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i

I

Digitized

by the

Internet

Archive

in

2011

with

funding

from

The

Institute of

Museum

and

Library

Services through

an

Indiana State

Library

LSTA

Grant

t?K£

Not Thee

—

notThee, Castalian Spinster's lord!

By

dog'rel worried,andbydullnessbored;

By whosedreadbeamspestiferousravingsrise,

And

blund'ringnumbseulls fumbleforthe skies

—

Beotiancroakers wildlywouldinvoke

Thy

fav'ring grin,and dodgethevengefulstroke;

Tothee,inprayer,forrays fructiferouswhine,

And

dreamthehonorsofthy patedivine.

XottheeforThis

—

notthee,Parnassianlord!

Bepraised, bespattered,badgered,bayed andbored.

What

!shallno incense swellthyribsofgold?

XorcoltPegasianbe,immortal,foaled?

—

Shallcrows norbullocksfeed the sacred flame?

NorChase'spaperfeetheDelphicdame?

NotThee,forThis

—

not Thee

—

thegod

we

woo

IswhimsicNonsenseandhissnickeringcrew!

Come, greatAfflatus!SovereignWagster

—

Come

!

And

driveTriphoniustohismurky home;

Convulse withagonythesculpturedguest,

And

stirrankDullnessto agrimunrest.

He

comes!

—

hecomes

—

the incantationworks

And

Delphic Follyfeelsprecursivejerks.

See

—

whereincaracoleshe nimblylimps,

And

plays thepipertohiscaperingImps

I—

In clouds arrayed,in feathers, turbans,flags,

—

In skins ofbats,masks,garlands, velvets, rags.

Withvariousphizandfigure

—

lanky,fat,

Bulbous,akimbo,squinting,gibbous,flat

—

Shuffling,chuckling, leaping,crowing, Hopping, squeaking,creeping,blowing

;

Whileclashthe pipers,everon thejump,

And

playfulSambospatterwhilethey thump,

Infestiveprancing caperingtotheMoon,

While huskymeasure drones thegaybassoon.

Ho

! forthe

Eden

ofthewhimsicgod.

Thatconsciousgrins,andchucklesat hisnod.

Hark

.' tothechaunting Cuckoosinthetrees,

WhilevaryingEchos babble inthebreeze;

Where

theNaxanderpealsIberianfruit,

Where

Cyclopschirpinwild,barbaricrunes.

And

steer theirdoxiesthroughthedrylagoons.

Here Sprites grotesque

—

there Gnomesagnarled

crew

—

ThereshiftingProteuschanging shape andhue.

TheregentlePhoenixwhistlestothe breeze,

And

pensiveApes philander'midthetrees.

HereFolly jinglingwith her capandbells

—

ThereDemonsclangon gongsterrificknells:

Hereimps andurchinsgrapplingbythe hair

—

Thereshoots aheadlessgoblinthroughtheair:

Here grimChimerasbattlewithaSphinx,

TheresageMinerva's warbler hootsandblinks

;

Whilesoftacousticsquaverinthe stone, '

And

muriaticmonkeys holdtheirown!

HistI

—

Clarions, cymbals, dulcimersandflutes,

And

smotJieredchorus

hummed

bymarching mutes!

While, whispering,sighing,murmuring,floatingby.

SeesixsweetSirens singingLullaby;

Poor Troglodytes heedsthe canzonet,

And

hobblingfallswithinthesilv'ry net.

A

bigblackbeetlewith anasseshead, Hopsstumblingonward byaharpyled:

Upon

hisbackalittleDevilsits,

Whose

lanterneyeacrimsonglare emits.

Arej-ouofhirnof length)'tailand hoof?

Orareyoulittledeviloftheproof,

Thatwith yourprickingpensand inkylotion

Keepsusallcuffingin awildcommotion?

—

But

who

isthishispikeatus thataims?

By

George!

—

the"Solitarytraveller"

—

_{by James}!

