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3. Manifestations of Repentance:

Confess

Forsake

Restitution

Forgive Yourself and Others

(3)

Jesus prayed:

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

Then He taught:

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

(4)

The Divine Commandment to

Forgive Others:

Doctrine and Covenants 64:9-10; 82:1

Mosiah 26:31

(5)

President Uchtdorf,

April 2012 Conf.

Remember, heaven is filled with those who

have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.

Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another.

Forgive one another.

(6)

As our understanding of

the Atonement increases,

our ability to forgive

ourselves and others

increases.

(7)

Evidence of our receiving the

Atonement and mercy of

Christ in our life is our

willingness and desire to

administer the mercy and

(8)

Why is it that we sometimes have trouble accepting the Atonement as recompense for the harms we suffer at others’ hands?

. . . The Atonement has two sides: 1) Because of the Atonement mercy can satisfy the demands that justice

would impose upon us. We are typically quicker to accept [this side of the Atonement]—the idea that when we sin and make mistakes the Atonement is available to pay our debts.

2) The Atonement also satisfies our demands of justice against others, to fulfill our rights to restitution and being made whole. We often don’t quite see this side of the

(9)

(Cont.)

Faith in Christ and His Atonement must include both His power to pay for our sins and His power to pay for the sins of others.

It is critical to understand that forgiving others is not just a practical virtue. It is a profound act of faith in the

Atonement and the promise that the Savior’s sacrifice repays not just our debts to others but also the debts of others to us.

. . . Forgiveness doesn’t mean minimizing the sin; it means maximizing our faith in the Atonement.

(10)

Christ not only paid for all the sins of the world, He also suffered for all the consequences of sin.

The Efficacy and Power of the Atonement of Christ

Note: Therefore, if we do not repent of our sins, or forgive others, we either lack adequate faith in, or appreciation for, the

Atonement; we may even make a mockery of it by not forgiving or repenting.

Through the Atonement sinners may receive divine forgiveness from God if they repent; and victims may receive compensatory blessings from

(11)

You must learn to separate the sin

from the sinner; this includes

(12)

Joseph Smith, The Prophet

All the religious world is boasting of righteousness; it is the doctrine of the devil to retard the human mind, and hinder our progress, by filling us with self-righteousness. The nearer we get to our Heavenly Father, the more we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs… if you would have God to have mercy on you, have mercy on one another.

(13)

Does the proclamation of Christ “…Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of

these, ye have done it unto me,” (Matthew 25:40)

have any application to forgiving, or not forgiving others? How so?

Does our unwillingness to let go of the pain, sorrow, suffering, bitterness, anger, and

(14)

Parable

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

(15)

and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellow servant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

(16)

Dr. Sidney Simon has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships: ‘Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.’

Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.

(17)

Isaiah 49:16; 1Nephi 21:16

“Behold, I have graven thee upon the

palms of my hands; thy walls are

continually before me.”

“The Lord loves you. He knows your hopes and your disappointments. He will not forget you because your pains and your suffering [even

those caused by the sins and injustices of others] are continually before Him.”

Sister Sylvia Allred, “Steadfast and Immovable,” October 2010 Conference

(18)

Victim of sexual abuse

I thought forgiveness could only come after I had made sense of it. Everything kept going round and round and round and round and round in my head till I thought I would explode. The Spirit and a friend helped me find the solution: I would never be able to make sense of it, nor was I expected to. I just needed to let it go.

Previously, forgiveness had always come from

understanding. This time it could not. I took the whole tangled mess and gave it to the Lord. I was finally

(19)

Forgiveness of others is for our own benefit, not the offender's. In an eternal sense, it is the

Lord's forgiveness that matters, and He makes those decisions: "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." (D&C 64:10.) I found the best way to look at it was not as "forgiving," which often

(20)

Forgiveness of others [and our self] is really more of a letting go. Anger, resentment, and other feelings that

can bind a person to the effects of the offense need to be abandoned at some point. To hold something against another person [or our self] means to hold onto

something. Complete wholeness cannot be restored when negative feelings stand in the way.

Our Heavenly Father's request that we forgive is made out of love and compassion for us—that we might be set free.

(21)

Letting go is a process that is seldom easy. For many, its meaning is elusive. How do we "let go"? Letting go means removing our attention from a particular experience or person and putting our focus on the here and now. We have to let the past pass. The struggle to hang on to it, any part of it, clouds the present. You can't see the possibilities today is offering, if your mind is still drawn to what was.

Letting go can be a gentle process. Our trust in [GOD] and our faith that good will prevail, in spite of appearances, eases the process. And we must let each experience end, as its moment passes, whether it is good or bad, love or sorrow. It helps to remember that all experiences contribute to our growth and

wholeness; all are parts of the journey. And every moment has a gentle end, but no moment is forgotten.

(22)

Forgiveness

What it is:

To give up resentment and condemnation;

To give up the desire and claim for revenge;

To cancel or remit a debt.

