Section 3

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Important Notes

Bona-fide purchasers of this e-course may print one copy of this document for personal use. You can also read it as many times as you want on screen.

However, it is NOT legal to store, reproduce, forward, email, or transmit this publication or any part of it in any form or by any electronic, physical, or mechanical means including photocopying, recording, or introduction into any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the copyright owner and the publishers of this e-course.

What you CAN use - in fact we want you to use them – are brief quotations in reviews prepared for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.

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For Educational Purposes Only

We need to make a few boundaries perfectly clear before you dive into the secrets, tips and tricks that make up Tantric Sextasy. Bear with us before your Tantric sex exploration starts!

The material in this e-course is for educational purposes and is intended to provide helpful guidance to lovers about human sexuality. We’ve made every attempt to provide accurate, dependable, up-to-date information and we believe that what's presented here is helpful and poses no risk to any healthy person. This 5-part e-course is sold with the understanding that neither the authors nor the publishers are engaged in rendering medical, nor any other professional service. If you have questions concerning the application of the material and advice described in this e-course and its affect on your health and well-being, it is your responsibility to consult a qualified professional first.

Any use of the techniques used in this e-course is at your own risk.

This e-course is not intended to serve as medical treatment, psychological counseling, psychotherapy, or any other services best performed by a health professional. No part of this e-course should be used as a means of self-treatment or as a viable substitute to or for medical evaluation by a physician. If you suspect you have a condition requiring such treatment, we encourage you to seek professional help before engaging in the practices included.

Absolutely no part of the program should cause pain or unusual symptoms. Should such arise during or after doing the practices within, the affected party is advised to seek medical evaluation to identify possible causes.

If you have knowledge of or a suspicion that you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease, you are urged to consult with a qualified health professional before engaging in any partner practices described in this e-course. Detailed guidelines about safer and smarter conscious sex are included at the end.

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The authors and publishers cannot be held responsible for any error, omission, professional disagreement, or outdated material in this e-course. The authors and publishers are not liable for any upsetting reaction, divorce, damage, injury, infection, fatal disease, or other adverse outcome as a result of applying the information or engaging in any activities suggested in this e-course.

Well, there it is. All the stuff we have to swear off due to the high levels of conflict in our modern world. Now that you've suffered through all this legal stuff, let the Tantric sexuality secrets that will change your lives forever unfold now!

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DAY 3 Private Session:

How to Achieve Tantric Intimacy…

Breath-to-Breath,

Skin-to-Skin, Body-to-Body,

Orgasm-to-Orgasm

When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.

- Anonymous

Chapter 5: Connect Your Hearts, Connect Your Sexual Energies

In this chapter, you’ll understand how to do the second stage of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual called Connecting Hearts. The goal of this chapter is for you to connect with your lover on all levels. You start by doing a Heart Salutation, which is a Tantric way of acknowledgment of the other’s being. This is then followed by numerous, step-by-step sexercises on how you can connect with each other's orgasmic energy before engaging in sexual penetration.

Chapter 6: Sexually Meditate Together

In this chapter, you’ll learn all about the third stage of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual, called Meditating Together. The objective of this chapter is for you to start mastering the Four Cornerstones of Supreme Bliss so that in later chapters you can incorporate them into your Tantric Lovemaking.

Experience how meditation can help you create the first cornerstone, presence, as well as the relaxation essential for supreme bliss; learn to use the second cornerstone, breath, as a spiritual tool for relaxation, meditation, and turn-on; and meet your chakras, your subtle energy centers, and start clearing and charging them, paving the way for the rumbling and thundering flow of orgasmic energy later on.

Today, you dig deeper and start to experience more body-wracking pleasures as you go through the Tantric sexercises so let’s not delay!

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Chapter 5: Connect Your Hearts, Connect

Your Sexual Energies

Connect Before You Go Deeper

In this chapter about the Tantric Sextasy Ritual's second stage, we'll show you how to come to Tantric Lovemaking from your heart. You'll do this by honoring yourself and your partner and then connecting energetically before getting sexual physically.

The various practices we suggest here are

quick and simple but meaningful. The non-verbal ones show you how to connect your energies at the beginning of a Spiritual Sex encounter. We'll suggest some juicy ways to focus on each other and merge with your eyes, breath, and skin -- along with words -- before turning each other on. To appreciate your physical connection to the max, you'll discover how to turn everyday intimacies like hugging and undressing into sensual rituals.

Though Tantric Sextasy in total is more about doing than talking, some communications are essential to deepen your intimacy and catapult your lovemaking to new levels. So you'll find some talking practices in this chapter. Because talking about sex isn't the most comfortable thing for most people, we urge you to take these communication exercises seriously and use them religiously. You have been using the Discussion Questions you've encountered in each chapter already, right?

The final practice in this chapter is based on the Partnering Questions, three vital issues that you'll want to clear verbally before engaging in the sacred pursuit of ecstasy. When you find your truth inside in response to these three questions and speak it, then you'll be exercising your divine power and taking responsibility

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for yourself. When you listen to and dialogue about your partner's answers, then you can form a Tantric partnership, one that's equal in all respects.

If you get more comfortable talking about intimate and sexual things before you make love, you'll enter a different kind of universe. When that kind of honesty is founded on a sacred reverence for your lover, Spiritual Sex can truly be transformational. That's the underlying intent of this stage, the Connecting Hearts stage, of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual.

Honor Your Lover

Spiritual Sex is sacred because the entire process is an act of honoring and treasuring both yourself and your partner. Because you are divine, a living aspect of All That Is, you deserve to be cherished all the time. Tantric Sextasy provides the opportunity with heavenly rewards on earth.

As you immerse yourself in the Tantric Attitude, you not only adore and salute your higher self, but you see your partner as a mirror, an extension of you, an extension of All That Is. In the last chapter, we described about balancing the yin and the yang, that each of us is a divine spark of creation.

We are all connected. We are all one. How could your partner be any less than you, or any more?

