Sexual Wisdom 4 Catholics Rev.15

(1)

www.sexualwisdom.com

Richard Wetzel, MD

Based on Dr. Wetzel’s book:

SEXUAL WISDOM

Sex Education for Advanced Beginners, Inc. Huntington Beach · California · USA

(2)

Sex Education for Advanced Beginners, Inc, P0 Box 5574, Huntington Beach, California 92615

Printed in the United States of America Wetzel, Richard, M.D.

Sexual Wisdom for Catholic Adolescents/ Richard Wetzel. --1st ed. ISBN: 978-0-9795402-1-9

Cover design by Emilio Rangel, based on Rachel McClain’s cover design of the book

Sexual Wisdom A Guide for Parents, Young Adults, Educators and Physicians by the

same author.

Reproductive system figures by Scott Solberg

As explained in the Introduction to Parents, this book was written for older teenagers. Ideally, we recommend that parents read it along with the student, however it may simply be given to the student to read. This book should not be used in a classroom or group setting. It should not be read by younger teenagers unless directed by the student’s parents or primary caregiver.

(3)

In loving memory of my mother,

Mrs. Sheila Rose Wetzel.

May she rest in peace under the

mantel of Our Lady of Guadalupe and

next to the Sacred Heart of Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

An essay by one of Sheila Wetzel’s grandchildren:

My earliest recollections of Grandmother Wetzel are of her sitting tranquilly in her chair in the dining room of my grandparents’ house conversing with my mom and dad and aunts and uncles. Meanwhile, my brothers, sisters, cousins, and I ran throughout the house, joyfully playing and chattering. As the years passed and I settled down enough to notice, this serene lady taught me several lessons about how to live life from the example she set. In particular, Grandma’s life was marked by graciousness, an appreciation for education, and patience, qualities which I would like to emulate.

(8)

Doubtless, the initial characteristic that struck a person when he first met my grandma was her graciousness. Grandma graced her family and friends by making them feel special. She never failed to greet one and all with her kind smile and a warm hug. Always the model of politeness, she made sure to include all who were present in the conversation at hand and eased newcomers into the discussion by filling them in on the current topic. When talking about people who were not present, Grandma restricted her remarks to those of a congenial nature. To those outside her social sphere, she demonstrated a respect for each person’s dignity. Even as she and my grandpa visited incarcerated youths for prison ministry, she saw past their rough exteriors and recognized the intrinsic value of each young man with whom they conversed. I wish to copy Grandma’s graciousness so that, like her, I can maintain a spirit of generosity and bring joy to others.

In addition to her gentility, Grandma possessed a great appreciation for education. She held memories of St. Mary’s Academy, her alma mater in Winnipeg, especially dear. She often recalled how she valued the opportunity to attend school there following her earlier education in a small rural community. In regard to her children’s education, my grandmother was an involved parent who was a regular at back-to-school nights and parent-teacher conferences. Moreover, she diversified her children’s educational experiences by taking them to enrichment classes at museums and local colleges. But, most importantly, she recognized her children’s various abilities and encouraged their academic goals accordingly. My dad, a physician, remembers that Grandma encouraged him to study medicine from the time he was a boy. In addition to her own children’s education, Grandma was also very interested in that of her grandchildren. She often asked questions about our progress in school and smiled proudly at the mention of any achievements. I

(9)

Dedication ix

desire to emulate my grandma’s esteem for education so that I too can realize the worth of God’s gift of knowledge. Although my grandmother had many commendable traits, I most admire her for her patience. During the last ten years of her life, Grandma was beset with numerous illnesses of various natures. Yet through all her suffering, she rarely complained. She invariably displayed patience with her infirmities during extended family vacations when the younger contingent opted to climb rocks at Yosemite Falls or to go jet skiing, strenuous activities of which she was incapable. Grandma never displayed any bitterness over missing the fun, but totally enjoyed when her exuberant grandchildren later delivered detailed (and sometimes embellished) accounts of their escapades. Grandma’s constant patience was, to me, her most admirable attribute and the one I most desire to reflect because it will help me to bear life’s hardships cheerfully. My grandmother’s graciousness, appreciation for education, and patience are qualities I wish to emulate in my own life. By imitating Grandma’s thoughtful treatment of people I aspire to see the face of Christ in others. Grandma’s high regard for education inspires me to appreciate it as a means for improving myself and the world around me. Lastly, I desire to mirror Grandma’s abundant patience as I endeavor to grow in virtue. By imitating these admirable qualities, I hope to lead a life of holiness in order to become the saint that God has called me to be.

(10)

(11)

Acknowledgments

With special thanks to my father, Chester Wetzel, Fr. Philip Smith, O. Praem, and Nancy C. Anderson for their extensive editorial assistance, and to Therese Naaden, for her contributions and insights. I also am most grateful for the timely, consistent technical expertise of Glenn Wetzel and David Lovat, and for the expert indexing skills of Janina Kwilos. My greatest thanks goes, of course, to the most beautiful woman in the world, my wife Dominique, whose love and support makes all things that happen in our home possible.

All proceeds from this book, which would normally benefit the author, are directed to a nonprofit, educational corpor-ation, Sex Education for Advanced Beginners, Inc. (SEFAB) in Huntington Beach, California. The sole purpose of this organization is to promote Sexual Wisdom, Sexual Wisdom

for Catholic Adolescents and other educational activities of

(12)

(13)

Publisher’s Pledge

We publish Sexual Wisdom for Catholic Adolescents to address a catastrophic crisis in Catholic sexuality education. We are determined to confront the widespread ignorance of the unsurpassable teaching of the Church among our youth in a realistic and effective manner. The world needed a sexual revolution, but got the wrong one. We needed the one based on truth and love, the one Pope John Paul II presented in the Theology of the Body. Instead we got one based on lies, pleasure and freedom, which has turned into a hideous monster of a revolution marred by rampant diseases, death, divorce, abortions, sexual enslavement, etc., and which is sweeping away hopelessly ignorant young people in droves and robbing them of the awesome potential of an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ.

