Introductory
Pick-Up
How to Get Girls to Like You
Written by
Decibel
Preface
Hey fuckers, what's up. What you have before you is a brief primer on how to get girls to like you. Notice the title isn't How to Get Girls to Fall in Love with You or How to Get
Girls to Fuck You. Those are intermediate and advanced discussions. My intention
when I wrote this book was to simply get girls somewhat attracted to you. If you've already got more advanced game, then you may still find some useful tips here, but basically this book is for newbs trying to flee their AFC existence.
I won't cover getting numbers, text or phone game, day 2s or pulling here. Just how to stop being such a fucking AFC, how to get comfortable being in field, and how to interact with hot girls. Thinking about the lay or the day 2 will make you outcome-oriented. I want you to only focus on the process of getting attraction.
I'm also not gonna specifically address AMOGs or cock-blocks, winging or logistics. Those are more advanced concepts.
Please note, what follows are my opinions. Many of you may disagree with my advice, but it is what I've found works best. Also note, the information here is intended for bar/ club game, not social circle or day game. None of it is speculative; I've extensively field-tested all the advice I'm laying down. Once in a while I'll give an exercise to help you work towards your goals; it is always a good idea to have a mission in mind when heading out into the field. Use mine, or come up with your own, but have something to work on that will push you out of your comfort zone and improve your skill set.
One thing is certain: this book is a companion to your field work. You MUST get out into the field and get shit done. If you're just gonna sit at home and read PUA material, I want you to delete this book from your hard drive immediately and pretend like you never saw it.
If you want a more comprehensive guide on pick-up and seduction, download my free ebook PUA Field Guide at PUA Field Guide.com.
Now, a bit about me....
I woke up in the middle of 2007 realizing I had 2 friends (both from high school), hadn't had a girlfriend in 2 years, and had spent every night playing video games,
downloading porn or watching videos. Or some combination of these. I was 38. My parents had gotten me The Game when it came out, but I put it on the shelf since I hate to read. Then VH1 showed the PUA1, and a light bulb came on. I read The Game and the Mystery Method. I spent a week doing that, as well as getting more info from the web, and then I went out that Friday faithfully using all I'd learned. My first night - in fact, the very first girl I opened - I got a kiss-close. A week later she was in my bed, top and bra off, giving me token resistance. In honor of the 7-hour rule I (incorrectly) didn't plow to the lay, and sent her home.
OK, so this stuff worked.
To backup, I'll give you some idea of my social skills. I've spent my entire life mumbling and not making eye contact. I heard “you should smile” all day, every day. If you put me in a room of people, I sat there listening, but not contributing. I often went to the park in my 20s, sitting on the bench watching people, again not talking to anyone. Pretty much after college for about 16 years I didn't speak to many people except my girlfriends.
And as for those, the relationships lasted 2 weeks to a couple years. The normal girls were 2 weeks, the psychos were 2 years. None of my LTRs consisted of me selecting a girl I wanted to date based on her personality or other qualifications. They typically approached me, and I then asked them out on dates. They were all cute or hot. I've always had high standards in that department, even if I felt I didn't deserve to. So. You go into field thinking you're gonna start being this mack daddy playa. No problem. Drop some negs, move girls around, get their #s. But wait. You can't even approach because you have AA. Hmm, never knew I did, because I never really tried
talking to random girls in public.
I get to work on AA, 5-7 nights a week. Open, open, open. 1000s of sets. Gradually, it goes away. Over the course of a year, I can comfortably work a room. Not just no AA, not just comfortable in the venue, but actually having a great night, like it's my birthday. Then I go to work on my subcoms. I work on making eye contact with every person I meet. Very tough habit to break, but I do it. This takes many months. I project in loud clubs, I stand up straight, I keep my hands at my sides, I smile...all that shit. Undoing 38 years of really really bad habits that subcommunicate low value and low self-esteem.
I develop my PUA 6th sense – the ability to read subtle nonverbal cues and to calibrate appropriately. This was not hard since I'd been sitting around watching people most of my life; that was the one remnant of my AFC life which has paid off.
I field test various tactics, from openers to LMR. I hold no attachment for any particular set, coming at it like a scientist in the lab, determined to figure out social dynamics and how I fit into the matrix.
I take an inner game journey. At first, I was hiding behind routines and an avatar. I went out and acted like Mystery, Mehow, Brad P, whomever. Necessary at first, but clearly a way of avoiding putting my real identity on the line. This was gonna take work.
Love me or hate me, I become determined to just “be myself” without all the clutter of routines and accessories. I declutter and simplify my approach, and it's a relief. But it means being unreactive to what people might think of me. I start asserting myself, go after what I want, undeterred. Again, lots of tough inner game work.
I read many books, including stuff by David Deida, Eckhart Tolle and a bunch of PU gurus. It all seeps into my psyche and there's a deep shift.
Most of my epiphanies have been documented somewhere, either on a forum or in my field guide.
In short, chasing tail takes a backseat to just trying to be “normal” and at peace with myself and my life. All the chaos in my life situation still exists, but I now have a lightness of being. This is the biggest plus so far of being in the community (in addition to all the new friends I've made).
When I started, I was able to leave all my worries at the door and go into game mode. But I wanted to BE game, not just do it. So I evolved further.
I no longer sit at home wishing I had friends; I don’t ever accept my excuses or inaction; I stay fully in the moment and outside my head.
I've gotten so much more from being in the game than I'd ever expected when I came into it. Of course, it's been a rough journey full of tests and disappointments, but the end result proves it is worth the perseverance. Meeting me now, you would never believe I was the person I was when I watched that VH1 show. I’ve come a long way, but I’ll be the first to admit I have still a ways to go on my journey. That’s ok, I have my whole life to get this shit sorted out.
dB
February 2009
Table of Contents
1
Chapter
Why?
2
Chapter
Practical Issues
3
Chapter
Inner Game
4
Chapter
Approach Anxiety
5
Chapter
Attraction
6
Chapter
Value, DHVing and Routines
7
Chapter
Frame Control and Qualification
8
Chapter
Sexual Intent
9
Chapter
Kino, Dominance and Compliance
10
Chapter
Putting it All Together
2009
Chapter One
Why?
Why are you reading this book? Why are you even talking to girls? Why are you in the community? If you can't answer these simple questions, you need to do some soul-searching. Figure out your priorities.
What are you looking for in a woman, besides a wet hole? Really, how can you qualify a girl if you have no idea what character traits are most important to you? How can you convey to girls your values if you don't know what they are?
If you hate loud clubs, why do you keep going to them? If your wing constantly blows you out, why do you keep sarging with him? If you're not attracted to 6s, why do you keep gaming them? If you're not getting anywhere with indirect game, why do you keep running it?
