Whether you are abroad on business or on holiday, finding out about the body language of the people you will be meeting is a sensible precaution. But there are one or two other things you can do to minimize the risk of causing offence and maximize the chances of having a pleasant and trouble-free stay.
You should use body language that has universal, or near universal, currency as much as possible. Smiles, eyebrow flashes, head cocks, presenting the palm of the right hand in greeting should all help to ease you through the initial phases of encounters to the point where you can use other descriptive gestures to indicate what you want or what you wish to tell the other person.
Generally speaking, a friendly expression, an avoidance of aggressive movements and an awareness of the most obvious body language dangers will help to smooth over awkwardness and embarrassment. If this is supported by some attempt at least to learn key words and phrases from the spoken language, there will be fewer difficulties. It is often surprising how delighted people will be and how warmly they will respond if you have made some effort to communicate with them on their own terms. They will often be more willing to come forward and meet you half way. Even those who live in quite formal cultures, like the Japanese, respond very favourably when appropriate body language is matched with a few halting words.
Exercises and experiments
1 Foreign films
Watch one or two foreign films, preferably where you do not understand the language. In your notebook, or on tape, record instances of body language which are unusual, together with what they mean (if in doubt, try to consult a native of the country for an explanation). Look particularly at the use of eye contact, head nods, gesture, posture, and so on. Listen for tone of voice, speech errors, speed of speaking, pitch and so forth. Try to watch films from, say, France, Germany, Russia, India, and the Far East to get a good coverage of different cultures.
2 Getting your own way
Select an everyday negotiation, such as deciding what the family will watch on television, or seeking permission for time off work. On the first occasion try to get your own way by using negative, closed gestures and postures. On the next, try positive, open gestures and postures. Which way is more successful?
3 Business body language
Observe business people talking in a public place, such as a hotel lobby or airport lounge. What are their most frequently-used non verbal behaviours? Do they differ in any way from members of the general public? Consider appearance and physique, timing and synchronization and proximity and orientation as well as other aspects of body language.
4 I'm a stranger here myself
With a group of friends who are willing to participate in the exercise, act as if you were a foreigner who does not speak the language. How do others react to you? What are the most useful forms of body language? Are any situations impossible to deal with?
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::::!. Co .... ....In this chapter you will learn:
• the role of body language in
occupations such as
• nursing • teaching
• television interviewing • business
• other forms of contact with
We have now considered all of the main aspects of body language and how it is used in our encounters with others. We shall turn our attention at this point to examine a little more closely some of the practical applications of this knowledge for improving our use of body language in specific contexts. We begin, in this chapter, by examining how it can be used more effectively when we are at work. The chapters that follow will consider its use in everyday encounters, in personal attraction and developing better relationships with others, and in contributing to personal growth and self-development.
The kinds of occupations in which body language is most important are those in which there is face-to-face communication with members of the public. In these 'public contact' occupations we can also, for the sake of convenience, include such activities as nursing, television interviewing, all forms of business activity, and teaching.
Of all the possible aspects of the use of body language at work which could be considered, we shall also examine its use in meetings, in indicating attitudes to workmates, in industrial relations, in motivating others and in the building up of work teams. But first, as usual, let us begin with an exercise.
Exercise: anticipatory scanning techniques
We have already encountered anticipatory scanning in Chapter 9.
Here we will develop our understanding and use of it a little further. The next time you are in a public place where people are being served or attended to in some way in sequence (for example a bar, cafeteria, airline check-in desk or supermarket check-out), study the people who are working there. Look for examples of anticipatory scanning (looking ahead to the next person or persons to be dealt with while still attending to the person at the head of the queue).
Do those who use anticipatory scanning techniques seem to be better at their jobs than those who do not? Record in your notebook or on tape the forms the anticipatory scanning takes and the situations in which it most frequently occurs. What of the people who do not use it at all? How does its absence affect their work? What else do you notice about the use of anticipatory scanning in public contact situations?
Exercise review
You will probably have noticed that it is those who use anticipatory scanning techniques who are best at their jobs. In some way, the snippets of information about people yet to be attended to, which they obtain from these brief looks ahead, enable them to change their attitude and behaviour to fit the needs of the individual customer. In bars, it can enable bar staff to serve more than one person at once - they can be waiting for the money from someone who has just received a drink, be preparing the drink for the next person, taking an order from the next person and identifying the person who will be served after that. At airline check-ins, where there is a queue, those who use anticipatory scanning techniques will, as they are attending to one person, make periodic, brief glances down the line. They will be looking particularly for nervous travellers who may need a smile of reassurance and for those who are impatient at having to queue and who will need to be treated with additional tact.
What you should now do, if your own job involves public contact with a sequence of people, is to try to develop anticipatory scanning techniques for yourself. You should find that it not only increases your personal effectiveness but also improves your sense of job satisfaction.