Okay, so you've successfully closed her, and you two are together, OFF company
grounds, and OFF the clock, with no other co-workers around. At this point you can play standard game, physically escalate, sexual framing, test boundaries, etc. Her social conditioning at the workplace will be minimal, and she can't file a harassment complaint if things get out of hand.
At this point you absolutely MUST to switch from indirect game to direct game. It doesn't matter if you're both out to lunch together and you have to be back at work in 30 minutes. Use the time off company grounds to communicate your romantic or sexual interest. There may not be another opportunity to do so.
When you greet each other, you hug her, and maybe a kiss on the cheek depending on your comfort. But hug her nonetheless. This is a form of intimacy that signals that you two are more that mere co-workers, and the potential for more than friends.
This means more physical escalation attempts to kiss her, more suggestive and even explicit language. This is when you need to bring out the "bad boy" in you and make it blatantly obvious that you're a sexual man. The indirect approach in the workplace was a means of keeping your methods of attraction and comfort under the radar, so as to maintain her comfort levels, and minimize the risk of harassment complaints. Now that you've removed her from that environment, it's time to really turn up the heat.
Make sure you're OFF company grounds and OFF the clock. "OFF company grounds" means you two not physically on company property, including the parking lot. "OFF the clock" means you two are not doing anything that's work-related or within the hours you normally work. Even if both of your are salaried employees, you're generally considered "off the clock" if you leave to get some lunch or after you leave work for the day. When it comes to sexual interest from a woman's perspective, understand 2 things:
1. If your target is reasonably attractive looking and you're communicating interest in her, then she KNOWS you want to have sex with her. In fact, many unattractive women feel the same way when they feel a man is giving them attention. She's intelligent enough to know that you aren't interacting with her "just to chat" or "just to be friends". You want sex. Period.
2. If your target is genuinely attracted to you and she's investing in the courtship, then she WANTS to have sex with you. She doesn't want to come out and say it, and expects you to lead her there. You can start by simply telling her that you have the same interests. There are many men who swear by indirect game from meet to sex. But you would be surprised at how many steps you eliminate if you simply tell a woman upfront that you want to have sex with her. It sounds suicidal to most men, but that's only because these men have been exposed mostly to principles of indirect game. They don't want to risk
"offending" or being "criticized" by their target, and therefore they are afraid of jeopardizing all their efforts by expressing sexual interest too soon.
We're talking about workplace dating here. You didn't meet her an hour ago at the club. You already attracted her at work. She already got comfortable with you at work. It's not necessary to "slowly" and "indirectly" or "spontaneously" induce sexual states in her mind. If she's really attracted to you, you can openly talk dirty to her and she will get turned on.
The main reason why most men won't be direct is because of the fear that women will reject and criticize them. But their harsh reactions stem from 2 things: 1) They have never encountered a man who was so bold and forward about his interests. This alone is
incredibly attractive to them and 2) Their insults and criticisms are a test to see if you're body language and frame is congruent with what you're saying. But if you remain
unaffected and persistent, while keeping good eye contact, then just like Drago, you must ‘break’ her, and she will give into you.
Going direct will also test to see if she's interested in you either romantically or
platonically. Yes, some women at work will go out with you even though they are NOT attracted to you. This is especially if you DIRECTLY closed her and she accepted. But unfortunately you overlooked the fact that she wasn't really investing or giving you many strong IOIs, other than being merely open to you in conversation. Now she's hoping to be wined and dined and simply going for the ride at your expense, and not give you any "love" in return. So when you start exhibiting sexual behavior towards her and she's attracted to you, she will remain passive or reciprocate. But if she's NOT interested in you romantically she will stop you and tell you that she's not interested in you in that way. So you absolutely MUST communicate your romantic or sexual interest in her when both of you are OFF company grounds, and OFF the clock.
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THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING FIRM AND STICKING TO YOUR INTERESTS AND INTENTIONS
Let's say you KNOW you want only casual sex with no strings attached. This following is the WRONG way to communicate those interests:
You: "...and uhhh...I don't think I want a serious relationship right now...but I'm not sure...maybe...I don't know..."
Her: "Well, I want to be in a committed relationship before having sex with anyone." You: "That's cool. I'm a flexible person."
Overtime, you will become unhappy with the situation because it's not what you really wanted. And it will adversely affect your relationship and your sex life.
You can have your cake and eat it too. You don't have to compromise your values for the sake of getting some pussy.