In this spirit, the non-profit corporation Sex Education for Advanced Beginners Inc., the publishers of this book, will provide as many boxes of books needed, at $2 per book, which is essentially our cost (retail price $12.95), to anyone, including any high school, diocese, parish or other organization that will give the books to 11th

grade (16-17 years old) students to take home and discuss with their parents. We recommend that the books be sent home with a letter that explains to parents the options of going through the course with the student or just having the student read it on his or her own. The boxes and shipping charges must be paid for up front. Details are on our web site at www.sexual wisdom.com.

This offer is also extended to Catholic dioceses outside the United States that agree to distribute the books to the parents of 16-17 year olds and adults 18 years and older. For these dioceses, we will email the computer files and permissions at no charge, so that the books may be printed locally. All financial arrangements related to the printing of the books are between the diocese and the local printer or

(14)

publisher. The international program must be overseen by the local diocese and is currently closed to other organizations. Again, details are on our web site.

This curriculum is a radical departure from chastity, or “family life,” courses and presentations that have been available for decades. Those programs include younger (13-14 year old) students or group settings and so are necessarily restricted in their scope. They are like taking students to the movies and then making them leave after the previews. Much of the information that would benefit students is inappropriate for younger teenagers and group settings, and so students do not get to see the main feature. While some of these programs offer a valuable introduction to the subject of sexual purity to younger adolescents, this approach generally has been a tragic failure. We are not opposed to chastity programs or books for younger teenagers as long as they consistently address the sensitivities of the less worldly students and more cautious parents. Some students are inspired by these programs. They can admirably prime students for the feature presentation, but cannot deliver it.

Sending home this book to parents for them to evaluate with their student is like sending home a copy of the feature film so that the parents can watch it with the student, the student can read it alone, or anyone can refer back to it at any time. Showing the feature film to students effectively equips them to face the immense and incessant challenges to their purity in the contemporary, “hook up” culture. This book gives young people, most of who are earnestly seeking answers, the whole story about human sexuality and can be truly transforming. The fact that so many youths are not receiving clear instruction in theology, philosophy and sexual ethics is a grave injustice.

For the latest information about this exciting, evolving program please visit our web site at www.sexualwisdom.com.

(15)

AMDG

*

Introduction to Parents

Catholicism has been in a crisis of sexuality education for decades. Because most Catholic young people do not know the Church’s unsurpassable teaching on sexuality, they do not accept it, let alone rejoice in it. Even in homes where Catholic values are strongly emphasized, the children often fall into serious sexual sin as adolescents and young adults. According to a 2008 study by the Cardinal Newman Society, 60% of U.S. Catholic college students believe that abortion should be legal and that premarital sex is not a sin. Our Catholic young adults and teenagers are clearly in free fall, with little appreciation for the merciless and vulgar nature of the sexual revolution they are engulfed in.

The Holy Roman Catholic Church teaches that parents are the primary sexuality educators of their children†_{but, despite the obvious}

need, there are relatively few available aids to help parents meet this challenging obligation. Most Catholic resources on sexuality education are either geared toward a classroom or group presentation or to an age group too young for a full exploration of the issues. Other resources include short books which are heavily weighted toward a

*_{Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam or “To the Greater Glory of God.”}

†_{The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality: Guidelines for Education within the}

Family (1995) by the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for the Family. Catechism of the Catholic Church: 1632, 2221, 2223. Familiaris Consortio: 36, 37.

(16)

more general education on the faith but which offer little education in Catholic sexuality, are not faithful to the magisterial teachings of Mother Church, or are too dated to address some of the current issues young Catholics face.

As a Catholic chastity educator for the last 20 years, I felt that none of the available materials were the best possible option for my own children; so I wrote this course for them. I am now presenting this course to the public, for what benefit it may be to others. It is a true gift to me each time I teach it to one of my children. This is a Catholic course but it does not offer nor does it in any way replace sound, comprehensive Catholic catechesis.

With this book, parents can provide a comprehensive, intimate, one-on-one program to their own children. In so doing, a parent can enrich this material by giving a personalized explanation of each lesson as he or she reads it with the student alongside. Each student must be considered individually and each parent will have his or her own tales, experiences, struggles, and knowledge to share with the child. While that is the optimal scheme for the use of this material it is, admittedly, a great undertaking. Therefore, for a variety of reasons, many households will not manage it.

In cases in which parents are unable to go through the course with the teenager, the material is written so that a student may go through it by himself. If this approach is used, parents should ensure that the student is aware of the glossary at the end of the course for an explanation of terms with which the student may be unfamiliar. Also, such students should be encouraged to address questions about the course to their parents or a wise and holy priest. The “Adolescent Course Examination” may be used to document that the student read and comprehended the material. The appendices for younger children, found at the end of the course, should not be self-taught. Also, this course should never be used in a classroom or group setting unless the group is adults-only. Also, it should never be taught to two siblings at once, but rather to one child at a time.

Because we live in a sexually challenged culture, which has led to a crisis among our Catholic youth, every Catholic teenager should take this course or its equivalent. While we do not wish to feed into the unhealthy obsession that our society has with sexuality, issues related to it are truly important, and the widespread inept, unthinking,

(17)

Introduction to Parents xvii

and often barbaric “modern” ideas about sexuality cry out for a counterpoint.

Children should be taught from an early age that there are some issues which are adult in nature—issues that they will not understand until they reach a certain level of maturity—and that a premature discussion of them can be harmful. Parents who have laid this foundation can refer back to it throughout the child’s early years and remind the child that he or she is not ready for certain subjects.

By the same token, parents must make it clear to their children that they will address adult topics and answer all of their questions when the time is right; and they must also make it clear that they look forward to that day (although perhaps with some natural trepidation). This arrangement makes sense to children, gives them confidence in their parents, and helps to allay their natural anxieties about not knowing enough about adult issues when they really do need to know about them.

