The importance of early attachment

Levy and Orlans (1998:1) defines attachment as “the deep enduring connection established between a child and caregiver in the first several years of life”. John Bowlby developed the Attachment theory and views the infant and the mother as participants in a consistent, self-regulating and mutually interacting system (Bowlby 1969). Bowlby is of opinion that, in order for an infant to grow up mentally healthy, the infant should experience an intimate, warm and continuous relationship with its mother or primary caregiver (Bowlby 1969). Attachment therefore indicates an ongoing, reciprocal relationship in which individuals are attuned to each other, give and receive love, and seek comfort (Gray 2012). The attachment theory thus explains how much the caregiver’s relationship with the child influences development. Norcross (2002) highlights four definitional features: proximity seeking, comfort seeking, separation

anxiety and relying on the attachment figure as a secure base from which to explore and a safe haven to return to. Under optimal conditions a stable sense of attachment security ar most likely to develop when:

 the attachment figures were available in times of need having basic physical and emotional needs met;

 attuned parental responses were applied;  have a regulated environment;

 co-regulating interactions with caregivers;  modulation of arousal;

 nurturing touch, and activities that stimulate the body and brain to develop and operate at full capacity.

 the child could experience others as trustworthy and the self as worthy (Bath 2008; Becker-Weidman & Hughes 2008; Norcross 2002).

Children who begin their lives with a secure attachment fare better during their development in the following areas (Levy & Orlans 1998:3):

 Self-esteem;

 Independence and autonomy;  Resilience in the face of adversity;  Ability to manage impulses and feelings;  Long-term friendships;

 Relationships with parents, caregivers, and other authority figures;  Pro-social coping skills;

 Trust, intimacy, and affection;

 Positive ad hopeful belief system about self, family, and society;  Empathy, compassion, and conscience;

 Behavioral performance and ac academic success in school; and

Levy and Orlans (1998:3) also identify risk factors which can unfold during a child’s development if they began their lives with disrupted attachments:

 Low self-esteem;

 Needy, clingy, or pseudo-independent;

 Decompensate when faced with stress and adversity;  Lack self-control;

 Unable to develop and maintain friendships;

 Alienated from and oppositional with parents, caregivers, and other authority figures;

 Antisocial attitudes and behaviors;  Aggression and violence;

 Incapable of genuine trust, intimacy, and affection;

 Negative, hopeless, and pessimistic view of self, family, and society;  Lack empathy, compassion, and remorse;

 Behavioral and academic problems at school; and

 Perpetuate the cycle of maltreatment and attachment disorder in their own children when they reach adulthood.

Ainsworth expanded on Bowlby’s work in her famous “Strange Situation” study. This study involved observing children between the ages of 12-18 months responding to a situation in which they were briefly left alone and then reunited with their mother. Based on these observations, Ainsworth concluded that there were three major styles of attachment with their characteristics (Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters & Wall 1978):

Secure attachment

As children:

 Are able to separate from parent

 Greet the return of parents with positive behaviour  Prefers parents to strangers

As adults:

 Have trusting, lasting relationships  Tend to have high self-esteem

 Are comfortable sharing feelings with friends and partners  Seek out social support

Ambivalent-insecure attachment

As children:

 May be extremely suspicious of strangers

 Display distress when separated from a parent or caregiver

 Do not appear to be comforted when their parents return. Child might even passively reject the parent by refusing comfort or display direct aggressions towards the parent or caregiver.

As adults:

 Could feel reluctant about becoming close to others

 Worry that their partner does not love them, which could lead to frequent breakups

 Can become very distraught after the end of a relationship Avoidant-insecure attachment:

As children:

 Tend to avoid parents and caregivers usually after a period of absence

 Might not reject attention from their parent but neither do they seek contact or comfort

 They do not show preference between a parent and a complete stranger As adults:

 May have difficulty with intimacy and close relationships

 Do not invest much emotion in social and romantic relationships. Show little distress when a relationship ends

 Fail to support partners during stressful times and show an inability to share feelings, thoughts and emotions with partners.

Attachment and trauma in the adolescent

According to Geldard and Geldard (2010:19), attachment problems are one of the unresolved issues that need to be looked into in understanding adolescent behaviour. He defines attachment challenges as “the tendency of a child to repeatedly seek closeness with a specific person, usually the mother, in order to reduce internal tension.” The kind of attachments a child develops with his caregiver has an effect on the child’s development throughout his life and how he deals with stressful and traumatic situations. Providing a nurturing environment is, according to Wilkinson (2010), the key to emotional wellbeing and thus positive attachments. He elaborates on this topic by stating that secure and loving care giving is important for an individual to develop to his or her full potential. Furthermore, “parent’s model containment of anxiety and difficult emotions for their children and their children learn from them” (Fargher & Dooley 2011:3). The authors explain that parents then act as ‘gatekeepers’ protecting their baby from any situation that the baby cannot cope with or endure. When experiencing this security, the baby internalises this function; therefore the parents help their children to think emotionally and process anxiety and deal with it in ordinary life. It can then be argued that the care given by the parents thus reflects the parents’ own early experience of being cared for and therefore the parents’ own attachment style (Wilkinson 2010). Attachment problems have been linked in adolescents to eating disorders, substance abuse, violence, poor self-image and anxiety (Wenar & Kerig 2006). Adverse childhood experiences are therefore a strong predictor of emotional andphysical problems in adulthood (Broad & Wheeler 2006).