The game is ultimately about figuring out what your core values and beliefs are, and learning how to effectively broadcast them to the world. Learning how to make all your behaviors – both conscious and subconscious – congruent with who you are. It's also about listening to what the field is telling you and adjusting your game in response.
In many cases, the reason you do or don't do something is weak inner game. If you avoid mixed sets or super hot girls, then those are sticking points and you need to
address them. Any time you aren't doing something you know you should, ask yourself
why not? If the answer is because it's difficult or painful, then you've uncovered a new
hurdle. You must actively hunt for these and go about overcoming them. The less you
Sit down and write out the answers to these questions:
1. What makes you a high value man? Include your career, your hobbies, your passions, anything you think women may find attractive.
2. What makes you undesirable? Include debt, living with mom, appearance and so forth.
3. What is it you hope to gain both short and long-term by being in the community? A social circle, marriage, fuck buddies?
4. What kind of woman would you consider a perfect 10, besides her appearance? May include personality, sense of humor, career, education and life ambitions.
want to do something, the more you must do it. Fear will be one of your greatest enemies.
Ok. Now do the exercise above. Let's review your answers:
1. What makes you a high value man?
If you don't have a clear understanding of why girls should want to fuck or date you, how can you ever communicate this to them? If you have a sense of humor, you will want to monopolize on this by spiking their buying temp. If you have a job that lets you travel, this is something you can use to convey adventurousness and preselection. If you have a great physique, you'll want to find clothes that accentuate it. And so on.
2. What makes you undesirable?
Of these traits, determine which are never going to change, which might change a little, which are reversible with effort, and which might end up being irrelevant. Something that will never change may be the fact you live with your parents, and can't afford to get your own place. If that's the case, you need to partly plan logistics in advance when the time comes to close; maybe you'll bang in your car or at her place. Something that can change a little includes your height. You can add lifts and make yourself a little taller, though you may never get to a desirable height like six feet. Something that will change with effort would be your fashion, your hair or your physique. And something that is irrelevant is how much money is in your account; you don't need much money to pull a girl back to her place and bang her...just game.
3. What do you want from the game?
Short-term, it may be to be comfortable talking with girls in nightclubs, or making eye contact without having to think about it, or being unafraid to kino. Long-term, it may include having five fuck buddies or one monogamous girlfriend. Your goals may change as you continue down this journey, so always keep an open mind, and never live by the standards of others.
4. What do you consider your perfect 10?
When you start out, you may have a buttload of criteria. When I got into the game, I was looking for a specific age range, hair color, personality, education. Then as I got more experience under my belt (figuratively and literally), my requirements loosened up. I started considering smokers, girls in their early 20s, and all races. As I gained perspective, my beliefs of what was attractive changed.
Don't be overly picky, but do know what you want; this will make it easier to qualify girls and screen out the ones you wish to avoid.
Chapter Two
Practical Issues
Let's cover a few basic concepts.
Peacocking. Maybe you have a great fashion sensibility, maybe not. Maybe you know
how you want your wardrobe and accessories to reflect your identity, or maybe you don't. When I got started, my wing told me I resembled Johnny Depp, and so I should peacock just like him. I gathered some photos online and put together an outfit that kinda gave a Depp-ish impression. With
time, I felt all the clutter was annoying, and I needed to simplify. I scaled down to one or two rings, a bracelet and more upscale attire.
As you start to go out, figure out what kinds of clothes and gear will let you stand out without looking like an ignoramus or too flashy (the point is not to show off). Peacocking does not work for all guys. And many girls are turned off by excessive peacocking. So try to be tasteful. I would often ask girls in bars what they thought about this or that, and I would listen to the consensus. Females do know fashion, so take notes if you get free advice.
Venue selection. After inner game, this is
the most important first step you'll make along your journey. If you can't learn to project your voice, or you have low passive value (a short, ugly dude), you're gonna have a rough time in loud dance clubs. Maybe start off in low-key bars and lounges to get your footing. Otherwise the frustration will drive you from the game. Test out
various locations and see what fits your personality.
Keep in mind that dark venues are more intimate and may permit easier escalation.
Scout out your city for these venue types:
1. Day game. Bookstores, malls. This will allow you to practice verbal game. 2. Low-energy night game. Bars and pubs. This will give you a mix of verbal and physical game.
3. High-energy night game. Loud dance clubs. This will allow you work on your non-verbal physical game. Routinely alternate among these three locations and learn how to calibrate your style of game and energy level for that particular venue.
Brightly lit venues may have the opposite effect. Other factors to keep in mind: most places allow smoking which might irritate you if you don't smoke; it is hard to get the attention of someone engrossed in a performance; dancing spikes BT and may help you pull; high male:female ratios may mean more AMOGs to deal with; high-end venues may be harder to get into but also have hotter girls.
Drinking. I do drink a bit now when I go out, but at first I avoided all alcohol. Your
game will be sloppy, you'll miss out on a girl's subtle IOIs and IODs, your responses will be poorly conceived and executed, and opportunities will pass you by. Learning a skill of any kind requires your full presence. So don't drink when you go out. Once you've gotten these skills internalized, it's ok to loosen up and get a little tipsy. If you're totally drunk, your end game may suffer.
Sarge schedule. I used to go out 7 nights a week when I started. Then I cut back to 5.
Then when I was using up $150 a week on gas, I had to reduce it to 2-3 nights. Any less than 3 nights a week will not allow much progress to occur.
Lots of guys go on sarge-a-thons, where they devote 10 or more consecutive nights to going out. These sarge-a-thons can shave a lot of time off the learning process. You find yourself “in state” constantly after a while, AA drops, you stop caring as much. The flip side is your job, friends and family may suffer. You may find it hard to keep your eyes open at work or on the drive home the next night. So be careful and realize there are risks to hardcore sarging. Some of the casualties of the sarge for my first year included blisters on my feet, fungus between my toes, getting my car towed late at night, getting speeding and parking tickets and spending money on parking, gas, venue admission and drinks.
Always remember this: no time in field is a waste of time. Even if you think you aren't progressing, just getting out of your house and into the company of women is a huge step that most dudes never take.
Debriefing. After every night I sit down and think about each set, good and bad. I
would either write things down on my computer, or on one of the forums I belonged to, or I'd run things through in my mind. Debriefing is critical. You need to honestly evaluate all the shit you did or should've done. If you find you're making excuses, you need to correct that. If you missed opportunities, you need to come up with a plan so it doesn't happen again. If you had successes, then figure out how to make those happen again with consistency.
If you have wings, it helps to debrief at a diner or someone's car. Never analyze your sets in the venue. Your state will drop and you'll stop approaching. Don't even talk about game in the venue. Unless it's a very quick comment like “hey, you keep saying
Wings. Your wing is there to bring up your game. If you need to isolate a girl, that's
where your wing should swoop in and help. I have tons of information on winging in the Field Guide, so I'm not covering it here.
