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What is Meet Your Sweet?

What is Meet Your Sweet?

Your new life starts today. With MeetYourSweet.com, you get the ultimate toolkit to creating the success you crave in Life and Relationships.

We know that you’ve got the smarts to take care of most areas of your life. So why should dating and relationships be any different?

That’s why we here at MeetYourSweet.com take a life coach’s perspective to romance. We don’t want to give you a paint-by-numbers program or dumb down what it takes to master REAL success.

Rather, our goal is to empower you by giving you the life skills that you need to achieve a complete personal and social transformation…

…the kind that will have you feeling confident, secure, desirable, and powerful, no matter what challenge you face!

We’ve done the research, and we know what works. Our thoroughly researched, non-manipulative approach harnesses capacities that everyone has within them. Whether you’re male or female, young or old, single or in a relationship, we can help you become the absolute best you can be at relating with the opposite sex.

Just imagine it. Gone are the days of struggling to get a date. Gone are the days of struggling to keep someone attracted. Gone are the days of worrying about whether you’re good-looking enough, popular enough, or captivating enough or to get attention from the opposite sex!

With MeetYourSweet.com, you get expert advice from a team of the world’s greatest writers, life coaches, and counselors in the field of dating and relationships.

Every Meet Your Sweet course includes collaborations with top names in the field. Our team of contributing authors includes our very own Slade Shaw and Mirabelle Summers, as well as Amy Waterman from 000Relationships.com and Andrew Rusbatch from SaveMyMarriageToday.com.

So kickstart your personal and social transformation with MeetYourSweet.com. We look forward to hearing how our courses have changed you!

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What is Meet Your Sweet?

All Rights Reserved

Copyright © 2012 MeetYourSweet.com

No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or distributed in any form or by any means, electrical or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or

by any information storage or retrieval system without permission in writing from MeetYourSweet.com.

The information contained in this book is provided ‘as is’ without warranty of any kind. The entire risk as to the results and the performance of the information is assumed by the user, and in no event shall MeetYourSweet.com be liable for any

consequential, incidental or direct damages suffered in the course of using the information in this book.

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Table Of Contents

Table Of Contents

What is Meet Your Sweet? ...2

Introduction: Why You’re Here ...7

The Paleolithic Principle And The Dream Girl Factor Your 2 Keys To Lasting Relationship Success, Joy, And Loving, Rock-Solid Commitment ...13

Part One:

Making Your Man User-Friendly: Understanding The

Male Mind Before You Do Anything Else

Commitment 101: What Is Commitment, Anyway? ...18

If You Need Help Right Now ... ...23

What Do You Want From This Relationship? ...36

Exercise: Create 5 SMART Goals You Want From Your Partner ...39

Find Out What He Really Thinks: How To Talk To Him About Commitment, Closeness, And Your Future Together ...40

Are Your Hopes For The Relationship Unreasonable? How To Tell When You’re On The Right Track ...44

Navigating The 5 Stages Of Commitment: How To Get From “Hello” To “We’re Soulmates” In 5 Easy Steps ...48

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Table Of Contents

Part 2

How To Get Him To Focus On You By Giving Him What

He Doesn’t Even Realize He Needs

What Makes A Man Fall In Love? ...56

“But My Guy Already Knows How Much I Love Him, And He’s Still Pulling Away!” ...60

5 Ways To Talk To Him About Your Relationship To Keep Things Moving Forward .64

Part 3

Things That Drive Men Away

Nagging: Henpecking That Man Right Out Of Your Life ...74

Why Is He So Grumpy? Why Men Go Into “The Cave” ... And How To Bring Him Back Out ...79

Argue Like A Dreamgirl Instead Of Fighting Like A Shrew ...82

Why Do Men Cheat? How To “Other-Woman-Proof” Your Own Relationship ...88

What If He’s A Work Addict? ...96

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Table Of Contents

Part 4

How To Bring Him Closer

What Makes A Man Start Thinking About Forever? ...109 Keeping The Relationship Thriving ...113 References ...120

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Introduction: Why You’re Here

Introduction: Why You’re Here

Let me be clear: this is a book for women who want to know why the man in their life is “pulling away” from them.

You might have solid proof that he’s pulling away from you ... or you might just have that deep-down, nagging “gut feeling”.

You might be engaged already ... (heck, you might have been married for thirty years) ... or you might only have started dating yesterday.

Whatever the timeframe, the agonizing truth is that men pull away for all sorts of reasons - and none of them feel good while it’s happening.

But with the insights you’ll learn in this book, you will be flabbergasted at the incredible transformation you can create in your relationship - virtually overnight! If you read this book and make a solid commitment to internalize the lessons within and learn new ways to think about, talk to, and interact with your man, you’ll learn the truth about how men think and what they really feel - about you.

You’ll learn how to “control” his reactions to the real you so that you can open up, share your deepest truths, and be totally vulnerable around him ... all the while secure in the knowledge that this vulnerability and emotional openness is being reciprocated by him.

You’ll never have to feel like you’re “going out on a limb” or taking a risk with a man ever again ...

Because with the secrets that you’re about to discover, you’ll learn how to listen with

your heart to what he’s REALLY saying ...

... which means no more begging him to validate you ... ... no more feeling cold, empty, and insecure ...

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Introduction: Why You’re Here

... no more wondering why he’s not talking, why he’s not hugging you, why he’s not opening up about his feelings ...

... and no more “wondering what he’s thinking”, wondering what’s in his heart, or hoping for a verbal commitment from him EVER again!

(You’ll be so busy getting smothered in physical affection, tender “soul-gazing” eye contact, spontaneous love notes, sexy mid-afternoon text messages, and full-body bear hugs that “wondering how he feels about you” will be the LAST thing on your mind!)

You’ll learn how to get him to let down his “secret barricades” that no other woman has ever penetrated before ... so that you can “cross the moat” and come inside ... and see who he REALLY is.

(Hint: this is next-level “ninja” stuff, so be warned: once you get this figured out, he will imprint on you and will spend the rest of his life following you around like a helpless little puppy ... fixated on you, fantasizing about you, and unable to picture a future that doesn’t revolve around you!)

The information in this book all boils down to the key elements of understanding how a man’s mind and heart really works, and communicating with him in a way that makes him feel like king of the world ... just so long as he’s got you (his Queen) by his side.