Thesunissetting,justatbreakof day,

And

night'sdarkshadowslight hisdevious

way

:

Therising

moon

hasjustgonedown

—

butsee!

A

little star-fishtwinklesonthesen.

Althoughalone,thetallerofthetwo

Iscladincrimsonjerkin of lightblue; His camlettabard'smadeofvelveteen

And

slashedhisdoubletbyhardblows,"_Iween,"

Hisshaven beardindeviouscrinklesflows,

Whilefalling ruffshersilverygorgedisclose:

On

eitherchintworoseatedimplessit

—

Whileround her neck herviolettrousersfit.

Hisother hands anomberellcmaintain

Tocrushthe foe

—

orbe onhand

—

for rain.

An

arquebussisslungacrosshisbrow

—

Hut, stop/ hestarts—whatsees theWarrior

now?

Orother cause thatmakestheherojump

?—

Quickto hischeekhis catapulthebrings,

And

fliesthecat/—asshotfrom patentsprings.

One brawny arm

now

taps his claret nose,

And

winkshis orb, asit'somethoughtarose.

Onelovelyeveis

out—

theother

—

hasno

hue—

Although

when

gentlyblown onislight hleio!

Armed

with this blue-lightthen hescourstheplain,

And

_—

yetno soapto helpth'Augeanpain.

His ageisthat ofanyyoungerson.

Hisfighting weight,Ijudge

—

about twelvestone.

How

noblypricks his steed

!—

that steed hirsute,

You know

himwell,the oldaccustomedbrute.

Now.' :

by

my

halidame.'"—nnobleknight!

And

yet,Gad-zooks! thesunshines pretty bright

!

But ivhat—oh!say,whatskimstheluridsky?

Hark

!

—

'tisthegore of Infantmelody!

—

"_{Oh, stopyour}Nonsense,"criessomecriticBeauty, Nonsense

—

quotha

—

why

whatelsedo they dot'ye?

—

Noxsexse

we

talk

—

we

read

—

so act

—

solive

—

And

thisa tribute that

we

allreceive.

All drink,inturn,fromhisProteanspring,

Thoughvarying shapetoeachthewatersbring.

WhilegiantErrorhalf theworldmisguides.

And

giant

Humbug

alltherestbestrides.

LetpigmyNonsensealsocut a caper,

And,ifhechoose,likeothers, stainsomepaper.

No

guileinhim

—

he wears no cheating mask,

Butacts hisname, andgivesyou what youask.

Shallwhalesalonego spoutingo'erthe deep,

And

flyingfishnot takea sportive leap?

While Jews andSicilians atold"Wayside inns"

With Yankeepoets drinkandtoast their shins;

Spin outstaleyarnsandtwaddle,afterChaucer, LikeMrs. Harriso'erher cup andsaucer

—

Talk"Jarl"andjargonandthen

—

disagree,

'Till"Norway"wakes, andscrapes hisfiddle-de-dee!

While

Barnum

swingshisgaycartoons o'erhead,

And

fillsGraceChurchtosee hispigmies

wed

;

WhileNattyWilliswrites abouthis chickens,

And

every dabstertriestoplay" theDickens,"

WhileDobbellsighs"thewold,thewold,thew-old!"

And

Maud's young

man

howlsshiveringinthe cold

—

WhileFather Bryant drones about thoseapples,

Orwith poorPopefornod Homeriangrapples.

WhilegauntBohemiaventsitssurplusbile

Inmaudlin ravings gotbygin and while

-Atlantic" scribblers praiseeachother'sstuff.

'Tilleven "Athens"_{sick'ningcries—" enough}!"

Who

Epicstart

—

thenendasSundayjobbers,

Whileeven WallStreet,caughtbyflying cinder,.

Supportsa Bay,andownsher PeterPindar,

Who

ardentstillblowsuphissmoulderingtinder;

Whilemawkishfictionseverytasteengage,

And

bloodandBedlamstoriesare"therage"

—

Shall

we

notravelikealltheotherrhymers?

VapourlaFolicI

—

andthe Follychimers

!