In fact, I would consider the use of a wing to be an intermediate tactic. I have often seen bad winging cause a guy's progress to come to a halt or to derail a particular pick-up. I also know many guys who use their wing as a crutch, and can't sarge without him.
So unless your wing is motivated, sociable and a team-player, I would seriously consider going solo. That doesn't mean you have to go out every night by yourself, though you should definitely be comfortable doing it. What I'm saying is you and your wings can work a venue together while being in different sets. Never be dependent on a wing to try to attract women. If a wing is fucking up your game, stop relying on him. You should be able to isolate or mini-isolate a target and game her without the help of a wing. If you can't, it's nobody's fault but your own. Having a wing is a luxury, not a necessity.
Us vs them. Don't give into the notion that it is men versus women out there. It's not.
Women want to get laid as much as you do. There is no battle, just the one that popular media has fabricated. Women will act like bitches or give you objections, but look past these and understand the psychology behind those defenses. Take the high road and help them get what they want. There is no “us vs them.”
Premature ejectulation. Newbs will often eject on a high note, or if there is the
slightest challenge. Adam Lyons calls this premature ejectulation. If a girl is giving you a hard time and you get intimidated, you eject. If you run out of things to say, you eject. If you feel like she's attracted you won't want that validation to end, and you eject. None of these are valid reasons to leave a set. If you find yourself leaving a set too soon for whatever reason, break this habit. Embed yourself into the set and try to close. I would often tell my wings who made excuses, there are only two reasons not to close a girl: you don't have a condom, or your zipper is stuck.
Running lots of sets per night. When starting out, you want to gather a bunch of
reference experiences to help reinforce your new-found reality. And so you leap from set to set, opening 1000 or more over the course of a year.
This has advantages. You will lose AA quicker. You will be able to field-test tactics on a larger sample size. You will hear many responses you hadn't heard before, including shit tests and IODs. These will toughen you up and make you less surprised the next time around.
The disadvantage is sometimes you will get genuine attraction and still eject to open another set. Or sometimes the attraction is dormant and all you need to do is plow a bit.
Open lots of sets. But if a girl is hot and you want to pursue her, then by all means stay in set. Even if it's the first set of the night. Your goal here is to get laid. Don't expect it to happen in the first year since cold approach is a tough skill to master. But if the opportunity arises, you should push the interaction as far as it'll go.
The bigger point I want to make is this: make a decision about who you are, right now. Are you a sociable guy? Or are you a reformed AFC who is defective and trying to cross over into PUA-ville. Sociable men
don't “count sets.” They just enter a venue and chat with everyone; it is what they do and who they are. AFCs count sets, because they are not yet convinced of their new persona.
Don't be a broken AFC. That is looking backwards. Be a sociable guy. Look forward at your ideal personality. Stop counting sets. It reinforces the old persona.
Building a social circle. Some girls aren't
attracted to you, some are unattractive to you, some have serious LTRs and don't want to cheat. Rather than write off these girls, I want you to start constructing a social circle of women. Game them, but don't escalate or telegraph intent. Get their numbers and then once or twice a week when you're out invite them out with you. Rolling in a pack of girls will make your job in the venue much easier.
Sticking points. Everyone has em. They
are the problems in your game which won't let you get to the next level. For most guys, AA is the first and biggest hurdle they'll encounter. For others it's trigger anxiety.
Other guys can't seem to get past LMR. Determine your sticking points and come up with a plan of action to work past them. Do it over and over until you've surmounted them.
Build a social circle:
1. For the next couple weeks, stop sarging when you go out, and only get numbers for the purpose of social circle.
2. If your phone has the capability to sort, organize these #s into a social circle folder.
3. Pick a night when you want to invite all your girls out to a club, then send a mass text.
4. When you show up at the venue, use your circle to gain access, and for preselection and proof in the venue. Your wing shouldn't sleep with these girls if you don't want him to.
Chapter Three
Inner Game
There is a lot of airy fairy shit on the market dealing with inner game. Truth be told, I've read or watched only a handful of products having to do with inner game. I've never heard Tony Robbins speak, I've never browsed the self-help section of the local bookstore, I've never gone to a seminar on self-confidence.
That being said, inner game for most guys including myself is the absolute key to being successful with women. It is the make-or-break factor when you look at approaching, escalating and closing. It is the ability to turn off or to keep at bay that little voice in your head reminding you of your shortcomings and failures.
So I'm now gonna discuss some of the most important components of inner game.
Your ego and your identity
Your ego is an evil and unnecessary maniac that wants to destroy you. The ego must die.
What is the ego? When another guy who gets laid a lot more than you tells you you're doing something wrong in field, and you blow him off, that's your ego.
When you don't approach the hottest girl in the venue because you think she might reject you, that's your ego.
When you try to impress or seek the validation of other PUAs, that's your ego.
Being controlled by the ego will never permit growth and maturity. You must ignore the ego, and instead embrace rejection, humiliation, humility and the cold reality that you are not nearly as good as you think you are.
If you can't do this, you have a very long road ahead of you.
If you were to strip away the ego, underneath is your true identity. Let's say your religious upbringing has dealt you a ton of guilt over sex, and so you project the facade that you are pious and asexual. Meanwhile, underneath that, you truly love to fuck random women. Then you must strip away the outer layers which are stopping you from being who you really are, and accept the true identity underneath.
Naturally, this takes a lot of painful work, undoing years of conditioning, but it must be done. Begin the process of honest soul-searching, and never stop. Be true to your core values and beliefs. Always.
I want you to be good with women, an alpha male, a high-value man. What does this kind of person look like? How do they walk and talk? You have no idea. Maybe you can get a sense of it from watching old Brando interviews. But as an AFC, you probably have no clue where to begin.
If that's the case, I recommend emulating various men, and seeing how it feels. Try out Mystery, Mehow, Brad P. Try out Harrison Ford, Bogart, Brad Pitt. Yeah, you may feel totally incongruent acting like these people, and others may interpret this as creepy. That's ok. We're going on a fishing expedition for your new identity. Eventually, you will drop all these acts and just be yourself.
But for now, it's ok to try on different faces until you find the one women respond to.
Outcome vs process
To get good at any skill, you must be process-oriented. If you focus on the outcomes, you will never gain mastery. Have one eye on where you want to be, but enjoy and learn from the process of getting there. That is the only way.
Many guys won't fuck a girl who is average-looking though fuck-worthy. This is because “she's not a 10.” What they are missing out on is the learning that comes with banging that 7. She may give you LMR which allows you to work past that sticking point. She may decide to call up her girlfriend and invite you to a threesome. You may have some new logistical problems to solve in order to close her.
The point is, try to think of each girl in terms of how will this possibly improve my skill
set. Never get attached to a girl. They are all building blocks to help progress you
along your journey. It sounds cruel and impersonal, but if you do get emotionally attached to every girl, you will never achieve mastery. Be honest with women; let them know they you are not the kind of guy whom they should get attached to (they won't listen, but at least you're acting through integrity).