You’ll learn how to set yourself up for a successful, happy, committed long-term relationship with a man (even if right now he feels like a total commitment-phobe and is constantly backing away from you) ...

... and you’ll learn how to do all this from a position of strength, security, and total feminine control - and the results will be so incredible that you’ll think you’ve transformed overnight into Aphrodite, the beautiful goddess of love.

I’ve spent a long time, and a LOT of energy, on this stuff.

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Introduction: Why You’re Here

researching, and learning what you’re about to learn.

One of the big things I’ve realized is that men are just as excited about commitment, love, and having a truly happy, sexy, loving relationship as YOU are...

... but, they feel things differently, they talk about them differently, and most importantly, they have a totally different set of “warning systems” ... alarm bells that let them know you may not be “The One” ... than you do.

And that all boils down to a lot of pain and broken relationships for everyone. If a woman doesn’t know much about a man and how his feelings about attraction, courtship, and commitment really work, then she’s going to run into a lot of problems in her relationships ...

... problems that prevent her from creating a relationship that lasts, and maybe even prevent her from ever experiencing true, lasting love.

But if that same woman knows how love and attraction really work - not just from her side, but how they work for men ...

If she knows how men think about commitment, what they need to feel in order to

want commitment, and what makes a man fall in love, settle down, and want to marry

...

And if she knows how to continually pre-empt and break down the barriers he periodically erects to keep her from getting closer and closer ...

Then she knows EVERYTHING about how to create and enjoy a lasting, happy relationship, and she’s empowered to experience real love with a man who is her emotional equal.

That’s where you’ll find The Paleolithic Principle handiest: a powerful, proven evolutionary fact that you can apply to ALL your relationships with men to become

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Introduction: Why You’re Here

The Key To Understanding Him Is Using And Applying

The Paleolithic Principle

You’ll learn how to get him to love you for your mind, not just your beautiful body … (remember, beauty fades, but a love based on who you are lasts forever!) … … as well as how to get him to trust you like he’s never trusted any other woman he’s ever known.

WHY?

Because, with the clear knowledge and wise, feminine understanding of how men think, feel, and function that you’ll gain from applying The Paleolithic Principle to your relationships and your partner, you will UNDERSTAND HIM like no other woman can.

And that simple fact will make ALL the difference in your relationships!

Remember, though: learning and applying radical new information to your life doesn’t happen in a split second.

The Chinese philosopher Confucius said, “Everything takes longer than we think it will” ... and the same is true here.

Don’t just read this book once and believe that’s all you need to do. Treat it as a workbook. Write in the margins. Do the exercises again and again. Come back to it often. Reread the parts that really “speak” to you.

And remember: to experience and enjoy the kind of magical relationship that you desire and deserve, you need to APPLY this information to your partner!

So don’t just read it, think about it, and talk about it: you’ve got to do it, too!

You’re about to embark on the most important journey you’ll ever make as a woman: The journey of transforming yourself into a woman who understands men, attracts

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Introduction: Why You’re Here

love, and maintains emotional closeness effortlessly ... and this transformation may very well be the most incredible, rewarding experience of your life. So treat it as such.

Don’t expect to become a virtuoso in the next 10 seconds. Instead, remember that learning to be great in relationships and great with men is like learning how to be a gourmet cook.

It takes practice and learning ... and it takes awhile to learn the basics.

Then, it takes a little while longer to put those lessons into practice and start turning out delicious meals regularly.

Even when you think you’ve got your gourmet skills down, there’ll still be nights when you scorch the eggs or burn the sugar without meaning to.

And sometimes it will feel as though all your effort and all your learning isn’t making any difference to the meals you’re trying to eat.

But if you keep at it, and don’t give up, eventually you’ll become not just a cook, but a chef ... someone who’s turned necessity into an artform, whose grace and excellence inspire others ...

... whose food is not only sustaining and nourishing but beautiful and delicious. So ... DON’T YOU DARE STOP READING AND REREADING THIS BOOK UNTIL

YOU ARE A MASTER CHEF!

People will change when they want to, not because you want them to. That’s an important lesson.

But the good news is, the skills you’ve already started to learn aren’t about changing the man in your life. He’s fine just the way he is (even if you may not think so right now.)

Instead, you’re learning how to change yourself, how to become a more skilled and proficient “man-whisperer”, so that you can get the results and the successes that

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Introduction: Why You’re Here

you deserve ... and when you experience the sweetness of victory, you’ll know that it’s all about you, YOUR strength and wisdom as a woman, and what you’ve chosen to achieve.

The more you understand about yourself and your habits with men, the more you discover about how men think and what this means for you ...

And the more you’ll find yourself able to create the kind of lasting joy and true, committed love that women EVERYWHERE long for like nothing else.

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The Paleolithic Principle And The Dream Girl Factor

The Paleolithic Principle And

The Dream Girl Factor

Your 2 Keys To Lasting Relationship Success, Joy,

And Loving, Rock-Solid Commitment

As you’ll learn throughout this book, a man falls in love (and stays in love) based on

how a woman makes him feel about himself when he’s with her.

Knowing that simple fact is the key to your success - as you’re about to discover. To write this book, I surveyed thousands of men and women - people just like you - to find out what men really think about women, love, sex, and commitment; what questions women really want answered about the men in their lives; and how to boil it all down into a few simple, easily-applicable principles that you can use to improve your love life RIGHT NOW.

This book takes the form of a Q&A: your most pressing questions answered, by real

live men. I’ve read their results, peeked into their minds, and gotten them to unload

some of their deepest, most personal secrets - yep, this is real “locker-room stuff” that women have never heard before.

The 2 main principles in play?

The Paleolithic Principle, where you’ll learn how to alter his gut-level, emotional

feelings about himself when he’s with you.

As you’ll see, this is the key to his heart.

And empowering him to feel like his best self when he’s around you will lock you in a permanent emotional clinch with this man that not even Arnold Schwarzenegger could rip apart.

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Your 2 Keys To Lasting Relationship Success, Joy, And Loving, Rock-Solid Commitment

The Paleolithic Principle is based on sound evolutionary science and the basic principles of human anthropology. Put simply, it comes from the fact that the male

brain is wired VERY differently from the female brain.

(I know … duh, right?)

But in all seriousness, this has a massive impact on your life and the quality of your relationships with men. Once you learn how men prioritize things differently to you, how men feel and deal with their emotions differently from you, and WHY this is happening …

… you will LITERALLY experience a LOVE BOMB exploding in your very own living room!

