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Patricia Fearing (Molly Peters) and James Bond (Sean Connery) in Thunderball

In Bed With Bond: Redux

by Scott Murray

Scott Murray is a filmmaker and co-Editor of Senses of Cinema.

Dominated by the Villain, […] Fleming’s woman has already been previously conditioned to domination, life for her having assumed the role of the villain. The general scheme is (1) the girl is beautiful and good; (2) has been made frigid and unhappy by severe trials suffered in adolescence; (3) this has conditioned her to the service of the Villain; (4) through meeting Bond she appreciates human nature in all its richness; (5) Bond possesses her but in the end loses her. (1)

Umberto Eco began a new era of Bond scholarship when this passage first appeared in Il caso Bond: le origini, la natura, gli effetti del fenomeno 007 in 1965 (then, The Bond Affair, 1966).

Eco posited a model that he argues fits (with small qualifications) 13 of the 16 major Women in Ian Fleming’s Bond novels. (2)

This model is widely supported, especially by Tony Bennett and Janet Woollacott in Bond and Beyond: The Political Career of a Popular Hero, published in 1987. (3) They even argue that Eco’s analysis applies to the Bond films.

Variously differing views are taken by O. F. Snelling in Double O Seven: James Bond: A Report (4), Kingsley Amis in The James Bond Dossier (5), Tim Greaves in The Bond Women: 007 Style (6), and Maryam d’Abo and John Cork in Bond Girls Are Forever: The Women of James Bond (7), among others.

This article begins with a brief look at the creation of Bond, followed by a detailed look at 007’s sexual partners (the Bond Women) in the books and films. (8) It is followed by a point-by-point examination of the Eco model, in an attempt to accurately define the true Bond Woman.

The Birth of Bond

On 15 January 1952, at “Goldeneye” on the island of Jamaica, Ian Lancaster Fleming, Old Etonian and former agent of Naval Intelligence, began work on a novel. He claimed it was a distraction from his upcoming marriage to Anne Charteris:

“Horrified by the prospect of marriage and to anesthetize my nerves, I sat down, rolled a piece of paper into my battered portable and began.” (9)

The novel, Casino Royale, was finished on 18 March 1952 and Fleming was married six days later.

An unputdownable yarn with graphic scenes of high adventure, gruesome torture and female bondage (10), Casino Royale is also notable for its deconstruction of British manhood. Fleming had unleashed a torrent of anxiety about his personal transition from playboy to husband, instilling in secret agent James Bond a near pathological fear of women:

Women were for recreation. On a job, they got in the way and fogged things up with sex and hurt feelings and all the emotional baggage they carried around. One had to look out for them and take care of them.

‘Bitch,’ said Bond […] (11)

The ‘bitch’, of course, is British agent 3030, Vesper Lynd, the first and greatest of all the Bond Women.

James is certainly impressed, even if his desires are dark:

He wanted her cold and arrogant body. He wanted to see tears and desire in her remote blue eyes and to take the ropes of her black hair in his hands and bend her long body back under his. (12)

But first there is a job to be done:

The prospect of working with her stimulated him. At the same time he felt a vague disquiet. On an impulse he touched wood. (13)

Bond is right to feel disquiet, because Vesper will completely outsmart him, leaving him a physical and psychological wreck.

After succeeding in their Casino Royale mission, and while recovering from a savaging of his genitals that may have left him impotent, Bond abandons his fear of being entrapped by a woman and falls for Vesper.

In her room at L’Auberge du Fruit Défendu on the Normandy coast, prior to a romantic dinner of broiled lobster and champagne, Bond asks:

‘Will you marry me?’

She snorted. ‘You need a slave, not a wife.’ ‘I want you.’

‘Well, I want my lobster and champagne, so hurry up.’ ‘All right, all right,’ said Bond. (14)

Soon after, Vesper commits suicide, unable to balance being with Bond and being blackmailed by the Soviets.

The book ends with the famous passage:

‘This is 007 speaking. This is an open line. It’s an emergency. Can you hear me? Pass this on at once. 3030 was a double, working for Redland.

It can be argued that everything Bond does from this point on is shaped by how Vesper swept into, and took over, his life.

Seducing or Seduced by the Bond Woman?

Snelling: “Offhand, I can think of no character in fiction so lucky in love as James Bond. Almost every personable female he meets seems more than ready to hop into bed with him at his merest nod.” (16)

Charles McCarry: “There is nothing one man admires in another so much as sexual luck.” (17)

THE NOVELS

One can define a Bond Woman in many ways, but it is generally understood to mean a woman Bond sleeps with or wishes to. That is why Miss Moneypenny (Private Secretary to M) and Leolia Ponsonby (a secretary in the 00 Section) are not included in the list of the 16 major Bond Women. Flirtatious games are one thing, a genuine desire to seduce is another. Also not included are the many minor ‘dalliances’ Bond has along the way (including the lose of “his virginity and his note-case” at 16 in Paris (18) and so forth), which have no meaningful bearing on the direction of the main narrative.

In order of publication, the novels and Women are:

Casino Royale first edition

Casino Royale (1953)

Vesper Lynd (30+) (19) is a British agent. She and Bond slowly fall in love while he recuperates from his brutal injuries:

In their talk there was nothing but companionship with a distant undertone of

passion. In the background there was the unspoken zest of the promise which, in due course and in their own time, would be met. (20)

Partially recovered, Bond and Vesper drive to L’Auberge du Fruit Défendu (her choice), where she rejects his clumsy advances. It is only that night, after his marriage proposal is rejected (quoted earlier), that they finally come together:

It was only half past nine when he stepped into her room from the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

The moonlight shone through the half-closed shutters and lapped at the secret shadows in the snow of her body on the broad bed. (21)

The next day, Bond ends the affair, having discovered Vesper’s betrayal of him and the mission. Vesper is soon dead and, too late, Bond realizes how the Soviets have destroyed this rare chance at happiness.

Partners: 1. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 1 (Vesper).

* * *

Live and Let Die (1954)

Simone (Solitaire) Latrelle (25) is a Haitian reader of Tarot cards and possibly (but not certainly) a virgin. She is waiting for someone to help her escape from the evil Mr. Big, who exploits her talents and wants to marry her.

When Bond turns up, Solitaire does all she can to seduce him. She sits down “almost touching his right knee” (22) and “nonchalantly drew her forearms together in her lap so that the valley between her breasts deepened” (23). Moments later, she deliberately lies during a Tarot reading ordered by Mr. Big to test Bond’s fidelity. She says his bogus reasons for being in Harlem are actually genuine. “‘He speaks the truth,’ she said coldly.” (24)

Despite this, Kinsley Amis writes in The James Bond Dossier:

Some sorts of wish-fulfilment do abound in the Bond chronicles. Only twice [sic] in thirteen books does he fail to seduce the girl who has taken his fancy. Resistance to his approaches is never prolonged. On the contrary, it tends to collapse the moment he appears. ‘I hoped I would one day kiss a man like that,’ Solitaire says at a very early stage [actually, p. 113] in Live and Let Die. ‘And when I first saw you, I knew it would be you.’ One gets the general drift. (25)

Like so many others, Amis has toppled head-first into a narrative trap set by Fleming, who invites the reader to think it’s all about the irresistible sexual charisma of Bond, when, in fact, 007 is here just a pawn in a woman’s web.

Did not Amis learn the lesson of Casino Royale one year earlier, where Bond is completely out of his depth in Vesper’s double game? Did he not see that delicious double meaning dangled so cheekily by Fleming in front of the reader’s eyes when Solitaire says, “And when I first say you, I knew it would be you”?

Solitaire took matters firmly in her own hands from the start, but Bond has a broken finger -“‘Curse this arm,’ he said. ‘I can’t hold you properly or make love to you. It hurts too much.’” - and puts off further physical contact for quite a while (117 pages, in fact). After surviving being dragged naked with Solitaire over a coral reef, a nude Bond is

sponge-bathed back to health by a male British agent named Strangways! Despite this (or because of it), on the book’s last page Bond says to Solitaire:

‘We’re going to a house on stilts with palm trees and five miles of golden sand. And you’ll have to look after me very well because I shan’t be able to make love with only one arm.’