The outcomes will begin to occur if you honor the process. However the process may not improve if you're busy focusing on the outcomes.
Crutches
There is nothing wrong with using crutches to get you by, as long as they don't hinder your progress. Alcohol is a crutch which hinders you. A reliable wing may be a crutch which can help you.
Here is an excerpt from from my Field Guide on crutches:
1. Alcohol. AA is something you need to genuinely squash, and not mask with mind-altering substances. Drinking to excess in order to help approach women will not in the end assist you in overcoming AA.
2. State pumpers. At times, you need that shot of espresso to get you in the mood to go out late and be in a talkative state. However you should watch out for dependence on stimulants which may artificially pump your state.
3. Wings. Many guys rely on wings as a crutch, becoming intimidated if alone in a venue. Bring in wings to make for a fun night, and to augment your game, but do not avoid solo sarging.
4. Gaming ugs. Going after HBs can be daunting, and sometimes chasing ugs can be the path of least resistance. If you are attracted to the ug, then game on. But if you're gaming ugs as a crutch because you're too scared to game HBs, you need to get past this sticking point. 5. Peacocking. Some guys don their gear as if it were an action figure disguise. This is great, but if you're suddenly caught out in the day at a car wash next to HB10, you may feel naked without the gear and unable to run game.
6. Routines. Going in with a routine stack can help you reliably create attraction, but many guys rely on the stack instead of learning how to naturally vibe with a girl.
7. All-girl sets. Mixed sets scare a lot of guys, so they avoid them and only work all-girl sets.
8. Seated sets. It may be hard to lock in if a group is sitting, so a PUA may only game standing sets. You should always try to open seated sets, even if the logistics may not be just right. If you don't open, you'll never learn how to do it.
9. Venue selection. Some PUAs aren't adept at day game, so they only sarge at night. Others are scared of clubs so they only do day game. A PUA should ideally be comfortable running game any time of day in any venue. If you find yourself returning to the same sort of venue, push yourself to game in venues that may feel uncomfortable at first.
10. Indirect game. Though you may find yourself getting good at indirect, opening direct may bring about a wave of panic you thought you'd conquered. Learn how to be direct on your approaches, with aggressive kino and strong statements of intent.
11. Being “in state.” You may not feel like going out or talking to women because you aren't in state. Being in state can help your interactions, but
relying on being in state is another crutch.
Subcommunication
If you're talking to a 10 and you outwardly project confidence and cockiness, but inside you are scared shitless, your subcoms will belie you. Girls detect the non-verbal cues, and they will tend to rely on those over verbal cues if there is a mismatch.
So to consistently convince women you are of high value and confident, you must BE high value and confident. If you need validation from others, or are desperate for sex, women will smell this and be turned off. But if you remain internally validated and live a life of abundance, this will be subcommunicated and women will be attracted.
You can try to “fake it til you make it,” but the only way to become successful is to go out in field a lot until things start to shift on a deep level. Only then will your subcoms align with your words.
Social and sexual anxiety
I was totally paralyzed by AA all my adult life. I spent 30 or more years being shy and afraid to talk to people. What good will ever come out of being like that?
If you are like I was, you need to do the hard work of squashing your social anxiety. Fight it with every fiber of your being, until it surrenders and dies. Because it will. It is an unnatural state and deserves a miserable death.
Sexual anxiety is another issue you may run into. I've been offered sex by women I find attractive and I don't go for it. Why? Because of those same voices that try to keep me from approaching in the first place. Sexual anxiety tells you that sex with girls you don't know well is weird, that girls who want sex with you are somehow defective or loose, that if you have sex with a girl you'll have to deal with your own emotional aftermath and so why even go there. Or that you're not worthy of her body.
It's all more bullcrap that you need to overcome. You can't pick up women unless you can tap into the animalistic desire to ravish the woman in front of you. If you hold back, she will sense the lack of drive and will not waste time with you.
Non-reactivity
AFCs react to the world. They seek validation from outside. They derive their sense of worth from how others perceive them. Not surprisingly, this is unattractive to women. If you are like this, you need to break your dependence of external validation. You must become totally non-reactive to what people may think or say of you. There are tons of social anxiety exercises available, including the Stylelife Academy challenges. If you have a fear – or even a concern – about what strangers think about you, do
these exercises until you lose that fear.
Strangers in a bar should not be causing any disruption in your mood, your state or your sense of worth. Why would a girl's opinion of you matter, or be a function of her appearance? What makes her the arbiter of worthiness? Only you know what matters to you. Project those traits and be steadfast in your conviction. Don't be swayed by challenges. Stay immune to social proof. Remain always non-reactive.
Rapport
Having rapport with a girl is a pleasant thing. She may not become attracted to you, but will feel comfortable with you. Rapport evolves naturally through vibing. But if you seem like you are seeking rapport, you are lowering your value in a supplicating manner. It implies agenda. This is beta and unattractive.
To the contrary, you should have the balls to break rapport. Breaking rapport shows willingness to walk away, and is attractive. She’s some random girl you just met in a bar, so why would you compromise your beliefs or values? Why would you befriend her without her earning it? When you are afraid to break rapport, you are essentially saying you need to walk on eggshells around girls so as not to “rock the boat.”
Be unafraid to break rapport, and even go out of your way to do it. Here are ways to break rapport:
a. Don’t hesitate to disagree with her. Call her out on something you think is silly. Challenge her.
b. Do take-aways, body rocking, let your eyes wander away while she talks to you, and other classic IODs.
c. Use your vocal tonality. There are two alpha ways you can ask a question. First, don’t ask it. So instead of “hey, where do you live?” you state “you don’t live around here.” You make statements that she will infer are questions. Second, you can ask a question without the upward inflection that you usually hear at the end of a question. Instead, let the inflection go downwards.
Congruence
You will get tested by women to see if your outer game and inner game match up. These are called shit tests, otherwise known as congruence tests. She is trying to see if you are truly a high value man worthy of her DNA, or if you're just acting like one. I consider handling shit tests an intermediate skill, so I'm not covering that in this guide. Being congruent is not easy to learn. It has to come from spending time in the field. Here are ways to achieve congruence:
disingenuous. When you genuinely vibe, you’re being congruent. When you’re running a bunch of lines that aren’t relevant to what she’s saying or thinking, or what your true intentions are with her, you don’t seem congruent.
b. Have a good time. If you are acting alpha, but you still reek of fear, your subcoms will give you away. So stop fearing and enjoy every interaction. Don’t think about the outcomes; focus on the process.
c. Get out of your head. When you’re drunk, words comes out of your mouth unfiltered. Same for when you’re in your car singing at the top of your lungs. You’re in the moment, not analyzing everything. You therefore communicate from your core. Learn to do this always.