Parents may reasonably wonder what sex education is. What is it that our Church expects of us as primary sex educators of our children? It consists of many aspects, one of the most important being the parents’ example. When Mom dresses modestly and when Dad responds to a vulgar commercial by changing the TV channel they send critical messages to children. Sex education also means developing open lines of communication with children—developing strong bonds with them so that they are confident in our willingness to address challenges with them, including those in the realm of sexuality. Simply teaching children the faith is sex education. Many aspects of the faith touch directly or indirectly on sexuality. For example, the idea that each person must be treated with the dignity due a child of God certainly implies that one should not engage in sexual acts that are against that dignity. Religiosity within families has been shown repeatedly to reduce the risk of teen pregnancy. It is also part of home-based sex education to bring up subjects related to sexuality during the teachable moment, for example, when an issue comes up during family movie night or in a book one of the children is reading for school. This, too, is invaluable sex education.

But sex education goes beyond these aspects in two ways. Sexuality is a broad subject and it is unlikely that parents will bring up the many important subjects related to it on a “catch as catch can”

(18)

basis. Some structure is warranted to ensure that parents have, in fact, covered what needs to be covered by the time the child is grown.

Most parents readily agree on the above aspects of sex education, but a final aspect is the subject of debate. There are many topics related to sexuality that are sensitive or uncomfortable to discuss. They are embarrassing or otherwise unpleasant. Despite this, it is vital for students to have some grasp of many of these topics: sexual intercourse, masturbation, pornography, rape, sexual perversions, to name a few. Our children deserve better than to be educated “on the street” or by the Internet, or by “friends.” Some argue that parents should simply focus on developing strong relationships with their children and then wait for children to bring up sensitive topics on an as needed basis. Unfortunately, reality doesn’t work that way, and for many that day somehow never comes. Due to a natural modesty, children are just as shy as parents about bringing up these topics. Also, they may not raise sensitive issues with parents for fear of the parent’s disappointment with them. The worst part is that students may be least likely to come to parents about more serious problems, because they may involve the more embarrassing topics or may raise the greatest worries about causing disappointment.

Therefore, the only realistic option is for parents to raise these sensitive issues directly with their children. We should not put the burden on children. When the Church asks us to be primary sex educators of our children it is asking more from us than that. As a sex educator and physician, I have personally witnessed the results when parents leave it to the children to approach them with sensitive issues. Not only do many students fall into serious sin, but there is often great resentment of the parents for not having taught the student what the student clearly should know. We are the adults, and the burden should be on us to make the first move in difficult terrain. That is part of what this course is about: helping parents reach out to their children about subjects that are clearly part of sex education, but which are difficult to talk about.

It is unreasonable to expect children who are exposed to so many negative influences in our culture to develop chaste attitudes without specific direction from those who have the authority to give it. Much of what children learn today from “the street” is what might be called “sex trivia” and has nothing to do with the heart and soul of the issue.

(19)

Introduction to Parents xix

The average teenager today knows far more about sex trivia and far less about what sexuality is really about than any prior generation. Parents should have every confidence that they can offer their children a much better understanding of sexuality than what children can learn on their own.

Providing children with a full presentation of Catholic sexuality by the time they “leave the nest” as young adults has many benefits: it ensures that children are adequately prepared for the contemporary world, such as it is; it gives children confidence in their parents’ love and concern for them; it lays the foundation for a lifetime of discussions about intimate or deeply personal issues; and, by giving younger children confidence that, at some point, they will be offered a comprehensive course on sexuality, it will reduce the possibility that children will prematurely search for answers from unreliable sources.

Further, parents cannot rely on schools, not even Catholic schools, to educate their children properly on sexuality. The vast majority of what publicly educated children receive in this country on sexuality is grossly inappropriate and misleading. In many cases it is abusive and blatantly sinful. Similarly, many Catholic schools fail to offer students a faithful and proper introduction to the subject. Given what children are up against in this culture, one could argue that today’s parents are negligent if they do not assure adequate Catholic sexuality education for their children through late adolescence. Again, I suggest that every Catholic teenager should take this course or its equivalent, even if the student has had some sort of sexuality education in school.

Some will argue that the material presented here should be discussed at younger ages than we propose. It is true that there are some children who are exposed to adult issues so prematurely that delaying discussion until the student is 16 or 17 is impractical and awkward. Parents must use their best judgment. Although some may feel that the age of 16 is too young for some students, waiting until a student is 18 may give the student the idea that his or her parents lack confidence in the student’s development. In general, male students should be taught earlier than females and homeschoolers should be taught later than those in traditional school settings. We consider 16-17 years of age to be the best time to teach the course to a female, homeschooled student.

(20)

This course offers complete coverage of a wide range of subjects. The topic of sexuality is important enough to devote a good deal of energy and time toward teaching. Because of the importance of sexuality, Pope John Paul II made the subject a central theme of his pontificate. His numerous contributions on sexuality include books (The Theology of the Body, Love and Responsibility), encyclicals (The

Gospel of Life [Evangelium Vitae]), apostolic exhortations

(Familiaris Consortio), apostolic letters (Letter to the Family), etc. The first part of Pope Benedict XVI’s first encyclical, God is Love, also picks up on the theme. I highly recommend that parents read these wonderful resources and discuss them or make them available to their children. Another reason for completeness is that I wrote this course to mold my children into Catholic activists—soldiers for Christ. Activists must be armed with information, so I included more material than I might have with a more "essentials-only” approach in mind.

From discussions with experienced parents it is evident that there are different ways to use the adolescent course based on parenting style and preferences. Parents who read through this course along with their children may wish to edit sections of it that they feel their children already understand, to reduce the course length, or to exclude topics that they feel are unnecessary. The course should be considered a template, parts of which can be expanded upon or eliminated. Parents who prefer a more informal approach may want to simply use the course as a general outline of the subjects, or as a way of checking to see what subjects they have left uncovered. Or, as mentioned before, parents may simply opt to have the student read the course on his or her own.

Some will argue that the material in this course is too explicit. While we have tried to limit discussion about the dark side of sexuality, the truth is that there is an overwhelming amount of it in the modern world and those entering adulthood should have familiarity with many of its aspects. Adolescents will do better if they have been informed about the issues at least once by a trusted adult. We believe that even children with a potential religious vocation should have this information presented to them in a clear manner at least once, and our experience bears this out.

