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Aya Takashima

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BETWEEN

Graduate Thesis

Master of Fine

Arts

School of Photographic Arts and Sciences

Rochester Institute of Technology

Aya Takashima

May 2001

Thesis Board Committee:

!:::.~ I~~{)(

d a t e

-Jeff Weiss, Thesis Chair / Associate Professor, SPAS - Fine Art Photography

d,~4

Elaine O'Neil/Professor, SPAS - Fine Art Photography

date

@-/o/

7

7

Dan Larkin / Visiting Assistant Professor, SPAS - Fine Art Photography

BETWEEN

Permission from Author Required

I, Aya Takashima, prefer to be contacted each time a request

for reproduction is made.

If

permission is granted, any

reproduction will not be for commercial use or profit. I can

be reached at the following address:

4-17-14 Nishinarusawa-cho,

flitachi,Ibaragi.316-0032

Japan

Email: [email protected]

date

f·

I

f

r

t/ /

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Itiswithmuch gratitudethatIwouldliketo

acknowledgethe

following

peoplefortheir

help

and supportoverthepastthreeyears.

My

thesiscommittee:

ElaineO'Neil

Dan Larkin

Jeff Weiss

YoshieTakashima

KyokoTakashima

Ihsuan Lin

LynnWalz

Judy Levy

DavidAkiba

HajimeIshiyama

HiroyukiMorooka

AndrewMcPherson

and

My

cat,Kei

contents:

Introduction

Background

The Mirror

Examination

RTT

/

FirstYear

/

FirstQuarter

Innerscape- Thedream_{of an unborn}

baby

or genetic_memory

Second Quarter

Colorscape

Third Quarter

Five White_Photographs,Wrinkled Fabric

SecondYear

Pre-thesis

Thesis

/

BETWEEN Installation

THELINE,THE BULB,THE UMBRELLA

BETWEEN

Conclusion

Morning Song Sung by

aClown

Endnotes

ListofPlates

INTRODUCTION

Dowe_reallyseeanything?Welookat_everythingaround us and supposethat

we_{really know}what we observe._{As my life's}workIhaveembraced an exploration

of that aspect of human perception through which I organize and interpret the

world-vision.

One's vision is thought to provide reliable _{information, hence} the _saying

"seeing

isbelieving."

Nothing

wouldbesureifone startedtosuspecttheexistence of

what was perceived andthe_{way it}was perceived. It isnaturaltobelievethatwhat

oneseesis infactwhat exists andthatitexists as perceived.

However,

Ioften find

myself _questioning the differences and relationshipsbetween what I perceive and

whatIconceive.

Thisthesiswill presenttheprogress of_{my thoughts,}and theprocess of_my

art-making from1997 to 2001. Istarted as a_{photographer,} yet

during

this time_my

main interest has shifted to _utilizing space and objects to create illusion. The

enchantment ofillusion isthatitgivestheviewerfalseinformation

by

deceiving

the

senses. As anillusion progresses, questions about perceptual _{understanding} arise.

Whatweknow ischallenged

by

what wesee,and_slowly

believing

becomesseeing.

Theworld seemstohide_somethingwithin whatappearstobe. Ifoneaccepts

what appears to be without _questioning, then the hidden is never revealed.

Background

My

fatheralways reminds me nottoforgetthatIamJapanese.Since Ihave

been

living

in the United States for almost five years, he thinks I will forget my

heritage. Anadmonition made more

interesting

by

thefactthatone ofthereasonsmy

parents named meAyawastomake_myname_easyenoughtobepronouncedwhenI

traveledoutside ofJapan.I hadneverthoughtabout

being

JapaneseuntilIcameto

the United States because _everything around me was Japanese. Iknew there were

differentcultures outside ofJapan;yet, Ididnotthink that those differenceswould

affect me. _{To my} surprise

being

in a place in which all I seeis not Japanese has

heightened myconsciousness about

being

Japanese inspiteof_{my father's}concern.

Iworkedin thefieldof_{photography for}tenyearsbefore enteringthemasters

degreeprogram attheRochesterInstituteofTechnology.Variousexperiences

during

thoseyears ledme to _apply to this program. I studied _photography at the Osaka

University

ofArts in Japan. After_{graduating from} college, I started _{working for}a

professional _photography

lab,

_assisting commercial photographers and

doing

freelancephotography._{Through working in}the "realworld,"

Igained experiencein

the

highly

commercial aspects ofphotography;

however,

IrealizedthatIwas more

interested in self-fulfillment as an artist. In preparation for entering an M.F.A.

programin theUnited_States,IattendedtheNew England School Of

Photography

in

Boston in 1997.

The experience at the New England School Of

Photography

was _very

importantforme.Oneoftheaspects _{in my photography}thatInoticed atthat time

quality.

My

teachers and classmates at the school, also, acknowledged that _my

photographshad a certain _qualitywhich

they

defined as

"Japanese."

Iunderstood

their acknowledgement as a notion of me as

being

Japanese and thus _making

inherently

Japanese images. Itwas aheightened awareness ofhow Iperceived_my

surroundings which made methinkmore about whoIwas andfromwhere_mywork

The Mirror

Itakephotographs of myselffrom timeto time inordertosee myself. It is

importantformeto_{really look}at myselfinaphotograph;toexamine

it,

analyze who

Iam anddeterminewhereIam._However,thequestionformewas,if Icould never

reallysee_myself,howcouldI knowwhatI knowabout_mycorporeal self?

One

day

inBoston, I was

looking

at_my

face ina mirror_preparingtomake a self-portrait

and _suddenly realized thatI had never seen _my

face. I knew that since _my eyes are part of _my

face,

I would never see _{my face. This} was a

surprising revelation in spite of the fact that I

knewthemirror reflects whatis in frontofit.What

Ithoughtof as_{my face}was a mirrored

image,

atwo

dimensional,

fullsize,reversed

representationand not_myactualfaceat all.Thisrealization made me wonder whatI

hadseen andhow Ihadseen_upto thatmomentin_{my life. I}have seen unrnirrored

versions of _{my face} in photographs or _video, but

they

_too, are representations.

Mirroredimages and photographs are similar inthat

they

seem perfect copies. As

Oliver Wendell Holmes calledDaguerreotypes "the mirror with a

memory1,"

they

seem so accuratethatoften people accept them and donot question thenature of

whatisphotographed.

In_Boston,Istarted_myproject_{questioningreality}through theuse of mirrors.

Looking

at a mirror and thereflections in it made me feel as if there was another

"inside"

andthe"outside."_{This deceptive quality}

thatmirrors createledmeto thequestion,howcan

oneknowthat theworld perceived as occupiedis

the "real" one?

Extending

this _project, I

incorporatedwindow frames and picture frames

in addition to the mirrors.

Framing

separates a

scene from its surroundings, and creates a world

within it. To me, mirrors question _reality and

windows and/orframescreate a separationfrom fig-2 _the

world, _{contradicting} John Szarkowski's2 definitionof mirrors as reflections of one'sinner-scapeand windows as openingsto

thereal world.

:-*<a^rifi t._St^RiM _waJ

fig.4

Around the same time I was introduced to Duane Michals' work. I was

fascinatedwiththeplayful,humorous wayhetoldstories with photography. Most

important, hechallenged viewerstoconsider anotherdimensionto theworld,which

interestedme.Forexample,in THINGSAREQUEER3,Michalsplays withframesand

scale.Inthefirstofthenine photographsin

the sequence are a

bathtub,

a sink and a

toilet in what appears to be an _ordinary

bathroom.