Note:

According to Webster’s Dictionary, The word

‘forgive’ is a verb; it is active; it is a decision, a choice.

What it is not:

It does not mean to forget; It does not mean to not

grieve;

It does not mean to excuse one’s behavior;

(23)

President Uchtdorf, April Conference 2012

Forgiving ourselves and others is not easy. In fact, for most of us it requires a major change in our attitude and way of thinking—even a change of heart. But there is good news. This “mighty change” of heart is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is designed to bring into our lives.

How is it done? Through the love of God.

When our hearts are filled with the love of God, something good and pure happens to us. We “keep his commandments: and his

commandments are not grievous. For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world.”

(24)

When you are not

interested,

worried, or upset

about your past

you know you are

(25)
(26)

Elder Richard G. Scott, October 2004 Conference

Now if you are one who cannot forgive yourself for serious past transgressions . . . if you feel compelled to continually condemn yourself and suffer by

frequently recalling the details of past errors, I plead with all of my soul that you ponder this statement of the Savior:

“He who has repented of his sins, the same is

(27)

(Continued)

To continue to suffer when there has been proper repentance is not prompted by the Savior but the master of deceit, whose goal is to bind and enslave you. Satan will press you to continue to relive the details of past mistakes, knowing that such thoughts make forgiveness seem unattainable. In this way Satan attempts to tie strings to the mind and body so that he can manipulate you like a puppet.

. . . [When] your obedience has allowed the Atonement of Jesus Christ to satisfy the demands of justice for the laws you have broken . . . you are now free. Please believe it.

(28)

While it may be true that God’s

willingness to forgive us is

dependent upon our willingness

to forgive others, including

ourselves; it is so natural to

forgive when you know you are

forgiven. My experience has

taught me that usually God

(29)

I think that if God forgives us

we must forgive ourselves.

Otherwise it is almost like

setting up ourselves as a

higher tribunal than Him.

(30)

As our understanding of

the Atonement increases,

our ability to forgive

ourselves and others

increases.

(31)

The Lord will

(32)

Refusing to forgive oneself is a form of

self-condemnation, self-recrimination,

self-contempt, self-loathing, self-criticism,

self-disdain,

All of these forms of self-abuse are the result of false beliefs and perspectives, and their source

is Satan who wants us to believe that our sins define who we are, and we will never be good enough, or be able to suffer enough to be forgiven

by someone as good as Jesus.

(33)

Forgiving oneself of a sin does not mean

excusing oneself for sinning. When we

forgive a sin, we neither say it is OK nor that

payment will not be required. Rather,

forgiveness allows us to turn both the final

judgment of guilt and the full payment of

the debt over to the Lord. The Lord has

said, “Leave judgment alone with me, for it

is mine and I will repay.”

(D&C 82:23)

(34)

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be

repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good

things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to

(35)

(Cont.)

When repentance is sincere, when honest

effort is being made to progress, we are guilty of the greater sin if we keep remembering and recalling and rebashing someone with their

earlier mistakes—and that “someone” might be ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves, often much more so than with others!

(36)

Trying to walk in the present,

constantly looking over your

shoulder at the past, can cause

you to stumble over the future.

(37)

False ideas, Ignorance, Negative Emotions, and the

Inability to recognize the Spirit keep us from

Forgiving Ourselves:

1) Being too dependent on our own efforts and not dependent enough on the Atonement makes it extremely difficult to forgive ourselves. This is a deadly form of pride.

2) If we do NOT understand the doctrine of the Fall and the doctrine of the Atonement it may seem too hard to work out our repentance and to feel forgiven.

3) If we lack the faith that the Lord will forgive us, it may be impossible to forgive ourselves.

4) Fear may be at the root of not being able to forgive ourselves: fear of repeating the sin, fear that we

have not fully repented, fear of moving on and fear of change, etc., etc..

(38)

1) Humility helps us to be more dependent on Christ and His redeeming Atonement than upon our own efforts

2) Searching the scriptures and understanding the universal effects of the Fall and the power of the Infinite Atonement will

help us see things (ourselves and sins) as they really are.

The Antidotes for the reasons

we choose not to forgive ourselves:

3) Praying with all energy of heart will fill us with perfect love which casteth out all fear and negative emotions

(39)

BARRIERS TO FORGIVING OURSELVES:

Character Flaws and Personality

Disorders

Physical Conditions and LimitationsDoctrinal Deficiencies and

Misunderstandings

Insufficient Faith and Insufficient

Endurance to follow the process of repentance to the end

Pavilions we place between us and God

by not controlling our thoughts, emotions, motives, and actions

The Sinful actions and opinions of

others, including Satan, which we allow to define who we are and

(40)

How do I know that I am forgiven?

Mosiah 4:2-3

Doctrine and Covenants 1:32-33

Doctrine and Covenants 6:23

References

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