(21)

Introduction to Parents xxi

For example, consider a possible missed opportunity involving the appalling modern sex slave industry, not mentioned in this book, in which thousands of girls and women are sold into the most degrading circumstances, especially in Asia and Africa. While some Catholics are addressing this tragedy we are unaware of cloistered nuns who have been directed to pray specifically for those involved. What if teenagers were to read about the situation in this course and were transformed through Christ and, with the approval of their superiors, dedicated their lives to praying for the victims and perpetrators of this dreadful business? By raising such issues, students gain insight into the terrible consequences of sexual impurity and the possible ways of countering it, and tap into their potential for greatness. By failing to explicitly mention such issues in this book, the author consciously allows for missed opportunities. The nagging question remains: Where should the cutoff lie? One may argue that this course covers too much, but such examples justify the idea that it may not cover enough.

Another example of what is not in this book, but perhaps should be, is the “black genocide” that has been occurring in the United States for decades. Blacks make up 13% of the population of the United States and yet over 38% of abortions are done on black women. This is three times the expected rate. Hundreds of thousands of black children are being murdered by Planned Parenthood and other abortionists every year, all without comment from black political leaders. Planned Parenthood receives hundreds of millions of dollars of United States federal money every year to do this and is strongly supported by our black president. What a tragic, horrid irony. Again, this issue is not discussed in this book but perhaps it should be.

Each lesson in the course should take from 45 to 90 minutes, or longer depending on how much the parent expands on the material. We suggest reading one lesson every week or two during the school year (perhaps on weekends) or two lessons per week as a summer project. There is no homework. There are no ancillary materials needed for this course, although, the book A Child Is Born is an excellent reference for Lesson 1. There is no particular time period over which the course should be taught. We have included a test at the

(22)

end of the course (with a cut out answer sheet) in case parents wish to use this course for home schooling credit or to monitor that their student has read all the material.

My book, Sexual Wisdom: A Guide for Parents, Young Adults,

Educators and Physicians, was written to help adults (regardless of

their faith) clarify their ideas about sexuality and offers general guidelines about how to educate one’s children. It uses a non-theological, natural law approach. To compliment this book we recommend to Catholic adults Christopher West’s book, Good News

About Sex and Marriage, which covers much the same ground as

Sexual Wisdom but from the standpoint of Catholic theology.

While it is impossible (and not really desirable) to shelter children entirely from adult issues in our oversexed culture, it is possible (and desirable) to shelter them to a great degree. Children have a developmental need to have a childhood, an age of innocence, but this is often compromised in our contemporary world. Home-based sexuality education begins in early childhood by the manner in which parents present a respectful approach to intimacy. Modesty, in particular, is an important concept that young children readily grasp. The following suggestions are meant to help parents shelter their children from unnecessary, potentially harmful exposure to sexually-oriented materials until they are ready.

• Daily newspapers tend to have little regard for the sensitivities of children. We recommend not receiving a local, daily newspaper in your home. The Wall Street Journal is a superb alternative. It carries a great deal of business news that neither we nor our children care about, but it also offers concise news summaries and intelligent editorials, book reviews and stories, and does not carry offensive, blaring headlines or front-page articles about the latest vulgarity. And, because it has very few pictures, children who are too young to read a newspaper ignore it. Those who are old enough appreciate it.

• As an alternative to a local newspaper, parents may wish to use Internet news sites for articles to keep children up-to-date with major events in a more filtered manner. We leave printouts from these on the breakfast table for our children.

(23)

Introduction to Parents xxiii

• Connect only one computer in the house to the Internet and be sure that it has reliable parental blocking and is located in a central, “public” area of the home. Blocking is best done through an ISP as opposed to using a software program. Even with blocking, children should not generally be allowed to cruise the Internet unsupervised.

• Sign up for a TV provider that has parental blocking capability and that offers good family shows and movies (especially the older ones) and that carry Mother Angelica’s Global Catholic Network, EWTN. Try to rely more on prerecorded programs than live shows. When live programming is on, either a parent or trusted older child should keep the remote control handy and change stations for offensive commercials and hit “mute” for less offensive ones.

• Do not have fashion magazines or sports magazines with a swimsuit mentality in your house. Instead read Consumer

Reports, Reader’s Digest, or craft and woodworking magazines.

What if, despite the parent’s best efforts, a child sees Internet porno-graphy?

Some of the dilemmas parents face related to their children’s sexuality are covered in my book, Sexual Wisdom. This one is not, and it is a common and distressing one. Therefore, I make some recommendations here.

I would let the child know that we live in a world filled with beauty and wonder, but also with its share of ugliness. Many people live sad, confused lives, and do not have inherent self-respect as children of God. It is common for people who are struggling inside to become involved in activities which are vulgar and demeaning. Unhappy people engage in very upsetting activities at times. It is a sign of how sad they are. Children do better when they avoid such ugliness but sometimes they are mistakenly exposed to it.

In general, it is best to approach this situation by saying the least amount about what the child saw. The child should be told that he is too young to understand fully what happened, but that you will discuss more with him about it when he is an appropriate age.

The child should be encouraged to ask questions at the time of the incident, with your assurance that you will answer them as best you

(24)

can. The dialogue that follows such an incident may not end with one conversation. It should be made clear that either the parent or child should feel free to raise the issue again to re-discuss the incident, or related subjects. You want to make sure that the child knows that you are always there for him, even to discuss uncomfortable questions. It is important to reiterate these points until you are sure the child is clear on them.

If there is a sense that the child sinned during the incident, the child should go to Confession. But caution is appropriate here because there may be no sin involved and some children are overly hard on themselves after such an incident. The people in the pornography sinned, but usually not the child.

If such an incident occurs, parents may also want to peruse the pornography section of this curriculum for ideas to discuss with the child as the parents feel appropriate.

In addition to the comprehensive course for late adolescents (16-17 year-olds) the curriculum also contains four elements for children 10-14 years of age, as follows:

¾ A Brief Guide for What Fathers Should Discuss with 10-11 Year-Old Boys.

¾ A Brief Guide for What Fathers Should Discuss with 12-13 Year-Old Boys.

