51+Helpful+Ideas+Vol+2

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PA RT T WO O F T H E

C O M M O N S E N S E M A R K E T I N G S E R I E S

®

★

★★

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““DDrraayyttoonn BBiirrdd kknnoowwss m

moorree aabboouutt mmaarrkkeettiinngg tthhaann aannyyoonnee iinn tthhee wwoorrlldd..

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Daavviidd OOggiillvvyy FFoouunnddeerr,, OOggiillvvyy && MMaatthheerr

★

★★

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““DDrraayyttoonn BBiirrdd iiss aa wwiissee aanndd w

wiillyy ddiirreecctt mmaarrkkeetteerr.. PPeeooppllee aallll oovveerr tthhee wwoorrlldd hhaavvee bbeeeenn lluucckkyy eennoouugghh ttoo lleeaarrnn ffrroomm hhiimm..

SSiirr MMaarrttiinn SSoorrrreellll,, FFoouunnddeerr,, WWPPPP

””

THE MISSING

51 HELPFUL

MARKETING IDEAS

More simple, tested, yet often neglected ideas guaranteed

to improve results

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DRAYTON BIRDis an internationally-applauded author, copywriter, teacher, lecturer and consultant.

The Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton, with others such as Tom Peters, Ted Levitt and Philip Kotler, as one of the 50 individuals who have shaped modern marketing.

His best-known books include Commonsense Direct and

Digital Marketing (currently in its 28th year and 5th edition), Sales Letters that Sell and Marketing Insights and Outrages. Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing was described by

David Ogilvy as “Pure gold. Read it and re-read it. It contains the knowledge of a lifetime” and has sold more than 200,000 copies in 17 languages.

Drayton has written over 1,000 columns for international magazines, spoken in 50 countries and worked with many leading brands, among them American Express, BA, Deutsche Post, Ford, Microsoft, Nestle, Proctor & Gamble, Philips, The Royal Mail, Unilever and Visa.

He now runs the London marketing consultancy Drayton Bird Associates, the online Commonsense Marketing programme (www.draytonbirdcommonsense.com) and the European Academy of Direct & Interactive Marketing Studies.

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PRAISE FOR DRAYTON BIRD

“Here is a man who has lived it, studied it and done it. When it comes to direct marketing there is no-one better

than Drayton Bird.”

Director of the First US Trade Mission for Direct Marketing “People toss the phrase “living legend” around far too casually. Drayton Bird really is such a person. he

knows direct marketing from the inside out, and the crucial details necessary to turn concepts,

strategies, and words themselves into sales, empires, and fortunes.

David Garfinkel, Publisher, World Copywriting Blog “Your books are among my most

valued possessions, and easily among the greatest ever written on advertising, right up there with those by Caples, Ogilvy, Schwab, Reeves and Hopkins.”

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ALSO BY DRAYTON BIRD:

Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing Kogan Page, 2007

How to Write Sales Letters that Sell Kogan Page, 1997

Marketing Insights and Outrages Kogan Page, 2000

The Master Marketer: How to Combine Tried and Tested Techniques with the Latest Ideas to Achieve Spectacular

Marketing Success (with Christopher Ryan) Kogan Page, 1994

Open for Business! How to Write Letters that Get Results (with Courtney Ferguson)

McGraw-Hill 2001 Some Rats Run Faster Secker & Warburg, 1964

The Drayton Bird Commonsense Marketing Online Seminars: www.draytonbirdcommonsense.com

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The right of Drayton Bird to be identified as the author of this book has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988.

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the author, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms and licences issued by the CLA. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the author at the under mentioned address:

Drayton Bird Associates

Moyle House, Fleet Hill, Finchampstead, Wokingham, Berkshire, RG40 4LJ. Tel: +44 (0) 845 3700 121 www.draytonbirdcommonsense.com

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T H E M I S S I N G 5 1 H E L P F U L

M

M A

A R

R K

K E

E T

T II N

N G

G II D

D E

E A

A SS

More simple, tested, yet often neglected

ideas guaranteed to improve results

DRAYTON BIRD

Foreword by Brian Featherstonhaugh, Chairman & Chief Executive Officer,

OgilvyOne Worldwide??????

D R AY TO N B I R D A S S O C I AT E S LT D 2 0 1 3

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I N T RO D U C T I O N

“Oil discovered in hell.”

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You see, the temptation to follow the crowd is almost over-whelming. It removes the need for hard work and study.

But only through studying what has happened in the past can you start to think properly - for all sound decisions derive from relevant knowledge

That is what these marketing ideas give you. I hope you find them helpful and applicable

They are based on practice, not theory. Often in difficult situations, in small and large markets across the world.

They have cost millions to uncover and took me five decades to gather.

I’ve often said I wished I had known about them sooner. I mean it. I would have been spared many sleepless nights. And a depressingly vast amount of money.

You have my unconditional money back guarantee: if you put them in action they will work. And I hope you do, because this book is an action book.

There are enough lemmings happily following any new fad or trend over the nearest cliff. The current one is social media.

Why not join those who are guided by what works?

Drayton Bird

P.S. This is the second of these books. You can get the first here: http://draytonbird.net/51ideas/

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“There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.”

- philosopher Bertrand Russell

DID YOU KNOW that according to a University of Waterloo study you forget 80% of what you read after 24 hours?

For example if you read a 200 page book today, you can recall only about 40 pages of it tomorrow. But it doesn’t stop there. It gets worse.

After a month you may remember only 2% - 3% of what you have read – less than 9 pages out of 200.

