Difficulties accessing the fieldwork sites

In general, returnees’ resistances to participate in this study were related to three main aspects, lack of time, lack of trust and lack of acknowledgement of the relevance of the topic.

51 _{Send an e-mail with a formal letter attached introducing myself and the research, followed up by}

the delivery of the hard copy of the letter with my business card at the premises, and finishing with follow-up phone calls and e-mails.

In relation to their lack of time, I expected it to be a constraint in Mexico City due to the well- known hectic urban lifestyle (long commutes, extended working hours or having more than one source of income, e.g. being employed and having one’s own business); however I soon realised that the time constraint was also a concern in Huaquechula. Similarly to those in the city, people often needed to have more than one source of income. This, in many cases, was related to agriculture. As it was the beginning of the planting season, many of my participants had to spend long hours in the fields turning the soil and undertaking other preparations, and therefore had little time or energy to participate in my study.

With regard to trust, gaining access to the rural site required investing more time and effort than in Mexico City. Being an outsider in a small rural community is often more noticeable than in a larger city. Moreover, the presence of a stranger can often be interpreted as a threat. As anecdotal evidence, soon after my arrival, I was waiting for one of my research participants and sitting inside his business (a small bakery) when three police officers came and requested to see my ID, and to know the address of where I was staying. This took me by surprise and, as the police have such a bad reputation in Mexico, it also made me feel afraid. Therefore, even though I knew they had no reason to do this, I did as they asked. Once the initial tension was dissipated, I inquired as to the reason behind their requests. The officers replied that they checked on me because I was clearly an outsider and they wanted to have registry of my identity for security reasons. For these police officers (and perhaps other community members), my presence somehow represented a risk to their community and maybe to their personal safety52_{. Furthermore, some participants shared} their fear of being victims of extortion53_{, which apparently had been a problem in the} community in the past.

Later, while conducting my interviews, I learnt that the reluctance to participate in the study was also related to concerns of being identified as ‘failed returnees’. An indicator of success is the economic wealth that migrants were able to accumulate while in the USA, so for those who were unable to accumulate such wealth, they preferred to be unnoticed. Additionally, people who were deported also wanted to keep a low profile to avoid being exposed to public judgement. Therefore, people were concerned about the consequences

52 _{After this incident, and maybe as a consequence of it, the participant I was waiting for and was}

the owner of the bakery decided to cancel his participation in the research.

53 _{One woman openly told me that she was afraid that I could make bad use of her information and}

kidnap her. This seemed odd since my physical appearance as a seven months pregnant woman would not align with the imagery of a criminal to me.

that disclosing the information about the nature of their return might have for them. Lastly, the lack of acknowledgement of the relevance of the topic made people feel doubtful about the significance of the research and the importance of their participation in the study. Three different ways of dealing with these obstacles were firstly, the day after I was questioned by the police, I requested an official letter from the municipality stating that they ‘authorised me’ to live and conduct research in the locality (see Appendix 1). This letter proved to be a useful tool which I presented every time I was trying to gain access and people’s trust. Secondly, during my stay in the community I was hosted by local residents whom I knew through personal connections. I realised that this elderly couple unintentionally became my guarantors in the eyes of the community54_{. Despite the fact that by the end of} my stay in Huaquechula I had to leave the house because the conditions of my stay were becoming problematic for conducting my research55_{, this had no negative impact while} completing my interviews. As for the lack of acknowledgement of the relevance of the topic, I realised that the way in which I conveyed the information about my research objectives was key for people to become aware of the importance of their participation in the investigation.

Rural communities are often conceived as organic and pure spaces to which outsiders may pose a threat, specifically to the moral and social health or wellbeing of the community (Ahmed 2000:26). Fear of difference is often projected onto the objects and spaces comprising the ‘home’ or locality which can be ‘polluted’ by the presence of non-conforming people, activities or artefacts (Ahmed 2000:53). Soon after my arrival in Huaquechula, I realised that I was not only perceived as non-conforming or a stranger, I also felt out of place, not knowing how to navigate an unknown environment which I soon perceived to be hermetic and hostile. I must say that I spent a considerable amount of time having to convince people that I was not a threat to them or their community and at a certain point I felt frustrated. In conclusion, I believe that accessing any field site calls for a high level of ‘emotional labour’ (Hochschild 1983) on the part of the researcher. It is important not to under-estimate the creativity, effort, emotional labour, resilience and time required to

54 _{Taking into account the concerns community members had about me as an outsider, I consider}

that staying with a couple who were in their early 80s and whose four of their children are migrants living in the USA, might have made me look as less of a threat.

55 _{My hosts decided not to give me a key to enter their house and established curfew time by 20:30}

hrs. Due to long interviews, a couple of times I came back later than the established hour and this was becoming problematic for my hosts.

conduct research, particularly in certain communities where the presence of an outsider could be initially (and understandably) unwelcome.