The alpha mindset
Women are drawn towards the alpha persona and repelled away from betas. There are ways to appear alpha:
1. Acquire immunity to social proof. (See above) 2. Dominate. (Refer to Chapter 9)
3. Practice frame control. (Refer to Chapter 7) 4. Be unafraid to break rapport. (See above)
5. Spread out. An alpha treats every venue almost like his living room. a. Take up room. Let your arms hang over adjacent chairs.
b. Be loud, but not so loud that it seems you’re trying to call attention to yourself.
c. Have open, vulnerable body language. Not only are you taking up space with your hands on your hips, but with your legs spread apart when standing, you show you’re unafraid of taking one in the balls.
6. Gain (or enter with) social proof. a. Roll in with a posse.
b. Make friends in the venue. Merge sets, be a social butterfly. c. Use pivots, pawns and female wings.
7. Be congruent. (See above)
8. Be self-confident. Destroy your ego. Alphas have confidence in themselves. They don’t let their egos run amok. If you hear yourself bragging, make it stop. If you’re not pushing yourself outside your comfort zone because your crew/your friends/your wings might think less of you, recognize it and then push yourself even harder. Ego will subvert your self-confidence. It’s counterproductive and decidedly un-alpha.
Being comfortable in your own skin
What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Most of us have deeply rooted hang-ups. Sure we start off as happy little kids, running around in the playground, not filtering everything that pops into our mind. But then we get disciplined, punished and discouraged over our immature behaviors. We begin to question our words...our own worth in fact.
We become uncomfortable just being.
Fuck that. Go back to the days of preschool. Run around and shout at the top of your lungs “I play with doodoo!!!” Fuck being an adult. Be a kid again. Be totally comfortable with who you are. There is nothing about you that needs to change at your core. You've just layered a bunch of bullshit on top of your core. But underneath all that, your core is beautiful and perfect.
Stop trying to fix who you are deep down. Remove all the social conditioning and fear that keeps you repressed, that keeps you from being you. Discard all the negative self-talk that aims to impede your progress.
Be you. Celebrate it. Be comfortable, no matter where you are.
Deservedness and assertiveness
You deserve pussy. You deserve the most beautiful, intelligent, charismatic women out there. Stop telling yourself otherwise. It is the job of women to test your resolve and create hurdles for you to overcome; don't create more hurdles for yourself.
But go further than thinking that you're worthy. Assert yourself. Take what you want. Let her feel that you are unstoppable, like a kid in a candy store.
Don't let anyone try to distract or dissuade you. Not her, not the cock-block, not the AMOG. And certainly not YOU.
Stifling
Because of social anxiety, we have a tendency not to speak our minds. We care what strangers think of us (this, by the way, is absurd). So if you see a hot girl on the bus, you may not speak to her because you would have an audience listening in. This is called stifling.
If you find you are stifled, work towards unstifling yourself. Say whatever comes into your head, whether it will DHV or DLV yourself. It may come across as weird,
miscalibrated or even offensive. When you're just starting out, and you are concerned about the outcomes of each set, you will stifle and repress those thoughts in an attempt to DHV.
And yes, when you DLV you will lose that set. But stop thinking about the outcomes. Think about the process. And the process of getting good at the game requires that you unstifle.
The truth is nobody gives a fuck except you.
Expanding your reality
My reality when I got into the game was: it is weird and scary to walk up to hot women and start talking to them. Over time, my AA dropped and my reality expanded; pretty soon I expected myself to talk to women whenever I went out.
Kino was also outside my reality at first, and I had to bring it in; I first thought women would get weirded out, but eventually I realized kino was necessary for attraction. Gradually other aspects became incorporated into my reality: you can get away with slapping a girl's ass and she won't mind; you can get a make-out in under a minute; you can have sex within a couple hours of meeting her.
Boom boom boom. My reality kept expanding. Things that were once foreign became
commonplace. The scary became mundane. This is inevitable if you stay in the game. Always be leaning towards your fears, expanding your reality to bring in new beliefs. Though you should focus on these positive reference experiences, you will come across negative reference experiences. At one point it seemed like no matter what I did in set, girls flaked. The reference experience became: if you go out and sarge you will not get a solid number.
But ignore those negative reference experiences, and chalk them up to part of the learning process. Focus solely on the positive experiences. Realize that this will probably be a very bumpy road for you, full of setbacks, disappointments and rejection. Remember, whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
Do these unstifling exercises in the venue:
Yodel as loud as you can.
Clap your hands while chanting, “Dil-do! Dil-“Dil-do! Dil-“Dil-do!”
Jump into the middle of a set and break dance.
Think up and run a few stupid openers like “Hey I'm Lewis the dumb-fuck!!” or “Have you guys seen my mommy?” Make a scary face at a girl before approaching her.
Chapter Four
Approach Anxiety
AA is a bitch in high heels. Until you conquer it, you won't be able to fully explore all the other aspects of game. Tons of openers are available online and in my Field
Guide. However, while openers give you a jump-start into the conversation, they also
make you think that how you open matters.
And so you think about the opener, delay the approach, and allow your AA to build. The truth is, it doesn't matter how you open. Truthfully. And in the overall arc of seduction, the opener represents less than 1%. So forget about how you open. Just have something you can use from set to set, as simple as “hey, how's your Friday night going?”
Figure out how bad your AA is using the scale below. Are you able to order food from a smoking hot waitress, or do you get intimidated and let it affect your eye contact and tonality? Can you stroll into a clothes store and flirt with the hired gun? Can you already work a room full of beautiful women, without missing a beat?
When I got into the community, I could do none of these things. I had the worst fucking AA and had to create drills for myself. I pushed myself hard past my AA, day after day and night after night. When you set out to get rid of AA, you must do it at least 3 days or nights a week for a few hours or more, every week until it's gone. Stopping for even a couple weeks will allow the AA to creep back. Keep at it until it fades into the background.
0. (No AA) The Master. This guy can enter any venue, work the room so everyone loves him, and get solid attraction from the hottest girls. Not only does he not have AA, but he can see the matrix and use sets strategically to up his social proof and preselection.
1. The Beast. You may hear people say “that guy is a fucking BEAST in field!” Though he isn't as strategic as the Master, he has no AA when going after his targets. He'll open anyone and anywhere. He has no hesitation or fear and is very dominant. He loves to socialize.
2. The Birthday Boy. Slightly less sociable compared to the Beast, though happy to socialize with every set. If you were to look at him, you'd think it were his birthday. He's not as aggressive as the Beast, and so his results aren't as good. But he is clearly having a great time confidently working the room, just like the host of his own party. 3. Rico Suave. He doesn't open as many sets as the Birthday Boy. He hesitates, scans the room, thinks about which sets he wants to open. When he does open, he is effective. He relies on precision, opening a few high quality sets.