Imagine how much time and money you waste! But luckily you can improve your comprehension and even save time with few simple learning tricks.

Please read these instructions completely before you continue.

How to extract the most out of what you read in the least time: 1. Skim the book through quickly: “flirt” with it; see how it’s

written.

2. Preview every page, a second or two per page – no more.

H OW YO U C A N G E T M O S T O U T

O F T H I S ( A N D A N Y ) B O O K

Please read these instructions carefully before you begin.

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3. Read the book from beginning to end. Accelerate on

familiar parts. Slow down on important parts. (Don’t do any heavy note taking at this point. That’s for later.)

4. Briefly review what you read. Just as you previewed the

material earlier.

5. Now complete your notes. You can’t

make intelligent notes until you have read the book completely, because how could you know in advance what really is going to be important to you?

6. Review. You’d be surprised how much

you have already forgotten. Even a 5 minute review could be enough lift your recall back to 70% to 80%. Reviewing is the key to a strong memory.

If you follow these steps, you will be able to cut your reading time and improve your comprehension and recall. Why?

Because just as in advertising, repetition pays.

Now you have hammered the information into your head several times, so it will stay there longer. But this process doesn’t take you much longer than reading the “old” way. It may take less.

Here’s why.

When you do a little warm ups with the text, your brain adjusts to what you are studying. Just as you warm up your muscles before sports. Makes sense?

You will read faster because you are now more familiar with the text. And by previewing, reviewing and intelligent note taking you will remember more of what you have read.

Relax! Simply follow these study tips to get a maximum return on your investment in this book.

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What’s more you can now quickly review your notes, so your investment keeps paying off in the future – instead of vanishing from your mind like a shadow in the night.

And if you really want to boost your learning, write answers to these two questions before you begin:

1. Why am I reading this?

2. What do I want to get out of it?

By doing that you are giving your mind a sense of direction and purpose

Please begin now and remember: to get the best results studying should be fun – not a chore. So I hope you find what follows not just helpful but entertaining.

MY RATHER EXTRAVAGANT

100% MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE

Some of these ideas may seem almost laughably simple. Some may relate to you and your plans; some may not.

You probably already know a few – yet one of the most common comments I have received about them is, “I knew that, and we should be doing it, but we’re not.” It’s so easy to overlook even the most obvious things, isn’t it? I do all the time.

The important thing is that every one of the Helpful Ideas in this book is based on experience, not theory.

One of the world’s most successful direct marketers told me that not knowing about one of the ideas in the first of these books cost him at least a million dollars.

Put them to the test for yourself.

IIff yyoouurr pprrooffiittss ddoonn’’tt iinnccrreeaassee bbyy 110000 ttiimmeess wwhhaatt yyoouu p

paaiidd ffoorr tthhee bbooookk,, II’’llll ggiivvee yyoouu yyoouurr mmoonneeyy bbaacckk –– ggllaaddllyy,, iiff aa lliittttllee ppuuzzzzlleedd..

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Marketing is one of the first things to feel the axe when times get tough – and no wonder if you have no idea what it's doing for you.

DO THE FOLLOWING FIGURES interest you?

By moving nine words from the bottom to the top of a form, a loan firm increased the number of applications by 240% Adding two words in an email subject line doubled the number of enquiries about a telephone service

Putting someone's face in a letter about investment increased sales by 20%

Removing one piece from a direct mail piece for a bank increased return on investment by 92%

If those figures don't interest you, stop reading now. If they do, keep going.

Why managers cut marketing

When recession strikes, where do managers save money? Well, very logically they cut out things that don't seem essential. Often that means marketing ... a rather vague discipline which often seems to ask you to spend a lot of money for an unquantifiable return.

This is because very little marketing is conducted in a measurable

H E L P F U L I D E A 1 :

Battle tested recession survival strategy

for the rest of us

Force your marketing to make money – by measuring.

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way. Yet all the really successful marketers - Procter & Gamble for instance - measure everything. What is more on today's dom-inant medium, the internet, everything can be measured.

If you look at some of the world's most successful firms -Amazon, eBay or American Express, for example - they rely entirely or almost entirely on direct marketing. Moreover, all internet marketing is direct marketing. That is, messages reach people directly via email, or they go directly to it when they go to a web page.

There are many other kinds of direct marketing - direct mail, mail order advertising, SMS messages for instance. And today the overwhelming majority of selling messages direct you to a website, giving you the chance to build a direct relationship. But what they all have in common is they make it easy to gauge what you get for your money.

Until you force every single message or action to prove, as far as possible, its value as an investment, you are conducting what I call kindergarten marketing.

Why it makes sense

There are three reasons, all simple, why direct marketing makes sense.

First, as I have explained, by coding all your messages you can measure your results, and when times are tough you need to know what results your investment is producing. Second, it is an ideal way to target and acquire the right kind of customers - the ones most likely to spend the most money. And third, it is the perfect way to retain those customers for longer - and the customer you have got is from 3 to 8 times more profitable than an identical person who is not a customer. In short, direct marketing, whether online or in traditional

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media allows you to spend your money where you will get the greatest return on investment.

But there is another reason which I first pointed out to an audience in India in 1987. Direct marketing is the closest thing yet to perfect marketing. Quite a claim, so let me explain. What is marketing?

Marketing is defined by the British Chartered Institute of Marketing as: "Identifying, anticipating and satisfying

cus-tomer requirements profitably".

There is another, simpler definition given by an American millionaire many years ago who said: "Find out what people

want and need, and give it to them - and you'll get rich".

