Intention v Behavior - CHPH2 - DVDs - Transcripts - Part

Igor: Before the break we started playing a little bit with some revivification and did you all experience the emotions starting to arise and it’s kind of pleasant and its fun, its wow, this is great stuff, right? Before we carry on down that path I’d like to have a little chat about something which is of great importance to our work as hypnotherapists. It’s a fundamental understanding. It’s a point of view that no one can prove or disprove, however, in my experience if you adopt this point of view and I certainly have, it makes your life as a hypnotherapist infinitely easier than not. It is your choice, whether or not you accept it. It’s entirely your choice, but I want to present you the frame of reference I use and why I use it so that you can adopt it or not as you wish. Does it make sense?

All: Yes.

• Behavior v Intention

Igor: Alright? There is a difference between what people do and what they try to achieve by doing that thing. So there is a difference between how people behave and the intention, the purpose for that behavior, what they are trying to achieve through that behavior. For example little Jonny is five years old goes to a new school, he walks up to some kid, says hi and they are mean to him. Happens again the next day, he somehow falls into this unpleasant rut where he is the kid that everyone picks on. So after a few weeks, maybe a few months of this what does

125

Little Johnny grows up he leaves school, he grows up, he grows older and then when he gets into his older years he is this unfortunately bitter old man who is sitting or walking around play grounds shouting at kids. Is he a bad person? You can clearly see what he is doing is trying to protect himself. He is running an old pattern that he has never managed to master. He doesn’t need to be mean to kids any more does he? He doesn’t need to protect himself from that anymore. His behavior has become useless or pointless at this stage. However the intention he is trying to do to protect himself emotionally from harm that’s a good thing isn’t it? Whilst at the same time his behavior, being mean to kids, that’s not a good thing is it? You see how that works?

So the belief or the point of view that I happen to have and you are welcome to share or not, is aside from some shall we say issues where their biology in a case where there is brain damage or something like that, in the average person shall we say every behavior is motivated by a positive intention. No matter how bad the behavior is the intention is always a positive good thing, something you would approve of, something that is respectable. The behavior however may be atrocious, do you see where I’m going with this? Now let me give you some hard examples of this. Would we all overall think that I don’t know, that Hitler and his holocaust the behavior was it a good thing or a bad thing?

All: Bad.

Igor: Are you sure there is not that many people speaking right now. Good thing or bad thing?

All: Bad.

Igor: Right, it’s pretty awful, right? So the behavior is to be condemned. What kind of positive intensions could he have had, we’ll never know of course because he is not around, but what might he have been trying to achieve that is positive, although his means of trying to do it are really not the best ways of getting there. Q: To improve the economic state of the nation.

126

or bad thing to give the whole nation hope? All: Good.

Igor: It’s a good thing, right? The means was bad, but the intention is a good one isn’t it? What else might he have intended?

Q: Unification of the people.

Igor: To unify people is that a bad thing or a good thing? Give people their self respect back. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

All: It’s good.

Igor: It’s a good thing. Once again the means was bad. The behavior was reprehensible but not necessarily the intention, as far as we can hallucinate that. Is this kind of making sense? Every behavior someone engages in will have some kind of positive intention, something that person needs, that is good for that person and the irony is this, most negative behaviors like that don’t actually serve that intention. They are actually inadequate for reaching that outcome. That’s why they are stuck in a compulsion with it. But here is the problem, what happens when you say to someone, you need to stop doing that.

What if you go to the old man, you know old Jonny now in the playground telling off young kids and someone comes up to him and he says, you have to stop talking to kids like that it’s not, right? What is he hearing?

Q: He is not going to stop.

Igor: You have to stop protecting yourself, that’s not right, because to him it’s the same thing. At least the way the unconscious mind is reasoning at that point. Do you see where I’m going with this? That’s why he’ll resist it, because to the extent you try and change the behavior only and you are not taking care of whatever the behavior is trying to achieve, well there is a void there.

However, what if you were to walk up to Johnny’s unconscious, the one that is running this whole thing and you managed to get into a dialogue and show Johnny unconscious mind that if he behaved in a different way, he was nice to

127

CHPH 2.0 ©Street Hypnosis All Rights Reserved kids, not only would he protect himself from them being mean back, but actually his reward would go far beyond that. What do you think the chances are that if the unconscious mind accepted the idea that his behavior would change?