The nature of your relationships and the level of true emotional closeness you experience with men will drastically transform INSTANTLY, and you will become the kind of woman that every man DREAMS of getting:

You’ll be that rarest of women: the one who actually UNDERSTANDS what he’s thinking and how he experiences relationships.

Next, there’s The Dreamgirl Factor, where you’ll learn how to slough off your habitual, unattractive, fear-based responses to his distance and aloofness; and instead, break out your natural “dream-girl” response to enable his masculinity and trigger your own femininity without a second glance.

You’re about to learn that men desire movement and momentum in their relationships like NOTHING else.

Look at it this way: you know that feeling of boredom and “blah-ness” you get when you feel like he’s ignoring you, like he’s not recognizing and appreciating all your amazing, attractive feminine qualities, and how he’s just not really “there”?

Well, HE feels that way, too – and he hates it just as much as you do! … Only, he feels it when things feel “motionless” in the relationship.

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Your 2 Keys To Lasting Relationship Success, Joy, And Loving, Rock-Solid Commitment

For a man to experience fun, excitement, and anticipation in his romantic

relationships, he needs you to trigger his “hunter/protector” instinct and CRAVE to cherish and protect you …

And you’re about to learn EXACTLY how to do that, so the two of you can experience lasting bliss that grows more powerful over time, instead of fading back into dreary loneliness and neutrality!

As you’ll see, femininity is what really draws in a masculine man like a moth to a flame - and once you learn how to act like a dream girl, you’ll have NO troubles keeping him close and connected!

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Part One: Making Your Man User-Friendly: Understanding The Male Mind Before You Do Anything Else

Part One:

Making Your Man User-Friendly:

Understanding The Male Mind Before

You Do Anything Else

This is a book about getting closer to your man.

It’s a book about getting more - way more - of your needs met.

And it’s a book about understanding why he creates distance, why he hides the truth from you, and why he’s afraid to tell you what he’s really thinking about, feeling, and secretly wishing you would do.

In other words, why you aren’t getting the kind of commitment you want and need and deserve to get.

The first step is to understand what’s really going on inside his cranium. Men think differently from women (duh), they feel differently, and they prioritize different things. Until you understand a few basic facts about the male mind and how it works - like, what’s REALLY happening when he goes quiet ... why won’t he open up about his feelings ... and why does he always try to tell you what to do (and then get upset when you don’t take his advice?) ...

... until you understand what’s happening BEHIND these outcomes, you’ll stay stuck in the dark for a long time to come.

You want your man to feel committed to you, right? Emotionally bonded, open and vulnerable and authentic, connected, and so close that nothing could come between you or shatter your bond.

Well, great. We’re about to do just that.

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Part One:Making Your Man User-Friendly: Understanding The Male Mind Before You Do Anything Else

“commitment” really mean, anyway? What kind of commitment do YOU want?

What should you expect from a committed man?

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Commitment 101: What Is Commitment, Anyway?

Commitment 101:

What Is Commitment, Anyway?

So what is commitment, really?

If you’re anything like most women, you know that you want a committed relationship with a man ... but when pressed, you have a hard time nailing it down any further than that.

Do you want a wedding ring? Do you want kids?

Do you want a house together, a man who takes out the trash every Wednesday, and who takes all the overtime he can get just to provide for you back at home?

Or do you just want a man who loves you, who wants you to be happy ... and to feel the same way about him?

The truth is, commitment is much, much more than just a wedding ring or a set of vows.

In fact, even though most women tend to place a lot of value on spoken words of commitment and love - “I love you, I love only you, I want to be with you forever” ... ... when it comes to true commitment, words are actually pretty much meaningless. A man could tell you that he loves you and wants to be with you until he’s literally blue in the face, but that doesn’t mean anything unless the feelings are there to back those words up.

To a man, real commitment comes from a deep-down feeling - a soul feeling - that something is right and good, that you make him really happy, and that he simply

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Commitment 101: What Is Commitment, Anyway?

In other words, you need to get this fact about men:

To the male mind, commitment happens when he’s happy being around you. So if he’s clearly happy being with you – he laughs a lot when he talks to you, he smiles when he sees you, he hugs you a lot, he tries to take care of you, he goes out of his way to make sure you feel safe and happy – then you can bet that he’s feeling the commitment, all right … even if he hasn’t talked about it AT ALL yet. Commitment doesn’t happen because you talk about it a lot, it doesn’t happen because you gave him an ultimatum (“Marry me or I’m outta here!”) ...

... and it can’t be faked, pressured, or asked for.

“If the commitment’s not there, it’s time to move on”

- Larry Flynt, Esquire Magazine

The truth is, real commitment is something that just happens naturally when two people are really happy together. It has nothing to do with promises, obligations, or even legal contracts like a marriage contract.

Why?

Because if commitment has to be enforced, asked for, or extorted out of him, it

was never a true commitment in the first place!

Think about it this way: picture something you really LOVE to do.

If you thought about your absolute favorite thing to do - whether that’s dancing wildly with your girlfriends, driving down the interstate with the wind in your hair, or simply lying luxuriously on the couch and eating chocolate-fudge-chunk ice cream ...

... and then I said to you, “Okay, I want you to make a commitment to eating chocolate ice cream and going dancing 3 times a week for the rest of your life” ...

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Commitment 101: What Is Commitment, Anyway?

What would you do?

Chances are, you’d laugh hysterically and then say, “But I was planning on doing that anyway!”

... see what I mean?

When you really love someone , when that person makes you feel really, really happy

inside, then commitment just happens naturally all by itself. Perfectly. Deeply.

Permanently. And in its own, sweet time (not because you hounded him into saying the words you want to hear!)

It doesn’t have to be forced. It doesn’t have to happen under duress. And it sure doesn’t come about as a result of having The Talk, issuing ultimatums, or threatening to leave unless he promises that he loves you.

So if you’re worried that he’s not committed to you yet, because he’s constantly pulling away from you and putting up boundaries and barriers ...

... the first thing you need to do is relax and take a deep, deep breath. Heck, make it 10 deep breaths!

The second thing you need to do is to remember this:

For men, commitment happens naturally. It’s a natural byproduct of being happy with a woman and loving who she is and how he feels when he’s with her.

So if you feel like the man in your life isn’t committed to you yet ... or if you can sense that he’s pulling away EMOTIONALLY even though he’s still saying the words of commitment that he thinks you want to hear ...