With focus and intention, your attentions are riveted on one another. She is transforming before your eyes into a beautiful Goddess of love. He is morphing into a God who is joining you in this delightful moment. When you look deeper than skin level, it is easy to see your godliness, your similarities, your beauty. The Heart Salutation

Above all else, the Tantric Sextasy Ritual is heart centered. You come together because of love and you share all sorts of love energies: spirit, mind, body, and heart. It's not a one-dimensional encounter with just words, feelings, or sex. The

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centerpiece, the central focus, of Spiritual Sex is your connection at your love center, your heart.

How can we always remember to salute this powerful life force?

In our Tantric Sextasy Ritual, we always include a namasté greeting, palms together over the heart with a bow. Namasté is the traditional East Indian greeting that means "The divine light within me honors the divine light within you." It is also used when parting. Sort of like "aloha" or "shalom". Namasté is not only an honoring of the person you're greeting; it's a mutual acknowledgment of the divine nature of who each of you is.

The Heart Salutation is our expanded Tantric version: a four-step namasté or spiritual greeting that uses eye-contact, breathing in unison, and connecting your subtle energies to salute the divine in each other.

The Heart Salutation is designed so that lovers honor one another as bookends around physically intimacy.

We do this before and after we make love, every time, or when we're doing other Tantric practices together. Though it just takes a moment and is silent, the intense eye contact creates an intimate connection that leads to exchanging heartfelt appreciation of each other. The energy that you visualize and summon opens your heart and primes your channels for more. Here's how you do a Heart Salutation.

PARTNER SEXERCISE: Do a Heart Salutation

Purpose

To learn how to share a Heart Salutation.

Description

Try this little greeting and closing gesture as a way of showing your respect for the divine life force of your partner.

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First, create a Tantric Sacred Space if you haven't already as described in the previous chapter.

1. Sit facing each other.

Sit cross-legged, or in full or half lotus, in front of each other as close as you can comfortably get. A little pillow or zafu (a firm Japanese meditation pillow) under your buttocks can make you much more comfortable if you're not a Yoga master. Comfort is always very important when you're accessing the subtle energies of Spiritual Sex. If the two of you prefer to sit in a chair, that's okay, too.

2. Eye contact.

Make and hold eye contact. 3. Hands down.

To begin, each of you places your palms together pointing down and touching the floor in front of you while maintaining eye contact. Imagine you are bringing energy into your hands from Mother Earth.

4. In-breath hands up.

Both of you simultaneously pull your hands up to your hearts, palms still together. Actually, it's your two thumbs that will be touching your chest. While you do this, take a deep slow breath through your mouth. As you inhale, visualize your hands drawing the energy of Mother Earth into your heart. You're still holding eye contact, right?

5. Out-breath lean forward.

Keeping your hands on your heart, slowly exhale through your mouth while leaning forward and touching foreheads with your lover. Visualize the energy swirling between you where you're connected. This is called a "third-eye kiss," referring to the sixth of the seven energy centers called chakras, the one in the center of the forehead. If you can maintain eye contact while you're so close during the third eye kiss, do so.

6. In-breath lean back.

As you take another deep breath slowly through your mouth, lean back to a sitting position, keeping your hands on your heart. At this point, you may prefer

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to close your eyes for a moment as you take your energy back into your own heart.

7. Out-breath relax.

On your second out-breath, move your hands back down to the floor in front of you as you open your eyes to your lover. Visualize energy being returned to Mother Earth.

8. Maintain eye contact.

Hold this position with gentle eye contact for a moment at least. If you feel the urge to smile, caress your lover's face, kiss, or share love sentiments that surface, enjoy it.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Heart Salutation

After doing the Heart Salutation, here are some questions to reflect on, write about in your Sexploration Journal, or talk about.

• How did you feel during the Heart Salutation?

• What did you notice about your attention after you created the Sacred Space and did the Heart Salutation?

• When would you like to use the Heart Salutation?

• What else do you think would make you feel safer, more loved, more adored, more blessed during sexual play?

Seal Your Heart Connection with a Kiss When we first fall in love, we can't keep our lips apart. We want to share our mouths and our breaths. Kissing is such a strong demonstration of how we feel that it's important to use it to reinforce your heart connection. We encourage you to kiss at any point in the Tantric Sextasy Ritual. Just after a Heart Salutation is a good place to start. By using the Tantric Attitude while you're kissing, you make it such a sensory delight. Taste each other

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deeply. Go slow, savor the softness, sink into the sensations. Show your honey how open you are to your love by opening your lips and feeling each other's tongues.

PARTNER SEXERCISE: Tantric Kissing

Purpose

To add a sweet sensuous kiss to your Heart Salutation. 1. Sit facing each other.

In your Tantric Sacred Space, sit in front of each other as close as you can comfortably get. Make and hold eye contact.

2. Heart Salutation. Do a Heart Salutation.

3. Up close and personal.

Move as close together as you can, intertwining your legs. Or one of you can sit on the other's lap. You can even stand if you prefer.

4. Touch lips.

Look deeply into each other's eyes. Wet and part your lips slightly. Ever so slowly move your faces closer until your lips just barely meet. Stay here for a moment and simply feel.

5. Glide.

Keeping your lips ever so soft, slowly and gently brush, slide, and glide them over your lover's.

6. Move.

As you're gently merging lips, move your head to different positions to see what unique feelings you can create. Put one hand behind your sweetie's neck, or one on each cheek.

7. Explore.

Slowly and gradually begin exploring each other's lips and mouths deeper with your tongues. Enjoy the feeling of your honey's tongue, lips, teeth, and deeper.

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8. Stoke your fire.

Keep this up as long as it's stoking your fire. 9. Cool down.

As your lips part, keep looking deeply into each other's eyes. If you feel like it, exchange sweet words of love, appreciation for each other, and which kisses you especially enjoyed.

Sexercise Afterthoughts

Kissing is a long-cherished art. Practice this sexercise to relive those early moments of your relationship when it seemed that just a single kiss from your loved one is enough to live on!

Appreciate Your Lover from the Heart

Women Love Words from the Heart

Punctuating everything you do together with a Heart Salutation reminds you of what really connects us all, love. It's often said that women get turned on in the heart first and the genitals later, whereas men are just the opposite. When men get turned on in the genitals, their energy moves to the heart.