¾ A Brief Guide for What Mothers Should Discuss with Girls Before the First Menstrual Period.

¾ A Very Brief Note about Discussing Homosexuality with 14-Year-Olds.

The last of these elements and the full course for late adolescence may be taught by a parent or primary caregiver of either gender. There are legitimate reasons for preferring that this subject matter be taught by someone of the same gender as the student. However, I favor the father teaching the adolescent course, regardless of the gender of the child who is being taught. Fathers are generally more suited to ensuring that their children don’t fall prey to the harsh blows life can deal; fathers seem more suited to teach children how to manage in a “bad” neighborhood,

(25)

Introduction to Parents xxv

how to avoid getting taken by swindlers, how to avoid ever paying credit card interest, and how to keep daughters from getting sweet-talked into the sack. So, in that sense, fathers are a “best fit” for the adolescent part of the curriculum. Of course, each family must make their own best choice as to the most appropriate instructor for this important and sensitive subject matter.

This course is based on two decades of experience teaching chastity. In putting this material together I was again reminded of, and somewhat overwhelmed by, the state of sexuality in our country today. The difference between holy, healthy sexuality and the widely accepted immorality of the 21st_{century is appalling. Thankfully, there}

are always those willing to challenge the status quo and themselves and to seek the higher levels of human experience. We pray that this course will bear great fruit in that direction.

The late Alan Guttmacher, past president of Planned Parenthood, promised in 1979 that, “the only avenue in which Planned Parenthood has to win the battle is sex education.” Over the last 30 years, through school sex education courses full of distortions and contradictions and supporting the most sordid approach to sexuality, Mr. Guttmacher’s side has trounced all opposition. Hopefully, through this curriculum and through the efforts of other chastity educators we can create a dramatic, effective and sustained counterattack in this battle for the hearts, minds and souls of children.

By request, we have produced Sexual Wisdom for Catholic

Adolescents in book form, but it will remain a freed download from

our web site. For those who wish to buy this book in bulk, at cost, to distribute to older teenagers please see our Publisher’s Pledge in the front of the book. Non-Catholics are most welcome to take advantage of any of our programs. Please monitor www.sexualwisdom.com for more information.

Donations to our nonprofit corporation SEFAB (which stands for

Sex Education for Advanced Beginners, Inc.) are always gratefully

accepted. Checks should be payable to SEFAB and sent to the address below. Also, feedback/criticism of any type is always most welcome.

(26)

SEFAB, Inc. P0 Box 5574

Huntington Beach, California 92615 USA

The book, Sexual Wisdom: A Guide for Parents, Young Adults,

Educators and Physicians, may be ordered through your local

bookstore or online. For bulk orders please visit our website: www.sexualwisdom.com.

Saint Francis of Assisi’s Prayer before the Crucifix

Most High, glorious God, enlighten the darkness of my heart. Give me true faith, certain hope, and perfect charity, sense and knowledge, Lord, that I may carry out Your holy and true command. Amen.

(27)

(28)

(29)

Lesson 1

The Biology of Human Sexuality

¾ Say a prayer before the lesson.

C

onversations about sexuality between parents and their children are a natural part of family life beginning when children are very young. Due to the nature of the subject, discussions before the teenage years are limited. But by the time the late teenage years are reached the talks should take a more open, adult turn. This course is meant to help make the transition to these more adult discussions between parent and teenager, and will hopefully set the stage for future conversations that will last your whole lives together.

In some ways, sexuality is an extremely simple subject; in other ways it is one of the strangest, most complex and confusing aspects

of life. For example, consider the 18th_{century Shakers of New}

England. On the basis of their religious beliefs, this group prohibited sex even between spouses, thus making it impossible for married couples to have children. The only way the group could get new members was through conversions and so, of course, the religion inevitably died out.

Human sexuality is shrouded in mystery. It is a gift from God that brings new life. It is associated with tremendous pleasure. This pleasure can be very good news, but can also be very bad news,

(30)

because the desire for such pleasure often becomes an occasion for sin and abuse.

In general, the modern age has a horribly perverted approach to sexuality, although every generation has had some share of botching up the issue. One concern for parents is how much to discuss with their children, especially about the abnormal behaviors and attitudes. Since it is important to know about sexuality, this course will tell you a great deal.

The subject matter for this lesson is normal sexuality. Much of the rest of the course will deal with abnormal sexuality. We will first discuss the biology of sex so that we all know what we are talking about, and then we will turn to the Church’s teaching about what it all means. The discussion of healthy, normal sexuality is relatively brief because there is not much to tell of how sexuality ought to be. The basic idea is not at all complicated from the biological standpoint. Most of the specifics about normal sexual behavior is learned by the married couple in their personal relations with each other. The couple’s particular preferences determine what patterns of behavior are present in their relationship, and cannot be taught in a course. The Marital Embrace: “The Birds and the Bees”

A friend noted that when his dad told him about “the birds and the bees” the whole thing made him feel sick to his stomach. It may initially strike you that way because the biological realities about sexuality may not be the way you imagined them. But bear in mind that it is all God’s plan and because of this there is profound goodness and beauty in it. Your appreciation of this will increase with time.

Married couples express their affection for each other in many ways: hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc. But the most intimate and important way they express physical intimacy is through sexual intercourse.

• “Foreplay”: Before married couples engage in sexual inter-course, they must first become sexually aroused.

o Male Arousal: When the husband becomes aroused his penis develops an erection. The penis becomes much firmer, longer and wider.

(31)

The Biology of Human Sexuality 3

o Female Arousal: When the wife becomes aroused she experiences vaginal lubrication (mucus is secreted from glands inside her) and other internal changes to the vagina. Women are typically slower to arouse than men. • Sexual Intercourse: also known as “the marital embrace,” “the

marital act,” “sex,” “intercourse,” “making love,” “coitus,” “consummating a marriage,” “doing it,” “copulation,” “going to bed,” and a long list of vulgar terms. The act itself is based on the simple peg-in-hole concept. The erect penis is placed into the lubricated vagina.

• Lubrication is necessary and is naturally provided by the glands inside the vagina of the aroused woman.

