(starts @ 33:01)
Eyebrow: I’m worried about next week.
Side of the eye: I’m worried about next week. Under the eye: Am I going to be prepared? Under the nose: I’m worried about next year. Chin: Do I have what it takes?
Collarbone: I’m worried about my family.
Under the arm: I’m so worried about my family. Top of the head: I want it to work out.
Eyebrow: I don’t know how it’s going to look. Side of the eye: I’m worried about my family. Under the eye: I’m worried about my job. Under the nose: I’m worried about my health. Chin: No wonder I’m not very present.
Collarbone: My clutter vibration… Under the arm: I want to clean it up.
Top of the head: What if I stayed present? Eyebrow: I wonder how I’d feel.
Side of the eye: What if I was present? Under the eye: I wonder how I’d feel?
Under the nose: I bet I’d be relaxed. Chin: I bet I’d feel free.
Collarbone: I want to be peaceful. Under the arm: I want to be present.
Top of the head: I deserve to raise my vibration. Carol: Take a breath.
Rick: Ahhhhh… (deep breath)
Carol: You know how people say, “It’s so loud in this room, I can’t think
straight”? It’s so loud in our heads sometimes, that we can’t think straight. We have to clear the past. We have to clear the future. We have to clear those fears about what other people think about us. We need to clear the negativity, which may be a habit. There is so much to clear energetically from our vibration to get that uncluttered so that, then, we know what we want, we know who we are, and we know what the next right step is - only the next right step. We’re not talking about making a life plan for twenty years, only the next right step. Do you make that phone call on business, or do you write the email? Do you need to go get lunch because it’s now 2:30 and you haven’t had enough and you’re not thinking straight? Do you need to call your son? What do you need to do in the next moment? Do you need to put a sweater on because it’s cold and that makes you not
concentrate? What do you need? I’m talking about little things on purpose. These are not crisis issues. They are taking care of your needs so you know what the next right step is.
Rick: As a massage therapist, I know that some people will sit at their desk
for four or five hours straight, ignoring the signal that their body is giving them to get up and move, to go out and get something to eat, to stretch, to roll the shoulders and stretch the neck. They will stay rigidly attentive, and the only reason to do that, I feel, is because you’ve got so much worry and stress and strain going on that you think that your survival depends on
where you are and what you’re focused on, rather than a balance of listening and flowing and doing the things that will keep your body well and relaxed and strong, as well as those things that move us forward in our business and our career and our family.
Carol: Right - that sense of urgency. “No, I have to. I can’t get up and go
to the bathroom or eat lunch or do anything. I’ve gotta be here. I’m tied to the computer.”
Rick: That’s where your intelligence will bring it up, right in the middle of
Carol: Mmm-hmm.
Rick: “What if I don’t?” What about the people that do have a negative
habit? That’s self-generating clutter every single moment of every single day. Is there some relief that we can start them on right now?
Carol: Yes, and I think the first thing to acknowledge and be compassionate
about toward yourself is that, if you are very negative - if you tend to go to the “what if” in a negative way - it is a habit because I promise you that you didn’t come out that way.
Rick: (laughing)
Carol: Maybe you learned it from a parent who was brilliant - a master at
negativity. Maybe you learned it due to an incident. Honestly look at it and say, “You know what? It is a habit. It does make me feel better. I am
accustomed to it.” Then admit, “I don’t think it’s that good for me!” I talked to an older woman who said that if she didn’t worry about her children and grandchildren, she would feel a bit useless. She had never worked in her life; this was her job. She never had a job in an office. Her job was taking care of her kids and her grandchildren. Now they are all of age. So if she doesn’t worry about her 24-year-old granddaughter, she doesn’t feel useful. If she doesn’t worry about her 50-year-old son… She feels like that’s her job. I said, “Okay, what’s the downside? Because it causes you great upset.” One of her kids smokes and one of her grandchildren smokes, and this causes her great upset. So I said, “What would happen if that was all peaceful and quiet?” She said, “One, I don’t know who I’d be…” Now, this is a woman incredibly fit and put together - mentally, physically, and spiritually - she’s in her 80s. She said, “Who am I, then, if I’m not worrying?” I can tell with her it’s going to take a while to help her feel needed, feel valuable, and feel like she can be in this world without wringing her hands about somebody. We’re not talking about not loving and not caring about them. We’re talking about unnecessary staying up at night with “What if he
chooses the wrong college?” or “What if my daughter gets divorced?” We’re talking about a little bit of everything. So for her, it may take a while, and that’s okay.
