Successful interpersonal communication depends largely on the accuracy of the impressions you form of others. We’ve already seen the potential barriers that can arise with each of the perceptual processes, such as the self-serving bias or overattribution. In addition to avoiding these barriers, here are additional ways to increase your accuracy in impression formation.
Analyze Impressions
Subject your perceptions to logical analysis, to critical thinking. Here are two suggestions:n Recognize your own role in perception. Your emotional and physiological state will
influence the meaning you give to your perceptions. A movie may seem hysterically funny when you’re in a good mood but just plain stupid when you’re in a bad mood. Understand your own biases; for example, do you tend to perceive only the positive in people you like and only the negative in people you don’t like?
n Avoid early conclusions. On the basis of your observations of behaviors, formulate hypoth-
eses to test against additional information and evidence; avoid drawing conclusions that you then look to confirm. Look for a variety of cues pointing in the same direction. The more cues point to the same conclusion, the more likely your conclusion will be correct. Be especially alert to contradictory cues that seem to refute your initial hypotheses. At the same time,
VIEWPOINTS Writers to advice columnists generally attribute their problems to external sources (the economy, an inconsiderate partner), whereas the columnists’ responses often focus on internal sources (what has the writer done or not done); and their advice is therefore directed at the writer (you shouldn’t have done that, apologize, get out of the relation- ship) (Schoeneman & Rubanowitz, 1985). Do you observe the same pattern when people discuss their problems with you, whether face-to-face, in letters, or in e-mail? Do you generally respond in the same ways as the advice columnists?
seek validation from others. Do others see things in the same way you do? If not, ask yourself if your perceptions may be distorted in some way.
Check Perceptions
Perception checking is another way to reduce uncertainty and tomake your perceptions more accurate. The goal of perception checking is to further explore the thoughts and feelings of the other person, not to prove that your initial perception is cor- rect. With this simple technique, you lessen your chances of misinterpreting another’s feel- ings. At the same time, you give the other person an opportunity to elaborate on his or her thoughts and feelings. In its most basic form, perception checking consists of two steps: 1. Describe what you see or hear, recognizing that descriptions are not really objective but
are heavily influenced by who you are, your emotional state, and so on. At the same time, you may wish to describe what you think is happening. Try to do this as descriptively (not evaluatively) as you can. Sometimes you may wish to offer several possibilities.
n You’ve called me from work a lot this week. You seem concerned that everything is
all right at home.
n You’ve not wanted to talk with me all week. You say that my work is fine, but you don’t
seem to want to give me the same responsibilities that other research assistants have.
2. Seek confirmation: Ask the other person if your description is accurate. Avoid mind
reading; that is, don’t try to read the thoughts and feelings of another person just from observing their behaviors. Regardless of how many behaviors you observe and how
carefully you examine them, you can only guess what is going on in someone’s mind. A person’s motives are not open to outside inspec- tion; you can only make assumptions based on overt behaviors. So be careful that your request for confirmation does not sound as though you already know the answer. Avoid phrasing your questions defen- sively; for example, “You really don’t want to go out, do you? I knew you didn’t when you turned on that lousy television.” Instead, ask for confir- mation in as supportive a way as possible.
n Would you rather watch TV?
n Are you worried about me, or the kids?
n Are you displeased with my work? Is there anything I can do to im-
prove my job performance?
Reduce Uncertainty
In every interpersonal situation there is some degree of uncertainty. A variety of strategies can help reduce uncertainty (Berger & Bradac, 1982; Gudykunst, 1993; Brashers, 2007).n Observing another person while he or she is engaged in an active task, preferably interact-
ing with others in an informal social situation, will often reveal a great deal about the per- son, as people are less apt to monitor their behaviors and more likely to reveal their true selves in informal situations.
n You can sometimes manipulate situations so as to observe the person in more specific
and revealing contexts. Employment interviews, theatrical auditions, and student teach- ing are good examples of situations arranged to provide an accurate view of the person in action.
n When you log on to an Internet chat group and lurk, reading the exchanges between the
other group members before saying anything yourself, you’re learning about the people in the group and about the group itself, thus reducing uncertainty. When uncertainty is reduced, you’re more likely to make contributions that will be appropriate to the group and less likely to violate the group’s norms.
n Learn about a person through asking others. You might inquire of a colleague if a third
person finds you interesting and might like to have dinner with you.
n Interact with the individual. For example, you can ask questions: “Do you enjoy sports?”
