Masculine
The enclosed Masculine Intelligence Program comes with an Audio Program, this transcript of it. You are also invited to take advantage of the entirely free
Advanced Masculine Intelligence that comes along with every Men’s Psychology On Demand Membership.
It is intended to get you started on a complete understanding of the invisible
world of psychology from a purely masculine perspective addressing aspects of yo ur relations with women, your progress on a mission in life at work,
and the experience, pride and accomplishment of being a man in general. This is Dr. Paul for http://www.menspsychology.com and Men's
Psychology magazine and welcome to Masculine Intelligence, a special program that I am putting on for you today.
Thanks for being here. We are going to do a question and answer section in here, but we're going to focus down on: what do we mean by masculine intelligence, and why do we provide the science of being a man at www.menspsychology.com? MEN’S TECHNOLOGY This book is an introduction to the fundamentals of Men’s Psychology’s major systems and programs for men. It’s taken over 15 years of practice, research and education. Enjoy!
We will be using strategies and tactics from: • MindOS Mastery
• Mature Masculine Power • KWML Mastery
• The Omega Male Program
• Masculine Intelligence in Personal Boundaries
• The Depresculinity Program
Foreword
We are going to be covering all of the general areas of a man's life and we're going to be applying this idea of masculine
Chapter 1
“The Science of
Being a Man”
You were born with this power, because you are
male, but it will take a lifetime for you to fully
discover its depth and breadth, and just as in any
technology, its uses and misuses.
You will most sharpen, cultivate and master these
instincts in two arenas - that of women and work..
What is the science of being a man?
Why do we describe ourselves as helping you with that specifically: the science of being a man?
To a lot of people, the word science implies something scary or difficult to understand.
Maybe something we didn't do so well at in school. I mean it in a lighter-hearted way than all of that. Although our science is very robust and can be very technical if you drill down deep enough into it. The idea behind the science – I'm reminded of its importance by a recent news story I saw. You know how there have been all of these controversial court rulings and criminal trials and things like this happening? I saw a show with the very eminent attorney Alan Dershowitz on it. He is this big legal theorist, the grandfather of modern law in America.
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YOUR LIFE
1. Depends on numerous things, but the most core thing is your level of masculinity and its expression
2. It is not the same as being a woman, even though women can do any job men do, are just as intelligent, and have just as much emotion and identity
3. There are cultural forces that would have you believe that being a man is no different or unique than being a woman
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The host of the show was commenting on what he felt was an atrocious court ruling in a criminal case, where the person got off even though everyone thought that they were guilty. He said, "This is a travesty. How does American law work if it doesn't find truth and justice? Isn't that what law is about?" Alan Dershowitz said, "Well, no, law is not about truth and justice. Law is about sticking to the Constitution and administering laws and rules appropriately." He said, "If you want truth, go to a scientist. And if you want justice, go to a philosopher. Don't go to a lawyer." I thought that was really interesting and different that he chose those two words to describe truth and justice; a scientist and a philosopher, because that is a lot of what we provide at Men's Psychology Magazine. There is a lot to what we do that has roots in that “scary” word: philosophy. And it turns out philosophy as a field of study is really what immediately pre-dates the rise of psychology as a field. Philosophy is, very broadly speaking, thinking about the meaning of things and who are we as humans and why are we here, what are we meant to do, and how does the world work around us? It's thinking about thinking. That is what gave rise to psychology around Freud's time. We started using this word: psychology. So Men's Psychology certainly has built into it; the notion of philosophy as a valuable way of thinking. Trying to understand ourselves and the world around us in detail, in terms of what does it all mean? How does this all work? I want to understand. That's philosophy. There was a philosopher: Bertrand Russell, who once said that: "Philosophy is the no-man's land between science and religion." I think that is a pretty interesting quote in terms of philosophy or psychology being a kind of territory in between science and religion. Now when we talk about religion – I don't really talk about specific religions. I respect them, whatever one you come from, but there is certainly a spiritually sense to our psychology. 5
We are drawn to want answers and meaning in life and in who we are. What is our identity? Science offers something very unique. It offers us the ability to try to come up with what the common principles and laws are by which things work, and to be able to rely on them repeating into the future, to things still working the same way moving into the future. In that sense, at times, some of the materials you are going to learn in Men's Psychology can seem almost like magic so to speak. Obviously they aren't. There is no such thing as magic, but they seem magical for the reason that they can be predictive. If you can learn to decode what is going on in your dating, or your relationships with women, or in your career then you are going to have this predictive power to kind of know generally what's more likely to happen in the future. That's very powerful because you can make some solid choices that way, so that things go well for your life. That all comes down to what science offers. Everything that we talk about and teach at Men's Psychology has to do with this principle: that if there are laws by which things work and science is a part of that, then we can rely on it. This is not all opinion. When I teach men about, for example, dating or relationships, I'm not just drawing form my personal experience of having been on dates. I'm drawing from some very robust principles and material that comes from my profession.