There was open sensuality in Solitaire’s eyes as she looked up at him. She smiled innocently.

John Cork writes in Bond Girls Are Forever:

It was the character of Solitaire […] that set the tone for what we think of as the Bond woman. Strong, exotic, sexually aware, Solitaire was the kind of woman who simply did not appear in the popular literature of the day, at least not as a good girl. [She is] the first incarnation of the sexually liberated heroine […] (27)

Partners: 1. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Solitaire). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

Moonraker (1955)

Galatea (Gala) Brand (25+) is a policewoman working for British Special Branch on a mission with Bond. But she never has eyes for him.

At the end of the book, having not slept with 007, Gala rejects his amorous proposal and reveals she is marrying Detective-Inspector Vivian.

‘Oh,’ said Bond. He smiled stiffly. ‘I see. […] I was going to take you off to a farmhouse in France […] And after a wonderful dinner I was going to see if it’s true what they say about the scream of a rose.’

She laughed. ‘I’m sorry I can’t oblige. But there are plenty of other girls waiting to be picked.’ (28)

Partners: 0. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 0. Failures: 1 (Gala).

* * *

Diamonds are Forever (1956)

Tiffany Case (27) is a ditzy American criminal and possibly the weirdest of the Bond Women. It is very difficult to be precisely sure what she is ever thinking or doing. When Bond first meets “T. Case” (he sees her name on a Pan-American Airways label), Fleming writes: “T? […] Teresa? Tess? Thelma? Trudy? Tilly? None of them seemed to fit.” (29) This is extraordinary; it is almost as if Bond is imagining the Women he is still to meet: Teresa (di Vicenzo), Tilly (Masterton) …

Tiffany seems underwhelmed by Bond at first, treating him “with a touch of condescension. […] His nonchalance seemed to irritate her.” (30)

Later, over their first drink together, Tiffany boldly states: “I’m not going to sleep with you, […] so don’t waste your money getting me tight.” (31) Really! What sort of man does she think Bond is? And this is before he has even made a move.

Many chapters later, Tiffany drags Bond into his cabin aboard ship. “I want it to be in your house, James.” (32) And so it will be: “I want it all, James. Everything you’ve ever done to a girl. Now. Quickly.” (33)

Never having had so forward an offer, Bond accepts without hesitation and guides her gently to the cabin floor. This leads Snelling to rightly ask:

I can’t imagine why he chooses the floor with a perfectly good luxury liner bed an arm’s length away, but I’ve no doubt at all that he knows what he’s doing After all, Bond has enough experience in this gentle art. (34)

Partners: 1. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Tiffany). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

From Russia, With Love (1957)

Tatiana (Tania) Romanova (24) is a Soviet spy who is ordered to sleep with Bond by her superior, Rosa Klebb:

‘You will meet this man. You will seduce him. In this matter you will have no silly compunctions. Your body belongs to the state. Since your birth, the State has nourished it. Now your body must work for the State. Is that understood?’ (35) While Fleming is regularly accused of preferencing British values and standards above all others, it is worth pointing out that M. orders Bond to do exactly the same, albeit with more subtlety:

Bond shrugged his shoulders. […] ‘Should be a piece of cake, sir. As far as I can see there’s only one snag. She’s only seen photographs of me and read a lot of exciting stories. Suppose that when she sees me in the flesh, I don’t come up to

her expectations.’

‘That’s where the work comes in,’ said M. grimly. ‘[…] It’s up to you to see that you do come up to her expectations.’ (36)

Bond finds Tatiana in his Istanbul hotel bed, naked except for a strip of black velvet around her neck. Bond plays at being reticent, until finally he relents and pulls back the sheet.

Partners: 1. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Tatiana). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

Dr No (1958)

Honeychile (Honey) Rider (20), as the whole world knows, stands near naked in front of a stupefied Bond on a Caribbean beach. What she doesn’t do is walk out from the water, as most people believe. (37) She is already on the beach, innocently collecting seashells, Bond viewing her from behind. This leads to Fleming’s infamous description of her bottom as “almost as firm and rounded as a boy’s” (38).

At the end, after victory over Doctor No, Honey leaves a note on Bond’s pillow: “You are staying with me tonight […] you owe me slave-time. I will come at seven. Your H.” (39)

Partners: 1. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Honeychile). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

Goldfinger first edition

This is the first Fleming novel with more than one Bond Woman.

Jill Masterton (age unknown) works for a gold fetishist, Auric Goldfinger, helping him cheat at cards. Bond enters her unlocked hotel room and finds her sitting on some cushions, watching through binoculars Goldfinger’s card game below.

‘Whoryou? Whatyouwant?’ The girl’s hand was up to her mouth. Her eyes screamed at him. (40)

Bond quickly calms, rather than charms, her. She clearly dislikes Goldfinger and is happy to go along with Bond’s plan of humiliating the card-cheat.

Later, on a train and after Bond has taken her hostage, she is willingly initiated into the joys of sexual life.

Tilly Masterton (24) meets Bond in Switzerland, where she is trying to kill Goldfinger in revenge for painting her sister Jill gold.

Tilly puzzles Bond from the start: “There was something faintly mannish and open-air about the whole of her behaviour and appearance.” (41) He’s still puzzled long after he’s got to know her and been kidnapped by Goldfinger: “She was beautiful - physically desirable. But there was a cold, hard centre to her that Bond couldn’t understand or define.” (42)

In his book The Sexual Fix, Stephen Heath, who (like Eco) bizarrely changes Tilly’s surname to Masterson, writes:

Tilly Masterson […] The woman-enigma, the woman-problem. But, of course, Bond can understand and define the cold, hard centre: she is ‘one of those girls whose hormones had got mixed up’ (the result of ‘fifty years of emancipation’), one of ‘a herd of unhappy sexual misfits - barren and full of frustrations’. (43)

Not that it matters: Bond and Tilly never make it to bed together.

Pussy Galore (30+) is leader of a lesbian criminal gang, The Cement Mixers. At the end of the book, after Goldfinger’s plot to rob Fort Knox has come unstuck and the Stratocruiser crashes into the sea, Bond and Pussy are rescued by the Weathership Charlie.

The connecting door with the next cabin opened and the girl came in. She was wearing nothing but a grey fisherman’s jersey that was decent by half an inch. […] She said, ‘People keep on asking if I’d like an alcohol rub and I keep on saying that if anyone’s going to rub me it’s you, and if I’m going to be rubbed with anything it’s you I’d liked to be rubbed with. [….] So here I am.’ (44)

Partners: 2. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Pussy). Bond seduces Woman: 1 (Jill). Mutual seductions: 0. Failures: 1 (Tilly).

* * *

Thunderball (written in collaboration with Kevin McClory, 1961)

Patricia Fearing (age unknown) is a health worker at Shrublands. She is sexually assaulted by Bond after some osteopathic treatment:

[…] when she told him to release his hands, he did nothing of the sort. He tightened them, pulled her head sharply towards him, and kissed her full on the lips. She ducked quickly down through his arms and straightened herself, her cheeks red and her eyes shinning with anger. (45)

Later, after he blacks out on the rack, he is massaged by Patricia wearing fur gloves and then given some dandelion tea:

‘That was marvellous. Now how about some more of the mink treatment. And by the way. Will you marry me? You’re the only girl I’ve ever met who knows how to treat a man properly.’

She laughed. ‘Don’t be silly. And turn over on your face. It’s your back that needs treatment.’

‘How do you know?’ (46)

While the banter has a sexual edge, it never feels as if they will ever sleep together. Others might disagree.

