How To Hijack A “NO” And Turn It Into A “YES”

Student: I’d like to share something from the last session with Angela from when we were doing the exercises. I was quite overwhelmed, really, because I was thinking about a pet that’s very special to me who we lost, a dachshund who died quite tragically. He would have made a great hypnotist, he loved to look in your eyes. What was amazing is that the lady that I was working with had this image of an animal and I couldn’t even describe it. Angela, can you describe what you saw?

Angela: Well it was just his dog’s face appeared right in front of my eyes as I closed my eyes. It faded quite quick, it had floppy ears and everything so I had to check to see.

Student: I’m constantly finding amazing things happening to me since I arrived here.

I just found that incredible, thank you.

Igor: Thank you for sharing. (applause)

By the way, notice the emotion; there’s clearly a lot of emotion behind that. Thanks for sharing that. Do you see what kinds of things hypnosis can stir up and what doors it can open inside the mind? This is why I’m going to ask you to be extra careful because this isn’t a toy you’re playing with.

Be respectful of what you’re using.

Are you beginning to get a much finer appreciation of what I mean when I say hypnosis is anything but a casual relationship? When something is as important as this you don’t want to be abusing it, or using it everywhere you go because you could leave a lot of emotional shrapnel behind which isn’t very useful. If you do it in a traditional manner in a way that’s helpful to people around you then it can be a real force for good.

Then, by all means be the masked stranger that rides in and crazy stuff happens and they ride out and go who was that masked man? Wow, I’m so glad he came, like the TV show back in the 80s, I think it was Canadian,

115

POCHV ©Hypnosis Training Academy All Rights Reserved The Littlest Hobo, the dog that solves all problems. The point though is you want to be careful about how and when you apply this. It’s useful to be influential with it which is the purpose of being here, but this is when it’s important to think about what the win-win is here.

Are you doing this because you want something at their expense, in which case I strongly recommend you rethink things, because the penalty you’ll pay for that will be very steep? Or, are you doing it because you’re really helping them to get unstuck from something so they can start accepting the idea of a way of life that would be of real value to them? In which case what you’re doing is getting them unstuck and then making offers.

If your offer is good enough they’ll take it. If your offer is no good then they shouldn’t be taking it. So if you’re trying to sell some type of dodgy business scheme where they sell their life savings to you and you run away going ha-ha now I’m rich and you aren’t, well I won’t be visiting you in jail, let’s put it that way. Thanks you for that, I really appreciate you saying that.

Student: When we finished the last induction there, it made me think, hypnosis is something you’re doing to someone, it’s something you’re doing with them. It was very profound.

Igor: Yes, and I’ll go one step further. Hypnosis isn’t only when you do something with someone it’s something you become and then it just happens naturally. Imagine what the world would be like if you’d mastered this Instant Rapport Technique to the point where, whenever you needed to really be friends with someone or to open them up, it just naturally turned on without you even having to think about it. It was just there and people open up to you in a way that you’ve been experiencing so far.

There’s not much you have to do at that point, you simply need to be as respectful and kind enough to point out some ways of being different, opening them up and so on and the magic almost happens by itself at that point. It’s a great insight to have that it’s something you do with people and the next step on your progression will be to realize it’s something you become, something you are.

116

Student: I just want to say thank you, I think it’s important to create an environment like this. I’ve been using hypnosis myself with clients and I think the root of most problems is just loneliness and people are just dying for intimacy sometimes, a safe intimacy. I just think it’s lovely meeting all you fabulous people as well and knowing that there’s good people out there, you know, so thank you.

Igor: Very nice, thank you for saying that and just to add something to it, although we won’t go down the whole therapeutic route here, there’s one really nice description I heard once of hypnotherapy which is when you’re thinking of therapy - your job as a therapist is to take that part of the other person that they themselves can’t accept by themselves and has mistreated - they think it’s ugly, bad, disgusting or whatever - and treat it with enough respect for long enough that they can learn to accept it. In accepting it, they get to transform it, which is another aspect of the same thing you’re talking about. Although we won’t be going down the therapeutic road, because that requires another skill set on top of this.

Student: I just wanted to say something unexpected happened, I haven’t been to one of these seminars before and I’m not in hypnosis myself, but I found that in spite of being very reticent yesterday, and I didn’t make any effort to socialize guys, I made some really good friends in the coffee cue, so something is going on.

Igor: Something is going on, I agree.

