Practitioner Manual 2013 for Internet

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From NLP Practitioner Manual, www.transformations.net.nz © Transformations International Consulting & Training Ltd, 2012

N.L.P.

Practitioner

Certification

Strategies of Success

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© TRANSFORMATIONS International Training & Consulting Ltd, 2012

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NLP Practitioner Certification Manual Contents

Part 1: Strategies of Success

The N. L. P Model

.

...

9

N. L. P. Communication Model ... 10

The Value Of Choice ... 11

A Simplified Publishing History of N. L. P. ... 12

N. L. P. Is ... 13

Five Keys To Success ... 14

Wellformedness Conditions for Outcomes ... 15

Frames... 16

Distinguishing Outcomes ... 17

Fourteen Pre-suppositions of N. L. P. ... 18

An N. L. P Model of Facilitating Change ... 19

My Goals ... 20

Certification Standards ... 21

Rapport and Sensory System Use ...

25

Sensory Acuity ... 26

Mirroring ... 27

Rapport ... 29

Building Rapport: Options ... 30

Eye Accessing Cues ... 31

Predicates Sorted by Sensory System ... 33

Utilising Sensory Preference... 34

Sensory System Accessing Cues ... 35

Representational System/Lead System... 36

Verbal Pacing ... 37

Love Strategy ... 39

Translating Across Sensory Systems ... 40

Representational System Questionnaire ... 41

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Strategies, Submodalities and Anchors ...

45

Main Submodalities ... 46

N. L. P. Notation ... 49

Well-Formedness Conditions for Strategies ... 50

TOTE Model of Strategies ... 51

Eliciting a Strategy ... 52 Motivation Strategies ... 53 Decision Strategies ... 54 Spelling/Learning Strategies ... 55 Buying Strategies ... 56 Modelling ... 57 Installing a Strategy ... 58 Anchoring ... 59

Setting A Resource Anchor... 61

Pattern Interrupts... 62

Futurepacing ... 63

Installing a Spelling Strategy ... 64

Language Patterns ...

65

Logical Levels of Therapy ... 66

Reframing ... 67

Key Types of Presupposition ... 68

Identifying Presuppositions ... 69

Presuppositions Worksheets ... 73

Pacing and Leading Into Relaxation ... 75

The Milton Model ... 76

The Milton Model: Language Patterns in Training ... 82

Hierarchy of Ideas ... 88

MetaModel Chart ... 89

MetaModel Practise Questions ... 90

MetaModel Memory Pegs ... 92

The MetaModel ... 93

MetaModel Exercises ... 94

Constructing a Metaphor ... 95

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Part 2: Strategies of Transformation

Models For Transformation in NLP

.

...

98

Robert Dilts Neurological Levels ... 99

Richard Bolstad's Personal Strengths Model. ... 101

An N. L. P Model of Therapy: RESOLVE... 103

Anchoring Change Patterns ...

104

Collapse Anchors ... 105

Chaining Anchors ... 106

Change Personal History ... 108

Submodality Based Change Patterns ...

110

Basic Submodalities Change... 111

Main Submodalities ... 113

Belief Change ... 114

Submodality List for Belief Change ... 116

Swish Exercise ... 119

Healing From Grief ... 121

Trauma/Phobia Cure ... 122

Parts Integration Patterns ...

125

Parts ... 126

Six Step Reframe ... 127

Visual Squash ... 129

Parts Integration Model ... 130

Interpersonal Applications ...

131

Family Therapy Model ... 132

Five Step Sales Model ... 133

N. L. P. Approaches to Meetings ... 134

Who Owns The Problem? ... 135

The Rescue Triangle ... 137

Roadblocks / Helping Skills ... 139

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Using Reflective Listening ... 141

Reflecting Incongruity / Reflecting Problems As Solutions ... 142

Solution Focused Open Questions ... 143

I Messages ... 144

The Two Step ... 146

Notes From The Gottman Research On Couples ... 148

Conflict Resolution ... 150

Time Line Therapy



...

151

Elicitation of the Time Line ... 152

Testing Elicitation and Preparing ... 153

Discovering the Root Cause ... 154

Removing a Stressful Emotion ... 155

Removing a Limiting Decision ... 157

Placing a Goal in Your Future Time Line ... 159

Time Line Therapy™ Research ... 160

Huna: The Three Selves ... 161

Removing Anxiety From The Future ... 162

Changing The Time Line Location ... 163

Values and Metaprograms ...

164

Eliciting Values ... 165

Metaprograms ... 166

Hypnotherapy ...

168

Intonation Patterns ... 169

Hypnosis, Psychotherapy and NLP: A History ... 170

An Example of a Verbal Induction ... 171

Establishing Communication With The Unconscious Mind ... 174

Arm Catalepsy ... 178

Part 3: Background Information

Finding NLP Resources ...

179

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NLP In Therapy/Coaching...

190

NLP In Therapy:The RESOLVE Model ... 191

Postframing: Finding The Excellence That Was There ... 204

Methods of Checking Ecology ... 208

Research on SPECIFYing Goals ... 209

Couples Coaching ... 212

Changing Someone‟s Life In A Single Session ... 230

How Do You Structure An NLP Therapy Session? ... 242

Preframing Time Line Therapy™ ... 255

Maximising Transformation Using Parts Integration ... 259

The Betty Erickson Method ... 263

Other Areas Of Application For NLP ...

