It can be asserted that women experience migration differently to men:
Migration is not a gender-neutral phenomenon (…) from the very moment they decide to migrate, women’s experience as migrants differs from those of men (Caritas, 2011, p. 2).
Arguably, traditional gendered expectations, as exist in Poland, make women’s migrations more problematic. Gendered ‘responsibilities’ in regard to work and care may make it more challenging for migrant women to balance their roles and exert individualism. Therefore, migration of women is perceived as more problematic than that of men (ibid.), and can lead to ‘transnational motherhood’, for instance (Lutz, 2011; Cieślik, 2012) (and ‘Euro-orphans, White, 2011). The term ‘sandwich generation’ was coined by the Institute for Public Policy Research (Ben-Galim & Silim, 2013) to reflect the recent changes with regard to people having to care for their children and their parents all at the same time. It is noteworthy that in regard to Polish migrant women (and men for that matter, not considered in this research) in the UK, geographical location comes into the equation. As a matter of fact, a number of the interviewed women talked of being ‘torn’ between wanting to provide support to their older parents in Poland and at the same time wishing to remain in the UK for other reasons (e.g. children in the UK; the UK life quality). Even though migration is often presented as individualistic, family networks play a crucial role in many migrants’ migratory decisions, as demonstrated in the previous chapters and as NELM theory postulates (Ryan, 2009, 2011; White, 2011). In regard to the interviewees, gendered expectations often appeared to be a strain as women felt obligated to consider a return to Poland to look after their older family members (cf. Finch & Mason, 1993). At the same time they wished to stay in the UK to ensure their children’s higher quality of life and to remain with their children’s father. They faced the need to balance care priorities in two locations at one time (cf. ‘double caring responsibilities’, Ryan et al., 2009). Thus, expectations related to care provision make female migration problematic. Arguably, gender
164 roles as well as women’s familial networks can translate into structures that inhibit women’s agency (cf. Hoang, 2011).
It has previously been acknowledged that family is one of the most important aspects in Polish people’s lives (cf. Keryk, 2010; Irek, 2011; Temple, 2011b; Temple & Judd, 2011; White, 2011; Cieślik, 2012). This research appears to support the assertion of the great importance of families and close familial ties in interviewees’ lives. In fact, some scholars refer to Poland as a country with a “strong motherhood ideology – meaning the general conviction that a child cannot grow up healthily without being cared for by its biological mother” (Lutz, 2010, p. 1653). The findings seem to confirm this to a certain extent. Some respondents talked of a ‘glorification’ of motherhood in Poland and being ostracised for leaving their young offspring in the hands of their grandmothers while their mothers participate in social events (e.g. Anna, Kasia). ‘Strong motherhood ideology’ in Poland (ibid.) is part of women’s rather tricky situation (i.e. the structural context) that involves somewhat conflicting roles and juggling competing responsibilities in two locations with a great distance between them. Moreover, it appears that the interviewees felt ‘entangled’ in their familial ties so strongly that their return to Poland, in many cases, was somewhat unwanted but almost inevitable. This was the case with Nikita, who felt obligated to go back to look after her mother following the death of her father. Nikita explained that this occurred when she stopped thinking of ever going back. She would not have returned if it was not for the need to provide care. Arguably, “compulsory caregiving, the expectation that it was her duty, to take responsibility for her parents, conflicted with her newfound independence” in the UK (Aranda, 2003, p. 622).
NIKITA (return migrant, 32): Well, I stopped planning on ever coming back… In my family well a tragedy has happened, my father died suddenly… so err I packed my stuff and I was in Poland the next day. Of course, I left everything in the UK and it wasn’t a problem at work and I went back after a month err after a month of being here [PL] I went back to the UK and I just decided I need to go back to my country, especially because my mum wasn’t well. She couldn’t handle it, she was seeing a psychiatrist, got some strange medication, which I told her not to take and I wanted to look after her… so I came back, I left everything, I found a job and I’m still here and everything somehow got sorted.
Olga, similarly to Nikita, was not planning on returning to Poland when certain external factors made her quite literally abandon her plans and join her parents in her home country. It seems as though Olga felt that she had no choice but to accept the suggestion to return. At the same
165 time, as she explained, there were other factors that contributed to her thinking of leaving the UK. Yet, the other reasons that Olga gave could have been a simple validation exercise that she subconsciously undertook in order to convince herself that a return was the right choice. However, it can be argued that the deciding factor was with regard to her grandfather falling ill. Thus, it can be asserted that in regard to both women, “adhering to gendered expectations came at the expense of her [their] professional career[s]” (Aranda, 2003, p. 622). They both abandoned their plans for further development in the UK and returned to Poland on the request (direct or implied) of their families.
OLGA (return migrant, 28): I mean there were just so many factors, work for one… the second err lots of my friends had gone back ...the majority had gone back home …and that made me think, hell why are they all going back? And the next thing was that my grandfather was ill and my grandmother couldn’t cope, my parents worked yeah, and you could tell that it was my grandfather’s final year yeah (…). So it was kind of like that, that kind of also played a role. On the other hand, my mum also always said, ‘you know we’re getting older every day,’ [laughs] and so on, so I decided to call it an adventure, my trip there yeah... When I came back, the first 3 months were terrible, it was basically awful. If someone had given me a ticket back [to the UK] I wouldn’t even have stopped to pack [laughs] I’d have just gone.
