At some point during the pull tab she has to get the idea that you’re actually hitting on her. This guides the encounter on to a discrete conclusion so that you don’t end up floating in some vague limbo where she’s not exactly sure what to make of you, and you don’t know what to do next. Making it clear that you are interested in her makes it appropriate for you to inquire about getting her number or having her accept yours. This is important because to just suddenly spring a “number grab” on her at the end of an otherwise neutral conversation might seem awkward, so you’ve got to hint at it beforehand and make sure she sees it
coming. The female is often compared to a feline in many ways – and nowhere is this more true than in her proclivity to be done in by her own curiosity. This gives us a point of leverage to manipulate her feelings. She should walk away from any successful first encounter intrigued to know more about who you are. Remember, what she doesn’t know she will tend to fill in with fantasy...
And so now we must move the conversation across some invisible line with the intent of transforming ourselves from nobody special to an intriguing stranger. I’ve found one cool way to do this is to suggest that some kind of intuition is at
play... that Fate is somehow responsible for tossing the two of you together right here, right now!
To get this mojo working for you, simply make an observation that suggests you have some kind of intuition about her. It doesn’t have to be anything extremely clever or Nostradomus-like... where she works, common friends, career field, etc. The important thing is to work the word ‘feeling’ into whatever you say in order to suggest that you’re having some kind of ‘sixth sense’ moment with her:
"I just had a feeling that..." “we worked on the same floor...”
“you were from my old neighborhood...”
“I would bump into someone interesting wearing a red pin today,” yada- yada... like that. Drop the word ‘feeling’ into the first part of whatever you say to her. This can instantly intrigue most women, some more than others depending how high their TQ happens to run, and make them experience an immediate connection with you.
Another thing you can do is make an Irresistible Statementto deliberately get a rise out of her. This one is my favorite because women are all paranoid about how they appear.
“You just have such an... exceptional look about you, it's something I’ve been on the lookout for lately."
"What kind of look? What are you talking about?", she will likely ask. You just gaze into her eyes and smile (very slightly) but kindly. You don’t have to go into a whole dissertation about her entire appearance – just an approving
comment about one aspect of her look that caught your eye, an odd piece of jewelry, tatoo, t-shirt slogan, belly piercing, should make the point. Similar to the whole custom commenting thing. The idea that you’ve been “on the lookout” is designed to intrigue too. Are you some kind of photographer or artist? What could be the deal? Let her twist some, and then explain innocently that you were thinking about getting a salon appointment for someone like you’re your sister for her birthday so she could get a hairstyle “just like yours’. So where did you get that done anyway?...
suggests an expertise in some field... and then ask her if she teaches it.
"You look like you’re into (yoga, aerobics, sculpting, ________ ), it's something I always wanted to try. You don't teach it by any chance?"
To look so good or appear so skilled at something that you might actually be an instructor? The compliments don’t get any smoother than this my friend. Of course, she’ll probably say that she doesn’t. Then you just say:
“Oh sorry... I just had the feeling (there’s that magic word again) that there was a little destiny at work.”
“Destiny?”
“You never know where a chance encounter with someone can lead.” An exchange like this should get her thoughts humming. Keep your
conversations with women elevated up out of the routine even if only just a little bit. This steers you away from that boring nice guy zone where most ordinary conversations that fail to provoke any emotion ultimately lead.
The formula for this type of dialog is simply this:
Make a provocative statement that contains some form of gentle compliment
+
Attribute your assertion to a sudden intuition that you had
about that person
You can also comment on a certain kind of vibe you’re getting from her which makes you think she could be into some kind of unusual occupation.
"I noticed you looking at those __________ over there, you have the look of an artist or something. That's the kind of sense I have. Are you into ______ art or music?"
You have a sense about her... you’re taking a wild guess based on a feeling. Even if your guess is way off base, the notion that you would think so is flattering to her, so don’t get tangled up overthinking everything.
Look for an opportunity to point out something that the two of you have in common – even just the experience you’re both sharing at the moment can be provocative. Admit the obvious... that you’re digging this chance encounter and would like to see something more come of it. Another form of confession, I
suppose. "Hey this is really cool bumping into you like this. Isn't it amazing how pure chance works sometimes?”
The big idea is to step beyond the ordinary and get her thinking differently about you. When a “hmmm, this guy is different...” light pops off in her head she may even begin to catch that first elusive whiff of chemistry. From here you can flow directly into asking her out since by now all pretenses have been dropped and the hit is revealed.
When you reveal that a play is on, you’re also revealing a desire for affection, so if that desire is shame-bound (see my other book Without
Embarrassment for a complete treatment of this subject) this moment is going to pull up a lot of fear along with it. Take a deep breath and deaden your anxieties, exhale quietly so as not to tip her off. Now deliver the following line from a place of centered calmness:
"Well... isn't this something..." "What?"
"This," you smile knowingly. Unfaltering eye contact is required here and a lowered tonality in your voice as well. The non-verbal exchange of looks speaks far louder than words.
Remember that seduction is a form of benevolent manipulation, and here’s where we begin steering things to our advantage. So far we’ve established contact with a girl who was a perfect stranger only moments before, received a fairly good response from our cool observation and warm comment, and have been applying a little humorous charm to get her thinking that we're a different sort of guy. But we're still in that grey area where she's trying to get a read on us. Now’s time to give her what I call the "smitten look". The word smitten is an old
fashioned term that describes a feeling of sudden romantic attraction towards someone that you've just met.
Here’s how the move is executed: widen your eyes in mock surprise and give her a “holy smoke...” sort of look. This is a wide-eyed look, (careful... not a wild-eyed!), and you only flash it for a second or two, so make sure you’ve got good eye contact established first or she won’t see it! Then you “catch” yourself and quickly get back under control. Give her a slight, knowing/devilish sort of smile, invade her personal space with a slow tiny step forward, (her breathing may actually halt, I’ve seen it happen...), and say the following words:
“You really have a great...” (Pause here as if you’re struggling to come up with the right words, “... sort of... energy (or passion, vitality, etc.) about you.”
You can actually memorize this one line if you want to and practice it. Drill it in there like a familiar song lyric. If she responds, “What do you mean?”, tell her : “I mean, it just struck me how cool you looked (standing, relaxing, doing something, etc.) there, I guess you’ve caught me admiring...”
This "you’re really doing it for me" revelation has to seem like it just
unexpectedly knocked you off balance. You want her to get the idea that you did not expect this to happen – and that now you’re trying to make sense of it.
Do not underestimate the effect your being “suddenly smitten” can have on a girl. It’s a knockout compliment of the highest order, the sort of stuff she will remember forever. A cleanly executed first impression can carry you for a lifetime with the fond memories it conjures in her heart. I think it’s fun to mess with
women in this manner... imagine how infrequently a guy makes a play this
smooth on any girl out there. Most women will never experience such a smooth hit in their lives! Why do you think they’re glued to those shitty soap operas all day long?