265

NLP In Health: Reminding The Body Of Its Own Abilities ... 267

Healing Cancer While Using NLP ... 274

The Fast Allergy Relief Process ... 287

NLP In Education: Teaching To The Right Sense ... 288

A Photographic Fast Reading Process ... 294

Tapping Into The Power Of NLP In Business ... 295

NLP In Purchasing/Sales ... 304

Examples OF NLP Sessions ...

309

Michael Yapko and Mike: Ending Depression ... 310

David Sheppard and Denise: Ending Pigeon Phobia ... 316

Steve Andreas and Lori: Bee Phobia ... 321

Richard Bolstad and Janet: Stopping Pain ... 324

NLP and Other Models Of The World ...

338

NLP and Other Models Of Psychotherapy ... 339

NLP and Religious/Spiritual Models ... 342

NLP Within The Maori World ... 359

NLP and Neurology ... 362

NLP Practitioner Assessments ...

381

Training Agreements ... 381

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The Design Of The Manual

The manual does NOT follow the order in which you learn the techniques. It is a long term reference designed to be useful as you work with people using NLP, over the next years, and so pages are categorised by the type of technique. Also, in designing this manual, we‟ve kept in mind that our students come from a variety of different career and personal backgrounds. To help you think about how NLP relates to the contexts you want to use it in, the following symbols appear throughout the manual. They draw your attention to items that are particularly relevant to that context, or to examples how you can apply the NLP skills in that context.

Teaching and Training



Coaching and Psychotherapy



Personal Development





Business, Management and Sales  Medicine and Health Professions





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The

N. L. P.

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N. L. P. Communication Model

External Event Internal Representations State Physiology Behaviour Filters Delete, Distort and

Generalise information  Language  Memories  Values  Beliefs  Metaprograms

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The Valuing Of Choice

NLP is based on an attitude of curiosity and willingness to experiment. The people who developed NLP were curious to learn how successful

communicators got their results. They "modelled" these people's

behaviour, copying it and learning how it worked. The techniques of NLP are the result of this process. NLP values Choice. In NLP, leading is always aimed at giving more flexibility and choice, not at taking away "bad"

choices. In other models of change, often the aim is to remove "bad" behaviour eg:

In NLP the aim is to give the person so much better choices, that they no longer use the old behaviour eg:

Person with "bad" behaviour Person with expanded choices Person with few choices Person without "problem" Other approaches NLP

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A Simplified Publishing History of NLP 1975-1992

Linguistics P. Watzlawick

A. Korzybski N. Chomsky

Gestalt

―The Structure of Magic‖ Vol 1: 1975. Vol 2: 1976. John Grinder and Richard Bandler

―Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton Erickson‖ Vol 1: 1975. Vol 2: 1977. John Grinder and Richard Bandler.

Family Systems Theory G. Bateson V. Satir Hypnosis Therapy F. Perls J.O. Stevens

―Changing with Families‖ 1976. Virginia Satir, John Grinder and Richard Bandler.

―Frogs Into Princes‖ 1979.

F.A. Mesmer J. Braid M. Erickson Richard Bandler and John

Grinder. ―Therapeutic Metaphors‖

1978. David Gordon

―Neuro Linguistic Programming Vol 1‖ Richard

―They Lived Happily Ever After‖ 1978. Leslie Bandler, John Grinder, Robert

Dilts and Judith Delozier. 1980

Cameron-Bandler. (Retitled ―Solutions‖)

TOTE ―Tranceformations‖ Richard Model

G. Miller

Bandler and John Grinder. 1981

Classical E. Galanter

K. Pribram

―Reframing‖ 1982 Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

Conditioning I. Pavlov



Several Other Books on NLP coming out by this time.

The Founders Split.

―Influencing with Integrity‖ ―Roots of NLP‖ and

1984. Genie Laborde ―Applications of NLP‖

1983. Robert Dilts ―Master Teaching

Techniques‖ 1984. Bernard ―The Emprint Method‖,

Cleveland ―Know How‖, and ―The

Emotional Hostage‖ 1985 ―Magic in Action‖ 1985 ―Unlimited Power‖ Leslie Cameron-Bandler Richard Bandler. 1986. Anthony and Michael Lebeau ―Use Your Brain For A Robbins

Change‖ 1985 Richard ―Turtles All The Way

Bandler. ―Time Line Down‖. 1987 John Grinder

―Change Your Mind and Therapy and the and Judith Delozier Keep The Change‖ 1986 Basis of Personality

Steve and Connirae Andreas 1988. Tad James ―Introducing Neuro- ―An Insider‘s Guide to and Wyatt Linguistic Programming‖ Submodalities‖ 1988. Woodsmall. 1990. Joseph O‘Connor

Richard Bandler and Will and John Seymour

Macdonald

―Heart of the Mind‖ 1990 Connirae and Steve Andreas

―Communicating Caring‖ 1992. Richard Bolstad and Margot Hamblett, republished as ―Transforming Communication‖ 1998

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N. L. P. is...

1. an Attitude (of curiosity & wanton experimentation),

and...

2. a Methodology (of Modelling), that leaves behind



In education, modelling means finding out how excellent learners achieve their results, and teaching students how to use their strategies. Also studying excellent teachers and learning the structure of their teaching.



In counselling, modelling means identifying how your client achieves success in the areas of life that they do (how did they resolve past problems for example) and showing them how to do that again.





In personal development, modelling means identifying people who succeed in the way that you‘d like to succeed, and studying how they do it. These may be people who‘ve solved a similar problem to yours, or people who‘ve already reached a goal of yours, or are living a mission similar to yours.





