Panic & Acceptance - Ex Factor Guide 4

Chapter 4: Panic & Acceptance

Okay. So you’re probably still quite fresh off your breakup, and you’re

emotionally broken. I know what you really want to do… you want to call her up and talk. You want to send her an e-mail or Facebook message explaining how much you miss her and how much you’re willing to fix things. You want to get on your phone and send her a million text messages letting her know how you feel. Does this sound about accurate?

I know the feeling. You’re panicking. And this is perfectly normal for you to feel this way, but acting on your current emotions right now is definitely not the best way to get back with your ex-girlfriend. By acting on these emotions, you’re basically telling her that you’re desperate. Desperation and insecurity are, as we have concluded, very negative and unattractive traits. So bear with me – if you want your ex-girlfriend back, don’t do anything yet.

But what is panic? Why are you feeling this way? I know you aren’t typically like this. In fact, you’re probably a very rational and understanding person under normal circumstances, but panic and desperation can cause even the most rational person to

immediate loss of something is valuable to you.

Think about a quarterback in a football game for a minute. The

quarterback has to make a decision on what to do with the ball before the defensive lineman tries to tackle him. As the defensive player attempts to break through the quarterback’s offensive linemen, the quarterback is losing time and space. If he’s a bad quarterback, he’ll wait until the very last moment, panic, and do something stupid with the ball. A good quarterback, on the other hand, is calmer, cooler, and is therefore much more likely to do something rational with the football.

Sometimes people panic because they are thrown into a completely different situation. Even if, logically, your girlfriend wasn’t exactly right for you… at least you were accustomed to having her around. You were familiar with her, and familiarity is something humans like. This sort of change is enough to induce panic in most men, especially if they’ve been with their girlfriend for a long period of time.

©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 48 So before you make things better, you need to focus on yourself and lessen the amount of desperation you’re feeling. Only then will you be able to think rationally and win your girlfriend back.

In essence, what you need to do right now is accept the current situation. It obviously isn’t to your liking, but the breakup happened. As of this moment, there is absolutely nothing you can do or say to get her back right now. (Don’t worry, we’re getting there.)

Trust me, you don’t want to go down the other, dangerous path. I’ve attempted to help many men that fail because they fail to accept the situation, and they start doing the complete opposite of what I say. They’ll start lying to their ex about certain

situations. They’ll begin to stalk their ex… not only physically, but via the internet, too. They will begin to send hurtful and sometimes hateful messages to their ex-girlfriends, which only augment the problem. Sometimes, they’ll even seek revenge and attempt to sleep with their ex-girlfriend’s friends (which, surprise, surprise, doesn’t work at all).

All I’m saying is this: I know there are a lot of negative emotions you’re feeling right now, and it’s completely normal. It’s how you handle these emotions that define

Don’t Pressure Her

Pressuring your ex to get back together with you will just be the nail in the coffin.

I remember when I used sell suits at a men’s clothing store (way back in the day…). At the time, I had absolutely no idea how to

sell anything. I had no idea why they even hired me. On my very first day, I went up to my first prospective customer and I laid down the law of the land – “Buy now and get the second suit half off! Sale ends tomorrow! Buy now or you’ll definitely regret it! This suit looks GREAT on you!”

Whoa.

I’m not exactly sure why my manager didn’t fire me right then and there. Maybe because she just felt sorry for me! Needless to say, I didn’t sell a single bloody suit my

After a few more encounters with customers, I sold my first suit using the

weirdest technique ever: I stopped trying. Okay, don’t take that too literally… I did still try and sell suits, but I made it appear like it didn’t matter if they bought the suit or not. Instead, I just simply talked about how our suits compared with suits from other stores. I talked about what type of things to look for when buying a new suit. I just talked about useful information, and everything else just fell into place. I became the best suit salesman in the universe (well, no, but I was the best suit salesman at my store at least…).

If you ever feel the temptation to try and contact your ex and pressure her into getting back together with you, stop and tell yourself, “If I really want to get back with my girlfriend, then I’ll listen to Brad Browning. He knows what to do!”

Here’s the unfortunate truth: you cannot talk your ex into giving your

relationship another try. And, if you attempt to do so, you’ll almost certainly make matters much worse.

Some Good News

Like I said, there is a silver lining amidst the panic and depression. Chances are, your ex probably still wants you back in her arms.

It’s true.

I mean, think about it logically for a second. You two have history… and despite whatever happened between you two, you will both still have those great memories and stories you experienced together. You have a ton of inside jokes that you’ve both shared. You both have had some sexual history as well (at least I hope so).

The bottom of the line is that at some point in your life, you were both quite attracted to each other. You see, human beings are, for the most part, creatures of habit. You probably wake up every morning with the exact same routine… and throwing a wrench in your morning routine is probably unthinkable at this point. This is the exact same thing that your girlfriend has shared with you! You are extremely comfortable with one another. In fact, she is probably more familiar with you than any other guy right now. You have an advantage over the competition.

In document Ex Factor Guide 4 (Page 45-52)