"Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu" Script

Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu by

Ayesha Devitre &

Shakun Batra FINAL HIND DRAFT 2011

ON BLACK

1 1

We hear a woman BREATHING heavily and another voice saying “Breathe in, Breathe out”... Music Seeps in.

FADE IN: EXT. HOSPITAL LABOUR ROOM - NIGHT

2 2

SLOW MO - We see a pair of legs tied to the labour bed

contraption, a bunch of doctors and nurses stand around, one of the nurses takes away the surgical equipment, a baby

CRIES. We hear the calm voice of Rahul Kapoor, talking just to us.

RAHUL (V.O.)

Two-Twenty-Five. Right! Ek minute mein do so pacchees bacche paida hote hain. Yani ki har second mein chaar bacche, aur jab tak yahan se aap ghar pauhcheinge is duniya mein 27,317 bacche paida honge.

INT. LIMBO

3 3

We track into an old scientist

RAHUL (V.O.)(CONT’D) Mere ek science teacher ki

calculations ke mutabik inme se 98.3% bacchon ko teen category mein bata jaa sakta hai.

Pehle--INT. DINING ROOM / STORE ROOM / LIVING ROOM - DAY/NIGHT We track from left to right in one continuous move - 1)a dining room.

RAHUL (V.O.)

Parents ke ‘Chamche’. Apne parents se behad pyaar karte hain aur unki har baat mante hain. Aur obviosuly parents unse humesha khush rehte hain.

A mother feeds her son as he gets ready for school, the child

4 4

obeys them quietly, Father looks at him with a proud smile. (beat)

Doosre - “The Rebels”

Now, we enter a dimly lit store room, A head is popping out

4A 4A

Ji haan krantikari!, Lekin Bhagat

4B 4B

Singh ki tarah inke dushman Brits nahin khud ke maa baap hain. In par jitna bhi cheek lo koi asar nahin hota.

Parents KNOCK and SCREAM from outside but the kid continues to smoke.

RAHUL (V.O.)

And then, the third kind - “The Smart Ass!”. Maa baap ko lagta hai yeh unki har baat mante hain par

We move in to a bedroom, two teenage girls pull up their

4C PT1 4C PT1

pyjamas over their party clothes and then step out of the room to kiss their parents good night . We follow. They quickly switch off the main light and take off their night clothes, under which they are all ready for a night out.

RAHUL (V.O.)

Main kaun si category se hun? (beat)

Ahhh--OMITTED

4C PT2 4C PT2

SWISH PAN TO - A family of three - THE KAPOOR’S - They are

5 5

all dressed in coordinated outfits. A seven year old kid sits between his urban, socialite parents. His face hidden behind a big fat book - “The Beginners Guide to SIGMUND FREUD”. MRS.KAPOOR reads ‘VOGUE’ and MR.KAPOOR sits with a Financial newspaper and a 1980’s cordless phone. AN UNUSUAL BREED OF DOG sits on a mattress next to them.

RAHUL (V.O.)

--That’s me. The fourth kind!! Udne ki chah to bahut thi lekin koshish karne ke pankh kuch kam.

(beat)

Aur mere mom dad?

WATER SPLASH. MUSIC LOWERS. Annual Swimming Competition has

5A 5A

just finished, BABY RAHUL KAPOOR, a cute boy in his swimming trunks with swimming goggles and two silver medals around his neck. His parents look a little upset. Mrs.Kapoor carries a late 80’s handycam and she’s dressed in the same wardrobe which was on the Vogue cover previously.

MR.KAPOOR (sighs)

Beta aap silver medal jeet gaye?? (kid smiles and nods)

Nahin aap gold medal haar gaye. (MORE)

(a bit hurt) You’ve lost a GOLD!

Mrs.Kapoor shakes her head in agreement and then notices something on Rahul’s face and frowns.

MRS.KAPOOR (encouraging)

Oh baby, koi baat nahin. Kal se hum swimming chod kar.

(thinks)

.. Golf try kareinge. (beat)

Kya hai na chlorine tumhari skin ke liye acchi nahin hai!!

Rahul stands there looking disappointed. MUSIC GOES BACK UP. RAHUL (V.O.)

Dad ko gold chaihye tha, aur mom ko perfect face. Aur woh paane ke liye sab kuch decide kiya gaya.

A MONTAGE’ OF STOCK FOOTAGE RUNS IN SYNC WITH HIS VOICE-OVER

5B 5B

BELOW AS IF IT’S A SCRAP BOOK OF HIS LIFE. RAHUL (V.O.) (CONT’D) Mera Khelna, Mera Khana, School, College, Kaunsa Course and before I knew it, I was an architect. Work-Ex ke liye mujhe Vegas bheja gaya. The hub of architecture and

construction. Ye mera office hai - Marshall & Fox, duniya ki gyarhvi best architectural firm par mere dad mujhe top two mein dekhna chahte the. Unka plan tha ki main saal bhar mein India aakar unka construction business join kar lun aur mom ka.. Ki main unki kisi socialite friend ki beti se shaadi kar lun.

He looks directly into camera

Par shaayad meri life ka kuch aur hi plan tha!

OMITTED

6 6

INT. OFFICE - LATE EVENING

7 7

A scientific calculator, set square and other architectural tools are being placed parallel to each other in a carton.

A pink slip (termination letter)is then placed on top of the box. A locker is then shut with a name slip on it which reads ‘Rahul Kapoor’. A hand slides it out to reveal another slip behind it which reads ‘Dharma Productions Presents’.

We see a huge office with a small figure leaving with a box.

7A 7A

We see the box he is carrying has a red ‘fragile handle with

7B 7B

care’ sticker on it under which it says - “title”. The man carrying it walks in a long box like glass corridor. He looks like an isolated small figure, wearing a dull shirt, tie and his jacket hung on his arm.

INT. ELEVATOR - MOMENTS LATER

8 8

A beautiful wall papered backdrop. The mirrored elevator doors shut and in the reflection stands RAHUL KAPOOR, a handsome man in his mid 20’s holding a box.

RAHUL (V.O.)

That’s me. Reputed Mr.& Mrs.Kapoor ka beta Rahul Kapoor and I’VE JUST BEEN SACKED!!

He looks up at the elevator light, he knows this is the end. Symbolically, he flips the light switch off.

day

1

The End

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - NIGHT

9 9

A LIGHT is switched on. A whole range of electric trimmers and hygiene products are standing parallel to each other. The mirror cabinet is shut to reveal Rahul, now clean shaven, half dressed, staring directly into the mirror.

RAHUL (V.O.)

Jis project par main 6 maheene se kaam kar raha tha woh ek Japaneese company ne acquire kar liya, aur cost cutting ke liye main aur team ke 14 members were laid off.

--And what bad timing, mom aur dad X-mas cum business meeting ke liye Vegas mein the?

He looks at the letter and folds it. We know he’s not going to tell his parents about this, at least for now.

INT. APARTMENT ROOM - NIGHT

10 10

He steps out and shuts the bathroom door. MR.KAPOOR (O.S.) Yeh kya hai?

MR.KAPOOR stands next to the miniature model on his table. MR.KAPOOR (CONT’D)

Swimming pool is taraf nahin us taraf hona chaiye, issey tumhein jyada parking space milega. yeh basics hain Rhaul, tum kar kya rahe ho?

Rahul opens his mouth to say something and then shuts it. RAHUL (V.O.)

Pata nahin kyoun 25 saal mein bhi, dad ke aage muhn to khulta hai par jubaan nahin hilti.

MR.KAPOOR Kya kaha?

Rahul nods “nothing”.

MR.KAPOOR (CONT’D) Suna hai, tumhari company India mein Micro housing par research kar rahi hai.

He nods yes and then quickly glances at the carton in the cupboard and walks up to it and shuts it well. He can’t muster the courage to say a word. All of a sudden we

hear--MRS.KAPOOR (O.S.)

--Bulani’s ka phir phone aaya tha. Let’s leave.

An old Western movie has just ended and it says - “THE END”. INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - ELEVATOR - MOMENTS LATER

11 PT1 11 PT1

Rahul stands trapped between his parents just the way we’ve seen before. Mrs.Kapoor a socialite, in her late forties, hair dyed brown, is dressed in a beautiful outfit. She helps Rahul put on his bow.

MRS.KAPOOR

Kitna old fashion hair style hai tumhara, new hair cut kyoun nahin try kate.. Go to the Vidal Sasoon salon tomorrow.. Aur thoda product use karo.. You’ll get some texture.

MR.KAPOOR

--Tumhari maa ko bahut pata hai, MBA kiya hai usne hair styling mein.

MRS.KAPOOR

Kaash kiya hota to tumhara kuch kar pati?

(beat)

..Kab se ke rahi hun, Soonawalla’s ki tarah Hair transplant karva lo, already 55 ke lagte ho!

MR.KAPOOR --main 57 ka hun.