Hypnotic Context

All right, let’s see if we can take this going on and intensify it some more. What I’d like you to do is get back in the same groups you were beforehand. I think we’ve had a slight reshuffling, so return to your groups and recount and let me know if there’s an odd number by having one member stand up. Now everyone should be in an even numbered group. Please choose a different person inside your group to do this next exercise with.

117

This exercise is just to do some skill building. I’d like you to have one person in each pair to put your hand up, you’re the hypnotist. In a moment we’ll start the exercise and I’ll give you two minutes apiece to do this one. As the hypnotist I’d like you to start off with your eyes closed. Take yourself through the Instant Rapport Technique and remember the process is very simple, think of a person or pet that you really had a close connection to, not romantic.

Anyone know why I want you to avoid any romantic memories? It’s because you don’t want to make the person think you want to sleep with them, because either they might agree with you and then you’re in a pickle, or they don’t really want that and then their resistance goes even higher. So please keep the romantic elements out of this one.

Stage 1 – Instant Rapport Technique - When you feel the feelings allow them to grow and let go of the memory. Once you have enough of that feeling being strong enough allow it to surround you and then move through the other person and then you can open your eyes and look at them.

Stage 2 - You’ll be doing the same looking process that you did a while ago and hopefully that will take less than a minute to warm up on.

Stage 3 – This is the important part. At some point once you’ve opened your eyes and made eye contact I’d like for you to begin talking with them. For this exercise I don’t care what you say. You can repeat a word, start talking randomly and if you need something to say use your Power Words and Trance Themes. I don’t want you to have you think of what to say. Saying anything is appropriate at this point.

Here’s the trick. Only start speaking as slowly and gradually as you can maintain or increase this feeling of rapport you’ve been developing. If your rate of speech somehow diminishes that then stop, reconnect – Instant Rapport Technique and so on, and start again. You’ll start with the Instant Rapport Technique, you’ll open your eyes, maintain eye contact and at some point you’ll begin talking about anything. For all intents and purposes the content is irrelevant.

You want to talk as slowly, smoothly and with whatever tonality will continue to maintain that feeling you have inside. You might erode it a little because you’ve gone from non-verbal to verbal which is okay, but if it gets eroded more than a little bit then pause and reset. The key is maintaining the state of mind whilst engaging in speech and maintain eye contact throughout the entire process.

118

This is our special fitness program for assistants. (running the mic around)

Student: As a subject I noticed that I was immediately very interested in everything he had to say. I really wanted to hear it instantly.

Igor: Did anyone else notice this? This is one of the ways you can make really boring things sound great. (laughter) I’m serious, it’s strange, but it’s true.

Student: My hypnotist gave me a hypnotic gift, she’s really good, learned it from you, a precious gift.

Igor: Gift giving is good, especially when hypnotic gifts don’t cost you anything.

Excellent, thank you.

Student: I think it’s interesting how powerful that connection is. When I was doing this one I was thinking about my last partner from the last exercise, then this one completely filled my brain.

Igor: What’s happening is that you’re developing more and more reference experiences. It started with a friend but now you’ve had some cool inductions you’ve been doing and all that is adding up. Who here feels the Hypnosis Room is becoming decorated nicely, some cool furniture in here and good memories going on in here?

This is how it should be. That means the more you do this, not only does it become more pleasant but the better you come at it because it’s all nicely located in the right place. The next thing you’ll find that is, as you live your everyday life and you accidentally fall into a hypnotic context or situation - which everyone does even if they don’t recognize it - those memories then will automatically be stored in the Hypnosis Room and it will still enrich it.

Because the same mechanisms are being activated, only now you know how to enter that room on purpose, which is a good thing.

Student: It seemed very strange and it’s the first time it’s happened; I don’t know if anyone every watches Sci-Fi or Star Trek, the concept of the retractor beam, I was very aware and could almost picture this line, this ray that

119

POCHV ©Hypnosis Training Academy All Rights Reserved came from my heart right to his for the entire duration. When you said change places I felt it go right back again. It’s the first time it’s happened in the weekend, very strange.

Igor: It’s powerful. What you just discovered is a hypnotic unconscious symbolism in action. It’s one of the ways you can use the Dynamic Imagery Induction. When I first taught instant rapport and I believe on the original Power of Conversational Hypnosis audio home study program I still taught in that way - was this idea of a hand reaching out and touching the other person, because I had a very similar version of that. Now I just give you more general things and let people find their own metaphor because after all what is a meta for? (laughter)

Student: It’s a question really, Igor. I normally speak quite loudly, project quite well.