Peter Drucker wrote that the aim of marketing is to "know

and understand the customer so well that the product fits him and sells itself." This is, if you agree with him, perfect marketing.

And it is what direct marketing does better than any other method.

To give a simple approach, first through the use of postal, telephone and internet questionnaires it can establish very cheaply what people say they want.

But as we all know, what people think they want or say they are often not what they really want and not a good guide to what they will actually do. That is why a lot of research is very mis-leading.

Direct marketing solves that problem by clearly answering the BIG question: will they buy it? It does so by asking them to do so.

As my old boss David Ogilvy put it, "General advertisers

can only guess. Direct marketers know." By testing different

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Why guess when you can know?

As a result I can tell you the answers to all sorts of interesting questions. Like what usually happens if you run long copy rather than short copy. How long you should have a phone number on the TV screen if you want to get the most replies. Where your headline is most likely to get read - and so on.

Peter Drucker also said, "The perfect advertisement is one

of which the reader can say, 'This is for me, and me alone.'"

By definition no mass advertisement can be perfect; but one which is addressed to individuals via direct mail or e-mail can be.

So it is worth reflecting that the light at the end of the advertising tunnel may be that of an oncoming train called direct marketing. You can get run over, get out of the way, or get on board: but whatever you do, don't ignore it.

It is already much bigger than traditional advertising. And almost all traditional advertising incorporates some means of response.

So if you’re not fluent in this discipline, you really should be.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

Direct marketing is an ideal way to target and acquire the right kind of customers – the ones most likely to spend the most money.

The customer you have got is from 3 to 8 times more profitable than an identical person who is not a customer. Spend your time and money where it does most good. Remember to key your every message in every media to track your results.

There is no excuse for NOT measuring – especially online where it’s so easy.

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Don’t fall for marketing automation mania. Many have lost a fortune trying to make computers do all the work. But computers can only do what you tell them. Not the opposite. And no system can think for you.

DO YOU BELIEVE in magic?

Marketers tend to. They are suckers for miracle cures - and here's why.

We all know our customers are lazy. That's why the words "quick" and "easy" always increase readership of any headline.

Show them how they can do something - lose weight, learn a language - with less effort, and you probably have a winning proposition.

You must package it well, though - preferably with an impressive name.

So it's not listening to and repeating words and phrases; it's "programmed learning". That makes you feel you're doing something important, doesn't it?

Why smart people do dumb things

Guess what? Marketers are just as lazy as customers - hardly surprising, as they are customers every day. Most (as I learned from asking them to define it in many countries) are too lazy to

H E L P F U L I D E A 2 :

A CRM checklist. Or a test: are you sober?

CRM systems can help or hurt you.

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even learn what marketing is - let alone what "direct marketing" means.

Anyhow, that word "direct" ... doesn't it sound distressingly close to direct mail? And we all know what that means, don't we? Junk. Ugh. That certainly doesn't sound very flattering, does it?

CRM sounds much better. People love it. Though I cannot for the life of me see how it differs from what I've always done. Mind you, it took me about nine years to get any good at what I do, whereas a few years ago Oracle's ads said: "Start today and have global customer relationship management in 60 days."

Sounds a lot better than hard work, doesn't it? Mr. Super CRM would whiz into your office and take care of everything for you! No wonder it took off.

Many firms started CRM divisions before even knowing what the heck it really was - or meant to their business.

No wonder that a few years after it first came into fashion, the US magazine Advertising Age reported that over 70% of firms who tried it said it didn't work.

I shall discuss why in a moment, with some good, practical advice you can act on from somebody who has specialised in this field.

A little reminder that miracles only happen in the movies.

The word 'loyalty' is often used about CRM. But as a former chairman of Marks & Spencer observed, "Customers are not loyal

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nor should they be. We have to earn their loyalty every day". His firm forgot that and it nearly ruined them.

Sober people know the obvious: nobody sane wants a rela-tionship with their bank or supermarket. They have enough trouble getting on with their families. And a "programme" won't cure any dodgy relationship.

The intelligent use of data does pay. Here is a good example. Ocado sent my partner Marta this, based on things she had bought before.

CRM schemes fail above all because your business lives or dies on its attitude to customers. And a quick fix doesn't change attitudes.

So here is check list for you. It was put together by my associate Peter Hardingham, who worked with me on and off for 20 years, and revised by me because I interfere with everything that leaves my office.

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Is CRM right for you? A 15-minute quiz

Step 1

Unless you have answered these four questions, there is absolutely NO point in boarding the good ship CRM.

Do you really know what your customers want?

Do you know what they think you promise them? Are they the same things?

Can you clearly identify these desires and beliefs, before and after they have become customers?

How will you find out? Do so before anything else!

Step 2

Set realistic expectations, and deliver what you promise or you can end up worse off than if you never started.

Can you deliver what your customers want - and, just as important, what they think you promise?

If not, what can you deliver now, and in the future? If it is in the future, how quickly? And how will you keep them happy in the interim?

Step 3

A customer in the dark is an angry customer. A customer in the know can end up buying more.

At what points in the buying process will you tell your customers what they want to know?

About their order? To reassure them?

Step 4

Can you identify the points from step 3 in every customer transaction? ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

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Are you sure your IT team can deliver?

If you have retail outlets, can the staff get this information - quickly and easily?

Step 5

Many firms still have separate databases for customer and transactional information If your marketing database can't access both, you're in trouble.

Can you record what happens at all every point in the transaction?

On a database all those who may need to know can access?

