Embry Diary 2020 - Volume 5
With acknowledgement to Daniel Defoe’s “Journal of the Plague Year” (and
“Bridget Jones’ Diary”)
Week 41
Friday 25/12/20 – Christmas Day Lockdown Day 278
Tier 3 D-1
Woofee! Happy Christmas Fans!
I’ve had a lovely day.
When I got up this morning there was a super new squeaky toy for me under the
Woofmas tree. It’s shaped like a Christmas tree and is bright green. I played
with it so much my Dad had to remind me to take him out for his walk. There was
no sign of a new ribbon for my typewriter so I was a bit disappointed.
The walk was lovely. All the squelch was very hard with frost and my ball
bounced ever so high
–
and the sun was shining but it was very cold.
When we got home my Mum opened my present of sardines. They were ever so good
and I think the oil keeps my coat nice and glossy.
Then I found my typewriter! I looked for it everywhere yesterday but it had
gone. This morning it has a splendid new (all black) ribbon and as you can see
my Dad has had the keys mended so all the letters line up. I am Very Happy!
We had more of the family for mulled wine and mince pies under the porch before
lunch and I gave them a huge welcome. I was so good at it that I got an extra
treat.
My Mum and Dad had a HUGE piece of meat for lunch
–
I got some bits afterwards
and it was very good. They drank lots of red stuff and I think I detected a
hint of insobriety but they seemed very happy. Then my Dad burnt the Christmas
pudding
–
he seems to have forgotten my Mum had made a small one this year and
used a full dose of some flammable substance to pour on it. I would have
dialled 999 but my paws were a bit too clumsy. My Mum wasn’t very pleased about
the charcoal round the edge of the pudding but my Dad refilled her glass and
she seemed quite happy again.
While my Dad washed up my Mum and I went for a walk. It was all a bit difficult
when she didn’t seem to be able to follow me in a straight line. I got her home
and now I’m going to have a snooze with my new
toy.
Saturday 26/12/20 – Boxing Day Lockdown Day 279
Tier 3 D
That Dog is becoming insufferable now she has her new squeaky toy and her refurbished typewriter.
For a start she has learnt to squeak the toy in triplets and does so twice in succession – da-da-da/da-da-da. I’m dreading the prospect of her learning the rest of “Jingle Bells”. She plays with it incessantly and insists on a good go before our morning walk. I’m sure it warms her up but when I’m half asleep it’s a bit wearing.
As to the typewriter, now it works properly she seems to think she should be Top Diarist (as well as Top Dog). I am fighting a strong rearguard action.
I thought her remark about my flaming of the Christmas pudding was rather disparaging. Some people fry it for breakfast (!) and charred cabbage or lettuce is all the rage with posh chefs (!!) so what’s wrong with charred Christmas pudding? Anyway at least 2/
3 of it is edible.
Spent the day quietly with some soothing music, sorting out those presents which are to be donated to charity shops. Meagre pickings for them this year…
Speaking of presents (and back to That blasted Dog again) she is enjoying her sardines enormously. The windows are open – not to help protect against Covid but to disperse the smell.
Sunday 27/12/20 Lockdown Day 280 Tier 3 D+1
Definitely an Unday-Sunday for Dot the Dog and the rest of us. The squeaky toy made its by now usual appearance (and noise). The sunshine was enjoyed by all of us for the walks with Dot the Dog. The field-floods are more extensive than I ever remember.
Snow forecast so have not put away the arctic clothing I got out for the al fresco sessions with the family just before Christmas. Must check the crampons still fit over boots. Storm Bella doesn’t seem to have done any great damage locally although the wind was howling last night with lashings of rain.
Dot the Dog is disappointed that her club is closed tomorrow but I reckon the staff need a break after coping with her and about 60 other dogs (mostly better behaved) week in week out.
Monday 28/12/20 Lockdown Day 281 Tier 3 D+2
From the Desk of Dot the Dog
Hello again fans! I’ve had such a nice day my Dad said I could write about it. When I got up we played a lot with my squeaky Christmas tree toy. My Dad played a silly game trying to hide it but he wasn’t much good and I found it every time. For some reason he didn’t seem to be very happy.
