As you talk, be aware of what you are both doing. Your bodies are also carrying on a conversation. For example, here's an exercise you can carry out as you're talking... Reach up and scratch your ear very briefly. Watch her closely. Chances are that her ear will suddenly develop an itch and she will subconsciously reach up to scratch it. She is mirroring you. This is good. You are beginning to build rapport.
When people are around other people they like, they start developing the same posture, the same mannerisms, even their breathing and heart rates will start to match. They will cross their arms or fidget in unison. Two people can mirror excitement, sadness, sexual tension, and even put themselves into a trance.
Any emotional state that you feel can be felt by the other person
– and vice versa.
If one of you says something funny (which could be most anything at this point because she's probably feeling a wee bit of tension and really wants to laugh to release it), you might wish to let your hand brush her lightly somewhere innocent, like near her elbow. Don't make it too obvious or contrived, just touch her gently - if and whenever the opportunity presents itself. If all goes well, she will be looking for opportunities to touch you also,
because she is mirroring you, remember? If she touches you first, fine. You're mirroring her. You know what to do.
Touch is magic. Remember that her brain responds to feelings. If you touch her, she's going to feel you. That's a deep connection. It also breaks down and closes the invisible space barrier between you. This space barrier varies by culture, but we keep strangers at a further distance from our bodies than we keep friends. As this distance diminishes (as long as she isn't backing away to maintain it), it is a sign that she is comfortable being this close to you. It is a signal of trust.
Touching her lips is very erotic and will quickly ratchet up the sexual tension. If you are in a slightly intimate setting, just quietly reach over and brush your fingers across her lips - while
watching her eyes. Often they will fully dilate – almost instantly.
This will usually turn her on and she will quickly be touching you.
If you notice that she isn't mirroring you, and particularly if her body and/or feet are pointing away from you, you're not getting very far. It might be best if you looked at your watch and discovered you were late to a social engagement.
In fact you might want to look at your watch even if things are going well. Remember you aren't pursuing her. This is just an introduction and a chance for her to start desiring you. If you want her to pursue you (which I assume you do), you can't be too easy. That's a beta male trait.
Turn the tables and make her work for your affection and attention. If she likes you, she will. You are an important person, a high status alpha male. You have a life, with things to do and places to be - and this is what makes you interesting. Don't disrupt your entire schedule for her. If she wants to be part of your life, she will have to disrupt her schedule to be with you.
But you also want her to know that you aren't blowing her off. “Wow, I really enjoyed talking to you. Do you have an email address? I'd like to continue this conversation.” If everything went well she'll gladly hand you her email address. This is a lot better
than a phone number, which she might be reluctant to give out.
Take it and leave. She'll be checking her email every thirty seconds until you contact her again.
You shouldn't contact her for at least 24 hours. Give her a chance to want you, and don't be too quick to satisfy. When you do, make sure she knows that you have many things to do, but you'd like to try and fit in some time with her in your busy schedule. Suggest coffee - or maybe she'd like to go grocery shopping with you.
Expensive dinners for a first date are beta male behaviour.
The process of dating is to bring somebody into your life. The best way to do that is to get her involved in what you are doing in your life on an ordinary day, like today. And anyway, you aren't really dating. You're just getting together to talk, be with each other for a little while (and maybe find another opportunity or two to touch a little bit, but don't tell her this). Pick up some spare ribs for dinner. Talk, laugh, touch a little bit more.
Now watch what happens as a result. You're just living your life, and this girl is suddenly right in the middle of it, because she is enjoying being with you. She likes you. It hasn't cost you anything at all. You haven't made a fool of yourself. You haven't
said anything overtly sexual or propositioned her after a $200 Italian dinner, and the next thing you know she's grabbing your arm in the aisle of the supermarket and laughing at your jokes about eggplant – all because she's comfortable being around you. In short, she's acting like she's your girlfriend and has known you for years - on the first date. Isn't that great?
At some point you'll probably decide to get together again some time, or maybe you can invite her over for those spare ribs you bought. That's fine. Enjoy. Invite her along to do some other stuff. You're going hiking on the weekend with friends and she's welcome to come along.