The moment of truth.

Did you answer the first 5 steps mostly 'yes'? If so, you stand a chance of CRM working for you. If you said mostly 'no', stop right now and get it right.

If you're talking to CRM consultants politely ask them to leave. Their time is expensive, and you'll lose your shirt.

Step 6 - start the ball rolling

Tell your customers what you plan to do Manage their expectations

Involve, motivate and train all your staff

Make sure everyone - particularly retail staff - gets the same respect

Step 7 - attend to detail

Remind yourself what you've promised, and deliver it. Often, essential processes are not part of firms' structures. They don't appreciate what skills and structures you need.

If this is an incentivised scheme, how will points, miles or

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other benefits be allocated, captured, and communicated to the customer?

How will redemptions be handled?

Step 8

Most customers won't tell you they are unhappy. They tell their friends - and walk away.

Set up a monitoring process in your company Make sure you identify any weak links that appear in the chain

Step 9

Ask your customers how they think you're doing

Loyalty can improve just by making it easy for them to tell you what they think

Allow your customers to suggest improvements. It's the best research you'll ever get

Step 10 - it doesn't stop

Don't imagine this is something you just "put in place". Keep listening to your customers

Keep learning from your customers Keep refining your system

Keep training and re-training your people When should you refer to these questions?

When your IT director says, "We've got this wonderful CRM software..."

When the board says, "That's a brave move you're making there, this CRM stuff..."

Just take out this quiz, and re-read it. You'll know more

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than many CRM consultants. You might even keep your job. P. S. I quoted Ocado earlier. They fail to do one essential, very simple thing with their database. I believe it is costing them millions.

P.P.S. If, like many, you have fallen in love with social media, you might end up making the same mistake as the CRM groupies.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

CRM is a diary of customer’s life with you – and only useful if you use it to help them.

It is not something you set up overnight. If you think CRM is right for you, get going.

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There’s a much quicker and smarter way to choose the right agency than going for the people you like. Test your candidates. With real work.

ONCE UPON A TIME, I used to bang out 6 or 7 articles a month for sundry marketing magazines around the world. Now I write two or three times as many, only most are called blogs.

Someone once asked me how I managed to find things to write about. "No problem," I replied. "I just have to flick through any marketing publication and I'm bound to find something absurd or stupid to comment on within minutes."

This came back to me when a while ago day I read with some amusement how a man who worked for me years ago had chosen a new agency for his big account.

Here's what made me laugh.

1. The whole process took over six months. 2. It was a "five-way pitch".

3. The agency he chose was staffed entirely by people he had worked with before.

Dr. Johnson said of sex: "the expense is damnable, the position ridiculous, and the pleasure fleeting."

This came to mind when considering this pitch, with three other thoughts.

H E L P F U L I D E A 3 :

How NOT to choose an agency

If you want to waste your money and time have a beauty parade of

prospective agencies. If you want results, do what smart marketers do: test.

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First I wondered on what criteria the agency was selected. It was hard to tell from what I read. It seemed that the winners had "the right mix of planning and creative skills" - and I should hope so.

I was at least glad that the usual reason - "personal chemistry" - didn't creep in; after all, if you've worked with people already that should be no problem.

I also wondered: how did the people feel in the agencies that weren't stuffed with this chap's pals?

(By the way, don't go running away with the idea that this is one of those sad sour grapes pieces – for seven years my colleagues and I worked for this firm's chief competitors, so my interest is purely professional).

The third thing I wondered was: how did this tortuous process affect what was going on in terms of marketing?

Just imagine all the meetings, the jargon-crammed documents written and read, the time spent seeing and discussing all the initial list of likely agencies before winnowing them down to a short list.

Then think of all the interminable presentations - which merge into one big blur of smiling faces and PowerPoint shows, believe me. I imagine, too, that the people who tell you which agencies to see got paid handsomely for their time.

Anyhow, in the end, what happened? An agency was chosen on the basis of people knowing each other and an idea that seemed plausible enough to make them all think or hope will work.

What might all this money, time and energy have produced if devoted to marketing? I’ll explain what I mean by that in a moment.

Think about it. STOP THE INSANITY

The one thing I'll wager did not happen is the one thing that should have. The one thing - and the only thing - that matters.

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They should have conducted tests.

It is insane to choose an agency for any other reason than results in a business where you live or die on them - which this one does.

For a lot less, and a lot quicker the client could have asked a few agencies to create some material to test - and paid them, too. By now he would have an agency - and something that worked.

But what did actually happen?

There was probably another few months spent while they did all this with the chosen agency - without doing the intelligent thing - testing their work against others.

Since the guy used to work for me I hoped (though not too earnestly) it worked out for them all - because if not, the pleas-ure would indeed be fleeting - just like the tenpleas-ure of the aver-age marketing director.*

And I have just explained the chief reason why. What's more, what I'm talking about can be adapted to any kind of marketing, not just the direct kind.

An old friend once worked for Charles Revson, the founder of Revlon. I asked him what Revson was like to work for.

"He was a nightmare" said my friend. "They used to drag marketing guys out on stretchers with bleeding ulcers after working with him for three months. But I'll tell you one thing. He tested everything - even the price."

* Since I first drafted this the firm in question has staggered along, with a lot of financial woe.

So how SHOULD you choose an agency?

Having got that bit of spleen about pitching off my teeny little concave chest, you may wonder how you should choose an agency.

This is what I think.

Do your research. Look out for work you like that has got measurable results - and only talk to agencies who get results. Ignore those that just win awards unrelated to measurable

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results. And be damn careful to look into the basis on which they say they got those results.

