Ex Factor Guide 4

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The Comprehensive Guide To Getting Your Ex Back

Fourth Edition -- Published June 2014

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Important Disclaimers

By purchasing this product, you are confirming that you understand and accept the following important disclaimers:

This Product Is Not A Substitute For Certified Professional Counseling

This product is not a substitute for counseling, advice, or medical assistance administered by certified professionals.

The author does not guarantee the accuracy or effectiveness of any information or advice provided within this product. If you are unsure about the advice or information provided by Brad Browning or found in this product, seek further assistance from a certified professional.

Know The Signs Of Depression & Seek Help If Needed

Breakups and relationship conflict can lead to sadness, depression, and a wide range of other difficult emotions. This is to be expected and is normal for most people.

However, in rare circumstances, or with individuals who suffer from medical or psychological conditions, breakups can lead to clinical depression. If, at any time, you believe that the depression symptoms you are

experiencing are not normal – or if you have thoughts of suicide or self-harm – seek professional help immediately.

Regardless of where you live, there are mental health resources and assistance available to you. Contact your doctor or phone your local health care provider to find the help you need in your local area.

Click here to see a list of symptoms associated with depression. If you encounter any of these symptoms, seek help from a certified mental health practitioner.

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Prologue

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Prologue: The Big Picture

This book is about getting your ex back. For the next 14 chapters, that’s all I’m going to be talking about.

But before we begin talking about your ex, I want to quickly remind you of

something that you may have already lost sight of. Something extremely important that you need to keep in mind as you read through this book.

Wait… What’s Your REAL Goal?

I know, I know… you want your ex back. And I’m going to help you make that happen.

But guess what? Your ex is not what you’re REALLY seeking.

I mean, sure… you DO want your ex back… but have you stopped to think about why?

You want your ex back because that’s your ticket to happiness. With your ex back in your life, the loneliness, heartache, and depression that have been hovering

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satisfied with life once again.

But remember: it’s actually happiness that you’re chasing after, not your ex. I’m not saying this because I want you to stop trying to fix things with your ex and move on. Not at all – in fact, I am confident that this book will give you the strategies you need to make that happen. I’ve seen thousands of couples re-unite thanks to the tips and strategies in this book.

But, at the end of the day, you can still “win” and achieve happiness… even if your ex disappears from your life forever. I know that’s an annoying thing to hear right now – I’m sure your friends and family have already given you the speech about how there’s “plenty of fish in the sea” and “you’ll find someone new soon” – but it’s 100% true.

If I told you I could match you up with your ‘soulmate’ – someone who would make you just as happy and content as your ex did, and then some – would you say no, and continue chasing after your ex? If so, then you need to really think that one

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The Science Of Being Happy

You probably think this entire prologue about “finding happiness” is a bunch of crap to try and make you feel better, right? Or maybe you think I’m just trying to prepare you for the possibility you may fail to get your ex back?

Wrong. On both accounts.

Like most of the things in this book, my comments in this prologue about “finding happiness” are derived from science.

Researchers have proven that, with very few exceptions, any event that

happens today will have very little (if any) impact on how happy you are in 3 months time.

In other words, short of your first-born child tragically dying in a plane crash, nothing can keep you feeling sad and heartbroken way for more than a few months. Numerous studies have confirmed this.

This is important to understand, because it is scientific proof to support what I said earlier: that you will achieve your overarching goal – to be happy and satisfied with life again – within a few months. Even if your breakup was brutal and your 20-year

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Still skeptical? Examples of how past events have very little impact on our long-term happiness are everywhere you look.

My favorite example: a few years ago, a Louisiana man who was wrongfully convicted of murder and spent 37 years in maximum security prison had his guilty verdict overturned thanks to new DNA evidence that proved his innocence. What did this man, wrongfully jailed for most of his adult life, have to say when interviewed a year after his release?

“I don’t have any regrets,” he said, reflecting on the 4 decades he spent behind bars. “It was a glorious experience.”

Uh, ok. Right. Sounds crazy, but it proves the point very well.

Essentially, this poor guy lived through 37 years of hell, but within a year of being released from prison, his time in prison had no impact on his happiness. So surely, if half a life in prison has zero impact on how happy a person feels just one year after being released, don’t you think you’ll manage to recover from this breakup just as quickly?

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 14 Now, if it’s already been a year or more since your breakup and you’re still feeling just as heartbroken today as you were the day your ex dumped you, then one of two things has happened: a) you haven’t taken the steps necessary to move on and

continue with your life in a positive direction (this is necessary even if you want your ex back, as you’ll read later in this book); or b) you’re facing a particularly challenging situation and it will take longer than normal (maybe another 6 months, or more) to get over the worst of the heartache and start feeling better about life.

(If you’re interested in learning more about the psychology of happiness and how the human brain overcomes adversity, watch this fascinating TED Talk video by Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert.)

The Bottom Line

In the next 14 chapters, I’m going to give you all the information you need to win your ex back. This is usually enough to make that happen, and when it does, you’ll be happier than ever.

But, even in the unlikely event that your situation is truly and you fail to get a second chance with your ex, even after following my advice to the letter… you’ll still end up finding satisfaction and contentment!

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Chapter 1

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Chapter 1: Introduction

Welcome to The Ex Factor Guide! This e-book is the comprehensive guide to getting your girlfriend back. Let me start off by saying this…

I know exactly how you feel right now.

