Copyright © 2013 by Dana Shui LLC & Dana Claudat
Cover design by Shatterboxx
Book design by Dana Claudat
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any
electronic or mechanical means including information storage and
retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The
only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a
review.
Printed in the United States of America
First E Published: April 2013
DISCLAIMER
Please note that Dana Claudat is not a doctor of any sort, that all references to healing are anecdotal, no claims are made to diagnose, treat or cure diseases or anything of the like. Anything suggested to try on in this book is merely suggested for educational and inspirational purposes. If you chose to undertake a project, diet regime, home alteration or any other
suggestion found on these pages, you will be doing so at your own risk and your own responsibility. Dana Claudat & Dana Shui LLC will not be responsible for errors or omissions, although this data is fantastically well vetted for its accuracy and we have all intention of giving you the best
information possible.
In addition, Dana is not a magician and will not and does not promise you money, fame, power, marriage, good heath or anything else; she can only guarantee to provide you with feng shui principles as well as empowerment tools and other exercises and ideas to enhance spaces and help them to feel and look better. The rest is icing on the cake!
All of the images in this book are property of Dana Claudat and Dana Shui, LLC and should be attributed to The Tao of Dana, linked to http://www.fengshuidana.com, if they are used by you for any personal purposes in blogs, newsletters or the like. You do not have permission to use these materials for any commercial purposes. Feel free to send a request if you wish to use photography In addition, because my approach to feng shui & a feng shui’d lifestyle is unique in many senses, if I inspire you to write on a topic, please credit the ideas appropriately. Dana attribute every unique idea that was learned from another in this book. We all have unique contributions to make in our fields- lets honor all of our accomplishments as our own, and give credit where it is due.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
WEEK 1: get in touch. work on your relationship with space. Brainstorm: Home
Exercises for Week 1
Creativity: Your Life As Art Work Of Art!
WEEK 2: a world of energy. how you flow in life & space. Brainstorm: Magic
Exercises for Week 2
Cleaning Up: Green Home Goodies
WEEK 3: getting present. bring more of you to every day. Brainstorm: Best Moments
Exercises for Week 3
Home Karma: The History Of Your Space
WEEK 4: focus. get ultra-clear on what you want. Brainstorm: Dream Job
Exercises for Week 4
Stability: The Goal-Setting Class
WEEK 5: the bagua. understand how space affects life. Brainstorm: Gratitude
Exercises for Week 5
Scent: The Sweet Smell Of Being Present!
WEEK 6: the five elements. basic five element theory in practice. Brainstorm: Natural Inclination
Exercises for Week 6
Color : The Basics Of Color Power
WEEK 7: owning it. personal connection is power. Brainstorm: Rainbows
Exercises for Week 7
Sleep: & A Bedroom Feng Shui Basics Tune Up
WEEK 8: designing dreams. tune up your home and life. Brainstorm: The Arts
Exercises for Week 8 And.... end notes ;)
Introduction
By Dana Claudat
What exactly does feng shui mean? Lets’s turn to an entry in the dictionary:
Feng Shui- n. the Chinese art of determining the most propitious design and placement of a grave, building, room, etc., so that the maximum harmony is achieved between the flow of chi of the environment and that of the user, believed to bring good fortune [from Chinese feng wind + shui water]
~Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers
Now, for our purposes here, we might as well start at the beginning- my beginning, that is- so I can paint you a better picture of what feng shui is all about and how it can change your
FENG SHUI 101
Your dream life
design is autobiographical, intuitive & deeply connected to who
I grew up in a house that, for all intents and purposes, could have been the set for the film Boogie Nights. The 1970’s were alive and well straight through to the year 2000 in my house in Secaucus, New Jersey.
My grandmother lived downstairs, with her blue and green “stippled” carpeting and
popcorn panel ceilings, crunchy plastic on the sofas and “her chair” of ochre velvet that was her chair exclusively. She faced directly toward the kitchen where we ate at exactly 5:00pm every day in her chair as she watched game shows, soap operas and golf in turns.
Upstairs was where my sister, my mother and I had our bedrooms. This second floor featured goldenrod wall-to-wall carpet throughout, except for both my room carpeted in putrid lime and my sister’s den-turned-bedroom that sported burnt orange shag. To this day I will never voluntarily choose carpet of any kind in my home.
Our upstairs kitchen had a groovy wooden deck that was accessible through the door beside the rarely used Kenmore dishwasher. Half of my lifetime in that house saw the deck in some state of dry rot despite the fact that it was rebuilt several times. There were no real extreme conditions to warrant this chronic breakdown, yet the deck was generally hazardous. My sister and I would tempt fate and sneak out there when we could, especially to smoke cigarettes when we were younger and very daring….until one of my sister’s friends got her leg stuck between splintering planks while running over a loose board. Why that deck always degenerated was a mystery to me, until I came to understand in my present-day awareness that it was located in the area of our house that correlated in feng shui with self-esteem and money. Neither was stable or easy to come by in that home, as cool and colorful as it was. The house just echoed our lives in its structure, potentially even making things much worse at times.
An interior designer fashioned the rest of 166 Meadow Lane in the mod hippie heyday of 1974 to be quite the showcase of all things groovy and theatrical. A custom fountain full of plastic plants and faux birds of paradise encompassed a full corner of the lofty open-plan living room. The problem? The fountain could be easily turned on with a switch but
FE N G SH U I 10 1
FE N G SH U I 10 1
it never had any water in it. One fateful day I realized I could fill it with water myself, Dixie cup after Dixie cup, and the fountain would actually move water- as a fountain should - when I hit the switch. I made that discovery at nine years of age while orchestrating a safari-themed photo shoot with my Polaroid and my Cabbage Patch Kids. My mother was breathlessly horrified. The water could ruin something! The fountain could break! Promptly the fountain was left to dry out, never to see a drop of water again for decades. My mother didn’t understand that an empty fountain was already broken.
My favorite wall of the house- the biggest living room wall- featured C. Jere golden metal disk sculptures, giant wooden keys, funny faux-planters and an illuminated oil painting of flowers. I thought this wall had style and daring. In a sense this wall became the template for the type of art and display I prefer- personal, strong, eccentric yet unified.
Everything in that house on Meadow Lane was kept in pristine condition. My mother preserved the place better than a pickle with not the slightest change made for 25 years. Our furniture bore holes in the rugs beneath their legs. Even as young children, my sister and I would try to move things around, build forts and tear up our unbearably stale colored carpets all in an effort to set ourselves free. My dad was gone when I was eight. My mom turned the home into a mausoleum of “the golden years” in her life, and froze herself in the wildly bad color scheme of the past.
Yes, there’s that dark side. For all of the yang (bright and active) there is the yin (quiet and dark). Our house was always uneasy on its foundation, as were our lives. My mother decided that stopping time was the sensible way to deal with the disaster. Hence, our happy home in suburbia was the very exotic Mid-century Modern disco version of our personal prison.