In business, modelling involves identifying how excellent salespeople, negotiators and managers have achieved their success, and applying their skills. In the health professions, modelling

means identifying how exceptional clients/patients heal and stay healthy, and supporting others to

achieve the same success.

3. a Trail of Techniques

4. Neuro

Linguistic

(a)

(b)

(c)

(d)

(e)

(f)

Programming

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Five Keys To Success.

1. Know your outcome.

2. Take action.

3. Have sensory acuity.

4. Have behavioural flexibility.

5. Operate from a Physiology & Psychology of

Excellence.



Teachers frequently set outcomes for students, and use their sensory acuity to assess the students, but it‘s the students‘ outcomes which are the motivators. Teachers need to help students set their own outcomes.



Research shows that simply getting clients to set clear outcomes and measure their success will resolve 75% of clients problems in 6 sessions (Steve de Shazer, Solution Focused Therapy).



Use the exercises over the first days of this course to learn about your own ability to apply these principles. Identify clear outcomes for the course, and actually check that you are achieving them. Check that you are learning how to apply these skills in your actual life.





Some business people set great goals but lack the sensory acuity to know how they come across, or the flexibility to change. Using all five principles is crucial for business success.

In the health professions, as in counselling, goals need to be set by the clients to be successful. Outcome focus means being interested in health rather than cure.

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Setting A “Well-formed” Outcome (SPECIFY)

1. Sensory Specific

(a) ―Put yourself in the situation of having it. Step into your body at that time. What do you see, what do you hear, what do you feel when you have it?‖ = As If Frame (b) ―What date do you intend to have this outcome by?‖

2. Positive Language

This question need only be asked if the person says ―I DON‘T want…‖ or ―I want it NOT to be like…‖ at any time. In that case, ask: ―If you don‘t have that [ie the thing they don‘t want], what is it that you will have instead?‖ = Goal or Outcome Frame 3. Ecological

(a) ―What will you gain if you have this outcome?‖ ―What will you lose if you have this outcome?‖ (If there are things they will lose and which they would regret losing, ask ―How can you create new ways to get what is important to you AND reach this goal?‖) = Ecology Frame

(b) If the person has low motivation to reach the outcome so far, you may ask ―What will you lose if you don‘t get this outcome?‖ = Contrast Frame

(c) ―Whatspecific life situations do you want this outcome to affect?‖ ―Are there any situations do you not want it to affect?‖

4. Choice Increases

―How can this outcome increase your life choices?‖ 5. Initiated By Self

―What do you personally need to do to achieve this?‖ = Relevancy Frame 6. First Step Identified

―What is a first small step which you could take in the next 24 hours?‖ 7. Your Resources Identified

―What resources do you have to achieve this outcome?‖

―What previous experiences of success can help you create the state of mind you want to achieve this outcome now?‖

―Who can you tell about this frame, to be a support person as you take action?‖ (Resources include external resources such as time, money, and people to support you. Even more importantly, they include internal resources such as the feeling of confidence from past experiences where you achieved goals which had a similar challenge. Internal resources can be ―anchored‖)

Final check. ―What have we covered so far?‖ = Backtrack Frame

My Goal:_______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________

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Six Useful Frames REBAG-C

1. Relevancy:

“Is this relevant to the task?”



This frame is crucial to successful business deals, and meetings. It need not always be stated in this form; at times a glance at the clock will do. But as an internal question it is vital!

2. Ecology:

“What consequences does this have?”



Getting healthy involves thorough checking of the ecology frame. Dr Bernie Siegel describes surgery as ―cutting out the vocal cords of the unconscious mind‖ -a graphic way to remind us that people are often unwell for a reason. Getting well may require them to give up certain advantages of their situation, or confront issues. Check carefully.

3. Backtrack:

“What have we covered so far?”

4. As if:

“What would it be like if this were true?”



The Solution Focused Approach (closely allied to NLP in its Ericksonian origin) calls this the miracle question. ―What would it be like if a miracle happened and you have your outcome now?‖ Just discussing this causes the person to access resources they didn‘t expect.

5. Goal (outcome)

“What is your outcome for this?”

6. Contrast

“What if the opposite was true?”



Contrast frames can help clarify an outcome and are important if the person being guided uses ―away-from‖ motivation (avoiding what they don‘t want, rather than working ―towards‖ what they do want). In such cases, you could ask ―What would happen if you didn‘t get this solved?‖.

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Distinguishing Outcomes

From Values, Problems, Affirmations And Directions

Timelessness

Past Present Future

Check your understanding

Which one is an outcome?

 I want to be happier in my relationship  I want love

 I want to stop feeling depressed about my relationship  I am a happy, loving person

 By January 4th I will enjoy a ten minute conversation with my partner every day Problem. Past

Orientation. ―I don‘t want to feel nervous at my work any more.‖

Affirmation. Present Orientation. ―I have

the capability to be relaxed.‖

Direction. Future Orientation. Unmeasured ―I want to feel more relaxed at work.‖ Value. Timeless Orientation. ―I want relaxation.‖

Outcome. Specific Future Event Orientation. ―By November 30th I want to have my pulse below 90 beats per minute during all conversations with my boss.‖

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Sixteen Presuppositions of N.L.P.

The effective use of NLP is based on two assumptions:

1. The Map is Not The Territory

- Each person has their own “map” of the world. - No map is more “real” than any other.

- Whatever you intended, the important thing to understand about your communication is what response it gets from the other person, due to their map of the world.

