Learning to connect to the struggle in order to grow

This theme revolves around learning through experience that personal growth comes from embracing struggles.

Emily speaks of embracing struggle, in being able to explore the group conflicts and difficulties in order to grow and develop as individuals and as a group. She also refers to a dynamic where exposing and exploring difficulties supports growth, but also leaves scars and reminders of those difficulties. She goes on to describe a need to embrace the internal struggles between the personal and professional, that is, her history and her present, and her personal values and clinical practice.

“You feel a bit euphoric when it’s all come together and it’s all been for a purpose (...) you have to trust in the process. You have to trust that you’ll get there and you’ll be able to pull it off, although you doubt it at times and sometimes majorly doubt it…So it’s nice to be proven wrong or proven right depending on what your outlook was. (...) We thought we had it sussed in the first one and we were like, ‘oh look how reflective we are’ and ‘we’re all about the process’ and then obviously we missed a great big thing where someone felt marginalised so we needed to go through all that in order to be stronger. I don’t know if it’s true but you hear about, like, if you break a bone and it grows back stronger…it’s almost like that. But the cracks will still show…you will be stronger but you’ll also have scars and sensitivities so you won’t be perfect.” (Emily)

“You can’t really separate (...) the professional and the personal…You bring your own values, you bring your context and that’s gonna influence your clinical work for the good and the bad so you need to be aware of...you know, what you bring with you (...) better to recognise it and embrace it than deny that it’s there.” (Emily)

Here one can see the benefits, described earlier; that growth, awareness and development can come from this connection with the struggle and with the intensity of the experience. It would seem that the willingness to embrace this is crucial.

Michelle describes a need to emotionally connect to all aspects of the PBL process, as it becomes the most valuable aspect of clinical practice. Angela speaks of this emotional connectedness, in terms of developing both her personal and professional identities.

“I think it’s wonderful; I think being able to connect with the struggle is so important and I think the emotional experience of PBL is the thing that drives me mad about it (laughs) but it’s always the thing that I get a lot of value out of and it’s the things, even when I go away and research a particular thing relating to a case that we’re working with and connect with the kind of true stories about the things that are going on, the fact that I can emotionally connect with those things, it brings a different level to that. Things have a different meaning when you can appreciate what it might feel like to go through that or connect with what that person might have experienced and I think it’s those things that are the better aspects that come out of PBL and they’re the things that as a clinician - I’d be really, losing those things in the future you know, when people become tired and burnt out and stuff - that would be the thing that worries me most. ‘Cos I just think, you can’t really learn that in a book (laughs) or you know, be taught it in a lecture. I think you have to kind of experience it really to know the value of it.” (Michelle)

“…I’m sure PBL has a large part to play in shaping your personal and professional identity…because we’ve looked back at our tapes and we can see how different they are from our more recent presentations. We can see that we’re evolving. I think when you do something so intense, if you’re not affected by it or somewhat changed by it, then how do you know what’s going on? Once you start to let it, there’s something about it that you don’t get in other parts of the course training.” (Angela)

Both Peter and Olivia describe a need to take a risk in embracing the struggle, with Peter also disclosing a desire for others to join him in just jumping in. For Olivia, it was more a case of being pushed into the process and trusting it would work out in the end.

“I’m an ‘all-in’ kinda guy. If you wanna get something out of it you put yourself in and by putting yourself in…that’s what creates the safety… people can see the trust that it can be safe. Many times I’ve felt like you can put yourself in and then other people wanna put themselves more or less differently and it can then be difficult and I really struggle with that, it’s been quite hard. So I found that quite difficult and wanting other people to be in or out…in order to get the most out you’ve almost gotta throw yourself in and then you’ll have a bit of the rough time but then that’s when you actually, as a group, you may have more of a strength…” (Peter)

“I remember somebody in our group said, ‘I hated it at the time but I can really see the point, so thank you for making us do it’. And I agree, wholeheartedly. I think even in the moment, when you really hated it and you were like, ‘I know there’s a reason we’re doing this and I’m sure that it will make me better psychologist and possibly be a better person but really, it’s just rude and mean!’ and ‘I don’t wanna cry anymore’.” (Olivia)

It seems that others have to be willing to embrace the struggle too: when they are not this can be frustrating, as it can be difficult to work with people with different needs and outlooks and values. Sometimes people can join in the embracing of the struggle and are able see the benefits of this in reflection; however for some, unwillingness remains – and thus for those who embrace the struggle, their frustration remains.