When I look back at that house, I see that it was a reflection of a life that looked so enviable on the surface- my beautiful mother, her boastful Jersey home, her seemingly lovely and happy children and her adoring matriarch of a mother…. all frozen in time. As the years went by, nothing ever changed and no one got past the trauma and the drama
until we all left that house.
While I didn’t set out to be a feng shui lifestyle curator that I suppose I’ve become, I do understand that my childhood home and its affect on my life are indescribably powerful. That is why we are here-- so lets get started!!!
GET YOURSELF:
FE N G SH U I 10 1★ a dollar-store journal or a fancy journal or a Trapper Keeper book-like situation with lots of blank pages
★ some pens or pencils or crayons or, yes, an iPad or computer, but I prefer if you write by hand if you can
★ your cell phone or camera to snap pictures and a tape measure for later! Back Home! This is 166 Meadow Lane, inside...and dancing school recital fever!
GET IN TOUCH
work on your relationship with space
Space is intimate.
There is a field of research and approach to design called “Image Diagnostics® pioneered
by Beverly Payeff Masey; it has been
integrated into the canon of Pyramid School Feng Shui. While I will not get into the specifics of the techniques deeply here, I will give you a sketch so you can understand why we all need our own specific types of
environments. In essence, if we can identify the images that correlate to the architecture and structural details of spaces we
experienced as “safe” versus “unsafe” when
then we can understand the types of spaces we are best suited to live in as grown-ups. These “imprints” came about somewhat instinctually and they explain, in part, why you may have lived in fabulous homes that felt “wrong” even when perfectly designed, and also sheds some light on why some of us never feel comfortable in certain types of spaces no matter how many times they are renovated or redecorated.
As a child, my safest spaces were in old apartment buildings with marble floors (my godmothers apartment) and in 60’s
craftsman houses (her house at the shore).
WEEK ONE
Our lives used to be far more connected
to each other & to space; now we need
to get back in touch!
like that marble-floored piece of history in Jersey City, New Jersey? Is surprising that today my neighborhood is full of craftsman houses that I walk and drive past in an idyllic manner, feeling quite at home? Neither is coincidental.
As you read through this book, you will uncover more of what “home” means to you, how “home” feels specifically in your life, and how well you are creating “home” for yourself now!
Habits & Your Home.
When I enter people’s homes, I often like to watch where they sit, how they walk through their space, and what they tend to focus their eyes upon while I am there. Some people have a favorite chair or spot on the sofa where they spend most of their time at home. One man I know who works at home takes copious showers to “wash off” one part of the day and start the next. One friend of mine watches TV in bed for an hour in the morning and another can’t get the day started without a bath. Some people avoid whole rooms of their home, like my friend who had a real live ghost (it pulled on me!!!!) in the spare bedroom that she never entered.
In the weeks to come we will take a closer look at the possible significance of areas in your home that you are avoiding or that you deeply dislike, but for now, it is work taking a look at the fact that those places might exist for you. Is there a closet that you never want to enter? A room? A certain chair? How do you avoid these areas? How do you process the fact that they irk you? Do you look at the crack in the wall and say “ one day I will fix that…”
sighing deeply because it is such a bummer to behold yet you are not motivated to fix it? Moreover, how does your energy change when you are in the rooms or spots you like the least?
Communication.
Communication is an art form that is well worth mastering. The words you speak have a major impact on your life in every way possible. How you walk through every day- even your posture and your stride- communicate to the world. Your life on social media is a powerfully public form of communication, even if it is one step (or many steps) removed from personal connection. You also communicate with space, especially when you are really present.
Communication is the product of every medium that an artist can work with.
Legendary artwork holds a timeless power to speak to humanity. All art borne in truth has that indelible power to send a message into space, even if it has never left the wall of your bedroom. In the wake of
Contemporary art in the early 20th Century,
ideas behind artwork became as important as the visual work itself. Some art has since become valued purely in its idea-form even if it was never created by the hand of the artist. What has never fallen away from art or its history is the importance of clear and well-constructed expression.
Some say that your thoughts
communicate to others without even voicing them, as though you can hear the thoughts around you in a telepathic “sixth sense” sort of way. I’m sure you have had a thought of someone and then they called you or you
FE N G SH U I 10 1
ran into them during the day. You might think of a song and then find it on the radio when you turn it on. You may feel someone is about to say something before they say it, and then they do. Whether you call it telepathy, intuition, synchronicity or just plain coincidence, these incidents give some credence to the notion that even our
thoughts are actually “audible” without words and that subtle waves in the air might just be detectable if we tune into them and pay attention.
I am fairly sure you have all read or heard of “The
Secret” or the “Law of Attraction” which promote the notion that if you can think and feel and imagine something clearly, you will see it “manifest” in your life. There are thousands of examples of how this “Law of Attraction” works in life, with mega-stars
proclaiming its greatness. I absolutely can say that the ability to see a goal clearly and experience life as if that desired objective has arrived definitely has moved me closer to my objectives, but there are a few missing ingredients not covered often in these books (like working with intensity and smarts, having an aptitude for what you want, and having goals that are actually vested with purpose, amongst other things these books don’t always cover!), the core of this thought philosophy is about how one’s clear
thoughts can communicate to produce results in the physical universe. That idea has been proven somewhat scientifically following Einstein’s theories- your thoughts
have mass (weight) and they have energy (waves) that are definitely bouncing around in space.
What does this philosophy have to do with your home and your life? Everything! To explain, lets talk about space itself. If you believe that as a human being you are comprised of a mind, a body and perhaps a soul, you still need a space for all these parts to communicate with one another and with an environment in order to function. At the
risk of getting too metaphysical, if you didn’t have a space within
which to function you would cease to exist as
you know yourself right now! Your
country, your state, neighborhood, home, office, mode of transportation and even your life on the Internet are spaces within which you function.
Space tends to mirror the inner workings of your thoughts and mind. The Japanese concept of esho funi explains the “oneness of man and environment.” If your environment is out of whack, your thoughts and well-being are also likely to be askew.
There is an inexplicable line of
communication between ourselves and our spaces. If you walked into a home of a prospective business partner and saw a pile of dishes in the sink, scuffs on the walls and the lighting was dim, you might immediately feel like this will not be a successful venture. This person is communicating their
potential lack of follow-through, vigor and initiative through their environment.
FE N G SH U I10 1
“Go and do the
things you can't.
That is how you get
to do them.”
- Picasso
This person would not need to say a word: you would see it and feel it all immediately. Often with clients I will educate them on red flags to look for in potential romantic partners, things that a home will
communicate clearly that a person will not often say in words.
Of course, in light of what I just said, you are probably scanning your mind to see if you have any big problems in your home that are communicating issues that are messing with your life that you don’t talk about...and that’s the beauty of this process! We will kick things off by focusing on simple ways that you can get more present in your home and your life so that you can and will see what is out of whack in your space and, week by week, slowly but surely, create a clear and clean space full of dynamic energy. That clarity will influence your thoughts, decisions, emotions and actions.