- “Resistance” is only a lack of rapport with another person‟s map. - Maps which have more choices are more useful.

- People make the best choices available within their maps of the world.

- People have all the resources they need to succeed.

- Change is a result of enriching a person‟s maps so they can have more choices and use more of their own resources.

2. Life and Mind Are Systems

- The processes inside a person, and between a person and their environment, are systemic (linked together in one system). - Mind and body are one system.

- All changes can only be evaluated in terms of the “ecology” of the whole system.

- All results (whether what you wanted or not) are feedback for the system.

- Behaviours give the most useful information about a system. - A system (eg a person) is more than the system‟s behaviours. -All behaviours have an original intention appropriate for the

system at that time.

-The subsystem with the most flexibility controls the system. (this is called the Law of Requisite Variety)

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An N.L.P. Model of Facilitating Change

(RESOLVE)

1. Resourceful state for practitioner

-self anchoring

2. Establish rapport (pacing)

-sensory acuity -rapport skills -sensory system use -Milton model

-use of similar metaphors

3. Sort & SPECIFY outcome. “How would you know if this was solved?” -metamodel

-challenge presuppositions -set wellformed outcome

4. Open up client‟s model of the world

-pretest. “Can you do it now?” -elicit their current strategy

-pattern interrupt (interrupt the strategy) -logical levels of therapy

-content/context reframes

5. Leading to desired outcome (change techniques)

-anchoring techniques -submodalities techniques -strategy installation

-other specific change techniques for context

6. Verify change -test. “Can you do it now”“That‟s right, it‟s changed."

7. Exit process -check ecology -futurepace

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Goals For My Life

(eg Career, Relationships, Health, Learning, Spirituality)

_______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________

Goals To Use Processes On, At Training

Goal

___________________________________________________

Rating 1-10

(1 = Trivial Issues, and 10 = Major)

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Curriculum NLP-Practitioner IANLP

Duration of training

A minimum of 130 hours of live training, including testing is required. Training must be spread over a period of 18 days or longer. Breaks exceeding 30 minutes that are taken in the course of the daily training can not be counted towards the fulfillment of the 130 training hours. In addition, individual out of school training of at least 10 full hours of training is required. Recommended Supervision: 15 hours individual- or group-supervision within the training and/or after the testing. Eighty percent (80%) of the live training has to be led by a fellow member trainer; 20% of the live training can be led by any other qualified person under the supervision of a fellow member trainer. Starting with 15 participants, for each 15 additional participants training has to include an assistant with at least NLP- Practitioner level training.

Qualification of Trainers

Fellow member trainers according to IANLP Standards

Abilities of NLP-Practitioner and Criteria for Evaluation and Certification Knowledge and behavioral integration of the main presuppositions of NLP

Knowledge of basic skills, abilities, techniques, patterns, methods and concepts of NLP; Personal ability to utilize them competently with self and with others.

Basic abilities of the NLP-Practitioner shall be:

 Rapport, establishment and maintenance of;

 Pacing and Leading (verbal and non-verbal);

 Outcome orientation with respect for others models of the world and the ecology of the system; Calibration (sensory experience);

 Representational systems (predicates and accessing cues);

 Demonstration of behavioral flexibility;

 Resource-orientation and ecology of interventions. Minimal contents

1) Rapport, establishment and maintenance of; 2) Pacing and Leading (verbal and non-verbal); 3) Calibration (sensory experience);

4) Representational systems (predicates and accessing cues); 5) Meta-Model of language;

6) Milton-Model of language;

7) Outcome orientation with respect for others models of the world and the ecology of the system;

8) Elicitation of well-formed, ecological outcomes and structures of present state (problem elicitation);

9) Overlap and Translation of representational systems; 10) Metaphor creation.

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12) Anchoring (VAK) and Anchoring Techniques (contextualized to the field of application). 13) Feedback: giving and receiving sensory specific feedback

14) Ability to shift consciousness to external or internal, as required by the moment s task. 15) Dissociation and Association; 1st, 2nd, 3rd-Position

16) Submodalities. 17) Logical levels (Bateson, Dilts)

18) Outcome oriented accessing and utilizing of resources; 19) Reframing

20) Strategies; detection, elicitation, utilization and installation. 21) Timeline

The various techniques (Swish. Collapse Anchor etc), are working examples of the content listed above and are therefore not explicitly mentioned.

Written test for NLP-Practitioners

The required written test shall be a summary of the minimal contents and is a means to ensure a high level of quality. This test shall demonstrate the integration and knowledge of the following contents:

1) NLP-Presuppositions 7) Milton-Model of language 2) Outcome work 8) Timeline

3) Rapport 9) Strategies 4) Anchoring 10) Submodalities 5) Representational systems 11) NLP-Techniques 6) Meta-Model of language 12) Ecology

The written testing Is to be designed by the fellow member trainer and is expected to match his/her training emphasis. Written tests are to be stored for at least three years following testing. For reasons of quality insurance IANLP (or personnel entrusted by IANLP) has the right to request submission of whole or parts of this documentation.

Practical testing for NLP-Practitioner

There shall be a practical testing period at the end of NLP-Practitioner training. The fellow member trainer is free to design this practical testing to demonstrate the fulfillment of the criteria required for certification. The practical testing shall enable participants to

demonstrate their personal integration of NLP-presuppositions and chosen NLP-techniques. namely: well-formed outcome and problem-elicitation; rapport, sensory awareness, flexibility and sensory specific feedback.

