A helpful technique you can use to teach your clients how to explore their values is to have them categorize their values. Different values fall into different categories. Clients might find that their core values fall into certain categories and their satellite values fall into others. I’ve developed a framework for categorizing values that incorporates my work with students and clients for over twenty-five years, along the various dimensions of health and the work of Steven Hayes (2005) regarding values.
My framework has ten categories:
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intimate relationships◆
family relationships◆
friendships and other relationships◆
health◆
spirituality◆
finances◆
learning◆
work◆
the environment◆
civic dutiesI break relationships into three separate categories, because different kinds of relation-ships are worth looking at separately.
INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
Intimacy in relationships is characterized by a deeper level of sharing of personal infor-mation and experience than friendships or other more-casual relationships. Intimate rela-tionships can be sexual or romantic, but they also can be platonic. Intimacy can be expressed in a variety of ways beyond the deep trust and sharing of personal information that form its foundation. Let your clients define their intimate relationships for you.
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
Family can be defined in many ways, depending on a person’s culture and subcultures.
It could be limited to the person’s partner and children or parents and siblings (nuclear);
include aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and so on (extended); or consist of a mixture of friends, family, domestic partners, and so forth (blended). What clients value about their family relationships is strongly influenced by the culture and subcultures in which they were raised.
As a coach, don’t assume that all families are healthy, functional, and valued. Any pattern of neglect or abuse in your clients’ family histories will strongly influence their values around family.
FRIENDSHIPS AND OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
This category covers the entire spectrum from close friends and casual associates to relationships with pets. It differs from the other two relationship categories because these relationships aren’t among family members and don’t include romantic love, sex, or the same type of commitment one would pledge to an intimate partner.
HEALTH
Health is a multidimensional concept covering seven areas of well-being: the physi-cal, social, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, environmental, and occupational dimensions.
Health is related to both form and function. Your clients’ health values can relate to both how they look and how they feel and function. Some clients value how they look more than how well their bodies function. Others couldn’t care less about how they look but are very concerned about how well their bodies perform on a day-to-day basis. Clients can value the role of healthy behavior (regular exercise, healthy eating, preventive checkups, and so on) or not value it at all.
SPIRITUALITY
Spirituality revolves around feeling connected to something beyond the self. The sense of feeling connected to something or someone beyond the self is the essence of all religious and secular definitions of spirituality. In a religious sense, spiritual practice usually revolves around prayer, attendance and participation in religious activities, and tithing of income.
In a secular sense, spirituality can manifest itself in things like participation in community activities, efforts to improve the environment, or helping others who are less fortunate.
FINANCES
Finances refers to such matters as how much money people want or need; their saving, spending, and budgeting concerns; and the importance of money in their lives. Finances also extend to the larger level of consumerism, taxes, and government spending. Your clients’
financial values influence everything from their choice of occupation and spouse to their retirement expectations.
LEARNING
Learning is the formal and informal pursuit of knowledge, information, and skill. Some of your clients value learning, while others do not. Some value formal learning experiences (acquiring degrees, qualifications, certifications, licenses, and so on), while others value informal approaches (reading, taking adult-education courses, and so on). Clients value dif-ferent things associated with learning. For some, it means possessing a piece of paper that testifies to their status. For others, it’s simply learning new things and gathering new skills.
WORK
Work is an important part of life, offering opportunities for personal growth, income, and socialization. There are four key components of work: the physical work environment, social relationships with coworkers and bosses, the actual job, and earnings and benefits associated with the job. Clients value different things related to work. Some value the actual work, viewing it as an avenue for personal expression and fulfillment. Others see a job as a paycheck, and they value the wages and benefits above all else. Some clients like the work environment; for example, some fishermen love being out on the sea, some truckers value the open road, and some professors like the stage a podium in a lecture hall offers. Still other clients value above all else the personal relationships they establish with colleagues.
THE ENVIRONMENT
The environment can be broken down into the micro and macro levels. The microenvi-ronment includes a person’s immediate surroundings: school, home, neighborhood, town, city, and so on. The microenvironment means things like air and water quality, privacy, safety, and recreational opportunities. The macroenvironment is broader and encompasses entities such as the state and country where a person lives and the world at large. Clients value different things about their microenvironments.
CIVIC DUTIES
Civic duties refers to different aspects of citizenship, ranging from being a member of a community to being actively involved in politics and voting at various levels. Most clients think of their communities as relating to their local neighborhoods. As members of com-munities, clients value different things, ranging from the familiarity of being settled in one place to the pride associated with the local high-school football team. Politics and voting cover every aspect from school-board elections to electing the president of the nation. Some clients value voting and being actively involved in politics at all levels, while other clients couldn’t care less about this and don’t trust any politician at any level of government.
With ten categories and many sublevels within these divisions, it’s easy for clients to lose track of their core and satellite values. I’ve developed the following simple but useful mindfulness exercise to help clients sort through and categorize their values.