Dominette (Domino) Petacchi (29) is the Italian mistress of mobster Emilio Largo. Domino’s surname is usually given as Vitali, but she is a sometime actress and that is merely her stage name.

Bond first sees her outside The Pipe of Peace (a cigarette store) in Nassau. She offers to drive him to a bar (he is thirsty), but she “didn’t talk to Bond or seem to be aware of him” (47). Over a vodka and tonic, he tries to charm her but gets: “If you’ve got to flirt, don’t be obvious.” (48) She leaves him at the bar and tells him to get a taxi home. One last attempt to seduce her is rejected and Bond is left to mutter “Bitch” (49), his infamous description of women. How the shadow of Vesper hovers.

It is only much later that Domino and Bond mutually fall into sex when he has to save her on the beach from sea-egg spines stuck in her foot. The chapter is entitled “How to Eat a Girl”. How did Fleming get away with it?

Partners: 1. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 1 (Domino). Failures: 1 (Patricia).

* * *

The Spy Who Loved Me (with Vivienne Michel, 1962)

Vivienne Michel (23) is a French-Canadian editorial assistant on holiday in America, where she is terrorised in a motel in the Adirondack Mountains by some hoods. Bond accidentally comes along (his car tyre goes flat) and rescues her from imminent rape. The story is told in the first person and Vivien Michel is listed as co-author.

After the hoods are killed, Fleming and Michel write:

I felt like blushing. I said obstinately, ‘I don’t mind what you think, James, but I’m not going to leave you tonight. You can choose either [cabin] 2 or 3. I’ll sleep on

the floor.

He laughed, and reached out and hugged me to him. ‘If you sleep on the floor, I’ll sleep on the floor too. But it seems rather a waste of a fine double bed. Let’s say Number 3.’ He stopped and looked at me, pretending to be polite. ‘Or would you rather Number 2?’

‘No. Number 3 would be heavenly.’ (50) That sounds about as mutual as it can get.

Partners: 1. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 1 (Vivienne).

* * *

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1963)

La Comtesse Teresa (Tracy) Di Vicenzo (25) seduces Bond as a reward for bailing her out (to the tune of two million old francs) at the Royale-les-Eaux Casino. Bond had seen her earlier that night when she passed him at great speed on the road to Royale-les-Eaux. After personally losing another two million francs, Bond finds Teresa sitting with a half-finished bottle of Pol Roger:

She gave him a sideways, appraising glance. ‘Why did you rescue me when I made the “coup du déshonneur”?’

Bond shrugged. ‘Beautiful girl in distress. Besides, we made friends between Abbeville and Montreuil this evening. You drive like an angel.’ […]

She looked at him gravely, considering him. […] She said, ‘My name is Tracy. […] I am not interested in conversation. And you have earned your reward.’

She rose abruptly. So did Bond, confused. ‘No. I will go alone. You can come later. The number is 45. There, if you wish, you can make the most expensive piece of love of your life. It will have cost you four million francs. I hope it will be worth it.’ (51) Ruby Windsor (age unknown) is a patient at Blofeld’s clinic, Piz Gloria, in the Swiss Alps, having treatment for her allergy to chickens. She takes the bold step of visiting Bond in his room and, with dexterous hand movements (the room is bugged with microphones), suggests they talk in the secrecy of his bathroom. She seems to be more interested in information than sex, but when Bond makes his move, kissing her full on the mouth, “she didn’t recoil. She just stood there like a great lovely doll, passive, slightly calculating, wanting to be a princess.” (52)

Later that night, Bond enters her room and the cuddling begins.

Partners: 2. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Tracy). Bond seduces Woman: 1 (Ruby). Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

You Only Live Twice (1964)

Kissy Suzuki (23) is a diver for clams on the island of Kuro, Japan. Bond lives with her (but does not marry her, as in the film) while tracking down Blofeld’s henchwoman, Irma Blunt.

Kissy, like others before her (most notably Vesper), restores Bond to health after he is injured during a mission. Keen to make love with him, but worried about his inactive sexual state, she goes to a sex shop to buy toad sweat and other herbal remedies. Few women have gone to this much trouble to bed Bond. All of which has a dramatic effect because, at the end, Kissy is pregnant with Bond’s only known child.

Partners: 1. Woman seduces Bond: 1. Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

The Man with the Golden Gun (1965)

Mary Goodnight (25+) is a former secretary to 007 and now a British agent who shares a mission with Bond.

Bennett and Woollacott claim that Bond and Goodnight sleep together (“Bond subsequently possess Mary Goodnight” (53)). As evidence, they quote:

Bond put his hand under the soft chin and lifted up her mouth and kissed her full on the half-open lips. He said, ‘Why didn’t we ever think of doing that before, Goodnight? Three years with only that door between us! What must we have been thinking of?’ (54)

But all Bond and Goodnight are doing is kiss in the public bar of a hotel. No sex between them has occurred, or ever does, within the confines of the novel. What happens

afterwards is in dispute.

At the close of the book, Goodnight invites Bond to stay in a spare room at her villa. He seems ambiguous at best:

He said, and meant it, “Goodnight. You’re an angel.” (55)

The wordplay on “Goodnight” is presumably deliberate, given Fleming continues:

At the same time, he knew, deep down, that love from Mary Goodnight, or from any other woman, was not enough for him. It would be like taking ‘a room with a view’. For James Bond, the same view would always pall. (56)

That doesn’t sound like he is accepting her offer, though John Cork in Bond Girls believes he does. (57)

Anyway, who knows what twist of fate might have intervened in the unlikely event Bond did decide to bed down with Goodnight.

Partners: 0. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 0.

BOOK PARTNERS WOMAN

SEDUCES BOND BOND SEDUCES WOMAN MUTUAL SEDUCTIONS FAILURES Casino Royale 1 0 0 1 0

Live and Let Die 1 1 0 0 0

Diamonds are Forever 1 1 0 0 0 From Russia, With Love 1 1 0 0 0 Dr No 1 1 0 0 0 Goldfinger 2 1 1 0 1 Thunderball 1 0 0 1 1

The Spy Who

Loved Me 1 0 0 1 0

On Her Majesty’s

Secret Service 2 1 1 0 0

You Only Live

Twice 1 1 0 0 0

The Man with the

Golden Gun 0 0 0 0 1

Total 12 7 2 3 4

Percentage 75.0 58 17 25

Book Summary

There are only two occasions where one can meaningfully claim that Bond seduces the Woman: Jill Masterton and Ruby Windsor. But, as we have seen, both cases are debatable. There are seven Women who clearly seduce Bond: Solitaire Latrelle, Tiffany Case, Tatiana Romanova, Honeychile Rider, Pussy Galore, Tracy di Vicenzo and Kissy Suzuki.

The other three relationships are ‘mutual’, in that it is difficult to say who seduced whom: Vesper Lynd, Domino Petacchi and Vivienne Michel.

Bond’s has one major failure among the major Bond Women, Gala Brand. There are three other minor failures or ‘disappointments’: Tilly Masterton, Patricia Fearing and

Mary Goodnight.

So, of the 12 Women who sleep with Bond, seven (or 58%) do the seducing. Bond only seduces 2 (17%) and the rest (25%) are mutual.

This is not as Eco and others would have you believe. * * *

THE FILMS

It is generally agreed that the films are different to the books in regard to the Women and Bond’s relationships with them. But are they?

In order of release:

Ian Fleming’s Dr. No (Terence Young, 1962)

Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress) in Dr No

James Bond (Sean Connery) comes in contact with nine women, five of whom he sees only in passing and has no time to pursue, even if he had the desire to.

As mentioned above, Bond does not ever attempt to seduce Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell), but he does go to bed with three Women:

Sylvia (Eunice Gayson) (58), the first Woman Bond sleeps with on screen, actually seduces him.