I'm coming from a standpoint that is curious. I'm a curious person and if you're here, you probably have that trait as well. You wonder what makes things tick. You are a curious man. I am coming neither from a place of just opinion and being opinionated, nor am I coming from a place that is intellectually elitist, so to speak. Although, I talk about a lot of principles that are maybe new and different to guys that have not had formal training in science, the reason I had to develop all of this material was to help myself understand it. In my formal education – The words used in my field are really sophisticated words that I always felt did not offer a lot of practical value in everyday life, to the point where I had to translate them for me to even understand them. I'm very much a visual learner. Maybe you are too. I've never been as good with written materials and reading in
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A GUY LIKE YOU
1. A guy who had to learn about love from scratch, like you
2. A guy who started with nothing and built a career from scratch, like you
3. A guy who took that, and learned to help himself...
4. ...so that he could help you in the same way
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Who is “Dr. Paul?”
order to understand things. I have to draw pictures for myself to understand what's what. That's the beginnings of Men's Psychology. That's what I did for myself to understand psychology better, was to draw diagrams of how things work. I'm not coming from an intellectual, superior place at all in talking to you. I'm coming to you as a guy just like you who's curious and wants to learn and understand things thoroughly and maybe have some predictive power for the future ; knowing what to do to get things done successfully and happily. That is the value of science. The science of being a man would first have to recognize that men and women are equal but decidedly different. The place that they are different is in their instincts. In fact, this word masculinity and the word femininity I have found to be simply the unconscious instincts that are unique to men versus the unconscious instincts that are unique to women. Being different from each other does not make us unequal. It just makes us different; like an apple and an orange are both nutritious foods. They are the same in that way, but they are different. They taste different, they look different. And that's okay - they ARE different. But both are good for you. Men and women are different in this way, specifically in their instincts. How they interpret the world, how they communicate, and especially what makes them feel most alive or passionate, or even in romance makes them feel sexually attracted and attractive. That is where we are very different: men and women. The science of being a man would be specifically advocating for men and speaking men's language to them about psychology and how it works in a way that's going to be very powerful for you specifically as a man. The science of being a man is what we're all about.
Chapter 2
What is
Masculinity?
It’s not the same as Femininity.
It’s also not “self-esteem,” maturity, style, or
dictated by cultures or society.
It’s instinctual, a set of reflexes, and it’s your source
of passion for women and for life itself.
You will power ahead in life because of these
three...
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This program, Masculine Intelligence – let's take a look at that phrase. What do I mean by that? What do we mean by masculine intelligence? A lot of the time when you think of the word intelligence you may think of someone one-upping someone else in how smart they are. What I mean by the word intelligence is that you are awake, and aware, and curious, and inquisitive, and know what time it is. You have a sense of understanding the hows, whats and whys of psychology and how things work; whether it is dating and relationships, or its career, you are in intelligent in terms of knowing. You get it, you understand. Why "masculine" intelligence? You may have heard of the word intelligence being used
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UNCONSCIOUS VS CONSCIOUS
1. The unconscious mind is the same as the instincts - irrational, illogical, and yet still “masculine”
2. The conscious mind is where character, maturity, logic and rationality are working 3. The emotions are somewhere between the
two
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in a lot of sort of "markety"ways out there over the years. There was a thing called "emotional intelligence". There was a book and training programs by a psychologist with that name. What he was doing, basically, was trying to get people out of the sense of having an IQ and more into learning about emotions and how they work, and how to be more socially savvy. Really what it amounted to is a way of describing character. Character has everything to do with our maturity level. The notion of emotional intelligence was basically to get people thinking more about emotions and social connections to each other and the importance of social connections to bettering our lives through having a mature character.
We go to exhaustive lengths in the men’s training program called
MindOS Mastery to teach every detail of growing character maturity to men.
Well, Masculine Intelligence would go even deeper than that.
In fact, we even lay it out further in a second ebook for you, called
Advanced Masculine Intelligence, which comes free with subscribing to our Men’s Psychology On Demand Service.
In Masculine Intelligence, we say that that men are unique, that men have unique sets of instincts and reflexes, ways of seeing the world, very unique ways of solving problems quickly, unconsciously even; doing things without thinking a whole lot about them because of being male; this notion of instincts; and what are they, and how does that fit into psychology? Another way of looking at that is to say that if you went back to the very first model of Freud's where he said: "Well, there's a conscious mind and there's an unconscious mind." Really what he was talking about is instincts - behaviors that simply happen automatically without us having to think.
We go deep into what the differences are between men and
women in the instincts in the Mature Masculine Power Program - in fact, that program covers male instincts as if they are a giant tool kit for you to pull out the right instinct for the right situation in life - with women or work - and from there we also look at “male initiation, or going from “boy thinking” to “man thinking.”
If you are sleeping, you don't have to wake up and remind yourself to breath, or for your heart to beat. These are
autonomic, or automatic. They are reflexes of the body that are programmed to keep operating even without you being at the steering wheel. You don't have to make your own heart beat, or make yourself breath. It happens automatically. If we extend that idea of instincts into other areas of life like: dating, relationships, career, and general personal growth. Then we can understand them in a richer and more practical way than just thinking about the functions of the body. We can say, "Huh, just because I am male I will have a tendency to automatically react a certain way to certain situations in life." For example, in competition with other men I'm going to have this reaction that I don't even need to think about. Or in sexual attraction, in early dating I'm going to react and behave in certain situations without having to consciously think about it on purpose. It's because I'm male. It's because I have masculinity that I react these certain ways without having to think. And it is decidedly different from how women react to the So as a result, the idea of masculine intelligence recognizes that we have these two parts to the mind. We have an intellect, we have a conscious part of the mind that we do steer and do control and through which we do understand things logically; but there is this other part of the mind too, that is uniquely masculine and is unconscious, that is run by reflexes and instincts. If we learn to understand those primitive instincts that make us uniquely male and bring it all together, that we'll be at the steering wheel of all of our behavior.
Have you ever had one of those experiences where you just shot your mouth off and said something inappropriate or discourteous or you offended a girlfriend, or you put off a friend and then you kind of slap yourself on the forehead and say: "Oh, what was I thinking? Why did I say that? I didn't need to say that. But why did I do that thing I just did?" It doesn't make any logical sense.