Contents of NLP-Practitioner Certificate

NLP-Practitioner certificates have to include the following:

1) a statement that this training was held according to IANLP standards 2) an original seal of IANLP (sticker)

3) a statement describing the duration of the training in days and hours 4) date of the first and last day of training

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NLP-Master Level Training IANLP

Qualification of Trainers Fellow Member Trainers according to IANLP Standards Abilities of NLP- Master and Criteria for Evaluation and Certification

Behavioral competence of all practitioner level skills, used both individually and in combination

Behavioral integration of the presuppositions of NLP

Knowledge of basic skills, abilities, techniques, patterns, methods and concepts of NLP; Personal ability to utilize them competently with self and others.

Design individual interventions (generative and remedial) Ongoing development of personal sensory accuracy Ecological change work with self and others

Ability to shift focus from between content and form, and between experience and label Advanced rapport abilities (build and maintain rapport to each individual in the training

group)

Demonstration of the ability to identify the following basic skills, techniques, patterns and concepts of NLP and to utilize these competently with self and with others.

Minimal contents

1) Techniques of change interventions for personal growth in business and personal context 2) Metaprogram sorts

3) Values and Criteria

a) identification and utilization b) criteria ladder

c) elicitation of complex equivalence d) adjustment of criteria

4) Sleight of mouth patterns 5) Refined use of submodalities

6) Utilization and transformation of beliefs and presuppositions 7) Advanced Milton-model and Meta-model work

8) Deliberate multilevel communication

9) Models for negotiation and conflict management 10) Modeling, modeling project work

11) Systemic work (groups, family, team) 12) Advanced timeline work

13) Integrative NLP-models i.e. SCORE, SOAR, ROLE

The various advanced NLP-techniques, i.e. Re-imprinting, Visual Squash, Core

Transformation Process and more, are working examples of the content listed above and are therefore not explicitly described. The above contents shall be conveyed by theoretical lectures, practical demonstrations and group exercises. NLP-Masters are expected to

demonstrate openness to experience the various processes by adopting the three roles that are typically encountered in the everyday work: that of an observer providing feedback, that of a growth experience seeking client, and that of a coach leading an individual.

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Written test for NLP-Masters

The required written test shall be a summary of the minimal contents and aims at ensuring a high level of quality. This test shall demonstrate the integration and knowledge of the following contents:

1) Values and Beliefs (Logical levels) 2) Systemic work (groups, teams) 3) Sleight of mouth patterns 4) Modeling

5) Metaprograms 6) Timeline

The written testing is to be designed by the fellow member trainer and is expected to match his/her training emphasis. Written tests are to be stored for at least three years following testing. For reasons of quality insurance IANLP (or personnel entrusted by IANLP) reserves the right to review this documentation.

Practical testing for NLP-Master

There shall be a practical testing period at the end of NLP-Master training. The fellow member trainer is free to design this practical testing which demonstrates the fulfilment of the criteria required for certification. The practical testing shall enable participants to demonstrate their personal integration of NLP-presuppositions and chosen NLP-techniques, namely: Sensory awareness, Rapport, Ecological change work with self and others.

Contents of NLP- Master Certificate

NLP-Master certificates have to include the following:

1) a statement that this training was held according to IANLP standards 2) an original seal of IANLP (sticker)

3) a statement describing the duration of the training in days and hours 4) date of the first and last day of training

5) Name and signature of fellow member trainer IANLP 6) Title: NLP-Master IANLP

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Rapport

and

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Sensory Acuity (Calibration)

VEGES

1. Voice

-speed -volume -tone -timbre -rhythm -words used

2. Eyes

-movements -pupil dilation

3. Gestures and General Posture.

4. Expiration/Inspiration

-rate of breathing -amount of breathing -pauses -location in body

5. Skin

-colour -muscle tone

-size of areas (e.g. lips) -shiny?

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Mirroring

When my colleagues and I analysed the seemingly magical therapeutic interactions achieved by such wizards as Virgina Satir and Milton Erickson, we discovered certain common behavioural patterns. One of these patterns is mirroring. Mirroring is the process of offering back to the client portions of their own nonverbal behaviour - just as a mirror does. Mirroring is a way to imitate the high context messages the client is giving without attaching meaning for the client.

You are already familiar with macro types of mirroring in your ongoing experience. An example of mirroring on this scale is behaving suitably - like not swearing in church or in front of Aunt Milly, whereas you might swear when with a peer group, knowing it will make some of your friends more comfortable with you. Another example of mirroring on this scale is dressing appropriately for a particular occasion. As a more refined example, we tend to match our table manners and body postures to the level of formality we perceive to be congruent with the place and people with whom we are dining. Mirroring on its various levels is the behavioural equivalent of agreeing with someone verbally.

To mirror effectively you must be able to make refined visual and auditory distinctions regarding your own, as well as your client‘s, behaviour. The portions of your client‘s behaviour that are worthwhile mirroring include body postures, specific gestures, breathing rhythms, facial expressions, and voice tone, tempo, and intonation patterns. Matching some or all of these will assist you in achieving a harmonious interaction. In fact, by mirroring it is possible to disagree with the content portion of a person‘s communication (what they are saying) and remain in complete rapport.

To begin learning how to mirror, take the time to watch other people interact. Watch children playing; observe in restaurants, meetings, and cocktail parties. Anytime you are near people who are interacting, notice how much mirroring is going on. Also, notice the quality of interaction that occurs when mirroring is absent.