Of course, there are always exceptions to generalizations like this. Yet, we believe that most women, most of the time, like to have their minds and hearts stimulated in the 24 to 48 hours before the actual "action". They like to know they're adored for more than their bodies. They like to be cherished from afar, and then closer and closer as you come together. They like to know about your physical desire as well as your delight in their presence.

The whole concept of respecting the Shakti in every woman goes a long way. When you honor the Goddess in your lover, her heart soars, she feels true love, and her sexual centers are more likely to open.

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Don't Wait for That Urge Between Your Legs

Don't wait until the urge hits you. Let her know how much you care for her, NOW. Tell her how much you think about her, how much you desire her, how much you treasure her love. A call or email from work is a powerful gesture. Let her know how much you're looking forward to your time alone with her. Nurture her heart long before you touch her.

Women respond very positively to words and touch that convey feelings of love and affection. Women seem to like words about love, sex, and relationship, and feel they're very important.

If you're a guy who feels uncomfortable with words, we humbly suggest that you practice, a lot. Nothing will get you more of what you want than being able to verbalize feelings of affection for your woman. Read an e-course or two and then write out what you want to say. Practice letting the words tumble over your tongue and lips. Now, do it with your partner.

Often men don't have feelings as strong as women about expressing emotions and verbalizing love. But everyone, in their own way, craves approval, appreciation, and affection. Women, guys like romantic attention as well. Of course, many often prefer that it's slightly more sexually oriented. Just don't forget that appreciation of the divine qualities in your lover goes both ways. Feeling and Expressing Gratitude

A great way to bring more appreciation into your lovemaking and your life is through gratitude. When you feel grateful for things, you're connecting with your divine inner being. When you're immersed in gratefulness, your heart unfolds. When you shower gratitude on your lover, your lover's heart opens.

Gratitude is a natural outgrowth of the Tantric Attitude, especially saying "Yes," experiencing the now fully, and accepting yourself completely. It starts with self-awareness, feeling good about yourself, and expressing it. Experiencing

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and showing genuine gratitude creates an uplifting, upward cycle of abundance, love, and joy.

Notice what you like about your life, your partner, your love. Appreciate what's good, what's better than it was, and what's going to be even better than now. What do you have that contributes to your quality of life? What do you do that you enjoy? What brings you pleasure?

When you're conscious instead of asleep, you have a choice of what you think about. When you choose to focus on the positive, you're being grateful. When you communicate gratitude, you uplift yourself and your lover. No, when you're doing gratitude, don't put your attention on what's not working. This is a major part of your Tantric spiritual discipline. When you want to emphasize the positive, keep shifting your attention to what is working.

Gratitude Can Transform Your Relationship

So many tensions spring up in relationships by comparing partners to our ingrained standards, deep-seated values, and hidden expectations. We often fuel these judgments with memories of others or romance fantasies, but your own beliefs are at the core.

Yet loving someone means giving them the space to be themselves, to be different, to be unique. It means granting them the right to their own being-ness. If you crammed them into little boxes in your head that spring from your parents, your culture, your unrealistic fantasies, you probably wouldn't feel the same about your love.

You can change all this with gratitude. Gratitude is one of the most powerful spiritual forces in the universe. Gratitude activates your life force, your spiritual power, your divine connection.

When you fervently desire something, appreciate the life force flowing through you that makes you who you are. Know that you're loved so much that you

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deserve everything you want and All That Is will help you get it. Be grateful that this is how God/Goddess operates. When something you want begins to come your way, show how grateful you are and then more will undoubtedly arrive soon. How to Use Gratitude

If, like most of us, you're familiar with the relationship dynamic of passing judgment and comparing, gratitude can help change it. Instead of judging, reacting, and criticizing… appreciate. Instead of focusing on what's missing, praise what's present. Accentuate the positive, downplay the negative.

How can you pivot your focus? Remember what drew you together, what chemistry you felt, why you fell in love. Notice what you like about your honey, what turns you on. Use your mind to answer questions like the following.

• Where do you fit well?

• What do you have in common?

• What does your sweetheart do that makes you feel good? • How does your honey contribute to your life?

• What does you lover do that makes your heart soar?

When some appreciation pops into your head, simply tell your lover. You'll be saying lovely things over and over in so many different ways.

Gratitude is the spiritual key to manifesting everything you want in life. It's a powerful activator of honoring your lover. Can it help your energetic connection during the Tantric Sextasy Ritual? Yes, of course, we'll get there soon. But first...

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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Gratitude

Here are some questions about this section to answer in your Sexploration Journal, reflect on, or talk about.

• What are you grateful for in life?

• How often do you feel and express gratitude? • What are you grateful for in your relationship?

• How do you think you can focus more on the positives in your relationship?

Sweet Everythings

Right after you've completed the Heart Salutation is the perfect moment to express gratitude for your love and revere one another. There you are staring at each other, close and connected. Well, OK, maybe you're busy kissing after the Heart Salutation. But

when you have a chance, it's a wonderful time to share heartfelt sentiments. This is an opportunity to say the lovely words you often don't take the time to say. You know, those deep truths about love that you may take for granted and the ones that you do say that your sweetie never tires of hearing. Here's a chance to further let your partner know how much you care about and appreciate your love and connection. One of the most important messages you want to get across is how honored you are to be with your lover.

Some call these "sweet nothings," but we think they're more valuable than that. So we call these little statements sweet everythings which are: statements of love, appreciation, and adoration that cherish your lover which are much more meaningful than sweet nothings because they're sincere acknowledgments, genuine compliments, and heartfelt gratitude.

Some examples of sweet everythings that revere your lover. • "I am so honored to be spending this time with you."

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• "I feel so fortunate to have you in my life."

• "We always have such a great time when we're together, I know this will be another great time."

• "You have the most beautiful eyes (lips, skin, hair, face, ears, etc.) I just melt when I look into (at) them."

• "I love the strength of your shoulders (jaw, legs, eyes, etc.)" • "You really turn me on, especially when you..."

• "I so appreciate your willingness to listen to me and share Tantra with me."