I know the gut-wrenching feeling of having your heart broken into a billion little pieces, only to hear “Don’t talk to me.” and “I don’t care.” I know the feeling of having that girl call you up and tell you that she doesn’t love you anymore. I know the feeling of having her ignore you to the point that she won’t even look at you or talk to you. I know the feeling of walking home after a hard day’s work only to catch your girlfriend kissing another man in your bedroom. I know how it feels to take a glance at your girlfriend’s cell phone, only to read several text messages from men saying what they want to do with her in bed. I just know. You can trust me on that.

Even as I write this, all those horrible feelings come back to haunt me. It kills me to know that you’re going through this right now. I just want you to know that I’ve felt everything you are feeling right now plus much, much more.

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 18 The good news, though, is that I eventually overcame all those feelings… and, as I talked about in the prologue, you too will recover and find happiness again.

Enough about me. Let’s talk about you and your ex.

Forget About What You Think You Know

Most people think breakups are simple, and that winning your ex back is just a matter of apologizing and promising things will be different if you start over with your ex.

Yeah, right. If it were that simple, I wouldn’t have spent the last decade helping men and women around the world reverse their breakups. No-one would need my advice if getting an ex back was easy or simple.

Unfortunately, when it comes to relationship dynamics and the psychology of breakups, most people are totally clueless. Which is why you need to be wary of anyone who offers you “advice”… especially if it contradicts the strategies in this book.

Maybe you’ve asked a close friend or one of your relatives about the breakup… and I know they probably told you something like:

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“Just tell her you love her and she’ll come running back!”

Or…

”Tell her that you’re sorry for being the way you are and show her that you care!”

While this advice sounds logical, it’s the last thing you should do if you ever want to see your girlfriend again.

Do you want to learn the first step on how to get your girlfriend back right now? Don’t do anything right now… except read this book from cover to cover.

You heard me…. read this book in its entirety right now, before you do anything else.

Frankly, I wish someone gave me a book like this when my first long-term

girlfriend dumped me. Had I received some proper guidance, I wouldn’t have made so many stupid mistakes. In fact, I’d probably still be with her right now.

I can tell you for a fact that you are probably doing something right now that is actually pushing your ex girlfriend further away from you (and into the arms of another man). Unless you apply all of the advice and strategies I discuss in this book, that will continue to be the case. The more you read this book, and the more you understand

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I’m Rooting For You

I promise you from the very bottom of my heart that I want you to succeed. That’s why I wrote this book. I didn’t write this book to gain fame and fortune. I

genuinely want to help men cure their broken hearts. I’m sick and tired of poor guys all around the world getting walked all over by bitchy women. I’m sick and tired of men e-mailing me and crying for help. And

I’m sick of all the desperation and tears.

I’ve tried to make this book as short as possible. Unlike other relationship books, I won’t fill this book with unrelated garbage. I’ll only tell you what you need to know and nothing more because I know

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If you have any questions about the book, please add me as a friend Facebook,

follow me on Twitter, and add me to your Google+ circles. I encourage you to add me to all three as I regularly post useful content that you can apply immediately. I’m also happy to answer quick questions via social media, either privately or on my public profile, so feel free to drop me a line.

And by the way, when this program works for you, I give you permission to send me an awesome gift.

I’m Here To Help If You Need It

In case you missed my offer when you signed up to the program, I offer personal 1-on-1 coaching. Because I know how difficult it can be to cope with the loss of

someone, I can be there for you to personally guide you through the steps of getting your ex back.

Most of my coaching clients have had remarkable success, which makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, but it also makes my personal coaching service a worthwhile

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Everybody is different and every situation is different. If you sign up for my

personal coaching service, I will personally tailor a plan of action specific to getting your ex back. If you want to check out the details of my personal coaching service, you can click here for additional information or to sign up now.

I won’t be able to offer this service forever, as I can only help so many clients a month, so I recommend you sign up ASAP to ensure you’re able to reserve your spot.

The Real Reason You’re Alone

You can drive yourself insane asking questions about what went wrong in your relationship. I know I did. Sometimes, the reasons why a relationship ends can be quite complex… but usually understanding what went wrong will help identify the very best way to get your girlfriend back into your arms.

Although the reasons for a breakup may be quite varied and numerous, they all boil down to one significant factor: your girlfriend has lost her attraction for you. Whether this loss of attraction resulted from one specific event or occurred slowly over

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A famous relationship expert once said that “attraction isn’t a choice”. Sadly, he’s absolutely right. You simply cannot force yourself to be attracted to somebody. Think of an ugly female friend you have… someone you don’t find the least bit attractive. You can’t force yourself to love her, can you? Sure, maybe you’d be okay with having sex with her if the chance arose (with a brown paper bag over her head), but there’s nothing you can do to make yourself love her if she just isn’t your “cup of tea.”

This is the same for women. You simply can’t flick a switch and make a girl love you again, in the same way you can’t snap your fingers and make yourself love that ugly friend of yours (even though she might be the nicest person on the planet, attraction can’t be forced, it has to occur naturally).

You can, however, learn how to manipulate your behavior to make yourself much more attractive to the opposite sex… and more importantly, to your ex-girlfriend. In the next chapter, I’ll briefly go over the list of attractive male qualities.

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Chapter 2

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Chapter 2: Attractive Characteristics

What you’re about to read is information that most men will never know in their entire lives. This is a nearly exhaustive list of traits that attractive men possess.