Well, it makes perfect sense to us at Men's Psychology because it was instinctive. You did it out of masculine instinct that you weren't awake and aware to at the time. And it may not have resulted in the best results for your life, or been the most socially appropriate, but it was perfectly masculine that you did that thing you did or said that thing you said. Instead of letting our instincts run our lives, if we could learn a little more about how they work and why, we could be more at the steering wheel of them, even though they aren't based in logic.
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EXPLAINING THE UNEXPLAINABLE 1. When “things don’t make sense” or are
“nonsense” or dramatic, it’s instincts at work
2. Men’s and Women’s Instincts are reflexes, not based in logic...
3. Which is why “attraction is not a choice” - because it is an irrational, illogical instinct 4. When things go wrong or don’t make
sense, it’s time to learn the deep roots of how the instincts work
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When Things Don’t Make Sense
There's a friend of mine that is really, really good at marketing. He is not a science expert, but he likes talking to men, and he likes describing to them that – "Attraction is not a choice" is one of the things he says; it’s one of his little slogans. "Attraction is not a choice." What that really means – he's talking about sexual attraction not love or partnership, not other areas of romance, but just sexual attraction not being a choice. What he is saying is: "Sexual attraction is an instinct." Instincts aren't choices, they are automatic. They're reflexes, and on top of all that, they are not logical. They are not based in logic and common sense. The reason why, is that our instincts evolved. They came out of the process of human evolution and as a result, the environment that we had to live in as primitive people was a threat on our lives we had to adapt to it, and change with it - get more and more automatic with how we respond to threats so that we could stay alive as a species. That is a basic principle of evolution. And so one of the things we draw on at Men's Psychology is Evolutionary Psychology. I had said at the outset: "Who am I and what is it that I've created here?" I'm closest to what you would call a "unification theorist". That means somebody who takes psychology models and combines them in a way that retains scientifically robust credence. I combine models together to make new, more simple, and easier to understand models of psychology. One of the things that I then do is learning about these various fields of psychology. Evolutionary Psychology is one of the newest out there to learn about. It addresses some of the more primitive, animal behavior aspects to us. So back to "attraction is not a choice"; that's simply saying that sexual attraction is an instinct and instincts aren't logic based. When women do what they do in dating, we may roll our eyes or complain, but the reason they do what they do is because they are feminine and they have a set of feminine instincts that are very different from ours.
And then we complain about it because we are not feminine. We don't speak that language. We weren't trained to. Masculine Intelligence is then the same goal that psychoanalysis has, which is to get people to look at their unconscious drives and instincts that are so crazy and illogical, and get more behind the steering wheel of them; which is the same thing as growing up. It's the same thing as finding maturity: Where you get more and more control and understanding of your own impulses and instincts and you steer them toward building your life constructively; building something better for yourself rather than just being caught unawares with your instincts running the show. You can see a lot of this "acting out" behavior, this normal masculine instinct out in public, like in the politicians' lives when they have scandals and things like that. They are “acting out.” It's perfectly normal, natural and masculine for them to do what they do, but if they do it at the wrong time in socially inappropriate ways, that's what creates the scandal. If they had more masculine intelligence, then they would accept that being male and being masculine is good, but using masculinity as a set of tools or little working parts of your instincts; using them in the right ways at the right times to solve the right problems is going to be a more successful way to go. One of the ways we can go about this is to describe to you one of the most useful models that we use. As curious guys trying to learn about psychology, life and people, comes from the evolutionary psychologist and to them when this first came out it seems a little too simplistic and got shot down and pooh-poohed by the academic world. Yet, revisiting this, I found it to be really very helpful and practical and useful.
To understand the conscious, logical mind in extreme detail, we have the MindOS Mastery Program.
And to understand the unconscious, irrational (but clearly
instinctual) mind, we have the Mature Masculine Power Program.
Chapter 3
“Three Brains” of
Being a Man
There are three areas of the mind that you need to
be concerned with as a man - whether in
addressing your relations with women, or at work,
these three will keep you sharp in your instincts,
energized in your emotions and self-esteem, and
wise and successful in your intellectual life.
You will power ahead in life because of these
three...
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It's the Triune Brain Model: the idea of there being a part – a division in the mind into three parts that they called the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and higher brain is very useful. One of the ways that we look at, a lot of times, love and romance is to see it all as one big mish-mash of stuff, and rarely do we divide it into these three parts. But if we did, we could perfectly understand our dating, our relationships, and our careers. The “Reptilian Brain: The first part, the reptilian brain, really is the same as Freud's sense of what he called the unconscious. It's our instincts, drive, reflexes, things that happen with us on autopilot. That's the reptilian brain. And in that area, men and women are most different. They're decidedly different. Masculinity is a set of reflexes and instincts that make you male. And femininity is a set of reflexes and instincts that make women, women. The reptilian brain addresses all the things that have to do with what both Freud and Darwin
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THE REPTILIAN BRAIN
The “Reptilian Brain” - center of the instincts and masculinity, the unconscious and
“passion”
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The Reptilian Brain
talked about; surviving and reproducing. They both said in their own way that those two functions in us are really the prime, core drivers of all of our behavior. There is this force in us that is always trying to keep us alive, get us to survive, or to feel more alive, to feel more vital in other words; a second force in us that is driven toward sex and reproducing; toward finding a woman attractive and wanting to be attractive to them. These are in the reptilian brain. So this area of the mind, called the reptilian brain, it's where we have these two forces at work. We want to survive and we want to reproduce. It is responsible for everything we do that we slap ourselves in the head over - or have regrets. "Why did I do that? Why did I say that?" It's all driven by this reptilian brain area of us.
