Preventing Breakup - The Ex Factor

Once you’ve gotten back with your boyfriend or husband, it’s important that you know how to keep him this time. To be honest, if you’ve read this far, you probably already know how to keep the attraction alive, so I’m not going to go over information that’s already been stated.

If you sense that your boyfriend is drifting away, then let him know that you aren’t going to stay around. Keep him in line by threatening him that you’ll leave if he continues acting in an

unacceptable way, but don’t say it resentfully, just simply say, “Babe, if that’s how you feel, then break up with me.”

By doing this, you are

instilling fear within him and you’re letting him know that you’re a confident woman. You’re showing

that you don’t need him.

Keep Things Interesting

This is one of the biggest killers of relationships: boredom. A lack of interest is a very powerful force, so you need to deal with it accordingly.

There are some very obvious relationship phases. You might have heard of the term “Honeymooning Phase” – this is when a relationship is new, fresh, exciting, and full of mystery. But once that phase ends, things get a little more relaxed. You’ve gotten to know him and he’s gotten to know you. The interest isn’t as strong as it was before (though the bond may be stronger). It is now a slow progression of you two growing together – not of two people simply coming together. After awhile, things will

inevitably get stale. This is what I like to call the “Bonded Phase”.

Think of your life for a minute. Is every single moment in your life super exciting?

I can guarantee you that it isn’t. There will always be “down time” in life, and the same goes for relationships. So now that we’ve accepted that “down time” is part of

relationships, the only thing we can do to help prevent boredom is to make this “down time” temporary.

But if he’s becoming bored, then maybe now is the time to ask yourself why boredom is happening. Is it because you’re spending too much time with him? Is it because you are constantly in a bad mood and never want to do anything? Now is the perfect time to reflect on your relationship and find out some causes for this lack of interest. In all good relationships, communication is paramount. Both of you have to work together, problem-solve together, and thus grow together.

Here are a few things that will help you keep your relationship feeling a little bit more alive:

1.) Set up a semi-routine date night. Make sure you set aside time each week to go out and spend quality time together. Don’t make it happen just “every Wednesday” or “every Friday”… mix it up a little bit and keep him on his toes.

Keep him guessing.

2.) Join a club or group. Do some fun classes together. Try and learn something new with him. This is a great bonding experience.

3.) Be social together and go out with friends. Occasionally bring out your boyfriend to social events and meet more people. Keep in mind that couples

love meeting other couples!

4.) Gifts! Very occasionally get him thoughtful and inexpensive gifts.

5.) Get a pet. Go to a pet store together and buy a pet that’s easy to care for.

Make sure you both see the pet as

“yours,” and share the responsibility of maintaining it. Fish are easy and fun without being too much work. Cats are good if you live together and can afford the expense. Your new furry (or finned) friend will give you something to do together, and something to talk about.

6.) Learn to talk about anything. Yes, a lot

of the time when couples are bored it’s because they have nothing left to talk about since the mystery has vanished. Start reading and expand your

knowledge base and talk about new things you’ve learned. This will not only

help your relationship but yourself as well.

7.) Confront him about a lost passion. Did he used to love riding motorcycles or playing the guitar? Ask why he stopped, then surprise him with a gift relating to that activity. He will love you for it!

8.) Get his adrenaline pumping. If you do sense your boyfriend is slipping away, then sometimes a nice big adrenaline-fueled adventure is what’s needed to spark the attraction again. Though this isn’t a long-term solution, it often works well as a stopgap. Go to a theme park and go on some rides together.

Go bungee jumping. Go sky-diving. Plan a huge trip together… or even a simple road trip! Give your boyfriend something to work towards and look forward to.

9.) Make sex more interesting. Buy toys, lingerie, even role-play! Your man is willing to go further than you think he will.

Induce Jealousy

If things are really looking really grim, then nothing works better than plain old jealousy. Start flirting with other men… a lot! Go out on a date with your boyfriend and start flirting with some other men. Get a guy friend to send you a sexy message and let your man see it. Find reasons to talk to his guy friends.

Just make it known to your boyfriend that other guys are chasing you. Once he gets a genuine feeling that he’s close to losing you, he’ll start feeling more attracted to you. I know, it doesn’t sound logical, but it works… and it works almost too well.

Again, I don’t condone these acts, but they just work so well that I just had to include them in my book.

Chapter 13 Conclusion

In document The Ex Factor (Page 126-133)