Look at agency websites. Try to find good ones (not easy -most try to be too bloody clever for their own good - or yours). Look at who their clients are. Look at their work, if any, results if any - and client testimonials. Ring up their clients and ask what they think

Make a short list, no more than 5, preferably less.

Go to their offices. You won't learn a damn thing sitting in yours.

Ask them to take you through one or two success stories and a failure. Get them to explain what went right and why - and vice versa. Don't let them get away with vague waffle; make them be precise.

If they say they don't have any failures, walk out.

Explain what you want. See what they say. Does it make sense? Do you like them? Yes: it is best to do business with people you like.

Ask them who precisely will work on your business and what they will do. Make sure you meet them, not just some flash bullshitters with fancy titles.

Now, choose the two or at most the three agencies you like best, and ask them to create something to test. Pay them. Do you work for nothing?

Doesn't that make more sense than having a committee of noddies making the decision?

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

Buying advertising services is like buying anything else. First, you test.

Don’t fall for hip offices or sexy account handlers. Buy brains, not looks.

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

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Perhaps the easiest way to increase your advertising’s selling power is simply to add more proof: testimonials, as seen on TV, mentions in press, experts’ statements, associations’ favorite. Research. Specific sources. Faces of happy customers...

DO YOU RECOGNISE this man?

I only ask because one of my colleagues didn't recognise him. So in case you didn't, look at this.

Yes. It's the late glorious leader of Iraq, Saddam Hussein.

H E L P F U L I D E A 4 :

What a dead dictator can teach you about marketing

Fame may help sales, but it’s not everything. You need proof.

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Where did he go wrong? Why is he dead? Above all, because he made one fatal mistake. He told the truth.

But nobody believed him, because he didn't prove it was true.

He said "I have no deadly weapons" - which was true. Nobody believed him because he wouldn't let UN weapons inspectors look everywhere they wanted to - which would have shown he was not lying.

Whereas Bush and Blair lied. But they got away with it because Saddam never proved they were lying.

I weep to think of the countless innocents slaughtered as a result - I spent quite a while worrying because my stepson did two tours in Iraq as a U.S. marine.

Now, your response rates may not be a matter of life and death. But your business or your career may depend on them.

So don't imagine that people will believe what you say just because you know it's true.

As David Ogilvy remarked, "Why should anyone take the word of an anonymous copywriter?

I sometimes think the most underrated weapons of all in our business are testimonials, guarantees, independent verification -proof.

Are you using them enough?

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

The more proof you have, the better you do. Truth isn’t enough. Prove it.

If a well known name is all you needed to get rich, wouldn’t Hitler be the world’s most profitable brand?

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It’s surprising how much better your copy will be if you try to be a little more human. Sounds elementary? The most powerful things usually are. Here’s a superb piece of personal communication that sells.

SOME TIME AGO I did a seminar for 11 Virgin Wines people. They said they learned a lot (8 "fabulous" ratings, 3 "very good") but I learned a lot, too.

I always do from one man who was there, and who is just brilliant.

Not surprising, because he founded the business - and before that ran Virgin Finance. Now he has started another business, Naked Wines which is going through the roof.

After the seminar, he sent me this e-mail. Read it and weep, as I did.

Why is so little of my stuff as good as his?

But when I read something this good, I wonder what I can learn - and copy

From: Rowan Gormley [mailto: [email protected]] Sent: 12 July 2007 10:03

To: Drayton Bird

Subject: Help me keep my job. Please Dear Drayton,

I would like to offer you a case of sensational, very hard to find wines,

H E L P F U L I D E A 5 :

If you write well as this charming man,

call me, you are hired

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at half-price, a ludicrously low £3.17 a bottle. Why?

Well, some unkind people think that I spend all my time drinking great wines, in gorgeous places, with delightful people. And I resent that. Probably because it is so true.

The only bad thing, is that the best winemakers are the worst salesman - and the best salesman are lousy winemakers.

And so to do my job (which is to find you wines that are better than you can buy at your local supermarket, for less money, by the way) I have to ignore the slick salesman with their massive marketing budgets. To do my job properly, I have to discover the little guys. The wine-makers who are too passionate about making brilliant wine to worry about how they are going to sell it. The kind of people who will get up at 2am to pick grapes by the full moon, to get the extra ounce of freshness. But won't get out of bed to see me when I come knocking on the door.

To get their attention (and therefore their wine) we decided to invite a group of our "in the know" customers to club together. After all a few thousand people knocking on the door are going to get a lot more attention than little old me.

That initial band of 2000 customers has now grown to 30,000 members.

Here is what they have to say about being a member of our Club. "I had no idea there were so many delicious wines that I had never tried"

"I am blown away. Just a fantastic service" So what is in it for you?

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Well to start with, we would like to offer you a welcome case at half the normal price. A saving of £40. Why? The more members we have, the better we can buy, the better we buy the more members we can have. And then every quarter, after tasting our way through literally thousands of wines, and we will pick out the absolute best for our members. We will write to you to tell you about the wines we have selected. You can then change the case in any way you want (more of this, less of that, or even no case at all). OR sit back and relax, and we will ship them to you.

And the best bit...after you have tried the wines, members get a minimum of15% the price that the general public pay. So you get the lowest possible prices, on the wines you have chosen, out of the wines we have chosen, out of the 1000's that we have tasted.