Shall

we

notclacklikeany modishpoet,

Withgeniusnative

—

or stirredupbyMbet? Butlet'snotgroanlikethose morbific jokers,

Away

with Melancholy!

—

and otherpokers.

SaysoldHeraclitus, "tolaugh'snosin.'"

And

if

we

hit,we'lldoitwitha grin.

Yetnoneismeant,

—

so galledyouneedn'tfeel,

'Thoughoftagenusmakesaspeciessqueal.

There,livelyMiss,you've reasonforourfolly,

Let's cut thecritics,andforoncebejolly.

Nonsense

—

ay,marry, and getsomeday thevapors,

From

which,perhaps,we'llcureyouwith ourcapers.

And

comeyeall

—

Offwith yourcaresandtroubles!

^ Z S₅a= a

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M

_o s s>> J? in qui in Ke aides, _S

M

S <0"r=1•s ° " o -*3*-* 13 s>oa o1

—

1 -*i '-3 * 5 « S

—

' 3 ."3 ° o'3_^S

11^

* 3 &T3 o

—

> * ₅ «> fe o-A-S

~

O H-P

H ^ £

<£

4-.

To

a very black .man fromEthiopia. Old

Abe

said

—

"Pray

goto

Utopia-"

The

bearswillbenice.

And

there'11beplentyofice, "

_You

_troublesome

_man

ofEthiopia."

There wasamusician

named

Verdi,

And

forfearhe shouldn'tbeheard,he

Went

forpokersandtongs,

And

cymbals andgongs, This sonof ahurdv-gurdy

,-^p**--^

Therewasadiscreet Brigadier,

Very

fondof fourthousanda-year

;

Who, when

he heard thegunsrattle; Fiercely cried

—

"Ha!

—

the

There wasagaydamselofLynn, "Whose waistwassocharminglythin,

Her

dress-makerneeded

—

amicroscope

—

shedid.

H.

Therewasanoldcracked Virtuoso,

Who

saidtheoldMasterswereso-so•

TherewasaWashingtonchap fondof chaffing,

Who

with

jokingkeptalltheworld laughing,

He

lookedgraveasanun,Buthestillhadhis fun,

10. -a

n

9 O

£

•"" ' en

T

n OQ •X

<

&«

n.

.

There wasayoung:school-girlofDedham, Allthebooksintheworld shehadread

And

reporters ten

deep—

Tookhertalk inhersleep—

13.

Two

Buckson an ottomanlolled, Ataclubwherethere'switmanifold.

Saysone,"let

me

think"

—

T'othercries,"betterdrink;

14-There wasayoung.lady of Milton,

Who

washighly disgusted with"Stilton"

When

offered abito,shesaid, -notamiterThatsuggestiveyoungladyof Milton

15

TherewasayoungladyofBoston,

To

thefairshedeterminedtoposton;

16.

SaidSprigs, asheledout3IissBillion—

"A

figforyour chaps withamillionI

" Ican'tchatter ortalk, ButI'm'cock ofthewalk,'

11.

TherewasayoungladyofGramercyPark.

Who

wasafraidtowalkoutinthechirk

So she got hera beau,

The moon

frightenedherso,

Therewasan Old Boy,

who

said: "

How

—

shallIsettlethese politicsnow?

"_/willsitonthisfence,andconsider fromthence

19.

There wasayoungladyofBye,

-Who

got a

yoWg

man

m

her eye,

Soshewentto aDoctor, Buthe onlymockedher,

20.

PollywenttotheSprings Tillherheadfairly rings

Withthe Belks and theBeauxofthe place:

She dancedand shesung,

And

hadplentyoftongue;

2*

o*S

Sa,dasavingyoung

_Yon

_{he there}Miss

*•*«***

Asshe putallhercoininabucket

perdu—

While Greenbackswill do, "

A

ragisasgoodasaducat."

tr

There wasayoung

man

ofthe

North-

Who

nattered the

^

_andso forth

tillhe gotalltheir rings

Prom

the poorlittlethings

;—

13

SaidaMisstoherBeauin

West

Chazy,

Whose

habitswerestolidandlazy, "Let usseethe sunriseI" Saidhe,"

_No

!