Then I went outside and it had snowed! I made sure my Dad got his winter clothes on very quickly and took him for his walk. It was lovely over the fields and I played a lot in the snow – it’s very exciting when the snow gets between your toes. Have you ever tried digging a snow-hole with your nose? It’s ever so much fun but it does make you sneeze a bit. We played lots of ball games but my Dad seemed to get a bit tired – he’s very old. I sometimes wonder what he was like when he was a people-puppy.
We saw some silly horses playing snow games too but they didn’t have a ball to play with.
Home to breakfast. Stilton cheese to liven it up. It was wonderfully smelly.
After all that I had a bit of a rest but I have just been supervising my Mum making a sort of cottage pie with some of the left-over pork – I had to keep very close to her. My Dad called it “Pigsty Pie”. I expect she will let him back in the house before bedtime.
“From the Desk of Dot the Dog” indeed! I told you she was getting above her station in life. I must find a way to take her down a peg but she outplays me every time (so far…).
Tuesday 29/12/20 Lockdown Day 282 Tier 3 D+3
Finally got That Dog out of the way –so it’s boring me writing today!
As usual despite having displaced her from her “desk” her activities have pretty well ruled the day. Squeaky damned toy at dawn followed by walk in serious snow. She doesn’t consider my age and frailty so we were playing (energetic) ball games for far too long. Yesterday afternoon S reported 2 coots having an altercation on the field-flood – they still seemed to be at it this morning.
S has had a brainstorm and “tidied” the linen cupboard. Cue Dot the Dog retiring to “her” settee and me retiring to a darkened room with cold compress (and beer). Wonderful what emerged apart from linen – 3 ancient tennis
racquets (none of this carbon fibre rubbish – good old-fashioned Slazenger wooden frames), an indian-head hockey stick, a badminton racquet and sundry board games. Heading for the charity shop when it reopens – until then might have to go back in the cupboard.
Weather delayed Sainsbury’s order but at least it got here eventually –we got a £5 voucher because they hadn’t warned us!
Wednesday 30/12/20 Lockdown Day 283 Tier 4 D-1
I remain in charge –under sufferance…
Beginning to find all these Tier changes bewildering – just got used to what we could do in T3 and now we seem pretty well back to Lockdown Mk1. No Monday walks for a bit and it’s a good job the hairdresser was a little overenthusiastic last time! Monday lunches at the Havoc Arms again for a while.
As usual That Dog has had a good walk – hard frozen this morning. Ice on the puddles could almost bear my weight. Dot the Dog made full use of 4-paw traction. Field floods both frozen over – only about 10% of each was open water. The coots seem to have made friends at last.
Dropped the end of a packet of mixed nuts on the kitchen floor (someone had laid it down with the open end where I expected the closed end to be). A flash of black and white and they were gone before I could get out of my chair – That Dog is very partial to nuts although unlike some of her predecessors she hasn’t mastered the art of cracking the shells. She now has a new trick – depositing That Toy right by your feet so that you inevitably stand on it. The resulting squeak is regarded as an invitation to play…
Thursday 31/12/20 –New Year’s Eve Lockdown Day 284
Tier 4 D
Around 3” of snow in total this morning. Looked like just the right stuff for making snowmen (see below). Dot the Dog loved it
The great advantage is that prancing around in the snow cleans her paws beautifully so no need for a bath on return home. Needless to say the “high” meant energetic games with The Toy afterwards!
This afternoon she met a Very Scary Snowman up the road. If it’s still there in the morning we’ll beat it up… Otherwise a boring day – so much so that I baked some granary loaves – trouble is the resulting aroma induces a sense of hunger leading to afternoon snacking!
Week 42
Friday 1/1/21 –New Year’s Day Lockdown Day 285
Tier 4 D+1
Woofy New Year fans! Here I am again. My Mum and Dad have been a bit subdued today and since it’s getting dark I have decided to get my typewriter out and do today’s diary. It’s much easier now I have a new ribbon and the keys are mended.
My Mum and Dad stayed up ever so late last night. They drank a lot of pink fizzy stuff and seemed very happy so I decided to go to bed. I had just dozed of when some silly people let off lots of fireworks which was very annoying.
