WHAT DO YOU SAY NEXT?

Excellent. So you’ve approached a woman, said something to her that’s based on your shared surrounds, you’ve injected some emotion, and you’ve asked her a question which she has responded to.

Now what?

Simple. First of all: get out of your head. If you’re busy thinking about what you’re going to say next and how that might seem to her, you’re literally setting yourself up for failure because you’re not going to be able to respond appropriately to what she’s just said to you. You’ll end up saying something conventional and unoriginal, or a canned line that doesn’t quite gel with the opener, and she’ll realize something’s ‘off’ – and she’ll also realize that you haven’t been paying attention to her.

So: pay attention to your environment. If you’re worried about ‘what to say next’ once she’s responded to your opening statement, try this on for size: the best thing you can

possibly do to equip yourself with ‘ammo’ for when your turn comes up is simply to listen to what she’s saying.

Pay attention to her. Pay attention to what she’s saying and how she’s saying it. Look out for any ROOT WORDS that are based in emotion or another strong subtext.

For example, if she’d responded to your earlier question about scary movies with

something like this: ‘Ugh. To be honest with you, I actually really hate scary movies. I’m actually only in this section because my friend’s sick and she wanted me to get something for her to watch, and she loves scary movies.’

Where do you go from here?

Well, a lot of men would seize on the obvious and ask about her sick friend, thinking that this will make them seem ‘nice’ and caring.

to do that. It’s a dead end – once she’s told you what’s wrong with her friend, where are you supposed to go from there? Your only options are more morbid stuff related to ill health, and frankly, that’s not something you should be talking about with a woman. (Never talk about anything related to sickness with women. Health is sexy and connotes STRENGTH, which is – you guessed it – an integral part of being a MAN. Don’t get bogged down in this and lie about what’s wrong if you’ve got a toothache, but don’t dwell on it either. Talking about sickness, or diseases that you’ve had, will turn her OFF you.) So then … how are you meant to know what to do next?

Look out for the ROOT WORDS. These are the words that have emotion attached to them. The root words in what she said were honest, hate, and only.

How are you meant to know which the root words are?

You’ll know, because they all tell you something about what she’s FEELING, and/or what she’s like as a person.

The possibilities for conversation on these subjects are literally endless.

So, you could decide to focus on the root word ‘honest’, and say something like, ‘Wow, you hate scary movies? Big ups to you for even venturing in this part of the store then, the covers are enough to give any horror novices the heebie-jeebies.’

And then ask a question, so she doesn’t feel pressured to carry the conversation for you: ‘But why do you hate scary movies?’

Or, you could focus on the root word honest, and say, ‘Hmm, honesty. That’s unusual in these parts. I’ve gotta say, being honest with someone you’ve just met about how you hate the very movies that they’ve professed undying love for is pretty unusual.’

And then ask a question: ‘So what kinds of movies float your boat?’

And then make a perceptive statement about her: ‘Going on our acquaintance so far, I’d say you’re the kind of person who enjoys really niche-type movies … like Australian art- house, or British comedy … but I could be wrong.’

SIDE NOTE: If you want to pique a woman’s interest, don’t ask her questions, just make

statements about conclusions you’ve drawn about her.

These conclusions are even better if they’re not serious: make them seem jokey and personal, like the example above (‘you seem like the kind of woman who…’ and she’ll be intrigued.

She may ask you, ‘Why, what makes you say that?’, to which you should say something

evasive: ‘I can just tell from looking at you that you’re one of those high-brow-type

women. I bet you tutor Philosophy students in your spare time, too. And you probably have a private library at home that’s packed with books bound in nothing but leather.’ The further you take the joke, the funnier and more outrageous it gets, and the flirtier the atmosphere becomes.

(TIP: It’s best if you say this with a cheeky grin, or a completely deadpan expression. The latter is slightly more ‘risky’, because some women won’t know what to make of you – but you’ll also make a bigger impression on the ones who are OK with kidding around like that.)

Making ‘observational statements’ about a woman like that is a very flirty thing to do. The unspoken implication, of course, is that you’ve been paying enough attention to her to draw a conclusion in the first place, and that you’re the kind of guy who’s got a strong enough personality to kid around with strangers …

… and, it proves to her that you’re a perceptive, analytical kind of guy who’s been paying

attention to her.

But I digress …

Back to the root words: you could also focus on the word ‘only’, and say something like, ‘You only came down here to get a movie for your friend? You mean you don’t even like watching movies? You know, I’ve heard about people like you, but I never realized they actually existed. How do you fill the gaping void in your life where movie-watching would otherwise be?’

Responses of this sort balance you out nicely in her eyes. They prove that you are a perceptive guy who’s able to recognize and comment on things about her that she’s only made a passing reference to.

They also prove that you were actually listening to her, rather than thinking about what to say next or checking her out.

And they also tell her a few more things about what kind of guy you are, and let her fill in the blanks a little bit.

Looking out for root words, and using them to keep the conversation going, will ensure that you always have something to say next, and that you will never get caught in a dead-end conversation that has nowhere to go. And the best part is, it requires very little forethought other than something to initiate a conversation with. If she responds, she will usually say something that you can use.