However,

in the next

photograph, a gigantic

leg

_suddenly

fig.5 appears into the frame. One realizes that

thosethingsinthebathroom were miniatures._{In everyphotograph,}Michalsshows

new surprises and opens _up another dimension which influences how the next

photographin thesequenceis known. Intheend, thephotographs returntowhere

they

started asifnoneofthe_storythatMichalspresentedhadeverbeenshown.

MHMMB

~

1 < i

fig. 7

In ALICE'S MIRROR*, Michals

plays with mirrors as well as frames and

scale. Through the images in ALICE'S

MIRROR,what seemed realturnsouttobe

fis10 _{a rnirrored image of}

reality inside the

mirror. Theuse ofmirrors and frames in

Michals'

work made me thinkabouthow

one's vision works.One either_consciouslyor_{unconsciously}selects whattosee. To

me,hiswork seemed anintensifiedversion ofhowone sees.

fig. 12

Michals'

photographsmade methinkmore aboutthe_relationshipbetween

fictionand reality._{His writing}underscored_myquestions.

A FAILED ATTEMPT TO PHOTOGRAPHREALITY5

How foolish ofmetobelievethatitwouldbethateasy.

I hadconfusedtheappearances_oftreesand_automobiles,

and peoplewith_reality

itself,

andbelievedthat

a photograph_oftheseappearancestobea photograph

of it. It isa_melancholytruth thatIwill

neverbeabletophotograph itand can_{only fail.}

lamareflection_{photographing}other reflections

withina reflection. Tophotograph_reality

istophotograph nothing.

As Iworked withmirrors, therecame a point whenitseemeditwas_actually

themirrorthatwas_{making my}imagery.Imade

formal,

compositionaldecisionsand

tookthepicturesbut Iwasoverwhelmed

by

thefactthatmirrorsalways reflect objects

as perfect copies. Insteadof_usingthemirror,Ifeltasif Iwas

being

used

by

it. The

techniquesmade possible

by

theuse of a mirrorbecamethe work and Ifelt Iwas

merely

tricking

viewers with_myimages.Iwas not

truly

_experiencingwhat wasin

frontof a

lens,

ratherIwasjust

trying

tomakeimagesup.The

February

_{6th entry in}

7am lost now. I need to start all over again. I

have been

thinking

how Igothereand how Igot lost. I

foundthat

by

_usingmirrors,whatthemirrordoes became

dominantto_mymind. Themirrorisnow what makesthe

image,

and not me. I realized otherwise that the mirror

shouldbe justa_wayand a _tool, which supposedtobea

help

to_{my images.}

I wanted to create an _{illusive quality in my}

pictures. I have been

thinking

_{why I}am stuck with this

idea of illusivequality.When

thinking

about

illusiveness,

Iwouldthink_{of myexistence,why}andhowIhappen to

be here in thisworld. It_{is amazing}that_{I really}exist.It

fascinatesmethat_{my DNA}carriesthe_{memory of}which

my blood inherited fromthe

beginning

ofthisworld. Am

I goingtoofar?

After a two month hiatus _{from making} pictures, I began again

by

taking

snapshots. I shot whatever I saw around me and tried to be conscious about

perceiving my surroundings. The process was _{completely intuitive,} I did not

compose,andtherewas nohesitationtoreleasetheshutter whether or notIthought

a scene would make a good image. This attitude towards _photography is what I

fig. 14

Nobuyoshi Araki has

been an influential figure since I

first saw his

book,

Kukei/Kinkei

{Skyscape/Close-range6),

which was

publishedjustafterhiswife,

Yoko,

died. Maybe itwas_my sentiment

thatwasmovedthemostbecause

theimages inthebookandthefirst

line,

_{"After my}wife's

death,

Itookpictures ofthe

sky from my

room,"

werefilledwithhispain andtheemptiness withoutYoko.

In the

book,

Sentimental

Journey7,

_along with photographs from his

honeymoon,

he announced: I cannot stand it anymore . . . There arefalse pictures

everywhere. False

faces,

falsenudes,falsesnapshots, andfalse senses inphotographs. This

"SentimentalJourney"

is notfalse likethosefalsepicturesinthepublic. This_{is my love}and

my determination to be a photographer. . . . The photographsin thebooklook like a

document of his honeymoon and look real.

However,

through his other work, I

realized through his use of both photographs and text that he plays with the

borderline between fiction and reality. Fiction and _reality merge into one which

challenges the viewers to question a photographic reality. In other _words, a

photographis alwaysfalse because it isjusta _copyof_reality, and itis always real

because his action of

taking

pictures coupled with the

feeling

he has towards his

subject andtheexperience are captured.

For

Araki,

_{photography is} about instinct not plans or intentions. His

philosophy iswhereI always comebacktorefresh myself.Hiscommentaboutthe

work made aroundYoko's deathwas real.Hestated,

Deathisa truereality.Icannot_{say death}canbe

fiction. I had to takepictures _{of her death} to really see

myselfandtocomplete_{my love} to Yoko.I thoughtitwas

not right to ask viewersfor grief

by

showing thiswork.

Deep

down, Iwanted to show life through _my pictures

afterYoko'sdeath. Butevery time Iclicked theshutter,I

was_gettingcloseto death.I didnotintend toexpress_my

griefwhenItook thosepictures.That kind ofthingscomes

unconsciously.

By

looking

atthosepicturesafterwards,I

could

deeply

understand _{my grief} and I had to take

picturestofindtheanswer8.

fig. 15

fig.16

EXAMINATION

fig.18

Shortly

thereafter, I started to make a series of photographs which were

different from anything I hadphotographed previously. Ratherthanrecordings of

what wasin frontof a

lens,

they

were abstract andhada senseof

light,

depthand

tactility.

Believing

Ishould notbetooconscious about whatIwas

trying

to

do,

Idid

not wanttotranslate_myphotographstowords.

Intuitiveness,

honesty

to_myself,and

faith in myeye were stilltheimportant_{factors for making}photographs.Iallowed_my

selftoflowwith_mynewwork andtoexperiencethisnew_wayof seeing.Idescribed

thisprocess as:

Areasoncanbe destroyed

by

another reason.

Anexplanation canbe justa_{play of}words.

However,feelings alongan experience remain.

Do Ineedto

justify

_myselftoothers?

Ialwayswant_{something very}suretomyself.

February

10th,1998

Itwas wintertime.Irememberitwas_verycold andIdidnotwanttogoout.

I began to observe _{everything in my} one bedroom apartmentin Boston. I set _up

neither objects nor lights to take pictures. _Rather, with _my camera in my

hand,

I

walked around _{in my} apartment

day

and night, sometimes

laying

on a floor or

standingon adeskor akitchencounter

discovering

_manythings_{in my everyday life}

whichhad_previouslygone unattended.

By

theend ofthisproject,I knew every detail

such aslight coming incertaintimesofthe

day

_casting

interesting

shapesofshadows,

thedelicatepale shadows cast

by

unevenwalls,theshape ofstains onthe_ceilingand

floor,

orthewrinkles ofthesofa cover.