This is the process of do-it-yourself feng shui that will empower you
tremendously as you move through the steps.
In this first week of action we will start with the seemingly fluffy or apparently unrelated stuff that will later prove invaluable to making your home and life click as never before.
Please note: you might want to skip ahead. Instead, dig deeper into the work for the week you are in.
Right about now would be a great time to grab that journal, or paper or a sketch pad and something you like to write with…. We are ready to get into action!
FE N G SH U I 10 1 Fusce ac leo Purus, in consectetuer Proin in sapien. Fusce urna magna,neque eget lacus. Maecenas felis nunc, aliquam ac, consequat vitae, feugiat at, blandit vitae, euismod vel.
This week there are lots of exercises. Approach them with an open mind and a spirit of play. It is very easy when you start to look around and get overwhelmed, depressed, stressed or totally discouraged. You need to stay on the path. Cleaning up your life & redesigning it is no small task!
HOME
Bust out that journal and think about the things that remind you of home. If
you have pictures of your first home, see if you can drag them out. If you still
live there.... what about it makes you feel safe, comfortable and supported.
Write down colors, scents, different times of day, different views out the
window, perhaps a piece of furniture... what triggers home. If the home you
grew up in was not the place that made you feel at home, where did you feel
most at home? A friend’s house? A park? A playground? Classroom? One of
the greatest spaces of my childhood was the art room at Huber Street School
in Secaucus, New Jersey. I remember every inch of it, even where the tempera
paint was stored in crusty squeeze bottles and crumbly paste was piled on a
shelf that tasted like a combination of starch and waxed paper. The
CorningWare dishes my grandma had in her kitchen stenciled in ochre
flowers make me feel like home. I can’t wait to take them out of storage.
While you do this free-write, don’t think too much. Don’t edit yourself. It
may be some very obscure things that remind you of home. It may be
extremely clear and specific. Really write and write until you have captured
that feeling as best as you can. That is the essence of home. If it has colors,
scents, tastes, styles or views, that will all come to light.
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FE N G SH U I 1 01Exercises For Week 1
Go For A Walk (or a drive) In Your Neighborhood
The key word here is NEIGHBORHOOD. I happen to be a “neighborhood-y” person. I know everyone in my building, I know my neighbors, and I know the locals. I have a dog and we know all of our doggie friends. Not everyone is hard-wired this way. If you are considering a move, or especially a home purchase, I suggest you try this exercise for at least 30 minutes to an hour. I like to do this, if possible, by walking a few blocks out in one direction and making a circle around my home base, weaving in and out of blocks. If you are driving around, pay close attention. Your neighborhood can influence your life, so its worth paying attention.
Take it all in as you walk or drive around. Are there plenty of street lights? Do your neighbors walk the streets? What does the sidewalk look like? Do you like the signs
hanging around your house or building? Do cars speed past your home? Do you live on a dead end street? Are there schools or public shopping centers nearby? Do you feel safe? Do you feel at home?
Once you are home from this little walk, write down anything you noticed or remember, negative or positive. There is usually a redeeming area within walking distance of almost any home, even if the immediate neighborhood is not that great. Or, at times, like in Downtown Los Angeles, you can live in a phenomenal building with absolute industrial desolation surrounding you on all sides for as far as your feet can carry you. While I would wither in such a place, others might find it to be a paradise.
If you are not pleased with your trip around your neighborhood, do not dismay. We will make changes inside your home later to compensate for what you may be lacking outside.
Your Own Interior Design Tour
When I am doing feng shui consultations online, it is my client’s job to photograph their home for me. By saying this I do not mean that I want them to detail and polish and style their home with professional lighting and take photos with giant cameras. I ask my clients to be honest and thorough, photographing their home from every angle as it is experienced daily without props or artifice.
The best way to photograph your home in order to see it objectively: shoot your photos at an hour that you are usually home where there may still be a glimmer of outdoor light but we can still see in pictures how your interior lights/lamps are functioning to illuminate.
FE N G SH U I 10 1
WORKSHEET
Turn on all the lights you have that you regularly use. That’s it. Nothing more. Yes, you are about to see how you actually live. Now, snap away with your camera or smartphone, starting from OUTSIDE of the front door, then head through the entrance front door and working around each room and hallway, snapping every wall. Capture important details- from your favorite crystal doorknobs to the crack spanning the length of your hallway wall. Everything.
I don’t care if you use a disposable drugstore camera, your phone, a vintage Polaroid or a great big SLR, just take the time to do a great walk-through in photos. Develop, download or stash them for now.
A “Touching Tour”
I know, I sent you walking the streets and running around your house with your camera phone and now I am asking you to start touching random objects around you… but that’s what you need to do! Start by touching whatever is closest to you. Look at it, feel it (is it cold, soft, damp, scratchy?) Lift it if its something small like a coaster. Now, do the next object. Walk around and randomly touch things. The floor or carpet, too! The walls. You don’t need to do this for long, just long enough to get a material sense of yourself
interacting with your stuff. How will you know when you are done? You’ll know. If you don’t know, stop whenever you want to.
“This Room Makes Me Feel…..”
This part of our “getting to know our homes” week is easy. Or it’s not easy. The good news: it is just a few words per room. Stand in each room and ask yourself how each room makes you feel.
Look at what is in front of you and listen to any negative or positive thoughts or
FE N G SH U I 1 01
Tip: If you noticed how dark or overly bright your home is while taking your photos, make a note in your book. You may not realize that you are “dimming” active areas of your life (and house) by keeping the wattage low, or never using certain lights. You may be flooding your home with too much hot light, to the point where you are over-stimulated and maybe even have trouble sleeping at night or difficulty finding “quiet time.” You can make a little adjustment now. Any burnt out lights get added to your to-do list to be replaced--- right away! Light bulbs are relatively inexpensive and very important.
associations that come up as you look around. Looking and listening will start to wake you up to the many ways in which your home helps you or possibly holds you back. This stuff is well worth writing down. It will be the basis for many of the changes you will make in weeks to come.
What and Where Do You Avoid?
I am not a big fan of the mailbox. Don’t ask me why. Some people check their mail daily and I would aim for monthly if it were possible. I never had this problem before, until the trashcans were taken from my lobby and a table was put out beside the mail area that collects junk mail in an ugly manner. Now, I tend to avoid that very large space in my lobby completely.
Also, for about a year I avoided my very groovy dining room. The walls were plain and the table was sparse. I did an elaborate peony colored wall treatment to the main wall and added a mini-money tree and fabulous crystals to the center of the table and now its my favorite space in my house. So…. What and where do you avoid? Write it down.
Now, think of what makes you feel weird about it?
You need to use and feel whole in all the space you have. By doing even minor “facelift” action to just one totally avoided area of your house, we are opening up more of life as well as more space. Now… Creatively brainstorm a way to make that avoided spot feel better. There is no right or wrong. This also does not have to be a major event, but if you are very inspired it very well could be a revolution.