Perhaps in the case of both women quoted above, they felt settled in the UK but were somewhat ‘forced’ to abandon their plans due to unforeseen circumstances. Perhaps they conformed to gendered expectations of them as women. It seems that with regard to some respondents, family obligations supersede reasons for migrating in the first place. This relates more generally to the way family responsibilities seem to be negotiated by Polish migrant women. Finch and Mason (1993) previously researched this area in regard to British families. Whilst they found there was no clear consensus among British families in respect of the extent and nature of familial responsibilities, it can be argued that Polish women are faced with a relatively larger burden. This may be due to comparatively closer familial ties reported in Poland (and confirmed by many participants) or the way Polish women were socialised to match the image of ‘Matka Polka’ (cf. Titkow, 2012) (for more on ‘Matka Polka’ see section 8.2). Finch (1989) argued that assisting family cannot be assumed to be done solely out of a sense of duty; there is a more complex combination of motives (e.g. love, want, obedience, etc.) of which duty may be one. Kinga for instance, was ‘pulled in’ to the UK by her boyfriend at the time (now husband and father of her two children) who acted as a ‘magnet’ (Ryan, 2009; White, 2011). Thus, she may
166 be considered a ‘tied mover’ or ‘trailing wife’ (or rather a ‘trailing girlfriend/partner’) (Bruegel, 1996; Cooke, 2001). She admitted that she was satisfied with her life in Poland but was drawn to the UK by her partner. As time went by, Kinga got married and gave birth to her two daughters, all in the UK. She confessed that she never wanted to move away from Poland and that she wishes she had not done so. Kinga is now faced with a dilemma: take her children away from their country of birth, leave her husband and return to Poland, or stay in the UK. Kinga seems to think she will eventually return to Poland, in line with the ‘myth of return’ (cf. Anwar, 1979; Gmelch, 1980; Sinatti, 2011). Arguably, gendered expectations prevented Kinga from going back to Poland. As a mother and a wife, she may feel obligated to remain with the father of her children and her husband.
KINGA (migrant, 25): Honestly, I wouldn’t be [in the UK] but my children go to school here now and I wouldn’t want to disturb them and take them back [to Poland] because that would be really tough.
EDM: But you say that you would like to go back.
KINGA: Yes, of course, but when the children are a little older…
Marianna, among other reasons, came to the UK to get away from her husband. She was hoping he would appreciate her more on her return. However, while Marianna was in the UK, her teenage daughter (around 17-18 years of age at the time) became pregnant (as already outlined in the previous chapter). The daughter joined Marianna in the UK and she has been helping the daughter ever since then. Even though Marianna seems to want to return to Poland she admitted she needs to remain in the UK to help out her daughter and young grandson. This perhaps proves how ‘the strong motherhood ideology’ influences Polish migrant women and somewhat disrupts their plans for return. Some women migrants appear to be ‘sandwiched’ between contradicting gendered expectations that operate transnationally, proving particularly difficult to reconcile (cf. ‘the sandwich generation’, Ben-Galim & Silim, 2013).
MARIANNA (migrant, 48): I’m here now because she [my daughter] couldn’t cope on her own, right? … Basically, on the one hand I’ve got to help me [sic] daughter, she needs it, because the little one [grandson], well, you know, kids right? She also doesn’t see herself here either; you know she doesn’t have her life set up here actually. She’s got her partner, or friend, boyfriend or whatever, but that’s just kind of for now, you know, you don’t know if it’ll last, and now I see back home [in Poland], well, unfortunately, my husband has gone back to his old ways, he’s got his mates and he drinks, yeah? There’s no place for me now, maybe that’s why I think I don’t have anything to go back to at the moment.
167 In regard to close family members, the respondents appeared to have a very strong sense of responsibility and felt obligated to return to Poland (or plan to) if or when needed. This seemed to occur especially when the women in question do not have children of their own to care for. The interviewed women sometimes seemed to remain somewhat ‘trapped’ in familial ties. On occasion however, migration appears to have enabled them to be liberated from some of their familial ‘obligations’. Amelia, quoted below, who also has children, already started to think of what may happen when her parents, still today in good health, get older. She explained that she predominantly thinks of her children on the one hand and her parents on the other. This may be a good illustration of her being ‘sandwiched’ between somewhat conflicting gendered ‘responsibilities’. The sandwich generation (Ben-Galim & Silim, 2013), when applied to migrant women proves to be particularly difficult to reconcile since in their case there are two geographical locations to be managed.
AMELIA (migrant, 29): I feel, I’d like for example to be with my parents, but I think not right now, they’re still young so they can still take care of themselves [laughs]. You know, 50 isn’t old. You know, now I don’t look at things for me, I just would like it for my children, because I know that we didn’t have great prospects… But, for example, I wouldn’t want my children to go abroad for money, just to survive, yeah?