Physical pleasure increases with the movement of the genitals (the penis and vagina) against each other.

• Orgasm or Climax: an intensely pleasurable, unique sensation that seems to affect the whole body and lasts for many seconds. During orgasm the man ejaculates (or squirts) semen, which is made up of millions of very small sperm cells from the testes (also known as testicles) and secretions from the prostate and seminal vesicles, from his penis into the vagina. Both men and women can achieve orgasm in any one sexual episode, or either or both may not. Men tend to be more goal-oriented than women, in the sense that men typically have a stronger desire to achieve orgasm with every intense sexual encounter. A general goal should be for both spouses to achieve orgasm together with regularity throughout marriage. Orgasm is immediately followed by a period of a markedly tranquil mood and physical inertness or calm which lasts for many minutes. Also, after orgasm the man loses his erection and the woman stops secreting lubricating mucus. • Hymen: a ring of threadlike tissue that encircles the woman’s

vagina, which tears upon first intercourse if still intact. The tearing may cause slight pain or bleeding.

(32)

Early Human Development and Birth

• Ovulation: An egg, or ovum, is released from one of the two ovaries about two weeks after the woman’s last period.

• Fertilization: After its release from the ovary, the egg cell, full of nutrients, travels down the fallopian tube. If the timing of sexual intercourse is right, the sperm from the man meet with the egg in the fallopian tube and one sperm cell breaks through the outer coating of the egg cell. The 23 chromosomes (genetic material) from the nucleus of the sperm mix with the 23 chromosomes of the egg to make a zygote with 46 chromosomes. (With rare, specific exceptions, every cell in the human body, except for sperm and eggs, has 46 chromosomes.) The zygote is a unique combination of the sperm and the egg. It is one cell but has all of the genetic components of a human. From this point until the end of adolescence, the developing human simply multiplies its cells to form more cells and become larger and more developed. A newborn’s body is made up of millions of cells.

Each cell in your body contains an exact copy of the 46 chromosomes found in the zygote. This genetic material is unique to you. No one in history has ever had your exact chromosomes, starting from the moment in which the sperm and egg cells that made you united. This moment is called fertilization or conception. It is at this stage that human life begins.

• Implantation: From the time when the initial cell of the zygote divides into more and more cells until the second month of life the developing baby is called an “embryo” (after the second month it is called a “fetus”). Once the embryo has traveled the length of the fallopian tube, it enters the uterus and implants (attaches) into the side of the uterus. This is called implantation. From here the baby continues to grow and develop until it is ready for birth. In the weeks following implantation the placenta develops and there is a gradual transition from the baby receiving its nourishment from the remnants of the big egg cell to the placenta. The placenta be-comes the source of nutrients and oxygen to the baby from the

(33)

Female Anatomy (Frontal View)

The egg is released from an ovary into the open end of the fallopian tube (depicted with a frayed appearance) and travels through the length of it to the uterus.

(34)

(35)

Male Anatomy (Side View)

Urine flows down the ureters from the kidneys to the urinary bladder and then passes from the bladder through the urethra to exit the body. During orgasm, the sperm travel up the vas deferens and join with secretions from the seminal vesicles and prostate before exiting the body through the urethra in the form of semen.

(36)

Fertilization

A sperm cell starts to penetrate the outer layer of the egg cell. The moment of conception or fertilization, when life begins, is about to happen. Image copyright Dennis Kunkel Microscopy, Inc. (www.denniskunkel.com)

(37)

The Biology of Human Sexuality 5

mother. The reason that an egg cell is hundreds of times larger than a sperm cell is because the embryo must live off the nutrients that make up most of the egg cell until the placenta is formed. • The uterus or womb is where the baby develops; it is a

pear-shaped organ that sits with the narrow end of the pear facing down. The narrowe r end is called the cervix and it has a hole at the end (where the stem of the pear would be). This is where the sperm enter. Throughout pregnancy the uterus must stretch a great deal to accommodate the growing baby.

• Birth

o Labor: the hours before birth when the uterus, which is really a large muscle, contracts every few minutes, gradually pushing the baby down toward the cervix. The contractions are called “labor pains,” and by pushing the baby against the cervix the hole in it gradually expands (opens) from less than ½ inch to about 4 inches (the width of the baby’s head), finally allowing the baby to pass through it.

o Once the cervical hole is wide enough for the baby to pass through the actual birth happens within a number of seconds. The baby quickly passes from inside the uterus, past the cervix and vagina and outside the mother’s body. In other words, the baby travels down the path the sperm came up. Other Health Issues

• A PAP smear is a test for cancer of the cervix. The cervix is swabbed with a brush, Q-tip, or small stick that often looks much like a Popsicle stick. The sample contains cells which are sent to the lab for evaluation.

•

Male Circumcision: This is a minor surgical procedure in which

an extra flap of skin that covers the tip of the penis is cut off. There is controversy as to whether this is a good idea. The history and origin of circumcision are unclear but the procedure is a common part of many ancient religions and cultures. One argument in favor of it is that since most men are circumcised, boys who aren’t may feel that they are abnormal, because they look different. Also, circumcised men have less risk of infections of the penis and possibly less risk of penile cancer. Some believe

(38)

that circumcision reduces the sensitivity of the penis and that this helps men to control their sexual urges. However, many people consider circumcision an unnecessary surgery. Both sides have valid arguments.

Catholic Church Teaching on Sexuality

So What Does All This Mean?

Now that we are all on the same page regarding the scientific aspects of sexuality we need to consider what it all means. Despite rumors to the contrary, sexuality is not an issue the Church wishes to hide in a closet or is uneasy with. Rather it is an issue the Church has explored in a most open and exhaustive manner. In fact, the Holy Roman Catholic Church is the world leader in the discussion of sexuality. No other religion or organization speaks out so often with such clarity and obvious authority on the subject than our Church. The Catholic Church, however, does not promote itself well. Because of this, many people who do not know anything about Catholicism (including a surprising percentage of Catholics) think that the Church’s views on sexuality are outdated and harsh, which is exactly the opposite of the truth. The truth is that the Church’s views are far ahead of “progressive” thought in the modern world and vastly more refined.