Make a plan this week to polish your place of avoidance.
Check In With Your Online Neighborhood
For the rest of the week, if you have time left, all I ask is that you look at how your “online environment” is flowing. Not that long ago I woke up to realize I had a three year old phone, a six year old operating system on my desktop and no way to work outside of my office at home (no iPad, no laptop). My social media wasn’t really flowing together and my ability to store and synch data was zilch. Given the fact that I have half of my career tied to the Internet, it was a shocking state of affairs! And… it just crept up on me and caught me totally unaware! It was a very small investment to upgrade my entire online life with new technology.
How does your life online flow? Are you synching calendars, data and contacts? Do you know how to use your technology well? Are you socially linked in as much as you want to be… or are you too linked in?
FE N G SH U I 10 1
We are starting with creativity because its the fundamental energy behind everything in life. From microscopic cells to whole nations - its all founded on creativity!
There are a few key concepts about creativity that are motivating and thought-provoking at the outset of our 8 weeks together. I’ve linked my free creativity class HERE (pre-recorded so you can watch at your leisure), so that it can inspire you & give you even more ideas!
There are two important parts of the class that I want to go over now, even before you watch it!
Create : to bring into existence
2 a : to invest with a new form, office, or rank
b : to produce or bring about by a course of action or behavior 3: cause, occasion <famine creates high food prices>
4 a : to produce through imaginative skill <create a painting> b : design *Merriam Webster Dictionary
1. The dictionary definition of “create” does not involve judgement. Being a masterful painter or a crappy painter
are the same as far as creating is concerned. If you judge how creative you are be based on the quality of your work at the moment, you will not only prevent yourself from improving, you will also create a great big self-esteem issue for yourself rife with self-invalidation.
2. Create a safe space within which you can be creative. This is one of my most-frequently-called-upon
exercises from Julia Cameron’s genius creativity book, The Artists Way. Put a circle on a piece of paper. Inside the circle list the people who you can wholeheartedly trust to support your artists endeavors for better or worse without judgement. Outside the circle list the people who you love but who might not fully understand or support your work. If you are vigilant about not sharing your creative development with those outside the circle... no matter who they are...you will have a safer space to create these gains. This is really super-helpful and you can avoid a lot of drama if you stick to your guns.
CREA
TIVI
T
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FE N G SH U I 1 01A WORLD OF ENERGY
how you flow in life & space
Quantum gorgeous.
I remember in second grade we learned the basic structure of atoms. Protons, neutrons, electrons, all buzzing around, make up the basic structure of every single thing on this planet. Then we learned basic chemistry, all about how every element in the periodic table had a unique structure of atoms bound together somehow magnetically.
Nevertheless, they were still buzzing little atoms. My chair, I thought, was going to melt apart as I sat on it, listening to this elementary lecture. I raised my hand and asked, “But, doesn’t that mean that everything is kind of alive?”
Of course, my somewhat perplexed science teacher told me that I was wrong. Later I came to understand that this very simple assumption was totally right. Every single thing in the universe is energy, no matter what form it takes.
Masaru Emoto’s studies of water crystals documented in many books like The Hidden Messages In Water have been deemed quackery by many scientists, but I can’t help believe there is more than a “crystal” of truth in his findings. Emoto used a microscope to examine frozen water crystals after the water samples were
subjected to various stimuli.
WEEK TWO
Energy. Its such a buzz word because the world moves faster &
faster! Get into your own energy
For example, a sample of water was prayed to, and this water froze to be
gorgeous crystals under a microscope, yet a sample of water that was “yelled at”
disparagingly might not even freeze into solid ice crystal at all. Given the fact that we are a large percentage of water as human beings, these studies, if factual, have
enormous impact upon the way that various stimuli affect our bodies as well as everything on this planet. I suggest you take the time to look at Emoto’s photos and writings- they are fascinating if only
philosophical. In Buddhism, it is taught that EVERYTHING is capable of attaining enlightenment. That is a somewhat thrilling concept: if everything is held together by specific magnetic bonds and energy is running
through everything, why can’t EVERYTHING be capable of attaining its most ideal form?
Exactly. It is quite cool to think about. You can dive deep and study this concept and all of quantum and particle physics in depth and I am sure it can be time well spent. For our purposes, lets just start with this idea: things are not just what they seem on the surface. Everything is energy and everything is capable of undergoing transformation.
Now, you may have heard the concept of “chi” or “qi” when reading about feng shui or Chinese philosophy. Chi is not a thing. Chi is what is experienced through the senses. I know at first that this concept
sounds convoluted, but chi is what you energetically pick up from life. For our intents and purposes, chi is purely experiential. Chi is something akin to life force, or that essence that infuses life with “life.” So, if a chair or a table is held together by magnetic bonds or atoms and their moving particles, chi is what we feel as a result of experiencing these qualities of the chair through our sense- vision, scent, touch, hearing, temperature and taste.
When chi is positive, you feel fabulous. When chi is blocked or absent or negative, you feel like crap.
Chi is the life force energy that also circulates
through your body. Acupuncture and
Traditional Chinese Medicine harness and balance chi and help it to flow to create
optimal health. Feng Shui, in a sense, is like acupuncture for your
environment. When you have chi flowing and optimized at home or work, chances are that you will feel fantastic.
The energy of your home is something that you experience as chi. Our goal is to amp up the positive flow of chi and
eliminate imbalances in your environment. Your experience of your space is highly personal, and after last week, I bet you have a better sense of where things may fall flat or feel stagnant around you. This week you can make a few small adjustments that hopefully will breathe momentum into the weeks to come.
Before we get to moving things around, lets talk about your physical energy. Do you
FE N G SH U I 1 01
“The universe
exists because we
are aware of it.”
- Martin Rees
sleep well, eat well, have mental focus and get enough exercise? I know, that is one massive loaded sentence full of questions, but they are all worth a look. The “chi” you have as a human being is something
undeniably powerful. My acupuncturist always says, “Follow your energy” but if you don’t have much energy, you have nothing to follow!
Fake energy is a problem lots of us grapple with. Caffeine, cigarettes, sugar, “energy drinks”… all designed to give us a lift. Invariably that lift ends on a low note. Even if you don’t eliminate any of these things right now, get conscious of them. Unconsciously I used to drink 2 giant blended coffee drinks a day and drink Cokes with lunch, smoking about a pack of cigarettes a day. Once I became aware that my fake energy had gotten the best of me and I was dragging myself around, a nutritionist asked me to log what I was putting in my body. It’s a good exercise if you are a fan of fake energy like I have
been. Just seeing that list turned me off of coffee and Coke and sugar and chain-smoking for about 6 years now. Once my real energy was replenished with sleep, food and actual exercise I could never go back to living on the brink of collapse in the world of strung-out, faux fuel.