During the second process when I was the hypnotist I just felt I needed to speak softer for the person I was with. It was absolutely natural and wasn’t my pitch or tone, it was a lot lower, a lot slower, a lot softer.

Igor: You can hear it now, can’t you guys? You’re developing a range which is important, and more important than that, you’re starting to develop the ability to match your ideas to your language to the emotional context that’s wrapped up in it. In our society we don’t really pay attention to the emotional context of things, we just react to it, which means half the time we don’t know why something failed. Whereas if you were looking at it from just a purely emotional filter, it would be obvious without even looking at the content of something, why things are failing.

Let me give you a quick example. In the medical industry there’s a guy who now specializes in predicting which doctors will be sued often from being played a two minute audio clip of random bits of conversation within something like 99% accuracy. He can still be 80-90% accurate with a 10 second audio clip. What is he listening out for? Is it all the words? No. He’s learned to put on this emotional filter and as soon as he hears that someone is being emotionally harsh, dismissive, or anything like that, then he knows that doctor is getting sued.

That’s just how it works, not necessarily by that patient but that’s the kind of doctor that gets sued by patients. So, if you think about the emotional things like oh, it’s this frilly, fluffy let’s go hug a bunny thing, there’s serious cash involved in this whole process as well. If our society

120

POCHV ©Hypnosis Training Academy All Rights Reserved understood it better we’d not only be wealthier but we’d be a lot happier, because there would be a lot more seamless interaction. Congratulations on discovering that.

Student: I find it very beautiful how here, while I was talking, before I wasn’t so good at talking to groups or so, I am a musician, I can play for hours, but speaking is very difficult for me, but now that the building stones are already laid there, when it gets a good feeling, I can be creative and pick up those building stones and build a beautiful house where we are living in.

Igor: Perfect, I like that. By the way, if you’re a performer like a magician, if you start bringing language like this into your act it works very well, oh, a musician, oh well forget it, but if you’re a magician this stuff really works well.

Student: I just wanted to agree with my hypnotist. I just wanted to say yes, yes, yes.

Igor: Yes! I don’t know what you’re saying, but yes! I’ve been there.

Are you guys beginning to see the value in what you’ve done? You haven’t even been through a day and a half of training yet. We’re in the first morning of the second day. Look what you’re already achieving. Who here feels if you left right now not only would you have gotten your money’s worth but you would be insanely more influential in your life using the skills you’ve already learned? Hands up please. And we’re only half way through the program.

Student: I just wanted to say that I’m glad you said what you said, say anything it doesn’t matter, talk rubbish. I actually found that I couldn’t talk rubbish, the respect was there, the feelings were there, so I couldn’t have. I’m so glad you said it because that brought it to mind.

Igor: Yes and this is important. We’ve done a few versions of this already and I’m glad it triggered here, so I’ll reiterate this principle. We are meaning making machines and cannot be incoherent. Even incoherent people aren’t incoherent they just work on a very different logic. The point is though, when you’re trying too hard to do something it will all come out wrong.

121

POCHV ©Hypnosis Training Academy All Rights Reserved By not trying so hard all the useful things start coming out and ultimately when you’re using Conversational Hypnosis all you know is here’s a person in front of me, here’s the place we want to end up in, let’s find out what happens in between and all these tools will then apply themselves or disengage, depending on what needs to happen at that point and time.

Student: Something just clicked in my head as we did this exercise. I’m a coach, so I use some of these techniques every day, but when I was talking to my partner, I was saying, I was feeling happiness and that’s what we’re for.

We’re here to sell happiness and if we feel it inside we sell it.

Igor: There you go. I think that’s a great way of looking at it.

Student: We made an extra try with my partner here. We are from different countries, she is from Holland and I am from Slovania and we tried to speak in our languages and it was funny, I didn’t understand no word from her, but I agreed totally with her.

[laughter and applause]

Igor: It’s funny, one of the assistants here did the same thing. We had a chat once a long time ago about the problems of hypnosis and the right words and I was attempting to show him a much cruder version of H+ stuff because it wasn’t as evolved back then. I sat down and started talking to him in German and he had no idea what I was talking about, but within a few minutes he came back saying what the hell did you just do? I said it was good wasn’t it?

So, you understand now that creating this hypnotic context is what we’ve spending most of our time doing and yes we have some interesting gadgets we can use inside that context, but if you don’t set the context up correctly none of the gadgets will be of value to you whatsoever. Let’s

In document Igor Ledachowski Power of conversational hypnoasis - Transcript Manual (Page 114-138)