You probably won’t be the first person he’s ever had sex with. Especially since as men and women grow older, the number of partners they have been with increases proportionately to the number of relationships they have been in. So being the first there won’t happen unless you’re sixteen and reading this book, in which case you should not be reading this book, as it’s R Rated. But you can easily be the best with a little practice and some necessary communication with your man about what he likes and how he likes it. There are also a number of other activities you can be the first at, which will delight and pleasure him.
Your approach to being the first or the best is as important as the selection of activity you choose.
A word of caution: despite the fact that the sexual revolution occurred some 30 odd years ago, the attitudes of men towards women with regard to sexual equality have progressed very little unless a woman is paying her own way. While most men realize they aren’t your first, no man who loves you wants to think about the sex you’ve had with other men. So temper your abilities with tactful disclosure or else your man will think more about who you were with and what you did with that guy, than what you’re doing to him right now.
First of all know this: Great sex is more than a polished technique, it’s a vibe thing. So you will want to get into his head, to get on his vibe. Think about where he is in his day, in his week, in his life, in his choice of other activities. Is he quiet or shy or is he an adrenaline junky? Is he happy in his life right now or suffering from some loss? What are his personal choices like with regards to his house or wardrobe?
Are they progressive, modern and cutting edge or are they old school vintage? What is his background? Is it spiritual or free thinking? What were his choices in other women? Think about what he has ever mentioned that he liked or disliked about other women. What were the reasons he broke up with his last girlfriends?
If all of this sounds like a lot to pay attention to, it is.
But thinking about all of this is the only way you can specifically gear your sexual approach to the man you’re trying to please.
For example, I’ll go down the list and suggest a couple of sexual options for various aspects of a man’s personality.
A
quiet, shy guy will probably respond best to an incredibly intimate candlelight setting. The seduction would need to be tender; be ready to kiss him for awhile in the living room, but move to the bedroom for anything more. I wouldn’t suggest pulling out all the stops by using all your skills at once, but a seductive and dedicated blow job would be something that would probably blow his mind.By dedicated I mean, plan on doing it nice and slow at first, then use your hand to stroke him while you suck him. Bring the speed up gradually and don’t stop sucking on him until he cums. No matter how long that takes.
It may take awhile before he understands what your plan is. Don’t tell him you’re going to do it until he cums. Just keep doing it even if he tries to pull you up to kiss you or if he tells you he wants to do something for you now. Shy men can be quite courteous in the bedroom, feeling the compulsion to reciprocate, especially during oral sex. Even if he begs, just smile and move quietly and decisively back down between his legs and keep giving him head until he cums.
R
emember they call it sucking because there should be sucking. Men like a vacuum sensation on their cock and say they prefer women to suck harder rather than to delicately lick and lightly suck. After you’ve sucked for awhile, try swirling your tongue around the head of his cock to spice things up a bit. Suck harder as you get more into it, but not hard enough to leave a hickey. Bear in mind though, that no matter what your technique is, no guy is going to reject a girl who wants to give him head.N
ot every woman likes a man to cum in her mouth, even if she loves him, but if you want to be unforgettable to your man, let him cum in your mouth and then swallow it slowly, like you really enjoyed that moment with him. DON’T SPIT IT OUT in front of him and DON’T run to the bathroom right after he cums to spit it out or to wash out your mouth. If you honestlycan’t let him cum in your mouth, then right before he cums, lubricate him with your mouth and then use your hand to jerk him off while you move his cock down to the nape of your neck. Or better yet, slide his cock down between your breasts, stroking him up against and between your breasts and then let him cum there. He will probably be watching at this point, so for him to watch himself cum between your breasts or on the nape of your throat is also a turn on if he can’t cum in your mouth. For you, while you’re sucking him, finger yourself or massage your clit. It excites a man to think that having his cock in your mouth turns you on so much that you can’t restrain from self pleasuring. The added bonus is that when you stimulate yourself while he’s in your mouth, the low hum you make because you’re aroused adds to his arousal and both of you can have orgasms.
I
f you do this somewhat frequently and it starts to feel old, then mix it up by introducing food items to the act. Honey, ice or a mouthful of champagne while you’re giving him a blow job makes things more interesting. Or suck on an Altoids before you begin;the icy breath freshener creates a little chill action which is an exciting contrast to your warm, moist mouth.