—

_foryoureyes.

24-InFifthAvenuedweltafairentity, Verygay,verythin,andjusttwentity,

Shelivedon hertoes,

And

hadso

many

beaus,

25.

There wasanoldgirl inBroadway,

Who

alwayswould haveher

own way

;

So sheborrowedagun

From

achapthathadnone,

26.

There wasanold

man named

Smith;

Who,

dying without kinorkith,

Lefthisfortunefor those,'(Forhewasveryjocose,)

Who

bore the strangenomenof Smith

!—

27. _-o ° S-=: •>,p- _M T3 « m mi° r S.T3,2 » » « . h,-™ ? SC* fe <D 3 *3 ' S o

«

IS.

S

rj-a "°•" E^

F «

fiI

2S

A

younglady

who

lived atCape Cod, Strung herloversailuponarod

Says

she—

'•

How

are

you?"— They

replied,-Batherblue;"

"_{This treatment indeedis}

13

A.fond youthgavehissweetheart from Shongo.

A

littleapethaihesentforfrom Congo. Saidshe

—

"How

sweetlyyouwoo. T'wasindeed kindinyou

MissSallyislike Ph<eton,

And

wouldlike tohavearun

31.

InthesweettownofCanajnharie,

D

welt amaiden moresolidthanairy,

Shewasafivehundredpounder,

And

it'youtriedtoget'round her.

3Z.

ft

TherewasaslyMissofBatavia,

Who

wasamazedatherloyer'sbehaviour

When

hegaveherakiss, Shesaid, "Whatisthis?"

—

"We're unusedto suclithings atBatavia."

•33. n-l m n °XI • * g fi £^3 -a ^ r* w 03 >

^ 3

3? «< ©

s £ s

ft

H

34. |

w

_OMAIMS

RIGHTS

MEETING

(

For

PHOEBEA.PEAbody!

Old Miss

X-

ina strongminded humour, "Whenfateanoldmaid seemedto

doom

her,

Said,while putting onspecs,

And

changing her -sex,

3if.

Therewasaverywise

man

ofCopake,

Who

whilefishingfellintothelate;

So heranto his

home

And

beggedtheneighbourstocome

W

P

M

aI

!

af

T'

Ia

7

Sr '

L

°rd

C

°ke

' "

Co*™*™

have nosouls"

37.

There wasan oldgirlof Oriskany,

Who

neverwas

known

oftofriskany,

Buteloped withasailor,

Though

sheliked best atailor, Saying,"It'stoo lateforinenoiototake'risk"any.

InWallstreet liveda bighear, That sungtoa gull intheair

A

ditty so sweet, Thathefellinthestreet

3.9.

Mr.Softliked his hair inthemiddletopart,

And

adjustedthelinewithamarvellousart:

Then

sallying forth for astroll inthestreet,Raisedhisbeaver Miss Velveteen Slioddy togreet•

A

Deutclwr

M.

P.sawhis hairwithsurprise,

And

arrested the youthasamaidindisguise.

sagetoJackSnapatthe«Century,» _"All

_make

_speeches

to

me

compKmentary-Well-I

believeIsurpass-" «_{Yes,"says Jack,}«

you'rean

as-Tomshing

man

attheCentury

SaidaJudge,"mantistuaCapiendo,"

To

anheiresshe askedtosurrender,

Quothhe,"Evermore, Let.

my

lovebe thyhmtv-

—

*'

_And

letthinebeto

me

'_{legal tender.'}

There wasanold

man

atthe South,

Who

wasvery

much down

inthemouth,

Sohe borrowed a hat,

And

dinedupon that

—

There wasayounglady

who

said, "

A

rich

man

Ineverwill

wed

—

''_AllIask

forinmarriage Isafinehouseandcarriage,

4-4.