After meeting Bond at a casino, Sylvia breaks into his flat (how is that possible if 007 is a security-conscious secret agent?), and stands there playing golf in nothing but one of his shirts. Bond has little time to spare before his flight to Jamaica, but find time he does. Cork writes:

Introducing James Bond through Sylvia Trench was a stroke of pure genius. Having a woman of such rarefied tastes hurl herself at 007, elevated Bond himself. (59)

Sylvia then becomes a steady (if not sole) girlfriend of 007, re-appearing in Ian Fleming’s From Russia With Love (Terence Young, 1963).

Miss Taro (Zena Marshall) works for the sinister Dr. No (Joseph Wiseman) and is forced into having sex by Bond. He has turned up to her house, eluding the efforts of Dr. No’s

henchmen to kill him en route. She is surprised, to say the least, to see him.

Bond then overhears her talking on the phone and realizes she is being told to keep Bond on the premises until another killer can arrive. Bond coldly lets her know that the only way he’ll stay is if she sleeps with him. This is very close to rape, but apparently secret agents do this sort of thing all the time.

Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress), her surname changed from Rider in the novel, is Bond’s main love interest for the movie. It is a pity the filmmakers bowed to the censorship of the time and had Honey wear a bikini rather than appear as Fleming so perfectly imagined the

scene. Few agree, however, as this moment is universally regarded as one of the sexiest in cinema.

Starting an occasional trend, Honey cuddles with Bond in the last sequence (aboard a boat, a franchise favourite). One assumes things will mutually grow more sexual after the final credits, not that one can tell with any certainty.

Cork writes:

The Bond Girls from Dr. No marked a new kind of woman in the cinema. Sylvia Trench, Miss Taro and Honey Ryder were strong-willed, resourceful, and sexually independent. They signalled […] a new generation of women who wanted and expected more out of life. (60)

Partners: 3. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Sylvia). Bond seduces Woman: 1 (Miss Taro). Probable mutual seductions: 1 (Honey).

* * *

Ian Fleming’s From Russia With Love (Terence Young, 1963)

Sylvia reappears from Dr. No and has fun with Bond down by the river. Bond decides to delay a meeting with “M” (Bernard Lee) to more fully enjoy the moment (a joke that will be reprised in the film series).

As in the novel, Tatiana (Daniela Bianchi) is blackmailed into going to bed with Bond by Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya). (Here, Klebb works for SPECTRE, not SMERSH.)

Bond is likewise instructed by M. (Bernard Lee) to do the same. When Bond remarks, mirroring the book, “Suppose when she meets me in the flesh I don’t come up to expectations”, M. coldly replies, “Just see that you do.”

Tatiana makes things pretty easy for Bond by walking naked across his hotel room in Istanbul (a rare and pioneering moment of narrative nudity) and gets into bed. All she has on is a black velvet choker. Bond enters and things take the inevitable course, all recorded on film as Tatiana, the seductress, intended.

She and Bond end the film happily together in a gondola.

Vida (Aliza Gur) and Zora (Martine Beswick) are two women involved in a catfight at a Gypsy camp. Bond pleads that the hideous spectacle be stopped, and in doing so is asked to personally settle the dispute. Kerim Bey (Pedro Armendáriz) brings the girls to Bond’s caravan and says, “Vavra [Francis de Wolff] said for you to decide. So, decide. They’re both yours.” Kerim laughs and Bond replies: “This may take some time.” The ménage à trois is implied, not seen.

As Bond has made no effort to seduce these Women (his agreeing to arbitrate the dispute was an innocent act), one must assume that whatever happens happens mutually, as each has something to gain.

Bond does not attempt to seduce Rosa Klebb. Now, that would have been interesting.

Partners: 4. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Tatiana). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 3 (Sylvia, Vida, Zora).

* * *

Ian Fleming’s Goldfinger (Guy Hamilton, 1964)

While Bonita (Nadja Regin) lies stunned on the floor of Bond’s hotel room, 007 delivers the greatest pre-credits punch-line ever: “Shocking … positively shocking.” It is clear that Bonita and Bond have slept together prior to the film’s narrative starting because, when

Bond takes off his shoulder holster, a near-naked Bonita says, “Why do you always wear that thing?” The odds are it was Bond who seduced her, in the line of duty.

Dink (Margaret Nolan) is a masseuse at the Miami hotel. The confident way Bond introduces her to Felix Leiter (Cec Linder) and the body language between them (the bottom slap and reaction, especially) suggests these two are already an item. As there is no contrary evidence, one must assume any seduction was mutual.

Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton), her surname changed from Masterton, helps Auric

Goldfinger (Gert Fröbe) cheat at cards. Bond seduces her and, almost straight away, she is rendered gold.

Tilly Masterson (Tania Mallet) has all the possibilities of being a great Bond Woman, but the filmmakers sell her short. Childishly, Bond is affronted when Tilly doesn’t swoon in his presence. His “I hate to leave you here all alone” is meet with “I can take care of myself.” A gentleman, and Bond is certainly not one on this occasion, would never reply: “Yes, I’m sure you can.” The audience is totally on her side when she turns Bond down.

Tilly is Bond’s first on-screen failure.

Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) is a lesbian who, at first, is underwhelmed by Bond’s presence. Then, seemingly against all the odds, she sleeps with Bond in a stable full of hay. It is a delightful and spirited meeting of equals, until Bond presses his weight down on top of her and ignores her resistance. However, they end the film in a park, happily cuddling under a parachute.

Cork:

She is the first Bond woman who is Bond’s equal in virtually every aspect. She can fight, make love, seduce, and scheme right alongside 007. She is, like her name, unique. (61)

Mei-Lei (Mai Ling) is a flight attendant on Goldfinger’s plane. Bond tries to seduce her, but fails to get any response.

Partners: 4. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 2 (Bonita, Jill). Mutual seductions: 2 (Dink, Pussy). Failures: 2 (Tilly, Mei-Lei).

* * *

Ian Fleming’s Thunderball (Terence Young, 1965)

Patricia (Molly Peters) is a nurse at Shrublands, where Bond is recovering from injuries. It is pure desire on Bond’s part, though his seduction technique (pinning her with his arms and forcing a kiss upon her lips) would get him into a lot of trouble these days. But it gets worse.

After nearly dying on the rack, Bond tells Patricia:

“Well, somebody’s going to wish the day never happened.” “Oh, you wouldn’t tell Dr Wayne. Please, I’d lose my job.” “Well, I … I suppose my silence could have a price.” “You don’t mean … oh, no …”

“Oh, yes.”

Fiona (Luciana Paluzzi) is a fiery and fast-driving executioner for SPECTRE who seduces Bond. He finds her naked in the bath of his assistant, Paula (Martine Beswick). When she asks, “Would you mind giving me something to put on?”, he thoughtfully hands her a pair of gold slippers. She then tells him, “Shouldn’t you get out of those wet clothes. You’ll catch your death of cold.” He agrees.

Domino (Claudine Auger) is the niece of SPECTRE’s number 2 man, Largo (Adolfo Celi). She has sex with Bond while scuba diving underwater. “I hope we didn’t frighten the fish”, Bond remarks as they leave the water (the pristine nature of their bathing costumes giving no indication as to what happened below).

Paula is a mystery. There is no sense of any past sexual contact with Bond, but she is very displeased and possessive when Fiona turns up for a date with 007. It is possible Paula has slept with Bond, but one can’t be certain.

Partners: 3. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Fiona). Bond seduces Woman: 1 (Patricia). Mutual seductions: 1 (Domino).

* * *

Casino Royale (Val Guest, Ken Hughes, John Huston, Joseph McGrath,

Robert Parrish [and Richard Talmage], 1967)

This non-‘official’ spoof has numerous 007s, male and female, and countless scantily clad women, many of whom are uncredited. The film is a narrative swirl and difficult for deconstructionists to make meaningful sense of. Who, for instance, is James Bond?

There is a Sir James Bond (David Niven), who goes to bed with no women, though he falls for Agent Mimi (Alias Lady Fiona) (Deborah Kerr). Then there is Sir James’ nephew, but he is called Jimmy Bond (Woody Allen), so that doesn’t count.