Tip: A holistic healer once taught me that the worst thing I could do for people was to worry about them, as that worry sends confusing and negative energy toward a person while is solves no real issues. Next time you find yourself worrying about someone, find an action to do or sit and think good thoughts about that person and let go of the worry. Scientific or not, it really frees up a lot of energy that gets needlessly wasted in ruminating.
FE N G SH U I 10 1 Fusce ac leo Purus, in consectetuer Proin in sapien. Fusce urna magna,neque eget lacus. Maecenas felis nunc, aliquam ac, consequat vitae, feugiat at, blandit vitae, euismod vel.
MAGIC
Have you experienced magic?
I’ve had some wildly transcendent experiences and have seen lots of kooky
stuff. I’ve also pulled off what seem like impossible feats every now and then.
We all have. That said, I’ve also had periods where I felt like the world was
flat and so was my energy.
Have you experienced magic? Have you felt your own personal magic?
Whether in synchronicity (you think of someone and run into them on the
street), awesome events that feel like miracles, wild happenings, a moment of
major realization or the like have you experienced magic?
Write, list, collage, paint, draw, sing or dance what magic feels like. Try to put
into tangible expression the unspeakably amazing essence of all that is you.
We all have magic. Sometimes we see glimmers and sometimes magnificent
waves...but its there!
Dig in. Write it out. Blog it. Do a spoken word performance of it. Have fun
with this. This is not a test. This is not an exercise to make you wish you had
something you don’t.... this is about affirming all that is you. While no one
may understand you magic yet but you- (no one understands mine!)- its
important for you to acknowledge and remind yourself....so indulge!!!
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FE N G SH U I 1 01Exercises For Week 2
Check Your Passageways
How is the energy moving in your hallways inside your place? How is the walk from room to room? Is the hallway that leads to your place in your building kinda funky? If your hallways are dark, think about adding more wattage or a bigger light fixture, or even painting them in a brighter color, even a brighter shade of white. If your hallways are spare, contemplate a little décor on the walls. If the energy is depressed, a plug-in
aromatherapy scent will lift the area. There are many non-toxic and even therapeutic home scent options at your local Target or Walmart, or check online for fancier aromatherapy! I have been known to plug scented aromatherapy into public hallways in apartment buildings I’ve lived in, and the neighbors have been nothing short of ecstatic.
“Poison Arrows”
Basically, if you are threatened in any way- symbolically or actually- by any décor or structure in your home, you have got yourself a poison arrow. While we may not find every one of them right now, we are going to find the major ones.
A starter list of poison arrows to look for:
• Unstable light fixtures or chandeliers with giant points swinging overhead, especially over the center of a bed or a foyer.
• Coffee tables with sharp edges that have corners that point toward people seated at the table, and the same for sharp-edged nightstands.
• Any scary or precarious architectural stuff that is menacing (sharp fences, nails in the flooring or walls that should not be exposed but stick out, etc)
• Branches of trees blocking doorways or pointing directly into windows • Super-narrow hallways that are obstructed
• Ceiling fans overhead while you are sleeping (especially when turned on) • Dangerous or ominous sculpture with severe edges
These are a few basics to give you a pretty good idea of bad energy. Throw a tablecloth or a throw blanket over sharp, confronting corners. Move or remove any potentially
dangerous stuff you have been apt to avoid. I know that this may seem like common sense, but you will be shocked to see what happens when you do something as simple as softening a few pointy edges.
I worked with a woman who has such a gorgeous home with fabulous art on the walls.
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FE N G SH U I 10 1This fabulous art was sculptural and hung in dramatic and gorgeous ways. What she didn’t realize was that in her living room this delightful art was ready to sever someone’s head if they sat on her sofa! It was easier to show her than tell her. She said she was open to entertaining but it just didn’t happen often enough. “Ok,” I said, “ let me sit down like I would at a party and...” She started laughing as my hair became one with a sculpture suspended behind me as I sat down, realizing that she has unconsciously created a space that looked great but didn’t accommodate others. Eliminating the poison arrows opened up the space tremendously to a new flow of people and events.
Creating Welcome Inside
Let’s look now at how welcoming your home is on a basic level. What is the first thing you see when you walk into your home? How about when you enter your living room/ living space? You should be greeted by welcoming images or views as you enter a home or office and as you enter each room you should be again greeted by places to sit and comfortable space for guests. Even if you are currently not planning to entertain, having room and seats for others creates positive chi. If you do not entertain guests because you are not a fan of your home, remember: that is why you are reading and doing this process!
Look at each seating area in your home. Are there ample spaces to sit? Is it comfortable? Is there a center of gravity (a coffee table, maybe with something on it like magazines or a great orchid or books?) in every gathering space you have? Gravity creates focus and makes us feel comfortable in a room. Can you easily have conversations with others seated in the home? There are many feng shui meanings to seating arrangements and shapes and sizes, but for our purposes, lets get things comfy and flowing and clear.
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Tip: You don’t need to have a welcome mat outside your door to have a welcoming entranceway. You can add a little note of welcome on your door in custom vinyl that peels off (on Etsy you can find someone to do this easily), you can paint your door a fiery color, you can put a luscious plant beside your door, you can re-paint or polish your door number to be more enticing….Really, the possibilities are endless so don’t be dismayed if you feel you can’t create a “traditional” welcome outside your house or apartment.
Fake Energy List
Go ahead and make your list in your fabulous journal for the week. Coffee, tea, soda, sugar, energy drinks….Missed meals, cigarettes, alcohol… Log everything you eat, even for a day. A week will blow your mind. Sometimes you don’t know how healthy or unhealthy your habits are until you shine a light on them. No criticism here- just awareness. If you are so compelled, maybe you pass on a few cookies or grab a water in lieu of an extra large coke? Up to you. I just want you to see for yourself how balanced your energy is or isn’t--- and food is energy, too!
“Faking It” Energy List
If you have to pretend to make it through a day, chance are you are either a) a professional actor or b) expending way to much energy being someone that you are not. While I wholeheartedly subscribe to the fact that sometimes you have to bite your tongue a bit for the sake of maintaining peace, ultimately...you can’t walk through life tongue-biting. Now is a good time to look and see how much you are “acting” with people and in circumstances in your life. There’s a good chance if you are “acting” for lots of people that you are also undercutting your own integrity along the way, “to keep the peace.” Agreeing to things you don’t agree with, making choices to gain acceptance, doing things you are not OK with to “get ahead.” Can you get real with your life and ditch this facade? Or... can you find a way to maintain your integrity while being polite and kind? For those of you who struggle with this faking it issue, realize that the more real you can become the more effective you will be not just in our feng shui’d lifestyle journey but in your whole entire life!
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Tip: Eating with the seasons is the best way to stay in tune with nature and have the best nutrition for the time of year. In fall and winter, focus on roasted or braised or baked foods, lots of warm herbs like ginger, cayenne and turmeric. Summer and spring can be more raw and cooler, mints and fruits and grilled foods that are less savory. A local farmers market can be the perfect introduction to seasonal eating, and also a great way to live closer to the ethos of nature if you are a city-dweller.