... don’t try to talk about it yet or have any deep, soul-searching conversations. And definitely don’t give him any ultimatums!

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Commitment 101: What Is Commitment, Anyway?

Ultimatums Will Destroy His Love For You, Even If On

The Surface They Seem To Be Working.

You’re about to learn what’s happening BEHIND the facade so that you can turn around those feelings of doubt and distance that your woman’s intuition is warning you about.

You can’t make those feelings go away by talking about them. You can’t change the way he feels about you by forcing him to say that he loves you or even making him promise to marry you.

What you CAN do is learn what he needs ... what YOU need ... and then learn how to put those your hands together, so that you can create the kind of relationship so fun, so satisfying, so connected and loving and REAL, that you won’t have to worry about commitment or whether he’s feeling “connected” to you - those things will literally take care of themselves!

So sit tight. Don’t make any sudden moves.

Even if things feel really distant and scary right now, that’s okay - you’re about to learn how to completely turn your relationship around and break all those barriers down into flecks of dust, so the two of you can hug, squeeze each other tight, and become emotional confidantes - the kind of couple that everyone else secretly envies! But remember, it won’t happen by forcing him to talk about it, so DON’T GO THERE YET.

The scary truth is, you can do much more harm than good by trying out a “State of the Nation” talk with your man.

I know you can sense distance there, and that’s why you’re reading this book. And it’s good that you’re tuned-in to his feelings and that you can sense shifts in the balance of your relationship.

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Commitment 101: What Is Commitment, Anyway?

(you don’t have the necessary tools yet … even though you’re about to in about, oh, 10 minutes from now!)

You need to learn what’s going on before you get behind the wheel and turn the key in the ignition.

Crawl before you walk ... walk before you run ... and learn the road rules before you drive that Lamborghini!

So here’s what’ll happen next …

ü You’re about to learn what you really want out of a truly committed, truly happy, close relationship.

ü You’ll learn what you can expect from a man who’s committed to you. ü And then you’ll learn how to make him WANT to commit to you (even

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

If You Need Help Right Now ...

If your relationship really feels “on the rocks” and you need help right now, BEFORE you go any further, here are 10 fast, immediate do’s and don’ts you can use to drastically improve the quality of your relationship and start melting his “distance” away right now.

This will tide you over until you have a chance to absorb the wisdom and understanding you’re about to get from reading the rest of this book.

5 Man-Friendly Do’s:

Do be really, really HAPPY!

Men find happiness attractive more than anything else.

And the most attractive form of happiness of all? Being happy with him! When a woman he cares about is happy, he’ll instinctively feel like he’s “winning”: like he’s fulfilling his role as protector and provider, and is living up to your needs.

You don’t know it yet, but this is absolutely key to a man’s heart and love. And it all boils down to the Paleolithic Principle we were talking about earlier on.

Remember, men need to feel like they’re winning. Their minds are so tuned-in to killing that deer, bringing home the bacon, fighting off marauding tribesmen, and keeping the family safe and provided for … in other words, ACHIEVING and PROVIDING for who he cares about (that’s YOU!)

As a man, he NEEDS to feel like he’s “winning”. And as a woman, YOU have the

ability to give him that precious gift more than anyone else in the world.

And the best, most powerful way of letting him “win”, in a way that’ll communicate with his soul and empower his masculinity like NOTHING else?

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

This is incredibly powerful stuff that will trigger an irresistible gut-level attraction, and an automatic, “instinctual” sense of commitment so strong that he won’t even

realize it’s happening - he’ll be too busy FEELING it instead.

“Happy, happy, happy, sexy, happy”

- Michael, 29, on the top 5 characteristics a dream

woman would have

Put it this way: if you’re unhappy with your relationship, he’ll sense it - and he’ll NEVER want to commit to you.

Why?

Because most men’s biggest, most terrifying, top-secret fear is not making

you happy.

His entire sense of self-worth and masculinity is based on his achievements: how

well he does at work, how well he does his job, and most of all, how well he does

with YOU.

Here’s how the male mind thinks about this stuff: a man who does great with the woman in his life is obviously a real man. (Hey, I didn’t write the rules. This is just how things are.)

And when you let him know how happy you are with him and the relationship in general?

He’ll feel like a god - and he’ll transfer those feelings onto YOU!

For him to reach out and lavish you with joy, happiness, love, intimacy, emotional openness and commitment, he needs to FEEL like a strong, successful man.

If he doesn’t feel that way, it’s going to be very hard for him to reach out towards

you at all – he’ll feel so weak and small and shameful that he won’t have any energy or desire to give YOU what YOU need.

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

That’s just how men are.

So let yourself be happy – really, REALLY happy - and love every minute of what you’ve got with the man in your life RIGHT NOW, whatever that may look like. Not for what it might be in the future. Not for what it could be. For what is, in this moment right NOW!

Figure out what makes you happy right now, and then be happy with it - whether things are “perfect” or not, whether he’s “committed” or not, and whether things are “just how you always imagined” or not.

Because when he sees (and more importantly, feels) how happy YOU are, he’ll begin to feel stronger, more powerful, and more like the provider he was designed to be … and he’ll associate those powerful, positive feelings with you.

Do use the Paleolithic Principle and express LOTS of

warm, loving, feminine affection for him!

When you get right down to it, the one thing that makes a man happier than anything else is his ability to make YOU happy.

This makes him feel really happy and really fulfilled, almost like he’s “succeeding at life”. (Wow!)

If you want your man to really “glow” inside and to really crave your company and feel literally addicted to YOU, you need to learn how to make him feel good about himself. And you give him permission to do so by obviously liking him a lot yourself. A recent survey by Men’s Health revealed that 70 percent of men think that regular compliments directed their way are incredibly important (Zinczenko, 78) ... and not just important, but downright necessary for their feelings of

happiness and fulfillment in a relationship.

You know how you feel when you get all gussied up in a great dress or a hot pair of jeans, and he doesn’t say anything other than the obligatory, “You look nice”?

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

Well, guys are just the same way.

Secretly, he’s hoping you’ll notice his good looks, how great he looks in that suit, how broad his shoulders are ... and that you’ll comment on them, out loud, where he can hear (bonus points if other people can hear, too.)

We all like to be liked. And if you want your guy to cherish you, then start expressing what it is you like about him - a lot.