Q: 100%.

Igor: Pretty certain, right, because we’ll all do the things that will get us the best result to the extent that we know, right? So we need to be able to separate this idea of how people behave from what they are trying to achieve by it. Once you can get passed the behavior and look at their intentions, you gain the power to transform the behaviors very easily, because the intention is satisfied. Would you like me to give you a very personal example that you’ve experienced in here all ready yes? When Renee came up here for the stop smoking, would you say that she saw the behavior smoking was good or bad?

All: Bad.

Igor: Yet she was stuck in the loop why, because it was doing something for her. The intention was to help her to de-stress at the end of a stressful period, right? Was it doing a good job of it?

All: No.

Igor: Adequate, but not necessarily good, but whilst the unconscious mind was hanging on to the idea that this is only way that I can have some peace after all this stuff has happened, is there any wonder there is a compulsion for a cigarette, right?

So what happened during the whole mind-bending procedure? Wouldn’t be fair to say we found the intention to relax. She found a better way of getting it and now there is a better behavior in place. Something that serves the intention more directly, more fully than the old behavior did. Now how could the old behavior exist anymore when something better has come in its place? People are fundamentally not irrational. There is always a logic to what they are doing, even if we can’t necessarily see it upfront in terms of their behavior or even how they are verbalizing and talking about things.

128

CHPH 2.0 ©Street Hypnosis All Rights Reserved So this idea of behavior versus intention does that make sense to you guys? Can you see it kind of in action in your own lives, the people you have met and so on, things like that, yeah?

So once again this gives you hopefully another facet of the general idea, the general saying that what you resist will persist and what you accept you gain the power to transform, because what people resist is this, they are resisting so I will not smoke now, that is will power stopping us smoking, right? I will not smoke. They are resisting the behavior. How well does that work? It doesn’t work at all does it? It will persist because the intention has not been satisfied, but when you – but what you accept you gain the power to transform because when you accept all this you are also accepting this and this is what transforms that. Do you see how that works? (Intention transforms Behavior)

It’s true in our own personal lives how we deal with ourselves and its true of other people. Of course I can sit up here and pontificate, oh look how cleaver I am. I get stuck in exactly the same loops as everyone else does. I’m no special guru in the mountain, but I can tell you that as therapist this makes your life a heck of a lot easier, because when people come in complaining of a behavior as soon as you find the intention behind that, your ability to change the behavior, it’s easy. Does that make sense? Does this make sense to you guys?

All: Yes.

Igor: Yeah okay.

Regression Training 2

Igor: So let’s do an exercise again. Before the break you all had a partner you talked to you partner and you had them bring to life a happy or a very pleasant positive emotion is that correct? You then put attention on that, H+ the special kind of hypnotic attention shall we call it and in doing so it tended to grow did it not yes? Overall was it positive experience or a negative one?

129

moment is find a different partner and I’d like you to do the same thing again only this time what we will be doing is this, you got them – just talking to them you get into a little bit of a trance. You are getting a small emotion to arise – we are getting a small emotion to arise and as you focus on it, it becomes a nice large emotion, right? That’s kind of what you’ve had so far, but you have to first drop them into it in order for that to happen.

Now what if you said to them I’m going to count from three down to one or whatever signal you want to give, a simple count is easy. At the count of one you will go to an earlier time where you felt exactly this and only this, exactly this and only this same emotion. Then you count to three two one and you ask your classic revivification questions, your orientation questions which were things like what do you see? What do you sense? Do you remember in the Dynamic Induction how you made that place come to life a little bit, without putting your fish in their dreams, right? What do you see? What do you sense? Are you inside or are you outside? Why are we giving a binary choice like this? Because if I said are you inside well I wasn’t, but you know what, I will be now.

Q: It’s a suggestion.

Igor: Exactly it becomes a suggestion. If I give a binary choice with equal emphasis on both words, they get to choose now, they get to tell you what's happening, you are minimizing the risk that you are accidentally inducing it.

