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a C ouple of e ffeCTIve C onversaTIonal T ools
Cold reading. Cold reading helps captivate her and builds familiarity instantly. It’s a tool I use once in awhile, especially at times when the woman I’m talking to is hard to crack or if I’m in a hurry and I want to build a quick connection. A good resource for cold read is the Forer’s effect. Try searching that on Google or something.
Romantic spin. Always include a romantic spin after building an
emotional connection. This always steers the interaction toward the right path. Some examples would be taking her on an instant date, talking about fate and destiny, and, of course, kissing her.
Fractionating. This helps intensify the emotional connection that you’ve built. Here’s an example of fractionating: Talk about something light, then go a little deep, go light again, then this time go a little deeper than you were before, then make her laugh a little bit, then go deeper. This is a brilliant way to ease into deeper topics.
Preempting objections. Whatever objections she may have make sure to use them first. Tell her that you’re sad you met with no mutual friends to introduce you to each other, and that’s why you can’t hang out anymore. Say this after a high point in the interaction.
On Storytelling
Storytelling is very powerful if done right.
When you tell a story you communicate on both levels. They listen to what you say and how you say it.
Constantly ask yourself this: What am I trying to communicate? Am I getting my message across?
You want to demonstrate good qualities about yourself with the stories you tell people (e.g. adventurous, trustworthy, protector of the ones you love, ambitious, humorous, romantic, etc). Next, you need to check your body language, vocal tonality and projection, eye contact, and your non verbal communication to see if you’re communicating all the right things like being comfortable in your own skin, confident, demands respect, etc.
Builds comfort and trust. Telling a story builds comfort and trust because you’re opening up to somebody you don’t know. People usually don’t just go up to people and start telling stories. Well some do and they’re either super social, story tellers, or just used to talking people’s ears off. Well if you’re one of them then you’re on your way to becoming successful. Why? It’s because learning how to express yourself is the first step in getting good at meeting women.
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So let’s get to the important part How do you make a good story?
Here are some terms that are important in storytelling and I’ll discuss only a couple of them
Opening line, sequencing of events, character development, engaging the senses, and emotional projection.
Probably the most important part of telling a story is your vocal projection and your delivery.
Let’s take for example a comedian and an actor. Give him the best script
created by the best minds in the world and when performance day comes, the presentation can still bomb.
It can still suck. On the other hand, you can give a guy who’s good at telling stories a very boring and ridiculously horrible story line and he can turn it in to something very interesting.
What’s the difference between these two guys?
The way they present it and he way they deliver.
Every time you’re telling a story I want you to ask yourself these questions Am I passionate about what I’m talking about?
Am I enthusiastic?
Am I paying attention to everyone that’s listening?
Am I relaxed and comfortable?
Is my voice loud enough?
Am I talking slow and clear?
Am I projecting the emotion I need to project through my voice? (If you’re telling a scary story sound scared, if it’s suspense then use a lot of pausing)
Am I pausing at the right times?
Am I using a wide range of facial expressions?
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So here’s a quick formula for a spontaneous story.
1.) OMG, the funniest/craziest/most embarrassing/ wildest thing just happened to me yesterday/today/couple minutes ago.... (pause)
2.) Describe what you were doing at that time, who you were with, what you could see, hear, smell, feel, etc.
3.) Then slowly insert stuff like “and then I realized”, “all of a sudden”, “out of nowhere”, “then out of the blue”, and “surprisingly”.
4.) The climax of your story.
5.) How did it make you feel? What lessons did you learn?
6.)* Then ask her* Does that ever happen to you? (throwing the ball back at her) You want to talk about emotions because you want to communicate on her level. You want her to be able to relate to you. Men usually communicate with logic while women value emotions more. It’s something they can relate too. You want to engage all her senses, as much as possible when you’re telling a story.
Grungey10: Hey, I’m Oliver.
Bookstore girl: Oliver, Nice meeting you. I’m Lisa.
Grungey10: Lisa, interesting name. Speaking of names, a light bulb just popped up in my head. Did your parents ever tell you about embarrassing stories when you were kid?
Bookstore girl: Yeah, I get that every time there’s a family get together.
Grungey10: Exactly. Well can you believe that my name was supposed to be Amanda?
Bookstore girl: Amanda?! (laughs)
Grungey10: Yes, Amanda. Now stop laughing at my baby name, it gets bruised easily.
Bookstore girl: (laughs)