Do you know any guys that are just

naturally gifted with women? Study this list and you’ll find that your “Don Juan” friend possesses many of these attractive characteristics…

1.) You are a leader. Women are naturally attracted to men with power. There’s a reason why women want to sleep with the star quarterback of a football team – not

the backup kicker. There’s a reason why women want to sleep with the lead singer of the band and not the bass player (no offense if you play bass!). The

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2.) You don’t let other people affect and change your reality – especially on an emotional level. Attractive women are used to seeing guys get emotionally

flustered when they’re around them. But when they see a guy who is completely indifferent to them, they get emotionally flustered.

You see, women have an incredible “Sixth Sense.” No, this doesn’t mean they see ghosts that jump out of the television screen (though, at times, a girl may seem this psychotic… but that’s for an entirely different book altogether). Women are very attuned to social subtleties. They can read your body language and decipher underlying truths of what you’re *actually* trying to say. And based on these factors, they can deduce how ‘sexually’ needy you are.

3.) You don’t care what other people think of you. Men who don’t give a sh*t are badass. Look at Hollywood movies or the most popular TV shows and you’ll find the sexy male figures share this quality. It is very attractive, and can also tie in to

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aren’t afraid to buck a trend).

4.) You take care of yourself. Though it might not be the very reason your

girlfriend broke up with you, men in

relationships tend to “let themselves go.” Being clean and handsome isn’t rocket science, and does wonders for creating attraction with your girlfriend (and other women!). Surprisingly enough, studies show that being well-groomed also means that you’ll be more successful in life and have more friends!

5.) You know how to provoke a positive emotional response in women. In other words, you know how to have fun. That

The attractive characteristics I describe in this chapter are what I call the “Alpha Attraction”

framework. The entire Ex Factor

Guide program is built around these fundamental traits, because they’re the key to rebuilding your ex’s attraction for you. Since you can’t talk your way back into her arms, you need to use the Alpha Attraction framework to change her mind to the point where she chooses, of her own free will, to get back together. The good news is that, at some point in the past, your ex was attracted to you… so your objective is to make her feel that way again.

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 28 means making her laugh. You’ve probably heard that humor is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs a man can possess. And, the majority of the time, if you ask a woman what she looks for in a man, there’s a very good chance that she’ll probably say “humor.” Use it! If you aren’t blessed with natural charm and the ability to make women laugh, don’t worry, because you can learn this skill.

6.) You are rich (and I don’t mean financially rich, although that never hurts either!). You are culturally, mentally, and emotionally rich. Because of this, you are a selfless giver to the ones you love. You don’t give your value to people you don’t know and it takes a lot for someone to get into your “good books.” Since you have an abundance of value, you

never need anything. Loser guys constantly ask for money and love, but “high-value” men never ask for anything. They are independent and strong. Did you make this mistake when you were in your

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7.) You are intelligent and talented. You have passions that extend beyond watching TV and playing videogames. Women are attracted to men that have a diverse array of skills. That means you love playing the piano. You sing. You dance. You can paint. You can juggle eight chainsaws simultaneously while you fish… in the dark! You get the picture.

8.) You are social. You’ve got a ton of friends and you are very socially “aware.” You love your friends and treat them with respect. In your eyes, your friends are of very high value and you don’t surround yourself with losers. You also know how to make friends easily.

9.) You have goals. You’re ambitious. No girlfriend wants a lazy and uninspired boyfriend. You need to know exactly what you want and exactly how to get it. Even something as little as announcing what you’re going to do that day – and then doing it – makes a huge difference. Don’t be afraid to share your goals with

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10.) Other women want you. Although this may have been a source of problems in your relationship, you’ve never cheated. You also make it known to your girlfriend that other women that are chasing you. Other relationship experts call this “pre-selection.” When a woman sees that you’re with other attractive women, she is hard-wired to feel attraction for you. Sometimes relationships get boring because there’s no “risk” of losing their mates. Yes, this sounds absurd, but it’s true.

Carefully and subtly, let her know that other girls are interested, but that you don’t care about them.

11.) You’re a bold protector of the ones you are closest to. That means you know how to take care of your friends and your family. You stick up for your girlfriend through thick and thin.

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understands me!” Just be like that mind-reading vampire from a teen fiction novel and you’ll have women clamoring after you. But seriously… you make it known to her that you understand her (and other women) on a level that no other guy can.

13.) You’re humble. You may have been told you that you need to always be “cocky and confident” to the point that you’re borderline arrogant, but I’m here to tell you that women are incredibly turned off by this. Showing a woman you have great value isn’t about telling her that you have value, it’s about showing her you have value. There’s a difference. Walking up to a woman and saying, “I’m filthy rich” is quite different from driving up to the same woman in a shiny new Ferrari and smiling at her. Show her you’re awesome, don’t tell her.

14.) You are a lover for all the right reasons. You don’t love your girl because of her body or how well she performs in the sack… you like her for who she actually is! That doesn’t mean you need to treat her like she’s gold, but treating her like a

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15.) You’re powerful, decisive, and you don’t take crap from anyone! You don’t tolerate bad behavior from anyone. And if anyone does something “wrong” you call him or her out on it and you make sure it doesn’t happen again. Being a pushover is not attractive, period.

16.) You’re an optimist – not a pessimist. You’re a “half cup full” type of person. Remember, your world is always a great place to be. People are happy to be around you. People aren’t going to be happy around if you are constantly bitching and complaining about how things never go your way. Not only will this make you more attractive, but it’s also proven that positive people are much more likely to be successful than people who are constantly down on themselves.

17.) You’re always comfortable to be around. You aren’t constantly stressed out about your life. You’re always cool, calm, and collected. Being stressed out will only make your girlfriend stressed out. This isn’t a good thing. You usually have a calm and relaxed demeanor about yourself. People effortlessly get along with you

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18.) You’re candid with women. You’re honest. Obviously, you don’t try and be someone you’re not and you stay truthful on all levels. Women can sense you’re faking it better than you can.