F
or those of you who are even more adventurous, try this: right before your guy is ready to cum (you will know from experience or he should tell you), moisten your index finger with your saliva or with lubricant and after you lightly stimulate his anus; slide your finger up into his asshole until you can feel the rigid muscle of his prostate. When you reach his prostate, applygentle yet continuous pressure on it while you’re still sucking on his cock. This move will send him over the top! But watch the direction of your fingernails inside of him, because unless your man has expressed that he likes pain, it could get risky. In fact, if you do finger your man in his ass, remember to keep your nails short, keep the edges filed and be gentle. Slow and easy feels better and is better than too fast or pushy.
Think erotic seduction as you do this and you will experience delightful results.
T
he adrenaline junky is already a daring personality, so you’re going to want to mix it up a little for him. Find out if he’s had public sex. If not, then seduce him in a parking lot somewhere. Preferably not somewhere where it’s illegal, but someplace like the parking lot at the foot of his favorite hiking trail. A place he already associates with good vibes.
O
r seduce him while you’re on a road trip. While he’s driving, slide your hand between his legs and stroke him until he gets hard and then suggest that the two of you pull over somewhere at an exit so he can have sex with you. After he pulls over, don’t waste time discussing how to fold the seats down. Instead, lean into his lap and give him head while you suggest that he come around to your side of the car. Then get out of your seat, pull up your dress or pull down your jeans to your knees and bend over inside the car so that your upper body is face down on your seat. This way he can enter you from behind while he’s standing just inside your open car door. Don’t pull down your underwear.Let him decide whether to pull them to the side or to pull them down. Keep having sex with him until he
cums; no matter how many cars drive by. For yourself, I suggest moving your hand between your legs and stroking your clit and his cock at the same time. Wrap your fingers around the base of his cock and let your thumb rub your clit as he slides in and out of you, then both of you will cum. Preferably together.
I
s he happy or in a state of loss? Let’s cover happy first. If he’s happy, make the sex fun and spontaneous.Very spontaneous. Like while you’re watching TV or cooking dinner or better yet, take him to the movies;
you pay and then play with him in the theater (discreetly of course) or let him play with you. Then when you leave the theater make out with him in the car and have sex in the back seat. This will remind him of when he was young and free and could do as he pleased with the girl next door. His happy mood will only get better after a date night with you.
F
or a guy in a state of loss, he needs nurturing to accompany his sex. So I wouldn’t advise trying anything new or too wild with him. Bundle him up in a blanket and curl up next to him. Wait for him to get comfortable and then kiss him. Only kiss him. If he responds, keep kissing him and do nothing more.Don’t stroke him. Don’t place his hands on your body anywhere. Just keep giving him your mouth; your kiss, long deep, soul connecting kisses, with no pressure to do anything else. This may go on for an hour or more and that’s perfect. It’s what he needs. If something more is supposed to happen, let him make the move to do it. If he tries to make a move and it feels to you like he’s doing it because it’s expected, then slowly and gently kiss his hand and continue to hold his hand in
your hand, but return to kissing his mouth. Kissing may be all he can handle, but usually at some point his cock will dictate another activity. Wait until he seems so hungry for sex with you that he’s almost tearing into your clothes to get to your body. Then let him pound out all of those feelings he’s having into you.
S
ex is a cure for emotional distance. It’s a fake it ‘til you make it while you make it situation. In a slow seduction, you will give your man back the control he’s felt like he’s lost because of his loss and he will associate that redemption with comfort and stimulation from you.I
s he progressive, cutting edge or old school/vintage?If he’s progressive, then he probably likes the idea of toys. He may never have bought them or used them with anyone, but he’s not opposed to them. You should take a man like this shopping at your local adult store. Look at everything in order to open up your perspective on what’s available. Then discuss what you may be interested in trying out together. It may be as basic as flavored condoms or a warming lubricant or something more involved like a vibrator, Benoit balls or a pearl g-string. Be open and encouraging. Buy something and then take it home to try it out together.