Vesper Lynd (Ursula Andress) becomes an 007 midway through the film, but she sleeps with no one after the name change. Ditto Cooper (Terence Cooper), who sleeps with Moneypenny (Barbara Bouchet), but that is before he is made a James Bond. And so it goes.

Partners: 0. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

Ian Fleming’s You Only Live Twice (Lewis Gilbert, 1967)

What should one make of Bond’s time in Hong Kong with the woman Bond calls Ling, but is credited as Chinese Girl (Hong Kong) (Tsai Chin)? Many authors count her as one of Bond’s conquests. But is she?

Bond and Chinese Girl (Hong Kong) are seen naked kissing in bed. Bond asks (with wicked dialogue courtesy of Roald Dahl):

“Why do Chinese girls taste different to other girls? “You think we better, eh?”

“No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian caviar. But I love ‘em both.”

“Darling, I give you the very best duck.” “Well, that’ll be lovely.”

The reference to “taste” is regarded by some critics as implying sexual activity has occurred. What is not discussed by critics is how Bond, an Eton-educated man, says “different from” instead of “different to”. The English school system has let him down rather badly.

Later in the same scene, Bond says: “We’ve had some interesting times together, Ling. I’ll be sorry to go.” Chinese Girl (Hong Kong) then presses a red button, Bond’s bed retracts into the wall and British Hong Kong police charge in and fire their weapons. The wall-bed is opened and Bond is pronounced dead.

After Bond’s burial at sea and his ‘revival’ in a submarine, he meets Miss Moneypenny, who asks:

“Oh, by the way, how was the girl?” “Which girl?”

“The Chinese one we fixed you up with.”

“Oh, another five minutes and I would have found out.” “She’ll never know what she missed.”

So, Bond’s bedroom activities were interrupted by the police before anything sexual happened and Chinese Girl (Hong Kong) was working for the British intelligence to help fake Bond’s death. It is unlikely, therefore, that anything sexual happened. The “taste” was just a kiss.

But how does one explain Bond’s “We’ve had some interesting times together, Ling” if Moneypenny (and others) only arranged her for this one event? Poor scriptwriting may be the answer.

In Tokyo, the head of the Japanese Secret Service, Tiger Tanaka (Tetsuro Tamba), takes Bond to his home, where he gets a massage from Bond’s Masseuse (Jeanne Roland). Bond tells her:

“Last time someone gave me a massage was in Hong Kong. But, unfortunately, I had to cut it short. We were rudely interrupted by a couple of gunmen. So, we never got ‘round to finishing it.”

Aki (Akiko Wakabayashi) silently replaces Bond’s Masseuse. She is one of Tiger Tanaka’s special agents.

“This time you shall finish it”, she says. “Aki!”

“No one will disturb you tonight. I think I will enjoy very much serving under you.” Helga Brandt (Karen Dor) is no 11 in SPECTRE. She threatens a rope-bound Bond with torture, using a plastic surgeon’s scalpel:

“I’ve got you now”, she says. “Well, enjoy yourself”, Bond replies.

Despite being fiercely slapped, Bond tries to bribe her with money and a flight to Europe, and Helga cuts away his ropes. He then slices through her dress straps and mutters “Ah, the things I do for England.” The next day, she tries to kill him on a plane.

After Aki is killed by the drip of poison intended for Bond, 007 is sent to an island to marry Kissy (Mie Hanna), another of Tiger Tanaka’s agents. This is the first of Bond’s two

dismissing the Kissy nuptials as fake. However, there is not a shred of evidence to support that reading. Bond is told by Tiger he is getting married and he does. And, despite Kissy’s protests that their living together is only in the name of duty, and while Kissy refuses Bond’s offer of sharing a bed for appearances’ sake, they do fall in love with each other. (Akiko is forgotten very quickly.)

As has become a series trend (with Honey in Dr. No and Domino in Thunderball), Bond has not made love with Kissy by the end of the film. One suspects they will soon afterwards. But it may be a little uncomfortable: they are in an inflatable lifeboat atop a

British submarine.

Partners: 3. Woman seduces Bond: 2 (Aki, Helga). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Probable mutual seductions: 1 (Kissy).

* * *

Ian Fleming’s On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (Peter Hunt, 1969)

As in the novel, Bond bails Tracy (Diana Rigg) out at a casino by claiming she was his partner. He later finds her in the bar. She tosses him the key to her suite and says, “I hope I’ll be worth it.”

But things aren’t that simple. In her suite, Bond is attacked by a man. Bond wins and retreats to his room, bleeding. There, after a wilful and under-dressed Tracy points Bond’s gun at him (he’s not happy), they move to a lounge on the terrace, where they lie

together talking:

“Think about me as the woman you’ve just bought.”

“Who needs to buy?”, Bond says disdainfully. “Look, you don’t owe me a thing.” This is a major change from the Fleming novels, where prostitutes are definitely on Bond’s agenda and 007 is far less moralistic.

“I think you’re in some kind of trouble”, says Bond. “Would you like to talk about it?” “No, Mr Bond. The only thing you need know about me is that I pay my debts.” And so she does.

Tracy (Diana Rigg) and James Bond (George Lazenby) in On Her Majesty’s

Secret Service

Later, they fall in love and marry. (There is no mention of Bond’s previous marriage to Kissy.) That same day, Tracy is shot dead by Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat).

At the females-only clinic at Piz Gloria, Bond arrives in the disguise of Sir Hilary Bray. Over dinner, he talks of a book on heraldry in his possession containing references to “golden balls”. Ruby (Angela Scouter) is so keen on reading it she writes her room number of his thigh with red lipstick (he’s wearing a kilt). As Ruby has already made a point of

seductively eating a chicken leg just inches from his face, it is fair to assume she is out to seduce Bond. However, when he breaks into her room later that night, she seems more interested in the book than Bond, until he presses the point.

On returning to his own room, Bond finds Nancy (Catherina Von Schell) waiting for him. She, too, claims to want the book, but takes the opportunity to pull Bond down onto the bed.

Though both dalliances could be called mutual, one should credit the first to Bond (he does more of the work) and the second to Nancy (same reasoning).

Partners: 3. Woman seduces Bond: 2 (Tracy, Nancy). Bond seduces Woman: 1 (Ruby). Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

Ian Fleming’s Diamonds Are Forever (Guy Hamilton, 1971)

On the trail of Blofeld (Charles Gray), Bond (Sean Connery) strangles Marie (Denise Perrier) without giving her the chance to get properly acquainted.

Tiffany Case (Jill St John) entertains Bond the first time in her underwear and turns up again in lingerie, lying seductively on his hotel bed. What is Bond supposed to do? In a particularly unpleasant scene (like much in this unlikeable film), Tiffany and Bond look the least-happy bed companions in Bond history. No matter, they end up standing together on the balcony of a ship at sea. But, despite being in Bond’s arms, Tiffany seems to only have eyes for diamonds in the sky.

Bond almost gets to bed with Plenty O’Toole (Lana Wood), but some bad guys cramp his style, tossing poor Plenty into a hotel swimming pool from several storeys above.

As for Bambi (Lola Larson) and Thumper (Trina Parks), they try to kill Bond the moment they see him. No chance of any romance there.

Partners: 1. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Tiffany). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

Ian Fleming’s Live and Let Die (Guy Hamilton, 1973)

Immediately after the opening credits, Bond (Roger Moore) is seen in bed with Beautiful Girl (Madeline Smith) in his apartment.

At 5:48am, “M” (Bernard Lee) and Moneypenny arrive. Despite just having spoken French, Beautiful Girl is apparently a missing Italian secret agent called Miss Caruso by “M”.

When the unwanted intruders leave, and with Beautiful Girl now speaking Italian, she and Bond get back to it. There is no indication of who seduced whom.