INT. RAHUL’S BUILDING LOBBY - NIGHT

11 PT2 11 PT2

They all step out of the elevator AN ELITE COUPLE in their 50’s stand their Mrs.Kapoor checks out her wardrbobe.

INT. LIMO - NIGHT

12 12

All three of them are in a chauffeur driven limo. It’s funny how the three of them sit extremely quiet, like strangers in an airport. Silence.

RAHUL (V.O.)

Har family ka ek tradition hota hai, aur chalti gaadi mein chup bethna humara family tradition tha.

They sip their respective drinks. Rahul drinks orange juice. The car drives across the grand, beautiful casino’s lane in Vegas.

INT. CAESAR’S PALACE - NIGHT

13 13

They all walk towards the Opera. MR.KAPOOR

Bulani’s ne teen saal baad finally deal mein kuch interest dikhaya hai, So make sure you behave like a Kapoor. You

must--MRS.KAPOOR

--impress them baby. Kuch

intelligent, clever baatein karna, like The World Economy, Stock

market, Obama’s finance policy.. MR.KAPOOR

--Obama ki chinta tum mujh par chod do, tum bus unki nayi wife ko

entertaianed rakhna. MRS. KAPOOR Rahul

baby--MR.KAPOOR --Adjust your bow.

They exit frame...WESTERN CLASSICAL MUSIC takes over. INT. SYMPHONY HALL - NIGHT

14 14

BACH’S “Suite No. 4 in D major” is being performed by THE VEGAS PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA. It’s all so elite and

claustrophobic. The Kapoors pretend to like it and Rahul can hardly concentrate, he sneaks a glance to his left -

MR.BULANI - A Real Estate King in his 40’s. A man who clearly made it to success early in life and there’s no doubt that if there’s one person in the hall enjoying the symphony - it’s HIM.. unlike his AMERICAN WIFE who sits next to him,

completely disinterested, she opens her tic tac. OMITTED

14A 14A

INT. CAESAR’S PALACE HOUSE - LOBBY - NIGHT

15 15

A CROWD of well dressed people with their cigars and

champagne mill around the lobby. It’s beautifully lit with several graceful statues in the center. Catering waiters serve hors d'oeuvres. We reveal our two families in the middle of a conversation with fake broad smiles.

MR.BULANI

Rahul. Suna hai success ki seedi chad rahe hain tum? Toh kaam kaisa chal raha hai?

RAHUL (self-conscious)

Theek.. Theek chal raha hai sir. MR.BULANI

I like!! Modest. (beat)

Bilkul daddy ke jaise, do you like to be on tawp?

Awkwardness. Rahul looks at Mr.Kapoor who’s embarrassed too but quick covers up.

MR.KAPOOR

Obviously.. Ab Kapoor and sons ki reputation isi ne hi sambhalani hai.

MR.BULANI

Toh beta meri life ki ek philosophy yaad rakhna - “If you like to be on tawp, jump don’t hawp.”

Rahul still trying to process this nods awkwardly. MR.KAPOOR

Wah kya baat hai? (to Rahul)

Rahul ye lessons duniya ke kisi college mein nahin mil sakte, for this you have to work with the best.

MRS.KAPOOR (to Mr.Bulani)

DK.. Rahul ko ab tumhein he train karna hai.. You have to take him under your wing.

MR.BULANI Of course, Come Rahul.

MRS.BULANI

Darling would you get me a drink?

Rahul awkwardly starts to walk with him. Mrs. Bulani stays with the Kapoors. Mrs.Kapoor notices Mrs.Bulani’s shoes.

MRS.KAPOOR (to Mrs.Bulani)

I Love your shoes - Jimmy Choos.

Mr.Bulani and Rahul walk a little away from them. Mr.Bulani studies him for a beat.

MR.BULANI Ladki ka problem hai?

RAHUL Sorry sir?

MR.BULANI

Tumhari girlfriend, Jethmilani’s ki beti yahin Vegas mein rehti hai na?

RAHUL

Anusha Sir..ahh..woh toh, last year break up ho gaya.

MR.BULANI

Toh, abhi tak mood kharab hai?? RAHUL

Nahin sir aisi koi baat nahin hai. MR.BULANI

Phir tu itna sikud kyoun gaya hai. (long beat as Rahul tries

to understand him)

Bilkul tight ho gaya hai. Aise

Mr.Bulani imitates Rahul’s stiff posture. Rahul nods his head as if saying yes. Mr.Bulani steps out of frame and comes back in with two shot glasses, offers one to Rahul who nods saying no.

MR.BULANI

Dekh tujhe yoga ki zaroorat hai.

Bulani shoots down the first one and passes him the empty glass.

MR.BULANI (CONT’D) Kapalbhati!

(starts to breath in an out real obnoxiously)

Body bilkul free ho jayegi. Try kar.

A long beat. Rahul tries it but totally awkward and stiff. The Kapoors and Mrs.Bulani watch him from far not sure what he’s doing, Mrs.Bulani excuses herself. Bulani’s not

impressed--MR.BULANI

Ruk..ruk.. Yoga se tera kuch nahin hoga, you need sex! lots n lots of it!! Ye le

Bulani takes out his wallet. Rahul’s a little awkward. RAHUL

Nahin sir, it’s fine. MR.BULANI

(fetches out a visiting card from his wallet)

Dude!! - Best escort service in Vegas. Phone laga home delivery ho jaayegi.

Mrs.Bulani walks in.

MRS.BULANI What home delivery honey?

MR.BULANI

(instantly / seriously) Pizza!

Mr.Bulani quickly puts the card in Rahul’s pocket. Stuck to the card is another card which except “us” nobody notices.

MR.BULANI (CONT’D) Our boy loves pizza.

(to Rahul)

Achi jagah hai, har kism ka tawpping milta hai - italian, russian...and the best

(pause)

No topping at all (winks)

-- tawpless!!

Mr.Bulani chugs the second shot. Mrs.Bulani holds a cigarette in her hand with a filter on it. Rahul feels a bit more

comfortable with her around and takes a sip. Mr.Bulani looks up at a statue and admires it.

MR.BULANI

This is Art..Da Vinci! Gorgeous!

A beat or two and the expression on Rahul’s face changes. We REVEAL Mrs.Bulani’s slyly got her hand on Rahul’s bum.

Rahul’s not sure what to do, weird sounds come out of his system. Bulani looks at him.

MR.BULANI

Card diya to ye haal hai, phone milayega toh kya hoga.

Rahul’s sweating.

RAHUL

Sir main aapki drink refill karva deta hun.

He walks away looking for an exit. He walks faster..and

then.. suddenly runs into a waiter and..THUD.. We pan away to see the Kapoor’s - EMBARRASSED!

EXT. FRANK GEHRY - MORNING

16 16

The limo comes to a halt next to the Frank Gehry building. And on the side of the frame we see:

day

2

INT. LIMO - MORNING

17 17

All three of them are in the limo - exactly the same way we’ve seen them before. Rahul’s nose is bandaged and he has an ice pack in his hand. Mrs.Kapoor sips VOSS water and Mr.Kapoor some coffee. SILENCE.The car turns towards the airport.

EXT. VEGAS AIRPORT PARKING LOT - MORNING

18 18

They stand in the airport parking lot. Mrs.Kapoor stands next to Rahul, she PULLS OFF the bandage.

MRS.KAPOOR

--Poora laal ho gaya hai par Thank God, koi nishaan nahin aaya,

plastic surgery karani padti toh?

Rahul looks at her, he wonders one last time if he should tell her the truth.

MRS.KAPOOR Okay.. Bye.

She looks at him for a beat and then gives him an awkward hug, it lasts a beat too long.

MR.KAPOOR

Chartered flight nahin hai, chali jayegi.

MRS.KAPOOR (annoyingly smiles)

Punctuality ke liye nobel prize hota, to tumhare dad ko do teen to mil he jaate.

Mr.Kapoor steps in carrying some business magazines and newspaper.

MR.KAPOOR

Rahul, serious hone ka time aa gaya hai, Ab kaam par concentrate karna shuru karo.

(beat)

Tum jo bhi chahte the, woh sab kuch tumhein diya gaya hai. And I’m

still waiting for that GOLD!! (gives him a cold pat on

the shoulder) Have a good Christmas.

Like businessmen they shake hands, Rahul can’t gather the courage to tell them about the job.

MRS.KAPOOR

Oh, main to bhool he gayi baby, Merry Christmas.

She looks at him for a beat, Rahul thinks she understands.. MRS.KAPOOR

Get a hair cut.

Mr.Kapoor starts to walk away with the trolley. Mrs.Kapoor follows. Rahul observes his parents and realises that he wouldn’t be able to tell them about the job. He feels lost, hoping to find someone he could talk to. MUSIC SEEPS IN.

