Joe wanted everything to be perfect the night before Nancy left for Belgium. He had started missing her the minute she told him she’d
SECRETS OF BETTER SEX
be doing research there for three months. “I want to do something special for our last night - flowers, candles, soft music, whatever you like,” he told her. But Nancy just grinned. “I can think of something we’ll both remember every day until I come back,” she said. “My surprise.”
They met outside her office and got in a cab just after rush hour had ended. It was chilly, and they clung together in the back seat. He was astounded when he felt her slide her hand under his coat and begin to fumble with his zipper. What if the cabbie looked back? But as she worked her magic fingers around him, he realized he was get-ting incredibly hard. She had on a long skirt, and he watched as she manuevered her panties down one leg, then turned and sat on top of him. He wasn’t inside her, but just the touch of flesh on flesh was electric.
When they stumbled out of the cab and walked in the door, she ran into the kitchen. He heard her open the refrigerator door and put something on the stove. In a minute, she joined him in the den, wearing only high heels and dangling earrings, carrying a tray. On it was a bottle of massage oil, a bucket of ice cubes, and a pot of warm, steaming honey.
“Lie down for your massage,” she ordered.
He went for the blinds, since their apartment was right across from another highrise, but she stopped his hand. “I want to be seen,” she insisted, pushing him down on the rug.
He couldn’t wait. He tested the honey with his finger, and as he knelt before her, he applied it to the creases that ran from the tops of her thighs into the hiding place between her legs. It usually took time to arouse Nancy these days - he wondered if it was him or menopause or the fact that they’d been together twenty years - but tonight she was flowing. She dug her fingers into his hair and drew him closer. “I need you inside me,” she said.
“Wait.” With one hand, he poured the honey down the cleft that led to her clitoris and with the other, he took an ice cube and teased her nipples until they were rock hard. Then, before she knew what was happening, he ran the ice down her body and inserted it into her vagina, then bent and hungrily licked a circle around her clitoris, cleaning honey roughly off the shaft and sides with his tongue. She cried out and her body thrashed in his arms, but he held her tight with his mouth, not letting her escape the pleasure.
AURAL AROUSAL, THE STIMULATION OF SOUND
He wanted her so badly, but to prolong the ecstacy, he rolled her onto her stomach and applied the massage oil down her back and between her legs. The soft, scented essence flowed over her and made him ache. He slid across her slick buttocks and added one more small chip of ice before entering her from behind. She was wild, bucking against him, but he wouldn’t let her go. He reached around in front, stimulating her as his own excitement grew intense. She began to come again and again, and her face was more beautiful than he’d ever seen it. When he came with her, he wrapped his arms around her. “I love saying goodbye to you,” he whispered.
SECRETS OF BETTER SEX
Bisexuality
One meaning of “bi” in Latin is two. Bisexuality means simply having sexual responsiveness to both sexes. It is not uncommon for children and adolescents to have a fleeting sexual attraction to members of the same sex. Many experts believe that most adult bisexuals - a group of approximately 10 to 15 percent of the population - are either
heterosexual or homosexual. While a small minority maintain sexual relations with men and women concurrently in an equal or nearly equal manner, most spend more time with one gender than another.
A true bisexual is more likely to be a woman than a man. Is that true for social or biological reasons? We don’t know. The average man will typically report being repulsed by the idea of having a sexual experience with another male, while the average woman, even if she isn’t inclined toward bisexuality, will not react with such vehemence to the idea of being sexual with another woman. If the popularity among men of erotica featuring bisexual or lesbian women is any indication, many men may be attracted to watching or fantas-izing two women together. Few women report this kind of response to the idea of two men together. Also, it is probably easier for women heterosexuals to have same sex liaisons than for men because women are expected to have close and affectionate friendships with one an-other.
There is some reason to believe that many, if not most, people have some degree of unconscious attraction to both genders. Sigmund Freud thought we are all inherently bisexual but that most of us have repressed one side. “The Kinsey Scale” developed by sex researcher Alfred Kinsey, founder of The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction, classifies persons with only heterosexual behavior as “0” and those with only homosexual behavior as “6.”
Having repeated fantasies about same-sex partners would, for ex-ample, move you up a point from zero on the scale.
EXAMPLE
“I love my husband, but I don’t get the emotional satisfaction from him that I need,” says Molly. “My relationship with Annie started out as a friendship. Over a two-year period we grew closer, very in-timate emotionally. We were always physically affectionate with each other. Then one day it just happened. We kissed and didn’t stop there.
“Both of us felt awkward and guilty afterwards. It was a few days before we dared talk about it. That was uncharacteristic for us, because we always talked about everything right on the spot. We decided not to let the lovemaking happen again, but it did.
SECRETS OF BETTER SEX
“This has been going on for nearly a year now. Neither of us are thinking of leaving our husband. It’s just something we need, some-thing we don’t get from men.”
Can you really have it both ways? Some people do. Bisexuality, especially among women, has become more visible in popular culture.
In July 1995, Newsweek magazine ran a cover story on the “new sexual identity” - a sure sign that the concept, at least, of bisexuality has entered the mainstream.
BISEXUALITY