Rosie (Gloria Hendry) breaks into Bond’s hotel room with a gun, but is quickly

overpowered. She sees a voodoo hat on his bed and panics. Bond is calm: “Why, it’s just a hat, darling, belonging to a small-headed man of limited means who lost a fight with a chicken.” Very funny, Mr Bond, but shouldn’t it be “who won a fight with a chicken”, given its feathers are neatly placed around the hat?

“It’s a warning. Get it out of here … Oh, please, please don’t leave me alone tonight. James, please promise me.”

“All right, darling, if you insist. I promise.”

As it later turns out that Rosie is working for Kananga Mr. Big (Yaphet Kotto), as the credits credit him, it is clear this is a set-up and that Rosie seduced Bond.

Solitaire (Jane Seymour) is Bond’s principal love interest and they make it to bed in unusual circumstances. Bond breaks into her house and dons the High Priestess robe she wears for Tarot readings. Solitaire enters, justifiably upset at this sacrilege. Bond says:

“The cards say we will be lovers”

“You’re mistaken. It’s impossible, forbidden for me … Now, you must go.” “But you do believe … I mean, really believe … in the cards?”

“Well, they have never lied to me.” “Then, they won’t now … Pick one.” She draws The Lovers. Bond:

“You knew the answer before it was given. Strangely enough, somehow, so did I.” Bond then reveals (to the audience only) that the deck was stacked with only The Lovers cards. Bond has clearly seduced her.

Partners: 3. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Rosie). Bond seduces Woman: 1 (Solitaire). Mutual seductions: 1 (Beautiful Girl).

* * *

Ian Fleming’s The Man with the Golden Gun (Guy Hamilton, 1974)

Andrea (Maud Adams) is the mistress of the assassin Scaramanga (Christopher Lee). Bond breaks into her Peninsular Hotel room in Hong Kong and finds her naked in a shower. Unlike Connery’s Bond, who cheekily hands Fiona a mere pair of slippers in Thunderball, Moore’s Bond hands Andrea a fluffy bathrobe. Bond then tortures her (very unpleasant) and leaves.

Much later, Andrea enters his hotel room - where Goodnight (Britt Ekland) has just tried to seduce Bond and is hiding under the blankets - and unburdens herself to him:

“He’s a monster. I hate him,” “Then leave him.”

“You don’t walk out on Scaramanga. There’s no place he wouldn’t find me.” “You need a good lawyer.”

“I need 007. Who do you think sent that bullet to London with your number on it? […] I want him dead. Name your price … anything. I’ll pay it. … You can have me, too, if you like. I’m not unattractive.

Bond doesn’t disagree and goes to bed with her, Goodnight hiding in the cupboard. Like many a good Bond Woman, Andrea is resourceful, clever and totally in charge.

If Goodnight fails the first time around to seduce Bond, she at least gets him at the end, on the “slow boat to China”. It’s been a long haul for her, but she deserves the credit. Cork does not have a high opinion of Goodnight:

Goodnight becomes the film’s bumbling heroine […] She ends the film wandering on Scaramanga’s island in a bikini, blithely causing problems such as setting off a chain reaction that blows the island to bits. Needless to say, Bond finds this exasperating, but left without an alternative, he happily takes her into his arms at film’s end. (62) Bond also tries to seduce the belly dancer Saida (Carmen Sautoy), but runs out of time. That is also the problem with the delightful Chew Mee (Françoise Thierry), swimming naked in a pool of one of Scaramanga’s (temporary) employers.

Partners: 2. Woman seduces Bond: 2 (Andrea, Goodnight). Bond seduces Woman: 0 . Mutual seductions: 0.

* * *

Ian Fleming’s The Spy who Loved Me (Lewis Gilbert, 1977)

Bond begins his part of the film in the snow-covered Austrian mountains with Log Cabin Girl (Sue Vanner). The audience is not told who seduced whom. Regardless, as soon as Bond is gone, Log Cabin Girl is on the phone to the Soviets, setting Bond up for death. In Egypt, Bond visits an old mate from Cambridge, Sheikh Hosein (Edward de Souza), in his desert tent. After an offer of sheep’s eyes, Hosein enquires:

“Can I persuade you to accept a bed for the night?” “That’s kind of you, Hosein, but I really feel I …

An Arab Beauty (Dawn Rodrigues) appears holding a red flower. Bond’s eyes widen. “Are you quite sure I can’t persuade you to stay the night?”

“When one is in Egypt, one should delve deeply into its treasures.”

Major Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach) is a Soviet agent Bond meets briefly near the Sphinx. He runs into her again at the Mujaba Club, where a game of one-upmanship ensues, both demonstrating how much they know about the other. Amasova:

“Commander James Bond, recruited to the British Secret Service from the Royal Navy. Licensed to kill and has done so on numerous occasions. Many lady friends but married only once. Wife killed in …

“All right, you’ve made your point.”

Given Amasova is clearly a brilliant and well-informed spy, it is extraordinary that she doesn’t know of Bond’s betrothal to Kissy (in You Only Live Twice). Bond has been married twice, not once.

Bond runs into Amasova again on a felucca sailing along the Nile: “It’s getting cold.”

“Is there anything I can do to warm you up?”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Mr Bond. I went on a survival course in Siberia.” “Yes, I believe a great many of your countrymen do. … What did they teach

you there?”

“That it’s very important to have a positive mental attitude?” […] “What else?”

“That’s the part I like.”

Naturally, Bond thinks he is onto a winner (he is far less suspicious than Connery’s Bond), but all he gets is the powder from a fake cigarette blown into his face. Yet again, Bond is at the mercy of a Woman.

Told by “M” that he is now to work with Amasova, Bond tries to seduce her on a train and fails. After rescuing her from the teeth of Jaws (Richard Kiel), they happily share a bunk together.

At the end, they are snuggled together in a sea-rescue capsule.

Bond wants to sleep with Felicca (Olga Bisera), but has no time. Ditto Hotel Receptionist (Valerie Leon).

Presumably Bond does have time to make a play for Naomi (Caroline Munro), along with the other Arab Beauties, but there is no evidence he tries.

Partners: 3. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 3 (Log Cabin Girl, Arab Beauty, Anya).

* * *

Ian Fleming’s Moonraker (Lewis Gilbert, 1979)

Bond’s most notable screen failure is probably Hostess Private Jet (Leila Shenna) in the pre-credits sequence. He does his best to woo her (he’s on “the last leg”, as a verbal lead-in from Moneypenny has it), but she pulls a gun on him.

Corinne Dufour (Corinne Clery), a helicopter pilot for the Drax Corporation, flies Bond to the French château of Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale), transposed most unconvincingly to California from France. But then Drax has a thing for European possessions on his estate, including Lady Victoria Devon (Françoise Gayat), Countess Labinsky (Catherine Serre), Mademoiselle Deradier (Béatrice Libert) and Signoria Del Mateo (Chicinou Kaeppler). Bond has no time to properly make their acquaintances.

Bond enters Corinne’s boudoir at night to find her dressed in a silk négligée. She has clearly been hoping he will come and immediately begins flirting:

“My mother gave me a list of things not to do on a first date.” “Maybe you won’t need it. It’s not what I came for.”

“No? What do you want, then?”

“Would your feelings be shattered if I were to say information?” “Why should I tell you anything?”

“Why, indeed.” Bond kisses her.

“You presume a great deal, Mr Bond.”

He kisses her again. She walks to the bed, tempting him more. But rather than cuddle her, Bond quizzes her for information and she makes a few vague remarks about a “secret laboratory”. She then lies back, tempting Bond once more to make love to her.

“What about that list of your mother’s?” “I never learned to read.”

Realizing he has no choice, Bond makes love to her. She has completely seduced him. Bond has no time for Blonde Beauty (Irka Bochenko) and Museum Guide (Anne Lonnberg), both at the Venini glass showroom.