There's No Perfect Formula for Titillation

Be creative. Don't be shy with sweet everythings. There's no good way to learn to do this without practicing and risking your ego. Yes, you'll be making yourself vulnerable. Do it anyway. Is your love and cosmic ecstasy worth it? Of course it is. So learn how to show it. Verbal reverence can dramatically enhance the mood of intimacy and pleasure.

Remember, you probably weren't raised with total appreciation for your divine self. You may not have much of an internal mental model for this adoring thing. That's why we're giving you permission to experiment with being verbally expressive of your deep feelings of honor and gratefulness. And for being a bit awkward at first.

So, lovers, be super accepting of your partner's first attempts. Appreciate the intent to encourage more. Don't make fun if you're hoping for something better soon.

We think it's essential that you do sweet everythings your own way. Some Tantric couples start exchanging increasingly erotic verbal tidbits hours or even days before a big date. Some prefer protestations of love, others get off on talking dirty.

What would be your honey's reaction if you called from work and said "There's something in my pants with a hot/juicy/wet/hard message of love for you. Will

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you meet me in our bedroom at 7?" Would she prefer you to call with "My heart swells with love when I daydream about what we're going to share tonight"? You get the idea, right? Tailor your verbal foreplay to what floats your own and your baby's cork. This is just as true for woman-to-man communications.

The following exercise is a way to practice discovering what's true for you and what feels right. Even if it feels awkward and you break up in giggles, do it anyway. Laughing together is very good for relationships and sex. It relaxes you. Laughing together, which is much different from laughing at your sweetheart, is very intimate.

PARTNER SEXERCISE: Sweet Everythings

Purpose

To practice exchanging sweet everythings so it becomes easy and natural to verbally revere one another.

1. Prepare.

Think about or jot down some sweet everything statements in your journal. 2. Heart Salutation.

Do a Hearth Salutation as you just learned. 3. Hands on hearts.

Still cross-legged in front of one another, place your right hand on your partner's heart. Then both place your left hand on top of your partner's right hand as it covers your heart.

4. Exchange sweet everythings.

Looking into each other's eyes, say those sweet everythings. This doesn't have to be a speech unless you're so moved. At this stage you're aiming for a sentence, a couple of statements, or a short paragraph for a minute or two.

5. Feedback.

Talk for a few moments about how this felt. What you would like to say or hear more of? How you feel about doing more of this kind of revering each other?

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Connecting Sexual Energies

Sensuous Ways to Hook Up

Time for a brief check-in. You've read quite a few pages already in our Tantric Sextasy e-course to get the idea of a sacred sexual connection with your lover. Once you've set up your Tantric Sacred Space and connected hearts, how far into the Tantric Sextasy Ritual are we?

Maybe a minute for the Heart Salutation and a couple of minutes for some kissing and sweet everythings. These little quickies are fast, but ultimately quite powerful. Did you read in Chapter 2 (Day 1) to utilize every sensory input as a trigger for pleasure? Did you do the sensory awakening practices that contribute to raising your consciousness? We're going to take that formula further here. Because Tantric Sextasy is first and foremost about the life force energy inside your body, mind, and spirit, it's a great idea this early in your ritual to do some non-verbal physical things to connect with your honey.

What follows are three ways to heighten your senses and titillate. We offer suggestions and instructions about looking deeply into each other's eyes, undressing each other, and then melting into a long delicious hug. Again, simple quick actions, but, oh, so sensuous when you do them tantrically.

Tantric Eye Contact

To maximize these and later ritual steps, use your eyes to convey messages as in flirting. Use your lips to create enticing expressions and caress from afar. Breathe deeply and issue forth loving sounds. Moans are a powerful message. Move your body seductively and to heighten your own sensations. Let your lover know how much you want them, even without words. Let's start building intimacy with eye contact in the

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following practice. Yes, it's true; the eyes are the window to the soul. As you look into your lover's eyes, you see the depths of the universe, the core of their soul, the truth of their being. You will also see the reflection of your divine inner self. You can't avoid the deepening of your connection. This practice brings you front and center to one another. It's simple, yet powerful.

It's simple to say just look into your lover's eyes. It's another thing to do it with a minimum of motion and be fully present. It's like an eye-to-eye meditation, getting easier and more fulfilling the more you practice.

When you first try the Eye-Gazing Practice, start with 2 or 3 minutes. Work up to 10 minutes or more later.

That's all it is, quite simple. Just put all your attention on your partner's face. PARTNER SEXERCISE: Eye-Gazing

Description

Don't make this more complicated than it is. We know, questions always arise like... Which eye do I look into? Do I stare at her forehead? Is it okay to blink? Some gurus recommend looking into the left eye because it connects more directly with the right brain, which is the emotional, holistic brain. Try one eye and then the other and decide for yourself which is most powerful for you and your partner.

Long blinks can be distracting. If you experience physical discomfort or reactions, be sure to tell your partner. This is supposed to be pleasurable, not torturous. The more you do it at the right length and intensity for you both, the better it will become.

Purpose

To connect deeply into the soul of your partner through the eyes without touching.

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1. Tantric sacred space.

If you haven't done so already, create a Tantric Sacred Space as you did in Chapter 4 (Day 2).

2. Sit facing each other.

Sit cross-legged in front of one another. Use a zafu, pillow, or chair if it makes you more comfortable.

3. Heart Salutation

Do a Heart Salutation as described earlier in this chapter. 4. Eye contact.

With your hands resting on your legs, simply gaze into your lover's eyes. Don't caress or touch, just remain still without movement.

5. Breathing.

After a few minutes, you may find that your breathing synchronizes. This is a common by-product of intimacy that you can use to connect with your lover. If you like, do this consciously and follow along with Shakti's in- and out-breaths to synchronize your breathing pattern. (Shiva, that's the Tantric way, to follow Shakti's energy.)

6. Sharing.

Afterwards, let your lover know how the experience was for you. There have been times when we've felt very little. At other times we cried together and felt our hearts balloon with love and a feeling of oneness. What was it like for you this time?

7. Heart salutation.

Close with another Heart Salutation.