Ihadaformulawhen_makingthisseries of photographs.At

first,

Ifoundan

objectthatinterestedme and examineditanditssurroundings.Thenwith_mycamera

in frontof_my eye,I tooka closerlook. Thistime Iwould _slowly changethe focus

plane of thelensor move myselftowardor_{away from}theobject.The lensallowed

me tosee thingsina _{completely different way}thanIhadwithbareeyes.

My

desk

became an ocean with the

horizon,

a curtainbecame waves and the sofa became

desert. Asaresult,thephotographsbecametheabsence of what was photographed

(itwas_there), which now_emphasizingthepresence ofthe absence(was itthere?). I

knewthesephotographs wouldleadmeina newdirectionandItrusted theprocess

fig.19

Atthe same time I beganto define art formyself. I had thought of art as

purelyself-expression.Now Iquestionedifart could_{only be}aboutself-expression.

Photographs thatI take and _myselfare always

connected.

Yet,

Iwonder

if

_myphotographs are about who

Iam.Iwould

immediately

said yesto thisquestionbefore

because myphotographs were, I thought,about _my

self-expression. Iwonder

if

_myphotographs arethereflection

of myselfor reflection_oftheworld. Perhapsboth. Ihave

been realizingthat_{my interest is}noton_{putting my}words

and_mythoughtson other people or_{showingoff myself}to

others. Ijustwant to make_{something I have}neverseen

and_{something I have}never experienced.

Feb.20th, 1998

Ihadideasabout_myphotography._However,Ineeded experiencein solving

visual problems and

developing

a more critical eye. It was important for me to

improve theseskillsbecause I knew Iwantedtoworkinthe fieldof_photographyas

an artist.Graduateschool seemed an optionthatwould give me opportunitiestoboth

create more work and

develop

theideas behind it. In addition, an M.F.A. would

RIT

/

First

year

/

First Quarter

work

/

Innerscape

-

The

_{dream of an unborn baby}

or genetic memory

InAugust

1998,

I cametotheRochester Instituteof

Technology

tostart_my

graduate study.Thefirstquarter atRITwasthehardestone forme.

Adjusting

toa

new environment always takes a lot of effort, in addition, I was not sure which

direction Iwanted_myworkto take.

I was_thinking about_continuing toexploretheabstract photographs thatI

madebefore IcametoRTT.

However,

inthe_{very first}class, theprofessor challenged

metostart a new project.AsalwaysIstarted

by

_makingself-portraits todetermine

whereIwas going.

Whatisthisunexplainablefeelings?

Itis similarto the

feeling

_of

fear,

but not quite.

Something

so elementalthatIcan't eventhink_{ofany way}

to articulate it. It is almost like the _{memory inherited}

through _{my blood is}

telling

me something. It is just a

feeling,

yetit issomehow_veryphysical and_veryreal.

Sep.26th,1999.

Ourgenetic_memorycontains all_{memory of}the

evolution_{of human beings. This interests}me_verymuch.

Icamefrom mymother's womb.While Iwasin herwomb,

I must have experienced the evolution which human

beingscamethrough,

by being

one cellto two cells,four

cells toeight cells andso on to became ahuman being.

This iswhatIand allhuman beingswent_{though, but}we

are not_{rememberinganything}aboutit. I_believe,

however,

that the_{memory of}

being

ina womband_experiencingthe

evolutionmustbesomewhere inan unconscious level of

our mind.

Oct.2nd. 1999.

I tried to articulate this idea of genetic _memory

by

_making abstract

photographs and_combiningthemwith self-portraits.SinceIassumed unbornbabies

didnotsee,Ithoughtabstract

imagery

wouldrepresenttheirvisualexperience.Itried

tomakeimages which contained nolanguageor readable signs.Anunbornbaby's

world,Iassumed,mustbe dominated

by

physical senses ratherthanintellectualones.

Self-portraitswereincludedto

identify

thisprojectas a searchfor myorigin.

Forthe finalreview ofthequarter, Ipresented six40" x60"blackand white

self-portraits,posed asif Iwasinawomb,

hung

fromtheceiling.Iusedinfraredfilm

fortheself-portraitstocreatethesurrealistic_qualityof me

being

ina womb.Infront

of each self-portrait were a number of abstractimages

hung

tocreateDNApatterns.

Since the abstract images were _transparent, viewers could see the self-portraits

In myartiststatement,Iwrote,

"An unborn

baby

is

having

an unimaginable

dreamwhile_{growing in}a womb.Thedreamisabout the

evolution _of

life,

whichstartsfrom

long

beforeahuman

being

wasformed. The dreamcontains not_onlya physical

side_ofevolution,butalso a mental andemotional side_of

evolution which includes all _{kinds of}the strugglefor

existence and survival. An unborn

baby

is actually

experiencingthewhole evolution_{oflife in his/her}mother's

womb. "

By

Hisasaku Yumeno9

Once Iwas_{in my}mother's womb,experiencing

thewhole evolution_{of life. This is}whereIcamefrom. Now

Iam nolonger in herwomb.

My

_{memory of}

being

in her

womb and aboutthedream has beengone.Ina_way,Ilost

my memorywhich_{keeps myself}to

identify

whoIam.

Of

course,Iremember_my name, _mygender, my career, my

age, my nationality, my education, myexperiences, etc.

though Iwonder

if

those obvious and visiblefacts can

reallytellwhoIam. Thosefactsseparate mefromothers

butstilldoesnottellenough about whoIam.

Inthefinal critique, viewers wereinterested in the ideaof genetic_memory

and

they

likedthepresentation.

However,

one_groupof professors pointed outthat

they

did not understand what I was

trying

to do.

This,

I _thought, should be the

responseto theworkbecause intheend, IdidnotknowifIwas_{really interested in}

makingthiswork.

Reflecting

backonthe_quarter,IrealizedIhadchanged_mynormal process at

the

beginning

ofthequarter.

My

art starts_{from experiencing}whatis aroundmebut

in thisquarter, a concept wasthe_startingpoint of_mywork.Thisprocess_absolutely

Second Quarter

work

/

Colorscape

fig.22

In the second quarter, I returned to earlier ideas to re-examine how _my

thoughtsmightbe realized. Thefirstabstract photographs were the

discovery

of a

new_wayof seeing.Theclose examination of an_object,thelight

falling

onthe_object,

itscast_shadow,andthesurroundings wereimportantfactors. Throughphotographs

of unrecognizable _objects, viewers thought of the original objects that mighthave

been_{photographed,} as well as_{perceiving images}of_somethingunseen.The process

of _seeing and _examining an object was the

key

to theprevious work and was the

startingplace_{for my}new project. Over_time, theimagesbecamemore colorful and

more abstract.Mostofthemdidnothavea plane offocusand

they

becamemorelike

paintings.

Iamnot

trying

topresentwhatisvisible. What

is thisinvisible

thing

thatIwanttopresentthen?Is this

something I can see when _my eyes are closed? Is it

memory or some sorts? Between unconsciousness and

consciousness?

Unreality

in reality?

Something

that is

fuzzy

and uneasy? What is this something?

Something

like that appears and disappears time to _{time in my}

consciousness and memory.