The second area is the mammalian brain. That's really just the center of emotions, and emotions are different from instincts. Instincts cause us to automatically, physically do things; to do physical behaviors. Emotions are more of a subjective feeling in us and the mammalian brain is the center of them. Why is it called the mammalian brain to the evolutionary psychologist? It's because mammals are high enough animals that they have evolved to develop emotions. The reason mammals have emotions is because somewhere along the line in the evolutionary tree animals figures out that there is power in numbers; that if they hunt as a herd, that is going to get more food and nutrition than just hunting alone; and that if they associate with each other as a herd, it's more protective against predators, for example. Again, evolutionarily, it's all "we have to survive as a species."
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THE MAMMALIAN BRAIN
Mammalian Emotions - Responsible for Emotional Attraction with a woman.
Responsible for “charisma” in social circles and the workplace
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The Mammalian Brain
Mammals came along and they grew organically as they evolved – these species figured it out that the way to cause association and connection working as a team or as a unit by separate creatures is through emotional bonding; which today we could simply call "friendship", and which is the same thing as love. You can love a woman romantically, and that implies that you don't just love her, you also have desire for her. But you can also love a friend and not have the desire part. You could love a family member. In fact, you can even truly love and have friendship with your pets. Your dog or your cat that is your pet is a mammal just like you, and mammals have emotions. And simply because of emotions, that's how we can define friendship or love. It's simply an exchange of emotion. That's how mammals figured out how to work as a group or as a team, even though they have separate bodies. It's their emotional bond. And with your pets, the thing that causes us to not think of pets as actual friends is because there is no language, obviously. Yet, language and words are not needed to have friendship or love. It's simply an exchange of emotion. You can tell when your dog is sad or depressed. In fact, today they even prescribe Prozac to dogs and cats that are depressed. So clearly, dogs and cats have emotions. They're mammals. That's the mammalian brain.
The last part of the brain evolutionary psychologists call the higher brain. The higher brain is what makes us more sophisticated than other animals. It houses our intellectual ability and especially is houses our ability to think abstractly and to have an imagination; and therefore to predict the future; to take a guess at what is likely to happen in the future. This is something that lower animals don't have to the degree that we do, which is why evolutionists call it the higher brain. This is the area you would call the conscious mind, and the area in which we are self-aware and where we have logic ability. You would also say that it is the center of maturity. We can't really call animals mature or immature, but we can call other human beings mature or immature. That's because of the higher brain.
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THE HIGHER (HUMAN) BRAIN
Higher-Brained Maturity - Character and
Intellect - responsible for all partnerships and commitments, as well as overall success with women and work.
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The Higher Brain
These three areas of the mind: the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and the higher brain, make up three general areas of our mind and how it functions.
We cover all you could want to know about these three brains in the area of dating, relationships and romance in the Omega Male Program at www.menspsychology.com.
Chapter 4
Two Areas of Life
to Master as a
Man
There are three areas of life that you need to be
concerned with as a man - addressing your
relations with women, your progress at work, and
therefore being a man in general.
You will power ahead in life because of these
three...
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If you go to www.menspsychology.com, what you will end up seeing is that now that we have embarked on being journalistic with what we do, we have a button there called "features" and that's feature articles. You will see three areas of life, three important areas of life that tend to give us the most challenges. Those are women, work and being a man. But over under "programs" if you see these same categories: · Skills with women · Skills in career, and... · Skills at being a man... ...and then finally one to wrap them all together: • skills at growth and evolution.
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THREE KINDS OF CONNECTION TO WOMEN
1. The “Reptilian Brain” - center of Sexual Attraction, masculinity, femininity and “passion”
2. The “Mammalian Brain” - center of
Emotional Attraction, friendship, love, and “value”
3. The “Higher Brain” - center of Intellectual Attraction, wisdom, decisions, logic,
boundaries, rights, self-awareness, and partnership in commitment
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These are the major areas of challenge in a man's life, and the major areas of growth: women, career and being a man. What we do with our programs then is we address those major areas of life for men using a different course or program that comes from each of these three areas of the mind: the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and the higher brain.
Our prime course that addresses these three “types of attraction” with a woman is called the Omega Male Program on Video
Streaming, CD/DVD or live seminars in some of the world’s major cities.
MATURE MASCULINE POWER:
So our course that addresses, “What is masculinity?” - what are the instincts, what is there to be learned about them, what are all the variations of them, when and how do I use them in life? That's in the Mature Masculine Power Program. When we're thinking about the mammalian brain, the emotions - what is friendship, what is love, what are emotions and how do they work, and what are they useful for? That has everything to do with personality style. What makes us different from each other, not just different from women, has a lot to do with our personality style.
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THE WORK BRAIN
1. Mature Masculine Power - the instincts of work
2. KWML - teambuilding and personality styles at work
3. MindOS Mastery - politics and diplomacy at work
4. The Men’s Psychology On Demand
Program - getting guidance and mentoring about work (and women as well as
personal growth too!)
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KWML MASTERY: The program we have that addresses that is called KWML Mastery. KWML Mastery means that there are four kinds of personality. There are Kings (or Queens if we're talking about a woman), Warriors, Magicians and Lovers. These are the four general personality styles that we talk about. Each one of them expresses itself differently and emotionally. If you wanted to learn about love, friendship, compatibility in terms of personality style, and therefore communication, likes and dislikes, likely future behaviors, things that people prefer; then it would serve you well to learn a lot about personality styles.