Say it out loud. Write him notes. Leave him a card. Use words and TELL HIM what made you fall for him – and keep falling for him every day.

Use your body to say it, too. Yes, you can initiate lovemaking more, but there are other options too: pat him on the butt when you walk past in the hallway. Kiss him softly on the cheek when you see him in the morning (or just for any old reason, actually, is even better.)

Squeeze his bicep, hug him close, whisper sweet nothings in his ear. (There’s just something about whispering that’s sexier than talking out loud.)

Tell him how lucky you feel to have him in your life, how idiotic his ex was to let him slip through her fingers, how cute he looks with 4 days’ worth of stubble ... whatever it takes to let him know that he’s not taken for granted.

Because when he knows he’s making you happy, he’ll want to KEEP making you happy. A little bit of oil is all that’s needed to get the machine moving!

Do break out your best, shiniest, most feminine “bait”!

Analogy time:

If you’re the hook ... and a happy, loving relationship with the man you love is the big, shiny fish you’re hoping to snag ... then you need to know one thing:

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

“The fish does not go for the hook, but after the bait”

- Czech proverb

Fish don’t bite hooks. They go for the bait!

And while your intelligence, your wit, your love of animals, and your cheerful, engaging, attractive personality may be the hook (what will actually “snag” that fish),

your appearance is the bait ...

And your bait is what causes the fish to bite in the first place!

If you want your man to bite - and keep biting, hard - you need to make your bait as attractive as possible.

So polish it up. Get out the juicy stuff.

The better your bait, the bigger the fish you’ll attract ... and the more voraciously he’ll chomp onto that shiny, sharp hook waiting beneath ... and then boom! You’ve caught yourself the hunky, super-sized catfish that everyone else has been drooling over for years.

This is nothing to obsess about. You don’t have to rush out and get yourself waxed and plucked within an inch of your life (although it wouldn’t hurt.)

Perfection is not required - and you don’t have to be “beautiful” or “gorgeous”, either.

But you do have to make the best of what you’ve got - and at least try to look good!

In practical terms: don’t scrimp on basic attraction. Wash your face, floss and gargle, and make a point of really putting yourself together whenever you leave the house. (Even if it’s just to the grocery store – do it anyway. You’ll look good, and you’ll FEEL good: like a strong, confident, attractive woman.)

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

face, not the bog covering it.) Dress well, in clothes that flatter your body and feel good on your skin - and in a size that fits your body as it is right now (not what you’d LIKE it to be. Pinched skin and bulging fat make nobody feel sexy.)

Don’t turn into one of those women who just wear bathrobes and sweat pants around the house all weekend. Break out the stretchy jeans. Try a v-necked shirt once in awhile. A little lipgloss does wonders. Don’t give up on looking good just because you’re older or you’ve been together for ages!

And take care of yourself, too, so that you’ll glow on the inside as well as the outside: get 9 hours of sleep nightly. Sweat once a day, to let your skin regenerate. Take spirulina. Brush your teeth.

You know - be the woman that you’d want to check out if you were a guy.

Because even though he’ll never admit it, secretly, he wants you to make that effort. He wants to enjoy checking out your butt when you bend over to get the coffee cups. And he wants to know that the “spark” that makes you go to all that effort in the first place - the spark you feel for yourself, the spark that lights up when you know you look good, the spark you feel for for HIM - is still there.

Do let your feminine personality shine!

Let’s not mince words: femininity is what attracts a man. And the more masculine he is, the more he’ll appreciate a feminine woman. (Here’s that Masculinity Mastery principle at work again!)

Now, before you go getting all up in arms about women’s rights and so on, just back down and take a deep breath, because this has nothing to do with equal pay or glass ceilings or any of that jazz.

It simply means that you let yourself FEEL like a woman ... that you ACT like a woman ... and that, by so doing, you give him permission to act like the strong,

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

capable, masculine man that he’s hoping you recognize him as.

Don’t have long hair and don’t like skirts … or scream at the sight of a spider? Not to worry, because being feminine isn’t about being a ridiculous, helpless 50’s pinup.

This is about your inner femininity. Beauty fades anyway, and without the inner qualities that make him melt, all the dangly earrings in the world aren’t going to help out here.

So instead of relying on the high heels and blusher, get in touch with what it is that makes you feel feminine on the inside.

Work on developing your feminine emotional range - the qualities that turn the head (and heart) of a real “man’s man”.

Those qualities include joy, warmth, love, compassion, sympathy, sensitivity, sweetness, tolerance, positivity, and acceptance.

Bring them into your daily interactions and watch the “jolt” they’ll give him (and the surprising pleasure it’ll bring you to emphasize these womanly traits in your own character!)

Plenty of times, women get lost in their more “masculine” traits of decision-making, problem-solving, fault-finding and confrontation. They become hard and stony, without even realizing it.

Men love it when you act like a woman, because that gives him permission to act - and feel - like a man ... without even thinking about it.

Bring these qualities into your life and let them shine from your spirit. Start focusing on exhibiting the key essences of femininity that men find so alluring: confidence, generosity, sweetness, security, sensuousness, and attractiveness.

You’ll almost immediately notice him giving more hugs, paying more notice to you, and craving your attention and support.

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

Do give him permission to love you well by giving

yourself what you need!

If you want to attract the kind of love and happiness into your life that you’ve always dreamed of getting, then there’s one thing you need to do before that will happen: Love yourself most of all!

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they can treat you any old way they like. Now is not the time to turn into a doormat or let your partner walk all over you. Know what you deserve and set yourself up for success. Act like a dreamgirl: prioritize your own happiness and really love yourself!

In practical terms, that means 2 things:

First, prioritize self-care. Take really good care of your body and soul: pamper yourself

with self-care wherever possible. Don’t work yourself into the ground. Create space in your life to relax and feel happy, healthy, and sane.

Second, practice setting boundaries. Remember, the relationship you have right now

is setting the scene for what’s to come, so if anything happens that upsets you or bothers you, talk about it immediately so that you can both deal with it and put the issue to rest. Stand up for yourself when you need to.

And remember: by loving yourself, you give the people in your life permission to love you too. Your partner is unconsciously modeling his treatment of you on your

treatment of yourself. So treat yourself well and don’t take any crap just because

you’re hoping for a “committed relationship” someday!

5 Man-Friendly Don’ts:

Don’t force things or rush him

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

can cause you to panic and try to “lock it down” “while you still have a chance”.