I have been

trying

to understand _{why my}

photographsbecameso abstract.Icould_say,it istheworld

that Iam_perceiving through a

lens,

itis aboutfeelings

thatIgetfromwhatisaroundme,Iam

trying

tocapture

something that Icannot explain with _words, Iam just

trying

tobe

intuitive,

Iam

looking

_{inside of myself in}the

different way from which I normally see things outside

me,1am_makingtheseabstract color photographsbecause

Ijust like how

they

look, or Iam _abstractingtheworld

around mebecause I donot wanttosee_realityand cannot

standlook-like-realpresentationsthat_{photography has}as

its nature, and so on. I can

keep

_writing theseforever.

Theseexplanations arenot made up.

They

are true ina

sensebut

they

arenot what_myworkisabout.

fig. 23

The

inability

to explain _my work _actually explained _my work. I unconsciously

excluded visual clues or

language,

which would have had particular meaningsto

allowtheviewertocreate aninnerlanguage. Iwanted_myworktobe feltinsteadof

read

intellectually

Iused35mm

transparency

film,

cross processed_it, and enlarged

theslides to30"

x48" printsin order to maximize the grain. The large sizeprints

created and emphasizedtheirphysicality,

forcing

theviewertoperceive_emotionally

insteadofintellectually.

In myartiststatementIwrote,

7wanttosee_{somethinginvisible,}andIwantto

feel something untouchable, like mind,

time,

air, sound,

smell, and temperature, but not _{necessarily something}

spiritual.

If

Ididnot_{have myeyes,}Iwouldstill

try

tosee.

I reallywantto see_somethingthatIcannotseewith_my

eyes.

Abstract photography and paintings are often

associatedwith aspects_ofspirituality. Becausethereisno

recognizable object inabstract photography, it is easyto

think that theworkisnot about a representationalworld,

butrather a spiritual one.

This work,

however,

is not about spirituality.It

is, instead,

about _{color,granularity} and emptiness. The

color gives temperature to the images. Close up, the

images are filled with granularity. From a _distance,

however,

granularity disappears and the images become

full ofemptiness.

fig. 25

The invisible and untouchable are important even if

they

cannot be

perceived. If there were no silences or _intervals, then music would not exist.

My

motheris a music therapistand Ihelped herinherwork with patients

by

_creating

improvisationsonthepiano. Forexample, Iplayedthe pianofora_groupof people

who had emotional difficulties either at school or at workbecause

they

could not

express themselves naturally. At the

therapy

session, each client chose one

instrument,such as a

drum,

a_tambourine,or a xylophone.What I didwaslistento

theirsounds

including

the silences and played thepiano with them as ifwe were

having

a conversation with music. Mostimportant, Itriednottouse_my

logic,

but

ratherIused intelligence and_intuition; Itried tosensetheair aroundus,more asI

imagine a wild animal senses its surroundings. It was through this experience of

creatinga musicallanguagetounlockthe_realityof

histories,

that Ibegantoformulate

my ideaabouttheinvisibleandtheuntouchable.

Inthissecond quarterwork,viewers almost always wantedtoknowwhatI

had photographed. The same

thing

happenedwhen Imadethefirst generation of

abstract_photographs, butatthattime thequestion seemed a natural response.This

timethequestion_{really bothered}me. It isquite naturalthatviewerswould askthis

question because of the media that I was using. _{Unlike painting} and music,

photography generally impliesan objectin frontof a camerainordertobecompleted.

Since my work didnot showtheidea ofinvisible to theviewers

they

struggledto

figure out what was photographed. In addition to _my idea of _{invisibility,} a new

question_arose;howcouldImakeaphotographthatdidnot represent_anything,but

Third

Quarter Work

Five White

Photographs,

The

Wrinkled

Fabric

r

fig. 26

Inone ofthe_{very first}classesin thethirdquarter,Ihadan

interesting

critique

fromtheclass andtheprofessor.Ishowed some work prints andtwo30"x 48"

prints,

which were an extension of_mysecond quarter work.

They

started to tellme how

beautiful myphotographs were.AprofessortoldmethatIwas_readytograduate now

because Icould make such_prettyphotographs.Irealizedthat

they

were

trying

to tell

me_mywork was"too"

beautiful,

buttherewas_nothingmore withinit. Thishitme

hardand made me re-examine_{everything I}haddonepreviously._{Aesthetic quality}is

obviouslyanimportantaspectof animage.

However,

mycore concernhadbeento

makeimagesthatutilizedtheessence ofphotography,nottomake photographsthat

werejustpretty.

Atthat

time,

in additionto the question of _making anon representational

photograph_manifestingtheessence of_{photographyitself,}Iquestionedthe_possibility

of meaningfulbeauty.

Again,

being

too real is a problem in

photography.

Photography

is believedas representation_of

something.Peoplegetconfusedwith what a photographis

of and the photograph itself. A photograph as a

photograph, and nottherepresentation_{of something}else

iswhatIwant_myphotographstobe.

My

photographs are

not_ofsomething.Iam_eliminatingcluesandhints ofwhat

a photograph _{is of in} order toshow a photograph itself.

Whenanimage disappearsfromaphotograph,it becomes

a photograph itself. It is no longer the representation_of

something. Itiswhatit is.

April19th,1999

Througha process of_subtractingwhatwas_unnecessaryto the_images,

they

gradually becamequieterin termsofcolor,lineand movement.

Showing

justenough,

was what I thought of as an approach to the answer. Throughsimplification, the

photograph wouldbecomeelemental ratherthana representational.

The idea of

invisibility

arose again as _myphotographs _{became seemingly}

empty.Eventhough theimage isminimized,a photographitselfexists as an object or

Invisible and visible just seem opposite but I

think

they

are contained within each other. Maybe

invisible is ina visiblething. Inorder tosee

"invisible",

visiblehastobepresentedbecauseonecannotseeinvisible

things.

Only

one can see the invisible through visible.

This iswhatillusionandimagination isabout. Thereisa

difference between seeing what is not there and _seeing

what onedoesnotknowwhat s/heis

looking

at.

April26,1999

fig.27

Finally,

my photographs became almost white and at first glance, looked

empty.Thesubtleties would appear after

long

andthoughtfulobservation. _However,

sight was contradicted asthe

imagery

beganto_emerge,andtheviewerwonderedif

therewas_{really something}inthewhite photographs orif thebrainwas

filling

a white

space with animage.

Oneof_{my favorite books}

from my childhood talks about

somethingsimilar.The titleofthe

book is Tooru ga tooru10, which

means Tooru (the boy's _name)

Passes By. There are several

stories in the _{book but I only}

remember one ofthem._{The story}

starts with Tooru _asking his

fig. 28 mother for a piece of

big

white

paper.Shethinkshe_{is going}todrawor paint a picture onit.Aftera while she goes

toTooru'sroom andfindshim

looking

atthe

big

blankwhite paper

hung

onthewall

infrontofhim.Sheaskshimwhatheis

doing

andToorutellshismotherthatheis

looking

at pictures ofthe_{sky, mountains,}thesun and_manyothers,ontheblankwhite

paper._{This story is}aboutimagination.Asa childI probably likedthe_{story because I}

usedtodosimilarthings.After25years,Iagain startedto_{do something}similar,but

thistimewith alittlemoreinformation.

The invisible contained within the visible as illusion led me to create an

installation to show with theFive White Photographs. The moreI thought aboutthe

invisible,themorethe ideaofillusionseemedto_playanimportantrole.Takeshi

Yoro,

aJapaneseanatomist, saysinhisbook TheCerebralismn

that thebrain isan organfor

knowing.Therefore,onlytheinformation already inthebraincanberecognized.For

example,if the informationabout"A"isnotin the

brain,

then theideaabout"A"does

not exist.