That's why the KWML Mastery Course talks about personality style. That's the mammalian brain. The higher brain is everything intellectual and your conscious mind and how it works. It has a lot of working parts too. You have something called boundaries, you have decision making, you have ethics or conscience, and intuition or shrewdness that guide your decisions. You have two kinds of learning that you do, that you could call left-brained and right-brained, or education versus experience. There are two kinds of self-esteem in you: well-being and confidence. MINDOS MASTERY: All of these are addressed in the MindOS Mastery Program. Why do I call it MindOS? It's because, just like the evolutionary psychologists, I view the brain as being something physical. It's an organ of thinking and behavior, but it's like computer hardware. The mind is different from the brain, and yet related to it in the same way that software can run on computer hardware. Your brain is like hardware and your mind is like software. When we talk about software in the computer world, sometimes we use this phrase: operating system. That means the software that houses, contains and channels all the workings of any other kind of software. That's an operating system. MindOS means: the operating system of the human mind. 27
That's what you learn about in MindOS Mastery. It's your conscious mind. It's everything to do with boundaries, decisions, self-esteem and your ideas and your intellect; how all of that works together to compose what we could call your character, or your maturity. Character is a different thing from personality. Character is maturity. Personality is just a style of expressing your identity. Your level of maturity is different from your general style of personality. MindOS addresses character and maturity; the conscious mind, the higher brain that the evolutionary psychologists talk about. KWML is all about your emotional life, the emotional part of your mind, or the mammalian brain. Then finally, your core primitive instincts called masculinity is addressed by Mature Masculine Power. What we could do is go through these general areas of life, as a man: women, career, and being a man in general, general personal growth, and address each of those three concerns that men have with some masculine intelligence; which is the ability to understand life as a man instinctually as different from how women understand life, and how they behave. In so doing, we can understand women better, understand how we are different. We use this same method of doing teleseminars every week, by the way. Those are available to you if you are member of Men's Psychology "On Demand", which you can find on the site under men's resources – the On Demand membership. We field questions live, or if you can't attend the calls, you can shoot those questions in anyway and we will answer them on audio. The whole thing gets recorded as a download for you.
Chapter 5
Why Men
Compete
There is no avoiding conflict and competition in the
life of a man.
Make it better for yourself by getting real skills, and
learning why men compete the way they do.
You too, can become a “fierce competitor”...
QUESTION: Yeah, Dr. Paul. Why do men compete with each other? Dr. Paul: Well, we can look at that on each of these three levels: the reptilian brain level, the mammalian brain level (for personality differences), and then the higher brain level (maturity differences). Leaving those later two alone for now, let's go with just primitive instincts that we call masculinity. Why do we compete with each other, how do we compete with each other and how is that different from the way women compete with themselves and each other? It's always useful to do a little mental experiment; going back in time by eons, many hundreds of thousands of years and ask yourself: "What were humans doing to try to survive? What were men doing differently from women?" It had a lot to do with their societal roles – came out of body size and muscularity. Today we have computers and we have all the technology that made the sexes exactly equal in
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DON’T TAKE IT THAT WAY
1. Men compete to know what their ranks are 2. Men compete to know what their roles are 3. Men compete to learn whether they can
trust their lives with you on the same team
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what they are able to do in career, but in ancient times our bodies actually matters, as far as roles in society. Men would take roles in mainly killing. We would kill animals for food, we'd hunt, and we'd wage war and get defense against other tribes that would try to take our food or our women. We had to kill. We naturally took to those roles because of larger body size and muscularity. Women would take roles in organizing, protecting, and conserving the grain through the winter, for example. They would know how much there is and how long it will last; child rearing and child care while the men were out killing. It's not a "sexist" thing, it's common sense and it's biology that because of our body differences and muscularity differences we just evolved into these two roles. Masculine instinct would go along with that. The role doesn't make the instinct. The instinct leads to the role. We can get more into that some other time. As far as competition, what would happen is: if you could imagine a group of men out on a hunt and they didn't know anything about each other when they were forming this hunting team, what was crucial to figure out? It was crucial to figure out a sense of rank and skill level and a hierarchy among them. Why? Because if they didn't, just like in today's military, you have various ranks because you instantly know who needs to be leading whom and doing what, to be a most efficient team when it's life or death stakes. We're either going to starve or we're not, if we have a good hunt. That's how we compete. We compete by trying to one-up each other in rank. We need to do that, it's built into our instincts because if we don't, at some point in times' past, we could die for not doing that. Now when women compete, it's more about a sense of: do I belong or not, or do we shun this one particular woman or not? It's not as much about: what is my rank? Am I number one, two or three? We men are very rank-based and that's why we have to compete. Now, if you want to get into, some other time perhaps on a teleseminar, the idea of: what is fighting dirty versus competing like a gentleman? What is gentlemanly competition versus brutal, no holds barred competition? That has to do with ones' maturity level too. Ideally, if we compete like gentlemen we both get to 31
grow, even though one person will be called the victor, one person will be called the winner and the other guy won't. We both learn from it.
