By Dimples
Going direct, I hold, is not a pickup method. It is no proven system, and it is no definition of game. Going direct is simply the ability to be confident and congruent in an honest way – to be yourself.
When I first started my pickup career, I would dedicate a major portion of my everyday to the memorization of hundreds of theories, methods, and routines. I would delve in the field-tested systems of the most glorified seduction gurus, hoping that by doing so I would condition myself to their way of communication – their successful identity.
And I wasn’t wrong.
In a matter of months, my good ol’ shy, shaky, and nervous self was nowhere to be found. I was armed with a canned & deadly weapon; a weapon that changed my life. Seduction was a science, I thought; a mathematical function with us humans the starring variables. It was up to me, the puppet master, to suck every female around me into my new passion, my new game.
All of a sudden, I was successful with women. I could talk to women, I could attract women, I could seduce women. I was CONFIDENT around women.
And that is when the realization came to me. Even when I forgot the lines, skipped the routines, and spat on the method, I was STILL confident and successful with women. The method that I so previously worshiped was somewhat insignificant. All of these lines, games, and tests were nothing but a manual to get me through my natural social barriers; nothing but a cure to my low self-esteem. By going through these scripted conversations, I was subconsciously learning that social preconceptions are meant to be
shat on. Social law is long gone, and I am free to act out the free man that I am.
But I am not here to talk about Inner Game. I am here to talk about Direct Game. And although the two are interlinked, they are two entirely different subjects.
The ability to go direct is the ability to say what you WANT to say, and MEAN IT. The problem with most of today’s pickup methods is not that they don’t work, but that they work in an incongruent way. I see guys running around asking question that they don’t actually care about. They play their scripted mind games on women and, sometimes to their own surprise, they end up getting laid. They associate their success with the method that they were using and they eventually turn into masters of social programming – robotic social interpreters. When asked why they are successful, they say “because I follow the rules.”
The funny thing is, though, that the rules have very little to do with their results. By learning indirect game, such as the M3 model for example, most guys subconsciously also learn how to flirt. I am a great believer in push/pull dynamics for example, and I am convinced that it is a powerful way of generating attraction. By learning how to flirt and by seeing results and improvement, these guys, sometimes unknowingly, develop confidence in their natural self and the process repeats. Most guys eventually realize this, as they completely dump the system in favor of going “natural” with their newly acquired confidence. And once these guys experiment with the “natural” frame, some of them, especially the lazy ones like me, turn their focus onto the fastest way to results: the direct way. Why fastest? Let’s play a game of statistics. According to the M3 model, it takes about 7-10 hours and about 3-4 different venues to begin a sexual relationship with a woman. According to the direct approach? An hour, a night, and some good logistics will do it. On the lines of the M3 model, it takes at least thirty minutes of attraction, qualification, and comfort to kiss a girl; and that is if you are willing to kiss her and “risk a flake.” Direct approach? Three minutes, a natural curiosity, and some high quality alpha balls.
And why is it that the direct approach is so fast and to the point? Simple… When we are running game in an indirect manner, all we are doing is promoting the impression that we are NOT there to hit on the woman; and,
therefore, the woman gets to know us and fall for us before she knows that we are interested. When we are running game in a direct manner, on the other hand, we are skipping sometimes hours of excruciating well- calculated value games, and we are getting straight to the point by “coming clean” and telling the woman what she is programmed to respond to.
Women are not stupid. They fully understand that when a man approaches them all he wants is to get in their pants. Even when a man is ACTUALLY lost and looking for the nearest and best coffee, or is TRULY worried about his dear buddy Tom who is undergoing a nipple-enlargement procedure, the woman will, at least in the first couple of minutes, assume that he is after her vagina.
Let’s look at an example: Bobby sees a gorgeous woman sitting by the bar. He musters up some courage, and then approaches her and tries to get her to like him. “Hey, do you come here often?” or “What is that that you’re drinking?” In reality, Bobby doesn’t give a damn about how often she comes to that specific bar, or what is the name of the combination of liquors in her glass. What Bobby really meant in those words was “hey, would you like to have sex with me?” The woman knows it and Bobby may know it too, but Bobby chose to not face it and make it the real reason for his approach. Bobby was not natural in his wording. Bobby was not HONEST, CONFIDENT, and ASSERTIVE; he was not DIRECT, and therefore, was not her ultimate male. The woman will feel little to no attraction towards Bobby, and will have no reason to invest in an interaction with him and figure if he’s what she’s looking for. And by that, Bobby is blown out.