"Invisible"

conceiveoftheinvisibleas visualinformation. Illusion iseither_somethingreceived as

misinformationor_somethingthatcannotbeunderstood withknown facts.Perhaps,

thebrain does not process theinformation properly, orthe brain does process the

information properly but there is a _{gap between} the information received and the

information already existing inthebrain. It is inthat_gapthatillusionexists.Ibegan

toimaginethatwhat one seesiswhatis_{already in}theirbrainand_{seeing something}

is actually seeingoneself;_memoryand experience are storedintheirbrain.

Itookaphotographof a wrinkled curtainin_myapartment.ThenIprojected

thatphotographon alargepiece of_{fabric suspending}adarkenedcorner ofthestudio.

I illuminatedthefabric from behindsotherewouldbeno obvious cluethatthefabric

was altered

by

a projectedimage.Thefabricappearedtobewrinkled;

however,

only

when theviewer walked close to it, did the factthat fabric itselfwas flatand the

In myartiststatementforthisquarterIwrote,

Seeing

is

believing;

is itreally?

Seeing

isnolonger believing.

Then why dowe still

keep

seeing?

Isit becausewehaveeyes?

No,we stillseethingswhen our eyesare closed.

Perhaps,

what we are_{seeing is}allillusion.

Everything

maybe

imaginary,

createdinourbrain.

Five White Photographs

Whiteisthemost neutralandthecleanest colorthatI

canfind. Whiteseems notto

belong

to_anycolor,yetit

contains_everycolor_{of light. It}appearsto_{be nothing}and

empty,

however,

it actuallycontains all.

WrinkledFabric

Iwantedtosee_something

invisible,

andIwantedtofeel

somethinguntouchable,likemind,time,air, sound, smell,and

temperature.I havebeenrealizing,

however,

that there_{is nothing}

thatcanbecalledinvisible. Thehumaneye can_onlysee whatis

visibletoit. Itisthebrain thatcreates_{something invisible}

Both Five White PhotographsandWrinkled Fabricquestionhowweknowwhat

we see.Theexperienceof_{making both}twoandthreedimensionalworkforcedmeto

consider thedifferences betweenthe two.Iused _photography as a mediumforthe

two dimensional workbecause thereis aninherentdualism in photographywhich

effectstheinterpretation. Thefirstexperience of animage iswhenit is recorded on

the

film,

this_{is my}interpretation.Theviewershavea second generation experience

of_seeingwhen

they

are askedtodecipher_{the seeming reality}presentedin thepicture

infrontofthem.

Thus,

twodimensionalimages tend toberead

intellectually

instead

of

being

experiencedphysically, _particularlyin the case of_photography, where an

imagehas_{already been}interpreted

by

theartistbeforeit isexperienced

by

theviewer.

Aninstallation isa realtimeoccurrencefortheviewersand afirsthandexperience of

itsspaceandtime.It isthisdirectphysical experience whichIwanttocreate.

Robert

Irwin,

the

installationartist,states"Tobean

artist is not a matter of _making

paintings or objects at all. What

we are_really

dealing

withis our

state of consciousness and the

shape of our

perception12."

His

philosophy and his work

fig.30 fascinated me and helped me

understand _{my growing} awareness. His earlier concerns and approaches to his

concerns were whatIwas_strugglingwithin_myabstractphotographs.Inlate50s', he

started to recognize that the gestures he made with paint were always read as

imagery,

notexperienced as_paintingitself.Irwincomments onthis that"Ibeganto

recognizethedifferencebetween

imagery

and _physicality,andfurthermorethatfor

me,the momenta_paintingtookon_{any kind}of_image,theminuteIcould recognize

itas

having

_{any relationship}tonature,of_any

kind,

tomethe_paintingwentflat.

Now,

I don't know where I got this

idea,

but there itwas.

Imagery

for me constituted

representation,

're-presentation',

a second order of_reality,where asIwas after afirst

order of

presence13."

H

^^^^^^^H .'Jasja tt^* ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H *

^^^^^^^^H _^.

M

m i_

9 H

B

"

-3

UL.~.

BfefTT

^^^^^^^fc

- ^~~~.J&

Second

Year

/

Pre-thesis

AfterthethirdquarterIwentbacktoJapan forabouttwomonths.

During

_my

stay I thought about_{my thesis, realizing} that I was satisfied

by

the third quarter

exhibitionandfelt myexplorationofthoseideaswascomplete.Itrusted_myprocess,

knowing

that inspiration usuallycomestomefrom working

intuitively

andthrough

thecombinationofthe art_makingandexperiencewithlife. Once Igive myself over

to_myprocessIstarttoformnewideas.

Still,

_{inspirations only}come when_mymind

isclear and

free,

andatthetime_mymind wasfilledwithfearand anxiety.

Whenever I finishawork with whichIam_very

happy,

Ihavea_{very difficult}

time

beginning

a new project.I havealwaysfearedthatIwould notbeabletomake

workthatwentbeyondwhatImade previously.It isasifIam_{squeezing the last bit}

of toothpaste out of the tube _every time I make work and there is _{nothing left}

afterward.IwishIcould

buy

anothertube_{but my}toothpasteisone of akindandis

unfortunately irreplaceable. ThistimeIhopedtorefillit

by

_goingouttosee what was

outthere inJapan.

At

first,

I wentto galleries and museums such as the Tokyo Metropolitan

Museum of

Photography,

the Museum of

Contemporary

Art,

and the National

MuseumofModern Art_{but nothing really}moved me.

Instead,

itwas a small_thing,

thefireworksthatIsaw at a summer

festival,

thatfascinatedmethemost.The

display

included about 13,000 fireworks at a seaside and lasted for an hour.

Sitting

with

friendsontheroofof a

building,

Iwatchedthefireworksrise,explode andfade away

one after anotherin thedarksky.Theexperience was not_onlyvisual.The sound of

the

fireworks,

which would come after the fireworksexploded

depending

ontheir

distancetous,andthesmell of powderfilledthe_vibratingatmospherearound us.I

was fascinated

by

thefact that although eachindividual _{firework lasted only few}

seconds,eachhada_strongindividualpresence.Thisephemeral,yet,overwhelmingly

definitepresencemoved me.

Life isephemeral anditsmomentsare never repeated.

However,

becauseof

its ephemerality, the moments become

distinct,

and the separationbetween them

becomes eternity.Thesame

thing

applies tophotography.Amoment,not an_object,

captured

by

a camerabecomes

distinct,

andis_{eternally fixed}as animage.It istime,

instead of the_physicality of an object thatgives one a sense of presence. For me

photographyisabouttime,not subject matter.

Thefirsttaskof_mysecond year wastowritea proposal for mythesis.As I

reviewed what I had accomplished, I began to _clarify the investigation I would

undertake.

My

concern, whichbeganwith how a photograph can_{be perceptually}

experiencedinsteadof

intellectually

read,hadevolvedintohowonesees what one

sees._Later,questions about_visibilityand_{substantialityemerged;}if therewas_nothing

tosee,what would stillbepossible_{to see,}and wastheinvisibletheresult ofthebrain

perceivinga"reality" that theeye could not capture?