19.) You identify with women’s emotions. You know what she’s feeling and you know how to communicate with women on an emotional level effectively. Failure to know what a woman is feeling often leads to conflict.

20.) You are a man and you are strong, but you also have a sensitive side. Yes, for the most part you are a man that gets what he wants and is strong on every level – emotionally, intellectually, and physically - but sometimes you show some

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Remember the location of this chapter, because I’ll be referring back to it several times over the course of this book. It’s probably in your best interest to memorize this list, too, because it will only help you get your girlfriend back.

Although I know your only goal is to win her back, it never hurts to know how to be good with women in general. Because… who knows? Maybe once you get back with your ex, you’ll realize that she isn’t really for you and you’ll want to play the dating

game again. Whatever the case might be, knowing what women want in their ideal man will prove useful regardless of how things pan out in the long run.

Before I move on to unattractive characteristics, I first need to touch briefly on the science of attraction.

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Oxytocin: Your Secret Weapon

Attraction is not something that humans have any control over. It’s a

subconscious emotion that is caused by changes in the brain’s hormonal balance. Specifically, attraction is a result of a hormone called “oxytocin”.

Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” is a chemical secreted in the hypothalamus (of both men and women). Scientists have proven that the more

oxytocin a person’s brain is producing, the more attracted they become to a member of the opposite sex. So, when you display the attractive characteristics outlined in this chapter, you’ll be helping to stimulate the production of oxytocin in your ex’s brain… and, because it’s an uncontrollable hormonal change that she is powerless to stop, it works no matter how much she may think that getting back together is a terrible idea.

The bottom line on oxytocin is simple: if you demonstrate the “attractive characteristics” I discuss in this book successfully (and avoid displaying the negative traits that kill attraction), your ex’s brain will produce oxytocin and she’ll find it harder and harder to resist your advances.

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Chapter 3

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Chapter 3: Unattractive Characteristics

Women leave their boyfriends and husbands because the attraction disappears, and there are several key reasons why attraction fades.

I guarantee you that the reason your

relationship ended was because you showed at least one of these fatal characteristics (which I’ll list

below). These are things that repel women.

All of these traits, not surprisingly, are caused primarily by insecurity. These are what I like to call The Six Deadly Sins in a relationship.

1.) Being way too controlling. Women hate it when their man puts weird and unrealistic restraints on their lives. This means he won’t let her talk to other guys or even hang out with her friends. The root cause of this behavior is fear – fear of losing his girlfriend or fear that she will find a better man. Sometimes the more controlling a man can get over his girlfriend, the less control he’ll

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2.) Having low self-esteem. Always being down and depressed is very unattractive. A lot of men are self-demeaning in a humorous manner, but if self-esteem is a serious issue, then don’t be surprised that your girlfriend left you. If you think your self-esteem problem runs deeper than most, it might the time to go the doctor – depression is the type of thing that could very well be something that’s beyond your control.

3.) Being “clingy” or always needing

attention. If you think your lady likes it when you constantly call her/text her/message her… then you’re wrong. Space is extremely important in

creating attraction. I mean, chances are you’ve probably been on the other

side of the coin – haven’t you ever had a girl constantly barrage you with text messages and phone calls? Were you attracted to this girl? Chances are, you

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 39 probably weren’t. High value men never need human interaction because they receive an abundance of it from a variety of people every day. So don’t tell her you love her too much… tell her only when she deserves it.

4.) Being jealous all the time. Maybe you really don’t like how she’s hanging out with her friends… or maybe one of her guy co-workers is getting to you. If you let this genuinely get to you, you are communicating to your girlfriend in an indirect way that she has more value than you. Jealousy is the ultimate form of insecurity.

If you’re the jealous type (and unfortunately, sometimes you can’t control these emotions) then force yourself to make it seem that you aren’t jealous. You need to take on the attitude that “other men are completely harmless because you are higher value than all of them.” Most of the time, if you were good enough to attract your girlfriend in the first place, this will be true… so you really have nothing to worry about. 99% of the time, jealousy is completely unjustified. There’s a great quote about relationships in the movie ‘40 Year Old Virgin’:

“Don’t put the pussy on the pedestal.” In other words, don’t make your girlfriend your whole entire life. Make it so that you have other things you care about

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5.) Seeking external validation. Powerful, desirable men never seek validation from others. They live life on their own terms and they don’t care what others think of them. This is incredibly attractive. The complete opposite, however, isn’t.

Maybe you’ve asked your girlfriend things like, “Do you really love me? How much? Do you think I’m lean/muscular enough? Is my penis big enough for you? Did you have a good time with me?”

By asking these questions to your girlfriend, you are simply sub-communicating to her that you’re not sure if you’re good enough for her (otherwise you wouldn’t be asking these questions in the first place). You’re going to have to live with the fact that you’re not perfect – nobody is. The attractive thing to do is to just simply accept who you are and be comfortable in your own skin.

6.) Cheating. I hope I don’t have to really explain why this is an incredibly

unattractive trait for a man to have. Have you ever been cheated on? If you have, then I’m very sorry. It is indeed a terrible feeling… and it’s a feeling that you

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 41 time. But quite often, the reason women cheat is because their partner or spouse was demonstrating one or more of these Six Deadly Sins that I’ve just talked about – that is, being clingy, having low self-esteem, being jealous, being

controlling, seeking external validation, and being unfaithful. It’s either that, or you simply haven’t exhibited enough of the attractive qualities mentioned earlier in this book.