Julia, similarly to Amelia, had concerns about her mother. She explained that even though she has older siblings, they are unlikely to provide care when such a need arises as they have families of their own. Therefore, Julia appeared to have a very strong need and a sense of duty to keep her mother company, especially since otherwise she would live on her own. Therefore, the strong familial ties, explored in the previous chapters, appear to make gendered expectations particularly problematic for the Polish migrant women involved in this study. Arguably, Polish women are often socialised to meet those various gendered expectations which may later prove to be difficult to reconcile (cf. Watson, 1992; Lister et al., 2007; Erel, 2011).
JULIA (return migrant, 26): I kind of, yes felt, that I should stay because I’d never forgive myself if something happened, you know she is still on her feet, she’s only just 60 yeah, and you know she gets about and everything but, God if something happened, loneliness is the worst, right? …err [I’m still in Poland] because of my mum I think, I was worried about her you know, she brought up three children you know and yeah now she’s alone..
The empirical findings seem to support the assertion that Polish migrant women feel obligated to provide assistance to their families when such a need arises. This appears to be a considerable
168 constraint on their individual agency. Micro-structures, such as families, restrict women’s agentic powers (cf. Morawska, 2001; Bakewell, 2010). Arguably, gender identity and consequently gender roles can act as structures (Hoang, 2011). It has been noted that women are generally more likely to give relatives practical and personal support than are men (Finch & Mason, 1993). However, it appears as though Polish women have been socialised in a way that makes them ignore their personal desires in the situation when their families need assistance. What the researcher is trying to argue here, is that whilst it is understandable that perhaps most people value family and would not hesitate to support a relative, in Poland family values so deeply shape women’s priorities that they can sometimes undermine their own personal happiness (cf. Keryk, 2010; Temple, 2011b; Temple & Judd, 2011; Lutz, 2011; Cieślik, 2012). In spite of the way Polish women rationalise their thinking, from their accounts it seems to be evident that some have quite literally ‘sacrificed’ their own lives in order to attend to their families’ needs (cf. White, 2011). The next section provides conclusions drawn from the chapter.
7.5 Conclusion
With regard to the women involved in this research, a complex set of reasons was behind their decisions to remain in the UK (‘for the time being’). Although, the unpredictability of Polish migrants’ migratory intentions has been widely acknowledged (cf. Eade, Drinkwater & Garapich, 2006; Scullion & Pemberton, 2010) and seems to be supported in this research, some general trends emerge from this analysis. It is perhaps not a surprise that a single reason to remain or return could not be recognised. In both cases, Polish migrant women demonstrated a complex set of motives that led them to remain in the UK or return to Poland. Additionally, gendered expectations of them as women mattered greatly. Sometimes, women’s families made those expectations explicit; other times, women themselves felt compelled to follow what could be classed as their gender roles. With regard to migrants’ motivations to stay in the UK, economic reasons (similarly to the reasons behind their original migrations – see chapter six) seemed to play a major part. The ability to afford a decent life even when earning the British national minimum wage was mentioned on many occasions. Those who left their jobs in Poland appeared to prefer higher earnings (even in elementary jobs) than the work in their home country (even when holding a permanent position). This seems to be because when working in Poland, they cannot afford the same standard of living (e.g. a holiday) whereas in the UK they are able to do so. Financial motives appeared to be one of the most significant factors that make
169 Polish migrant women stay in the UK. This seemed to be particularly true when there was nothing else ‘pulling’ them back to Poland (e.g. parents, extended family, etc.). They preferred to stay in the UK and lead a more relaxed life with regard to their financial situation rather than enjoy a more family-orientated life in Poland. Economic advantages seemed to outweigh the disadvantages related to having to acquire and speak a foreign language and the rainy weather, for instance.
It appears that many Polish women migrants are active participants in family-orientated migration strategies and their conscious weighing up their chances is a confirmation of women’s active agency within a wider structural context. Many Polish migrant women seemed to become ‘entangled’ in further relationships or have developed other personal attachments which consequently prevented them from returning to their ‘home’ country. This may refer to being in a relationship with a British partner or a partner other than Polish who resides in the UK, or this may relate to having children in the UK with a non-Polish partner. These are perhaps the sort of connections that are difficult to overcome for migrants and migrant women in particular, since it is they who still undertake the lion’s share of the domestic and care work (Boyle, 2013; and with regards to Polish women: CBOS, 2013a, 2013b, 2013c). It can be asserted that the longer a migrant remains in the host country, the more attachments s/he develops. For some respondents remaining in the UK was appealing as they seemed to have nothing to return to in Poland. This may be because they left Poland at an early age and in consequence lost touch with friends or family there. As they never sought or secured a job in Poland, they perhaps would not feel very confident going back after, in many cases, a considerable period of time and trying to make their living there. This last motivation may be linked to a lack of direction (which may have brought them to the UK in the first place, as explored in the previous chapter) and being uncertain about what to do in Poland. Those migrants who are unsure about their future in Poland may have been in the UK for a long time and in consequence already have some attachments to this country (e.g. a job, friends, partner, etc.) which perhaps makes it easier to remain in the country rather than start afresh in another. Last but not least, those Polish women who simply enjoyed their life in the UK need to be