Now don’t get me wrong. Walking up to a feminine beauty and telling her that you want to fuck her may be ballsy and congruent, but it will probably not work. The society we live in today does not shy from labeling women as sluts or other nasty words that they want nothing to do with. And although the woman may like the ballsy to-the-face approach, she will have to reject you under her assumption of social norms and regulations. What I do promote is a reframed, yet not degraded form of the above-mentioned approach. While sex still is a cultural taboo, attraction isn’t, and today’s society permits and even encourages men to tell women that they find them attractive. A woman and her siblings will not be offended by a sincere and un-chodely compliment. And while “I want to fuck you” may get rejected under conventional cultural norms, “I think you are absolutely
If we think about it, the two sentences mean the same thing under the man’s intentions. But the wording is different. And while both sentences are natural and direct – one is culturally fit and the other is not. And that is where we draw the line on direct game. You can pull almost EVERYTHING off if it is harmonious with the media and the culture you are surrounded by – and if it is direct.
Opening
As long as the beginning of your interaction with the woman directly states your intentions in a confident way, it is a direct approach. There is no reason to think up routines and to practice scenarios when going direct; yet if you are still uncomfortable with advanced flirting, they sure can help.
Let’s look at the Bobby example again, this time in a “how-to” manner. Bobby sees a gorgeous woman sitting by the bar. He thinks that she is absolutely adorable, and he decides to approach her. This time he is going to be honest, and he is going to say exactly what is on his mind, yet he is going to word it in a culturally accepted way.
Bobby: I thought you were absolutely adorable, so I just had to come say
hey! I’m Bobby.
CutieByTheBar: (a blushy, flirty, and sometimes shy “Bla Bla”)
She is hooked. Bobby’s exceptional confidence and honesty might have triggered instant attraction. She knows that he means business, and she can see that he is not afraid to directly address the reason for his approach. Why is he not afraid? Because he is a man who takes what he wants, when he wants, and where he wants. He is a man who rarely fails, and he knows that if she rejects him he will just attract a different woman with the same confidence that attracted her.
It is important to note that a woman will never rudely reject you if your approach is direct and honest. It is against cultural norms for her to do so. She may try to reject you in an indirect manner, by bringing up a “boyfriend” for example, but that is nothing but just another barrier for you to overcome.
Almost every good direct-style opening sentence has a drive. The drive is the word of power, the hook. In the above example, the drive is ‘cute’. For best results, we should all have a drive that is congruent to our identity. Generally speaking, younger women respond best to more sweet and childish drives such as ‘cute’, while older women best fit more mature drives such as ‘sexy’.
I personally, as a very young PUA, adopted the word ‘cute’ and its never- ending variations as the drive in my approach. What I also noticed is that sometimes women will try to take on the drive that you are introducing, especially when you were able to trigger instant attraction. If you tell her that she is sexy, she will do her best to be even sexier for you. And if you noticed how cute she is, she will make sure to flash her blushy smile as much as she can.
Telling her your name
When you go direct it is important to tell her your name. Take her name, too, and REMEMBER it. I usually tell her my name within the first 20 seconds of meeting her, if not immediately after opening. Sometimes the girl will be too shocked by your direct approach that she will not know what to say or how to react; and by giving her your name not only are you making her feel slightly more comfortable, but you are also allowing her the opportunity to respond to your forwardness in a natural way by giving you her name and by continuing the culturally accepted name-exchange which normally leads to an interview style conversation.
Kino
Maintaining a progressive physical interaction is extremely important to the success of your approach. I like to initiate kino right from the beginning, sometimes before I even get to say anything – especially when I am in an environment that allows me to do so naturally. A loud club, for example.
(Arm on her shoulder/neck, moving her hair away from her ear while talking into it) “Ok now seriously, I thought you were really cute so I just had to come say hey!”
Touch her as much as you can. If you can get yourself into a position where you are maintaining constant touch with her – even better. Holding her hand while talking to her works great. Play with it in a sensual way –
see if she reacts. While talking into her ear in a loud environment, try grabbing the back of her neck, right at the hair line; this is a great way to naturally escalate towards kissing when it feels right.
It is your job as a pickup artist to identify sexual energy and to ride on its waves. Don’t make the touch obvious; that’s creepo stuff. You want the touch to seem as an unconscious part of your communicating self. You are a touchy guy and you should not apologize for that. Identify discomfort, and act appropriately. If she pulls away from one of your escalations, punish her and pull yourself away, then go back in with less aggression. Well- calibrated physical push/pull plays an important role at this stage. Whatever happens, just make sure you always have healthy kino dynamics. There is nothing more incongruent than a direct approach that is missing the physical needed to back up the verbal.
It is important to note that night game is different from day game – even when going direct; and although your approach and its wording will NOT change, your physical escalation will. That is why it is SO important to know how to attune your physical escalation. It is something that will eventually come to you naturally. For example, I’ve been getting away with kissing girls’ hands during the day lately, yet I will not recommend it to guys who are still learning physical calibration.
How To Interview
After opening, you will need to push your interaction forward in a flirty way. Being able to flirt properly is extremely important when going direct, and for that reason I usually suggest that guys start out with indirect game, learn how to flirt, and only then go direct. As powerful as the direct opener is, it will not get you the girl by itself. And if you don’t prove to the girl that you actually are an uncommonly fun, interesting, and flirty guy – she will have no choice but to reject you.
Flirting, I believe, is push/pull. It is the ability to regulate sexual tension. When the woman in front of you is riding an emotional roller coaster, you are doing something right. I also believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the long-targeted interview-style conversation. The general problem with interview-style conversations is that they are carried out by low-value unflirtatious males. Males who have nothing to offer, and therefore hang on the woman’s cultural obligation to answer the question – so they can only say “cool” and ask her another one. But what if the male who’s asking the questions is fun and flirtatious? Will the “interview” still be
a never-ending exchange of yes’s, no’s, why-not’s, and really’s? Let’s go back to our example:
The Chode Way:
Bobby: So where are you from? CutieByTheBar: Santa Barbara. Bobby: Cool. What do you do? CutieByTheBar: I’m a nurse.
Bobby: Nice. I’m an engineer. So do you come here often? ….. And so, boring, fucking on………
By the third question Bobby has lost most of the attraction he might have triggered from opening, and he is now nothing but a bother to her fun- seeking emotional self. Bobby is blown out.
The PUA Way:
Bobby: So where are you from? CutieByTheBar: Santa Barbara.
Bobby: No shit! I like… Totally thought that you’re from like Arkansas or
something! It’s those eyes! And I was expecting some southern biscuits from you… Wait... Do they have good southern biscuits in Santa Barbara?
CutieByTheBar: No, why would they!?
Bobby: Ok now that’s disappointing… Does Santa Barbara have
ANYTHING that’s good?!
CutieByTheBar: The parties are awesome! It’s right next to the beach!
Bobby: Wait a second… Not only are you a cutie, but you love to party too!
Holy shit I’m like totally in love already!
The above is an excerpt from a real conversation I had with a cute brunette at a mall in San Francisco yesterday. It is an example of how to ask an interview question, and how to continue your conversation afterwards. The purpose of the interview question is to find out more about her in a culturally accepted way. And once you gather the specific information, you can then focus on it immediately or store it in your memory and come back to it later. I chose to focus on the topic she brought up, and I used it as the base to a fun and flirtatious conversation.
If your improvisation skills aren’t that good yet, feel free to use canned material that you are comfortable with. During the interview stage, the content of your conversation doesn’t quite matter as long as you keep a fun and flirtatious vibe. Your goal during this stage is to build a connection with the woman while maintaining the frame that you are there to pick her up. Make sure to restate your interest in her every now and then – that permits an incredibly fast escalation. Push your physical escalation to its possible limits. You will want to go for a kiss sometime during this stage, or a number, if you are not in the proper setting.
NOTE: It is important to escalate appropriately. As a pickup artist, you should know how to naturally regulate sexual tension. Every romantic adventure is different in its way, and you should tend to each in a personalized manner. Once you approach a good amount of women you will start to get a feel for it. Slow down during the day, speed up at night. Use the energy level of the specific location to your advantage.
Practice
I can guarantee that the first of your direct approaches will be absolutely disastrous. You will feel extremely uncomfortable, and you will probably want to get out of the situation as soon as possible. But those embarrassing minutes are well worth it. Conditioning, I believe, is the most important factor of one’s success. Get out there and experiment. Enjoy the process. You should push to a point where you feel confident that every girl wants you, and that you can get every girl just by telling her that you want her too.
Direct game is no replacement to indirect game. I will never dare to go direct in a setting in which I will be devastatingly affected by a failure, and I will always go indirect if I know that I will be seeing the woman on a frequent basis. I always tell guys to be absolutely 100% comfortable with the M3 approach before they come to me – not because I believe in its superiority, but because I believe in its flirtatious matter. But once you know how to flirt, why would you waste your time trying to avoid it? Why not just openly approach a woman for the sole reason of flirting? Why not skip hours of unnecessary bullshit and directly address the fact that you are a man and that she is a woman, and that you both like sex and intimacy? Be fun. Be confident. Be yourself.