My Dad looked rather pale when we got up this morning – I suppose it was quite early if you’d been up half the night. The first thing I did was to go outside and get my revenge for the pyrotechnics (what a long word – I had to copy it very carefully from my Dad’s big dictionary – sounds better than fireworks). I barked very loudly and for a long time and since all the curtains were closed I hope the beastly people were woken up like I was. My Dad didn’t look very happy.
Then I took my Dad out into the fields. On the way we passed the Very Scary Snowman. I barked at it too and showed it who’s boss. It had a nice yellow puddle round it by the time I had finished.
My Dad still looked a bit pale so I thought we should have a longer walk, but it didn’t seem to brighten him up much.
When we got home I had a lovely breakfast with cream cheese on it. My Mum and Dad had another glass of that pink fizzy stuff and seemed to be a lot happier.
I don’t think we have done much today. I played with my New Toy for a bit and my Dad winced once or twice but he didn’t try the “hide-it-away” game again – obviously I’m too good for him. He says when he was at school he used to play poker but I bet he wasn’t much good.
My Mum started cooking another HUGE piece of meat. She seems to have named it after one of the games she found in the cupboard the other day – “Backgammon” I think it’s called. My Dad says he’s looking forward to pea soup and a pie but I am not sure my Mum approved.
Later on this afternoon I took my Mum out for her walk. She kept stopping to talk to people. It’s very boring having to wait around but I managed to make my feelings known in “the usual way” (people seem to clap but dogs bark). We found another snowman in the field so I dug holes in it.
Now I’m waiting to see if the HPOM (huge piece of meat) needs trimming up before my Mum and Dad start on it.
Saturday 2/1/21 Lockdown Day 286 Tier 4 D+2
“A cold coming we had of it” – Journey of the Magi, T S Eliot
And we did! Dot the Dog has handed the diary back to me. She over-typed herself yesterday and is suffering from paw-strain.
It was cold this morning. Frozen snow underfoot and hard ground. However the dastardly snowmen had been thoroughly demolished and the ball games were good. Gave the birds extra feed, especially since there was one little chap singing its heart out on the way home – very cheery. Had it been later in the year I would have said it was a blackcap (and it looked like one) but I thought they were migrants.
Spent some time sorting out S’s tablet (of the Samsung variety, not medication). Why don’t they all behave the same? I have a different model of the same make and what works on mine is “not compatible” with hers. Resisted temptation to stamp on it (since I gave it to her last Christmas, so I’d have lost the investment and had to replace it). S had another brainstorm and “sorted out” the pantry. Amazing what she found. Duplicate “reserve” bottles and jars of this and that – and an ancient part-full bottle of cr
ème de menthe, now destined to drench ice cream. I
found it expedient to go for a long shower while this was going on and Dot the Dog retired to her bed (with
a cold compress once again). Spring cleaning approaches…
At least I didn’t have to accompany Dot the Dog for her afternoon walk in the snowstorm –S’s turn. As a true gentleman I gallantly put some mulled wine on for their return.
Must get the crampons out for tomorrow morning – in case it freezes again.
Sunday 3/1/21 Lockdown Day 287 Tier 4 D+3
Crampons not needed! Slush!
Out with Dot the Dog. As has become usual snowmen and large snowballs provided much entertainment (for her). Some wag had traced in the snow a (small-scale) replica of the “working parts” of the Cerne Abbas Giant. Some people have low expectations…
The ravens were about – saw and heard one and thought I heard the other. My little songster friend from yesterday was nowhere around. Got home and Dot the Dog was remarkably clean (but not so this afternoon as the thaw progressed).
The sheep seem to have moved on to pastures new and joy of joys (!) the missing chicken that lives with the ponies has reappeared.
Delicious home-made soup for lunch – Italian recipe – unlikely-sounding combination of mushrooms and chestnuts but it was of course beautifully set off by my walnut bread (my only contribution apart from enthusiastic slurping)…
Dot the Dog to her club tomorrow (it’s open as an “essential” business) so S and I shall do a good walk followed by a “pub” lunch at the Havoc Arms. The great advantage of that is you don’t have to drive home before the obligatory nap!
Note from the Desk of Dot the Dog – At least I shan’t have to spend another boring day with my Mum and Dad. I might even get to dig a proper hole.