After a short period of time in an observer‘s position, you will know that people instinctively mirror each other. You can now begin to do so deliberately to achieve specific outcomes. Start by mirroring just one aspect of another person‘s behaviour while talking to them. When this is easy, add another discreet piece - like their voice tempo - and another, and then

another, until you are mirroring without thinking about it, but you can consistently observe it in your behaviour in retrospect.

The more you practice, the more aware you will become of the rhythms that you and others generate with gestures and breathing patterns, and in voice tones, tempo, and intonation patterns. Be sure to notice the degree to which couples are out of sync when they are miscommunicating, in contrast to how they are in sync when doing well with one another. The difference in degree to which a couple is mirroring before and after you work with them is an important indicator of change.

Many therapists think that mirroring is the same as mimicking, and they are reluctant to mirror because they are afraid they will offend their clients. We have very strong cultural restraints with regard to mimicking others. These cultural restraints are so strong that this

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tremendous means of learning is often denied us from a young age. ―Don‘t be a copycat!‖ we are chided. If we detect someone mimicking us we feel that they are likely to be making fun of us and we often are offended. However, mirroring is not mimicry. Mimicry is usually characterised by some exaggeration of a behavioural feature. Mirroring is the subtle,

behavioural reflection of those meaningful, unconscious communications each of us offers to the attentive receiver.

Though mirroring might feel awkward to the novice, its value in achieving and maintaining rapport makes it worth doing whatever is necessary to become skilled. It requires effort to learn how to mirror effectively: You need to tune your perceptions to portions of your own and other‘s behaviour of which you were previously unaware.

From Solutions by Leslie Cameron-Bandler, Futurepace, 1985.

Perceptual Positions

-From John Grinder-

The 3 original perceptual positions are:

First Position: Seeing through own eyes, speaking from own vocal cords (using words like "I" to refer to self), feeling only your own feelings, hearing through your own ears.

Second position: Seeing through the other person's eyes, hearing through their ears, and feeling their feelings. Rapport enhances your ability to use this position especially.

Third position: Observer position; ideally equal distance from and at same level as self and other, feelings neutral or compassionate for each. Refering to each person as Her/Him. NLP co-developer John Grinder points out that in an interaction between myself as the teacher, and a student, I can consider the interaction in three ways.

1) I can stay ―in my own body‖, listening through my own ears and looking through my own eyes. This is called First Perceptual Position. It gives me useful information about my own opinions and choices. As a teacher, if I just ―go with my students‘ ideas‖ then I become unassertive, and I am unable to convey the understandings that I have. I need to be able to use First Position because often I have important information that my students do not.

2) I can, in my imagination, step into the other person‘s body, and listen through their ears, and look through their eyes. This Second Perceptual Position gives me more

information about the effects of my actions on the student. It also gives me a sense of where they are coming from. If I only used First Position, I would not notice whether they understood me; I‘d be preoccupied with my own fascination with the subject. As a

teacher, Second Position helps me to know how to effectively explain things so that they make sense to this particular student, with their current level of knowledge.

3) I can, in my imagination, step out of my body to a neutral spot, separate from both the student and myself. This Third Perceptual Position gives me valuable information about the system of interaction between the student and myself. I don‘t get caught up in conflicts or misunderstandings so easily here. As a teacher, I can monitor our

relationship, the class ―climate‖ and the consequences of my actions more objectively from here.

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Dimensions of Rapport

VEGES

1. Voice

-speed -volume -tone -timbre -rhythm -predicate words -key metaphors used

2. Eyes

-movements

-blink

3. Gestures and General Posture.

4. Expiration/Inspiration

-rate of breathing -type of breathing

5. Skin

-facial expression

-pulse rate

Indicators Of Rapport

FLOW

1. Feeling of oneness.

2. Leading occurs.

3. Observable colour change in skin.

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Building Rapport: Options

1. Simultaneous Sequential

match action as the person does it. (eg body posture)

vs match action after they do it . (eg speech, gestures)

2. Direct Crossover

match behaviour with the same behaviour of yours.

(eg breathe in time with them)

vs match behaviour with a different behaviour of yours (eg your foot moves in time to their breathing). Use when direct matching is unsafe for your body (eg asthma)

3. Matching Mirroring

Same position as the other person (eg both cross right leg over left). Less intense; makes you seem “similar” so they can decide separate from you, eg in sales to avoid buyers remorse; at decision points in counselling.

vs Mirror image position (eg your left leg crossed over right; their right leg crossed over left). More intense; makes you seem like a “reflection” of their own experience.

4. Individual Group

match/mirror/pace one person vs a) Match the rapport leader (the person others unconsciously copy). d) Build rapport with previous group leaders who had rapport. c) ask the group to do something , and do it with them.

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Eye Accessing Cues

While most people lump all of their internal information processing together and call it “thinking,” Bandler and Grinder have noted that it can be very useful to divide thinking into the different sensory modalities in which it occurs. When we process information internally, we can do it visually, auditorily, kinesthetically, olfactorily, or gustatorily. As you read the word “circus,” you may know what it means by seeing images of circus rings, elephants, or trapeze artists; by hearing carnival music; by feeling excited; or by smelling and tasting popcorn or cotton candy. It is possible to access the meaning of a word in any one, or any combination, of the five sensory channels.

Right side Left side

[Write cues on diagram here]

Bandler and Grinder have observed that people move their eyes in systematic directions, depending upon the kind of thinking they are doing. These movements are called eye accessing cues. The chart (above) indicates the kind of processing most people do when moving their eyes in a particular direction. A small percentage of individuals are “reversed,” that is, they move their eyes in a mirror image of this chart. Eye accessing cues are discussed in chapter 1 of Frogs into Princes, and an in-depth discussion of how this information can be used appears in Neuro-Linguistics Programming, Volume 1.

