For those who wish to pursue their study of body language further, it will be useful to make some more systematic recordings of non-verbal behaviour. Two possibilities follow.
• First, while watching a chosen subject on television or in real
life, record their body language on a coding sheet (see Figure 15. 1 ). This can later be analyzed for the purpose of establishing patterns and to identify peculiarities in behavioural styles.
• Second, record your responses to your subject's body language
on a rating scale (see Figure 15.2). This should provide even more information for analysis and assessment.
e.g • 1 2
1 Eye contact .t
2 Facial expression change
3 Head movements .t
4 Gestures .t
5 Posture change
6 Proximity and orientation change 7 Bodily contact
8 Appearance (rate on scale 1 to 10) 8 9 Timing and synchronization .t 1 0 Non-verbal aspects of speech .t
.t if behaviour present:
figure 1 5 . 1 body lang uage coding s heet
Exercises and experiments
1 Random groups
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
A group of players moves freely around a room. A person appointed as the game leader calls out a number, such as two or four, and the players have to fORn into groups of that size. No-one may speak. Anyone left over drops out of the game. The game continues until only two people remain. In this game, it is interesting to see who are the most successful players and who are the least successful. Differences in their use of body language should be detected.
2 Is a wink as good as a nod?
A group of players is divided into two groups. Half sit on chairs and half stand behind the chairs, arranged in a circle. One chair is left
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... (JIAttractive/good looking _______ Unattractive/ugly
Smart _______ Unkempt
Clean _______ Dirty
High self-esteem _______ Low self-esteem
Ambitious _______ Unambitious
Warm _______ Cold
Approachable _______ Aloof
Sought after _______ Avoided
Happy _______ Depressed Calm _______ Anxious Rewarding _______ Unrewarding Generous _______ Mean Sociable _______ Unsociable Permissive _______ Strict Kind _______ Cruel
Has 'presence' _______ Has no 'presence'
Distinguished _______ Undistinguished
Respected _______ Spurned
Confident _______ Timorous
Assertive _______ Submissive
Charismatic _______ Mediocre
Star _______ One of the crowd
Success _______ Failure
Progressive _______ Reactionary
Colourful _______ Colourless
Likes children _______ Does not like children
Businesslike _______ Disorganized
Extrovert (outgoing) _______ Introvert (inward looking)
Active _______ Lazy
Takes risks _______ Cautious
Impulsive _______ Controlled Expressive _______ Inhibited Responsible _______ Irresponsible Practical _______ Reflective Casual _______ Obsessive Independent _______ Dependent Peaceful _______ Aggressive Bright _______ Dull Masculine _______ Feminine Straightforward _______ Devious Honest _______ Dishonest Open _______ Shifty Spendthrift _______ Thrifty Liberal _______ Conservative Drinks _______ Abstains Sympathetic _______ Unsympathetic Considerate _______ Inconsiderate
Place ./ at point on scale for example: Clean !I______ Dirty
Warm ___ !l___ Cold
figure 1 5 . 2 semantic d iffe rential rating scale for p e rceptions of oth e rs' n o n v e r b a l behav i o u r
empty (Le. there must be an odd number of players). The person behind the empty chair has to wink at a seated player. That player has to try to get to the empty chair and the person standing behind has to try to prevent him or her. If he or she succeeds in preventing the escape, both players change places and the person with the empty chair tries again . It is worth noticing if one attractive member of the group gets more winks than anyone else, and if seated players try to avoid being winked at by unattractive standing players.
3
The magic mirror1 75
Each player finds a partner and stands facing them. The players try to ... move in such a way that they copy each other, as if they were mirror en
images. Those who observe the game should look to see who gives a lead, which people are better at copying than others and which people do things that are almost impossible to copy.
4 Silent drawing
A number of people sit round a piece of paper, supplied with crayons or felt-tipped pens of different colours. No one speaks. Each person contributes as much or as little as he or she wishes to create a drawing on the piece of paper. Who starts? Who does most? Who does nothing at all? How does the group decide it has finished? What are the most common non-verbal behaviours?
5 Come in if you can get in
The players wait outside a room. They come in one at a time and take up a position they find comfortable near people they like. No one may speak. The game finishes when everyone is finally placed. How many groups form? Who is left out? What body language do people use to show that they want someone to join them? How do they show they do not want someone to join them?
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We are approaching the end of our consideration of body language, its nature, its uses and how it can be improved. You should not think of this as the end of your study of body language, however. You can continue that for the rest of your life, if you wish, by always paying more attention to non-verbal aspects of communication than you did before you read this book. Hopefully, you will have overcome the embarrassment that many people feel over discussion of body language. You should be able to regard it as a skill in the same way that reading, writing, listening and speaking are skills. As these can be improved by training, so can body language.