Eye-Gazing is one of those things that you can do just about any time to connect with your lover in an honoring way. Once you learn to appreciate its value, it's your choice about when and how often to do it. One thing we can say for sure is that looking deeply into your lover's eyes during ecstatic sexual union

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(intercourse) can send you out of this world. Maybe that's why Tantrikas (Tantra adepts) prefer face-to-face sexual positions?!?

Don't Just Drop Your Clothes Anywhere!

The eyes are just the first way to help you shift into the realm of your senses: sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing.

Next, let's focus on the delight of seeing your sweetie's naked body. And having yours seen. If you've been together for a while, hopefully you've lost any modesty that you entered your relationship with. That's good news, but if you take your own clothes off and jump into bed, it doesn't particularly add to the sacred ritual. Don't get us wrong, parading your nude body in front of your lover can be truly erotic. That's why we encourage you loving take off your lover's garments. And for those more adventurous souls, we urge you to strip in time with sensual or bump-and-grind music and dance erotically for your baby. If you're still shy about showing all of your skin, both exercises can provide true growth in intimacy as well as self-love. Plus, they're potent sources of turn-on once you learn to enjoy them.

As we've been explaining, in Tantric Sextasy we use the simplest of actions to titillate your subtle energy systems. Like wearing sexy looking and feeling clothes as you learned in the last chapter. Another great way to pique the senses and make your connecting ritual special is how you take them off.

For maximum titillation, there's nothing like being undressed by a sensitive and hungry lover, slowly, sensuously, and seductively. The more excitement they show while revealing one part of your body after another, the more it will turn you on. What if they actually described what they love about each new area of exposed skin, too?

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This is actually more fun if you start with more clothes on, rather than less. Oh yes, jewelry counts. Take it all off. Aim for maximum turn-on, maximum feeling of playful loving.

PARTNER SEXERCISE: Tantric Ritual Undressing

Purpose

To experience the titillation of slowly and seductively undressing your partner with suitable juicy sweet everythings.

Description

First of all, take this slow. It's very important not to rush Tantric Ritual Undressing. Imagine that you are the sexiest, most desired film star that ever lived, then you get into dramatizing each movement, each action, to the max. Of course, you'll be adoring and playful at the same time, right?

We've written these directions for the woman to receive first, but it's entirely up to you who begins; or flip a coin to see who goes first. This is something you can enjoy every time you make love. Do it one way one time and the other way the next time. Or be adventurous and do it simultaneously, one piece for her, then one for him.

Please read this entire practice together before beginning. 1. Tantric sacred space.

Create a Sacred Space if you haven't already done so. Turn on some sensual music.

2. Heart Salutation

Do a Heart Salutation and any other connecting that you like. 3. Undress her.

Look your lover over hungrily and caress one part of her body through her clothes, like her shoulder. Then slowly, tantalizingly reach for the first button or

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zipper. Sweetly and gently touch what you reveal. Take your time and breathe her skin in. Brush her skin with your lips a little, kissing, tasting, licking, and nibbling to get the full effect. We hope neither of you forget to breathe and moan with delight.

4. Whisper sweet everythings.

While you're opening her blouse (or whatever) and kissing her neck (or whatever), murmur sweet everythings about the body part that's uncovered. For example, tell her what a sexy neck she has. "Oh, what a sweet lovely neck." Comment on the silky texture of her skin. "It feels so smooth." Mention how it makes you feel. "I love your feel and taste."

5. Cover her with fingers, lips, tongue…

Slowly remove each article of clothing this way. At each unfolding, with greater and greater opening, keep touching and telling her how perfectly beautiful that part of her body is and how it turns you on. Now don't be shy. Touching includes fingers, lips, and tongues, at least.

Cover her entire body, leaving nothing out. This kind of adoration is especially welcome on the feet, butt, and yoni (vulva, the exterior portion of your woman's genitals). Be sure to check with your partner before doing something totally new. 6. Undress him.

Standing in your altogether, smile seductively and begin unbuttoning his shirt. Kiss his skin and tell him how masculine his shoulder (or whatever) is. Let him know how much you adore his hairy (or non hairy) body. Kiss his neck. Run your fingers through his hair.

As you remove more and more of his shirt, keep kissing, licking and telling him how excited you're getting. Maybe he likes an occasional scratch with your nails. Slowly, with plenty of tease and come-hither glances, undo his pants and take one leg off at a time. If you want to pay a little (or a lot) of attention to what's between his legs while you're on your knees, go ahead, enjoy.

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This is not meant as a standalone practice. After all, here you are buck naked. Now what? Do whatever you want to do with one another or nothing at all. If you want, you can simply segue into later practices like dancing erotically, hugging, or more.

8. Close.

Be sure to close with another Heart Salutation. Share your reactions. Tantric Hugging

Living in the U.S., it's interesting to note that Americans have the largest personal space of any people on earth. That means we like to keep people farther away than other cultures. Maybe it's because we don't hug and touch enough. One thing we've observed is that most people are afraid to hug long, hug deep, and hug with their whole body. Let's find out where you stand on this issue.

The next practice introduces you to the Melting Hug which is: a long tight full-body hug with as much body contact as possible while standing that goes on and on and on.

The whole idea is what the name says, you melt into each other.

Don't think a Melting Hug is a quickie. It's not a back-slapping bear hug that sportsmen use. It's not the A-Frame Hug where only your shoulders touch. Instead, it's a still sinking into each other. Do the following practice and see how you like it.

PARTNER SEXERCISE: Tantric Hugging

Purpose

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1. Tantric sacred space.

Create a Sacred Space, if you haven't already done so. Add soft music. 2. Undress.

If you have clothes on, take your clothes off, undress each other, or strip and dance in front of each other. Stand about five feet (two meters) apart.

3. Tantric gazing.

Look openly at one another. Feel the energy coming from this godlike creature standing in front you. Feel your body responding.

4. Move slowly.

Palms open, raise your arms slowly, reaching forward and begin moving toward your partner. Really slowly, take a short step every couple breaths. Maintain eye contact. Feel your energy rise as you get closer. Feel the energy connection between you.

