COMPARE AND CONTRAST D6-T54 Listen to an example where many of these are used

A Tactic for Talking

• Too many guys let a good conversational subject finish far too quickly. This method provides a way to keep the conversation going.

• You are just comparing and contrasting things, this is a means to keep speaking, to continue, and move a conversation.

• It's not magical in a persuasive sense; it's just a good way to think about discussing a subject, or various aspects of a subject, or several different subjects.

• This works especially well if the subject of the discussion is one that "works" for our purposes (fun, exciting, seductive, etc.)

• Too many guys focus on standard lines such as "So what do you like about X". This Compare and Contrast method here gives you a way to talk about and around the subjects at hand.

• It also a great way to get information about the person with which you are speaking.

How to use it.

• Take a subject and either mention another aspect of that subject, or else have the person you are speaking with mention it.

• So, you have two (or more) aspects of a topic, and you discuss these two aspects using Compare and Contrast.

There are various means of doing this, you can talk about...

• How two things are similar

• How two things are different

• Good - Bad

• One option - another option

• Black - White

• Right - Left

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• One aspect - another aspect -.

• One attribute - another attribute

As you are talking, you can use all of the other tools we have discussed.

• Notice what is liked and not liked

• Notice any reactions, good or bad.

• Link anything good to you.

• Anything bad, link away.

• • Use opportunities to use commands and trance words to create thoughts, feelings, states, that are good for you.

As you are talking, you can take note of how the person is responding, what they like, what they do not, etc. This all provides a good way to allow the discussion to continue for a while, and to let the person think about,

experience, and feel those states and emotions for a while as well.

Strategic Formula for Compare And Contrast

Use this technique to keep the conversation going, keep the discussion focused on a topic that serves your purposes, and incorporate the language tools.

Tactical Formula for Compare And Contrast

Take any subject, idea, or point in a discussion. Select another subject, idea, or point in a discussion ... then discuss these by comparing and contrasting.

How do these differ How are they the same

Which is good-bad, better-worse, easy-difficult, etc.

Use the other language tools during the discussion.

Examples

• One brand of car vs. another brand, you can talk about one car, and discuss whether the handling makes it better, or its power. Then discuss the other car, and talk about its attributes as well.

• Maybe what is more important to a sports team, the offense or the defense, or individual sports vs.

team sports. You discuss this, compare, and contrast these things.

• Decisions about a career or job, deciding to focus on making a good living now, vs. taking a position with a more promising future.

• You may talk to a woman, and you start to talk about something she likes and enjoys doing.

o Maybe you start to ask her about it (have a discussion with her - about her) and she mentions various things about that subject.

o You select two items, two facets of that subject, and start to compare and contrast the two. What is different about each? How are they the same? How are they experienced? What is good? What is bad? etc.

o While talking about what she does like, you can anchor and link positive things to you!

o While talking about things she does not like, you can anchor those away from yourself; associate them with things other than you, her, this meeting, and this situation that you are sharing.

• You talk to someone for a while and she say she likes scuba diving.

o Maybe you ask about it, she mentions various things about it. She says she likes the aspect of it being very quiet and serene under water. Also, she finds the experience of seeing new and different things to be interesting as well.

o So we talk about the feeling of quiet, peace, and serenity on one hand

o and compare and contrast that to the feeling of something new and different on the other.

• Familiarity vs. Something New

• Control vs. Letting Go

• Safety and Excitement

• Liking someone mentally and/or physically

Exercises for Compare And Contrast

1) Pick some possession that you have that you REALLY like (car, computer, bike, clothes, etc). Now think of what is opposite to that - same type of thing (another car, different computer, different style of clothing, etc).

Now talk out loud about each, and compare/contrast the two.

This example uses a very obvious "Like vs. Not-Like" set of things to compare and contrast.

Something that you like Something that is opposite

2) Now take that same topic, and talk about it again, but this time put some effort into being very aware of the positive and negative things that are being said, and anchor/link/point appropriately.

Be aware of your language! Throw in adjectives and adverbs. Be descriptive! Use pauses; change your tone of voice, your pacing, etc. Maybe some of the language that you are using that may lend itself to be

embedded commands, etc.

Be vary aware that even when you are discussing the thing you "Like", that within that may be attributes that are good, and those that are not good. Be mindful of that and anchor/link appropriately. In addition, the same holds true even when discussing what you do NOT like.

3) Recall a recent conversation with someone you know, where they were really describing or talking about something they like, and various things about that subject or topic that they like.

Re-enact that conversation again, and this time, offer the compare-contrast ways of discussing it. As in "so let me make sure I understand this .." or ..."Oh, so if you like THAT, then I KNOW that you would NOT like THIS ...(because)...", etc. Use compare and contrast to talk about each of the attributes that your friend would say they like about that subject.

Subject or thing that they like

Attributes (things about) that, that they do like

Do the re-enactment again, and this time, be very aware of the positive and negative things that are being said, and put effort into correct linking/anchoring/pointing to associate positive things to you, and negative things ... somewhere else.

4) Select two of the following 4 topics...

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Control vs. Letting Go Safety and Excitement

Liking someone mentally and/or physically Familiarity vs. Something New

Now do your best to speak out loud and "talk" about these for a while using a Compare and Contrast structure.

For even more Power

There IS a very powerful aspect of this technique that is important to mention. There ARE many things that people tend to THINK of in an "either-or" way. For example, Safety vs. Excitement. People tend to think you have one OR the other.

However there ARE ways to have BOTH. By comparing and contrasting them, you can show someone how that can be possible. Think about the possibilities, of having all of the positive aspects of Safety, and the positive aspects of excitement, BOTH linked and anchored to YOU. YOU are then showing someone how BOTH of these things can be experienced, together.

3.6 PARTS D7-T1