Monday 4/1/21 Lockdown Day 288
Tier 4 D+4 (subject to revision after the Prime Minister’s Address to the Nation)
Dot the Dog snoring gently after an obviously good day at her club. Don’t know what she had been up to but she was a little reluctant to abandon it and come home. Had huge tea (twice!) and collapsed.
In her absence S and I walked to Redesmere and back this morning. Treacherously icy underfoot – risk of falls v high but managed out and back safely. Had it been a Probus walk I’d probably have called it off (don’t mind breaking my bones –or possibly S’s – but it would look a bit bad if a large part of the club ended up in plaster). Must get some new gloves!
Mulled wine when home. Good “pub lunch” at the Havoc Arms ensured afternoon nap (but I got cramp!).
Tuesday 5/1/21 Lockdown Day 289 Lockdown 3 Day 1
From the desk of Dot the Dog
Good evening again fans. My Mum and Dsd have been busy all day as you will see, so I am left to write all by myself.
When they got up this morning my Mum and Dad were talking about being locked up again (although once more I didn’t see any policemen about). They said they couldn’t leave home but I gather that nice Mr Boris has made a special dispensation for dogs to take their people out for a walk sometimes.
My Dad and I went over the fields and it looked like everybody else had been locked up ’cos there wasn’t anybody about. They seemed to have locked up all the children too and the school was closed. I checked where all the snowmen and big snowballs were and they seem to have been locked up as well – they were nowhere to be seen.
My Dad says everything that isn’t essential is shut but I am going to write to Mr Boris to make sure my club will stay open ’cos it must be “essential”. I ’spect my Mum will give me a stamp. I think he’ll be impressed by my super typewriter.
My Mum and Dad spent all day taking down Woofmas things. All the pretty lights have gone but my Dad got into ever such a state. First he couldn’t fit them all into what he called their (expletive deleted – Horrid) little boxes and then he nearly garrotted himself getting the ones down from the bush outside the front door. Then he hurt his foot standing on some things – I ’spect we’ll have to buy new whatever-they-weres next year. We had a Woofmas tree out of a box this year too in case being locked up stopped us getting a proper one (I s’pose it’s difficult to get one if you’re in handcuffs) and that wouldn’t go into its box either until my Dad sat on it.
In the end I got fed up ’cos they wouldn’t play with my squeaky toy. I persuaded my Mum to give me my bedtime biscuits and am going to hide under my blanket.
Wednesday 6/1/21 Lockdown Day 290 Lockdown 3 Day 2
Schadenfreude! Dot the Dog made a typo yesterday (did you spot it?) –she isn’t as invincible as she thinks! Of course I must be very careful not to do anything similar or she’ll be able to get her own back (and will do it with relish!).
We have all had a pretty peaceful day after the upheavals of yesterday. Dot the dog took S for a lovely sunny walk this afternoon but it was bitterly cold. However, standing at the kitchen window (inside, with central heating on) the sun did seem to have a trace of warmth about it –the frost on the lawn wasn’t taking any notice…
Off to the tip with Christmas detritus – mostly cardboard boxes. Huge number of spent batteries – the artificial candles on the tree use them up at a serious rate, but there are no trailing wires to cause trips or falls (and no risk of garrotting me on dismantling –see That Dog’s note from yesterday). Meanwhile S stowed “Christmas” in the
capacious cupboard under the eaves, although by the time “Christmas” is there space is very limited!
100 daffodils arrived this morning from Marx & Spensive to brighten things up after “Christmas” stowed away.
Thursday 7/1/21 Lockdown Day 291 Lockdown 3 Day 3
An “invigorating” morning. Out as always with Dot the Dog into freezing fog and a hard frost – rime on the trees and hedges as well as frost underfoot. Ice on the field flood thick enough to stand on – for Dot the Dog –I didn’t risk it! Reminded me of childhood in Suffolk when the watermeadows flooded and froze, and people skated; our neighbour had his grandfather’s leather skating boots and was pretty impressive on ice! Dot the Dog had frost on her ears when we got home.
Redwings feeding in the garden, and the local nuthatch. Otherwise surprisingly little in the way of birdlife. Put fresh water out – had frozen by lunchtime.
Kitchen deliciously warm thanks to bread in oven –smells good… Beef stew in the other oven helping too. Beginning to snow again – very powdery for now but forecast to go on all night.
More anon
