Don was born in Nottingham in 1940. His parents divorced and he was brought up by his paternal grandmother. Don joined the police force and married Jacqui in 1963. They had triplets, Jason, Jimmy and Clive, born in 1965. Jacqui died of cancer in 1977. Don met Louise six months later. They lived together for twelve months and were married in 1979.
DON
My first marriage was okay. I don't know whether it was good or whether it was bad. Couldn't really tell you. You may think that's silly. It isn't so silly. We met just at an ordinary dance. I wasn't terribly committed. Jacqui was. We met in Nottingham. I came to work down here and she followed me down. We were both single. She got a job in Newtown. I was posted to Newtown and we got married.
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We went through the trials and tribulations of children and it was never very happy. Lots of strains. Though we thought a lot of each other, there were a lot of strains in the marriage. Then she got cancer and how much that contributed to her behaviour I don't know because she got very nasty in the last two years. On getting cancer she got very nasty and bitter and we'd only been here six months [present marital home] when she got that. The boys were getting up to, what, eleven, I think. So we was getting over the worst. Getting to that plane of settling and building when this comes along and made her very bitter.
We didn't know how long she was going to live although we thought probably it would be many years but she'd be ill. So it was difficult and not long enough to analyse the problems of the early years of the marriage. Whether or not those problems were a real problem or whether it was just the kids. Then we got the problem of her getting very nasty and bitter. So you never had the chance to analyse it.
She was at home until she became incontinent. It got to the stage where I couldn't look after her and carry on working at the same time. We had a nurse come in for about a fortnight but it was too much for a district nurse to cope. It got so critical that she
was taken to hospital. It was very quick at the end. Quite honestly I hadn't expected it.
One the Monday she wasn't too bad. She could speak reasonably well. Tuesday she was pretty poor but she was giving the impression she was drunk which was put down to the drugs. So there was no reason to think she was going to die. Even at that stage. When I got home she was talking to the boys [Don's children] on the telephone quite normally. So she'd obviously made an effort to talk to them. She must have known the end was near. And I was phoned at five in the morning. She'd had a rough night and was asking for me. I rushed over and I walked in, she just opened her eyes, saw me, took three or four deep breaths and died. It was total shock really. It was just like her being killed. I'd got no idea.
I was in such a confused state. My stepmother came and stayed with me for a few days and that took the pressure off. I remember when she left and I shut the door. It hit me. I broke down then. I really couldn't cope. It really was terrible. Then I knew I was on my own. I'd got problems.
The police force wasn't helpful. They put me back on the beat on nights. I'd got three thirteen year old
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kids and that's what they did. So that created a lot of problems. I had to leave them to go to work. They were becoming unruly. I came home one day and found the front porch smashed up. One of them had tried to get in. I'd got the neighbours complaining at their behaviour. I could see I was going down fast.
I went to Gingerbread (see note 18). I was persuaded to go there by a friend. I thought that would help. That's where I met Louise although I wasn't looking for anybody. She was in a bad way. I could identify with her problems and I was able to help her with the things she needed and she was able to help me with the things I needed.
It's funny though. I wasn't interested in meeting anybody else. I didn't want to meet anybody else, but ray first wife was called Louise (19), so it was Louise and Don, no change. Jacqui (first wife - see note 19) was a nurse. Louise is now a nurse at the same hospital. There were three children in the first marriage. Louise has three children. So we doubled up. Richard [Louise's son] the baby. He was the last person Jacqui took into the operating theatre for an operation. She [Jacqui] came home and told me about this lovely little baby. She really took to him and I mean I didn't know Louise then. The first time I met
Louise was after Jacqul had died and she was telling me about Richard and going to the hospital and the two tied up. It was funny that Jacqui came and told me about this lovely little baby and now he's my boy. A lot of things make you suspect that there is life after death. When a person does have an influence on your life and I don't think they pass over straight away. I think Louise was chosen by Jacqui to be the one to look after her boys [Don's children].
Mind you, I'd never really thought about myself being a stepfather. I'd obviously heard of it from my job. I'd always considered a stepparent family as a problem family. You heard the wicked stepmother syndrome but you certainly didn't hear of a happy integrated stepfamily.
Obviously when I met Louise the first thoughts were of confusion if truth be said. I'd now got another problem. I'd got to decide on how it was going to be. The way I played in was very much how the children were going to be. So I set out a little bit to brainwash ray children. I set out as well to brainwash Louise's children to accept me. You've got to win their love and affection. A bit sneaky really (see note 7).
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I think I did this with Michael. He took to me very well. He took to me straight away. Absolutely no problem right from the beginning. Belinda was a very difficult girl. She was very affected by the divorce. I basically left her and let her come round on her own accord. Still being kind but not pushing it. Alex even more so. I tried to become his friend so eventually over the years he's come to accept me as a friend. But even now you don't push it too far. Occasionally I have to come a bit hard and heavy and I think that helps because he knows you care. And that helps to build a relationship. To know that you can only go so far. If they go over the top they're pulled up.