This chart is easiest to use if you simply superimpose it over someone‟s face, so that as you see her looking in a particular direction you can also visualise the label for that eye accessing-cue.

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Vr

Visual remembered: seeing of things seen before, in the way they were seen before. Sample questions that usually elicit this kind of processing include: “How many panes of glass are there in the windows in the main room of your apartment/house?” “What does your coat look like?”

Vc

Visual constructed: seeing images of things never seen before, or seeing things differently that they were seen before. Questions that usually elicit this kind of processing include: “What would an orange hippopotamus with purple spots look like?” “What would you look like from the other side of the room?”

Ar

Auditory remembered: remembering sounds heard before.

Questions that usually elicit this kind of processing include: “What is the last thing I said before this sentence?” “Which door in your house/apartment makes the most noise when it opens?” “What does your alarm clock sound like?”

Ac

Auditory constructed: hearing sounds not heard before. Questions that tend to elicit this kind of process include: “What would it sound like if a parrokeet was singing your favourite song?” “What would your name sound like backwards?”

Ad

Auditory digital: talking to oneself. Questions that tend to elicit this kind of processing include: “Say something to yourself that you often say to yourself.” “If you were going to give a talk about NLP, what would your first sentence be?” “Recite the rhyme that begins “Thirty days has September….” [or any similar memory prompting saying]

K

Kinesthetic: feeling emotions, tactile sensations (sense of touch), or proprioceptive feelings (feelings of muscle movement). Questions to elicit this kind of processing include: “Where in your body do you feel it when you are happy?” “What is the feeling of touching a pine cone like?” “What is the softest floor covering you have ever walked on?”

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Predicates (words the person uses to describe their subject) Sorted by Sensory System

Unspecified (Ad) Visual Auditory Kinesthetic

attitude view/perspective opinion/comment position/stance

consider look over sound out feel out

persevere see through hear out carry through

demonstrate show/illustrate explain walk through

emit radiate/sparkle resonate vibrate/pulsate

absent blank silent numb

plain lacklustre/dull muted dull

ostentatious flashy/showy loud/screaming striking

attend to look after listen in on care for/support

ignore overlook tune out pass over/let slide

display show off sound off put on parade

understand get the picture tune in/click in to catch on/grasp identify point out call attention to put the finger on

conceive imagine call up get a hold of

fully perceive get an eyeful get an earful get a handful/gutful remind one of look familiar ring a bell strike as familiar

reconsider review/reflect repeat/recall rerun

teach illuminate instruct lead through

refer to point out/focus on allude/call attention to touch on/contact attend to look at/focus on tune into get a feel for

insensitive blind deaf unfeeling

imitate reflect/mirror echo/play back bounce off/pace

equalised symmetry harmony balance

perceive/think see hear feel

intensity brightness volume pressure

motivate add sparkle/flash up tune up move/get into gear decide see the options hear the options weigh the options

unperceptive blind deaf numb

require awareness make someone see convince hammer home innovative state of the art last word up with the play can be perceived clear –as day/crystal clear –as a bell solid/concrete energy frequency blue/violetred highlow pitch hotcold significance bigsmall long lastingbrief heavylight

meet with see talk to touch base with

considering that.. in the light of… _{on that theme…} bearing in mind… suggestions of glimmers of undertones of touches of

she has ability she has vision …the gift of the gab she has guts representation image/symbol/map figure of speech/metaphor _{model/structure}

influence indirectly give the wink put a word in pull some strings

attend to… look at… listen to… get a load of…

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Utilising Sensory Preference

Visual

Auditory

Kinesthetic

Auditory Digital

They memorise by seeing pictures, & are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble

remembering verbal instructions & are bored by long verbal instructions because their mind tends to wander. They are interested by how the program looks.

They typically are easily distracted by noise. They can repeat things back to you easily, learn by listening, like music, & like to talk on the phone. Tone of voice & the words used are important.

They often talk very slowly & breathy. They respond to physical rewards, & touching. They memorise by doing or walking through something. They will be interested in a programme that “fells right” or gives them a “gut

feeling”.

This person spends a fair amount of time talking to themselves. They memorise by steps, procedures,

sequences. They will want to know if your programme “makes sense‟. They can also exhibit characteristics of the other major representational systems.

Using Sensory Preference in Education

In a teaching setting, it will be useful to have the flexibility to teach to all four sensory systems. This will involve using each language, as well as using processes that presuppose each sense (eg using the whiteboard = visual, discussion = auditory digital, music in the background = auditory, and activities involving movement = kinesthetic. ) This is similar to the model developed by Howard Gardener of seven intelligences. For certain tasks, though, certain senses may be more successful for learners (see Strategies later) and you may need to pace a student‘s main strategy and lead to the most effective.

Using Sensory Preference in Negotiation or Sales

If I could SHOW

you an

ATTRACTIVE way in which you could (potential benefit or their values), you would at least want to LOOK at it, wouldn‟t you? If this LOOKS GOOD to you, we will go ahead and FOCUS on it.

If I could TELL YOU a way in which you could (potential benefit or their values), you would at least want to HEAR about it, wouldn‟t you? If this SOUNDS GOOD to you, we will go ahead and DISCUSS it.

