Sub-theme 1: Mixed response to identify shaping of gay men

The purpose of Ulwaluko is to acquire a new status in society as a ‘real man’ and carry a family name (Mtshiselwa, 2011). Mxolisi argued:

Mxolisi: None of those boys like being called latties or Inkwenkwe (little boy) and by going to the mountains they will be called indoda (a man) no matter how old they are and they love that power which comes with being called indoda (a man).

Xoli added:

Xoli: Like the experience that I’ve gained there is knowledge that I was clueless about and ja by being there I’ve learnt so many things. And they have made me strong and it has given me that courage to say what I want to say and I want people to respect me as a man and not just as a gay man because we all say we are men when we are coming from the bush so if you have a problem with me being a man then you should go back to the bush cause we have gone through the same experiences and teachings.”

This theme highlights how the experiences of being through Ulwaluko helps to shape identities as mentioned by Xoli that although they are gay men they are still men who have undergone the same teachings as all the initiates who are now men. He further argued how much he also deserves the respect that all men receive as the experience has also made him the ideal strong man with courage and knowledge. This could be a recognition that identifying as a man has benefits within hegemonic masculinity (Connell, 1995) in that you are respected and taken seriously. According to Mavundla et al. (2009), Ulwaluko gives a man, according to the Xhosa culture, respect and such respect is impossible to attain if one fails to follow the Xhosa tradition.

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Xoli: It teaches you a lot about being a Xhosa man. It changes you as a Xhosa man. You show respect to others and others show respect to you.

John further suggested why Ulwaluko is necessary for identity shaping as he indicates the importance of knowing your family history and morals so that it can be passed on to your children for guidance and in shaping their identity. However, it appears to be referring to children attained through heterosexual relationships and not via adoption or surrogacy as a gay man. For example

John: like for example there are guys who grew up hiding themselves and don’t want to be recognized that they are actually gay and then start engaging in heterosexual sex and having children if they don’t engage in these rituals how are they going to teach their kids? So you need to give your child the option to either choose also if whether they would want to go through it or not cause you would have taught them… It is also important for your child to know who are their ancestors and know where they belong in terms of culture…”

Internalised homophobia may also be present within these gay men as they may think that they do not have a right to have children. Frost & Meyer (2009) define internalized homophobia as the negative social attitudes towards the self of a gay person and its extreme form which can lead to the rejection of one’s sexual orientation. Nadal & Davids (2015) further argue that although most gay men can love themselves and be proud of their identities, fragments of internalized homophobia might always exist as Social Construction has taught that being different or gender-nonconforming is bad.

Hunter (2005) however, argues that the ‘real man’ ideology which the rite of passage is hoping to achieve symbolizes a masculine ideal that stands in direct contradiction of how the same-sex sexuality is viewed in many parts of South Africa and how so much of those teachings done in the traditional circumcision are unnecessary or unbeneficial for their identity shaping. This view is supported by most of the research participants who argued how their experience was of little to no value to them as gay men and their identities. For example:

Alex: they always tell you that if you came back from there without knowing nothing (sic) your luck of finding a woman is limited. Unfortunately, though it touches a lot on how to treat a woman which is a difficult thing as a gay man.

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The notion is also evident in Bongani’s and Jake’s statements where they show how some of the teachings were aimed at getting them ready to date women with emphasis on the teachings of power over women and young men.

Bongani: They were putting it in such a way that they want you to be ready to be dating women and or to get married or whatever. And that is why I said it was just useless to me and I just knew that I wasn’t going to do it.

Jake: eish…sometime they will talk about women will now have respect for you. Like they will be like you’ll be a man among other men. They say uyindoda emadodeni…

In support of the statements made by the participants, Lynch & Clayton (2016) describe how masculinities, specifically in relation to traditional cultures such as Ulwaluko are only structured in ways that exclude the participation of gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. They reference that these traditional practices do not necessarily diminish the importance of traditional practices or attaining idealised forms of masculinity for these men but it is negative towards shaping their identities and how they are perceived in society. The constructions which Hunter (2005) ascribes as traditional leaders of Black identities are exclusively heterosexual with public claims that homosexuality is un-African which does not benefit gay men in the knowledge and/or empowering of their identities. However, it further generates the marginalisation of same-sex attracted men in discourses about masculinity and culture.