Here is a cheat sheet of home cleaning goodies I use:
CARPET FRESHENER: Very simple. Baking soda. I shake 5-10 drops of my favorite pet-friendly essential oils (usually lavender, but sometimes I mix it up) into the box and shake it up. I let it sit for a bit to “blend” in the box, then sprinkle on the carpet before vacuuming. Let it sit on the carpet for a while. Hoover it up & your whole home will smell fresh!
TOILET CLEANER: One cup of white vinegar goes in the toilet. Leave it there to sit for a good long while. Grab half a cup of baking soda and sprinkle & scrub, sprinkle and scrub until everything is clean. Then flush! Done!!!
HOMEMADE SOFT SCRUB: Mix up a bit of water, a cup of baking soda and about 10 drops of sweet orange essential oil to make a little paste. Alternatively you can skip the water and make a crumbly mix of orange oil in the baking soda and use a damp sponge to pick it up to scrub. Instant soft scrub! Its not only extremely effective; the orange is divine! Unlike commercial cleaners, if residue remains you can bathe in it without fear.
FLOOR CLEANER: A little castile soap in a bucket of water with 10-20 drops of lavender or orange oil = mopping perfection! (I’ve used this on wood, too! Do so by testing it in a small spot first to be sure the soap is OK for your wood finish!)
WINDOW CLEANER: White vinegar and water, half and half, in a spray bottle is my basic recipe for a streak-free window cleaner. To be truly eco-friendly, use your old
newspaper to clean the windows. It actually works brilliantly and creates a streak-free finish! You can add 15 drops of lemon or orange essential oils to the mix for a room freshening cleaning experience that will life your mood, too.
REFRIGERATOR CLEANER: Warm water and baking soda mixed up with a little castile soap will squeaky-clean your refrigerator. I’ve used just a bit castile soap in warm water with success, but the baking soda somehow makes it work better. I finish the job with a water wipe-down using a clean sponge. Of course, pop an open box of baking soda in your fridge and freezer when you are done, and replace them as often as you can remember!
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FE N G SH U I 1 01GETTING PRESENT
bring more of you to every day
Congratulations! Today we start working on getting more present in your home or office. Welcome to TODAY.
Today is something lots of us (myself included) never truly feel because we are so caught up in the future or the past. Our more “New Age society” prizes the notions of “visualization” and “manifestation” and the game of seeing the future as though it were today in an attempt to make your dreams real today. Thousands of people say that they do this and they get what they want. I certainly have done this: visualized so intensely that I made things appear
“magically.” But, in the period of waiting for
those things to appear I tended to miss out on the life happening around me in this present day. I have found that it is valuable to stay present during the day and set aside specific time for daydreaming, visualization & meditative activity in the morning and night. Too much visualization and too little action is fantasy-land. Also, I found myself so caught up in a semi-fantasy that I lost the power to really handle reality in a
meaningful way. Do you know what I mean? Dreaming is great, visualization is awesome, but it’s not for every moment of every day: you must live!!!
Psychotherapy, pop psychology and our
WEEK THREE
The past and the future are both great, but when you get present, there is so much more joy
culture at large likes to focus attention strongly on the past, to link everything in our lives to childhood and to our parents (or lack of them), and to things that happened when we were kids. While it is immensely valuable to see how people and events and decisions have shaped who you are and where you are, it is not the full picture. If you dwell only in the past, looking for answers to “why”, how can you handle today? How can you do things today to make for a better tomorrow?
There is something to be said for showing up to the day with full attention on the matters at hand. Diving into the past and swimming out into the future are both valid and worthwhile, but we are going to talk about and work with this very moment called NOW. We are not going to deal with the psychological or the spiritual, but we are going to get very crafty and tuned-in to space and how it is affecting your wellbeing. In your self-styled feng shui makeover we will certainly look at your past ideas of “home” and also your future vision for your life. Most of the time, though, we will get very rooted in the present.
In Week 1 we started the process of getting more “oriented” in your home and neighborhood. In Week 2 we got rid of some of the impediments to smooth energy flow by rooting out big areas of “bad-vibey stuff “ or sha chi” or and creating more welcome. Now, we are going to take it to the next level and add some sights, sounds, scents and projects to get you moving with greater presence and grounded power as a person. This is the stuff I just love! Whatever you discover in the exercises below can become little tricks in your back
pocket to whip out when you are feeling spacey, checked-out or just plain ineffectual.
Paying Attention
I recently read a fabulous article by
Heidi Grant Halvorson, PhD in Psychology Today that explored the most effective way to break habits based on study and research. She explained the three major ways to handle bad habits- 1. Distract yourself so you don’t engage in the habit, 2. Avoid the areas that trigger the habit and 3. Vigilant monitoring. As it turns out, only “vigilant monitoring” reaped solid results. In essence, to break a bad habit you need to really be awake and aware and stop yourself before you indulge in whatever negative behavior you want to shake. Breaking habits effectively requires ATTENTION.
Your own routines, habits and psyche are the basis upon which you built your home, decorated it and currently maintain its condition. Your habits, how you flow with your energy, the routines you have created to avoid certain things and certain places: all are fundamental to the home you have now. For example: if you moved into your home during a divorce or a break up and find yourself single many years later, you may have created a space to protect yourself and maintain your safety, unconsciously
designing blocks to intimacy in your home. It’s a crazy thing to see what happens when you really pay attention: you become accountable for your actions. Suddenly you realize that you have that leaky faucet because you neglected to have the plumber come when it was recommended, and its actually not your crazy landlord’s fault. The
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fine you got for not recycling properly in your city is actually your fault, too! You never paid attention to the directions, after all. Sometimes I feel that it’s a deep desire to skirt accountability that keeps many people “fuzzy” headed, stoned, drugged with
sleeping pills and mind-altering medicines; if you are in a fog, after all, things “just
happen” and its easy to make the excuse that its not because of anything you did, you know? When you check out into a hazy dreamland, you avoid responsibility, When you check in to the present moment, you take responsibility.
By the end of this journey you will have a handful of new habits enacted and/or mapped out for yourself... brilliantly!
Clutter
To get present, we must remove, repurpose or polish up things from the past that we have stuffed away in corners of our lives- or our minds- that are doing nothing but taking up space. We talked a bit about the energy invested in objects. Think about all those broken objects collected in your closets that do nothing but highlight dysfunction. What about gifts from an old lover, a friend who betrayed you..? Do these things make you “feel” a certain way that is either longing for the past or resenting it in some way?
I had a fabulous client who de-cluttered her home prior to our consultation. She told me that there was nothing left to dump, that everything was totally clean and clear. She was ready for a new relationship and ready for big changes. After talking some time, I asked her what was in a cabinet in her bedroom in the prosperity area of the
room. “Oh, those are just my divorce papers.” Super-Bad Clutter. Needless to say, the papers went out and new lovers came in.