PBS-1: *A flight is mid air, the Limo drives in foreground. Rahul

19 19

sits in it all alone, confused and claustrophobic completely opposite to the Christmas atmosphere outside. He notices a family carrying a Christmas tree. The father is carrying the son on his shoulders.. Rahul’s never really shared this

moment. OMITTED

19A 1 19A 1

*In his apartment he goes through his daily routine but this

19B 19B

time it has lost the sense of purpose.. But he’s still caught up in the process - irons his socks, puts his newspaper where they are always kept and puts back the model, exactly how it was before his dad fiddled with it.

OMITTED

19C 19C

*While putting his shirt for laundry Rahul finds the Escort

19D 19D

service card Bulani had given him, it reads “Boobs-a-Licious” Escort Agency. Stuck to it is another card which reads “Dr. Ragani Shroff - Psychologist ”.

*Rahul over the phone. He has a list of prospective employers

19E 19E

stuck on his desk. He crosses “Abrams and Abrams” off the list. We notice several others are also crossed off.. except one which is “Yamamoto and Sons - 26th December”.

*He sits on the sofa contemplating.

19F 19F

EXT. VEGAS STREETS - DAY

20 20

Rahul drives his car all tensed, he swerves right and his car wipes the frame to REVEAL, a cute girl with coloured hair, riding her RAZOR SCOOTER. She wears a quirky helmet and big silver headphones. This is RIANA BRAGANZA. She looks visibly upset. She too exits. MUSIC FADES OUT as if it was playing off her headphones.

EXT. 7/11 STORE - DAY

21 21

Outside a gas station 7/11, Santa Claus rings a bell as he collects for the Salvation Army. Riana’s Razor scooter is parked next to the gate. Rahul walks in.

INT. 7/11 STORE - DAY

22 22

Rahul is browsing some shelves for his particular kind of Granola Bar as he over hears someone from the other side of the shelf talk over the phone in hindi.

RIANA

Sam ek number ka gadha hai mom! He’s an Asshole.

Curious, Rahul takes a peek notices her. RIANA (CONT’D)

--Main drama kar rahi hun?? (beat)

Mom he cheated on me!! (beat)

Aur, ab humesha ki tarah apne dost mere peeche jasoos bana kar

ghoomayega!! Just to see how miserable I am!

(beat)

I’m so over him, aur agar galti se bhi mujhe woh ya uske dost dikhe na toh I’m telling you, I’m gonna kill

them--She realises he’s looking at her. RIANA (CONT’D) (beat)

Nahin main steff se baad mein--(beat as someone else

comes on the phone) What’s up sis?

(hears her)

Steff mere paas pregnancy jeans ke paise nahin hai..ab chahe tumhari ass ka size africa jitna ho ya antartica jitna, I can’t help it.. Mom ko phone de.

RIANA (CONT’D)

Mom, I’ve decided, I’m going to see a psychologist

(beat)

A giant blue slurpee and a couple of chocolates are on the counter. Taira’s still on the phone, she picks up the slurpee and simultaneously pays the CASHIER, one coin at a time. The cashier is getting impatient.

Right behind her stands Rahul munching on a granola bar.

Every few seconds a new customer enters the store, activating the ENTRY BEEP.

Rahul joins the queue behind her. RIANA

-- No, I’m not being a drama

queen!! Saat interview de chuki hun aur ek call wapis nahin aaya.. I’m feeling low, I need to feel

normal. I need help! CASHIER (imapatiently)

--And I need Fifty cents change ma'am...

RIANA

Nahi mom, main homesick nahi feel kar rahi.

(beat and snap)

I am not PMSing !!! I wish I could talk to dad, woh ship se kab wapas aa rahein hain?

Rahul offers the cashier the 50 cent change. RAHUL

....Here.

She stops talking, looks at him and smiles. RIANA

Good.. See you all on new years. Okay

bye-(keeps the phone away from her ear)

Haan haan ... ciggerettes aur maternity jeans! I’ll try!!

(she cuts the call / to herself)

Yahan rent bharne ke paise nahin hai aur inhen maternity jeans aur cigarettes chaiye. (to Rahul) Thanks. RAHUL It’s alright. RIANA

(just to get a reaction) Aur 500 dollars milenge?

RAHUL Sorry?

RIANA Never mind

(starts to leave, turns around)

I owe you one!!

Rahul looks at her as she exits the store. EXT. VEGAS STREETS - HOTEL M - DAY

22A 22A

Rahul’s car drives away in the distance. EXT. PSYCHOLOGIST BUILDING PARKING - DAY

23 23

Rahul steps into the psychologist building. INT. LOBBY - PSYCHOLOGIST’S BUILDING.

24 24

Just as the elevator door is about to shut a hand stops the door from closing and in walks Rahul. He notices Riana

standing already in the elevator, her lips and tongue are stained blue because of the slurpee.

RIANA

Change wapas lene aaye ho? RAHUL

Nahin.. I’m just...going up.

The lift door shuts. Very SOFT MUSIC leaks through Riana’s headphones. She presses the 10th floor button labelled ‘Dr. Shroffs’ Clinic’. He doesn’t press any button.

RIANA Tum bhi

(does the lose screw action)

RAHUL Sorry?

RIANA

Psychologist ke paas ja rahe ho? RAHUL (embarrassed to admit) Nahin. RIANA Kaun sa floor? RAHUL Thirteenth.

RIANA (suspects him)

Are you sure, is building mein 13th floor nahin hai?

Embarrassed, he presses the 14th floor button and avoids eye contact. Both of them stand quietly for a few beats, then the lift door opens. Riana steps out and looks back, Rahul gives a half smile and presses the close door button. The door shuts.

INT. PSYCHOLOGISTS OFFICE - DAY

25 25

Riana walks up to the reception desk. The RECEPTIONIST is an African-American, stern looking woman. She’s decorating small X-mas trees on her desk.

RECEPTIONIST Good Morning!

RIANA

Hi, I have an appointment. RECEPTIONIST (checks her register) Ms. Riana Braganza.

RIANA Yup.

RECEPTIONIST

Mr.Rooshad, Second door to the left.

Riana heads towards the door and then takes a step back. RIANA

Sorry, just wanted to check if you charge by the hour or per session.

RECEPTIONIST

60 dollars for half an hour. RIANA

Is he that cute? INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

26 26

Rahul presses the 10th floor button. INT. PSYCHOLOGIST ROOSHAD’S ROOM -DAY

27 27

DR. ROOSHAD SHROFF is in the middle of his session with Riana. He holds a yellow pad and a pencil, tries to study her.

ROOSHAD SHROFF How can I help you?

RIANA

Job nahin hai, Savings almost khatam ho gayin hai aur main apne two timing ex boyfriend ka khoon karne wali hun, that’s me, Riana Braganza.

She smiles, he smiles back awkwardly and scribbles down her name.

INT. PSYCHOLOGIST RAGANI’S ROOM - DAY

28 28

Similar room as above. Rahul, a little uncomfortable, sits opposite DR.RAGANI SHROFF, a sophisticated lady in her 40’s.

RAHUL Rahul

Kapoor-(this hurts)

--aur parson raat ko I lost my job. DR.RAGANI SHROFF

How old are you Rahul? RAHUL

25--We intercut between the two rooms: RIANA

26.. actually teen din mein 27 ki ho jaungi.

DR. ROOSHAD SHROFF Apne baare mein thoda aur

batao--CUT TO: RAHUL

(thinks)

Ahh..Thoda akela feel karta hun.

CUT TO: RIANA

Akele rehna chahti hun. Jab se pandhrah saal ki thi tab se, ek relationship se nikli nahin ki doosre mein kood gayi. But this time, main sirf apne saath

relationship mein rehna chahti hun..

RAHUL

Ab apne saath to relationship mein nahin reh sakta, I think I’ll have to wait... you know, for the right one!

CUT TO: RIANA

6 Mr.Right ko date kar chuki hun par aaj nahin toh kal sab Mr.Wrong ban jaate hain. It’s.. It’s

(searches for a word) --irritating!

ROOSHAD SHROFF What else irritates you?

CUT TO: RAGANI SHROFF

What irritates you? RAHUL (thinks)

Irritation..Uhh.. Ek baar kisi ne galti se meri white shirt par soya sauce gira diya tha, abhi bhi jab main uske baare mein sochta hun toh mujhe gussa aata hai. I like things clean.

CUT TO: RIANA

Woh log jo sab kuch saaf suthra chahte hain.. but what about dirty minds. I hate it, jab log choti choti cheezon ke baare mein anal hote hain...you know, jaise

ki--CUT TO: RAHUL

--Main bina iron kiye socks aur underwear nahin pehn sakta..

CUT TO: ROOSHAD SHROFF

--Really, And your sex life?

RAHUL

(little embarrassed) Uhh..Next question please.

CUT TO: ROOSHAD SHROFF

Apne bachpan ke baare mein kuch batao?

RIANA

Normal tha - family get togethers, dance classes, movies, parties, outings--

CUT TO: RAHUL

--school, tuitions, art classes, golf classes, piano classes--

CUT TO: RIANA

Dance class ke alaava, sab classes bunk ki maine. I blame my dad. Thoda bahut discipline rehta agar unhone mujhe punish kiya

hota-CUT TO: RAHUL

Agar din mein teen baar brush nahin kiya toh punishment. That’s why I have good teeth.