George Weigel, one of our country’s most prominent Catholic theologians writes:

At the beginning of the pontificate (of Pope John Paul II in 1978), the world—and a lot of Catholics—thought the Church had nothing of interest to say about human sexuality. The Pope's teaching that sexual love within the bond of faithful and fruitful (having many children) marriage is an icon of the interior life of God reversed the polarities. Now, the Catholic Church could say to the promoters of the sexual revolution, “You think of sex as another contact sport. We think of sex as a revelation of the deepest truths about the human and the divine. Who takes sex more seriously?”

(39)

Catholic Church Teaching on Sexuality 7

Let us quote a few documents of our glorious Mother Church. Notice that two of the lessons in this course include a number of extended quotes from our Church. This is one of them, which makes for a long (but I trust most interesting) lesson.

First, consider a few selected quotes from the Bible: Genesis 1:25-28

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.”

Genesis 2:15-25

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” . . . The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they be-come one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.

(40)

Matthew 22:35-40

And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question, to test him. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” And he (Jesus) said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” On these two command-ments depend all the law and the prophets.”

Ephesians 5:21-31

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

1 Cor. 6:15-20

“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I therefore take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two shall become one flesh.’ But he who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Shun immorality. Every other sin which a man commits is outside the body; but the immoral man sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

(41)

How Does the Church Interpret Biblical Teachings About Sexuality? Since the Bible, like any other book, is interpreted differently by different readers we turn to the Catholic Church for the authentic interpretation of what the Bible (Sacred Scripture) and Sacred Tradition teach us about sexuality. The following quotations are from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (1993). The numbers refer to the paragraph numbers in the Catechism.

2392. Love is the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.

1604. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love. Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good, in the Creator's eyes.

1652. By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring (children) and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory.

Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves. . . . Hence, true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it, without diminishment of the other ends of marriage, are directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Savior, who through them will increase and enrich his family from day to day. (from the document of Vatican II, Gaudium et spes)

2207. The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in society.

(42)

1618. Christ is the center of all Christian life. The bond with him takes precedence over all other bonds, familial or social. From the very beginning of the Church there have been men and women who have renounced the great good of marriage to follow the Lamb wherever he goes (into the priesthood or religious life), to be intent on the things of the Lord, to seek to please him, and to go out to meet the Bridegroom who is coming. Christ himself has invited certain persons to follow him in this way of life, of which he remains the model. 1619. Virginity (not having sex before marriage) for the sake of the kingdom of heaven is an unfolding of baptismal grace, a powerful sign of the supremacy of the bond with Christ and of the ardent expectation of his return, a sign which also recalls that marriage is a reality of this present age which is passing away.

And Now a Word from Our Recent Popes (with some parenthetical clarifications):

Pope John Paul II (who was pope before Pope Benedict XVI) wrote in The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World (in Latin, Familiaris Consortio -1981):

11. Consequently, sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is by no means something purely biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and a woman commit themselves totally to one another until death.

Later he writes:

11. The only “place” in which this self-giving in its whole truth is made possible is marriage, the covenant of conjugal (marital) love freely and consciously chosen, whereby man and woman accept the intimate community of life and love willed by God Himself which only in this light manifests its true meaning. The institution of marriage is not an undue interference by society or authority, nor the extrinsic imposition of a form. Rather it is an interior

(43)

requirement of the covenant of conjugal love which is publicly affirmed as unique and exclusive, in order to live in complete fidelity to the plan of God, the Creator.

And further on (quoting himself at one point):

13. By virtue of the sacramentality of their marriage, spouses are bound to one another in the most profoundly indissoluble manner. Their belonging to each other is the real representation, by means of the sacramental sign, of the very relationship of Christ with the Church. . . . The content of participation in Christ's life is also specific: conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter—appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, the unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility. In a word it is a question of the normal characteristics of all natural conjugal love, but with a new significance which not only purifies and strengthens them, but raises them to the extent of making them the expression of specifically Christian values.”

The last sentence of this passage reminds me of an important truth that can help in all areas of life, including sexuality. The truth is that the following four words ultimately mean the same thing: normal, natural, healthy and holy (two “N”s and two “H”s). The more normal I am in the way I live my life, the more natural I am. The more natural I am, the healthier I am; and the healthier I am, the holier I am. All four words relate to each other. You will see this truth illustrated again and again throughout this course.

Encyclicals are one of the most authoritative forms of writing of the popes. They are letters of varying lengths that address a specific topic and are meant for wide circulation. All of the popes in the last 100 years have written important encyclicals. Pope Benedict XVI, in his first encyclical God is Love (Deus Caritas Est - 2005), discusses two types of love described by the ancient Greeks. “Eros” is the type of love related to a couples’ erotic (sexual) desire for each other and “agape” refers to the type of love we usually attribute to God—pure,

(44)

selfless love. He makes the extraordinary point that, although eros has been criticized throughout history, Christianity teaches that in its proper place it is mutually complementary to agape and that indeed agape is less complete without the genuine expression of eros. He writes:

5. . . . the contemporary way of exalting the body is deceptive.

Eros, reduced to pure “sex”, has become a commodity, a mere

“thing” to be bought and sold, or rather, man himself becomes a commodity. This is hardly man's great “yes” to the body. On the contrary, he now considers his body and his sexuality as the purely material part of himself, to be used and exploited at will. Nor does he see it as an arena for the exercise of his freedom, but as a mere object that he attempts, as he pleases, to make both enjoyable and harmless. Here we are actually dealing with a debasement of the human body: no longer is it integrated into our overall existential freedom; no longer is it a vital expression of our whole being, but it is more or less relegated to the purely biological sphere. The apparent exaltation of the body can quickly turn into a hatred of bodiliness. Christian faith, on the other hand, has always considered man a unity in duality, a reality in which spirit and matter (or body) compenetrate (permeate each other), and in which each is brought to a new nobility. True eros tends to rise “in ecstasy” towards the Divine, to lead us beyond ourselves; yet for this very reason it calls for a path of ascent, renunciation, purification and healing.