QUESTION: The interesting thing about that suggestion is, let's say you were a gentleman and you tried to compete as a gentleman, but you're competing against somebody that is playing dirty. Would you say that you are at a disadvantage? Dr. Paul: You would say the rules are different than if you were competing with another gentleman. You would never be at a disadvantage if you have this thing we're generally talking about called: masculine intelligence. It simply means you “know what time it is.” You know what is going on psychologically; you can read the scenario for these three areas of the mind. If you are a good guy who wants to compete like a gentleman but you're dealing with someone who fights dirty, then what you automatically know through checking out the boundaries in the situation is that you have good solid mature boundaries and that other guy doesn't. He is less mature than you, which means that he's not going to play by the rules, which means you are going to have to contain him or remove yourself from the picture - eject from the
competition -Section 2 -
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DOUCHEBAGS AND TOOLS 1. Watch out for these guys
2. Learn how “playing dirty” is a brief advantage
3. Learn how competing “like a gentleman” is never forgotten
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Men Who Play Dirty
because he is just going to cause a whole lot of damage, including potentially to himself. The approach at it doesn't mean it's a no-win situation for you, it just means you're going to have to take a role almost as a parent. Like if you had a son and you were wrestling with your son and he was getting a little extreme and he picked up a knife or a hammer or something, you'd say: "Okay, whoa whoa whoa, no no, you're not going to do that. You put that down." You would get the danger out of his hands. You would have to take that some kind of containment role over this guy who fights dirty. In other words, don't fight him unless you can completely “shock and awe” him; overwhelm him, because he won't play fair. You have to have total dominance over him in the way that a parent can completely control a child. Or get out of there, eject.
Chapter 6
Why Learn Men’s
Psychology?
Men’s minds work differently from a woman’s. We
are equal yet different, and have an entirely different
set of instincts - and this is the major difference
between men and women - the reflexes and
instincts that we call Masculinity are very different
from those of Femininity.
You will power ahead in life because of these
differences...
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WHY LEARN “MEN’S PSYCHOLOGY?” Let's take a quick look at these general areas. I want you to understand how the programs work and why we've designed it this way for you. Really what we're doing at menspsychology.com is that we are a combination of resources for men that are educational - with journalism from a man point of view - something that you really don't see in any one place out there. Even the major men's magazines and major men's websites are so large that they are at least partially, if not three- quarters staffed with women who have feminine instincts and see the world a certain way, and communicate with certain feminine instincts. It, let's say, contaminates the advocacy of men in “only a man's voice.” What we're trying to do is preserve that both in our journalism as well as in what we teach, not in a way where it is men versus women, but in a way where it just simply honors that men think this certain way...
Section 1 -
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THREE DIFFERENCES
1. The “Reptilian Brain” - this is where
Masculinity and Femininity reside, and what makes us most different
2. The “Mammalian Brain” - center of the emotions, where men and women are of four types - King or Queen, Warrior, Magician or Lover
3. The “Higher Brain” - center of the intellect, where men and women are quite equal in maturity, intelligence and personal growth CLICK FOR DEEPER INSTRUCTION
...and they need certain things to feel good as men, in man language. That's what we're going overall. That's the big picture. Tunneling down to these three items: · Features - which are feature articles on women or career or being a man in general, and... · Programs - our educational courses, once again, skills with women, skills in career and skills in being a man. And then finally wrap them all together with... · Skills in growth and evolution as a man. What we do here is we combine these three general concerns: women, work and being a man ... ...with the three areas of the mind that there are to learn about: the reptilian, the mammalian brain and the higher brain. If you were to click on "skills with women" under “programs,” you would see several different courses, the first of which is “The Omega Male Program:
Total Mastery of Sexual Attraction and Dating.” THE OMEGA MALE PROGRAM: That's the Omega Male Program and what it does, is it takes these three areas of the mind: reptilian brain, mammalian brain and higher brain and it envisions a courtship process between a man and a woman as marching through those same three areas of the mind. Reptilian brain means “sexual attraction.” It's the first thing that's got to happen with a woman. If you don't get sexual attraction with a woman right away, there are going to problems progressing any further at all. You are not going to make a girlfriend out of her; you're not going to marry her. There's got to be sexual attraction first. How many guys screw THAT up? They think a woman they have befriended might “come around” or “see the light,” or somehow realize “what a great guy” he is. Wrong. It’s too late. You are friends, and a man who is friends with a woman, in which there is no sexual attraction - I’m sorry, it is just not going to happen, EVER. You must START with SEXUAL ATTRACTION for it to EVER be present later. 37
THE KWML MASTERY PROGRAM: Second, there's got to be the mammalian brained idea of friendship, love and emotional compatibility. That's the KWML Mastery Course - how that tunnels down into that specific area. In the Omega Male Program it combines really all of the programs to address women and romance. Sexual attraction, followed by friendship or love, which is the same as emotional attraction, and then the third phase of human courtship is partnership and commitment. Usually the area that men are least interested in learning about, but it's still there. If you are married or want to someday be married, you've got to learn about that area: commitment or partnership (intellectual attraction.) That's what I mean by "total mastery of sexual attraction and dating". That's the Omega Male Program.
Chapter 7
Sex, and “Being a
Man” Around
Women
What women say they want in a man on the surface
is a very different thing from what they desire and
respond to sexually, in dating and relationships.
This is because the reptilian brain of both men and
women is instinctual and unconscious - it is a set of
reflexes that are triggered...
SEX AND BEING A MAN AROUND WOMEN: Underneath that you see Sex and "Being a Man" Around Women. What that's doing is tunneling down deep into just the first phase of human courtship, which is just sexual attraction. That has everything to do with how masculine are you and how feminine she is. Ultimately, if you want to have a sexual attraction and connection with a woman, the higher your masculinity in general, the more attractive you will be to her. The higher her femininity in general, the more attractive she'll be to you. That's even regardless of her precise looks. Have you ever been just sexually really desiring a woman that maybe some of your buddies said was not that attractive to them, but she was to you?
