In using nonverbal messages whether unconsciously or to express your meanings, consider these suggestions:
n Consider your choices for your nonverbal communication just as you do for your verbal
messages. Identify and think mindfully about the choices you have available for communi- cating what you want to communicate.
n Keep your nonverbal messages consistent with your verbal messages; avoid sending verbal
messages that say one thing and nonverbal messages that say something else—at least not when you want to be believed.
VIEWPOINTS Research shows that women are per- ceived to be, and in reality are, more skilled at both encoding and decoding nonverbal messages (Briton & Hall, 1995a). Do you notice this in your own interactions? Do these differences give women an advantage in conversation? In negotiation? In conflict resolution? In serving on a jury?
Monitor your own nonverbal messages with the same care that you monitor your verbal messages. If it’s not appropriate to say “this meal is terrible,” then it’s not appropriate to have a negative expression when you’re asked if you want seconds.
Avoid extremes and monotony. Too little nonverbal communication or too much are likely to be responded to negatively. Similarly, always giving the same nonverbal message—say, continually smiling and nodding your head when listening to a friend’s long story—is likely to be seen as insincere.
Take the situation into consideration. Effective nonverbal communication is situational; to be effective adapt your nonverbal messages to the specific situation. Nonverbal behavior appropriate to one situation may be totally inappropriate in another.
Maintain eye contact with the speaker—whether at a meeting, in the hallway, or on an el- evator; it communicates politeness and says that you are giving the person the consider- ation of your full attention. Eye contact that is too focused and too prolonged is likely to be seen as invasive and impolite.
Avoid using certain adaptors in public—for example, combing your hair, picking your teeth, or putting your pinky in your ear; these will be seen as impolite. And, not surpris- ingly, the greater the formality of the situation, the greater the perception of impoliteness is likely to be. So, for example, combing your hair while sitting with two or three friends would probably not be considered impolite (or perhaps only mildly so), but in a classroom or at a company meeting, it would be considered inappropriate.
Avoid strong cologne or perfume. While you may enjoy the scent, those around you may find it unpleasant and intrusive. Much like others do not want to hear your cell messages, they probably don’t want to have their sense of smell invaded either.
Be careful with touching; it may or may not be considered appropriate or polite depending on the relationship you have with the other person and on the context in which you find yourselves. The best advice to give here is to avoid touching unless it’s part of the culture of the group or organization.
Use your smartphone or tablet device (or log on to mycommunicationlab.com) to hear an audio summary of Chapter 6.
This chapter explored nonverbal communi- cation and identified the varied channels of nonverbal communication, several functions of nonverbal com- munication that research has focused on, and the influence of culture on nonverbal messages.
Principles of Nonverbal Communication
1. Nonverbal messages interact with verbal messages in six major ways: to accent, to complement, to contradict, to control, to repeat, and to substitute for each other. 2. Nonverbal messages help manage impressions. It is largely
through the nonverbal communications of others that you form impressions of them and through your nonverbals that they draw impressions of you.
3. Nonverbal messages help you form relationships. You communicate affection, support, and love, and also dis- pleasure, anger, and animosity through nonverbal signals.
4. Nonverbal messages structure conversation. When you’re in conversation, you exchange nonverbal signals indicat- ing that you’re ready to speak, to listen, to comment on what the speaker just said.
5. Nonverbal messages can influence and deceive. You can influence (and deceive) others not only through what you say but also through your nonverbal signals.
6. Nonverbal messages are crucial for emotional expression. Although people often explain and reveal emotions ver- bally, nonverbal signals communicate a great part of your emotional experience.
Channels of Nonverbal Communication
7. Nonverbal messages are communicated through a variety of channels and their meanings will be greatly influenced by culture.
8. Among body gestures are emblems, illustrators, affect dis- plays, regulators, and adaptors.
9. General body appearance (e.g., height, weight, and eye and skin colors) can communicate a person’s power, level of
attractiveness, and suitability as a friend or romantic partner.
10. Facial movements express emotions, such as happiness, surprise, fear, anger, sadness, disgust/contempt, interest, bewilderment, and determination. Some facial move- ments manage the meanings being communicated by means of intensifying, deintensifying, neutralizing, mask- ing, and simulating.
11. Through eye contact we monitor feedback, maintain interest/attention, signal conversational turns, signal the nature of relationships, signal status, and compensate for physical distance. Through eye avoidance we may give others privacy, signal disinterest, cut off unpleasant stimuli, or heighten other senses. Pupil dilation indicates interest/ arousal and increases attractiveness.
12. Among the meanings touch can communicate are posi- tive affect, playfulness, control, ritual functions, and task- relatedness.
13. Paralanguage cues help people form impressions; identify emotional states; and make judgments of speakers’ credi- bility, intelligence, and objectivity.
14. Silence can communicate varied meanings ( for example, to hurt, to prevent communication, to achieve special ef- fects). The spiral of silence theory offers an interesting per- spective on the influence of silence.
15. The major types of distance that correspond to types of relationships are intimate distance (touching to 18 inches), personal distance (18 inches to 4 feet), social distance (4 to 12 feet), and public distance (12 or more feet).
16. Theories about space include protection theory (you main- tain spatial distance to protect yourself); equilibrium theory
(you regulate distance according to the intimacy level of your relationship); and expectancy violations theory (in- creasing or decreasing the expected distance between yourself and another can send important messages). 17. Your territories may be identified as primary (areas you
own), secondary (areas that you occupy regularly), and public (areas open to everyone). Like animals, humans of- ten mark their territories with central, boundary, and ear markers as proof of ownership. Your territory (its appear- ance and the way it’s used) also communicates status. 18. Among the artifactual nonverbal cues are space decoration,
color, clothing and body adornment, and the use of scent. 19. Three main time orientations can be distinguished: past,
present, and future. These orientations influence a wide vari- ety of behaviors, such as your willingness to plan for the fu- ture, your tendency to party, and even your potential income.
Nonverbal Communication Competence
20. You can increase your nonverbal decoding competence by mindfully seeking alternative judgments, being tentative, attending to all nonverbal channels, considering being wrong, being sensitive to the cultural context, and consid- ering the vast array of factors that can influence what a person does or says.
21. You can increase your nonverbal encoding competence by considering your choices for communicating, being consis- tent in your messages, monitoring your nonverbal choices, avoiding extremes, being aware of the situation, maintaining eye contact, avoiding adaptors, avoiding strong and poten- tially unpleasant scents, and being cautious about touching.