Is there a catch? Let me think....er....no. This is not one of those ghastly book clubs. If you don't want the wines, all yo u have to do is say so. We will refund your money instantly, without fuss, if you are not happy with the wine, the service or anything else. We will even come and collect the wines off your doorstep if you want us to.

So what makes this so good?

1. Great subject line. Surprising, makes you want to know more. And everyone likes to help.

2. Starts with an irresistible offer. 3. Bags of charm - makes you laugh.

4. Relevant surprise: the contrast between those who sell and those who make is so clever and appropriate.

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6. Convincing when you read about the growth of the number of customers plus the testimonials.

7. Then a wonderful wrap up that explains what a great deal it is. 8. And a great guarantee.

Marvellous stuff!

If you study his approach, you'll do well, I promise. PS A confession:

"I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was" is a joke I once had on my business cards.

The truth is that my seminars always get very good ratings - but the Virgin rating was unusually high. I'll have to work hard to beat it.

But if you want an intimate seminar like that, which was in our rather cramped offices, let me know at:

[email protected], give me time to prepare something special for you, and I'll try and improve.

P.P.S. The copy I just quoted was in text with no pictures. Later they tested the same approach in HTML with pictures. It didn’t work as well. Text usually does better than fancy visuals in emails to prospects.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

To improve your ad, try to improve your offer first. You can be charming without being a comedian. The most effective communication is personal: from me to you. ● ● ● ● ● ●

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Here’s what you can learn about marketing from eating sushi.

WHAT CAN A BOX OF SUSHI teach you about the future of brands?

A lot of people think I lunch every day in smart restaurants, me being a "guru" and all.

Alas, not true - though I used to, and don't regret a drunken moment of it.

The other day, I had sushi from Pret a Manger.

Years ago one of their founders came to a seminar I ran for the Institute of Direct Marketing, so I would love to say their astounding success owes something to me.

But I doubt it. Because what they do well besides bloody good food is attend to detail - and they do a complete selling job, especially to the most important people.

Who are these important people?

They are, as I'm sure you know, their customers. Not their prospects. And not just any customers. The ones who just bought and carried their food to the table, or in my case to the office.

If you could read the little black and gold messages on my lunch, you would see that one tells why their wasabi - the ginger mustard you eat with sushi - is a rather muddy colour, unlike the bright green you get with most sushi.

It's because they don't use, as they say, "a colouring called Brilliant Blue E133. Yuk!" - and how right they are to tell that

H E L P F U L I D E A 6 :

Sushi and the future of brands

Building your brand is work.

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to their customers, many of whom care more than average about their health.

The other message is all about the ingredients and even the fact that the boxes are Japanese.

So here's my helpful idea – with a rider:

It is the piling on of convincing detail at the right time to the most important people that builds a great brand.

It is also what leads to copy that works. Every reason you can give to someone to buy your product is a sales made that you wouldn’t have made otherwise.

But when those reasons are given to people who have already bought – and who therefore are your best future prospects – they are a powerful weapon indeed.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

When you have figured your brand’s positioning on paper, don’t assume your job is done.

Why not go and buy an Innocent smoothie, read the copy on their bottle, and think about it.

● ● ● ●

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Things that work in direct mail usually work on email - but there are exceptions. Unfortunately some of the most pow-erful sales words like FREE may sometimes get you in trou-ble.

PROBABLY THE MOST SUCCESSFUL creative formula in any medium is 'problem-solution.'

In most thrillers, the plot revolves around problems being solved - e.g., the hero is falsely accused of a crime and will be executed if he doesn't find the real murderer.

In classical music, the fulfillment comes when the music moves from an unsatisfying dissonance to a final consonance where everything seems to come together.

In marketing messages you have the before and after too: lined face, smooth skin; dirty floor, clean floor; poor, rich - and so on. You see it all the time in headlines and TV commercials. Generations of copywriters (like me) have worked like mad to devise good problem solution headlines. And they worked very well in internet subject lines - to start with.

But spam has killed many of them. Here are 99 words or phrases that can stop your messages getting through, compiled by Jordan Ayan of SubscriberMail.

Jordan is a Guru, just like people keep telling me I am - but at least he has the right kind of name for the job.

1. 100% free

H E L P F U L I D E A 7 :

One of these 99 words could slaughter your emails

Know the words that could stop you from making money you deserve.

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2. 50% off 3. act now

4. all words that relate to sex or pornography 5. all words that related to cures or medication 6. amazing

7. anything that looks like you are YELLING 8. apply now

9. as seen

10. as seen on Oprah 11. as seen on TV 12. avoid

13. be your own boss 14. buy 15. call now 16. cash bonus 17. cialis 18. click here 19. collect 20. compare 21. consolidate 22. contains $$$ 23. contains word "ad" 24. credit

25. Dear Friend 26. discount 27. don't delete

28. double your anything 29. double your income 30. e.x.t.r.a. Punctuation 31. earn

32. earn $

33. earn extra cash 34. easy terms 35. eliminate debt 36. extra income

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37. fast cash 38. financial freedom 39. for only 40. for you 41. FREE 42. free 43. free access 44. free gift 45. free info 46. free instant 47. free offer 48. free samples! 49. friend 50. g a p p y t e x t 51. get

52. get out of debt 53. hello

54. herbal 55. hidden 56. home based 57. hot

58. information you requested 59. instant 60. levitra 61. life insurance 62. limited time 63. loans 64. lose 65. lose weight

66. lower your mortgage rate 67. lowest insurance rates 68. make money

69. medicine 70. mortgage

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72. notspam 73. now only

74. numerical digits at the end 75. offer 76. online degree 77. online marketing 78. online pharmacy 79. only 80. open 81. opportunity 82. promised you 83. refinance 84. removes 85. reverses 86. satisfaction

87. search engine listings 88. serious cash

89. starting with a dollar amount 90. stop or stops 91. teen 92. you're a winner! 93. undisclosed recipient 94. valium 95. vicodin 96. winner

97. work from home 98. xanax

99. your family

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

This list could be obsolete by the time you read this, because technology changes every day.