This following is the RIGHT way:
You: "And I just want to focus on my career (or college), so I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now. I’m more interested in finding a lover to enjoy myself with on occasion."
Her: "Well, I want to be in a committed relationship before having sex with anyone." You: "That's fine. I respect your decision and hope you find someone who can meet your needs."
You may say, "But most women want a committed relationship before having sex." That's true in some cases. After all, who wants sex that they're not sure is going to be around next week or next month? So yes, women want to have sex consistently and a surefire way to get that is within the provisions of a monogamous relationship. The additional benefit is neither partner can have sex with others, thereby reducing the chances of either catching any STDs.
But in light of this, you must realize that NOT all women want a monogamous
relationship. She too may want to focus on her career or college, or she simply wants to be free to make her own life decisions without input from anyone else:
You: "To be honest, I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now. I thought you and I could be lovers from time to time if you’re open to the idea."
Her: "You know, I’d really like that. So many people jump into a serious relationship right from the start. I love my freedom."
Make her feel like she means more to you than just some hole. That there is a strong passion between you two, even if it is only sexual in nature. As long as you communicate your expectations upfront, and make her feel special and confident in you, she will yield to you.
The point is that there are women out there who want the same thing you want, and those that don't MAY be flexible to accommodate your interests. All you need to do is be firm and stick to YOUR interests.
One of the benefits of being upfront and direct is even if she rejects your intentions, she will admire your candor. She might even tell some of her female friends about you, including women at work. This works in your favor because she is raising your value in their eyes. You are now viewed as a ladies' man before you even have your first
conversation with them, and they will be curious as to how you might interact with them. COMMUNICATING YOUR INTENTIONS
The main reason for being honest about your intentions is so that not only does she know up front what to expect from the relationship, but also in case you want to end the
relationship at a later time (especially if it’s a casual sex relationship), it minimizes her reacting vindictively because you’ve been honest from the start.
She wants to know "Where is this relationship going?", without having to come out and ask. If she's any way attracted to you, she KNOWS it will inevitably lead to sex, but she wants to know in what context? Do you want sex within a committed relationship? Or casual sex with no strings attached? Remember, as a man and leader, she expects you to lead her. So step up and tell her what your interests and intentions are for the relationship between you two.
If she's interested in an romantic relationship with you, she may bring up the subject of Dating and Relationships by asking you questions like, "Do you have a girlfriend?" or "What are you looking for in a relationship?"
Once you're OFF company grounds, and OFF the clock, at some point you want to clearly communicate the direction you want the relationship to go, and see if she has the same interests. There are generally 2 types of relationships you can pursue at this point: 1) monogamous relationship (sex as boyfriend and girlfriend)
2) non-monogamous relationship (sex with no strings attached or Friends with Benefits) Here's how to communicate these interests and how to deal with any resistance or rejection.
MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP
How much your target invests in the courtship OFF company ground will be an
indication of how she views you and the relationship. If she's genuinely attracted to you she will do things such as pick you up in her car, or pay a portion towards the date, of perform some gesture to show that she's contributing as opposed to you doing everything.
Remember, it is VERY important that you state what you want as if she wants the same thing. This makes you sound more natural, but not awkward because you're not worried if she'll say No. You already KNOW she wants the same thing you want. This level of confidence will influence her to say Yes.
communicate that you want her for a girlfriend:
You: "You know, I really like you and I want you to be my girlfriend. What do you think about that?"
If both of you want a monogamous relationship, but she doesn't want sex too soon, if you feel she is worth it, then wait patiently for her. A woman will wait for a few reasons. She doesn't want to appear easy. She wants to get to know you over time without sex to cloud her judgments. This is especially if you're a good lover. She doesn't want the relationship to be "just about sex". She wants you to be affectionate and give her attention outside the bedroom. Therefore, she needs evidence that you want her for HER, not just her body. Until sex occurs, make sure she is adequately investing in the relationship as opposed to you saying and doing everything. In general, a woman who is genuinely committed to maintain a relationship with you will do things for such as cook a meal for you, buy you gifts, or pay your way. Of course in return, you should increase the amount of attention and affection you give her. Appreciate her for the ways in which she takes care of you. NON-MANOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP
You can even communicate that you want casual sex. I encourage the direct approach: You: “You know, I’m not looking for in a committed relationship. I find you very attractive and I’m more interested in us being lovers if you’re interested.”