When we are working with memories, there is something called False Memory Syndrome. Anyone heard of that term before? This is a terrible thing that happened, was rampant in the 90s and it’s still very controversial, where a whole bunch of families here in America and the UK and I think in Europe in general as well, it’s a weird the way they swept the globe, where social workers were a little over keen and started finding sexual abuse and abuse in children in places where they really didn’t exist.

What they were doing is this, little Johnny comes in to the social workers office and the social worker says, so little Johnny what happened. Well uncle Johnny came home and then played with me. What did he do? Well you know we were doing stuff and were… Did he touch you down there? What's the kid going to do

130

Do you see how cautious you have to be of this stuff? Now this is a crude example, but when you have interviewed – there are versions of brain-washing out there from cults and so on where they would literally interview people for hours on end doing this until new memories have arisen. It’s crazy. So be very, very careful you don’t accidentally implant something. Does that make sense to you guys?

So binary choices allow them to tell you what's occurring. They have to be either inside or outside somewhere, don’t they? Another classic one is alone or with others. Someone will always be – you are always either on your own or with others, right? It maybe one other or it may be many others, but you are always either alone or with others. There is no other choice is their? Unless I know of some super state that’s kind of in between.

• See/Sense

• Inside/Outside

• Alone/Others

So do these ideas kind of make sense to you? So the idea is very simple. Get a positive emotion yea! Make it stronger yea! Count of three you are going to move back in time to a time when you felt exactly this way and only this way, notice the emphasis because I don’t want to go to anywhere else only this way. Are you ready to do that? Yes. Okay three two one go be there now. Where are you? Inside or outside? I’m kind of outside. Are you alone or with others? I’m alone. What do you see, what do you sense?

Well I’m in park there are people playing football and so on and I’m just here on my own doing my own thing. How old are you or don’t you even know what that means yet? Because does a four year old know what age means, three year old, right, maybe, maybe not. So you give them the option. Make sense? I doubt they will be going far as back, they probably go like five years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago that sort of thing, it tends to be what happens but you never know. You don’t want to putting your fish in their dreams. Did I make sense?

131

Igor: Once you’ve had that just tell them to go ahead and enjoy the experience. Make sure that it is enjoyable. It is a purely, only, singularly positive emotional experience. Once they’ve enjoyed it, bring them back, literally, once you have hit this scene here and they have oriented to it once, they are here, you done. Bring them back, it’s their go they will do it for you, everyone has a great time.

Everyone is happy-clappy yea we are having fun. Easy, any questions about that as a process? It’s really just adding one more step to what you have done before plus your regular orienting questions that you are familiar with from a few days ago. Please find a different partner and have fun with this.

So what kind of experience did you have? Actually before we start talking about this, a good rule of thumb is check in with your partner if you can talk about whatever experiences you just had with each other is that okay? Just double check. Say, yes, yes and you will be fine or yes no and that’s fine. Okay so we have a hand up here and then one back there.

Q: So one thing I really appreciated is and I have noticed this a couple of other times today when I am completely H+ I like – I felt like I was there like with him in like part of that…

Igor: You are going to get sucked into their memory and you can kind of play with it too.

Q: Yeah totally and it was so lovely I was just really very easy just – again this would be my words, but like stepping over completely onto his map and being there with him it was very vivid and real for me as I listened to him. It was really lovely. Igor: Beautiful. Did anyone else feel that as well?

All: Yes. Igor: Fantastic.

Q: I’ve a lot of good trances this week already and what I noticed this time though something different happened when I was moving from you know the current

132

Igor: Right, and you felt like more sucked into the experience that was great. Q: It was feeling like I was pulled into something.

Igor: Let me just pause you there. Anyone else experience this sort of thing yes? Hands up. So this is not uncommon. Would you like to know what that is?

Q: Yes.

Igor: Recall we start with a strong positive emotion, right? Now one of the key ways that we store memories is through emotions, it’s through all our senses, but the emotions are the strongest of all our senses. So they have the strongest memory trace shall we say. So the stronger the emotion is here the bigger this bridge it’s called an Affect Bridge. Affect is just a complex way of saying emotion. You can

In document CHPH2 - DVDs - Transcripts - Part - 2 (Page 124-149)