Test, test, test.

● ● ● ●

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If you struggle to sell to businesses, you could making this common – almost universal – mistake.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU READ the agony column in papers and magazines but I have my own.

I get lots of questions from people, and just occasionally I come up with an intelligent answer.

One is quite common, in one guise or another. So when a reader from IBM in Slovakia asked me it, I thought I'd show you what I said. Here's her e-mail:

What do you think about being emotional regarding IT people in B2B - managers/geeks, etc.

I wrote an e-mail and asked around what people thought ...I tried to use emotional words balanced with dry technical "must be there" descriptions....

And many of the comments were a bit like: "Don't assume that IT people are stupid...they hate such words...

So as an expert what do you say?

I replied:

IT people are (as far as we can see) quite human.

H E L P F U L I D E A 8 :

How to sell to businesses (plus a tip on dealing with geeks)

If you treat people as people, you’ll do well.

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They love, hate, laugh, fear, hope, have ambitions - and so on. We've done a fair amount of work for a very big firm called Tekronix on their copy. I actually did a seminar for them in Oregon.

They sell highly sophisticated testing and measuring equipment - similar types to the IT folk - and what we suggested seemed to work very well.

We find that combining emotional and practical benefits works, and it pays to speak in plain English, not techno-gloop - but you must be very clear and strong on the practical features.

In fact that excellent US expert Bob Bly states that he has found this is one kind of business where features matter more than benefits. As to whether IT - or any other people - are stupid or clever, here is one fact and one golden rule.

1. Some are stupid, some are clever but you need to persuade all of them.

2. Therefore, write so clearly that even the stupid ones understand -because the clever ones will too.

Also, do what you would in normal life when talking to someone. Be polite. Don't make it obvious that you think someone may be stupid. In copy the magic phrase is, "As you know" at the start of a sentence where you say something everyone should know - but perhaps many don't.

What about jargon? Use enough to let people know that you’re on their wavelength, or they won’t respect you.

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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below.

He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in IT," says the balloonist. "I do," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

Even geeks are people, although it could be sometimes hard to believe.

Even bosses are people, although it could be sometimes harder to believe.

Write so clearly that even the stupid will understand - because the clever will too.

A common mistake in selling to businesses is to use too much jargon, not too little.

● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

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How one man went to jail before he understood this secret of success.

"THE DEVIL HAS ALL the best tunes" - old saying.

I hope this isn't going to shock or surprise you, but you probably know already that if you want to know how to sell online, the people who know most are those who sell 'adult' material.

However, I'm not talking about that today. I'm talking about this ad, or rather the business that ran it, from which you can take note of something simple but important.

This ad was sent to me by Lawrence Bernstein whom you can reach at http://www.infomarketingblog.com

Lawrence runs a service any serious creative person can benefit from - he has a file of great ads going back 80 years, all of which teach important lessons.

The man in the ad, Ralph Ginzburg, was - back in the Swinging '60's - a pioneer in two wildly different fields -'adult material' and investment advice.

I suspect his lewd offerings were far milder that what you see in the Daily Sport every day, but after he got out of jail, he

H E L P F U L I D E A 9 :

Why the profit is seldom in the first sale

To understand the lifetime value of your customer is magic.

To ignore it is a sin.

He went to jail but came back as a financial newsletter publisher who understood the value of a long

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started Moneysworth, which offered investment and financial advice..

In this case, the lesson is not so much about the ad, but about three facts:

1. His recruitment advertising never made any money 2. His newsletter never made any money

3. He made his money out of the things he sold to his subscribers This means he knew how much money he could afford to lose on getting customer, because he knew what they would buy eventually and what their purchases would make him.

If you’re curious about such things, I can tell you that each person who gets my helpful ideas is (at the time of writing) likely to give me about £8 of profit over the next year. Some never buy anything for four years and then do – there is a lesson in that, too.

The moral, and the helpful idea being: focus on the long-term value of a customer, not the profit from a sale.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

Think long term success, not one shot sales. Try to build your business around this principle.

● ● ● ●

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SOME TIME AGO, I GOT A MESSAGE from somebody called Marcus Noreply.

He (or it, if it was a machine that was talking to me) was promising me that I would Start Generating New Sales Today. Here's the message:

Dear Drayton Bird

As you may the new buzz term in direct marketing is "Pay Per Action", a markerting service that give your business the opportunity to enter into 24/7 bespoke targeted marketing campaigns Without the Risk.

How does it work?

A Pay Per Action Marketing account through C8W will allow your organisation to enter into regular scheduled marketing campaigns boosting both your brand and more importantly your sales. OK so whats the difference?

the difference being that unlike more traditional methods where you pay for everything regardless of the result, with a Pay Per Action account you pay only for the acitivity generated and not the marketing itself. Therefore if for whatever reason the campaign was unsuccessful

H E L P F U L I D E A 1 0 :

Never forget why it is called direct response

Take advantage of personal direct media.

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then it would cost you nothing.

What types of campaigns are included?