F
or a guy who’s on the cutting edge of things, invest in webcams for both of you. Start the foreplay for your evening online as you’re getting dressed, instructing him on how to log into your computer so that he can watch you. If he has a webcam as well, he can also turn on his cam so you can watch how he responds.Setting up webcams is fairly easy since most come with a software program that allows you to connect from a remote computer location to the computer/camera receiving the images. If the camera you purchase doesn’t come with this program, you can purchase the program separately online. Using the keywords surveillance camera or webcam search for software and cameras that are compatible with each other. The information your guy will need to connect from his computer to yours is your IP (Internet Protocol) address. You can email your IP access data to him once you learn what it is. After installing the software on his computer, he will be able to access your computer and see you. It is advised that you check your IP address frequently before using your camera.
Most internet service providers change your IP address after a period of days or weeks to accommodate their businesses. You can determine your own IP address by going to:
www.whatismyipaddress.com.
If you use cameras to titillate your man, his sex drive will be on high by the time you meet up for your date and you may make it through dinner or a movie without a few deep kisses or furtive gropes, but I doubt it.
F
or someone who’s interested in old school décor, go to a vintage clothing store and buy some 50s or 60s era lingerie to wear in the bedroom or just around the house. Blanche Dubois had the right idea when she ran around in a silk slip and not much more. Silk feels good against a man’s skin and if you leave it on while he has his way with you, you’ll be as memorable as Blanche was.K
nowing his background gives you a big key to who he was raised to be. Since most men are inherently rebellious against their upbringing, working against the grain on this one would be in your favor. For example, if he was raised strictly and morally, then he expects the woman in his life to be a good girl.To be memorable, be a naughty girl. Flirt, wear sexy lingerie under your clothes and very discreetly, let him see that your bra is black lace or that your panties are g-string. Don’t be a tramp, be seductive and when you get into the bedroom, convince him to open up to you about what his fantasies are; then if it’s at all possible, enact those fantasies with him. Assure him that no one will know what you do together except for the two of you.
Men raised to be strictly moral enjoy having secrets in the bedroom. They have such an outwardly moral stance to maintain that the only place they can really cut loose and be risqué is in the bedroom. Use this information to your advantage. Discuss his secret thoughts with him and then act on those thoughts and you’ll become a permanent and pleasurable fixture in his mind.
C
onversely, if your man was raised in an open minded environment, or in a hippy era household, then he probably doesn’t get off on the secretive aspects of sex. He may already enjoy sex with very few self imposed boundaries. This doesn’t mean that he will want to jump right into an orgy, but it does mean that you should take advantage of his unrestrained mindset by injecting seduction into activities you already enjoytogether. Try seducing him while you’re together on a hike or take an amorous camping trip. Pack gourmet food and wine that enhances romance and bring along sexy lingerie or a string bikini for the river; then be prepared, because the sun and the outdoors are perfect places for a man to relax into his sexual world.
In relaxing his daily responsibilities, his libido will amp up. So get ready for fireside sex or river edge sex or fishing trip sex or hiking sex or spelunking sex. You get the picture. Create memories by integrating the intimacy the two of you share with an environment that is already both beautiful and memorable.
W
hat were his choices in other women – does he like blonds or redheads? Does he like women who wear tight clothing or tomboy types? All of this information can be used to seduce him.First, think about you. Have you ever wanted to be a sexy redhead? And you say your man likes redheads?
Great! Make an appointment with a colorist and go red! Or go blond and see if they really do have more fun. You say your man likes high heels but your highest heels are your two inch work pumps? Then go shopping for some sexy outfits that you only wear around your man or in the bedroom for his pleasure.
Another aspect of this character change requires you to be a lot bolder. In role play you would wear a wig and costume like clothes which will establish a fantasy scenario in your bedroom. If you have decorations to further set the mood, use them. Then literally adopt the personality, accent and demeanor of your fantasy character with your choice of wig and costume. Are you a chamber maid from old Britain or France? Then
act like it; be demure, be apologetic and consent to any of the Master’s wishes. Behave like his beck and call girl. If you want, speak with an accent. You may even want to wear a special perfume for your fantasies so that the “you” he is having sex with is completely different from the daily you he sees doing laundry or picking up around the house. Be different, but still you. Someone he cares about and knows, but also someone who excites him in a brand spanking new way.