“What did you think of that computer science course?” “What would you do if you got
Interpersonal ChoICe poInt
Mutual Attraction Testing
You’ve become attracted to another student in your class but don’t know if it’s mutual. In what ways might you use the suggestions discussed here for increasing your own accuracy in perceiving whether or not the attraction is mutual?
fired?” You also gain knowledge of another by revealing information about yourself, which encourages the other person to also talk about himself or herself.
Increase Cultural Sensitivity
Cultural sensitivity—recognizing and being sensitive tocultural differences—will help increase your accuracy in perception. For example, Russian or Chinese artists such as ballet dancers will often applaud their audience by clapping. Ameri- cans seeing this may easily interpret this as egotistical. Similarly, a German man will enter a restaurant before the woman in order to see if the place is respectable enough for the woman to enter. This simple custom can easily be interpreted as rude when viewed by peo- ple from cultures in which it’s considered courteous for the woman to enter first (Axtell, 2007).
Within every cultural group there are wide and important differences. As all Americans are not alike, neither are all Indonesians, Greeks, or Mexicans. When you make assumptions that all people of a certain culture are alike, you’re thinking in stereotypes. Recognizing differ- ences between another culture and your own, and among members of the same culture, will help you perceive situations more accurately.
Cultural sensitivity will help counteract the difficulty most people have in understanding the nonverbal messages of people from other cultures. For example, it’s easier to interpret the facial expressions of members of your own culture than those of members of other cul- tures (Weathers, Frank, & Spell, 2002). This “in-group advantage” will assist your percep- tional accuracy for members of your own culture but will often hinder your accuracy for members of other cultures (Elfenbein & Ambady, 2002).
The suggestions for improving intercultural communication offered in Chapter 2 (pp. 42–49) are applicable to increasing your cultural sensitivity in perception. For example, educate yourself; reduce uncertainty; recognize differences (between yourself and people from other cultures, among members of other cultures, and between your meanings and the meanings that people from other cultures may have); confront your stereotypes; and adjust your communication.
Impression Management:
Goals and Strategies
Impression management (some writers use the term “self-
presentation” or “identity management”) has to do with the processes you go through to communicate the image of your- self that you want others to have of you.
The impression you make on others is largely the result of the messages you communicate. In the same way that you form impressions of others largely on the basis of how they communicate, verbally and nonverbally, you also convey an impression of yourself through what you say (your verbal messages) and how you act and dress, as well as how you decorate your office or apartment (your nonverbal messages). Communication messages, however, are not the only means for impression formation and management. For example, you also communicate your self-image by the people with whom you associate (and judge others the same way); if you associ- ate with A-list people, then surely you must be A-list yourself, the theory goes. Also, as illustrated in the discussion of stereo- types, you may form an impression of someone on the basis of that person’s age, gender, or ethnic origin. Or you may rely on what others have said about the person and form impressions
VIEWPOINTS What one suggestion for increasing accuracy in impression formation do you wish others would follow more often when they make judgments about you?
that are consistent with these comments. And, of course, the others may do the same in form- ing impressions of you.
Part of the art and skill of interpersonal communication is to understand and be able to manage the impressions you give to others; mastering the art of impression management will enable you to present yourself as you want others to see you—at least to some extent. The strategies you use to achieve this desired impression will depend on your specific goal. Here is an interpersonal typology of seven major communication goals and strategies of impres- sion management. As you read about these goals and strategies, and about how these strategies can backfire, consider your own attempts to communicate the “right” impression to others and what you do (that is, the strategies you use) to achieve this unique kind of communication.