BY
Gen 2:18 God said “It is
not good
for man to
be alone. I will make a helper for
suitable
for
him.
Human beings are social being s by nature.
Intrapersonal: Existing or occurring within the
individual self or mind.es to make a whole?
It involves how each person relates with the
different parts of the self.
Gestalt –The sum total of the parts is not equals to
the whole. Eg a broken glass-can you join the
pieces to make a whole glass?
When our lives are fragmented or we are not at
What is your personal awareness of yourself? This makes up your self-concept
(The way you conceive yourself).
It is a system of central ,meanings that an individual has concerning himself and
his relations to the world around him. ( the indvidual’s evaluation of self.
The self –concept is largely expressed in a person’s Self-esteem. (self-worth, the
value one places on themselves. It can be high or low)
The way you conceive yourself determines the way you relate with yourself e.g the
way you present yourself, dress, walk, talk, your expressions, behaviour and the way you relate with others.
Eg. Ever passed a person and they asked you kwa nini unaniangalia? Unaangalia
Has four core elements
Self-image- the way an indvidual perceives himself
Ideal self-the way one would most like to be
Self-esteem-the evaluation of one’s self worth
Body image-the way one thinks his/her body
looks like.
TASK
Draw a circle, divide it into four portions ie your
All the four parts are of equal importance
If the four elements interact harmoniously, and
are firmly established in an individual; the
person is said to be WELL ADJUSTED, HAPPY
AND FULFILLED.
If not interacting harmoniously, the indvidual
POSITIVE INDICATORS
NEGATIVE INDICATORS
Gives directives or
commands
Uses voice quality
appropriate for situation
Expresses opinions
Sits with others during
social activities
Works in group
cooperatively
Puts down others teasing ,
name-calling or gossiping
Uses gestures that are
dramatic or out of context
Engages in appropriate
touching or avoids
physical contact
Gives excuses for failures
Glances around to monitor
POSITIVE INDICATORS
NEGATIVE INDICATORS
Faces others when
speaking or being spoken
Maintains eye contact
during conversation
Initiates friendly contact
with others
Maintains eye contact
with others
Little hesitation in speech,
speaks fluently
Brags excessively about
achievements, skills,
appearance
.Verbally puts self down
Speaks too loudly,
abruptly or in a
dogmatic tone
Does not express views
or opinions, especially
when asked
Assumes a submissive
Vertical relationships- with authority figures, relationship with
God
Relationship with God
Love him with all your heart, with all your mind and strength Serve him
Relationship woth parents /other parental figures
Exodus 20;12 “ Honour your father and mother, so that you may
live long in the land the Lord God is giving you.
No matter what they have or have not done to you!
Other authorities
Horizontal relationships-same level relationships
All relationships require efforts/work to grow.
Relationships cannot maintain themselves
There are
four basic types of relationships
that
encompass all of these situations
1.
Family relationships 3. Casual relationships
The family is a domestic group of people with some
degree of kinship – whether through blood, marriage,
or adoption.
Family members are probably the people closest to
you
One spends the most time.
Having healthy relationships with one’s family
members is both important and difficult
.
Many times
families become blocked in their
relationships by hurt, anger, mistrust, and
confusion
.
However, families can be sources of lifelong strength for all
individuals.
It is never too late to begin the process of improving family
relationships
argument or issue arises, it may seem impossible to handle.
Ways to improve family relationships
Communication is the key to resolving conflict. Use your
family's presence to your advantage
–
communicate with
each other
,
Develop ways to value boundaries
Build trust and respect
Everyone needs friends.
A friend is a person you know well and regard with
affection, trust and respect.
Making and keeping friends can be tough if one is shy
or unsure of themselves.
Ways to make new friends
;
be involved in activities at school and in the
community where there are other people your age.
Be friendly and helpful to other people.
Talk to people, get to know them, and find out if you
If someone is vulnerable to peer pressure in friendships,
the relationship is not balanced.
NB//
you have the right and duty to stand up for what you
believe is right.
Express yourself with your friends. You have the freedom
to say "no" if you disagree.
If you are scared of losing a friendship by standing up for
Be supportive.
Be encouraging.
Do not tease or belittle.
Cooperate.
Compromise.
Be considerate.
Talk openly about disagreements.
formed with people one encounters every day – anyone
who is not a friend, romantic relationship, or family
member.
can occur on both a professional level – including
teachers, clergy, and medical professionals – or as
acquaintances – such as people you know and
recognize in passing.
One should maintain healthy relationships with the
professionals.
by showing your respect and learning from the
Friends may find themselves attracted to each other in ways they
were not before, and they may become closer, or grow apart as they grow older.