Section 1 -
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THREE POWERS
1. The “Reptilian Brain” - center of the
instincts and masculinity, the unconscious and “passion”
2. The “Mammalian Brain” - center of the emotions, happiness, friendship, love, teamwork, and “value”
3. The “Higher Brain” - center of the intellect, wisdom, decisions, logic, boundaries,
rights, self-awareness, and partnership in commitment
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It's because it's not just about looks, although that's the biggest drive of men being attracted to women. It's also about their femininity, how they conduct themselves, how they treat you, how they behave, how they move. That all really gets your blood boiling for them sexually. Sex and "Being a Man" Around Women is then addressing the primitive ways of conducting yourself with women that with a public spotlight on it might seem undiplomatic, or politically incorrect and this sort of thing; but we all know is nonetheless attractive to women. What women complain about publicly about men is very different from how they might respond to you in private. They might complain to their mom about what a jerk you are, but then secretly, privately they want you desperately. They want to come over to your place and feel sexual toward you. That has everything to do with your level of masculinity. The program that we address that with beyond the Omega Male Program to tunnel down deep is the Mature Masculine Power Program. It's learning about all these little circuits that compose the thing that we call your masculinity. Underneath that is “How to Choose and Keep a Girlfriend.” Now isn't that a different thing from just getting sexual attraction going in the first place? The notion of a girlfriend means you are going to date exclusively. You're not going to see other people at the same time in most cases; for that to work out for you you've got to have more than just sexual attraction going on. You've got to a match of personality styles or you are not going to get along well. You're not going to be able to keep a commitment going because you just don't make good partners, even in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. The KWML Mastery Program addresses that by describing people as having four different kinds of
personality style.
PERSONALITY • A King or a Queen is a nurturing, kind, yet wise and thoughtful analytical person. • A Warrior is an analytical, targeted, exact logic-based person who is hard-driving and outgoing. They are action- taking. • A Magician is more on the creative side of thinking, less analytical, more humorous, fun, adventurous, big thinker, but also action oriented. It's a world traveler, an adventurer, the life of the party, the master of ceremonies - that's a magician. • A Lover is a more kind, nurturing, soft, but also artistic, creative person. It turns out that in these four personality styles, which have nothing to do with gender, have nothing to do with being a man or a woman - they are just personality styles.
Section 2 -
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THE FOUR TYPES
1. Kings and Queens - logical, organized, and nurturing
2. Warriors - logical, organized, and outgoing, action-oriented
3. Magician - creative, spontaneous, outgoing and action-oriented, performers
4. Lovers - creative, spontaneous, shy, passive, nurturers
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If you find someone who is your opposite in personality style, you make a perfect team for dealing with things that happen in life. If you are, say, a King male then you need a Magician female to round yourself out. The great thing about it is as romantic partners, girlfriend-boyfriend, you make such a robust team together because anything that comes at you life someone is gifted at handling. If it's not you, then it's her. If it's not her, then it's you. Even better than that, since you originally asked about competition, when we pair up with someone, male or female – It it's just a male buddy and you're calling it a friendship, or if it is a woman and you're calling it a romance, if the person is your opposite there's minimal threat of competing with each other because you are good at “your thing.” The gifts of your personality style in terms of talents and abilities that are “natural-born.” As a King, you're good at being studious and being an expert and giving advice, and your opposite, the Magician, has their thing. They are good at public performance. They are good at cracking a joke. They're good at singing in public. They are good at going out and solving problems on the fly. That's not your thing. If they're your partner or they're your friend, you don't feel threatened by that because they're your friend, or they're your partner. They are good at things you're not. You're good at things they're not. So opposites attract in friendship and what we would call, Love. Love is a different thing from desire, from sexual desire. They are entirely different. Just that distinction right there can be completely enlightening to a guy who's trying to navigate the dating world, to understand that if a woman desires you sexually, she might not at all love you in terms of your personality matching. Or she may love you and mean it when she says: "I consider you a friend." That might mean she "loves" you, but she just doesn't sexually desire you. She is not lying. She's telling the truth. It's because there are these three areas of the mind, not just one. You would immediately know then that you've got to ramp up your sexual attraction skills as opposed to your emotional skill. 43
Choosing a girlfriend has everything to do with KWML Mastery, personality styles. Lastly, there's How to Manage a Committed Relationship. That's beyond boyfriend-girlfriend. That is long-term partnership. You guys better have a match of maturity level and good boundaries or it will not work out. Someone will cheat on someone or you just find you can't partner up and solve problems well together. It just doesn't work. That is MindOS Mastery that you address that with. Using these four courses: · Mature Masculine Power to learn about masculine instinct · KWML to learn about personality styles · MindOS to learn about maturity and boundaries, and... · The Omega Male Program which wraps it all together... ...you master every possible area of dealing with women, whether it's relating to a girlfriend or having a better dating life or communicating with women in the workplace, these four programs help you completely understand and master everything you ever wanted in the world of women.
Chapter 8
Career Excellence
Men vest a great deal of personal identity in their
career progress, and this is not a voluntary choice.
It’s instinctual.
As a result, your career progress gives you passion
for life, a feeling of more masculinity, identity and
attractiveness to women for this very reason. You
will excel in career first, to excel with women...
CAREER ISSUES:
The next area is career. Now, why do we have these three
areas: women, work and being a man, especially “women and work?” Why are they so important?