Inthepractical component of_mythesis,Idecidedtocreate a_space,designed

tomaketheviewer conscious of

being

ina space.Itwasthephysical experience of a

space, instead of the presentation of a two dimensional representation of an

intellectually

understood space which was critical.

By

forcing

viewers to be

self-conscious about their sense of _seeing, their _seeingwould become more innocent.

WithinthefabricatedspaceIintendedaninstallation_utilizingopticalillusionwhich

explorethe_relationshipofthevisibletotheinvisible.

My

taskwouldbe visualizing

theconcept of theinvisible without _{contradicting its}nothingness. As soon as the

invisible is

imaged,

theinvisible has become visible. How then can a visual artist

explorethenature of_seeingthroughan exploration ofitsopposite,the invisible?This

constant_questioningwas whatIwantedtheviewerstohavethrough_mywork.Ihad

a semi formed idea of whatIwas _goingto_{do for my} thesis butI didnot want to

repeat the illusion of the third quarter. I was determined to use the ideas of the

wrinkledfabricpiece as_onlya_startingpoint.

I began

by

_making 3D

models _using autodessys's

"formZ", a 3D synthesizer

software.

Using

a computertomake

work was not new to me. I had

made collages and manipulated

images with a computer, yet the

experience,likethatof a painterinfrontof ablankcanvas,was

totally

new.

Starting

something new excited me and I felt like a child _playing with a newtoy. I made

models ofhousesand_galleryspaces, none of which were overfinished, and played

with the

lighting

and

texturing

options availablein theprogram.As Iacquired more

skill withthesoftware,Ibegan tomake a model of anumbrella.

Inordertobeabletomake a model of anobject,theobjecthastobeexamined

thoroughly.I hadanumbrella, whichIbelievewasarather genericone,nextto_my

computerasI carefullyimitated itsshape.Idecided tomake an umbrellabecauseof

its

interesting

shape andbecause itis a _very familiar object whichhas been given

u

fig.32

extraordinaryqualities.Thiscommon object usedtoprotect onefromrainisimagined

asafantasticobject with which one canfly.

Having

such opposite qualities within one

objectinterestsme. Oppositequalitiessuch asinvisiblenessandvisibleness,illusion

and reality, absence and presence, and false and truth arealmost always contained

within each other and cannotbeseparated without

destroying

both. Between seeming

oppositesliesthepointwhere

they

merge andbecomeone.Thatiswhere, I

believe,

oneperceivestheinvisible.

The Surrealistpainter, Rene Magrittestatedthat"whatone seesinan object

is another,

hidden,

object14."

Magritte used familiar objects in his paintings to

communicate surrealistic ideas. The

relationship among the familiar objects

in his paintings is so mysterious and

imaginative that each of those familiar

objects begins to have _{extraordinary}

qualities.

Particularly

relevant to _my

work is Magritte's notion of familiar

objects _evoking mysterious qualities as

expressed in his comment on his

painting, Time Transfixed.

...,7 decidedtopaint theimage ofalocomotive.

Starting

from_{the possibility, the}problem presented

itself

asfollows: howtopaintthisimagesothatitwouldevoke

mystery- that

is,

the_mysterytowhich weareforbidden

to give a _meaning, lest we utter naive or scientific

absurdities; _mystery that has no _meaningbut that must

notbeconfusedwith the "non-sense"

that madmenwho

are

trying

hardtobe

funny

findso gratifying.

The image of a locomotive is

immediately

familiar;

its_mysteryisnot perceived.

In orderfor its mystery to be evoked, another

immediately

familiar imagewithout_mystery- theimage

ofa

dining

roomfireplace

-wasjoinedwiththe_{image of}

thelocomotive (thus I didnotjoinafamiliar imagewitha

so-called mysteriousimagesuch as a

Martian,

an_angel,a

dragon,

or some other creature_erroneouslythought_ofas

"mysterious."

In

fact,

there are neither mysterious nor

unmysterious creatures. The power _of thought is

demonstrated

by

_unveiling or _evoking the _mystery in

creatures that seem familiar to use [out of error or

habit])....

....The word idea is not the most precise

designationforwhatIthoughtwhenIunitedalocomotive

andfireplace. I didn't havean_{idea;I only} thought_ofan

image.... Aftertheimage has beenpainted,we can think

oftherelation _{it may bear} toideasor words. Thisis not

improper,

since

images, ideas,

and words are different

interpretations ofthesamething: thought.

However, in order to state what is

truly

necessaryaboutan_image, one must refer _exclusivelyto

thatimage...

-Rene

Magritte15

fig. 34

The umbrella thatI made in the computer

did not _really speak about the umbrella as it

truly

was. It was just a model of an umbrella at first. I

playedaround with_it,changedthe

lighting

andthe

texture of each material, and moved it around to

changeitsangle;the

beauty

of_usinga computer was

that,unlike_makingan actualobject,theimagecould

be easilymodified and reexamined.Then Imade an

illustrationof a

floating

umbrella which cast a shadow on afloor. This image hadan

undefinable_qualitywhichbecamethecore of_myinvestigations.

The perfect balance suggested

by

a

floating

object fascinates me. In the

physical world, an object is substantial and has its own weight. An object is

influenced

by

_gravity, thereforeit sits on _somethingand does not_{usually float}

by

itself. The

floating

umbrella was _something that could not happen in a normal

fig. 35

clothfromtheumbrella,_exposingitsribs,but lefttheshadowoftheoriginalumbrella

intact. Less did become more, and thisimagebecame theprototype forone of_my

thesisinstallations.

I printed out the illustration on

photographicpaper,and realizedthatIhad

made a photograph without _capturing an

actual object with a camera. As I wrote

earlier, Ihada problem withthefactthata

photograph is assumed to be a

representation of something.

However,

with

this"photograph,"viewersdidnot question

reality; because the object seemed to be

clearly there, and assumed the umbrella

musthaveexisted.Theumbrellainthephotograph was recognized as an umbrella

justbecause it looked likean umbrella. This umbrella didnot _actually existbutas

soon asitbecamewhatseemedtobea_photograph,theunrealbecamereal.

Meanwhile, Iwas

trying

tomakeblackphotographs.I startedtomakethe

black photographs as an extension of the white photographs whose _seeming

emptiness challengedtheviewers'

experience. Thiswas not a repetitionoftheearlier

work,rathertheblackphotographs gaveme a new_opportunitytoexplore aspects of

perception,differentfromthoseofthewhite photographs.

Theprocess was simple. I photographed _{something black} tomakea black

photograph. _However, when Ilooked atthephotograph, Ifeltthatsomethingwas

missing eventhough the_resultingphotograph was

definitely

what I hadintended.

Althoughthephotographshad a slighthintoflinearimagery, a sense ofdepthwas

missing.

7knowwhatIdidwith_mywhitephotographs.Ipresented

those asbrightness of light instead_ofthecolor_ofwhite.

Thecondition_ofthatit'ssobrightthatyoudon'tseewas

capturedinthephotographs. AndIshouldn't

try

tomake

black photographs now. _Instead, I should make dark

photographs. So dark that you almost see nothing. See

something hidden in darknessand yourimaginationwill

cometoplay.

February

5th,2000

To_me,thereisadifference between blackand dark. If something isblack,it

impliesthatit isblackincolorand callsthesurface oftheobjecttoquestion. Onthe

other

hand,

if _{something is}

dark,

it implies a lack of

light,

therefore the objectis

hiddenina_poorlyilluminatedspace.The questionbecameone about photography.