The dalliance with Manuela (Emily Bolton) is a close call (and generally regarded as the fastest seduction in Bond history). She sits provocatively on a couch, in a see-through outfit that falls away to reveal a naked leg. Bond is not one to remain unstirred, asking “how do you kill five hours in Rio if you don’t Samba?”

Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles) is a Vassar-educated astronaut from NASA, working on secondment to the Drax corporation.

John Cork writes that, “She is just as conniving as Bond when it comes to the mercenary use of sex.” (63) This is true.

Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles) and James Bond

(Roger Moore) in Moonraker

Bond breaks into her suite at Venice’s Hotel Danieli, where he plays with various of her possessions: a pen that injects poison, a diary that fires darts, a perfume bottle that sprays fire.

“Standard CIA equipment and the CIA placed you with Drax, correct?” “Very astute of you, James.”

“Oh, not really. I have friends in low places.”

“Could this possibly the moment for us to pool our resources?” “It could have its compensations.”

She kisses Bond, but he is far more interested in opening and searching her desk drawer. When he realizes she will never be honest with him, he gives in to her seduction:

“Oh, I suppose you’re right, Holly. We would be better off working together? Détente.”

They fall into bed and make love. As with Major Anya Amasova in The Spy Who Loved Me, one gets the impression Bond is trailing the Woman in talent and nous. No matter: Holly and Bond happily end the film congressing weightlessly in space.

Partners: 3. Woman seduces Bond: 2 (Corinne, Holly). Bond seduces Woman: 1 (Manuela). Mutual seductions: 0. Failures: 1 (Hostess).

* * *

For Your Eyes Only (John Glen, 1981)

It does not happen often, but Bond rejects a very willing candidate in Bibi (Lynn-Holly Johnson), on the bizarre grounds that she is too young. Tim Greaves refers to “the

teenager’s ebullience” (64) in his fastidiously researched The Bond Women: 007 Style, but Bibi’s age is never given in the film. Johnson was 21 at the time of filming and looks it. For Bond to turn down an attractive and naked twentysomething is irresponsible, given she is being mentored by the probable Villain. The situation is made worse by his inane

comment: “You get your clothes on and I’ll buy you an ice cream.” What were the scriptwriters and director thinking?

Bond has to wait till he meets Countess Lisl (Cassandra Harris) before he finds anyone with whom he wishes to embrace. She is having dinner with Columbo (Topol) on a casino terrace in Corfu. They argue, she leaves and Bond offers her a lift to her beach house.

“May I call you tomorrow, Countess?”

“I’m a night person. I have champagne and oysters in the fridge.” Bond enters and the inevitable happens.

Afterwards, by the open fire, Bond asks:

“What did Columbo whisper to you [on the casino terrace]?” “That you were a spy. To find out all about you.”

“And have you?” “Have I ever!”

Thus, Lisl has seduced Bond on Columbo’s orders, and Bond was happy to play along. Melina (Carole Bouquet) is a classic Bond heroine, independent and feisty. Like Tilly Masterson in the film Goldfinger, she takes it upon herself to right a family wrong and kill the killer of a loved one. Bond is patronising towards her, but she is doing just fine. In the end, all Bond does sexually onscreen with Melina is take a nude swim. Moments beforehand, they are seen kissing on a boat in their bathrobes. This often implies a post-coital moment, but not here. As they stand and get ready for a midnight dip, Bond pushes the robe from her shoulders, leaving her naked.

“For your eyes only, darling.”

Melinda says this in such a way it can only mean Bond hasn’t seen her naked before. However, the swim implies sexual congress is not far off and it will be mutual.

Partners: 2. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Lisl). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 1 (Melina). Bond rejects Woman: 1 (Bibi).

* * *

Bianca (Tina Hudson) works with Bond during the pre-credits sequence in an unnamed South American country. There is a hint of a past romantic closeness and Bond says he will meet her again in Miami, but there really isn’t anything to suggest Bianca and Bond have, or ever will, make love. His goodbye kiss to her is way too chaste.

At Headquarters, Miss Moneypenny has an assistant, Penelope Smallbone (Michaela Clavell), but her brief meeting with Bond suggests any future relationship with 007 is as unlikely as one with Moneypenny.

The film’s first real Bond Woman is Magda (Kristina Wayborn). She is first seen working with Kamal Khan (Louis Jordan) - Tim Greaves believes she is his girlfriend (65) - at an auction for a Fabergé egg. Later at a hotel in India, she invites him to her dinner table. A photographer takes their picture and Magda does all the running.

“You don’t mind?”, Magda asks.

“Why, has Kamal forgotten what I look like already?” “It’s for me.”

“So that if I should depart this world suddenly you’ll have something to remember me by?”

“Something like that. It’s for my scrapbook. I collect memories.” “Well. Let’s get on with making a few.

Later, post-sex and holding an empty champagne glass, Magda utters one of the franchise’s most outrageous double entendres: “I need refilling.” Not surprisingly, Bond does a double-take.

Octopussy (Maud Adams) tries to buy Bond’s services at her palace:

“Oh James, we are two of a kind. There are vast rewards for a man of your talents willing to take risks.”

“I’m not for hire.”

“Oh, a man of principle … with a price on his head. Naturally, you’ll do it for Queen and Country. I have no country. I have no price on my head.

She goes to her bedroom, where they fall onto the bed.

At the end, they are cuddled together on Octopussy’s boat on her lake. It is the first time Bond has finished a film in a Bond Woman’s domain.

While staying nearly 48 hours at Octopussy’s ‘floating’ palace, Bond has plenty of opportunity to seduce some of the 17 Octopussy Girls, but appears to make no effort in that direction. But then Roger Moore’s Bond is starting to look a little too world-weary for such activities.

The same problem may be at work with the servant Schatzi (Brenda Cowling). When she shows Bond to his guest room, she flirts outrageously. It is an offer he implies he will follow up, but we know he won’t.

Partners: 2. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Magda). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 1 (Octopussy).

* * *

First up in this remake of Thunderball is Patricia (Prunella Gee), a doctor at Shrublands. When she works on his spine, Bond quips:

“You know, there is a more beneficial therapy for a man’s lower back. “Really? And what might that be?”

She gives his back a good crack.

Later, at night, Patricia comes to his room. “I thought I’d surprise you, James.” “Well, you have. Come in.”

Soon they are in bed. Mark that down to Patricia.

The feisty Fatima (Barbara Carrera) crashes into Bond’s arms when she water-skies up the ramp to a water’s-edge bar:

“Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet.” “Yes, but my martini’s still dry.”

During the subsequent conversation, Fatima does all the leading. Later, on a boat, it is the same, Fatima tossing Bond a wetsuit:

“Ah, I think that will take care of you perfectly.” “I’m sure it will. You’re remarkably well-equipped.” “Thank you …”

Bond starts undressing. “You affect me, James.”

“Well, that’s bad. Going down, one should always be relaxed … Is it far to the reef?” “Far enough. We’ve got time to kill.

Fatima embraces Bond and soon they are having sex, something rarely seen in a Bond movie.

Then there is the fishing-keen Lady in Bahamas (Valerie Leon). She and Bond meet briefly and exchange pleasantries. Later, he gives her fishing line a good tug, emerging from underwater in his wetsuit:

“It’s you!”, she exclaims.

“Well, you did say you’d catch me later.” They return to the hotel and make love.

Finally, there is Domino (Kim Bassinger), mistress to the evil Largo (Klaus Maria

Brandauer). Bond pretends to be her masseuse and works on her back. “Could you go a little lower?”, she inevitably asks.

After dancing with Bond at a casino, she ends the film with Bond snoozing in a swimming pool (the shot makes him rather look old and doddery). Domino hands Bond a fruit cocktail instead of the desired martini. When he complains, Domino remarks:

“No, you’re wrong. Those days are over.”

Bond and Domino are acting like a very settled and happy couple. There is no sexy clinch, but few would doubt that they have been lovers for quite a while, which may explain Bond’s lethargy.