Rick: I think that one of the things that a coach can do sometimes is to
give people an alternative success strategy. In this case, if you talk about the vibrational approach, beating the drum on someone’s positive aspects - even when they’re not there - I have come to know that this changes the relationship. I believe this also energetically supports them in all the other things that they do.
Carol: That’s so awesome.
Rick: We can feel the people who really appreciate us all the time. You and
I know because we’re energetically sensitive. We’re attuned to the people that really like us, that really beat the drum of our good qualities. We feel during the down times. We feel during the up times. We feel as we go through our day. We know that they’re there. I think that a role for any of us in the relationships that we have is to be able to beat the drum of positive aspects. What do I like about this person? What qualities does my child have? What qualities does my grandchild have that he or she is developing? Maybe they’re not fully in bloom yet. Maybe they’re not bearing fruit yet. That’s okay - you’re beating the drum of “YES”. “My son is incredible. Look at this! Look at that!” Make them truthful - things that you’re in alignment with, that you really do appreciate. If you’re focusing in that way, there’s less room for worry. I find that worry will tend to be washed away by that kind of vibrational approach - by consciously choosing thoughts that feel better and that shine a much brighter light on people than the negative.
Carol: That habit, like a muscle, will be worked and stretched and moved
forward, and then you’ll become good at that. “Oh, I just have those
negative thoughts. What if I wrote that down in my book of positive aspects about this person?” Now, there’s another list that I find really helpful
because these habits often grab us unconsciously. Before we know it, we’ve had 43 negative thoughts before we catch ourselves.
Rick: (laughing) Yes.
Carol: My new favorite list that I do all the time now is 10 Things I Feel
Happy About. Now, that can be “My lunch was good.” That can be “I have a
new pair of sneakers.” We’re not talking about a life event. It’s just ten things I feel happy about. I love my home, I love my sneakers, I love the puppy I just saw. It can be anything from huge to small. I hold onto that because sometimes, if I’m in a negative spiral or cycle, first of all sometimes I’m wed to it and I don’t want to let go. Right? And other times I just need to pull out a list and say, “Hey! Let’s remind myself what I love.” What am I happy about? I am thrilled about this. Momentarily, it will get you off the negativity, which is a habit and a cycle, and in that moment it changes your vibration, you’re less cluttered, and in that moment, you then have access to more positive thought, and in that moment the spiral goes up as quickly as it goes down. I don’t think that there is anyone listening who has not had a series of negative spirals in their life. They can watch themselves going down the drain with negative thinking. Well, it goes up, too. I’ve had
universe that the positive cycles are wonderful, and they work very, very quickly. But I have to do it. I would say that I am not negative anymore. That’s an old habit. Now, I need to really grow - and I am growing,
consciously choosing those positive thoughts. And it starts with my list, 10
Things I am Happy About Today! “Hmm - it’s a pretty day.” “I got that
project done yesterday.” “I had a great call with someone yesterday.” Whatever it is, it’s on my list. It’s instantaneous. (I love things that are instant. I’m very impatient.) Instantaneously, you change your vibration.
Rick: I love that. One of the things that EFT can do is to stop that negative
vibrational trend - that negative spiral. As soon as you build up a habit, and you start feeling that downward trend, and you start tapping on a point, I have found that it stops the trend. I may not start tapping or I may not start shifting my vibrations until I bounce a little bit off the bottom, but it’s very different for those of us who have been tapping for years. I don’t have to tap very often, frankly - maybe two or three times a day, or an email will come in, or I’ll hear something. It’s usually more externally focused
nowadays. But those things used to grab me. When I first learned EFT, I started applying it diligently. I would tap on whatever was coming up; it would change the vibrations. What you’re talking about was the ten things that make me happy - are those new habits? With EFT, clearing the clutter from your vibrations will make it easier for you to instill new habits. If you’re so consumed by worrying about the future, ten things that you’re happy about right now is just not going to be on your priority list.
Carol: Right.
Rick: Those other big worries will be so huge. If you can’t get to that yet,
that’s okay. Write it on your list of things and just notice that as you clear the clutter in your vibration, the negative energies, the experiences - you’ll find that you will make time for things that give you more pleasure. They’ll come naturally. They’ll come into your awareness when you have five minutes, waiting in the doctor’s office. “A couple of things that I’m happy about right now…oh, yeah. I feel better. I’m in a better place now.”
Carol: Let’s do a round of EFT on assumption that some of us have a habit
of negativity, own that, and then try to move from it.