Our Holy Father continues to write about how often it has been the case that cultures have mistakenly separated these two kinds of love, even to the point of positioning them in conflict with each other.

7. Yet eros and agape . . . can never be completely separated. The more the two, in their different aspects, find a proper unity in the one reality of love, the more the true nature of love in general is realized. Even if eros is at first mainly covetous and ascending, a fascination for the great promise of happiness, in drawing near to the other, it is less and less concerned with itself, increasingly seeks the happiness of the other, is concerned more and more with the beloved, bestows itself and wants to “be there for” the other.

(45)

The element of agape thus enters into this love, for otherwise eros is impoverished and even loses its own nature.

Later in the document he writes:

11. From the standpoint of creation, eros directs man towards marriage, to a bond which is unique and definitive; thus, and only thus, does it fulfill its deepest purpose. Corresponding to the image of a monotheistic God is monogamous marriage. Marriage based on exclusive and definitive love becomes the icon of the relationship between God and his people and vice versa. God's way of loving becomes the measure of human love. This close connection between eros and marriage in the Bible has practically no equivalent in extra-biblical literature.

This lesson will never end if I keep quoting wonderful passages from the Bible and the Church, but no Catholic course on sexuality would be complete without mention of Pope John Paul II’s Theology

of the Body. (“Theology” is the study of God and religion.) From

1979 to 1984 the Holy Father gave 129 short talks on human sexuality for his Wednesday papal audiences. This group of talks is collectively known as the Theology of the Body and has been published in book form, the text of which runs over 400 pages. Theologian George Weigel has called it “a theological time-bomb set to go off with dramatic consequences . . . perhaps in the 21st_{century.” The Theology}

of the Body is education on the graduate university level. It is not an

easy read. While I generally strongly encourage all students and parents to read original Church documents in their entirety whenever possible, this is one of the rare cases when, for most people, it is more practical to study one small section of the document at a time, to study it with a group (study groups for the Theology of the Body are forming in many parishes) or to read explanations of the document as a whole. For the sake of brevity I will not include quotes from this tremendous document here but will just include some of main points from this teaching in the summary below.

Selected Summary of Catholic Church Teaching on Sexuality:

• Man and woman were created for each other. They are a wonderful, natural complement to each other on a physical,

(46)

emotional and spiritual level. So perfect is the match that married couples should be considered “one flesh.”

• Through sexual relations, a married couple cooperates in the love of God the Creator and freely offers a gift of love to each other.

• Each sexual act between spouses renews the marriage covenant. Through each act a married couple symbolically says “I do” to God and to each other with their bodies.*

• The love of the married couple for each other, as expressed in sexual intercourse, is a reflection of the love of Jesus Christ for his Church.

• Sexual (erotic) love in its pure form, as meant by our Creator, permeates and even elevates pure agape love.

• Because matrimony (the joining of a man and woman through marriage) is a sacrament, through marriage spouses and their children receive sacramental graces.

• Marriage is the normal calling of this life. Celibacy (committing to never having sex) for the sake of the kingdom of God is an “exceptional” or special calling, which only relatively few receive (as priests and religious).

• “Children are the supreme gift of marriage,” “its crowning glory.” Large families are “a sign of God’s blessings and the parents’ generosity.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church: 1652, 2373)

• Whether married or not, by living sexually pure lives we give a gift of love to God and to others, and in so doing we receive a thousandfold.

• Lust is disordered sexual desire. It can be managed through the practice of virtue, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and by sitting at the foot of the Cross of Redemption—by accepting, really accepting, Jesus Christ as the only Way, the only Truth and the only Life.

• All of us sin. No one is perfectly sexually pure. Under-standing the difference between lust and love and how to

*_{See Catholic theologian John Kippley’s superb book, Sex and the Marriage Covenant}

(47)

order our sexual drive can be a lifelong challenge, especially during early adolescence when we first start to grapple with the question: “Do I love him (or her) or am I just physically attracted to him (or her)?” Due to original sin, the way we view the opposite sex can easily be distorted and perverted. Gaining insight and achieving success in this process requires determination and patience. However, the redemptive power of the cross is limitless. Through Confession (the Sacrament of Reconciliation), God’s mercy extends to anyone who sincerely seeks sexual purity.

• Chastity refers to the most satisfactory, most admirable, sexual state. Chaste people, whether married or not, are those who successfully balance their sexual nature with the other aspects of their person. The struggle to be chaste, or sexually pure, always involves an element of suffering, just as does the struggle to be pure in any other part of our lives. However, to fail to live by God’s plan, to fail to live as we are meant to live, always, ultimately, involves suffering on a higher level. There is no easy route in life for anyone, but as Christians devoted to following the will of God we know that we have God Himself on our side, along with the Virgin Mary and the other saints. They are always present for us—inviting each of us to achieve, with their help, moment to moment, the deepest sense of happiness, peace and meaning.

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us;

and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

(48)

Lesson 2

Sex without Love

¾ Say a prayer before the lesson.

Now that we have seen the Catholic view of sexuality let’s look at the extreme opposite view which, sadly, has a large following in today’s world.

Falsehood: Sex without love is healthy, normal or natural.

Healthy sex emphasizes true love over all other priorities. Because priorities often conflict they must be ordered. One must be valued over another. When priorities, such as freedom or pleasure, are

Note: The book Sexual Wisdom: A Guide for Parents,

Young Adults, Educators and Physicians, upon which this

course is based, includes 17 misconceptions, referred to here as “falsehoods.” To simplify, this course lists only 12 of the 17 falsehoods, but the other five are referred to within the course content.

Sexual Wisdom 4 Catholics Rev.15

Richard Wetzel, MD

SEXUAL WISDOM

Table of Contents

In loving memory of my mother,

Mrs. Sheila Rose Wetzel.

May she rest in peace under the

mantel of Our Lady of Guadalupe and

next to the Sacred Heart of Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Acknowledgments

Publisher’s Pledge

AMDG

Introduction to Parents

Lesson 1

The Biology of Human Sexuality

C

•

Lesson 2

Sex without Love