4. The PUA. This guy calls himself a PUA, and he takes pride in the title. He is in his head much more than Rico. He is running through openers and routines, analyzing sets. And while he is busy strategizing, his state is dropping and his AA is rising. Still, he can get it back under control and open. He never lets his AA overwhelm him.
5. The Drunk. Put this guy in a room of hotties sober, and he probably won't open. But get him tanked and he's Mr. Sociable. He has a ton of AA underneath, but he self-medicates and so he manages to open a few cute sets.
6. The Ug Chaser. He wants to talk to hot girls, but they scare him shitless. And so he takes the path of least resistance and only talks to ugly girls. He gets their numbers and may even pull them. But he feels dissatisfied because he knows his AA is getting the better of him.
7. The Excuse Guy. He will open a select few sets. If you ask why he won't open more, he's got a list of excuses, from “she's not hot enough” to “she's with her boyfriend” to “she's busy texting.” In reality, it's his AA that is stopping him from opening.
8. The Kamikaze. This guy looks like a wild-eyed suicide bomber when he approaches. You can literally smell him shit his pants as he begins the long death march to the set in front of him. Because he reeks of fear, he self-destructs.
9. (Paralyzing AA) The Inmate. These guys stand along the edge of the dance floor or along the bar, holding drinks in front of them. This is called death row, and these are its inmates. These guys absolutely won't talk to any girls. They would instantly vaporize if they even tried.
Look, AA may seem like a mighty and insurmountable hurdle when you first start out, but many guys have beat it, and you can too. It'll require dedication and the fortitude to deal with the agony of pushing yourself into 1000s of sets. But when it does become
manageable, it'll no longer plague you the rest of your life. It'll be like having a new-found super-power.
It helps to have energetic wings who have little AA. They can open sets with you and pump your state. This is not a long-term solution, though it is an acceptable short-term crutch. Don't hang out with guys who are as anxious or more so than you; they will only bring your state down, strike up distracting conversations with you, and keep you from opening. Don't contribute to the formation of chode crystals.
So the main way to get over AA is to keep approaching. There are a lot of other options out there including daily affirmations and hypnosis, but I find most of that is crap. There really is no substitute for going out and opening. You can give your wing some money and have him pay you back for every set you open; this again is a short-term solution. You can't do this night after night for the next year.
In short, nobody can push you into sets except you. You must do it. Put one foot in front of the other, open your mouth, and make some words come out. Go to the bathroom to change your underwear. Rinse and repeat.
The other big help in overcoming AA is to develop a routine stack or tree. When you know where each interaction will go for the first couple of minutes, this reduces your AA. Much of the fear of opening is the fear of the unknown. Diving into set is like leaping into a cold pool. With a bunch of routines at your disposal, you at least know you have a rubber raft you can climb onto for a short while. It's another reassuring crutch you can rely on while you're working on your AA. Eventually you'll probably
Perform these drills to help get over your AA:
1. Find all the malls within driving distance, and three nights a week, go to them. Spend an hour or two going from store to store chatting with the hired guns. Even if you have to ask something weird like “do you have cowboy hats?” just strike up conversations. Get advice on peacocking.
2. Go to a club or bar by yourself, and allow yourself to become comfortable simply people-watching. Allow all sense of anxiety to leave you, and really have a good time self-amusing. 3. Walk through a club and say “hi” to all the girls. You can keep talking, or you can simply walk onto the next set. 4. When you check out at the grocery store, go to the hottest check-out girl and ask her something lame like “hey, how are the tomatoes here?”
5. When you need something at a restaurant (like more napkins), go find the hottest waitress and ask her for it.
want to mostly drop the routines and rely on natural vibing.
Though you've probably heard of the stack, I invented the routine “tree.” A stack piles up one routine on top of another, regardless of the set's response. The problem with this is she isn't investing in the conversation; she becomes the passive recipient of your delivery. It looks roughly like this (the blue is you, the pink is the set):
A routine tree, however, flows according to her responses, so she feels like she is investing. A tree may look something like this:
For example, you open with “Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something...”
Response A may be a shit test: “OMG, you're not one of those pick-up artists are you?” That would send you off to routine A, which would be your shit test response. Your shit test response may lead to laughter and acceptance, in which case it's safe to go back to your opener. Or your shit test response may lead to another shit test, in which case you would have a new shit test response. And so on.
Back up. You say “Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something...” They say “okay!” That response has you continue with the opener, which asks an opinion. They give their opinion. If it is opinion A, you stack into a response or a new routine that is relevant to their opinion. If they go with opinion B, you stack into a response appropriate for that opinion.
Let's say you open with FMK:
You: “Hey I saw you guys standing over here playing FMK.” HBs: “Huh?”
You: “Fuck marry kill. Never heard of it? Ok, I point to a guy in the bar and you tell me if you'd fuck him, marry him, or kill him. Ok...that guy!”
HBs: “Kill!!!” (response A)
You: “OMG, you guys are feisty! You can be my bodyguards. I'm always getting mauled by girls when I go out to clubs. I could use a couple chicks to beat them off me.” (future project, role playing, check out their guns, et cetera)
or
HBs: “Fuck!!!” (response B)
You: “I knew it! Women are all sexual predators!” (TD's sexual predator routine) or
HBs: “Marry!!!” (response C)
You: “WTF? That guy?! Come on, girls. You can do better than that! Alright, let's make a deal. Tonight I'm gonna find you guys a coupla sugar daddies! Next time I see you, you'll be all blinged out...” (future project, play with their jewelry, et cetera).
The routine tree is much more fluid and natural than the stack. But you must prepare for every contingency. So you go out with an opener, run it a dozen times, and make note of the most common responses. Then you think about the best ways to respond to each of those responses (you want to go with funny, sexy or kino). Then field test all those responses, and figure out where you can branch out into a new routine. Continue doing this until you have a few minutes worth of material.
Having the first few minutes of any interaction all mapped out will reduce your AA. It'll give you the confidence of knowing that no matter what the set throws at you, you'll be prepared with something good. This will generate attraction while spiking BT, and it'll give you the boost you need to keep opening. Over time, you'll reduce your reliance on the routine tree, but for now trust in it. People will try to discourage you from using routines, but it really is a good safety net to have in place when starting out.
Again, refer to my ebook, PUA Field Guide for the chapter on routines, and select the ones that are most congruent with your personality.
Somewhere in your tree you need to move your girl. You can mini-isolate after you open, but physically moving a girl around in a venue by her hand amps up attraction while reducing her ASD (anti-slut defense). The palmistry routine I discuss in Chapter 6 involves isolation; I ask about her zodiac sign, start the palm read, and then say it's too dark. I use that as bait and an excuse to sit her down in isolation somewhere else.