Her: “I like that idea. It’s nice to meet someone who is so honest about what he wants.” (I have gotten a response like this on several occasions.)
If you’re not sure your target is open and adventurous, then you can test to see if she's interested in you romantically. This is especially if she is someone at work who you encounter quite frequently, such as someone who works in your department, or someone you often assist with work-related tasks. If you move too fast without getting an idea of how interested she is in you, you could experience awkward moments on your date, and in the workplace.
You also want to do this for women you have closed INdirectly, particularly if she hasn't shown strong interest. She may still view you only as a platonic or professional interest and would like to keep it that way.
Test the waters through physical escalation, caressing her back or kissing her. Boldly but gently get into her personal space. If she's receptive to these advances, then you can safely express your sexual desire for her.
Also, get into conversations about Dating and Relationship, then transition to
conversations about Sex. You want to talk about Dating and Relationships so you can communicate your expectations to the woman you're dating. You want to talk about sex to arouse her and close her for sex.
CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SEX
You: "The reason why I broke up with one of my girlfriends is because she wasn't good in bed."
Her: "Really? What happened?"
You: "Well, she rarely gave me head, and when she did it wasn't all that great." (This creates a challenge for her.)
You: "Would you rather have sex with a man who made you come once a week, or use a vibrator that made you come everyday?"
SEX CLOSE
Remember, you are Cool and Calm. Give her strong eye contact with a slight smile, like the Mona Lisa. It doesn't have to be explicit, vulgar language. But it has to communicate that you are referring to having sex with her:
You: "I find you very attractive, and I would love to get to know you better at my place. It'll be romantic."
You: "I'd like to get together with you romantically."
You: "You know, I'd like to see you later tonight for some one-on-one romance." You: "I don't want this moment to end. Let's go back to my place."
You: "I find you incredibly sexy, and I would love to have some fun with you beneath the sheets."
You: "I want you to come to my place so we can do some naughty things together." You: "If you promise to be good, I might let you sleep with me. But if you're bad, I'll have to send you home when we're through."
You: "Can I tell you a secret?" Her: "What."
You: "I would love to have sex with you."
If she seems receptive to your sexual interest in her, you can accelerate her arousal by vividly describing what you want to do with her. For example, you might whisper in her ear something like, "I want you to feel the warmth of my body pressed against yours while I'm stroking in and out of you." The more visual and sensual you are in your description, the more turned on she will be. You can say this to even the most prudish, conservative, religious women, and they WILL be turned on. Remember, women are turned on by what they hear, and are seduced by your words.
Dating coaches of the indirect method say you should be indirect from meet to sex so as to maintain her comfort levels. However, there are two benefits for communicating your romantic or sexual interest in a clear, direct manner:
1. You bypass many of the steps and issues that arise from using the indirect method. No last minute resistance or reactions to keep her from feeling like a slut.
2. You filter out female manipulators. This is because some women may actually NOT be romantically interested in you at all, but will give you the impression that they're
interested in order to lead you on and manipulate you. Yes, there are women in your workplace who want nothing more than to have male "friends" who they can use to "entertain" them with conversation when they're bored, or men who they can use as "therapists" to vent about their problems, their lovers, or to receive attention and flattery. These women will usually be in committed relationships (hence why you should ask about her relationship status See), although others are single. But they will all use your openness and friendliness as a way of taking advantage of you (see Friends zone). This is why you MUST communicate your interests clearly. When you communicate your interests clearly, you tend to get a clear, specific response from her as to how she views you and the relationship, which minimizes her chances of manipulating you. Example of vague, ambiguous communication:
You: "I really like you a lot."
Her: "I like you too. How about you take me out to dinner sometime?"
Her request for dinner can be the start of her using you for personal gain, without giving you the thing you want in return. But when you're clear and specific about your interests and intentions, she can't help but be clear to you in return:
Example of clear, direct communication:
You: "What do you think about us being boyfriend and girlfriend?" or "I want you to come to my place so we can do some naughty things together."
Her: "Okay, let's try it out and see how it goes." or "I'm not interested in you that way." or "Let's just be friends."
The basic premise for dealing with a manipulative woman is to either let her go, or do for her only in direct proportion what she does for you. If she's giving you sex regularly, then feel free to do what she wants. But if she's holding back from you the things that you want, then you hold back from her the things that she wants. As far as I'm concerned, this isn't love at all, but I'm providing you a basic guideline if you feel you might be dealing