This list of unattractive qualities is certainly not exhaustive.

Sometimes, constant disagreements can be the root of the problem. This is a common killer of relationships. Most arguments that ultimately kill

relationships relate to appreciation, or

the lack of it. Women need to feel appreciated by their men. When the feeling of appreciation dissipates, this will lead to conflict and argument.

Regardless of the reasons that led to fading attraction, the effects are always the same: your girlfriend will feel less attracted to you and thus, she’ll start to care less.

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 42 Remember these words: “The person that cares least in the relationship has the most control.” Right now, I am guessing that your girlfriend broke up with you against your own will. And as of right now, she has all the power… because she cares less than you do.

Do you remember when your relationship with her first started? Everything was probably really awesome, wasn’t it? You were confident, flirtatious, funny, and most likely, very attractive. You didn’t have the chance to show your insecurities because everything was new. You knew she was into you and you were happy with yourself.

Over time, things began to change. Maybe you caught her having a really good “conversation” with one of her best guy friends. Or maybe one of her guy friends keeps contacting her. You started to worry, so you started breaking down and acting like a wuss. You started committing at least one of the Six Deadly Sins and she began to lose interest in you. Because she lost attraction for you, she began to care less about you. And thus, the “balance of power” began to shift in her favor.

We need to work on shifting the balance of power, and this is what the next few chapters will concentrate on.

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Featured Customer Coaching Question

Real Email Exchanges From Past Customers (Names Changed For Privacy)

“Have I Already Made Too Many Mistakes?”

Question Sent By: Christie L.

“Hi Brad, I've read your ebook multiple times - I feel I have done so much damage that I really have no hope of getting my ex back - he has raised my 2 year old since he was 6 months and I am now 4 months along with his child, but he wants nothing to do with us - I've tried endless to talk to him, not even get back together talk but just to involve him with appointments and not and he still just tells me to fuck off and that he hates me because I make him look stupid because I texted another guy - and he uses this as his excuse as breaking up with me - he told me last night he would still have been with me, if I didn't text another guy (someone I don't even know - I just invited him over while I was fighting with my ex although he never came over and I never spoke to the person again) and that I've taken his family from him.

He's spends all his time chasing his best friend (female) around because her husband is in the marines and over in Afghanistan - And she tells him not be with me, He's dumps all over me and my kids and puts her kids above mine - it's not normal to me and I find it hard to deal with. My question is, How do you know when there's too much damage to fix it anymore.

He's using the excuse of me talking to randoms as the excuse for leaving me, how is me posting photos of me with random guys going to make him want me back, when that's why he says he left in the first place.

Thanks Brad!! Christie L.”

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“Take His Words With A Grain of Salt…”

Brad Browning’s Reply To Question From Christie L. “Hi Christie,

What you need to realize first is that the reason he left you isn't because of you texting random guys. It's because your attraction level with him in the first place just isn't high enough. The texting incident is just a lame and pathetic excuse for him to leave (but don't tell him this directly, of course).

Obviously, what you need to be doing right now is not contact him for now. You need to take care of yourself and spend time with your child. When are you due?

You need to show how much fun you are having with your family and ignore him for now. Yes, you need to stop looking like you're dating multiple guys, but at the same time, you need to show the world that you're happy. That means spending time with your girlfriends, going out, and making it seem like to him that he's missing out.

Eventually, he is going to want to see his child and tend to his mother -- that’s the decent thing to do. Once this happens, we will work on patching things up with him permanently. But if he doesn’t even want to attempt to take care of his child, then cutting him loose is probably the best option anyways.

Hope that helps! -Brad B.”

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Chapter 4

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Chapter 4: Panic & Acceptance

Okay. So you’re probably still quite fresh off your breakup, and you’re

emotionally broken. I know what you really want to do… you want to call her up and talk. You want to send her an e-mail or Facebook message explaining how much you miss her and how much you’re willing to fix things. You want to get on your phone and send her a million text messages letting her know how you feel. Does this sound about accurate?

I know the feeling. You’re panicking. And this is perfectly normal for you to feel this way, but acting on your current emotions right now is definitely not the best way to get back with your ex-girlfriend. By acting on these emotions, you’re basically telling her that you’re desperate. Desperation and insecurity are, as we have concluded, very negative and unattractive traits. So bear with me – if you want your ex-girlfriend back, don’t do anything yet.

But what is panic? Why are you feeling this way? I know you aren’t typically like this. In fact, you’re probably a very rational and understanding person under normal circumstances, but panic and desperation can cause even the most rational person to

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immediate loss of something is valuable to you.

Think about a quarterback in a football game for a minute. The

quarterback has to make a decision on what to do with the ball before the defensive lineman tries to tackle him. As the defensive player attempts to break through the quarterback’s offensive linemen, the quarterback is losing time and space. If he’s a bad quarterback, he’ll wait until the very last moment, panic, and do something stupid with the ball. A good quarterback, on the other hand, is calmer, cooler, and is therefore much more likely to do something rational with the football.

Sometimes people panic because they are thrown into a completely different situation. Even if, logically, your girlfriend wasn’t exactly right for you… at least you were accustomed to having her around. You were familiar with her, and familiarity is something humans like. This sort of change is enough to induce panic in most men, especially if they’ve been with their girlfriend for a long period of time.

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 48 So before you make things better, you need to focus on yourself and lessen the amount of desperation you’re feeling. Only then will you be able to think rationally and win your girlfriend back.