Don’t!

This kind of panic-stricken catastrophizing can make an otherwise-smart woman make all kinds of crazy mistakes - mistakes that can literally end your relationship if you’re not careful.

Here’s the deal: any decisions made out of fear or insecurity are doomed to fail. Your partner will sense that you’re trying to get a commitment out of something less than pure love and gratitude, and - like any sane red-blooded male - he’ll be turned off by the desperation and lack of respect implied.

Don’t try to force your partner to commit or have “The Talk” as a way of guaranteeing you won’t be left behind. Talking about love won’t make him fall in love! Be secure in yourself and don’t put pressure on the two of you. Love and commitment happen in

their own time, according to nobody’s timeline - have faith that it will happen when

the time is right.

Don’t insist on constant attention and reassurance

Nobody loves neediness. And the worst thing about it is that it comes from uncertainty ... and causes more uncertainty!

Some women (especially when they’re feeling anxious about the future) require constant infusions of attention and verbal, physical, and psychological reminders of their partner’s love for them.

This can add to the emotional “pressure-cooker” atmosphere and make it seem like you’re a high-maintenance kinda woman ... not attractive and not what you need right now!

Even though it’s scary, now is your chance to rise to the occasion and PROVE that you have faith in your partner, yourself, and your connection by refusing to freak out

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

and refusing to drive him away with your need.

Trust me: at some point he’s going to notice your lack of freak-outedness and be impressed by it. And paradoxically, that’s when your decision not to require constant reassurance will result in just that.

Don’t turn yourself into a doormat

Fact: in romantic relationships, there is nothing more tantalizing to a man than a woman who knows who she is - and who takes pride in that fact.

Confident women are in very short supply - and smart men tend to like confident women the most. Confident women are the dreamgirls.

Think about it: putting his needs first, accepting his opinions without comment, taking his advice on your clothing, work issues, friendships and social life, and catering to his moods, insecurities, and fears ...?

Maybe that works in a Good Housekeeping magazine from the 50s, but in real life, the only result you’ll get from turning yourself into a doormat is the sound of the front door hitting him in the butt on his way out.

Women who have dignity, pride, and self-respect are attractive to men.

When you know your own mind, you don’t take crap from anyone (including him) - and suddenly it becomes clear that you’re a woman who stands on her own two feet. Guess what?

Begging and groveling for commitment, love, and connection is counterproductive.

But when you know who you are and you show that you have self-respect, you show him that you don’t “need” him after all ... which is what gives him the space to respect you.

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

And that’s when he discovers how much he actually does care after all. What does this mean in practical terms?

Don’t worry so much about censoring yourself. Say what you think. Don’t fixate on

making a “mistake that could cost you the relationship”.

Just relax, be yourself, and remember that people who are “trying too hard” are actually harder work to be around!

Also: if he pulls away, don’t immediately rush after him.

Avoid these common phrases:

• You seem distant. • Are you mad at me? • What are you thinking? • Is everything okay?

• Did I do something wrong?

If you sense him pulling back, you’ve got to LET him. Because space, distance, and that sense of “movement” is what creates powerful attraction and urgency in a man. If you don’t give him the space he’s trying to create, he never gets to feel that sense of urgency or motion …

… and you’ve just made it harder for him to want you!

If you’re constantly dancing attendance and preempting any trouble, you’ll freak him out and come across as high-maintenance - and you sure won’t have any fun, either! So: relax. Be who you are. If this is going to work, it’ll work because the two of you are a great match - not because you tried really, really hard to always say the right thing.

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

Don’t play dumb games.

When there’s a lot at stake, sometimes the temptation to play dirty or break the rules can be overwhelming.

But here’s the thing: any strategy that requires you to compromise who you are or take a step down the moral ladder is NOT worth it.

Manipulation, trying to “trick” your partner into giving you a ring, deliberately creating jealousy, or trying to keep them on the back foot is simply not worth it.

These things always backfire sooner or later - and even if he never figures out how you played him, you’ll always know. And that knowledge will poison any happiness you might otherwise have had.

For a relationship to work, two people have to be equals and to treat each other

as equals. So before you act, ask yourself this: if your partner knew what you were

planning, would you be ashamed of yourself?

Don’t expect him to love you “no matter what”!

Here’s a little-known fact: in romantic relationships, unconditional love simply doesn’t exist.

When people love each other, it’s because they’re getting something out of that relationship that makes them feel good. So if you’re not making your partner feel good in at least some ways, what possible reason could he have to stay?

It’s not cold-blooded. It’s simply the way things are.

Women who stubbornly expect to be loved “just as they are”, who won’t even consider smoothing off some of their rough edges, don’t end up in happy relationships - because relationships are about partnership, which means you care about making your partner happy just as much as you want to be happy yourself.

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If You Need Help Right Now ...

The truth is, you may need to change some of the less-attractive, less easy-to-get-along-with parts of yourself in order to make this relationship work.

So take a look at yourself. Do you know - deep down - what those parts may be? And are you willing to change, if it means the difference between your partner choosing

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What Do You Want From This Relationship?

What Do You Want From This

Relationship?

It’s true that back in the 1800s, the sole purpose of marriage was two-fold: • To raise children, and

• To create financial security (mostly for the wife, who was completely dependent on a man for property, physical safety, and the ability to put food on the table.)

But these days, things have changed. Women don’t need men any more in order to own property, earn money, enjoy security, or have fulfilling, satisfying lives.

You don’t even need men to raise children any more - at least, not financially or for reasons of security.

According to a 2002 study at the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, what men and women both want from a lasting relationship is both simpler and more difficult than it used to be …

We don’t want children or financial security. What we want is a soulmate.

So here’s the deal.

Even though past relationships may have left you feeling angry, tired, exhausted, and emotionally burned-out, there’s no good reason why you should give up on your dream of creating and holding onto your perfect relationship.

But you do have to know what you want from that perfect relationship. What does commitment really mean to you? Does it mean “kids and a house”?

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What Do You Want From This Relationship?

Does it mean living together? Does it mean a ring on your finger?

Does it just mean dating a guy who’s crazy about you, and who lets you know that every day?

(And bear in mind that living together is not necessarily the same thing as commitment! In fact, studies show that people who live together before marriage are actually more likely to divorce.)

So let’s figure out what your goals are for your relationship: where do you really

want this to go?

