DAO AXIOM
We are what we repeatedly do. excellence, then is not an art, but a habit.
- Aristotle
“If you’re not big enough to lose, you’re not big enough to win”
- Walter Reuther
Commitment
Okay, guys, so now, as you begin with confidence, you are going to enter a process that by its very nature will not only in-crease your DAO success ratio but also will inin-crease your confidence the more you do it.
Because this is the system that makes champions. Literally.
Don’t take it from me. Let’s go back to my man, Chicago Bulls and L.A. Lakers Champion Coach Phil Jackson, who writes in Sacred Hoops,
“In basketball, true joy comes from being fully present in
each and every moment, not just when things are going your way. Of course, it’s no accident that things are more likely to go your way when you stop worrying about whether you’re going to win or lose and focus our full attention on what’s happening right at this moment.”
Being in the game. Being in the moment. Being free of the mistakes and victories of the past. Free of anxiety about the future.
Just right now. You and the girl on the screen. Nothing but possibility.
Every time you sit down in front of your computer and fire up your dating site, you are stepping into an arena. And you’re either in to “play and pray” or “play to win.”
To play to win, you must be committed.
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Being committed means having the deep confidence that you will make mistakes - and then – you will learn from them.
DAO Axiom
love Your Mistakes! Your mistakes are your tuition toward mastery. Wel-come those payments, for they are invaluable.
Being committed means
that you are acting intelligently
in a grounded, step-by-step systematic way
that doesn’t project neediness and is not swayed by desire.
There is a relentless, ego-less automation to this that you must embrace. As Aristotle reminds us, excellence is a habit.
From Zen Master Phil:
“Right action… is the capacity to observe what’s happening and act appropri-ately, without being distracted by self- centered thoughts.”
Or if you don’t want to get so fancy, think of how you play Halo2, or any videogame.
You ascend though levels. You die. You are reborn. You learn. You experiment. You don’t get all depressed when your Avatar is blown away.
Online, that’s all that is happening when you fail. Your online avatar is blown away. You, in your home, in your life, are fine.
You are just there, learning, growing, mastering.
I love turning my computer on to see who’s written me. I love the challenge of writing to and responding to beautiful women online.
Why?
Because I have cleansed myself of neediness so I approach online dating with utter confidence.
Because I have done my homework and know how to read women’s profiles for “hot words” and how to be a “penetrating mirror” (see below).
Because I know I will do my homework – and apply the DAO Guiding Principles and Techniques when they are appropri-ate, when they are called for in a rational, measured, smart way.
Because, always in the flow of mastering the process, I am at home in my most powerful self. Because I approach the com-puter with a kind of selfless detachment, a kind of keen alertness, and a committed respect for the DAO System which works!
As you read this manual and do the exercises, you may begin to feel very heady, like you are accessing a whole new set of powers.
That’s okay, because it will be true. There is a lot of knowledge here, compressed from a lot of fields of expertise – from business leadership and psychology, from evolutionary biology and dramatic writing, from semiotics and direct marketing.
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Be excited. This is deeply empowering stuff. But, when online, you must remain calm.
Yeah, that’s right, the whole Zen thing, just like Phil Jackson.
Being calm, being systematic, being disciplined means the following specific actions:
-You will not rush into answering an email or a tease.
-You will not rush into responding to a hot profile.
-You will not be flattered for your powerful, alluring text and mails.
-You will not be disappointed if a girl turns you down.
-You will not lose your discipline when a girl asks to meet you.
-You will not allow yourself to be rocked back and forth with testosterone and desire.
-You will not get down on yourself.
Instead…
You will stay in the game. Steady. Aware. Studious. Always learning.
Staying centered in the DAO system is how you will keep your game steady. By understanding, integrating and following this clearly defined set of principles that will move you toward your goal – magnetizing awesome women off the web into your arms.
To move without fear or desire – this will depersonalize your process. If you make a mistake – and, again, let me stress this - you will make mistakes! – you just learn, then correct course. It ain’t personal. You adjust, you improve, and you master your approach. Woman by woman. Email by email. Day by day. Week by week.
This is a winning system. It works. How can you make it work for you? Zen master Phil writes that the key to learning a winning system…
“is a repetitive series of drills that train the players, on an experiential level as well as an intellectual one…drills resemble Zen practice”
Success comes with repetitive drills. Over and over and over again. Skills take time to master. They take repetition. They take depersonalization. They take commitment to the system.
Vince Lombardi used to make his team stand behind a line and say,
“God has ordained me to teach you young men about football today. I want all those who want that training to step across that line.”
I can’t see you. I can’t hear you. But I can tell you…
I am asking you that if you want to get the most out of this training, step across that line. Say to yourself that you are here to win. You are here to become an irresistible
attractor to women.
The knowledge is here for you.
The choice to commit is yours. And yours alone.
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The DAO Guarantee When you commit yourself to the
egoless discipline of the DAO system,
women will sense that you are powerful.
And come toward you. Off the screen. Into your life.
2.1 Confidence Attractor: Commitment to Winning
In fact, commitment is so important as an DAO Confidence Attractor, let’s talk about it in a little more depth…
Once you start speaking from your strength – from your authentic strength – guess what? You will actually grow stronger.
Strength and confidence will follow from how you speak, how your represent yourself.
Without getting too much into detail, this is the basis of behavioral psychology. Or, in the vernacular: fake it till you make it.
For getting your pregame game going, I want to look again at Phil Jackson. Why do I like him so much? Because he is a leader among men – a guy who could wrangle huge male egos like Shaq and MJ and Kobe and Pippin. But more than that – he is a master of winning. Of attaining the goal. He is a master of the game – because he has mastered the preparation in the pregame.
Bill Bradley said about Phil that he was committed to learning, to teaching and acting on his insights.
You need to become as committed as Jackson.
How committed? Do you know the story of Cortez, who when he landed with 600 men on the coast of Mexico, burned his ships behind him and told his men, “we defeat these
1 million Aztecs or we die. You choose.”
You must decide to master online dating or give up. There is no point to doing anything half-hearted. Especially this.
Online dating is the most amazing system in the history of mankind for allowing a man to sharpen his female-attracting skills.
It is a near-infinite pool of women.
It is relatively anonymous, which allows you endless trial and error.
Being a non-physical realm, it is all about character. You can reinvent yourself everyday and you should.
Confidence comes from accomplishment.
But that is conditional on success. Tiger Woods can have a bad season. A guy can have a bad streak with women.
But there is a deeper confidence. Let’s call it the DAO confidence. And that confidence comes from a commitment to learning, growth and improvement no matter what!
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This Workbook is about your pre-game. Your mental preparation.
So that when you come to enter the arena (i.e. post your profile, write to women) you will be playing to win. You will be committed to winning - not merely trying to “get lucky” or what I call the chance game of “playing and praying.”
So know that you will fail. Get used to that right now. You will try all the Quick Start Stand Out Techniques in the accom-panying Manual. You will try to tease, or to teach, or be intuitive or the be ballsy and funny.
It won’t work every time, but it will work often. Regardless, you stay committed to the practice and get better and better as you progress.
Defeat should never be a source of discouragement, but rather a fresh stimulus.
- Robert South.