(he opens his mouth a bit)

CUT TO: ROOSHAD SHROFF

Well, it’s been a good session. We’ve clearly done some progress.

CUT TO: RAGANI SHROFF

Bas tumhein do ya teen aur sessions ki zaroorat hai.

CUT TO: ROOSHAD SHROFF

In your spare time, why don’t you read our book?

RAGANI SHROFF --Our book.

They both hold the same book - “De-Stress in 6 Days” by The Shroff’s.

RIANA --Uhh??

(checks the clock)

-- I think main much better feel kar rahi hun.

RAHUL Thanks so much. INT. PSYCHOLOGIST OFFICE - DAY

29 29

Rahul has just finished paying and notices Riana stepping out of the room. Embarrassed that he lied earlier, he quickly heads towards the elevator. Riana walks up to the

receptionist.

RIANA

There’s still 3 more minutes, do I get some discount?

RECEPTIONIST

Have some mint, they’re free?

Riana smiles and pays the money, she looks up a sees Rahul’s reflection in a mirror, he stands next to the elevator. She walks right up to him and grabs the file and WHACKS it on the side of his face. Rahul’s completely shocked and so is the Receptionist. He quickly presses the elevator button.

RAHUL Psycho ho?

RIANA

Naam kya hai tumhara? RAHUL

Rahul--RIANA

Driving license dikhao. RAHUL

Kya?

RIANA

(WHACKS him again) Kab se peecha kar rahe ho

RAHUL --Kya

RIANA Sam kiddhar hai?

RAHUL Kaun? RIANA --That’s cute. (whacks him) RAHUL

Pagal to nahin ho, baat baat par mar rahi ho?

RIANA

Abhi file se mar rahi hoon lekin phir jasoosi karne ki koshis ki toh jootae se maroongi

RAHUL

Dekho tum.. Ahh.. Woh..ye. He can’t really come up with words..

RIANA (imitates him)

Ahh..woh..ahh.. Pehle bolna seekho

The elevator door opens, Rahul enters and then Riana steps in, scared he quickly step out.

RIANA

Aur Sam ko bolna galti se bhi mere saamne nahin aaye warna main usse aur tumhien dono ko bahut maroongi

The elevator door shuts. Rahul has no clue what just

happened. He realises the file’s gone. The receptionist looks at him with sympathy.

RECEPTIONIST

She definitely needs more sessions! (Rahul doesn’t react)

Merry x-mas! OMITTED

30 30

EXT. / INT. DOLLAR PIZZA STORE - DAY

31 31

A cheap pizza place is in the middle of a packed day..Riana walks in orders the cheapest slice and sits on a tall chair next to the window and flips through the file. The expression on her face changes from curiosity to embarrassment. Her

CASHIER One seventy five!

CUT TO: Riana’s pacing up and down the store as she speaks over the phone. The SOUND of TRAFFIC seems to drown her voice. She walks out of the store. We INTERCUT the conversation:

RIANA

I am SOO sorry..ek badi misunderstanding ho gayi..

Rahul has the phone to his ear and is amazed at how things are just not working for him.

RIANA (CONT’D)(O.C) ..Mujhe apna address de do main file drop kar deti

hun--RAHUL (tired of her ) --Nahin please. RIANA To phir--RAHUL (beat)

Ahh.. Town square mere ghar ke paas hain wahin milte hain.

RIANA Six thirty? RAHUL Sure! OMITTED 32 PT1 32 PT1

EXT. TOWN SQUARE - SANTA’S HOUSE - LATE EVENING

32 PT2 32 PT2

He waits in the Tropicana drive way in front of the statue of liberty, the roller coaster ride goes on in the background. A PIMP offers Rahul an escort agency card, Rahul looks the

other way. Riana arrives on her razor scooter and parks it next to him.

RIANA

Hi..I’m so so sorry..really I--RAHUL

fine--RIANA

--I really didn’t mean it, woh

mujhe laga ki aap mere ex-boyfriend ke dost hain aur...Bahut lambi

kahani hai. Sorry--I’m Riana.

She puts her hand forward. He takes a pause before he puts his hand forward.

RAHUL

Rahul Kapoor. Driving license dikhaun?

RIANA

I’m sorry, I really am. Merry X-mas!

RAHUL Same to you.

They hold hands for a beat longer. She’s forgotten about the file.

RAHUL Woh--?

RIANA

Oh. Haan, file. Sure. (opens her bag)

Sorry maine aapko Christmas par disturb kiya. So big plans for tonight?

RAHUL Ah... bus ghar

pe--RIANA

--What fun! Family dinner? RAHUL

Nahin..Main akela rehta hun. She hands him the file.

RIANA (smiles)

Ouch! I know exactly how that feels.

A long beat. She just looks at him, thinking. Rahul finds it awkward.

RAHUL

File ke liye, Thank you. He starts to walk away.

RIANA Uhh..Rahul.

(he turns back)

Main soch rahi thi .. Aaj christmas eve hai..aur hum..saath mein.

(straight forward)

--Do you wanna grab a drink? RAHUL

Uhh..?

RIANA

Yahin paas mein jaa sakte hain.. for a drink?

RAHUL No, Thanks.

RIANA

Listen, I’ll be honest, Mera abhi abhi breakup hua hai aur X-mas eve par akele rehna bahut depressing ho jayega. Aur tum bhi akele ho toh--?

(beat)

I’m good company, really. RAHUL

Nahin, main ghar par hi-- Yahin pass mein hai, Let me TAIRA buy you a drink.

RAHUL

Uh-- I--well--aisa hai--ki-- --I insist. Waise bhi maine TAIRA bahut bewkoofi ki hai.

Rahul gives in and starts to follow her. We see two small figures waving through the traffic.

RAHUL

Main rarely drink karta hun. RIANA

Dood piyoge?

(looks for a reaction) Sorry bad joke.

(starts to ride) Hop a ride.

RAHUL

(little scared of the tiny scooter)

No I’ll take a walk.

They walk away in the distance leaving us on the visual of the Statue of liberty with a roller coaster - WELCOME TO VEGAS!!

INT. SHADY NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT

33 33

A dingy club with a PUNK ROCK BAND PERFORMANCE. Three punkers - a girl with pink hair, a girl with a spiked mohawk, and a guy with Stevie Wonder braids and sunglasses, watch and bop their heads to the sounds of a sleazy-looking rock band. Rahul and Riana stand in a corner, crowded in with people. The club is noisy, smoky, and thick with people. Rahul’s the only one dressed inappropriately. He feels totally out of place wishing he had never come, he checks his watch. Riana finds lose change in her wallet to return him.

RIANA

(loudly to be heard over music)

Here, is se pehle main bhool jaoun, ye

tumhare--She puts the 50 cents in his pocket. Rahul finds it awkward but takes it.

RAHUL

(loudly, to be heard over the music)

Ye cheekhna kab band karenge? RIANA

(equally loud)

I know they suck! Magar 3 dollar ki beer aur free pop corn sirf yahin milte hain!!

She offers him some, they look staled. He looks back at the Band which continues to scream.

RIANA

--Ek aur acchi baat yeh hai ki tum yahan kuch bhi cheekh sakte ho, kisi ko kuch farak nahin padta.

She hands him the bottle and stands up to demonstrate.. throws her arms in the air and yells.

RIANA (CONT’D)

YOU ALL SUCKK!! Cheekna band karo gadhoonn!! Play something elseee! Stoppp!!

Two punk teenagers look at her and just bop their head and the band continues to go crazy as ever. She sits back down as if nothing happened. Rahul’s not sure if he’s in the right place, he’s never seen anyone so crazy. Rahul curses himself for agreeing.

LATER - A BEER TAP FILLS TWO MORE GLASSES. A DIFFERENT BAND ON STAGE. Taira’s already had two beer while Rahul’s on the first one.

RIANA (CONT’D) Toh tum karte kya ho?

Rahul pauses for a beat, wondering if he’s still ‘technically’ an architect?

RAHUL Architect hun.

RIANA

Oh Nice! Woh mera back up career option tha!

A beat.

RAHUL

Interior designer ho--RIANA

Nahin. Hairstylist!

(Rahul does a spit take) Vegas mein sab bade shows mein stylists ki zaroorat hoti hai. Freelancer hun.

(beat)

What a coincidence, hum dono he creative field se hain aur

unemployed bhi.

Rahul’s a bit surprised, he look at her, keeps nodding his head..

RAHUL Tumne meri file--??

RIANA

--Haan, ICSE ka exam thodi hai, tum meri pad lena.

Rahul’s not amused.

RAHUL

(signals for the bill) I think, main chalta hun.

RIANA --Kya hua...

RAHUL (he gets up) Der ho rahi hai

RIANA

RAHUL Paune dus.