If you aren't fully isolating your targets, you're missing out on a powerful tool. The take-home message of this chapter is this:
Do whatever you need to do (short of drinking) to get your AA under control.
If you can't work past your AA, you won't get anywhere in the game.
Chapter Five
Attraction
Your goal out of all this introductory stuff is to get girls attracted to you. Most of the time when you simply approach and fluff talk with a girl, it isn't enough to generate attraction. In fact, most girls will give you absolutely no credit for being ballsy enough to open. The sad truth is, it is a given that men approach women and try to hit on them. Though the burden is always on men to do all the work, you will get no brownie points for trying, only ridicule and contempt if you fail.
So realize this is an uphill battle, where you will be the only person cheering for you. Whether you succeed in getting attraction is reliant solely on you: the content of your speech, your delivery, your subcoms, your ability to telegraph intent, et cetera.
All girls accept the role of passive spectator in the game, while you must always assume the role of active participant. This is a key rule. Never forget it. Once you expect a girl to initiate or take responsibility, she will usually resist. Approach, stimulate attraction, ask for phone numbers, set up the day 2, close. Do all this work yourself. When you get signs that a girl likes you, we call them IOIs (indicators of interest). These may include her playing with her hair (a reliable sign), touching you or stopping to talk to you after you open.
While old school pick-up tells you to look for IOIs and count them, here comes a game-changing moment for you:
IOIs are utterly irrelevant.
There are only two IOIs that matter:
1. She is standing there letting you talk to her.
2. She is fucking you, jerking you off or giving you head.
There is absolutely no weight to any other IOI. Even if she gives you her cell phone number, it could be a fake or she may not intend on answering it when you call. When she's making out with you, you could be the 3rd guy she's made out with that night; it
doesn't mean she wants to pull or is interested in seeing you again.
So abandon the notion that you should be looking for IOIs. Waiting for them will make you reactive by definition. Be unreactive. Act as if she is giving you IOIs, whether she
is or not. Consider all objections token, and plow past them. It is a girl's job to throw out objections and hurdles to seduction. None of these mean that she isn't interested in sleeping with you, and in fact may mean she truly is. As you gain experience, your ability to plow will improve. Again, I refer you to The Way of the Superior Man for further discussion of this.
When you consider all the false IODs and sketchy IOIs girls can throw your way, you begin to see why the only two IOIs that matter are the ones I listed.
So, instead of waiting around for IOIs, a better mindset is to assume attraction. When you walk into a set, just assume the girls are already attracted. This is from my archives:
Assumptions
Usually people say “when you assume you make an ass of u and me.” Harhar. While that might be true in the business world, in PU, it isn't. In fact, making assumptions - positive assumptions - will only help your progress. They may hurt your individual sets, but as you move your focus away from the outcomes and towards the process, positive assumptions will only help. Negative assumptions will always hinder you. Assuming attraction is only one example of a positive assumption. Others are:
She wants me to make out with her
She wants me to pull her to my car and fuck her
She mentions her boyfriend only as a shit test, but actually wants to pull All girls in the club are there to get laid, no matter what they say
You can end any of the above with..."obviously!!" Negative assumptions:
Girls won't like me because I'm bald/short/fat/pimply
I live too far away and girls won't drive out there to see me just for sex I'll need to have money/a good car/go to the gym 5 times a week She won't be attracted until I run my DHV stack
Another term for these is 'limiting beliefs.' Guys who get really good often have a delusional belief system. Their reality seems delusional to outside observers, but it is so friggin strong that women can't help but be sucked into it. The one with the stronger reality wins, and all reality is subjective.
Recall, people held on bitterly to the “reality” that the earth was flat. So if you approach a set with a negative assumption like “I need to demonstrate my value and then test out compliance to see if it's ok to escalate” you will set up a self-fulfilling prophecy which will blow you out. Maybe a particular set or series of sets will be ok with this mindset, but again that is outcome-dependent thinking. Process-focused thinking doesn't care what happens in a set; it wants what will get your overall skillset on the track to mastery. And it ain't this sorta stinkin thinkin. But now approach with the positive assumption of “I don't need to demonstrate value; I AM value. Girls love me...obviously!! I just need to assume attraction and then figure out if she's up to my standards.” Yes, this may not get you into a lot of sets...at first.
But a funny thing happens when you maintain this mindset. Over time, you start to believe it, internalize it, live it. It becomes congruent. Your subcoms all fall into place with that of a high-value man (assuming your verbal game is also that of high value, not douchebag). Sets open...literally reward this mindset.
You may tell yourself, “I can assume attraction and keep telling myself I'm attractive, but I just don't believe it down deep.”
But here you're using two terms interchangeably: belief and assumption. You believe in God. That's more than assumption, it is who you are. At this point, I'm just asking you to assume, not believe. You will acquire belief through positive reference experiences. Keep assuming that attraction is there and keep opening. Your bad subcoms will correct with practice and self-analysis. You may need advice from wings or professionals, but eventually as your epiphanies accrue there will be a transformation.
In summary, looking for IOIs is old school. It's beta and reactive. Assuming attraction is alpha. You may crash and burn a lot at first, but you will autocorrect and gain calibration skills with field experience, honest introspection of your sticking points, and dissolution of your ego. Of course, being a total douche and trying to assume attraction while ignoring the fact that most sets aren't receptive is not what I'm talking about here. Always humble yourself to the field.
So there is a clear progression at work here:
Negative assumptions
lead toexcuses
which lead toinaction
while...
Positive assumptions
lead tomotivation
which leads toaction
Attraction has two phases: superficial (SA) and deep (DA). Always assume superficial attraction when you open. She may shit test you and disqualify herself. At some point, you cross over into deep attraction. This is when she suggests isolating, or eagerly moves around the venue with you (and leaves her friends), and no longer shit tests or disqualifies herself.
In DA, be gentle with the use of preselection or jealousy; she will often get mad at you if she is deeply attracted. Running a little jealousy can help determine her depth of attraction. You can purposefully try to make her jealous, but sometimes girls will randomly comment on how another girl is looking at you or touching you, ask how many girls you've slept with and so on. If she's getting jealous or clingy, she's in deep. There is certainly an emotional switch that gets flipped when you go from one phase to the next, and often it gets turned on instantly. They go from hair flipping to down-to-fuck sometimes in a MOMENT.
Progressing from superficial to deep attraction – flipping that switch - is the challenge. Certain kino maneuvers will help it along. Grab a girl's hand and move her around the venue. Bite her neck when you hug her. Playfully slam her against a wall with your body.
Refrain from the make-out until she is deeply attracted; going for the make-out in superficial attraction may only serve to validate her too soon and move you further away from deep attraction. Girls need a challenge, they need to question whether or not they've won you over. The out dispels any doubt. However, in DA the make-out is expected.