Partners: 4. Woman seduces Bond: 2 (Patricia, Fatima). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 2 (Lady, Domino).

* * *

A View to a Kill (John Glen, 1985)

This is an equal high watermark for Bond, with four bed partners. But he seduces only one of them, Kimberley Jones (Mary Stavin). Kimberley pilots Bond home from a mission in the Artic in a boat camouflaged as an iceberg. When she moves near him, he revs the engine and she topples down next to him.

“Commander Bond!”

“Call me James. It’s five days to Alaska.”

May Day (Grace Jones) is a personal assistant to the dastardly Max Zorin (Christopher Walken). At Zorin’s château at Chantilly, Bond waits naked in bed for May Day to arrive. She sees him from the doorway.

May Day (Grace Jones) in A View to a Kill

“May Day, where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you to take care of me personally.”

May Day turns to Zorin (unseen by Bond), who nods that she should go in and sleep with him. She silently drops her robe.

“I see you’re a woman of very few words.”

In bed, May Day does a Lilith and insists on being on top.

Pola Ivanova (Fiona Fullerton) is a Soviet spy who, when caught by Bond spying on Zorin’s operation, does the right thing and hops into a hot tub with him. This is, after all, a time of détente, even if Bond and Pola both have double-cross on their minds.

Stacey Sutton (Tanya Roberts) is a good girl, “an ordinary woman in extraordinary

circumstances” (66), as Cork puts it. A rather lacklustre heroine (she was duded out of an oil inheritance by Zorin and wants it back), she ends up with Bond in her shower, another rare case of Bond finishing in a Woman’s domain. There is no indication of who led whom there.

Bond never gets near Jenny Flex (Alison Doody), perhaps because Doody was only 19 at the time of filming. Moore’s Bond has become rather age-gap puritanical, as witnessed by his rejection of the 21-year-old Bibi as too young in For Your Eyes Only.

Partners: 4. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 1 (Kimberly). Mutual seductions: 3 (May Day, Pola, Stacey).

* * *

The Living Daylights (John Glen, 1987)

There was a lot of press coverage when Timothy Dalton was hired to replace Roger Moore. Dalton said the Bond franchise had entered a new, more responsible era and that Bond’s reckless bed hopping would stop. John Cork is a believer:

[The filmmakers] needed to confront a growing crisis. Since the early Eighties, the spectre of AIDS/HIV had brought serious reconsideration of the more casual aspects of the sexual revolution. By 1986, health professionals urged restraint and

responsibility in the media in the depiction of sex.

In The Living Daylights, for the first time, it is not clear whether or not Bond ever sleeps with any of the women he meets on his mission […] Bond first meets a woman (Kell Tyler) on a yacht who offers him champagne, but he never even kisses her on-screen. (67)

What actually happens is Bond parachutes out of a jeep that is falling from the Rock of Gibraltar and guides himself towards a large pleasure craft. Lying there in a bikini is Girl on Yacht (Kell Tyler), holding a champagne glass and talking on an early model mobile phone: “It’s so boring here […] There’s nothing but playboys and tennis pros. If only I could find a real man.

Bond lands on the deck, near the Woman.

“I need to use your phone”, he says. […] “Exercise Control 007 here. I’ll report in an hour.”

Girl on Yacht hands him a glass of champagne. Bond smiles. “Better make that two.”

Apart from this being an obvious reprise of the moment by the river between Bond and Sylvia in From Russia, With Love, there is absolutely no doubt Bond and Girl on Yacht are about to have sex. Cork has overly bought the press hype.

Next up is the Czechoslovakian cellist Kara Milovy (Maryam d’Abo), girlfriend and pawn of General Georgi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbé). Cork claims that she and Bond never sleep together during the film, but they do … twice.

The first time is on the Ferris wheel in Vienna. Beforehand, as they walk around the amusement park, Kara tells Bond: “Take me on the wheel.” The pun is deliberate.

Aboard, Bond switches off the cabin’s interior light. Soon after, the Ferris wheel stops, with Bond and Kara at the zenith.

“I arranged it. We could be here all night.” Bond moves across and tries to kiss her.

“Don’t”, she says. “It’s impossible. Knowing you only two days and all I can think of is how we would be together.

“Don’t think. Just let it happen.”

Bond lays Kara gently down on the bench seat, John Barry’s “Bond Love Theme” soaring on the soundtrack and the camera panning to a stuffed elephant’s very long nose. Surely, there is no doubt what any of this means.

The second time is at the hideout of Kamran Shah (Art Malik), Bond and Kara shown starting to make love in their guest bedroom.

Unusually for the series, it is clear that the Woman, Kara, is leaving Bond at the end - on a world concert tour.

So, even though Timothy Dalton said in press interviews Bond only slept with one Woman (which one did he have in mind?), and despite the sensitive New Age tone to Bond’s dialogue (“Don’t think. Just let it happen.”), Bond goes to bed with two women, the franchise standard.

Of the non-partners, Rubavitch (Virginia Hey) is the girlfriend of General Leonid Pushkin (John Rhys-Davies). Bond treats her in a most ungentlemanly manner, ripping her clothes off in the name of duty. But has no interest in her.

There is a new Miss Moneypenny (Caroline Bliss) and she seems genuinely interested in Bond, rather than just flirting with him as Lois Maxwell’s Moneypenny did. The end result is the same.

Other women include Liz (Catherine Rabett) and Ava (Duliece Liecer). Bond turns down their offer to party. He didn’t realize it at the time, but they work for Felix Leiter

(John Terry).

Finally, there is the Czech pipeline worker, Rosika Miklos (Julie T. Wallace), but Bond spends just seconds with her.

Partners: 2. Woman seduces Bond: 0. Bond seduces Woman: 1 (Kara). Mutual seductions: 1 (Girl on Yacht). Bond rejects Woman: 2 (Liz, Ava).

* * *

Licence to Kill (John Glen, 1989)

Pam Bouvier (Carey Lowell) is a freelance pilot who does jobs for both the CIA and Felix Leiter (David Hedison). She and Bond make a getaway together in a powerboat, but it runs out of fuel. Pam:

“‘Out of gas.’ I haven’t heard that one in a long time.”

After Pam and Bond verbally test each other out, Pam moves forward, touches some blood on his check and kisses him.

“Why don’t you wait till you’re asked?” “Then why don’t you ask me?”

Lupe Lamora (Talisa Soto) is the girlfriend of a psychotic drug baron, Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi), who whips her when he’s mad. It takes a long time for her to get to bed with Bond, seducing him in a guest bedroom at Sanchez’s house.

At the end, though, Bond cruelly tosses her aside for Pam. Some audience members find it odd Bond opts for dull old Pam over Lupe, who has a ‘broken wing’ like other great Fleming heroines (68). But even those few who like this film don’t consider it a true Bond film. It is just a not-very-bright action movie that Bond mistakenly wandered into. No wonder Timothy Dalton opted out.

Partners: 2. Woman seduces Bond: 1 (Lupe). Bond seduces Woman: 0. Mutual seductions: 1 (Pam).

* * *

GoldenEye (Martin Campbell, 1995)

Pierce Brosnan’s Bond begins the film driving through the South of France at great speed with Caroline (Serena Gordon), who is supposed to be evaluating him psychologically, but probably knows more about him physically.

“James, it is really necessary to drive quite so fast? “More often than you think.”

“I enjoy a spirited ride as much as the next girl, but …”

Bond sees Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) pull alongside in a red Ferrari. “Who’s that?”, Caroline wonders aloud.

“The next girl.”

After Bond dangerously races Xenia’s Ferrari, Caroline tells Bond to stop the car. He does so, dramatically:

“As you can see, I have no problem with female authority.”

He then reveals a bottle of chilled bottle Bollinger in the centre console. “James, you’re incorrigible. What am I going to do with you?” “Let’s toast your evaluation, shall we?”

Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) and James Bond

(Pierce Brosnan) in GoldenEye