In essence, what you need to do right now is accept the current situation. It obviously isn’t to your liking, but the breakup happened. As of this moment, there is absolutely nothing you can do or say to get her back right now. (Don’t worry, we’re getting there.)

Trust me, you don’t want to go down the other, dangerous path. I’ve attempted to help many men that fail because they fail to accept the situation, and they start doing the complete opposite of what I say. They’ll start lying to their ex about certain

situations. They’ll begin to stalk their ex… not only physically, but via the internet, too. They will begin to send hurtful and sometimes hateful messages to their ex-girlfriends, which only augment the problem. Sometimes, they’ll even seek revenge and attempt to sleep with their ex-girlfriend’s friends (which, surprise, surprise, doesn’t work at all).

All I’m saying is this: I know there are a lot of negative emotions you’re feeling right now, and it’s completely normal. It’s how you handle these emotions that define

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Don’t Pressure Her

Pressuring your ex to get back together with you will just be the nail in the coffin.

I remember when I used sell suits at a men’s clothing store (way back in the day…). At the time, I had absolutely no idea how to

sell anything. I had no idea why they even hired me. On my very first day, I went up to my first prospective customer and I laid down the law of the land – “Buy now and get the second suit half off! Sale ends tomorrow! Buy now or you’ll definitely regret it! This suit looks GREAT on you!”

Whoa.

I’m not exactly sure why my manager didn’t fire me right then and there. Maybe because she just felt sorry for me! Needless to say, I didn’t sell a single bloody suit my

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After a few more encounters with customers, I sold my first suit using the

weirdest technique ever: I stopped trying. Okay, don’t take that too literally… I did still try and sell suits, but I made it appear like it didn’t matter if they bought the suit or not. Instead, I just simply talked about how our suits compared with suits from other stores. I talked about what type of things to look for when buying a new suit. I just talked about useful information, and everything else just fell into place. I became the best suit salesman in the universe (well, no, but I was the best suit salesman at my store at least…).

If you ever feel the temptation to try and contact your ex and pressure her into getting back together with you, stop and tell yourself, “If I really want to get back with my girlfriend, then I’ll listen to Brad Browning. He knows what to do!”

Here’s the unfortunate truth: you cannot talk your ex into giving your

relationship another try. And, if you attempt to do so, you’ll almost certainly make matters much worse.

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Some Good News

Like I said, there is a silver lining amidst the panic and depression. Chances are, your ex probably still wants you back in her arms.

It’s true.

I mean, think about it logically for a second. You two have history… and despite whatever happened between you two, you will both still have those great memories and stories you experienced together. You have a ton of inside jokes that you’ve both shared. You both have had some sexual history as well (at least I hope so).

The bottom of the line is that at some point in your life, you were both quite attracted to each other. You see, human beings are, for the most part, creatures of habit. You probably wake up every morning with the exact same routine… and throwing a wrench in your morning routine is probably unthinkable at this point. This is the exact same thing that your girlfriend has shared with you! You are extremely comfortable with one another. In fact, she is probably more familiar with you than any other guy right now. You have an advantage over the competition.

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Chapter 5

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Chapter 5: Start With ‘No Contact’

From reading the first few chapters, you probably deduced that this was the first step to getting your ex girlfriend back.

Yes… the dreaded ‘no contact’ phase, or what I like to call, the Rekindling Period. This is where the battle is won or lost, my friend. Of the men that have failed under my guidance, I would guess that at least 80% of them failed because they didn’t do this part properly. It is absolutely crucial that you understand this.

It is imperative that you do not initiate contact your ex girlfriend for at least one month. There is no exception to this rule (unless she contacts you first, but more on this later). Delete her contact info from your phone right now so you won’t even feel

tempted to contact her.

There are scientific reasons why this will help you get your girlfriend back so it is important that you take this seriously (for a number of reasons). First and foremost, you’re probably not in the right state of mind to have a meaningful conversation with your ex girlfriend right now. Emotions are too strong. Giving yourself some time to recover emotionally will help you focus and handle things in a rational manner.

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 54 Not only will time help you heal, it will also give her some time to recover. Have you ever heard of the quote, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? By not

contacting your girlfriend, you give off the impression that you’ve moved on, which causes her experience a fear of loss.

Once you stop reaching out and trying to talk to her, she’ll wonder why. Right now, she’s probably annoyed at the amount of times you’ve tried to call her, but when that disappears, she’ll begin to think about you more… she’ll be thinking, I wonder what he’s doing right now. I wonder if he’s gotten over me. Does he still want to talk to me? I wonder if he’s already found somebody else…

Humans don’t usually know what they have until it’s gone. We take things for granted and it’s part of our nature. We can use this psychological tool to our advantage.

Trust me, your girlfriend is going through a lot of the same emotions and heartache that you’re experiencing right now. Breaking up is painful for both sides, regardless of who makes the initial decision to end things. And, like a drug addict going through withdrawal, your girlfriend may be tempted to take the easy way out, and put an end to her heartache and loneliness… by getting back together with you!

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 55 By not contacting your girlfriend, you’ll also be doing yourself a favor, as it will prevent you from acting like a complete jackass around your girlfriend. Remember how I said that women are really good at picking up non-verbal communication? Like they have a sixth sense? Unless you’re an actor with talent to rival Leonardo DiCaprio, you don’t want to risk

sub-communicating negative

characteristics around her (and you will).

Finally, by not contacting your girlfriend, you’ll have ample time to read my e-book and complete my course… so you’ll know exactly what you’ll need to do to get your girlfriend back.