Adjust the IOI:IOD ratio as you move into DA. If you bombard with verbal IODs to get her deeply attracted, it is best to reduce or eliminate your IODs once you enter deep attraction. Instead, plow verbally and physically. In DA, you don't need to resist or qualify so much. She's already into you, so stop punishing. Start rewarding, both verbally and physically.
The point of analyzing attraction in this way is to figure out what's going on in her head and adjusting your game accordingly. Mystery Method works off of what's going on in
your head; you go from A1 to A2, then when IOIs are coming you go into A3, and then
In her head, SA looks like: “Oh, ok, he seems cool and sexy. Alright, I'll see what he's about. Maybe a shit test or two.”
In DA, it looks like this: “BACK OFF BITCHES! This one is MINE!” In SA, she wants to test you to see what you're made of. In DA, she wants you to make out with her hard.
Compliance testing is a mediocre way to look at her depth of attraction. As long as it is dampened by ASD or other factors, it isn't pure or totally reliable. But when a girl gets pissed off because you were chatting with another girl, or when she can't keep her hands off of you, it's hard to argue with that evidence.
What my superficial attraction game consists of is coupling moderate kino IOIs with moderate verbal IODs. Other methods have a comfort phase, but mine doesn't. I run attraction until the close, trying to keep BT up. Once you drop BT by going into comfort, it is easy to lose the set. Some girls will ask for more comfort, so in those cases oblige briefly and do some basic vibing, but then snip and stack into some kino or another BT-spiking thread.
Example:
HB: So why did you choose to be a lawyer.
PUA: Because it's really stimulating intellectually...why did you choose to be a singer? HB: (blah blah blah)
PUA: (eye fucks her) You're so fucking adorable...come here! (hug and kiss) Ok, now we're gonna work on your superficial attraction game.
The elements of the SA phase are:
1. Buying temperature (BT) spiking, which may include teasing, kino, sexualizing and humor.
2. Loads of proximity and kino.
3. Verbal IODs, including disqualifiers and negs.
You want to fry her circuits by coupling verbal IODs with physical IOIs. Your body is saying you want her, but your words are saying you're not sure or are disinterested. You want to maintain the baseline of seductive and sensual, but you want to have numerous BT spikes.
On the following page are a few graphs to illustrate the concept of energy level. Let's take a look at these graphs, which plot time in set on the x-axis and energy level on the y-axis. The blue line is the PUA, the pink is the set.
The top graph represents the low-energy chode. He enters well below the energy level of the set, makes idle fluff talk that goes nowhere, and winds up bringing the set's energy level down a bit (though not totally to his level, since they aren't invested in him). Eventually his own energy level drops as his state is affected by the set's poor response to him. He then goes and sits in a dark corner by himself, further resenting all women.
Alright, the middle graph. This is the dancing monkey entertainer guy. He enters the set way above its energy level, and he holds it there. He briefly brings the energy level of the set up since he is amusing to them. But eventually he wears them down and they lose interest. Their own energy level drops a bit, and they eject. The dancing monkey's energy remains high since that is who he is. Nonreactive to others, but in a way that doesn't help his game.
Finally, let's look at the bottom graph. This is how the game should be played. Notice the PUA enters at an energy level that is slightly above that of the set, and spikes frequently. His spikes generate BT spikes in the set. As time progresses, the spikes get less frequent, and are unpredictable. Once he's got the energy level up a bit, he gradually brings it down. He controls it, with the level of the set following suit. Notice he doesn't want the baseline to drop completely, nor does he want it too high. A seductive baseline needs to be lower than the party vibe he entered on, but not so low that they lose interest and wander off.
So that's the big picture on energy level. Now let's zero in on those BT spikes. There are numerous ways to get a girl's BT up, but these are always illogical and emotional. Getting into a heated political debate tends not to do it. Smacking her ass or teasing her about her choice of words will do it.
Avoid logical threads at all costs. Logic won't make girls horny, unless you're laying out a sexual foundation. Learn to speak “girl.” When you speak girl, you can leap from one topic to another without a logical transition. You can hold emotionally charged conversations that seem to be about nothing important, but maintain her interest. You can create inane future projections and do silly role-playing that the set will gobble up. Whenever you spike BT, she will be more inclined to comply. Things that spike BT:
1. Chick crack. Do some cold read, including strawberry fields, the cube or palmistry.
2. Tricking her. 5 Questions game by Style usually spikes BT at the end since it tricks her. Search for the YouTube video demonstrating this.
3. Teasing her. 4. Making her laugh. 5. Kino.
6. Dancing.
Check out the appendix in my Field Guide by The Judge on how to be funny. Note however that jokes per se typically will fail. A joke establishes the frame that you are there trying to amuse her. Women find this unattractive. You must always be self-amusing...the evil clown. If you say something humorous, it is done to give yourself a chuckle. The response of the set is irrelevant to you (other than it rewards you to bring value to people).
Those are mostly verbal tactics to spike BT. Equally important are physical methods. Women love to be touched, and being touchy-feely will almost always be appreciated, especially if you are coupling it with verbal value.
For example, if you approach a set and start touching them while saying “you guys are dressed up like little whores” or “when are you bitches gonna buy me a drink?” you probably won't get a favorable reaction. But if you approach with the exact same kino and say “Jeez, it looks like an episode of Girls Gone Wild over here!” it may get a better response.
For kino to be well-received and spike BT, you must also have good subcoms (eye
Do these BT-spiking exercises in set:
Ask her if she's ticklish, then tickle her. Do Style's 5 Questions game.
Run my palmistry routine from Ch. 6 Open by teasing her about some accessory (a belt, a purse, a hat).
Example: “Look at you, rockin the poodle purse!”
contact, relaxed facial expressions, confident body language, et cetera) AND you must offer some verbal value. Then escalation becomes quite easy. At most, a girl may back away from you slowly (especially if her husband or boyfriend is near-by), but they won't respond with harsh IODs. In short, when done well, kino is very attractive. See Chapter 9 for more information.
Now, the problem with using a lot of kino is it telegraphs massive IOIs to the target. If you also are telling her verbally how much you like her, there is a good chance she'll become disinterested. Women like to be challenged. This is classic cat-string theory. To offset your physical IOIs, you must send out verbal IODs during your SA phase. There are many ways to do this, but it should be done quite often at first, and then tapered down considerably as you enter DA. Ways to IOD include negs, qualifiers, disqualifiers, time constraints, and various other IODs (mentioning your girlfriend, trying to set her up with another guy in the venue, and so on).
While negs are effective disqualifiers, if done without the needed calibration skills, they will back-fire. I therefore consider the neg an intermediate tactic and don't recommend newbs try to use them.
I am not going to cover the comfort phase. I believe having rapport is a good thing, but I want you to spend your nights in attraction. Learn how to “speak girl.” Get good at spiking BT and using it to gain compliance. Comfort tends to lower BT and compliance, so I don't consider it necessary until after sex.