5. Tantric touching.

As you get close enough to touch, intertwine your arms with your lover's. Slowly and sensuously put your entire body next to your partner's, including hips and sexual jewels. Bend your knees slightly. The taller partner may need to sink lower for maximum skin contact. Be sure to get in a comfortable position because you're going to be here for a few minutes.

6. Be still.

Don't move, shift, pat or squeeze too tightly. This is a sensual, erotic hug where the two of you become one energetically. Of course, you don't lose points if you're the first to move. If you have to shift because of discomfort, so be it, adjust your posture so you're always comfortable.

7. Feel each other.

Breathe into all parts of your body. Feel your breath, your energy, your resistances, your objections, your aches and pains, your concern for your partner, your desire to pull away, and your feelings of melting into one another. Feel your partner's body, breathing, softness, hardness, tension, relaxation, energy moving.

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Feel the exchange of energy. Feel everything. Enjoy your sexual arousal, if it's there.

8. Enjoy each other.

Stay in this Tantric Hug pose for five minutes. 9. Share.

After you part, share your thoughts, feelings and reactions with your partner. 10. Close.

Close with a Heart Salutation.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Initial Energy Connection

If you weave words of affection like sweet everythings with non-verbal energy bridges like Tantric Kissing, Tantric Ritual Undressing, and Tantric Hugging, you're opening multiple energy channels at once. These are all quick, fun, sweet, and sensual actions you can do just about anytime. What you do when is your call, of course.

Of course, if you did all seven practices so far at stage two of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual, you're not having the fastest of quickies. They might take you about 30 minutes so that means it's a "longie," our favorite kind of lovemaking. If you don't yet realize the payoff in terms of ecstasy and supreme bliss, you've got a wonderful surprise ahead.

After doing these practices, here are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about.

• What did you like best?

• How did you feel during each practice?

• What were your resistances? What form did they take? • What was hardest for you?

• What would you like to try differently next time?

• How do you think these practices better prepare you for Spiritual Sex?

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Reveal Yourself & Watch What Happens There are some other messages we think are vital that you look for inside and share openly before lovemaking of any kind. We mean discussing each other's desires, concerns, and boundaries.

When you as Shiva and Shakti merge as equals, when you're both fully empowered, when you take complete responsibility for yourselves and your pleasure, then true magic can happen. If one of you is holding back, unsure, unwilling, resistant, conflicted, or any of the other sentiments we all feel from time to time during intimate play, your ecstasy probably won't be anywhere near as stellar.

If you're waiting to be "done," relying on some mysterious force to catapult you higher, depending on drugs to make you high, expecting your lover's skill to make you come big time, you might be disappointed.

Oh, sure, it might be great fun, playing out an exotic romance that you've always dreamed about. There's great energy to be had from fantasies, role-playing, and bondage-domination games. But as a steady diet for spiritual growth and relationship enhancement, we wouldn't recommend that you depend on it.

A basic prerequisite of Spiritual Sex is that you each always operate with consent. Never do anything to your lover without permission. A sensitive Tantrika always asks before making genital contact. Penetration is always preceded with something like "Would yoni enjoy a visit now by vajra (or my finger or tongue)?" Only then can you each be 100% responsible for your own pleasure.

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If you know what you want, make your limitations clear, and explain what you feel in each moment, true trust can unfold. You'll have a chance to really expose yourself and teach your lover what turns you on. Only then can you truly reveal what's alive inside you and connect with your lover's soul. This is authentic intimacy without fear. Then, when you enjoy divine play together as partners, the sky's the limit.

When You Communicate, Be Real, Be Authentic

When we hold back emotionally or spiritually, we hold back energetically as well. That's why we believe communication is a compelling key to great sex. Most people struggle to communicate openly about their sexual feelings and desires. Sure, it's easier for most lovers to talk about the weather than how their yoni felt last time, what will keep vajra from exploding too soon, or what risky sex play they want to experiment with now.

The single biggest communication challenge for couples is when one or both partners aren't completely forthcoming and authentic with each other. In less formal words, this means when you're acting phony, being vague, or not telling all. When your words don't match your expression, body language, and actions, there will be repercussions immediately or eventually.

Here are some questions to consider about how real you are. Do you... • Feel that your darling is responsible for satisfying you in any way? • Believe that your partner is supposed to know how to satisfy you?

• Act passive when you're not getting what you want and then complain afterwards?

• Wait for that magical moment when something outside of yourself will sweep you away? Or do you think you're a character in a romance novel and expect yourself to know exactly what will please your lover all the time, because you're a gifted mind reader?

Tantric Sextasy teaches that whether you're female or male, you're 100% responsible for your own turn-on, your ecstasy, and your own orgasms. By this we don't mean that all good lovin' is self-lovin'. We mean that great sex is a partnership in which it takes two to tango.

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Sexual Partnership Means Mutual Sexual Consent

The partnership of Spiritual Sex is where you both discover how your body works and communicate it. You both treasure your pleasure and guide your lover to give you what you want. Each lover tunes in to clear-cut signals and responds. Your own cues are equally obvious so you both give and receive what brings maximum pleasure.

Because Tantrikas use sexual play to raise awareness, we focus on, talk about, and study sex more than the average person. But we don't plan things out in detail. We learn to look inside, understand what we're wanting and feeling now, and then talk about it. And, as you just read, we never do anything to another, even a long-term partner, without their permission.

When you know where you and your partner are at emotionally and physically, then you can trust that your partner will respect your needs and limits. When you trust, it's much easier to relax. High states of ecstasy are only accessible when you're really relaxed, conscious, and present.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: How REAL Are You?

Here are some statements to complete by reflecting, journaling, or talking. • My beliefs about who's responsible for my own pleasure are... • My beliefs about who's responsible for my lover's pleasure are... • I feel my sexual needs are understood and appreciated when... • What my partner does to help me feel this way is...

• I want my lover to better understand... • I feel shy or embarrassed talking about... Sexual Partnering Questions

Are you getting the point that Spiritual Sex is a unique partnership involving mutual consent, energy balance, full participation, plus equal giving and receiving? We always start any partnered Tantric practice by discussing three issues which we call the Partnering Questions. In this way, you can make sure

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that your minds are focused, your hearts are clear, and your guidelines are understood without any hidden anxieties or expectations.

