A common situation which arises between women and men who lack self-esteem is that women treat these guys like shit. The men not only do nothing to stop it, they often encourage it by coming back for more (hoping of course that if they're a nice guy and don't complain too much that eventually they'll get laid).
Self-esteem is having respect for yourself. The woman in this case does not respect you. Why should she? You apparently don't respect yourself. You let her walk all over you, yet you smile or encourage her to do it even more. I've watched women in bars make a game out of this to humiliate men and get a laugh out of it with their girlfriends.
Whenever a woman treats you with less than basic
respect, you need to call her on it right then and there and tell her point blank that this is unacceptable. Only by respecting yourself
enough to demand it of others will you get it. This is self-esteem.
Once you allow somebody to publicly humiliate you, they will keep doing so. The end result is a broken man.
In my grade school we called such a man “pussy-whipped”. This results in the man displaying wimp or wussy behaviour, which women do not find attractive or flattering. They are often treating you poorly just to make you go away – and they can't understand why you didn't take the hint.
This does nothing for your social status and can sink you right to the bottom of the sex scale. If you've been a doormat or emotional tampon for a woman over a long period of time and she will not listen to your demand for respect (she may refuse to believe that you've suddenly acquired self-esteem), you may need to remove her from your close circle of friends. Unless you have the persistence to call her on it each and every occurrence, her continued pattern of unchecked humiliation will signal to other women that you are not worthy of respect.
You may have self-esteem issues which are the result of other factors. Low self-esteem has a cure and it often isn't
difficult. Self-esteem is a combination of confidence and a feeling of “well being”. We've discussed how to be confident already. The
feeling of well being is likewise the result of a collection of things that are inhibiting it, rather than something you can “grow” on its own. Take a close introspective look and figure out what it is that is making you feel psychologically “not well”, or “not perfect” or
“not whole”. Each of these things has a cause. It may take some time – and may even require professional assistance, but take each one, examine its cause and figure out how to remove the cause or neutralise it from affecting you in this way. Self hypnosis programs can often work wonders on esteem issues, but first you need to figure out what it is that is triggering the negative feelings in order to know what hypnosis materials or programs will be effective against it.
Dominate
The overall effect of male confidence and self-esteem is that males who carry themselves with these attitudes become naturally dominant (over time) over those who do not possess them. Men who lack confidence and self-esteem are naturally submissive in most activities and social situations, and will always subconsciously defer in the presence of a more powerful male – even if he isn't the alpha male of their tribe.
The net result is that you will move up the pecking order in your tribe and have at least a limited ability to direct the actions of others (tell them what to do). You will also differentiate yourself in the eyes of women from the weak and timid wimps, which make up a majority of the male population. These women will begin to see you as a dominant being – which means only one thing to a woman – a man. This has a biological impact on her. Her brain is already processing you as a potential contender.
Relax
The operative keyword in any interaction, and indeed for how you live your life, is to just relax. Don't worry about what may or may not happen, or when it happens. Nervousness and fear shows in your body language, and will make those around you nervous and frightened about being with you.
You've probably heard that a dog can sense fear and will react to it in certain ways (by being more aggressive). Then you shouldn't find it a big surprise that everybody can sense fear and they also react in certain ways (by either avoiding you or by exploiting the situation and intimidating you). Your body produces a fear odour and they can literally smell it.
Whenever you are concerned with the outcome of a particular situation, you are laying the groundwork for fear and stress – that things may not turn out the way you desire. If you are in a potentially romantic situation and are overly concerned with the outcome (whether or not she will like you, sleep with you, etc.), you will tend to escalate your stress level whenever
anything goes slightly wrong during the encounter. It often
happens during the “test”, where she is probing your reactions to various situations. If you react by feeling more stressed, it most always drives the woman away as she mirrors you and likewise becomes stressed. When humans are in a state of stress their instinctive reactions are to either fight or flee. By releasing yourself from responsibility or concern over the outcome, you release yourself from these negative states. I wish to focus your attention on the fact that her tendency to get stressed over the encounter and quickly flee is a direct result of your emotions.
You can turn all of this around by emotionally being in control of the situation while letting go of any personal stake in the outcome. You will get everything you desire in good time. Be the person that is perfectly calm and collected and appears to be in control even when crises are spinning like tornadoes all around
you. Others will soon flock to you in time of crisis because they will want to mirror your calmness, rather than mirroring the general panic of everybody else. They won't know exactly why they are drawn to you, except that being around you makes them feel good. This is exactly the same explanation that people give when asked how somebody falls in love. Ponder that thought for a moment.