So, what I want you to do right now is take out your planner or agenda. Find the date that is exactly 31 days from now, and circle it. Call it Contact Day. You will not contact your ex girlfriend until this day.

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Why 31 Days?

Studies have proven why this 31-day mark is crucial. After about 3 weeks, your brain begins to reset itself on an emotional level. Now, I won’t say you’ll stop missing your ex completely after 3 weeks of no contact, but this is when your emotional side begins tame a little and you begin to start thinking more rationally (how you normally would think and act).

Secondly, and most importantly, studies have shown that women begin to start missing their boyfriends/husbands intensely after about three weeks of no contact. You need to use this psychological tool as a weapon here. Chances are after about three weeks (and sometimes even less), your ex will contact you on her own discretion, wanting to get back with you! I’ve seen this happen way too many times to count.

Often, women use their ex boyfriends to help them get over their own breakup! But by removing yourself from her reality completely, you are forcing her to heal herself

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help her or be her emotional crutch. She’ll be forced to learn the hard way what her life will be like when you’re not around. This is what you want. If you know your girlfriend is the needy type, you can use this to your advantage.

Marking this date will also give you a visual goal to work towards as well. Combined with the rest of the material I’ve included in my program, you’ll be able to better cope with the pain during the No Contact period. And doesn’t it give you a sense of reassurance knowing that you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to?

“But I Can’t Wait That Long!”

Yes, I know. 31 days seems like a very long time, and for the first few days it will crawl by, but only if you let it! Yes, there are things you can do

If your breakup was a result of infidelity – whether it was a

full-blown affair or just a few flirty texts – it’s critical that you make it clear to your ex that you’re sorry for cheating, and that you regret your actions deeply. You need to do this before you begin the 31 days of “No Contact”. You only need to issue this apology once, but it should be heartfelt and genuine. Your ex needs to know that you sincerely regret your actions, and that you’ve truly learned a painful lesson. Again, sincerity is key here… once you’ve issued a heartfelt apology, it’s time to leave your ex alone for 31 days.

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First, you need to start removing reminders of her. Go grab a piece of paper right now and write down her contact information. Delete her contact from your phone and hide the piece of paper where you know you won’t be able to see it.

Second, delete every memory and mode of contact that you have with her. Delete her Skype contact, MSN contact, and be sure to delete all her e-mails (if you feel sentimental about these, make these messages difficult for you to access…save them in a folder and make the folder difficult to get to).

The only exception to this is deleting her from Facebook (or any other social

networking website where she knows she was deleted). But under no circumstance will you view her profile. You don’t want to see who’s writing on her wall or what she’s saying during this period. Facebook stalking won’t make you feel good about yourself, period. (To ensure that you don’t see her status updates in your Facebook timeline, click on one of her old posts or status updates and choose “don’t show this person’s updates in my Facebook feed”.)

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 59 Next, gather all your physical items that remind you of her. That means stuffed animals, clothes, presents, and pictures. Gather everything and put it into a box and store it in a place that is a major pain in the ass to get to. Lock it up in the basement, hide it in your mom’s garage, or ask a friend to keep it for you… anything to get it out of sight.

After, I want you to start fantasizing about other women and concentrate only on your ex-girlfriend’s negative side. Under no circumstance should you be fantasizing about your ex in any way. If you catch yourself thinking about your ex sexually, visualize having sex with other, even more beautiful women (ahem… the internet really helps in this department if you’re lacking inspiration…).

As much as possible, just try not to think about your ex in any way. After this is complete, you need to now concentrating on taking your life back.

What If I’ve Done Too Much Begging and Pleading Already?

The natural thing to do after a breakup is to beg and plead for forgiveness. If you’ve been paying attention to what I’ve been teaching you so far, you know that this will only make matters worse.

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“Hey! I know this is a bit random, but I just wanted to say thanks for all the great times we spent together. I’ve learned a lot from our relationship, and I’m moving on. I hope we can still be friends down the road, though. Anyway, hope all is well with you. :-)”

If you feel that this is the case for you, then I present to you my Clean Slate Email template. Send this e-mail right before you engage in No Contact. Doing so will undo most of the damage that you think you’ve done since the breakup. If you’ve been in recent contact with your ex, then wait seven days before sending this Clean Slate Email.

Regardless of whether your ex writes a response to this email or not, you should engage in No Contact directly after sending this. There are no exceptions. Resist any temptation to engage in a conversation with your ex at this point.

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What If You Broke Up A While Ago?

If you broke up with your ex a long time ago (more than a few months), then you have to assess how your ex might be feeling right now. Do you think their emotions have reset to a neutral state? A lot of people e-mail me saying, “It’s been over a year now… are my chances blown out the window?” Well, it depends. Most of the time, however, chances are you have a better chance the longer you wait without contact with your ex.

However, if you’ve been pestering your ex and constantly for several years, then chances are you’ve probably pushed your ex far too much away and, only at that point would I advise to move on. However, if you think your ex would be open to a line of communication, then read on… but do not contact your ex until you’ve thoroughly read everything in this book!

What If Your Ex Lives In Another City?

Now, there’s a possibility that you broke up with your ex and they’ve moved somewhere else, far away.

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 62 First of all, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. After all, if they’ve moved far away, it gives yourself some space to move on from him or her and to concentrate on yourself (more on this later).

However, I’m not going to sugar coat things... chances are, if your ex has moved far, far away, then it’s going to be extremely difficult to develop the kind of attraction that is needed for her to want you back.

