Now let's get back to that thing about the female being the one who decides on which person to mate with. And recall that most males are going to hit on every attractive female they meet.
This causes problems for an attractive female. They have lots of choices. They are getting hit on relentlessly, often hundreds of times a day, by hundreds of men.
Have a look around. If you see a pretty girl, there's a good chance that there's a guy lurking about nearby trying to make small talk and/or hit on her. In an office setting, you can see guys come and go to her desk all day long – all taking their chances, pretending to chit-chat while attempting to build rapport and make their moves. If an attractive woman publishes her photo on a social internet site, she can be literally overwhelmed with email from guys wanting to be her friend. How is she supposed to
make a choice given all the available possibilities?
The female brain has evolved a solution for that problem as well. It's called the ”test”. This is where she finds out if you're a man or a wimp. Wimps need not apply. Males of obviously low status are most often simply ignored – as there are far too many of them for her to respond to and reject individually. A handful of potential suitors will get past this initial “ignore” filter and make it to the test.
The first part of the test is the initial body language
screening I alluded to earlier. This puts men into mental buckets of sexually desirable, interesting, possible friend, and loser/jerk.
The vast majority of men that pursue her will never be seen as sexually desirable and get past this point – doomed to the “friend zone” (or worse) for eternity.
The next thing she is going to do is to challenge the male in various ways to reinforce the category she has chosen, and to weed out those that were possibly manipulative and managed to give off signals which put them into the wrong category. The test is usually designed to pick out those who seem confident and aggressive initially, but then turn out to be beta males who are merely imitating alpha male behaviour in order to have sex.
Most of the time, she's really looking for an alpha male, except for the couple of days a month when the hot hunk with the perfect body [e.g. the genetically superior male] can sway her attention. He won't usually be tested thoroughly because physical genetic traits are difficult to counterfeit. The extremely clever male who uses cleverness as his sole approach will be tested brutally to see how well his cleverness holds up under pressure.
The test itself is usually a series of questions or scenarios, or subtle clues she's thrown out to see if you picked them up. A popular example is “How many women have you slept
with/dated?” If your answer is too low, she believes that you're a male of low status and will decide that you aren't worth her time.
If it's too high, she'll think you're just a “player” and not worth her emotional risk. You are tasked with diffusing this question
(possibly by lying) to make it appear that you are highly experienced but not easy.
This is merely a variation of the cliché “Does this dress make me look fat?” You have to answer, you may even have to lie (but she'll know it) - so the best you can do is answer with dignity and grace and hope for the best.
For the “how many” test, If you're over 25, the best answer
is that you've had somewhere between 5 and 8 relationships.
Leave it at that. Don't mention anything that lasted less than six months. If you're a virgin, quickly ask how many guys she's slept with – and only say that she's slept with more people than you, while smiling. Hopefully this will diffuse the subject.
There are hundreds of test questions/scenarios and I can't give you all the answers. You might be asked if you've ever had a threesome or think her sister is cute, or what you think of saving baby whales or even how much you drink. She might ask if you actually remembered her name which she told you just minutes ago. She might ask about your favourite dish-washing detergent, just to find out if you've ever taken full responsibility for washing dishes. She might ask who provided your last haircut, to
determine if it was professionally cut or if you did it in a mirror to save money.
Often only she knows the “right” answers that are going to save your ass. You can only guess and pray. She is going to try and throw you a complete surprise to see how you react under pressure, and also to try and weed out anybody that reminds her of some male that let her down in the past. The correct answer is usually one which emphasises that you are stable and mature
and don't try to shag every girl you meet; and also that you are a high status male and she is lucky to be talking to you, as you have plenty of other opportunities.
Just stay calm and do the best you can. If it was easy, any guy could say a few words and have sex with her. You need to prove you're the man that deserves her above all the others.
Begging, pleading, getting flustered or upset, licking your lips, or starting to unzip your trousers generally means you've failed the test.