After something isphotographed,itlosesits threedimensional

form,

andtheoriginal

objectis

dismissed,

thus theissueof surface or spaceis irrelevant.

When Iwas_workingonthis_project,Itried toexperience whatitwasliketo

be in total darkness. I closed _my eyes and spent time in _my apartment. At the

beginning,

Itriedtouse_myvisual_memorytoreplace_myvision.

However,

itdidnot

work asIthoughtandIrealizedhowunreliable_myvisual_memorywas.IthoughtI

was_observingthe thingsin_myapartment_{everyday but I}was not.Thelonger Iclosed

myeyesthemoreIstartedtoperceive_mysurroundings through_myother senses.

After_{this experiment,}IknewthatIneededtomakeadarkspaceinsteadof

dark photographs.

Photography

cannot escape its two dimensionality.

Viewing

implies

being

in frontof something.

Instead,

the experience of_entering a physical

space of darkness was more critical than a two dimensional presentation of dark

which wouldbeviewedinawelllitgallery.

Between /

Installation

There were three pieces _{in my} thesis show, THE LINE, THE BULB and the

umbrella.Thecore of each pieceisa manifestation oftheconcept of

between,

which

becamethetitleof_mythesisshow, and which willbe discussed in detail ina later

section.

Therelationships oftheindividualinstallationswereenhanced

by

the

lay

out

of the rooms in the gallery. Asviewers enter the firstpiece, the une, their vision

startedtoadjustto thelimitedamount oflight. Thespace ofthe linewastoprepare

theviewerstoenterthenextpiece, the bulb.In_{this very dim}space, vision adapted

completelytothedarkness. The darknessofthe bulbspace andtheblacknessofthe

hallway

after the bulb intensified the

whiteness and thebrightness of thelast

piece, THEUMBRELLA.

THE

Entrance

bU

.36

t

THE UMBRELLA

1

THE LINE

THE BULB

1

THE LINE

Astheviewers walkedinthe entrance,

they

confronted a windowlikescreen,

approximately

40"

x 65". A glow oflightcamefrom white fabricilluminatedfrom

behind. Projectedontothefabricwas athinhorizontal

line,

approximately1

/

16of an

inch wide,which _{subtly but constantly}moved.It couldbe interpreted forwhat it

appeared to

be,

a line or a _string

dancing,

but for some itbecame the

horizon,

a

landscapeor a waterline asitconnected with memoriesinone'sbrain.

fig.38

The linepiecewas an extension ofthe WrinkledFabricpiecefromthethird

quarter of the first year. After _completing the Wrinkled Fabric piece, I was still

intrigued with the possibilities of projection as an

interesting

medium. Projection

basically

adds animage layeronto whatever surfaceisused asthescreen.Thislayer

doesnothaveitsownthree dimensionalphysicality.Itcanbeseen andfeltas wefeel

temperature but does not have its own _form/shape. It can touch but cannot be

touchedsothatI believeit isnot physical.Thisaspect of

being

seenbutnot physical

intriguedme andIknew Iwould explore moreofthepossibilitiesofprojectionas a

medium.

My

firstexperiments were with materials such as

fabrics,

water,themirror

andsmoke,etc.,none of which were satisfactory.One

day

whenIwas_{experimenting}

with a_projector, itfailedtowork.Iwas almost_readytogive_uptheideaof_usinga

projector. Itook a slide out and saw what wasin frontof me. Thereonthe

loosely

hung

fabric I was_{using for}ascreen wasthe_sharp shadowofthethin_{string I}had

stretched as alevel. Asthefabricmoved,theshadowlookedlike itwasdancing.After

afewadjustments,Ihadcompletedthefirstpiece, THELINE.

the line presented the shadow of what was behind the screen. _Shadow,

defined

by

OED16,

is "atractofpartialdarknessproduced

by

a

body

intercepting

the

directrays ofthesun or other

luminary."

Ashadowindicates thepresenceof whatis

castingtheshadow.Intheline,a viewer could not see what was_castingtheshadow,

and theshadowbecame literalpresence.

Iwas attracted

by

thequalities which mimicked_myearlier photographs.This

piece hadthe _simplicity, minimalism and abstractnessof _my abstract photographs.

The importantdifferences werethe movement and the three

dimensionality

of the

image.I begantounderstandthatthelinepiece was not an abstraction of something.

Justbecauseanimage isnot_{recognizable,}itdoesnot meanthatitcanbecategorized

inabstract art.Asa matter of

fact,

I didnot abstract_{anything in}thelinepiecedespite

thefactthatitlookedabstract._{Unlike my}abstract_{photographs, the line}was

literally

THE BULB

Totheright ofthelinewas a curtain which markedtheentranceto_mysecond

installation,

THEbulb.Thisspace wasdarksothat the_only

thing

theviewers saw was

alight bulbon a wall as_theyfirstwalkedintotheroom.Asthe viewers approached

theimageofthelight

bulb,

they

recognizedthatitwas a reflectionina mirror andthe

original was mounted onthewall

facing

themirror.Overthecourse ofthreeminutes

THE BULBbegan toglow andthenfaded away, _changingthelevelsofiUumination in

theroom. It was so slowthat unless viewers stayed

long

_enough,

they

would not

realize that the bulb was _{actually changing} and not a still image. Upon close

examination,the viewer would also realizethattherewas_somethingstrange about

thelight

bulb;

wasitadocumentof alight bulbor_somethingelse?Asthe bulb_slowly

lit up, the dark space as well as

viewers'

perception of the space became more

defined. The longertheviewersstayedintheroomthemore

they

startedtoseebut

the BULBnever

fully

lit up and soon wentback into darkness. Theviewersthought

they

sawthingsbutwere never sure.

fig.39

thebulbwas an extension of_{my dark}photographs.After

deciding

tomake a

darkspace instead of dark photographs, I started to wonder what would make a

spacedark. It sounds obvious thatnolightwouldmake a space dark.

However,

if

therewere nolight inthisworld,thentheconceptofdarknesswould not exist either.

It is lightthatmakes one aware ofdarkness. Thelight bulb

imagery

wasfabricatedto

emphasizedarkness inthespace and vice versa.

Theimageofthelight bulb was created

digitally

ratherthan_{photographing}

or_videotapingan actuallight bulb. As Iwroteinthesection_titled,Second Year

/

Pre-thesis,I becameinterested intheideaof computergenerated objectsandimagesasI

worked on_{making 3D digital}models.Whatinterestsme themost aboutthemisthe

abilitytomimic reality. Fromtheinventionofphotography,or eventheinventionof

the Renaissance system of perspective, humans have tried to recreate reality. The

Renaissanceperspective was used as a_wayof_{mimicking reality}and_{photography is}

usedtocapture reality.Nowinthedigitalage,humans havestartedtocreate reality.

One

day

whenIwas_makingthebulb,a new questionarose;wasI simulating

the"reality"

of alight

bulb,

or_{making something}

totally

newthatlooked likealight

bulb? Whatwasthe_{difference between my bulb}and a"real"light bulb? Intheactual

production ofthebulb,Imimickedtheformof a60-wattclearlight bulband_closely

examinedhowan actuallight bulbwould_{slowly light}up. thebulbdidnotlight up

the_waya "real"

one

does,

ratherItransformeda crescent moonintoalight bulb,the

bulb"lookedreal"

enough,but didnotexistin thereal worldas an_{object, yet,}itwas

real sinceitcouldbeseenand perceived even thoughit onlyexisted astheonesand

zeros of adigital file.THEbulbwasinfactnot a simulation of a "real"

light bulb.