If I could help you GET HOLD OF a CONCRETE way in which you could (potential benefit or their values), you would at least want to GET A FEEL for it, wouldn‟t you? If this FEELS GOOD to you, we will go ahead and HANDLE it.

If I could EXPLAIN to you a SPECIFIC way in which you could (potential benefit or their values), you would at least want to CONSIDER it, wouldn‟t you? If this HAS

INTEREST for you, we‟ll go ahead and THINK IT

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Sensory System Accessing Cues

VEGES

VISUAL AUDITORY KINESTHETIC

1. VOICE *High tone,

fast voice.

*If using this system as a representa-tional system, will talk about how things look. *Rhythmic, resonant voice. May be melodious (At) or monotone (Ad). Medium tone. *If using this system

as a representa-tional system, will talk about how things sound

*Low tone, slow voice with pauses & sighs.

*If using this system as a representa-tional system, will talk about how things feel.

2. EYES *Move up to right

or left.

*Move across level to right or left, & down left (for usual right handed system).

*Move down right -for usual right handed system of brain organisation 3. GESTURE / POSTURE *Rub eyes/forehead. *Gestures upwards. *Raise eyebrows. *Forward lean. *Often thin body.

*Touch mouth/chin. *Gesture by ears. *Head tilted. *Arms folded. *Often larger chest.

*Touch body more. *Gesture down.

*Often plump body.

4. EXPIRATION / INSPIRATION *High in chest, fast breathing. *Breathing regularly from mid-chest. *Breathing from bottom of lungs (tummy moves with breathing from diaphragm)

5. SKIN *Paler or even

grey; tight. *Medium colour and tension. *Flushed, more coloured; relaxed.

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Sensory System Use

Representational System:

-The system the person is conscious of. Their way of representing the world to themselves.

-Assessed from the predicate words they use.

Accessing System:

-The system a person is accessing their information from

-Assessed from the accessing cues, especially the eye movements

When Accessing & Representational System Are The Same:

-The person will be conscious of the source of their experiences.

-The person has control over their response to the accessed experience.

When Accessing & Representational System Differ:

-The accessing system is not the system the person is conscious of, so the information they access is unconscious.

-The person has no control over their response to the accessing system until it is made conscious (e.g. “What do you see when you get that feeling?”)

Lead System:

-The first system a person accesses.

-The system the person uses as a main file to search in for information from any system. A system they access before doing the specific task required.

-Assessed from the accessing cues, especially eye movements they use initially.

To find a person‟s lead system: a. Get in rapport.

b. While watching their eye movements carefully,

c. Ask them “Think of a [context]. What are you aware of first. Is it something you see, hear, feel, say to yourself, smell or taste?” For contexts, use a supermarket, a beach, a circus, a forest, or any context where there are all senses available. d. Take into account both what they say and where their eyes

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Verbal Pacing

Combining Reflective Listening with

Matching Representational Systems.

Directions:

Read each statement and identify the main representational system (visual, auditory or kinesthetic) used. Write a restatement of that sentence which you could say back to the person to check your understanding. Use the same representational system (assume examples are either visual, auditory or kinesthetic). For example:

Statement: I can‟t see the light at the end of this tunnel. Main System used: Visual

Reflective listening: It looks pretty gloomy to you.

1. I‟ve been ploughing through this for ages now, and I feel as if I‟ve just run out of steam. There‟s no way forward from here.

Main System used: ___________________________________________

Reflective Listening: _____________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

2. Well, I tell myself we should be able to talk this out, but as soon as I try we just end up in discord.

Main System used: ___________________________________________

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3. What you said just then really clicked with something in me. Up until then I couldn‟t tune in to this stuff, but I think I‟m getting the message.

Main System used: ___________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

4. Now I see what you mean! I couldn‟t really picture what you meant until now. That throws a lot more light on it.

Main System used: ___________________________________________

Reflective Listening _____________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

5. It‟s funny, I‟ve been trying to grasp the point of this and just

couldn‟t quite get a hold on it. But after that last chunk I really felt on board.

Main System used: __________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

6. Frankly, her and I just don‟t see eye to eye. She‟s so black and white about everything, and to me she seems to have lost sight of the

possibilities for compromise.

Main System used: __________________________________________

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Love Strategy

1. Think of a time that is comfortable to think of now, when you really felt totally loved, or if those words don't fit, a time when you felt highly valued by someone. Take the time to fully remember a specific time, a specific moment when you felt that way. If you haven't found one easily in 5 minutes, invent a memory (it will work perfectly anyway).

2. As you remember that time seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard, feeling physically your body at that time check:

In order for you to feel loved or valued in that way, is it absolutely necessary for a person to

a) Show you they love you (look at you with a certain look, buy you certain things, take you certain places)?

b) Tell you they love you in a certain tone of voice or with certain words?

c) Touch you in a certain way?

Which of these three things is absolutely necessary for you to feel loved? Which one is so important that even if the other two weren't happening, you'd feel loved just with that?

3. Usually feeling loved is a one step strategy. Some sight/sound/touch triggers the internal kinesthetic feeling of being loved. When you know this about yourself and your partner, you can ensure each of you is able to send the message when you need it most. To identify someone elses strategy, ask them the questions exactly as written here.



This is one of the most crucial ingredients in any relationship. Similar factors are the attraction recognition strategy (how do you know someone is attracted to you?), and the two reverse strategies (How do you fall in love yourself?, and how do you get attracted?). Couples, as well as friends and family members benefit immensely by knowing and being able to meet each others love strategies.