Life coaches know that goals are most attainable when they are SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.

So, to drastically increase your chances of success, you need to map out what you want in detail.

Here’s how.

Make your goals SMART...

Specific: Know what you want.

Do you want to get married? Would you be happy just living together? Do you want a simple acknowledgment that he loves you? Or do you need 3 kids and a mortgage? Figure out what you want, and be SPECIFIC.

Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved what you want?

You need to set milestones so that you know when you’re moving closer towards your dream.

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What Do You Want From This Relationship?

treading water, which can lead to feelings of frustration and panic.

For example, for more established couples, moving in together might be a milestone; whereas for new couples, simply meeting his parents or his friends is a milestone. Attainable: When you figure out the goals that are the most important to you, your brain automatically begins to adjust and figure out ways to make those goals achievable. So don’t be put off by the fact that things might seem really dark and dire right now. What your brain can conceive, you can achieve - and the first step is acknowledging what you want!

Realistic: To be realistic, your goals must represent an achievement which you are

willing and able to work towards.

Your goals can still be huge and exciting - in fact, they should be! The bigger an achievement, the more exciting the prospect is - which actually exerts more motivational pull, a little like how bigger planets exert more gravity.

Timely: Ground your goals within a specific timeframe.

You need a sense of urgency for your brain to start making those natural adjustments towards success: so when do you want your commitment milestones to happen by? (Don’t let yourself get too bent out of shape if everything doesn’t adhere strictly to your timeframe - life’s like that. This is about making stuff happen, not fixating on calendar time.)

It’s one thing to want “a committed relationship.”

It’s quite another to know what that commitment means - to be able to sit down and say, “I want a partner who’s my soulmate, I want us to be best friends, and I want us to start living together in the next 12 months.”

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Exercise: Create 5 SMART Goals You Want From Your Partner

Exercise: Create 5 SMART Goals You

Want From Your Partner

Take a minute now to figure out what you really want from your partner.

Now is the time to be as specific as possible: remember, the more detailed and SMART your goals are, the more likely you are to achieve them within the timeframe you want. Remember to make them Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and

Timely.

So, don’t just say “I want him to value me more.” Say, “I want to meet his friends, I want to meet his parents, and I want us to have dinner together 3 nights a week with no cellphones, no TV, and no interruptions.”

Here, now it’s your turn!

What I’d love from my partner is:

1. _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ ________________ 2. _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ ________________ 3. _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ ________________ 4. _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ ________________ 5. _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ ________________

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Find Out What He Really Thinks: How To Talk To Him About Commitment, Closeness, And Your Future Together

Find Out What He Really Thinks:

How To Talk To Him About

Commitment, Closeness, And

Your Future Together

“Where is this going? Are you dating other women? Do we have a future together? Are we ever going to get married? When will I meet your parents? How soon do you want children?”

STOP!!

Before you try to get your partner to stop backing off, stop backing away, and commit

to you, you need to understand one thing:

Men think very differently about commitment than women do!

The sad truth is, most men are “trained” from early childhood to believe that when a woman starts talking about “commitment”, what she’s really talking about is proposal and a ring.

Think about it: they see television shows and movie scenes about weddings where a heaving scrum of women fight viciously to catch the bouquet.

They hear their female friends and sisters obsessing about finding the perfect dress, napkins that match the bridesmaid dresses, and what flavor the wedding cake should be ... before they’ve even had a proposal.

They see their baby nieces playing with “Wedding Barbie”, lovingly dressing her over and over again in the big white dress and tiara.

They’ve been trained to believe that women are OBSESSED with marriage!

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Find Out What He Really Thinks: How To Talk To Him About Commitment, Closeness, And Your Future Together

So remember: your guy doesn’t necessarily know what you really mean when you want to talk about commitment.

He literally doesn’t know what you mean by that word!

You and I both know that “commitment” could mean any number of things, from “I just want to make sure you’re not sleeping with other women” to “I’m totally crazy about you” ...

... but he doesn’t know that!

“We’re a lot more sensitive than you think. Talk to us

about your problems, concerns and fears when they

arise, not when they’ve built up into something much

bigger and then explode.”

- Jake, 34

As far as he knows, until you communicate otherwise, when you make noises about the future or ask him where he thinks this might be going, you’re actually trying

to lock him down into getting down on one knee right there and then!

Of course, CONSCIOUSLY he knows that’s not true ...

... but emotionally, his alarm-bells are ringing and triggering that deep, instinctive urge to back off before anybody gets hurt.

So you have to make it CLEAR to him what you mean when you talk about the future, commitment, or “where things are going”.

(Hint: that’s why you spent a few minutes in the previous chapter figuring out what you actually want!)

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Find Out What He Really Thinks: How To Talk To Him About Commitment, Closeness, And Your Future Together

doesn’t have to deal with a lurking, shadowy, unspoken fear that you might be trying to “lock him down” so you can dress him up in a powder-blue morning suit and get his gawky adolescent nephew to slip a garter around your thigh.

That way, instead of hinting vaguely about the future (and freaking the poor lad right out), you can use your SMART goals and actually get what you want ... without ruffling any feathers.

Remember, one of the most important things you can do in ANY relationship with a man is to make him feel like he could be the one to make you happy.

Because he WANTS to make you happy. He wants to be “that guy”.

But if you aren’t clear about what you really need, exactly, in order to be happy, then you run the definite risk of triggering his “marriage fear” and making him think you’re asking for a proposal ahead of schedule!

“Please, please, please … don’t try to rush us into

anything. We don’t fall in love because you talk about

it a lot or try to make us marry you. We’ll do it, sure …

but when WE’RE ready. Use a light touch!”

- Robin, 32, on marriage and girlfriends

(Of course, you still have to make sure you’ve done your homework ... that is to say, you practice good communication habits throughout your entire relationship. This isn’t something you can just turn on and off like a switch when you want more from him. I’ll talk more about healthy communication, and how to use it to get closer to him, later in the book.)

So what does all this mean in practical terms?

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Find Out What He Really Thinks: How To Talk To Him About Commitment, Closeness, And Your Future Together

... you could say something like, “You’re so great to hang out with - I’d really love for us to be able to spend 2 or 3 nights together a week on a regular basis.”

Remember: he’s a guy. He wants to feel like he’s winning. And for a guy to feel like he’s winning, he needs to feel like he’s making you supremely happy.