There is a thing we talk about in the Mature Masculine Power Program called the “Equation of Masculinity.” If there were a way that I wanted to try to subjectively quantify "what is masculinity?" in a way that you could sort of sense or measure or analyze. What I came up with is, “If masculinity is a set of reflexes or instincts and if instincts according to both Freud and Darwin are for the purpose of causing us to being able to survive and to reproduce, then it would make sense that there would be a survival variable in the equation of masculinity and a reproductive variable in the equation.”
Section 1 -
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GET A MISSION, NOT A JOB
1. Your “mission in life” is more than a job or even a career...
2. It is a source of identity and masculinity... 3. ...which powers your very passion for life
itself, and attracts women, friends, and opportunity
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The reproductive variable is your skill with women and the survival variable for men, specifically men, happens to have everything to do with your career.
How is your career going? What I mean by that is have you ever lost a job and it was kind of a sucky job; you really didn't like it so much, so in a logical sense it's good
that you're gone - that you left that job? But, because you got "fired" and suddenly didn't have income, even though you're perfectly capable of getting another job in short order, you temporarily felt crazy - like your life was threatened somehow. Even though that is illogical, isn't really what's happening, it "felt" that way. It felt so threatening. Or somebody tarnishes your reputation at work and you just feel completely threatened. That's because our careers, as men, are the way we feel most vital and viable, if you will; survivability, so to speak. Taken all the way back to ancient times, if a man had a career as a hunter, for example, and suddenly broke an arm and couldn't hunt, he literally might die. What if he was – I'm not even talking about antibiotics and orthopedic surgery here. If for some reason a man lost his ability to do his "job", which is to hunt, he would die. Those same ancient, primitive instincts are still in us today. So, if you lose your job as a middle manager, even though you're not going to die from that, it feels like you could; even though that's irrational. That's what we're addressing in these career areas. That's why career is included as a core, core area of being a man because it literally is the only thing you really control in life. We don't control women. They are unique individuals. We can appeal to them and attract them, but we don't control them. But we most certainly control what we want to be when we grow up, or what we're driving for in our careers. Our careers make us feel alive. Divide career out into the three areas of the mind and you now have: Finding and Following Your Mission as a Man; followed by... How to Build Teams and Master Politics - very necessary for your career; and then finally... How to Lead, Strategize and Manage Problems, also very necessary for your career. 47
With these three subjects, take our three core courses: the Mature Masculine Power Program, the KWML Mastery Program, and the MindOS Mastery Program, and apply them to the area of career, the foundational core area of a man's life.
YOUR MISSION: Finding and following your “mission” as a man; why do I use the word mission? And why do I never use that word in referring to women's careers? Think about the gender difference, the difference between masculinity and femininity. Men all have a sense of a mission that they are on at any given time. Your mission - your temporary mission - might be you are trying to get to a party on time, or it might be you are trying to put something new on your car. You are on a mission to solve the problem. Or you are on a mission alongside your favorite sports team. You want to see them win. You feel like you're on the same mission as your team. This word mission is unique to us as men because of our masculine instincts.
Section 2 -
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YOUR MISSION, IF YOU ACCEPT IT 1. Is something you are naturally “good
enough” to grow at and learn even more about
2. Is something that you just plain like and enjoy
3. Is something that must benefit society if it is to be successful
4. Will never let you down, and can always be counted upon
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Finding Your “Mission as a Man”
If we go back to ancient, primitive times once again, and consider that men out on the hunt most certainly had a group mission and they had to accomplish that mission - food - or die. We are very goal directed in our instincts. I use that word "mission" to be something much bigger than just a job, or even a career. It's like a raison d'être; it's your reason for existence, or preserves your existence. It's what you are put on earth to do, that has more to do with life than just finding a great relationship or marriage or even having children. It's what makes you unique. It’s what makes you feel alive, “viable,” vital, passionate, and “on fire” as a man. Everybody can have a relationship. Everybody can have children, but what makes you unique and different as a man has everything to do with expressing itself in your career. We've all had jobs, a job; but our jobs, many of them or most of them; don't feel like a mission for our lives. It's not what we were put on earth to do.
With the Mature Masculine Power Program we really heavily cover masculinity - yes in the area of attracting women, but even more so in the areas of: · How can I be a man in the workplace and what is my mission in life? · How can I figure out what that is and start executing on it; moving toward it?
BUILDING TEAMS: The second area: How to Build Teams and Master Politics. That's KWML Mastery. Building teams, composing teams, deciding who to befriend in the workplace, who makes a great business partner, has everything to do with choosing someone whose personality is opposite your own. In fact, the perfect team in the workplace or in building a business is composed of a king, a warrior, a magician and a lover, because combined; they can solve any problem together. They have the complete set of skills as a team to solve any problem. Building teams and mastering politics has a lot to do with understanding people's personality styles. That's why KWML can be applied to your career in that way.
Section 3 -
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YOU CAN’T GO IT ALONE
1. You have to have a team of men to succeed at your mission in life
2. You will have to be a leader, like it or not 3. Your team will need to have their personal
missions align with your own
4. And all individual missions will have to line up with the company in general
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Building Teams and Leadership
LEADERSHIP: ! Lastly, leadership has everything to do with your maturity level as a man. Strategizing and Managing Problems - that all has to do with your intellectual ability and character ability, maturity level, to be able to be a leader and manage and solve problems. That's MindOS Mastery. We've got two more general areas to apply masculine intelligence to. One is Skills at Being a Man, feeling like a man, operating like a man; and Skills at Personal Growth and Evolution. I'm going to cover these last two general areas of a man's life and how to apply masculine intelligence to them.
