Many people accept the need for approval from others into their lives because:
• They believe it will validate them and make them feel better
• They believe it helps them fit in with the crowd • They believe it protects them from winding up alone • They believe it will guide them to make right decisions • They believe it will give them a sign that they are OK and
going in the right direction
• They believe it will reinforce their self confidence, self esteem and their sense of self worth
• They believe it will make them feel like a good and likeable person
• They believe that it will make them feel loved by others • They believe it will make them feel better about
themselves
• They believe that it protects them from becoming a bad person.
• They believe it will improve their relationships.
Summary Statement:
In summary people accept the need for approval from others into their lives because they believe it will improve the overall quality of their lives.
Is this what you believe?
If so, please go on to the Section A.
If not, reflect on whether you feel you are still prone to feeling the need for approval from others in the future. If you feel you are prone then please go on to Section A.
If you feel that you are completely free of the need for approval from others then I wish to congratulate you on this truly remarkable accomplishment!
You can go on to the next chapter.
Section A
Recall briefly the last time you experienced this need for approval and notice how it made you feel inside.
Do you feel any of the following? • Dependent
• Needy • Weak
• Not in control of your own life
• Inadequate • Helpless • Powerless • Incomplete • Sad • Anxious • Nervous • Worried
• Like your heart just sank
• Like yourself worth just vanished • Like your mood just plummeted • Like your energy just got depleted • Like your stress level just went up • Shame
• Self hate or self disgust.
• Like your self-esteem just went lower. • Angry or frustrated
• Enslaved • Like rebelling • Unattractive
Do you recognize how the need for approval from others is ruining the quality of your inner emotional and physical state and therefore the quality of your life?
Do you recognize how this result contradicts what you "believe" about the need for approval from others (the Summary
Statement)?
Can these two contradictory statements be simultaneously true?
If you're not sure try these two statements:
You are sitting down right now
You are standing up right now
These two conflicting statements are clearly NOT both true at the same time for you are they?
Hence the two conflicting statements about the need for approval from others:
A) The need for approval from others improves the quality of my life
B) The need for approval from others reduces the quality of my life
Cannot be simultaneously true.
When you focus on the experience of the need for approval from others that you feel inside while recalling an unpleasant
experience involving it do you feel better OR worse?
Which statement above A) or B) resonates with what you feel inside?
Most people recognize that the needing approval from others makes them feel worse whenever they bring it into their bodies.
This clearly would make: B) True and A) False.
Most people however unconsciously believe that: A) Is True and B) is False
In other words most people, without realizing it are choosing to believe that a false statement about the need (the Summary Statement) is actually the truth about it.
These people are clearly lying to themselves about this without realizing it.
If this is you are you aware of how you have been lying to yourself about what it means to accept the need for approval from others into your life?
If so, do you wish to stop lying to yourself about the need to accept the need for approval from others into your life?
If so, there are three steps to begin freeing yourself from the need for approval from others:
1) From the Core of Your Self make the following statement sincerely:
“I request that the lie that the need for approval from others improves the quality of my life be purged from my life forever."
2) Then again from the Core of Your Self make the following statement sincerely:
"I request that all need for approval from others and any unconscious beliefs that anchor it in my body be purged from my life forever"
3) Finally, contemplate how you would live your life without the need for approval from others reducing the quality of your experience and spend some time
visualizing this new state of being. Then make the following sincere statement form the Core of Your Self: “I desire to live my life in this way from now on.
Now notice how you feel inside. If all went well i.e. you followed and understood the exercise step by step and were sincere in your desire to be free of the need for approval then you might be feeling some or all of the following:
You may be feeling a sense of relief, joyful, happy, lighter (both emotionally and physically), feeling more like your real Self, feeling relaxed, having a inner sense of peace, or perhaps noticing that your level of energy has increased.
If you've achieved this then I wish to congratulate you on your accomplishment!