Experiences – The Success/Failure Process
In my wife Gloria Walther’s and my book on successfully parenting three to five year old children, we talked about the importance of setting clear boundaries for your child and of, so to speak, saying, “That’s it! Please do that again” when they do something that you deemed appropriate and successful.
When you do the Success/Failure Process that I’m about to describe, you do a similar thing with your Unconscious. In this Process, you applaud your Unconscious for creating successes and you give it specific alternatives that you consider successful to replace what you consider to be failures that it has created.
As you repeatedly do the Success/Failure Process, your Unconscious will get the point and the daily number of successes will greatly increase and the daily number of failures will greatly decrease.
The Success/Failure Process utilizes only Framing, Dialoguing and Creating Imaginary
Experiences through hindsight. So you already know everything you need to do it.
Here are step-by-step instructions for doing the Success/Failure Process.
1. Each day, take a clean piece of paper, divide it into two columns, write “Successes” at the top of the left hand column and “Failures” at the top of the right hand one. Date the page at the top.
Under “Successes,” briefly note each of your Successes that day, one per line. Include both the little and the big successes.
For example, today is Wednesday, August 28, 2008. Thinking about my Successes today, I came up with the following Successes list.
1. I edited 5 chapters of the Parenting Book. 2. I remembered to water my Hydrangea plant.
3. I visited my chiropractor in Santa Barbara. As a result, my back feels much better.
4. I got my timing right and made the drive to Santa Barbara and back without delays, in about 1 ½ hours each way.
5. I remembered to put the current backup hard drive in the safe box in Santa Barbara and retrieve the old one.
6. I remembered to deposit the checks I finally received from my past due tenant.
7. I got Chloe (my Porsche) washed. She looks especially beautiful now, which I greatly enjoy.
8. I made dinner for my son Per and we enjoyed watching “The Bourne Ultimatum” together, critiquing the score and cinematography. Per showed me some possible art for his new album. We had a great time.
2. Similarly, under “Failures,” list each of what you perceive to be the day's Failures. Continuing with my review of today, August 28, I came up with only one failure to list.
1. I didn’t get to sleep until 3AM last night and got up at 6AM so I’m somewhat tired.
3. Then read through your Successes list.
After reading each “Success,” remember the experience it refers to, tune it up to a 10 level Imaginary Experience, place it in your Heart Chakra and say into your Heart Chakra, “That’s a Success. I'd like more of those! Please make that happen in ways that are for the highest good of me and of all concerned.”
I recalled each of the Successes on my list, one at a time, and where they were already a 10, in my imagination I surrounded that remembered Success with an imaginary ball of white light, placed it in my Heart Chakra and said, into my Heart Chakra, “That’s a Success. I’d like more of those. Please make that happen in ways that are for the highest good of me and of all concerned.” Two of the items on my Successes list weren’t 10’s as I remembered them. So I edited them until they were a 10. The results were as follows.
1. I edited 6 chapters of the Parenting Book, and created the Annotated Table of Contents for those chapters and wrote this Chapter of the Second Edition of “How to Get…”
2. I not only deposited the checks I received from my previously past due tenants but I received the September rent in advance and deposited that. One at a time, I modified my original memories to match the edited 10-level version, using my skill of hindsight. Once that Imaginary Experience was a 10, I imagined surrounding it with a ball of white light and placing it in my Heart Chakra. Then I said, into my Heart Chakra, “That’s a Success. I’d like more of those. Please make that happen in ways that are for the highest good of me and of all concerned.”
4. Next read through your “Failure” list.
In your imagination, using the skill of hindsight, modify each “Failure” in ways that make a 10, imagine surrounding that with a ball of white light and placing it in your Heart Chakra and say into your Heart Chakra, “That’s the way I’d like things to be in this situation in the future. Please make this happen in ways that are for the highest good of me and of all concerned.” Imagine breathing that Imaginary Experience and that instruction in and making it a part of you.
For example, I modified the one item on my Failures list as follows. As I initially wrote it, it was:
I didn’t get to sleep until 3AM last night and got up at 6AM so I’m tired. In my imagination, I changed that to:
I got to sleep at 11PM last night and felt completely rested when I arose at 6AM and I still feel filled with energy.
That was a 10 for me. So I surrounded that Imaginary Experience with a ball of white light, imagined placing it in my Heart Chakra and said, into my Heart Chakra, “That’s the way I’d like things to be in this situation in the future. Please make this happen in ways that are for the highest good of me and of all concerned.”
Then I imagined breathing that all in and making it a part of me.
Of course, it takes a lot longer to describe what I did than it took to do it.
After I had done the Success/Failure Process, I was filled with energy even though it