Now here's another fact that you need to know about the female brain. Unlike the male brain which is deeply rooted in logic, the female brain is rooted in feelings and emotions. Not everything a woman does will seem logical. I know some of you will say that nothing a woman does is logical, and you're probably not far from the truth.
But let's look at this from the viewpoint of attraction. For a woman to be attracted to a particular man, she needs to feel a deep connection to him. This is an emotional response. If she doesn't feel it, nothing is going to happen, and there's nothing a male can do to change it. You can buy her flowers, you can buy her a new car, you can pledge your eternal love for her, but you
aren't going to have sex with her. Period. You're trying to appeal to her sense of logic, (thinking she'll choose you as a good provider), but this simply isn't how her brain works.
Now that I've segued into buying flowers, let's talk about what turns women off. Remember that most of the time they are looking for the powerful male, the confident leader, the alpha male. How does an alpha male act around women? It's pretty simple. The alpha male is being pursued even more than the hot dude with the perfect genes, because he's the guy who's going to stick around and raise the kids. The alpha male does not chase women. He doesn't need to – as he is surrounded by sexual opportunities.
Got it? Any guy who buys flowers, buys dinner, pledges his eternal love, etc. on or before the first date is clearly not an alpha male. (Buy her dinner or flowers to reward her behaviour - after you've had sex.)
This is the “standard” dating process that most men have relied on for about the last hundred years, and it doesn't work.
The standard dating process usually only results in mating when the female is either low status herself and cannot attract an alpha male to mate with, or she has been rejected by the alpha males
in her life (perhaps due to psychological damage, excessive nagging, etc.) and succumbs to desperation.
The approval-seeking behaviours of the “standard” dating process are definitive signals that this is a beta (low status) male, and this person will either end up as just a friend or a loser to any woman of value (e.g. one that is able to mate with alpha males). Losers go into the loser “bucket” and are dismissed outright. Women occasionally keep friends around because they know that these men will keep buying them stuff, sometimes for years - hoping for sex in return. They're usually nice guys and all, and the girls are usually polite and nice to them, but they just don't make the girl feel attraction. Sound familiar?
The problem is that they can keep buying stuff until all their credit cards are maxed out, but they aren't going to get laid. They aren't on the “sexually interesting” list. Who can say no to
somebody buying them stuff? I wouldn't. Would you? No matter how nice they are, women feel nothing but disdain for these guys because they feel the men are trying to buy sex. Women who trade sex for money are called “whores”. It is not a term that any woman wears as a badge of honour and she will go out of her way to eliminate the perception that her body and/or affections
can be bought. So they take the gifts and never reciprocate – although they might offer a smile or wink on occasion to keep the cash cow flowing. But make no mistake about it, “just a friend”
means that you aren't fuckable.
Here's another reason not to shower her with gifts... By trying to sell yourself to her, and giving her stuff to convince her to accept – you are in essence paying her to buy into your goods (or perhaps services if you prefer). The result of this act is that your overall value is perceived as less than zero.
If I was to sell you something, and tell you that not only don't you have to pay anything for it, but I'll pay you to take it - would you? No way! The first thing you would think is that if this thing is so shoddy that I have to pay people to take it, it's less than worthless – likely to be nothing but trouble, and you'll ultimately have to pay somebody else to get rid of it. Women are consummate shoppers and understand this concept clearly.
Let's figure out what factors (besides your skill or lack of it) might prevent you from getting the girl. These are the top
universal “blockers” which could completely prevent a relationship from developing.
1. If she feels insecure about her looks or body – which isn't
your fault but her insecurity could spoil your chances.
2. If she does not trust you or believe that you will stick around after sex
3. Fear of pregnancy and/or disease
You can address all of these concerns – and if they
become issues you will need to. First, never comment negatively about her body if you ever want to have sex with her. You can comment negatively about her fashion or her choice of friends or most anything else – even her haircut is open to ridicule, but her body is always sexy. If it isn't - you shouldn't be trying to have sex with her.