When he knows what you want (and when it’s clear that what you want isn’t six matching bridesmaids and a troupe of groomsmen all trussed up in matching tuxedos) and he can actually give you what you want, then everybody’s happy: you AND him. Give him a chance to win!

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Are Your Hopes For The Relationship Unreasonable? How To Tell When You’re On The Right Track

Are Your Hopes For The Relationship

Unreasonable? How To Tell When

You’re On The Right Track

Now that you’ve written down what you want for your relationship and you’ve considered that “commitment” means something completely different for most men, it’s time to figure out whether what you want is indeed reasonable ... or whether you’ve got your head stuck firmly in the clouds.

Consider the following:

Is his “lack of commitment” or “distance” really just

unrealistic expectations on your part?

Many women tell me that what they really want from their partner is more time

together. They want him to turn off the TV, tell his friends to go home, or just come

home from the gym and hang out with THEM.

But before you go asking him to change his schedule around ...

... or feeling “left out” because he’s not by your side as often as you’d like ...

Take a step back and remember that commitment naturally increases relative to the

depth your relationship is at.

What this means is that, if you’ve only just started dating this man, it would indeed be unreasonable to expect him to reserve every Saturday night for you alone (and this goes double if you haven’t talked about dating exclusively yet.)

As I’ll explain later in the book, there are definite stages to commitment - and you

can’t skip stages without the whole thing crumbling into dust.

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Are Your Hopes For The Relationship Unreasonable? How To Tell When You’re On The Right Track

where your relationship is really at, and whether you could be mistaking your own unreasonable expectations as “lack of commitment” on his part.

(Hint: if you realize that this is the case, don’t beat yourself up - it’s actually a GOOD

thing!)

Realizing that your partner isn’t being distant or cold - that it’s a simple mistake on your behalf that’s easily rectifiable with what you’re about to learn in this book - is great news, because now you can move smoothly forward into the relationship you truly want ... without needless worry about his feelings for you!

Every relationship needs a balance of “me time” and “we

time”

No matter how long you’ve been together for, all relationships need a balance of “me

time” and “we time” in order to be healthy, energized, and full of life.

Let me give you an example of what I mean.

Sarah and Chris just started dating last month. At first, they were crazy about each other: they had so much to talk about, they were constantly laughing and touching each other affectionately, and their sex-life was dynamite.

They were both convinced they’d finally found “the perfect person” and couldn’t stop grinning about their good luck.

But as the days went by, things seemed to subtly change. They had less to talk about. Their conversations began to die down and silence began to blossom between them. They didn’t find so much to laugh about, and Sarah even began to find herself feeling irritated by small habits of Chris’s that she’d previously found adorable.

They found themselves feeling less passionate about each other, and Chris began to wish that Sarah would give him a bit of time by himself every now and then.

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Are Your Hopes For The Relationship Unreasonable? How To Tell When You’re On The Right Track

Things started to feel stale, flat, and old ... and neither of them had any idea why. The more I talked to this energetic young couple, the more I realized that the issue here wasn’t “lack of affection” or “lack of a future” or “boredom with each other” ... ... it was a simple lack of “me time” on both their parts!

When you take time AWAY from a relationship, you actually infuse yourself (and your partner) with fresh energy and life.

Taking “me time” creates new possibilities and powers fresh, exciting conversations - you both have time to feel revitalized, and bring that new energy back to the relationship.

This isn’t about arbitrarily spending time away from your partner or pretending to be too busy to see him.

Instead, it’s about spending just enough time away from each other that you feel energized and enthusiastic. You have new experiences, and new things to talk about. You get the enjoyment of looking forward to telling your partner about “what happened today”.

You maybe even get to miss each other a little bit!

The world is an exciting place, and forcing yourself to experience it only through the lens of relationship is a guaranteed way to create fatigue - and boredom in your relationship.

You can avoid this by creating a balance of “me time” versus “we time” in your relationship - absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you’ll actually strengthen your bond by taking a little time away from it.

You might need to change your ideas, not your partner!

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Are Your Hopes For The Relationship Unreasonable? How To Tell When You’re On The Right Track

It’s natural to feel excited and want more for the two of you. But putting pressure on your partner to fulfill unreasonable expectations is a recipe for disaster, not committed love.

Chances are that if your expectations ARE unreasonable, your partner’s been feeling the pressure already (even if you don’t think you’ve said anything obvious, men are pretty perceptive.) And codependency has a bad rap for a good reason: it’s unhealthy, it’s unsexy, and, well, it’s actually kinda boring.

(You don’t really want to be one of those couples in the matching bowl-cuts and his’n’hers outfits, do you?)

But even if you can see that you’ve made some mistakes so far, don’t worry. Just keep reading. The important thing is that you’re learning and growing, and just by reading this book, you’re renewing your commitment to yourself to create the healthiest, happiest relationship possible.

As long as you can acknowledge your behavior (to yourself) and take a step back

right now - ease off the pressure, the tears, the bad feelings (and don’t worry about

trying to make it up to him just yet) - everything will likely be fine.

You’re about to learn the tools for creating a rock-solid commitment where you NEVER have to feel insecure, alone, cold, or lonely again.

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Navigating The 5 Stages Of Commitment: How To Get From “Hello” To “We’re Soulmates” In 5 Easy Steps

Navigating The 5 Stages Of

Commitment: How To Get From

“Hello” To “We’re Soulmates” In 5

Easy Steps

“A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run. Sit still

and ignore him and he’ll come purring at your feet.”

- Helen Rowland, author of A Guide to Men (1922)

Have you ever caught yourself wondering, “Things used to be so amazing, but now they’re so hard and weird ... I don’t understand why we can’t be happy the way we used to be … what’s changed?”

If so, you’re not alone. Turns out that relationships have definite, documented “steps” that we all proceed through in a specific order ... and how you’re feeling about your partner at any given moment is related to whereabouts your relationship is on the scale.

And trying to skip any steps is BAD news for the future – so no cheating!

According to John Gray (author of the seminal Men Are From Mars, Women Are

From Venus), there are 5 distinct stages to dating and commitment. Each stage must

be experienced in sequence - if you skip a stage, the result can be disastrous. If you or your partner attempt to skip a stage, it actually makes it more difficult to experience happy commitment in the future.

For example, say you’re happily dating a great man. You’ve been together for six months now and are officially “in love”. The two of you still live separately and spend a couple nights a week apart, but things are great.

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