Scents & Presence
Here is our first minor foray into the vast science and art of aromatherapy. I am going to keep it very basic. I encourage you to read the warnings for every essential oil you try, as some are not good for pregnant women or people with certain heath issues. Overall, I tend to stick to basic essential oils that are very tried and true. Safety first: I still test a drop of two on my wrist and sniff it from the bottle for a few days before I start diffusing, spraying, sprinkling or making lotions and potions. Also, only use therapeutic-grade essential oils. The rest have been processed to the point where they lose their usefulness and good vibrations, become nothing more than diluted perfume.
Peppermint oil diffused in your air for a few minutes a morning for up to a week (no longer than that, its too stimulating) will wake up your mind’s eye. Make sure to do this early in the day if you try peppermint oil, as it can affect your ability to sleep. (Yes, it’s that powerful!)
Rosemary is another essential oil that I love for its ability to heighten alertness. I put a few drops in a bath with a few drops (I use 10 or so) of lavender oil to stay both grounded and awake when I am at a loss for focus. You can mix a few drops into any oil (even olive oil) or sprinkle some onto a spoonful of baking soda or a cup of Epsom salt or even milk to make the bath a
complete experience.
Clary Sage is truly divine and inspiring
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and creatively engaging. A couple of drops on an unglazed piece of pottery (usually the bottom of a flower pot) can sit by your office computer relatively unnoticed by anyone else, yet the perimeter of the fragrance (the distance the scent will travel) will envelope you in your seat.
Lavender is my go-to oil for most things. I mix a teaspoon in a small spray bottle of mainly water with a little vodka to create aromatherapy room spray. I sprinkle it on my pillows when I am very wound-up. I put a drop on my wrists when I am stressed and a little spacey.
We will touch upon more aromatherapy later, but for the ultimate learning
experience, check out Valerie Wormwood’s books. I happen to adore her book, The Fragrant Mind.
Music & Your Mind
Chopin, Bach, Vivaldi…There is a good chance one reminds you of vodka and the others sound like stereo systems, but these are just a few of the names to plug into your iTunes and download. Classical music has an intrinsic structure that mimics “artistic mathematics” and listening to this music while studying can improve your memory. Studies have shown that classical music can lift your mood, enhance your sense of well-being and even boost your IQ! See what happens when you trade Top 40 or your favorite music from an eclectic collection for Classical when you are feeling unhinged.
27 Things
If you feel spaced-out or stuck anywhere, move 27 things around your room. I know it sounds strange and arbitrary, but it works to get a new flow going. Think back to week one and how you felt when you started to touch and feel your space physically. Consider this a mini-version of that exercise with motion added to the mix. The number 27 is a multiple of 9, which is an auspicious number in traditional feng shui. To me , 27 is an arbitrary number, though large enough to make an impact on your space. Your 27 things can be as small as a paper clip or as big as a sofa. Just move’em!
Tip: Aromatherapy can be mixed into beauty products with a little experimentation. I mix a few drops of lavender into my conditioner at times. I mix a few drops of lavender and rosemary into a scoop of coconut oil to make the best scalp-stimulating deep conditioner on dry hair. After massaging it in and letting it sit for a bit, I shampoo and rinse with 1 part cider vinegar and 9 parts water after shampooing. Brilliant.
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BEST MOMENTS
What do you remember most about the last year? Two years ago? Five years
ago? See if you can pull up a list of the most vivid memories from the last
week. What about the month? What stands out? This doesn’t have to be
deep and soul-crushing. Just some funny, awesome, amazing moments.
Three years ago my sister showed my mother this fake prank call website and
my mother found it so hilarious to hear Dr. Phil fake-prank calling people
asking about their sex lives that she was literally on the floor laughing for
hours with my sister. Hours. Definitely a best moment.
What stands out for you?
Those memories are so clear because you were engaged on so many levels
with life at these times. See if you can remember in these shining moments
what things felt like, smelled like or sounded like. What were you wearing?
What did you eat? What were you touching? All of this sensory information
that comes flooding back to you when you think of triumphant times comes
from being present.
Its really fun to celebrate even the small, great moments. Those are generally
the best.
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FE N G SH U I 1 01Exercises For Week 3
Clutter Busting
Clutter-Junk-Trash- Stuff--- this is a big one. I am not going to load you down with a big to-do this this week because this is a big to-to-do list!!! You are going to actually attack your clutter and make a decided difference in de-cluttering your life.
Clutter: It creeps up on all of us. Clutter is where energy is stuck. Cluttered files can tremendously affect your finances. A cluttered kitchen can put a dent in your energy and momentum. Bathrooms full of clutter will leave you feeling less pampered, less attractive. This week you may not be able to fully clear the clutter but I would love for you to start with ten to fifteen minutes a day of attacking piles and clearing clutter that has been hard to confront. It’s really not a chore if you do just a bit a day. You may get a burst of
momentum and tare through a room in hours, but ten or fifteen minutes a day is all you need to make a major impact. Those minutes add up quickly!
What Lingers , Unfinished?
The unfinished projects in your life function similar to clutter, robbing energy, vivacity and future potential from your world. When a great opportunity arises to learn something new, experience something cool or even meet someone fabulous, you can’t really be there 100% with a plate full of…BAGGAGE.
Sit down and make a list of the unfinished things around you. (Everything from changing light-bulbs to repairing a broken clock to a month’s worth of laundry to that DIY project that has left your kitchen cabinets in disarray; classes you have abandoned, letters
unwritten, problems left un-confronted….) Now, run through your list and write down ONE THING you can do on each to move them even a millisecond closer to completion. Some things can be done right away- like laundry or dropping off a bag of donation clothes to the Salvation Army. Some will take time to see through to the end. Some (maybe a screenplay that wasn’t working for you? a painting class you didn’t like that much…?) may be able to get tossed off the list because you just truly do not need them in your life. That’s fine too. Just get this list running! Frequently check back to it and chip away at it until you are 100% clear of those unfinished cycles. Even the smallest step will do wonders for your confidence. Prioritize the bigger, more daunting tasks. This does not have to be drudgery. Imagine what your life will feel like when you are actually taking care of stuff rather than letting it pile up slowly and artfully into a haze of unrealized potential.
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FE N G SH U I10 1Karma is created an accumulation of cause and effect. In essence, karma is an effect of causes made along an infinite line of time and existence. You don’t need to alter your spiritual beliefs to know that what you do will have an effect. What has happened in a home prior to you and while you’ve lived there is what I call “home karma.” Looking at the pattern of life in a space helps to reveal what perhaps unseen or non-obvious things are happening in and around the immediate environment.
One of the first things that I usually ask my clients is what has happened in their lives since they’ve lived in their home. The next is why the former tenants or owners moved out. Ask yourself both questions. Ask around if you don’t know who lived there before you;
chances are someone will know who lived there and will tell you. Neighbors know things!