If you have no desire to stick around after you shag her, if she's just a one night stand in your eyes - tell her so. Be honest.
She may not want to play, but at least if she does she'll know the rules. People may not always agree with brutal honesty, but they always respect it. You might in fact be surprised at her reaction.
She might be relieved that you aren't interested in a long-term relationship and all the life complications and misery that might involve.
Always be prepared to wear a condom to alleviate the
pregnancy and disease concern. She may wish to feel you “skin-to-skin” and damn the torpedoes - but if you aren't prepared, the only thing you're going to feel tonight is your hand spanking the monkey.
Another thing that is going to land a male in the loser bucket is if he is not paying attention at all to her body language and approaches with the intent of mating before she has
indicated her selection of him as a potential mate, or if her appraisal was negative and he failed to notice (or interpret correctly) her obvious signals that quite clearly he is not, and will never be the chosen one.
An alpha male will know instinctively how to interpret these signals and will be watching for them. What else will the alpha male do to signal his leadership and superiority? I'm glad you asked. There is a huge behaviour difference between dominant males and subservient males. The first and foremost trait exhibited by the powerful male is self confidence, followed by self-esteem, and both of these contribute to self-worth. A bit of humour and teasing are quite common and have been mentioned by women as very desirable traits in their partners. Several
popular seduction guides are based primarily on making the girl
laugh - and although there is much more to it than that, you can't go wrong by knowing how to tickle their funny bone.
The alpha will never plead or beg – and in fact will act as if he could care less if a woman has sex with him. It's no big deal, as he knows that even if he doesn't have sex with her, there are many other opportunities open for him to explore. All of these traits are visible by the way they carry themselves – their body language.
A dominant male will also usually have resources (e.g.
money, power, status) and these will show in his appearance, grooming, and style. This is not to say that he adorns himself with obscene amounts of bling – which is a beta trait; but he may tend to dress in clothes or surround himself with adornments that are beyond the reach of your typical discount shopper.
A common criticism of women in general is that they tend to say one thing and do the exact opposite. Are they all
pathological liars? No – you just have to go back and remember how they think. This is the result of that emotional mindset, again based on feelings.
What women say is a result of their internal dialogue which is coming from the logical part of the brain. It is interesting, but
totally irrelevant to their actions. What they do ultimately shows how they feel, and therefore how they feel is the only thing that is important, because it is guiding their actions. She might tell you that she hates chocolate ice cream, at the same time she's eating a bucket of it. In fact she might actually hate it, but eating it gives her a good feeling – and so she will continue to eat it no matter what her logical brain says.
In her brain there is no conflict. Just because a course of action might be logical doesn't mean that it will control her behaviour. Always watch her actions if you want to know how she truly feels. She says she prefers sensitive men, but then has sex with guys that behave more like wild animals - all ego and power. Sure, it's logical for her to like sensitive men. It makes perfect sense. But wild men affect her feelings. That's what kicks the attraction trigger, and when she wants sex, she doesn't give one hoot about logic - she's looking for the guy that affects her feelings.
One more factor which many men overlook in their dealings with women is that the hunter-gatherer lifestyle also embedded a deep level of female camaraderie into her genetic make-up. The women stayed back at “camp” together while the
men went off hunting; mostly alone or in small packs. This carries through to the present. Women's relationship with their female peers is much more important than their relationship with the current male in her life. Keep this in mind whenever you think of merging a woman's life with your own – and even if your intent is just to do this for a short time. How you relate to her friends may be just as important as how you relate to her. Without their
approval, she will be hesitant to bring you into her life.
You can also make use of these friends of hers.
Remember - women talk. She might be the woman you're dating, but they are her network. Use it to your advantage. Think viral marketing. If you're the best guy she's ever known (and you soon will be), she is going to blab to all her friends. They in turn will blab to all of their friends. Soon you will be legendary and women far and wide will know about you and be curious to meet you. For this reason you must guard your reputation zealously. If you come across to a woman as a complete jerk – this news will also spread virally throughout her network.