A beat she smiles at him. RIANA --Tum itne

(snores loudly) kyoun ho?

A beat as Rahul tries to understand that sound. RAHUL

Main

(takes a moment and then does a mini snore)

--Nahin hun. RIANA Phir se karo.

He does it again. She’s never seen anyone like this, now for some reasons she wants to know him more..

RIANA

Wow. Tumne last time kab party ki thi?

RAHUL

(tries to keep up with her wit)

Kal--RIANA --Kis ke saath?

RAHUL Mom dad ke saath.

RIANA

Jiggy wiggy with mummy and daddy! Loosen up! You are such a tight-ass!!

She imitates him by standing stiff and drinks like him. Rahul just looks at her, unsure of how to respond. The WAITER

reaches their table with a bill. RAHUL

(looking at Riana) I’m not a tight-ass! MUSIC SEEPS IN.

PBS - 2 - ‘Title Track’ - It’s fun to be this drunk!

EXT. CHAPEL - NIGHT

35 35

MUSIC FADES OUT. PBS-2 ENDS. They walk next to a tall beautiful looking Chapel with an Elvis cut out.

RAHUL

Mujhe dekho main tumhein tight lagta hun?

RIANA

Tumhara pata nahin magar main to poori tight hun.

RAHUL

(shakes like bulani) I’m lose. No?? See.

A DRUNK COUPLE steps out of the chapel. The drunk man spots them and walks up to them.

DRUNK MAN

Hey, Could you guys please help us--RAHUL

--Could you help me first, Do you think I’m uptight, boring and

(makes the snoring sound) RIANA

Shut up.

(to the drunk man)

Yes, today’s X-mas and we would love to help you.

DRUNK MAN

That lady back there, I just met her 5 hours ago, we want to get married.. if you don’t mind could you just come in and be our eye witness?

RAHUL

Magar mujhe kuch dikh nahin raha hai.

RIANA (overlaps)

Yes, We’d love to witness your eyes. C’mon

(drags rahul) Chalo.

The Drunk Lady is actually a homeless person, she holds a placard that says “will do anything for money and food” a small DOG stands next to her.

RAHUL

RIANA

Ye bhi ghar hai, bhagvaan ka ghar. (points to the drunk man’s

hip flask)

Can I please have some of

your--He passes her the drink, she sips and then gives it to Rahul. RIANA

Thodi pee le, aankh khul jaayegi.

They all enter the chapel the dog is left outside. It barks trying to get in. Slowly their voices fade away.

MOMENTS LATER

35A 35A

RAHUL (V.O.)

Vegas bhi ajeeb si jagah hai, yahan kisi bhi samay, kisi bhi haalat mein, jis se chahe shaadi karna allowed hai!

(beat)

Aur yahan aksar bevde log pee pakar shaadi kar lete hain.

(clears his throat) Bilkul humari tarah!!

BANG - the door opens again - The four of them come out, Rahul taking support on Riana’s shoulder. One shoe missing and a just married balloon tied to his pant loop. Riana’s barefoot, holding the bouquet. The drunk couple thank them, Rahul and Riana both take a second then suddenly turn away and run off screen and only the PUKING SOUND can be heard. The clock on the Chapel strikes 00:00 And on the visual of the beautiful chapel with an Elvis cut out shaking his legs appears:

day

3

Santa Gave Me a Gift

FADE IN: INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING

36 36

The Morning after. “Just Married Balloon is floating in the air, still tied to Rahul’s pant loop. The suns flares in through the window. Rahul’s feet are hanging outside his blanket, both shoes still on, next to his feet are Riana’s feet with only ONE shoe on. He takes a moment to figure things out and then slowly he notices the balloon floating above him. He pulls it down to read “Just Married”.

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - LOBBY - MORNING

36A 36A

The elevator doors open and out comes Rahul holding the just married balloon. He SCREAMS loudly like a mad man, as passer byes look at him, a dog BARKS in the background.

OMITTED

37 37

OMITTED

38 38

INT. AMERICAN DINER - DAY

39 39

Water is poured into a glass. Rahul sits in a standard

breakfast cafe with his head in his hands. A jukebox PLAYS on the side.

RAHUL

Dekho ro mat please, sab dekh

rahein hai. Hum ye shaadi annul kar sakte hai. Britney Spears ne bhi ki thi.

He’s preparing his speech. The WAITERS and GUESTS look at him.

RAHUL (CONT’D)

Nahin Nahin..Annulment aur divorce mein bahut farak hai. Annulment matlab humari shaadi galti se ho gayi aur hum use legally cancel kar sakte hain. Jaise ki kabhi kuch hua he nahin..

He gulps down the glass of water... It’s the third glass on the table.

RAHUL (to the waiter) Water please!

Riana walks in, she’s hungover and wears Rahul’s oversized chappals. She holds the marriage certificate in one hand and the note in the other. She walks up to him.

OMITTED

40 40

INT. AMERICAN DINER - DAY

41 41

He’s re-arranging everything on the table so every article is parallel to the next.

RIANA (casually)

Ise annul karana padega!

Rahul looks at her stunned. She sits down calmly. RIANA

Daro mat, annulment aur divorce mein bahut farak hai. Brtney spears ne bhi

ki--RAHUL --Pata hai mujhe.

RIANA Good.

(to the waitress)

Number 3 with a blueberry shake please.

CUT TO: Rahul eats his regular breakfast while she’s busy finishing her pancake and sipping her blueberry shake.

RIANA To kal

to--(getting talli action)

Jyaada hi josh mein aa gaye the. RAHUL

Main? Tumhara matlab hum? RIANA

Main to humesha hi josh mein hoti hun, par tum toh...

(beat)

..Josh ke chakkar mein pata nahin scooter kahan chod diya, ab police report karani padegi.

(takes another bite) Chaar din mein ho sakta hai?

RAHUL Kya?

RIANA Baccha!

(notices Rahul’s reaction) Annulment aur kya!

RAHUL

Kyoun, chaar din mein doosri shaadi hai?

RIANA

Nahin, mujhe new years ke liye India jaana hai.

Rahul can’t believe her priorities. RAHUL

(does the weighing action with his hands)

Apni family ke saath new years party, ya kisi stranger ke saath jindagi bhar shaadishuda rehna. Priortize!!

RIANA

(re:marriage certificate) Ek suggestion dun.. Ise faad dein toh?? It’ll be our secret.

RAHUL

Ghar ghar khel rahein hain? (beat)

Legal shaadi hai aur main ise leagally annul karna chahta hun. Chalein?

An OLD WAITRESS walks up to them with two different bills. Riana being Riana can’t let go off a situation like this:

RIANA (with a smile)

My husband will take care of it.

The Waitress knows the whole story by now, she smiles, she’s seen many such cases before.. Hundreds of them!!

WAITRESS More Water?

Pissed off, Rahul hands out his debt card. The Waitress smiles.

EXT. AMERICAN DINER - DAY

42 42

As they walk out Rahul looks at Riana wearing his chappals and the outfit from the night before with a take away milk shake in her hand. She squints because of the bright sun as they walk towards the car.

RIANA

(feeling hungover / touches her forehead)

Ouch... yeh hangover..Tum theek feel kar rahe ho?

RAHUL

(cursing his bad luck)

Shaayad raat tak zinda rahoonga!

EXT. CAR (BOULDER CITY) - DAY

43 43

The car looks small against the vast landscape of Vegas. INT. CAR (BOULDER CITY) - DAY

44 44

Riana is sipping on the last bit of the shake making an annoying sound. Rahul doesn’t like it.

RIANA (genuinely) I’m sorry.

Rahul thinks she’s realized but she blows into her shake. RIANA (CONT’D)

Mujhe kal tumhein force nahin karna chaiye tha. Kabhi Kabhi bahut

stupidly behave karti hun. (does it again)

I wish jab main koi galti karun toh koi mujhe usi waqt tok de.

She’s about to blow in it again--RAHUL

Milk shake mein Bud bud karna band karo bahut irritating hai.

RIANA (stops) Exactly. Thanks.

Some silent beats as they drive. Suddenly she feels something in her mouth, realizes it’s a cherry seed and spits it out. It sticks to the shut window glass.

RIANA (CONT’D)

Oops!! Window upar karne se pehle batana tha na!

RAHUL

Acha, ab ye bhi meri galti hai! RIANA

Window to toh tumne hi upar ki thi na?

RAHUL (CONT’D)

Tumhari problem kya hai? Humesha aisa kyun feel karati ho ki galti meri hai.

(hands her the tissue box) Saaf karo ise.

(pause)

Stupidly behave karne ke alava hazaar aur problems hain tumhein.

Mujhse nahi, psychologist se shaadi karni thi, you need help.

A beat as she ponders. RIANA

I need help?? Apne aap ko dekha hai - Aunty ki tarah gaadi chalate ho, mummy ki tarah khana khaate ho - you’re gay - frock khareed lo apne liye, paise main de doongi. Take a right please.