If your ex is living somewhere very far away, you’ll either have to come up with a good excuse to visit them and then ask them out for a “date”. You can’t visit her

without a very legitimate reason for being there, and you’ll definitely need to establish some rapport and get her thinking about you again before you even consider going to see her in person.

Because long distance re-attraction can be complicated business, you may want to consider signing up for my personal coaching service if you are in this situation.

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Featured Customer Coaching Question

Real Email Exchanges From Past Customers (Names Changed For Privacy)

“My Ex Lives Far, Far Away…”

Question Sent By: Kathryn J. “Hey Brad!

I had a long distance relationship (2 hour flight away) for two years with Chad. He is 24 and I'm 28. We visited each other back and forth every few weeks for weeks at a time. In August he came here to interview for jobs so he could move here to be with me but he didn't get any of the jobs he interviewed for. I went to visit him in September for two weeks and he was acting distant and kind of cold. When I got back home he broke up with me 2 weeks later in September saying he lost feelings for me. I'm pretty sure our major issue was communication and my insecurities in the relationship.

I did No Contact for 30 days and we started speaking again in the middle of October. He kept asking me if I was dating a guy from work he saw me check in places with on facebook and seemed jealous. He flirted with me a lot, we even chatted on webcam. Then we began to chat almost daily again but short chats, not all day, everyday like it used to be. He initiated and sent me a lot of sexual links.

His best friends girlfriend invited me to a new years party so I decided to go. The second I mentioned visiting his hometown for new years he became completely platonic towards me. He avoided going to the same new years party as me that week but we ended up hanging out 3 out of the 5 days I was there. He took me out to see a holiday light show, dinner, and I spent an entire day at his house watching movies. He made me lunch and we even hung out with him and his dad for awhile. He picked me up and dropped me off at the airport too.

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©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 64 We had a talk about things and I was completely honest with him about still having feelings for him but I said I'd never push him to change his mind. He said he doesn't have feelings for me anymore, that I care too much, and that I need to move on, but we can be friends. He said I will see him again and we will be able to hangout again in the future.

Since I got back home we talk on an instant messenger every so often. Lately it's been once or twice or week. Not very long chats either. He rarely ever initiates, sometimes he ignores me if I send him funny links or try to chat.

I have really made an effort to change and rid myself of the insecurities I had while in the relationship. I've been working out, changed jobs, made new friends, gotten a social life,

planned a trip to Japan. All of which he has seen on facebook and he seemed quite interested at first when we weren't speaking. He didn't try to contact me at all during the 30 day no contact period. I had so many new things to tell him about my life when I visited two weeks ago. He barely had much to say because not much has changed for him. He still hasn't found a job in engineering that he has been looking for.

I'm not sure what to do anymore. We spoke a bit yesterday and he sent me a silly link but I don't feel that I have his interest. He's not near the computer as much as he used to be either. He used to be around to speak with me all the time. I don't know how to go about this or regain his interest in me. Our major form of communication is instant messenger. He doesn't have texting on his phone. Some advice I have heard is to back off and not initiate any form of contact with him unless he does to show I don't care so much. I'm not sure if that's the right or wrong way to go about things.

How should I go about this? I know I need to re-attract him and rebuild an emotional connection but I'm unsure of the best way to go about it.

Thanks so much Brad! -Kathryn J.”

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“Relax And Adjust The Strategy…”

Brad Browning’s Reply To Question From Kathryn J. “Hi there Kathryn!

You've got to continue with the no contact. No more instant messaging -- turn it off. I know it's difficult because you don't want to let him go (even as a friend), but you have to accept the fact that if you want him back, you have to let him go.

I would almost recommend uninstalling instant messengers.

To be honest, I really hate communicating by instant messenger, because the real life

interactions never live up to the "hype". Someone is always let down and it's just not an organic way to hold a relationship. Indeed, long distance relationships are hard, but there are better ways to communicate.

You need to just give some time for yourself to heal and to move on. Where are you going to in Japan? I've always wanted to go. Where are you working now? Have you been dating anyone else?

By now, you’ve probably realized the errors that you’ve made while you were in a relationship with him. Clearly, you displayed and conveyed far too much interest. Remember that early in a relationship, you have to take things slow and remain “mysterious” -- this is how you can keep your man interested.

So your plan for now is to remain in no contact. Don’t sign in for a very long time (and he will notice this). Don’t be surprised if he tries to contact you via e-mail in a few weeks wondering where you’ve been. Once this happens, we can plan something then!

Best of luck! -Brad B.”

Ex Factor Guide 4

T

HE

E

X

F

ACTOR

G

UIDE

The Comprehensive Guide To Getting Your Ex Back

Legal Reminders

Important Disclaimers

Table of Contents

Prologue

Prologue: The Big Picture

Wait… What’s Your REAL Goal?

The Science Of Being Happy

The Bottom Line

Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Introduction

Forget About What You Think You Know

I’m Rooting For You

I’m Here To Help If You Need It

The Real Reason You’re Alone

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Attractive Characteristics

Oxytocin: Your Secret Weapon

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Unattractive Characteristics

Featured Customer Coaching Question

“Have I Already Made Too Many Mistakes?”

“Take His Words With A Grain of Salt…”

Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Panic & Acceptance

Don’t Pressure Her

Some Good News

Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Start With ‘No Contact’

Why 31 Days?

“But I Can’t Wait That Long!”

What If I’ve Done Too Much Begging and Pleading Already?

What If You Broke Up A While Ago?

What If Your Ex Lives In Another City?

Featured Customer Coaching Question

“My Ex Lives Far, Far Away…”

“Relax And Adjust The Strategy…”