Of all the points that have been made in this book and of all the information which has been given, which are the most important? What are the essential features of body language that you should concentrate on and seek to develop in your everyday encounters with other people at work and at play? You are free, of course, to form your own opinions on this on the basis of what you have learned both from reading the book and from carrying out the exercises and experiments. You might nevertheless find it useful to have a view against which you can measure your own. Let us consider each aspect of body language separately, but remember that its effective use requires all aspects to be integrated. We must remind ourselves that we only separate the aspects for convenience of examination.
Eye contact
should be encouraged. Avoid staring, but more eye contact is likely to lead to greater liking, greater awareness and more accurate understanding of others' body language. We have to remember that communication is as much a question of accurate reception of signals as it is of skilful transmission. Pupil size is a useful indicator of liking, at close quarters. As it isbeyond conscious control, it can be more revealing than many other aspects of body language.
Facial expressions
should be lively and expressive rather than too carefully controlled and restricted. Movement provides others with information about us, information which is more likely to provoke a favourable response. Even unattractive people can appear attractive if they have lively and expressive faces. Many comedians are ugly or have odd-looking faces, yet their faces are usually so expressive that their ugliness almost becomes a kind of beauty.Head movements,
especially nods, can help to keep an encounter progressing smoothly and so they, too, should be encouraged. The more you allow, and even encourage, other people to talk, the more they will like you. Not that you should content yourself with being a permanent listener, simply that you should seek to share the floor, as it were, and avoid hogging it.Gestures
should be open and expressive, but not to the point of being contrived and affected. Just let them flow as a natural accompaniment both to the rest of your body language and to what you say. Avoid defensive, barrier gestures. Palm up or palm outward gestures are especially useful to encourage. On the other hand, it is worth noting that high-status individuals exhibit low peripheral movement in the form of few gestures and few changes in posture. Once again, it is a question of judging what is most appropriate in the circumstances.Posture
should be upright with forward lean when trying to convey active interest and involvement. But there are times when an asymmetrical leaning back will help to keep the atmosphere informal and relaxed. Stooping and slouching should always be avoided as these will almost always give an impression of lack of interest or other negative feelings.Proximity
should be encouraged. In our Western culture we tend to distance ourselves rather more than in many other cultures, so there can be several advantages in allowing closeness. We can always soften any stress produced by this by adopting an indirect orientation. When we are alone it is worth remembering that reflective thought is encouraged more by a horizontal orientation than a vertical one.Bodily contact
should be encouraged where it will not lead to embarrassment. Handshakes, arm pats, shoulder pats, arm round shoulders and guiding hands on the arm or back may be1 77
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the best ones to start with. But, as we said, care needs to be exercised here and progress in using bodily contact should be dictated by what others find appropriate. It is more a question of following others' initiatives rather than taking too much of a lead.
Appearance and physique
should be changed where you can see that this will bring about improvements. Experimenting with clothing can often reveal new ways of dressing which produce a more favourable response from others. Since a high value has been placed upon slimness in our society, overweight people might seriously consider either slimming down or at least dressing in ways which disguise the excess flesh.Timing and synchronization
are based on such subtle signals that it takes a good deal of time and effort to refine them. Nevertheless, it is worth "" '.irking to improve them. Perhaps the best way is to observe carefully those people you can identify as having a particularly acute sense of timing and who are able to synchronize with others with seeming perfection.Non-verbal aspects of speech
provide an area in which, once you are aware of the characteristics of your own speech - perhaps by listening to a tape of yourself - you can exercise some control. Avoid speaking too loudly with too harsh a tone. Avoid speaking too rapidly and using 'umms', 'ers', and 'ahs' wherever you can. Aim to maintain as uninterrupted a flow of speech as possible, without seeming too polished and glib.Above all, you should remember that body language is only one communication skill. It is limited in the amount and range of information it can convey and is most suited to portraying emotions and attitudes. But because it does also have a vital role in supporting (or contradicting) verbal communication it needs to be developed in the same way as other communication skills. Keep an eye on your own and other people's body language, practise the instruction and guidance offered in this book, read other books on body language and you should find that, as your skill in using it continues to improve, your enjoyment and satisfaction in interacting with other people grows accordingly. You will be taking important steps in the development of your full potential and will be helping others in the achievement of the highest objectives to which humankind can aspire, the growth of human understanding and the promotion of truly effective interpersonal communication.
In research terms, in spite of the fact that some research was done over a hundred years ago, body language (or non-verbal communication, as researchers usually call it) is still a very young subject. Although a great deal of research has been done in the last 30 years, much remains to be done. Nevertheless, you will, if you wish to pursue your interest in body language, find it useful to read some of the books below.