My friends discovered their multimillion dollar home used to be a meth lab. Both of them were getting sick living there; when they discovered who was there before they up and left. I got mail for the woman who lived in my place prior to me. I didn’t think twice about it until my friend saw the envelope. “Oh my gosh...that chick, what are you doing with her mail?!” she screamed. I realized that this woman was the phantom we used to get mail for at the art gallery my friend and I worked at: she quit before we were hired. We shared a stop on our career train, as well as an address, at different times! Another friend
discovered that the couple who lived in her place got divorced before she moved in. Given that information, it became much more clear how & why the space contributed to the tensions of a union once we knew the “house karma” of it all. We could “fix” the issue now that it was brought to light!
This week, see if you can discover what the history of your space is, and see if it relates to your life right now. This detective little exercise will bring you closer to the nuances and unseen forces of energy in and around your home. Tune in now. You’ll be creating new causes and experiencing new effects as we move along, but its nice to really understand this concept as a kick-off point!
THIS video tells a little parable and dives deeper into the not so subtle effects of our environment upon our lives. You might dig it.
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FE N G SH U I 1 01FOCUS
get ultra-clear on what you want
I know that it may seem a bit weird to wait until our fourth week to start defining goals for this process, but I find its easier to be clear on big things like “life purpose” when you are in a more clear and grounded place.
A Life Of Purpose
The world is blanketed over with want, want, want. Everyone wants something. Some want what they “can’t have”, or always want the person, place or thing completely contrary to their present life where the grass seems greener. Others spend their lives in
make them happy one day, and feel its tolerable and noble to be miserable in the process.
“Object lust” -or “retail therapy” as it is also delightfully called- is not terrible in and of itself. In fact, fashion and art and beauty are indispensable to a full life, whether you actually purchase or strictly window-shop. Most of us know that “things”- however awesome they may be- do not amount to real fulfillment.
Fulfillment is both intensely personal and tricky to define. What will make your life complete is totally different from what
WEEK FOUR
With greater focus, you become more of a dazzling laser beam, which means
more free play time, too!
friend feel the same. What seems to be constant is that living a creative life with purpose- (even if the purpose is as simple as “to take pride in what I do” whatever it may be)- generally leads to more lasting
happiness.
At the start of my feng shui practice, I used to have my clients tell me their “three wishes” which I would make “come true” in their feng shui re-design. Now I stay away from the word “wishes” because it seems that what I’m doing is magic.
You are the magic. I just provide a clear path but you add the magic, so its not really “wish
granting”. Now I ask, “What do you need? What do you want?” and that’s how we focus.
What is fascinating about the “wish granting” days of the past is this: Two major “wishes” prevailed over the
years across the boards: MONEY & LOVE. Very few people ask me to help create “balance” or “creativity” or “closer
friendships” or “self-esteem” or “a healthy home,” yet usually any one of these things is more necessary to help someone thrive than the very big words MONEY and LOVE. It’s a lot easier to wish for things or a person to complete the picture of life rather than to dive deeper and discover what would really make your life more harmonious.
To create a home that encourages financial prosperity for an unemployed creative woman would seem easy enough, right? You just do “feng shui money” things to the “money corner”, right? Well, as it
turned out, she had a deeply rooted feeling that she was not worthy of nice things, so we could mess with the “money corner” forever and she wouldn’t really “get” what she was not able to accept. Instead, we looked at her sense of creativity and personal investment in her space. She pulled out all of her more special home accessories- from silver
candleholders to fancy sheets to “good China” - that were all stocked in storage. This helped remind her than she was
worthy. Her sense of personal power- the “fame
area” (more on this to come later!) of her
home- needed a good deal of perking up as well. As a result, not only did she have a ton of money flow into her life, she also started taking classes and
renovating her sense of self and purpose in the world. She is currently buying her first house, and realizes that she, indeed, deserves it!
Love is the trickiest of all things to “manifest” if we are still talking in the language of “wish-granting”. There are a billion and one reasons why a person has not found the love of their life, or cannot keep love in their life. What is most curious is when I suggest that people start working on their present relationships (friends, family, colleagues) if they are not in a romantic relationship they look at me like I am from Mars. “I have great friends and a perfect family, I’m fine with everything with my friends!” one woman told me,
indignantly, as if I were accusing her of murder. As it turned out, she didn’t have
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“That’s been one
of my mantras-
focus and
simplicity.”
Steve Jobs
such stellar family relations, her friends were more than a bit untrustworthy, and she absolutely refused to make any of the changes I suggested for her home. “ I do things my way, “ she said. Our process ended. I think that’s just fine, its just very odd to reach out to me to feng shui your place if everything is perfect, though, isn’t it? In both of the above examples, words like “money” and “love” are exposed for what they are- complicated and oversimplified wants. If you are willing to expand the field a bit, you may find what you are craving is something very different and far more gratifying than an elusive person or financial payday, though both may figure nicely into the picture, too!
Your DREAM vs. Your CAREER
vs. What You Do All Day!
The work that you do for money may have absolutely nothing to do with your purpose, or it can be the totality of your mission in life. Some of you may be unemployed, full-time students, housewives or husbands, or independently wealthy: you all still need Purpose.
About three years ago, I hit the Los Angeles random-evening-event lottery- I was invited to see Simon Sinek talk at
Causecast’s offices in Santa Monica. I could barely sleep for days after his electrifying presentation, high on the sheer potential of purpose. His message was simple yet so elusive: when you start with WHY you do what you do and allow the WHY to inform your decisions and actions you are ultimately infusing your life with purpose and have a greater potential to both succeed and create good in the world.
Simon’s background is in marketing, and his examples were excellent. Apple
Computers doesn’t sell computers; it sells a lifestyle of innovation and individuality. Companies with amazing MP3 technology were around far before the iPod, and they did their best to flood the market… but they didn’t have the “WHY” to infuse their product with purpose. The iPod made all other MP3’s basically obsolete. Who can compete with the promise of an actualized dream? There are so many fascinating case studies, far too many to list here, so I highly recommend that everyone- especially those of you who run your own business or dream of it- check out Simon’s book, Start With Why.
The wildest part of Simon’s presentation, the part that left a lasting imprint on my mind, was this fact: our brains have a nearly impossible time on a mechanical level translating our own WHY - our life purpose- into words. So, if you are doing some soul-searching and feel stuck, the answer may be biological- your brain can’t physically tell you what your purpose is! So, how do you ever get to your WHY and live by your true purpose if you can’t express your purpose in words? The answer was astonishing and simple: “Ask your friends,“ he said. “If you ask your closest friends what they like about you, and press them to go beyond the generalities like ‘you’re are a good guy’ or ‘you are a great hostess’… really press them… you will come up with the core words that are a key to your WHY.”
I decided to badger my friends to tell me what they liked about me. After much belabored “Um….um….um….” I got some key words which I will share with a big dose
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