In a healthy romantic relationship, both partners respect each
other and have their own identity.
Each partner is an entire individual, not simply part of a couple.
Just as peer pressure can negatively impact a friendship,
partners can overpower each other and create instability in a romantic relationship.
A–Awareness
-knowledge of all aspects of a relationship
Of yourself :- your needs, strengths, weaknesses, goals
Our needs drives us. They are the motivating forces behind our
actions.
Our goals determine where we are going, who we relate with
Using what you know to respect others and demand respect
in return.
Knowledge of the consequences of unhealthy relationships,
recognizing danger signs , and knowing your boundaries.
B- Balance-Don’t have a one-sided relationship with one being more powerful or in control.
Communication is the key staying in balance
talk about what each of you (you and your partner) wants. listen to what the other person has to say.
You and your partner will have his or her own valuable opinions,
and you have to work together to balance your desires
Have time to pursue your own interests individuals as well.
( If you change in a relationship and adopt all of the other person's favorite things, hobbies, and lifestyles, the relationship is
C- Conscious Choices
-being able to decide
what the next step in the relationship is don't
allow things to "just happen."
Allowing things to escalate on their own is a
common excuse that young people use to
explain getting into emotional or sexual
situations that they don't always know how to
handle.
Active listening
Active listening means listening with your head, not just your ears. It's the ability to focus on and feel what you're being told.
Assertiveness: This means expressing your feelings effectively
and appropriately, and setting boundaries where necessary
Empathy: This is simply understanding how the other person
feels without being judgmental.
Open-mindedness: It's important to be as non-judgmental as
Self-awareness:
Recognize and accept your own limitations. It's important to identify your feelings and their source, and accept responsibility for your feelings and actions.
Support:
it's important to offer moral support, acceptance, and
encouragement despite personal disapproval over the decisions one’s partner has made
Trust: This involves demonstrating your feelings and views to
another and being open to his/her reactions. This means taking risks, making yourself vulnerable, and accepting the fact that sometimes your trust may be abused.
In a healthy relationship, each person is allowed to
be an individual within the relationship.
A healthy relationship involves
Freedom, encouragement and support of each
other’s efforts.
Boundaries, cooperation, compromise, and being
considerate.
The keys to a healthy relationship include;
In a healthy relationship, partners should be
able to turn to each other for support.
Partners may not feel comfortable sharing
Personal boundaries are limits we use to protect ourselves,
They are formed by having good self-understanding and
clear personal values.
An important part of respecting yourself and other people is
understanding and honoring these boundaries.
E.g . In a friendship, you and your friend might have an understanding that you can talk on the phone until 11 p.m.
Clear boundaries e. g. when and in what context you want to
become physically intimate in a romantic relationship help ensure that you are respecting your body and that your partner will
Recognize time and energy boundaries. Do not
spend all your time and energy with friends.
Spending all the time at home is also not healthy.
There are some situations in which these
boundaries
should
be crossed, such as when there
is a threat to a person's health or life.
E.g Privacy boundaries with parents can be
crossed if boy ha s a growth on his penis or if a girl
has pain in her pelvis to seek guidance and
Lack of talking
No communication
Inability to listen
No trust
Jealousy
No balance
Does the other person in the relationship:
Put you down?
Get extremely jealous or possessive?
Constantly check up on you?
Tell you how to dress?
Try to control what you do and who you see?
Have big mood swings?
Make you feel nervous (like you are walking on
eggshells)?
Criticize you?
Note
Abuse always escalates, and it rarely gets better
If one or more of these warning signs exist in
your relationship,
it doesn't necessarily mean
that your relationship is abusive
, but your
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is when someone forces you into
unwanted sexual activity
, especially through
threats or coercion.
Emotional and verbal abuse often involve angry outbursts,
withholding of emotional responses, manipulative coercion,
or unreasonable demands.
Verbal abuse
is often insulting and humiliating, with the
abuser making fun of or ridiculing the target.
Emotional abuse
often includes verbal abuse. It also
involves the abuser taking complete control over the life of
the person she or he is abusing, often by making threats or
otherwise manipulating that person.
Those who are being emotionally or verbally abused are
•
Physical abuse occurs when someone
physically hurts their partner, such as by
hitting or throwing something at them.
•
Abuse tends to escalate, putting one at greater
risk in the future.
•
Just one incident of being physically hurt by
When one is above legal age of marriage
W hen mature enough to handle family
responsibilities physically, emotionally, spiritually,
psychologically, financially.
When one consciously understands the concept of
marriage
When one is ready to zero in on a relationship with
one person
When one feels ready to marry