Yet,

one could_{only know}what was seen

by

_namingthe bulbalight bulband_responding

THE UMBRELLA

Astheviewers passedthrougha curtainto theright ofthebulb,theyentered

theblackhallway.Aftertheexperience of

blackness,

thebrillianceofthewhite space

that theviewers were_enteringwasintensified.Inthiswhite room wastheskeleton of

theumbrella_apparently

levitating

and_castinga shadow of what was notthere.

fig.40

Thisumbrella evolvedfromthecomputer-generated modelImadein Formz.

After

finishing

thedigitalmodel,Iprinteditouton photographic paper.

Looking

at

thephotograph,I beganto think that itwouldbe

interesting

if itwas aninstallation

instead of a two dimensional representation. There were not enough

illusionary

mysterious qualities that I was

looking

forin the photograph because the digital

manipulationisincommon use.Instead, a three dimensionalrepresentation would

create anillusion

by

_{presenting the}actual.Thesaying

"seeing

is

believing"

indicates

peopletendtobelieve_{in something}onlywhen_theyseeitinreallife. I knewthe_only

waytopresentthe illusionwasthroughaninstallationwhich would call perception

andknowledge intoquestion.

>

First of _all, in order to

make the skeleton of the

umbrella,Ialteredan umbrella

by

removing thefabric and_curving

each rib so thatit looked as ifit

was coveredinaninvisiblefabric.

Figuring

out how to make the

shadow was interesting. I tried

many waystomakethe shadow;

yet, _onlyone worked.

By

_usinga

mirror and a_projector, Iwas able

to create a shadow on the floor.

The umbrella and the shadow

fig.41

were placedin thewhite room so

thattwoobjects related each other and createdtheillusion.

Attheshow,most viewerstried tofigureouttheillusionbetweentheshadow

andtheumbrella.Theviewers were cognizant oftheumbrellaasan umbrella without

fabric

floating

inair andtheshadow as a shadow oftheshapeof an umbrella cast

by

the skeleton of the umbrella.

However,

since the _{relationship between} the two

conceived objects did notfit exactly with the viewers'"pre-conceived(perceived)"

notion astowhatshould_{exist, the}question aroseto theviewers;whatis itthatIam

BETWEEN

Between,prep. _Ofsimple position:Theproper word_expressingthelocalrelation of a pointto twoother pointsinoppositedirections from it (i.e.ifa pointhastwoother points on opposite sides ofit,it issaidtobe betweenthem):Inthespace which separatestwo points;inthe direct linewhichjoinstwo points;hence, in_anylineof communication which passes from one point, place, or object, to another. _Oftime: in the interval

followingone event or point oftimeand_precedinganother.

- OED17

My

thesisstarted with _my question of what one _really sees.

Seeing

canbe

represented

by

a schema.

However,

_{seeing becomes}possible when visualinformation

througheye's retina reachesthebrain.

Seeing

alwaysinvolves interpretationsof what

is infrontof a viewer asJohnBergerstates_{"the way}weseethingsisaffected

by

what

weknowor what webelieve18." Inotherwords,oneassumesthattheworld existsthe

way it is perceived. For example, when there is a sound of

drip-drip,

one would

assumethatafaucetwasturnedoffloosely. Whenthereisafrontside,a

top

side and

a leftside of a

house,

then one would assume that there shouldbe a backside, a

bottom side and a right side of the house as well without _{actually seeing} them.

Putting

it inextreme,theworldexistsbasedon our assumptions._Yet,sometimesthere

isa_{gap between}a perceived_realityand conceived reality.Inthissituation,a question

about whatisseen arises.Asexperiencedintheumbrella,Iwanttocontinuetopose

thequestions about seeing.

Thereare_{many literal}

"betweens"

thatviewers couldfindin_mythesisshow:

lightandshadow,blackandwhite,onandoff,ceilingand

floor,

theumbrella andthe

shadow and so on.However,Iusedthe termforthe titleof_mythesisshowtodefine

one's perception of space and/or time.

Any

given space or time exists

by

itself

without

being

perceived or conceived.For_instance,if therewere eternalemptiness,

one would recognizeitas_{only the}void.

However,

as soon asthereisa pointA inthe

void, then thevoid,forthefirst time,isrealized as a space.Morespecifically,because

of thenotion of the distance between point Aand the _viewer, the space becomes

defined.

Also,

as soon asthespaceis

defined,

specific meanings areformed

by

theone

whodefinesit.The same

thing

is truefor time as well. Withoutpoint

A,

whatlies

betweencannotbe recognizedthereforeitseems not existent.

Illusion,

_{in my}thesis,

playstheroll of apoint

A,

sothatthevoidthatisperceivedbecomes somethingthat

theviewerisconscious of.

There_is,also,another sensethat"between"liesin_mywork.InTHE_umbrella,

asIstated earlierin thissection, a viewer would questionthatwhatitwasthatwas

seen.Thishappensbecausetheviewer encountersthe_{gap between}whatisperceived

and what was_alreadyconceived as aknown fact. Asa_result, theviewers would go

through theprocess of reduction:_questioningthemselves about whatis

happening

and

trying

tofigureout_whythiswashappening.

Having

theanswerfor "how

to"

is

not as critical as_askingthequestion"what is itthatIam

seeing?"

"WhatisitthatI

am

seeing?"

becomes a

key

pointto recognize and re-understand what was once

Conclusion

Howwe perceive canbequestioned,yet we cannot undothefactthatwe

perceive.Perception itself isalwaysdefinite.

Very

often one's vision is

directly

connected to the evidence of one's

existence.One believes thepresence of what_{is visually}perceived. It isthrough

perceptionthatone woulddistinguishand

identify

theself.

Toquestion one's_seeingis toquestion one's existence.

Morning

Song Sung

by a

Clown

Isuspectthatitexists;that_{it really is} something.

Noonehasever stateditscontoursbut Ithink

they

are

clear.Idon'tthinkif_{11 stay}in thesame position

forever,

but right now I think ifs _reflecting a little

light,

even

castinga shadow.Itcan't not

be,

and somehowit islike

something.

But if ifs _something, it cannot, I think, be thought

unimportant evenifno one usesit.Forsome reasonIfeel

as thoughIwantit tobe something. Iwonder whether

ifs impossible for it not to be something. If ifs not

something,what in the world canit be? It can be that

there_{isn't anything}except_something,can'tit?

Since ifs not at all_indistinct,ifs_somethingafterall,

isn't it? It ifs_something,don'twethink thatitshouldbe

something about which we can't ask what it is?

Something

which we can't answer is nothing? Some

somethingwhichisnot something?

Becauseifstoo_easy, for

instance,

to _sayshellfish or

rope or

dizziness,

_{I pray} that it _{be something} to the

degreethatifs_nothingotherthan something.Just

lying

thereorfloating.

(I

honestly

wishtheworld wouldbeginthere- 1 don't

thinkI'dmindifitended.)

Endnotes

1

Holmes,

OliverWendell.

Sun-Painting