He takes a sharp right turn. RAHUL

-Oh ho - Mrs. Laxmi Mittal!! Kal raat se paise tum hi to de rahi ho-- 7/11 ke 50 cents, raat ka alcohol bill, abhi breakfast ka bill

(sarcastically) --frock khareedogi??

RIANA

--Gaadi roko. Roko. Stop the car now!

RAHUL

Throw a tantrum now, go on, Aur kuch nahin mila toh tantrum he sahi.

RIANA

I’m not throwing a tantrum, mera ghar aa gaya hai.

The car comes to a SCREECHING halt. She gets out of the car and bends down to speak to him.

RIANA

Next time paise pukka lauta doongi, and by the way, 50 cents main

tumhein wapas de chuki hun, tumhari memory thodi weak hai.

RAHUL

Correct, tumhari jubaan jitni tezz nahin hai.

RIANA (sarcastically)

Thanks for the compliment, was nice knowing you. Bus bata dena ki

annulment papers kab aur kahan sign karne hain.

RAHUL

Trust me I can’t wait.

He reverses the car. Riana raises her hand and shows him the finger. MUSIC SEEPS IN

MONTAGE: *Riana’S HOUSE - Riana walks up to her house but there’s a

45 45

huge gaffer tape on the lock. Her nightmare has come true. She looks up, her LANDLADY, a short Jewish woman, stands in the balcony above with her HUSBAND who smokes a pipe.She walks closer to them.

RIANA Hey guys c’mon!!

LANDLADY No rent, No house!! RIANA (pleadingly) Please!! CAR WIPE: OMITTED 45A 45A OMITTED 45B 45B

*BOULDER CITY - She stands in front of a mural wall. (DAY)

45B 1 45B 1

RIANA

Mom, Please daantna mat, I need help!

CAR WIPE: *ATM - Riana stand outside an ATM (DAY)

45C 45C

RIANA

Aap kab tak money transfer kar sakte ho.. Kal tak? Dad se contact hua?

CAR WIPE: *PAWN STORE - she stands outside the store. (EVE)

45D 45D

RIANA

Pawn shop per jo bhi girvi rakh sakti thi rakh diya, par abhi bhi 400 dollars kum hai.

*HOTEL - Riana stands outside a cheap motel. (LATE EVE)

RIANA

Christmas ke wajah se sab budget hotels booked hain. Don’t cry maa!!

CAR WIPE: *GRAND HOTEL - A small figure stands silhouetted against a

45F PT1 45F PT1

huge structure. (NIGHT) RIANA

Maa don’t worry.. Mujhe rehne ke liye ek jagah mil gayi hai..

CAR WIPE: She walks in, across the lobby area, a FEMALE STAFF MEMBER

45F PT2 45F PT2

tries to help her.(NIGHT)

STAFF MEMBER Can I help you?

INTERCUT - RAHUL’S APARTMENT LOBBY- NIGHT

45G 1 45G 1

SECURITY GUY 1 Excuse me sir!

Rahul turns around to look at him. SECURITY GUY 1

Could you help us with this, we found it in the parking this morning.

He points out the Razor scooter. Rahul curses himself for having ever met Riana.

*GRAND HOTEL - RESTROOM - All her luggage cramped around her

45F PT3 45F PT3

in a restroom cubicle. She sits on the toilet seat. Her phone rings. The conversation is INTERCUT between the two.

RAHUL

Tumhara scooter aur ek joota

security guard ko lobby mein mila. RIANA

Thank god!! RAHUL

Please use kal subaha aake le jao aur aaogi toh lawyer se appointment ke liye kuch papers bhi sign kar jana.

RIANA Perfect!!

EXT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

45G 2 45G 2

Establishing shot.

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - CORRDIOR - NIGHT

45H 45H

Riana walks down a long corridor and stops outside the apartment. She rings the bell. Waits for a long time but nobody answers, she turns around, just

then--INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - CORRIDOR - NIGHT

46 46

Rahul opens the door with the safety chain on, looks at Riana, unsure of what’s going on. Still rather groggy, they chat through the chained door.

RIANA

Hi. Mere paas tumhare liye ek business proposition hai?

RAHUL Subaha ke teen baje?

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

47 47

Rahul looks completely zapped. Riana stands next to the razor scooter, demonstrating it’s advantages to Rahul.

RIANA

(salesperson like)

It’s light weight, heavy duty. Great mileage, Eco friendly, only for $399.

RAHUL

Nahin chaiye mujhe tumhara scooter. Ab please time mat waste karo, aur kuch aur socho.

RIANA

Kya sochun? Dad ship pe kaam karte hain, kahin mid sea hain. Mom ko wire transfer karne main kam se kam 12 ghante lageinge..Sasta hotel khali nahin hai, jo kuch pawn shop par de sakti thi de diya. Ab kya aasman se paise tapkaun.

RAHUL

--Return ticket prepone kar lo? RIANA

(sighs)

Mera kal job interview hai--(gives up)

Let it be, meri problem hai main khud sambhal lungi

(starts to walk out)

raste pe reh loongi, bheekh mang loongi..

(getting carried away)

Push come to shove, apne aap ko (stops)

Madat ke liye Thank you.

She steps out and is about to shut the door. RAHUL

Suno..

(she turns around)

..Aaj raat ke liye tum yahan reh jao, kal shaam jab tumhare pasie transfer aa jayein

toh--RIANA --Are you sure?

Rahul still unsure but nods yes. He walks upto the futon and pulls it out.

RIANA

Please don’t be silly... tum bedroom mein so jao.

RAHUL

(matter-of-fact) Yeh tumhare liye hai.

Riana feels embarrassed sits quietly on the couch. EXT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - MORNING

48 48

Nice graphic frame of the apartment building:

day

4

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - MORNING

48A 48A

Riana turns the shower knob to the side showers, steps out, wipes the foggy cabinet mirror and exits. Rahul enters the washroom and turns on the shower but instead of the head shower it sprays from the side. He doesn’t like surprises, gets irritated.

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - DINING - MORNING

49 49

Rahul fills a glass of water and sits at the kitchen counter for breakfast. Riana sits opposite him eating some bananas and cereal. She is about to put the banana peel down on the table..

RAHUL Don’t!

RIANA Exactly! Thanks!

She gets up and goes over to the bin to throw it. RIANA

Tumhara interview kitne baje hai? RAHUL

Bas abhi. If you don’t mind, kya tum apne interview ke baad ye

annulment papers city hall par drop kar sakti ho? Main shaayad late ho jaun.

RIANA

Uhh..Sure.. bus mujhe woh pawn shop jaana tha.

She throws the banana peel in the bin. RAHUL

(places the documents on the table)

Main city hall se tumhein pick kar sakta hun, phir pawn shop se

tumhara saaman bhi wapas le sakte hain.

RIANA

Sounds good.. By the way, kal raat mujhe couch par ye visiting card mila.

(reads it)

Boobs - a - Licious Escort Agency. Satisfaction Guaranteed.

Rahul is expressionless, he’s bad with covering up.. He opens his mouth and shuts it again..

RAHUL

Main free ho kar phone karta hun. (takes his briefcase and

phone) Got to rush. He starts to walk away.

RIANA

Interview ke liye good luck. RAHUL

(almost trips and falls) You too.

She does the fingers crossed action. All embarrassed, he leaves.

EXT. WORLD MARKET CENTRE - DAY

50 50

Big and small cars drive in and out, there’s a lot of hustle bustle and everyone is dressed in formal work clothes. Rahul walks into a huge building looking small and vulnerable.

INT. WORLD MARKET CENTRE - RECEPTION - DAY

51 51

A huge reception. Phones RINGING. A few Japanese men are in the midst of a discussion. Rahul sits in the waiting area in a suit, alone. Dry throat, he holds onto his briefcase to steady himself. A middle aged JAPANESE ASSISTANT steps out and calls him in. He clears his throat.

INT. YAMAMOTO OFFICE - DAY

52 52

Two silver name plate on a huge table, which reads

MR.YAMAMOTO & MR.MIYAZAKI. Rahul sits considerably away

looking small and isolated. MR.YAMAMOTO & MR.MIYAZAKI look at the resume, talk to each other for a bit and the look at the Translator.

MR.YAMAMOTO Mistel Lahul Kapul?

RAHUL Uh.. Rahul Kapoor

Yamammoto looks at the translator. TRANSLATOR Light, Laahul Kapool.

Rahul knows there’s no point in explaining it, just smiles. The two bosses get busy discussing the resume in Japanese.

They speak for a while and then Mr.Yamammoto gets up and

walks towards Rahul. He delivers a slightly longer speech and shakes hands with Rahul with great enthusiasm..

MR.YAMAMOTO

(heavy Japanese accent) LONG JAPANESE DIALOGUE and then Arrigato Mistel Lahul.!!

Rahul thinks he’s got the job. The boss looks at the

translator, who translates but it is only a short sentence now.

TRANSLATOR

He says thank you but not possible. Sorry.

Rahul wonders what she's leaving out, or if that's the way it works from Japanese to English.

RAHUL

Didn’t he say something more?

The Translator translates this to the Japanese Boss again as a slightly long sentence to which The Boss replies back.

TRANSLATOR (to Rahul)

And he says good luck.

Rahul looks at the translator - confused and shattered at the same time.

I/E. CAR - LAWYER’S BUILDING - DAY

53 53

We stay with Rahul for a few moments and then from inside the car, we see Riana standing on the curb outside the Lawyer’s building. Rahul pulls over next to her. There’s a smile on her face that tells us that her interview has gone well. She hops in. The Drunk Couple who they helped get married walks into the building.

INT. CAR - MOMENTS LATER

54 54

Rahul has just told Riana about the interview. Riana feels bad for him.

RIANA

..I’m really sorry about your interview.

RAHUL (dejected)

Don’t be, Tumhari kya galti hai. Tumhara interview kaisa tha?

RIANA

(controls her excitement)

Alrite. Do teen din mein call back kareinge shaayad.

(beat)

Listen, mujhe ek jagah pata hai jahan tum definitely better feel karoge.

(re-thinks)

Or actually let it be, mom ne abhi abhi wire transfer kiya hai aur main befkoofon ki tarah phir se kharch kar doongi. Pawn shop jaa kar mera saaman wapas le lete hain.

RAHUL Kahan?

RIANA

‘Big pawn’ - pendor aur seymour par.

RAHUL

Nahin, I meant, kaun si jagah hai jahan main better feel karunga?

(beat / look exchange) I’m paying.

RIANA (beat)

Aage se left.

He steers left. The car drives away. RAHUL

Kahin phir se us shady night club toh nahin jaa rahe?

RIANA

Nahin baba..Just wait and see! INT. JAPANESE SPA - MASSAGE ROOM - DAY

55 55

Two Japanese masseur dressed identically work on Rahul and Riana’s backs. Rahul looks confused, Riana relaxed. A

Japanese track PLAYS in the background. RAHUL

Hum ye kya kar rahe hain?? RIANA

It’s pay back time. Japanese ne tumhein job nahin diya to humne unhein apna naukar bana liya.

(to the masseur) Dhang se kar yar.

Rahul finds it amusing. He chuckles. RAHUL

Main huns kyoun raha hun, mujhe khud maloom nahin hai. It’s not funny, I’m unemployed!!

RIANA

Kyoun, serious shakal banane se naukri wapas mil jayegi?

Rahul likes the thought. Some silent beats. RAHUL

By the way, main soch raha tha ki, agar sirf do-teen din ki baat hai toh tum ghar pe reh sakti ho.

Riana just looks at him for a beat. Thinks. RIANA

It’s so true (pause)

Pati parmeshwar hota hai. Such wise words!

RAHUL

Woh secretary sahi keh rahi thi .. You definitely need more sessions. INT. JAPANESE SPA - CORRIDOR - DAY

56 56

They walk towards the pool. RIANA

Pata nahi kya hua tha ki

psychologist ke paas chali gayi. Breakups toh hamesha hi bure hote hai par psychologist unhe mahenga bhi bana dete hai.

They both walk across a glass door that says - POOL RAHUL

--Specially, pehla break up, nahin? Rona dhona, depressing gaane sunna, blank calls, haat katna. OOf.

RIANA

(slightly theatrical)

Oh, toh aap bhi gam se guzar chukhe hain? Tell me about it.

INT. POOL - MOMENTS LATER

57 57

They both are in the pool but just chilling by the deep end, she tries to convince him.

RIANA

C’mon.. Please. I thought we were friends...

Rahul, amused, gives in. RAHUL ..okay toh,

(he knows this is going to be embarassing)

Humein shayad date karte huye ek saal hua tha par phir bhi mujhe sirf haat pakdna allowed tha.. woh bhi madame ke mood pe depend that

RIANA

(does the squeezing action)

So you didn’t ever ----RAHUL

(smiles)

Nope. Anyway, toh uska birthday

tha-Their conversation now overlaps as we break into a flashback. I/E. FLASHBACK - FARM PARTY - NIGHT

58 58

day

-3452

‘The Titanic’

A audio cassette is put into a player and the music ‘Boogie Shoes’ starts to pump out of the speakers. It’s a high school weekend home party. Kids try to behave like adults -

cigarettes, beer bottles, baggy jeans and girl friends. Rahul (late teens) is holding a small gift box for NIKITA, his

beautiful 16 year old, so called girlfriend, who opens it to see a beautiful bracelet with hearts hanging from it, she smiles at him. He knows this is the girl he’ll spend the rest of his life with.

Rahul leans in for a kiss, she gently pushes him away and looks across the room at a tall HANDSOME GUY, HARSH, 17 who holds a drink in his hand and smiles flirtatiously at her.

NIKITA

Ek drink le aao na please. TEENAGE RAHUL

Promise you’ll kiss me after that.

She smiles, he happily to the bar. As the BARTENDER makes his drink he takes a miniature aftershave from his pocket and puts it on himself and then slyly adds a little extra vodka in the drink and walks back. He returns with a martini only to find that she’s not there. He tries looking for her

1) Stands on a tall stool to look over the crowd. 2) In the washroom

3) Under the table where there’s a couple making out who shoo him away.

4) He walks out to the parking area still carrying the glass. His eyes turn towards a 1997 Merc, which is shaking slowly. The expression on his face changes. A hand comes up on the window titanic style wearing the same bracelet he gifted her. He stands there stunned and then sips Martini through the umbrella straw.

INT. POOL - LATE EVENING

59 59

Back in the pool, Riana can’t believe it and Rahul’s re-living that moment.

RIANA

Ohhh...usne tumhari sahi..

She does the “waat laga di action” and makes an odd sound. Rahul gestures ‘tell me about it’!!

RIANA (laughs)

So, Last kise date kiya tha? RAHUL

Mera interview le rahi ho? RIANA

(teasingly)

Nahin tumhara gum baat rahi hun..C’mon.

RAHUL

Family friend thi - Anusha, yahin Vegas me rehti hai.

RIANA Toh--?? RAHUL Toh kya--?? RIANA Baaki ki kahani?? RAHUL

Ahhh.. 2-3 date ke baad uska phone aana band ho gaya..

RIANA Kyoun??

RAHUL (thinks)

Shaayad I wasn’t good enough!!

Rahul dips his head in the water and blows bubbles, Riana thinks for a beat.

EXT. RAHUL’S BUILDING- LATE EVENING

60 60

They both are entering the building with Riana’s stuff which she had given at the pawn shop.

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - LOBBY - NIGHT

61 61

They stand next to the elevator with their reflections in the door.

RIANA

Mujhe tumhari problem samajh mein aa rahi hai?

RAHUL

(with a sigh of exasperation)

Oh really pehle bataana tha main psychologist ke paas jaata hi nahin!

RIANA

(finding the right words) --Tum mein woh josh nahi hai.

RAHUL Meri maa..

(joins his hand)

..Last time josh dikhaya tha to tumse shaadi ho gayi thi..

RIANA

Don’t be stupid, woh josh nahi Alcohol tha!

They enter the elevator.

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT CORRIDOR - MOMENTS LATER

62 62

The elevator door opens. They walk through the corridor towards Rahul’s apartment.

RIANA

Tumhein bus phir se kisi ko date karne ki zaroorat hai.

RAHUL

Wah! Kya solution hai! RIANA

Trust me, tumhari self esteem bahut hi low hai aur ladki pataane se zyaada ego boost kisi aur kaam mein nahi milta. Call Anusha.

As Rahul turns the key to open the apartment door RAHUL

Main tumhein ignore kar raha hoon RIANA

Magar dinner par use poori attention dena, khaana kam aur sunna jyaada. Compliments dete rehna aur wine pilate rehna. They both enter the apartment.

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN / DINING - NIGHT

63 63

They’ve both changed into their night clothes and eating dinner from their take away boxes.

RAHUL --Fork.

RIANA

(taps him on the hand)

Here... Aur kyounki tum ne mujhe yahan rehne diya, I’ll tell you a special trick. Apni gaadi mat leke jaana, har ladki ko kabhi na kabhi apne boyfriend ko ghar chodna acha lagta hai.

(making it sound more interesting)

..And phir tum wohi kar sakte ho jo tumhari ex girlfriend ne tumhari car mein kiya tha.

She does the same titanic move. Rahul continues to eat unamused.

RIANA Sun Rahe ho?

RAHUL Nahin!

RIANA

Tum phone kar rahe ho?? RAHUL

(stern) Not a chance.

She looks at him, he looks back at her. Long silent beat. MUSIC SEEPS IN.

INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - BATHROOM

64 64

Rahul bends down and puts his ear on the receiver. He’s a bit nervous. RAHUL Hello!! CUT TO:

day

5

EXT. VEGAS - SPRING MT. HIGHWAY - CAB - NIGHT

65 65

A yellow cab drives in front of the Vegas skyline. Rahul is seated at the back. He is dressed in the same outfit that Riana chose, he adjusts his jacket.

EXT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT

66 66

Christmas celebration are all around. Rahul walks into a fancy restaurant.

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

67 67

A waiter carries an expensive wine bottle to the table, he offers Rahul to taste it but Rahul points towards Anusha. She’s pretty, in her mid twenties,looks sophisticated and proper. She gives her go ahead, the waiter pours the wine and leaves. A few silent beats, she breaks the silence.

ANUSHA So?

RAHUL

(not sure of where to start)

So??

The conversation doesn’t go anywhere, Silence. ANUSHA

Tum theek to ho na? RAHUL

(uncomfortable smile) Haan.

A beat.

ANUSHA

-Yeh ek dum se dinner ka plan? Koi zaroori

baat--RAHUL

(opens his mouth to say haan, but--)

--Nahin, Bas aise hi.

Silence for a few beats, Anusha breaks it again ANUSHA

Mom ne bataya ki tumhare parents town mein

the--RAHUL

--Haan, woh actually dad ki meeting

aur--(abruptly)

--You look very hot tonight. (being himself again) I’m sorry. So

ANUSHA

Thank you for the compliment by the way.

(flirtatious beat)

I’ve been working very hard at it. RAHUL

Another long silence beat. ANUSHA

I’m glad tumne notice kiya!

Some looks exchanged and then she unties her hair. ANUSHA

Tumhein khule baal jyada pasand hai na?

The trick is working and Rahul goes with the flow trying to hide his discomfort.

RAHUL

(pours her some wine) More wine?

ANUSHA

Tum bhool rahe ho ki wine se mujhe kya hota hai? You know, it’s an aphrodisiac.

(Rahul is nervous he pours in a bit too much)

Aur mujhe waise bhi kal office jaana hai.

RAHUL

Kaam ke alava kaafi kuch hai karne ke liye.

He’s getting better by the minute, Anusha’s impressed. ANUSHA

Toh is Rahul ko kahan chupa rakha tha?

RAHUL

Well, agar hum parents ke through nahin mile hote toh tum mujhe acchi tarah jaan pati.

ANUSHA Same here.

(takes her shrug off) To aur kya kya nahin

jaanti--RAHUL Ahhh...kaafi

kuch--ANUSHA Jaise ki

kya--He feels something on his foot and makes a weird sound. ANUSHA

(flirting) Mera paer

hai--RAHUL

(trying to behave in control)

--I know, I know. ANUSHA

Kya nahin jaanti main tumhare baare main..

(Rahul’s wondering, she cuts to the point)

--Are you wild? The temperature is rising.

RAHUL Oh ya...I’m wild!

ANUSHA Kitne wild ho??

RAHUL

Ab sher se kya poochna ki kahan kahan shikaar kiya

hai--(fake uncomfortable laugh) ANUSHA

--Plane pe kabhi kiya hai? RAHUL

Uhh..Woh bathroom kafi chote hote hain

na--ANUSHA

--Blanket to bada manga sakte ho!!

He just nods his head weirdly as if he’s gonna try next time. ANUSHA

Aur bathroom mein? RAHUL

Obviously. Itni baar ki mujhe yaad bhi

nahin--Abruptly she gets up, Rahul has no idea what happened. RAHUL

Kya hua?

ANUSHA

--Main bathroom jaa rahi hun. RAHUL

(not getting the point) Okay.

ANUSHA

(spelling it out)

Rahul, I. AM. GOING. To. THE. BATHROOM.

She leaves. Rahul’s never been so uncomfortable, he drinks the leftover wine.

CUT TO: Nervously he walks through the crowd into a corridor leading

67A 67A

to the powder room.

INT. RESTAURANT BATHROOM - NIGHT

68 68

He enters but no one’s there. A row of cubicles. Suddenly a cubicle opens and drags him in and the vacant sign turns to occupied. We stay out for a moment.

INT. BATHROOM CUBICLE - NIGHT

69 69

His face is almost red but he’s doing his best to look sane. Anusha pushes him back against the door.

ANUSHA (seductively) Hi!!

RAHUL

(formal, adjusts his suit) Hello!

ANUSHA Toh kya karna hai?

RAHUL (beat)

Uhh.. Pehle khana kha lete, khana thanda ho raha hai.

ANUSHA

(starts to take off his jacket)

I hope, sense of humor ke alava baki sab kuch bhi improve hua hai.

RAHUL Haan, definitely.

The cubicle is too small for Rahul’s comfort, he tries to find a corner.

ANUSHA

(with experience) Ek kaam karo is taraf aao.

They swap positions in a small cubicle, Rahul tries to be comfortable.

ANUSHA Betho.

(he starts to sit) Seat toh bandh karo.

He shuts it. She walks up to him just then...a KNOCK on the door. Anusha tells him to keep quiet.

ANUSHA (loud) What? MAN OUTSIDE (immediately) Sorry.

She tries to get her focus back but Rahul’s sweating

profusely--RAHUL Mujh se nahin hoga.

ANUSHA Kya.

RAHUL

Mujhe bahar jaana hai. ANUSHA

Oh, you wanna play shy with me?

She tries to open his top two buttons. He’s still sitting on the pot.

RAHUL Anusha

please--She doesn’t let him, Rahul’s unsure of how to get out of here. He picks up the bum shower.

RAHUL Please!!

She thinks he’s joking, she takes a step forward, nervous as he is, he presses the shower by mistake. OOPS!!

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

70 70

Rahul steps out of the bathroom, dripping wet. He picks up a napkin and walks across the dining area trying his best to look dignified. People turn around and look at him.

RAHUL (O.S.) Hello!!

OMITTED

71 71

EXT. VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT

72 72

We tilt down to Rahul’s prius. Riana is driving Rahul’s car and Rahul’s on the passenger seat still wet. A quiet beat. She’s a bit scared, knows something’s gone horribly wrong.

RIANA Tum geele kyoun ho?

RAHUL

Rain dance par gaya tha. Problem hai??

(Riana scared - nods no)

--Aur tumhari seat belt kahan hai? RIANA

(stammers)

Woh mujhe thodi uncomfortable lagti

hai--RAHUL

Jab khidki se udti hui bahar jaogi na toh woh bhi bahut comfortable nahin hoga.

Scared she fixes it. A beat. RIANA

(she wants to know more) Toh..

(beat)

...dinner mein kya khaya..? RAHUL

(to himself) --6 litre paani. Riana gives him a look.

RIANA

Bhook lagi hai toh, yahin pass mein mujhe ek jagah pata hai.

EXT. VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT

73 73

The car drives through beautiful landscape. EXT. DRIVE-IN RESTAURANT - NIGHT

74 74

Isolated drive-in restaurant. The car is parked in the middle of two cars and airplanes go over their heads every now and then. Rahul’s just finished the story, Riana’s laughing. She’s got the most carefree laugh ever.

RIANA

Agar phone pe bol dete toh saath mein towel le aati.

He gives her an angry look.. RAHUL

--Ek dum rubbish plan tha, do me a favor

(puts his hands together)

aaj ke baad apni ghatiya advise mat dena please.

RIANA

Maine tumhein date pe jaane ko bola tha, mujhe thodi pata tha woh

tumhein nehlaane le jayegi. She laughs out loud once again..

RAHUL

I hate her..Meri top 10 most hated logon ki list mein..

(change of thought)

Aur tum Besharam, Kam se kam sorry to bolo.

RIANA Okay..Sorry..

(beat)

Aur tum chaho toh mujhe birthday wish kar sakte ho.

She points at her watch. A beat. RAHUL

Aaj? Riana nods.

RAHUL Happy B’day.

There’s an awkward moment as Rahul puts his hand forward to shake hands but Riana comes in for a peck on the cheek but then she holds herself back. A plane goes by. A sweet moment. They both for the first time feel like good friends.

RAHUL

Chalein.. And please apni seat belt pehan lo.

RIANA

Okay oaky.. Cranky pants.

She moves the car forward and gets smaller as it drives away into the huge vegas highway but they can still be heard.

RIANA

Toh mera birthday gift kya hai? RAHUL

Ye geele kapde, jinhen tum kal saaf karogi.

RIANA

Acha chalo, I’ll make it up to you, main he kuch de doongi.

RAHUL Acha!! Kya?

RIANA

Soch rahi hun ek bathroom jet de deti hun.

RAHUL Funny!! Funny!!

We tilt up to the sky where we see:

day

6

‘Cheap Date’ SOUND OF SCISSORS - HAIR BEING CHOPPED.

FADE IN: INT. RAHUL’S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - DAY

75 75

Rahul is in the middle of a hair cut with clips parting his hair. He looks like a school boy sitting upright in front of the mirror. The RADIO PLAYS in the background.

RIANA (O.S.)

Tum hamesha se hi architect banna chahte the?