As a C8W Pay Per Action customer you will be assigned a dedicated Marketing Consultant to assist you in building well presented and targeted direct mail campaigns that when delivered through the techniques detailed below will instantly start to generate new potential customers for your business.

Services include: Traditional Direct Mail Telemarketing

Email Marketing Fax Marketing Search Marketing

Contact C8W UK today to find out how your business can start to benefit from Marketing Without The Risk!

Please use the "Make Contact" link below to make contact with a C8W UK representative and begin the process of taking your sales and marketing programme to the next level.

Yours sincerely,

The Business Development Team C8W UK

0870 922 0584

Frankly, I would be very unlikely to do business with Marcus Noreply, for a number of reasons.

The first is that these machines that spew out messages but give no name you can reply to irritate the hell out of me. The

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whole point of direct response is that it gives you chance to build a relationship with people.

And by people, I mean individuals.

If I wish to talk to someone, I want to know who they are -not a team, -not an anonymous UK representative: a real live human being with a real name.

I am not an eccentric in this; everyone is like that. A name increases response; it's that simple. A face will increase it further. A signature, further still.

Next, if anyone wants me to use their services, they should show some slight dawning glimmers of competence.

Consider the fact that the copy itself is very poor, full of jargon and clichés and makes neither a complete nor a persuasive argument.

On top of that there are two literals, three grammatical errors and one missing word in it. Quite an achievement in 237 words.

Even schoolchildren have heard of spell-check and know they should read their work before submitting it. Damned idle. And the shame of it all is that they have a very interesting promise. But why should I imagine they can sell for me if they can't sell themselves?

Actually I've decided that illiteracy and sloppiness rule among these firms. Here's another one. Four mistakes in the first three paragraphs. Way to go, bozo!

att: Drayton Bird Partnership Hi,

Emedia produce Email Stationery for Companies, and we are interested in quoting for producing yours?

The Email Stationery Emedia produce does not contain the images as all the image content of your template is embedded preventing any rejection from the recipients server and ensuring high speed travel.

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The Email stationery we produce for companies, are the same

e-letterheads that the large blue chips companies are now implementing (see examples http://emedia-solutions.co.uk/emailexample.htm ) providing a professional letterhead for your email correspondence to be sent out on while ensuring reliability in transit.

We can also animate your existing logo to give that cutting edge presentation. (See samples http://www.emedia-solutions.co.uk/logo.htm ) You wouldn't dream of sending hard copy correspondence out without using your company's pre printed stationery, you can now send your emails out on your company's stationery 100% reliably and for a negligible cost.

You provide us with your artwork, either in hard copy or an emailable version (We can lift artwork from your website if you like), we send you a proof, once approved, we provide a personal self installing down-load which will incorporate your letterhead into your emails, giving all your staffs correspondence a professional identity.

If you would like to know more information or to place your order then use the website links below.

If it is someone else within your organisation who would decide on this then please forward them this email.

Email letterheads are compatible with Outlook and Outlook Express, the most widely used email software. You can select to use your E-letterhead or de-select whenever appropriate, once installed your E-letterhead can be used whenever you want.

To find out more about this service use our website link below or give us a call on 01782 444821.

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bespoke online ordering systems, Online Web traffic control systems, Online Training Systems, Online Contact database Management with automated emailing, if you would like us to explore how we can help your entire online presence then give us a call, and allow us to explore how we can help your business.

Regards

Adam Ward-Best

So, having warned me they are sloppy by not writing decent English, they never really tell me the benefits of their services – and try to sell too many things anyhow. Any one of those mistakes can kill sales.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

Stand out by being personal.

If you can't write decent English why should people think you can do anything else well?

Tell people exactly what you offer. You may know but they don't.

Many companies go great lengths to avoid any direct contact with their customers. Take advantage of their stupidity. ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

51+Helpful+Ideas+Vol+2

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C O M M O N S E N S E M A R K E T I N G S E R I E S

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THE MISSING

51 HELPFUL

MARKETING IDEAS

More simple, tested, yet often neglected ideas guaranteed

to improve results

PRAISE FOR DRAYTON BIRD

ALSO BY DRAYTON BIRD:

T H E M I S S I N G 5 1 H E L P F U L

M

M A

A R

R K

K E

E T

T II N

N G

G II D

D E

E A

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More simple, tested, yet often neglected

ideas guaranteed to improve results

DRAYTON BIRD

CONTENTS

I N T RO D U C T I O N

“Oil discovered in hell.”

H OW YO U C A N G E T M O S T O U T

O F T H I S ( A N D A N Y ) B O O K

Please read these instructions carefully before you begin.

MY RATHER EXTRAVAGANT

100% MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE

H E L P F U L I D E A 1 :

Battle tested recession survival strategy

for the rest of us

Force your marketing to make money – by measuring.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

H E L P F U L I D E A 2 :

A CRM checklist. Or a test: are you sober?

CRM systems can help or hurt you.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

H E L P F U L I D E A 3 :

How NOT to choose an agency

If you want to waste your money and time have a beauty parade of

prospective agencies. If you want results, do what smart marketers do: test.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

H E L P F U L I D E A 4 :

What a dead dictator can teach you about marketing

Fame may help sales, but it’s not everything. You need proof.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

H E L P F U L I D E A 5 :

If you write well as this charming man,

call me, you are hired

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

H E L P F U L I D E A 6 :

Sushi and the future of brands

Building your brand is work.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

H E L P F U L I D E A 7 :

One of these 99 words could slaughter your emails

Know the words that could stop you from making money you deserve.

THINGS TO CONSIDER: