Give a little passionate TLC
Keep it Hot!
So we know there’s nothing like having a real man who loves you, takes good care of you, and makes you feel like the queen of the world. But often times, we forget what we did to get his attention and how we looked when we reeled him in. Once we get him, we get comfy yet we
expect him to still cater to all of our demanding needs—when his have
been forgotten.
You have got to keep your relationship hot, especially nowadays. Let’s keep it real for a moment: There are a lot of chicken-heads out there, putting all their goodies on display, just plotting their hooks into your man. They don’t care that he’s taken—that makes him all the more attractive. After all, if you’ve got him, he must be worth pursuing, right?
Don’t let your man’s needs go unattended to and definitely don’t give
him a chance to get bored and fall prey to the cheap allures of all the rag-a-muffin, manless, hootchie mamas who are out there. You have to command your relationship, which includes commanding and keeping
his attention. Never get comfortable, never settle, and never ever forget the Goddess that you are! Whether you are in a new relationship, just dating, or have been married for years, keep it hot in the kitchen, in the bedroom, in the living room—hell, any room that you find yourself in with your man.
Get UNcomfortable
I see you getting ready to go to bed with your hair tied in a scarf and pimple cream dotted on your face. And don’t think I didn’t notice those ratty, baggy pajamas you’ve slept in every night for the past two years.
Do yourself a favor and march on over to the mirror. Now, do you see a hot, sexy, passionate woman staring back at you? No? Well, neither does your man.
I’m sure, when you first snagged him, you probably walked around the house looking like a model out of a Fredericks of Hollywood catalog. Now time has passed, you fell in love, got used to each other, and maybe even had a kid or two. So you feel like it’s okay to be comfortable and walk around looking like Weezy from Good Times—he still loves you
right? Yes, I’m sure he does, but he’d probably love and appreciate you much more if you put a little effort in your appearance. Familiarity breeds contentment. But you can’t allow yourself to fall into this trap. It’s a definite way to spark a rift between you and the love of your life. Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot—at All Times
Invest in Good Lingerie. Forget the long-sleeved pajama set. Lose that
massive t-shirt you stole from his drawer. And burn that flannel L.L. Bean nightgown that comes down to your ankles. Oh, and no cotton panties—I don’t care how comfy they are. I don’t even care if you get them in a bikini cut. They’re still not sexy. You know what your man sees
when he sees you in a pair of cotton undies? His sister. And that’s gross! So please don’t do that to him. What you need is lingerie. Real lingerie,
not that cheap, polyester crap in Day-Glo colors that they sell in the chain stores at the mall. I’m talking well-made, beautifully constructed, expensive-looking lingerie.
Now lingerie isn’t going to be your everyday undergarments. This is the flirty, naughty, bad girl stuff that you break out when you want to seduce your man. So invest a little time and money into building a collection of nice bra and panty sets. Throw out all of your old granny
panties and stretched out bras—if you don’t have them, you can’t wear them. And if you must keep your “period panties,” make sure he doesn’t
see you in them. Wearing nice underwear isn’t just for your man—it keeps you feeling sexy too! And when you feel sexy, you are. There’s nothing more satisfying than taking off your clothes and tantalizing your own eyes.
Keep your body supple. Oooh, the soft, smooth feel of a woman—
there’s nothing like it! Keep your body exfoliated, supple, and ready for your man’s hands to be all over it. Let the sun kiss your skin sometimes (with some SPF, of course) to increase your glow—so your man will want to kiss it too.
Create a sensual atmosphere. Look around your bedroom. Is it
appealing to the eye? Does it make you want to take off all your clothes and unleash your sexual energy? Your bedroom is your kingdom. It’s where most of the magic happens. (Of course the kitchen is the other
place.) But magic can’t happen if your walls are bare and white, sheets and pillows are worn and faded, clothes are thrown everywhere, and you’re using a 100 watt bulb to brighten the room. That’s not sexy at all. Your bedroom should speak seduction, passion, and love. Paint your walls a soft color; decorate your bed with beautiful pillows and matching sheets. And use dim lighting and candles to illuminate the room at night. And most important: Keep it clean. Real sexual energy can’t be released if there’s clutter everywhere.
Location, location, location. Even though your bedroom is your sex
the do. Get freaky with your choice of location and jump his bones on the couch. Start undressing him the moment he walks in the door and have sex standing up. Let him bend you over the sink. Or have sex on your living room floor. And who says you have to stay at home to be sexually creative? Make him pull over next time you take a long drive or, hey, get a little wild while he’s driving if you know what I mean. Next time you’re at the movies, wear a skirt and no undies to give him easy access or be really naughty and sneak in the bathroom next time you visit his parent’s house. Wherever, whenever, whatever! I guarantee you he won’t ever get bored—and neither will you.
Sweat your technique. If your sex life has been a little blah, it’s time
for a new position. Make that several new positions. Remember I said you can only do what you know? Well if you do the same ol’ thing every time you have sex, no wonder your man is bored! Pick up a copy of Kama Sutra or one of the dozens of other sex books on the market. Stop by a women-friendly sex store and buy a few toys and videos. Or be bold and go to a strip club and take mental notes. (Yes, those girls know a thing or two about technique.) Surprise your man in your next sex session. Men like new, exciting things, and most of all, they like anything that will make sex better. So improve your skills, girlfriend—always keep him crawling back for more!
Increase your frequency. How many times a week are you letting your
man indulge in that Stiletto Body of yours? One, maybe two? Well that’s not enough, sweetheart. Yes, I know, life is busy. You’re tired, you’ve got cramps, you had a long day at work, and you’ve got kids to
take care of and dinner to cook. So what? None of that matters. Sex is a major portion of the bond that holds a relationship together. Now I’m not saying you have to have long lovemaking sessions seven days a week. But you should be having some sort of sexual encounter with your man every single day.
Yes, you heard me right: every single day. It can be some passionate
hugging and kissing before you send him off to work. Or give him quick erotic massage during half time of the game. Maybe send him a quick X-rated video to his phone. (You know you have a camera on your Blackberry.) And oral sex always does the trick—and no, there’s nothing wrong about it! Just be sure that your man knows that you love him, that you desire him, and that the passion in your relationship is never going anywhere. And besides, sex isn’t just for him—you deserve to be satisfied often too.
Keep your best friend pretty. Don’t act like you don’t know who your
best friend is, as Oprah would call her—your vajayjay. Next to that
pretty face of yours, your man has to enjoy looking at that too. So keep
her looking pretty as well. Find out how he prefers her to look and try your best to keep her that way. No excuses! Even if he likes the Chia Pet look, make sure you maintain a well-groomed Chia Pet. There are many ways to do this, just find a technique that’s comfortable for you. Waxing, shaving, hair removal cream, or an electric clipper—it doesn’t matter. Keeping that groomed is just as important as the hair on your head—and you know you have to keep that looking good.
Don’t nag. Who wants to hear someone nagging all day? “Where are
that?” “You never do this or that.” Give the poor guy a break for ghod’s sake. Let him go out with the fellas, and don’t call him while he’s out. Give him some space sometimes, and let him stay out all night without questioning him when he comes in. And don’t run your mouth all day about what he’s not doing, what you don’t like, and what you can’t stand about him. What all this does is create drama in your relationship. Develop a foundation of trust, mutually set boundaries and standards, and leave it at that. Communicate but don’t nag.
Nagging may cause him to want to rebel, and we don’t want that. Let your man be a man! And when you do that, he has no reason to go anywhere.
Be thoughtful. You’re not the only one who deserves compliments,
cards, and flowers sent to your job. Your man needs the sweet gestures too. Be thoughtful and express your appreciation to him all the time. Write him a love letter and slip it in his briefcase. Or fill his coat pockets up with Hershey’s Kisses. Make him a bag lunch, kiss a napkin with red lipstick, and write “I love you” on it. Tell him how handsome you think he is—or all of the things about him that turn you on. It’s the little things that make a world of a difference in your relationship. Your man needs to be appreciated just as much as you do—if not more.
The 80/20 Rule
In any relationship a man finds himself in, whether it be a casual, friends-with-benefits type of arrangement or a ‘till-death-do-us-part marriage, he’s really only getting about 80% of what he needs from his woman. Sure, he’s getting the unconditional love, the comfortable
companionship, the sweet nurturing, the trusting confidante, the ideal mother for his adorable, intelligent children, blah, blah, blah. But despite all that perfection, all those things that any man thinks will complete his life and make him a whole, well-rounded individual, he may still wind up cheating or leaving his woman to get the other 20% of what he needs—or thinks he needs—but isn’t finding on the home front. And what, pray tell, is that 20% that he would shame his wife, embarrass his children, and risk everything he’s worked so hard to achieve and maintain?
Sex, submission, and sex!
That’s right. Hot, wild, unlimited, downright, lowdown, freaky naughty, nasty kinky sex—served up by someone who will spoil him rotten and do whatever he wants, with no hesitation or complaints. That selfish man wants a woman who will say to him—24 hours a day, seven days a week—“Whatever you want me to do, baby.” No matter what he does—stays out all night; leaves his funky, smelly socks on the floor; or refuses to take out the garbage. He wants the fantasy, that woman who will be mischievous, seductive, confident, and submissive, and whip up a delicious meal that’s hot and on the table the instant he walks in the door and be served like a king sitting on his throne—every night. But you and I know how this sorry tale ends, don’t we? After all, it’s played out over and over throughout history, and the outcome never changes. Unfortunately, some men will leave the 80% of the good stuff they’ve got at home and run out and chase the 20% that they think they just can’t live without—and they’ll end up stuck, miserable, and pitiful. So to cut down the possibility of this happening in your relationship, it’s your job to be your man’s 100 percent, to fulfill absolutely everything that he needs, wants, and desires.
What You Won’t Do, Somebody Else Will!
Now that you are aware of the 80/20 Rule, you know that there is
someone who will give him what he wants. Yes, there’s a chick out there who will happily take your man—smelly socks, other flaws, and all. Trust me, what you won’t do, somebody else will. Don’t be naïve and
think, “Oh no, my man is happy; he’s not going anywhere!” Sit back and think about the last time you cooked him a romantic dinner or rubbed his back after a long day at work. When was the last time you did something thoughtful, freaky, or helpful? Or showed him how much you support him, believe in him, and love him? If you can’t remember, you may want to ask yourself: “Where is my man right now while I’m sitting here reading this book?” (God forbid he’s with Little Miss 20 Percent!)
Your man doesn’t really want to leave you. He loves you. But life is short, and if he feels like he’s missing something, he just might drop you like a bad habit to experience what he’s looking for. If he really, truly wants something in your relationship you flat-out refuse to do or don’t realize that you’re not giving, I promise you that he can go out and find that woman who will do it gladly, whenever he wants, and with a smile on her face.
So make sure you are playing your role in the relationship. The whole role, not just parts of it. Communicate with your man, and ask him what he needs, what he wants, and what he desires from you. And make sure you do exactly that because—I will say it one more time—what you won’t do, somebody else will.
f I haven’t said it enough, let me say it again: You can have absolutely everything you want in this world. From men to money, a flawless face and a perfectly bangin’ body, to your dream home and a closet full of all the stilettos you want—yes, and I mean Manolos and Louboutins and none of the $39ers anymore. It’s all yours for the taking!
Are you ready to receive it? Are you ready to work for it? Being a true
Goddess whose life is full of passion, joy, happiness, love, money, and freedom is not just going to be handed to you. It’s something that you have to cultivate, grow, and maintain. When you plant a seed in rich soil, it will blossom into a strong, beautiful flower that’s ready for the world to indulge in its exquisiteness. But are you ready to grow? Is your soil rich and fertile, groomed and prepared for you to blossom into the Goddess that you deserve to be?