The Partnering Questions guide you to talk about the following. (1) Desires: What do you want, intend, or hope will happen?

(2) Concerns: What's on your mind, worrying you, or concerns you about yourself, your partner, or the situation? This includes safer sex issues, birth control, privacy,

confidentially, health, long-term commitment, what you imagine your partner is thinking, etc. (3) Boundaries: Want lines you

don't want to cross and specific behaviors you do not want to engage in at this time?

For example, before receiving a sensual massage your lover might ask for... • Desires: long slow oiled strokes and nurturing touch,

• Concerns: without things turning too sexual because she's having menstrual cramps, and

• Boundaries: with no vaginal or anal penetration.

Discussing the Partnering Questions allow you to speak simply and respectfully about your sexuality in the moment. Revealing where you're at and finding out what your sweetheart wants before Spiritual Sex is vital to the flow of orgasmic energy and can be a major turn-on or tension reliever. Having this kind of brief conversation before you get hot and sweaty can create a great playing field in which you can learn about who you are and what you want. This is how you can make each encounter be full-out, because you have nothing to hide or protect against.

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Maybe each of you is still learning about your subtle orgasmic triggers. Regardless, the more you talk with your partner about what you want, the quicker you'll both learn what you can do to get it.

Answering and negotiating about the Partnering Questions doesn't mean you should make a strict agenda for each lovemaking session. Sure, you may be hoping for some hot petting, some luscious oral pleasure, or endless penis stroking inside your womanhood. But asking for what you want can also be general or a long-term intention like...

• "Let's see how high we can get without sexual union for a long while." • "I'd like us to learn more about each other's bodies."

• "I'm feeling really needy right now and want to go real slow without any expectations of what will happen."

• "I hope you want to play for the longest time because I'm really hot to trot."

Don't think that we're recommending that you enter into Tantric Lovemaking with specific goals or outcomes in mind. Strict detailed expectations can distract and fill you with too much frustration. Approach the "desires" question generally, just like the examples above, focusing more on overall intention than measurable results.

We realize there are many men who think they're a failure if their woman doesn't orgasm. At the same time, there are many women who don't have a clue what will make them feel profound sexual pleasure. As a result, some men and women pressure their lovers to have an orgasm to soothe their own egos. We can't emphasize enough the message that orgasms are wonderful, but it's the pleasure along the journey that transforms your connection to one another and your connection to Goddess/God.

Don't use the Partnering Questions to dictate where you want to end up, only where you choose to start. Use them to reveal what's alive inside you and then choose to go with the flow. When you embrace the Tantric Attitude, all good things unfold to those who surrender.

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PARTNER SEXERCISE: Sexual Partnering Questions

Description

The following exercise is designed to help you get familiar with the three topics -- desires, concerns, and boundaries -- for sex in general. More often, you'll use these questions to prepare for specific activities during later practices in this e-course or sessions with the Tantric Sextasy Ritual.

Purpose

To get comfortable in answering and discussing the Partnering Questions so you can get clear in advance and be completely responsible for your own growth, safety, and pleasure.

1. Rate your current sex life.

Take a moment to look within and identify how satisfied you currently are with your sex life. Consider what you've had, what you've got, how it's working, and what you want. Include desires, feelings, concerns, and frustrations. The more honestly you can do this, the better your future experiences will be.

Give thought to how you want to present this, such as tone, eye contact, and respectful words. Remember, you'll be talking about what you want, not what your partner did or didn't do. You accept that you're 100% responsible for your own pleasure, right? So focus on "how can we make our sexual union last longer?" rather than "you always come too quickly?" Recognize "I really want to receive more oral sex and want to learn how to help you enjoy it" instead of "you don't love me because you won't go down on me."

2. Opening heart salutation.

We always recommend doing all sensual and intimate practices in your Tantric Sacred Space. To begin with the right mood, do a Heart Salutation together. 3. One partner presents.

The first partner explains their Desires, Concerns, and Boundaries regarding sex with the other. Since you want to start generally, one or two minutes each is usually sufficient for each of the three questions.

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4. "I" statements.

Remember to use "I" statements. Stay focused on yourself and your feelings. Before lovemaking isn't the time to ask your partner for major life changes. If this is your first time to share something unpleasant or dissatisfying, we recommend you limit your disclosure to just one issue so that you can both have time to express and digest.

5. Just listen.

The receiving partner should simply listen, acknowledge, and ask for clarification only if necessary to understand. Please no commentary or opinion giving. Getting defensive undermines the whole process.

6. The other lover’s turn.

Next, the second partner assumes the role of speaker. Follow the instructions above. The new listener just listens.

7. Negotiate.

If there are differences in desires or boundaries that conflict each other, discuss what you can do to honor each other's wishes. Your goal is to create a win-win situation. We want each of you to feel good, safe, and comfortable so that you can proceed to the fantastic sensual feast you'll be creating together.

8. Closing heart salutation.

Conclude your practice with another Heart Salutation. It's a wonderful closing gesture for all practices.

This little negotiation before Spiritual Sex, Tantric practice, or any kind of lovemaking need only take a few minutes. Of course, if there's big stuff in the way, it's better to use this kind of dialogue to clear the decks before getting physical, no matter how long it takes.

We urge you to discuss the Partnering Questions each time you choose to be sexually intimate, no matter how long you've been together. You'll be focusing on how you feel and what you want in the moment. Your partner won't know, only

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you will. Don't worry if you feel you're not doing the Partnering Questions very eloquently at first. Whatever you do is good for intimacy and good practice to grow your communication skills.

The Safer & Smarter Sex Interview Partnering Questions are great for long-term lovers to use religiously to keep the decks cleared whenever practicing and playing. We strongly encourage all lovers to become confident and forthright about communicating about sex in general, but about protection from disease and pregnancy in specific. Any

lover who engages with a new partner must definitely and absolutely pay special attention to this conversation.