There wasayoungladyof eighteen,

Who

thought therewasno riskinwaiting;

Butshewas mistaken, Forat forty forsaken,

4S.

There was an ambitiousyoung woman,

named

'_{Harris', "Whomarried}

a Vicomjpiefrom Paris•

But he left verysoon,

With

every spoon

Therewasanoldgirl intheBowery,

Had

asewing-machineforherdowery;

To

hersaidher beau,

Though

you'reonlysew

—

sew.

4-1.

Therewasapoorgirlof Fori Lee

Who,

havingaPiano F&r-te(a)

The

keys could'nt digest. Forthey lookedupherchest,

Saida

man

to his friendcatchingflies, Thislifeataclub stupefies.

" IthinkI willmarry," Says the other

—

"No,tarry,

"_{Angelsever lookbestintheskies}

4-9.

There wasayoungladyofBath,

Whose

figurewasthin as a lath;

Ifyoustuckupapin You'dswearitwastwin.

50.

There wasanoldman.itissaid,

Who

stooddayand night onhishe^d,

Oneday.withacough.

He

shookhisheadoff,

IblowandImake yousneeze,— Idrawandyou come whereI

TherewerecertainwisemenofThe" East

They'dasaucemadeof

Who

fromstirring thing?upneverceased,

Sambo." ArcadesAmbo.

There cameayoung

man

fromBombay,

Who

had beensuchalongtime away,

They

thought hewasdead, So they cutoffhishead,

There's alively oldgirlfrom Arkansas,

Who

dotesupondancing "_theLancers

;

'

Shewill collaraman.

Whenever

shecan, Tojoinherindancing "_theLancers."

Had

the Cyija.

who

railednightandday," Said Jones, after dinner.quiteg'ay,

A

'Havaiinci like this, "Withitsvisionsofbliss,

?

k

k

There wasanoldpigwroteasonnei, Aboutputtinghisheadinabonnet;

Saidhe,fora joke, " I'llbepiginapoke,

51.

Ninegirlsmourneda galliantZouave,

Whom

theenemycut intohalf, "

He

was mine"—"

No

he'smine," Bawledout thewholenine,

•5*.

Said a youthtoamaidenfrom Fonda,

As

they skated about onapond-".4A/ "Shall

I

breakupthe ice ? " Says she

—

"Yes

—

Vwillbenice,

Therewentfrom

New

Yorkagreatman,

Who

saidtotheTolksatJapan, "Come,old boys,civilize,

Open

portsandyoureyes"—

60.

There wasanold fashionedgirl in

New

Haven,

Who

hadinacageablack raven

;

Shesaid inherfright, Imustneedspainthimwhite,

<?/.

A

lonely old

man

who'dadaughter. That passedhalfher timeinthewater:

Cried, asshe dippedinthe brine, " Imust

now

taketo w(k)inc.

6Z.

Tb«rewasan airyyoung

man

played theflute,

Whose

attractionswere veryhirsute

;

Some

thoughthimblind toallhesaw, Most

when

theysaw himcried,"

_Esau

_I"

There wasanoldgirlfondof beans,

Who

hadaqueer rushofbloodtothe nose

Soshe criedwithasigh, "Well

!—

IsupposeImust die—

eu

K

There wasayoungladyof Wroxeter,

Went

outinafieldand anoxeather;

With

fearhedidquake,

When

he foundhismistake,

65.

There wasanoldpersonnamedLee,

Who

cametotheNorthtotakeTea;

BattheyofferedhimMead(e),

And

asthat disagreed,

66

Tbz-ewasayoungladywhose

gown

, Keptclean agreatpartot thetown,

Says she"Idon't care, Forthesoilandthe wear,

''

•

i;-/

An

old

man

went uptothemoon,

To

seeifitwasalampoon

He

foundaboythere, Feedingupthe Great Bear,

ff#.

SeriUmusiMefaceteque- _{Our rhymes}

areallrathersqueaky

bansmaliceprepense— _{Without any senses}