Our final chapter includes detailed guidelines for understanding sexually transmitted diseases and negotiating levels of risk. Basically, if you exchange sexual fluids you can become exposed to unwanted germs that can seriously affect your health. No matter how awkward it might seem when you're first learning to do this, you must ask certain vital questions when you're discussing concerns during the Partnering Questions.

For example, you'll want to ask new partners...

• Have you been exposed to any STDs that you're aware of?

• When was the last time you were tested for HIV (the AIDS virus) and other STDs?

• What kind of protection do you use with other partners?

• How risky is your sex life or do you only play with known trusted partners? Only then can you negotiate what you're willing to do with what kind of protection so you're playing with an acceptable level of risk. That's how you can be very sexually active and healthy for the long haul.

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Please review the details about Safer & Smarter Sex in Chapter 10 (Day 5) as soon as you can.

Tantric Sex – Learn, Try, and Practice, Practice, Practice

In essence, answering questions like the above and then acting on them is what this e-course is all about. We don't just want you to read Tantric Sextasy. We want you to study, communicate, and practice. All the wonderful, delicious, juicy stuff we're suggesting is for you and your lover to experiment with.

You've set out on an exciting explorer's program. Remember, your mindset will determine how much you discover about the staggering ecstasy that's lurking inside you. Keep an open mind. Act like kids playing doctor. Drop your expectations and cynicisms. Treat every experience as fresh and new. Embody the Tantric Attitude of YES-BE.

Only if you get out of the way can you let the dormant energy deep within transport you to new and unexpected places. So practice, practice, practice!

We know some of this stuff is new and may even seem weird at first. (Well, not if you attend a Tantric gathering.) If you try them, we think you'll like them. If not, you're the boss about what you do. Either way, we won't tell on you.

And please don't assume that you should do each exercise once. Most are more valuable when done repeatedly. Practice may not make you perfect, but it does feel better and better as it gets easier. Ecstasy takes you higher and higher. Every time you do a practice, you will learn something new, we guarantee it. It may be something new about yourself, new about your partner, or new about your sexuality.

We've been studying and practicing many forms of sexuality for many years and we still keep learning about ourselves. Each time we make love it's different, it's new, it's unexpected. We don't believe we know it all so we approach every

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session of lovemaking as a new adventure. As a result, our sex keeps getting better, too.

Remember the How To Love Me practice from Chapter 3 (Day 2)? We debated at length about including it here as well because it's essential for establishing an open, free, playful, and ecstatic lovemaking experience with a new partner. Because you can use it over and over to go deeper and deeper with specific erogenous zones we recommend you include it at the Connecting Hearts Stage of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual at times.

For example, this week she might want to experiment with what clio (clitoris) likes and share that with you before making love. Next week, you might use the practice to share some new things you’ve discovered about your devamani (testicles) during self-pleasuring.

A Tantrika knows what the body, mind, and soul wants and how to ask for it. This is a very fun way to learn about your body as you're sharing with your partner. The more detailed the better.

In Tantric Sextasy, everything is sacred, holy. There is no unholy. You and your partner are learning the steps of ecstatic love and lovemaking. So let's move on to the next stage in the Tantric Sextasy Ritual, turning plain sex into a dynamic meditation, where you'll meet the true spiritual nature of Spiritual Sex.

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Chapter 6: Sexually Meditate Together

The Four Cornerstones of Supreme Sexual Bliss

Do we guess right that you are reading this e-course not simply to have better sex but to experience the highest level of ecstatic experiences possible? The Tantric Sextasy Ritual is the path to that ecstasy every time you make love. In addition to learning the physical triggers to pleasure, one of the primary things you'll learn here is how to cultivate and circulate orgasmic energy to propel you to higher states of consciousness and bliss.

The secret is to turn the orgasmic responses of the body and mind into skills you can

practice, master, and use at will. We call the keys to mastering The Four Cornerstones of Supreme Bliss.

• Presence: being clear, calm, and conscious of the present. • Breath: using the intake and release of air to energize you. • Sound: harnessing the power of your voice.

• Movement: learning to strengthen, move, and relax your muscles.

We introduced you to the cornerstones at the end of Chapter 3 (Day 2). Now we're really going to begin to show you how they work and how they can change your humdrum sex life into sexual magic.

How can these simple actions revolutionize your sexuality? Do you remember where these four cornerstones come from? They are what happens to you and your body when your pleasure mounts and you approach orgasm. You get focused, breathe deeper, make noise, and move sensuously.

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Of course, you could tune out, pant, mumble, and tense up which would block your ascent to the highest peaks. When you learn to harness these four natural responses to magnify your turn-on, you'll find your sensitivity, capacity, and intensity of pleasure increasing.

How to Use the Four Cornerstones of Sexual Bliss to Your Advantage Here's how you're going to use them...

Presence means being relaxed enough to open your senses in the moment without any goal or expectation and focus totally on the pleasure you're feeling right now. Presence of mind allows you to use visualization to move orgasmic

energy (orgasmic energy), and presence of spirit tunes your internal receiver to

the frequency of subtle energy.

A Tantric breath is deep, slow, and in the belly. It's the stimulating breath that fuels the body's metabolism.

Tantrikas (Tantra adepts) make love sounds such as moans to express the

pleasure they're feeling. This releases inhibitions and opens powerful nerve channels.

The kinds of movements we're referring to are undulating Pelvic Rocking on the outside and sexual muscle pumping on the inside. Not only do these actions channel orgasmic energy, but they make you feel really hot.

This and the following chapter about the third and fourth stages of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual focus on how you can practice and employ the Four Cornerstones of Supreme Bliss to create peak pleasure with the slightest arousal. We'll begin with presence, enhance your ability to relax, go deeper into meditation, use your breath consciously, and work with the chakras, the subtle energy centers in your body.

Meditation is an essential step in Spiritual Sex and the third stage of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual so that can you enter lovemaking with a state of inner peace and

Section 3

Table of Contents

Important Notes

DAY 3 Private Session:

How to Achieve Tantric Intimacy…

Breath-to-Breath,

Skin-to-Skin, Body-to-Body,

Orgasm-to-Orgasm

Chapter 5: Connect Your Hearts, Connect

Your Sexual Energies

Chapter 6: Sexually Meditate Together