When we started discussing body language, you may recall that a woman will have pretty much decided within a few seconds (some researchers claim it is under a second) whether or not she will ever choose to have sex with you. In this game there's no such thing as a bad hair day. You certainly don't want to miss out on the lady of your dreams because you were
wearing plaid shorts and loafers and didn't shower this morning, And trust me, you could meet her tomorrow. You could meet her this afternoon.
How you present yourself through body language is the most important thing you need to communicate in those precious few seconds that her brain is analysing you. But close behind that is your public presentation. This part is completely under your control. Together these make up your male display.
If you don't look sexy or at least somewhat attractive in her eyes, you're not going to get chosen. It's as simple as that. How
you present yourself, be it business or casual, is going to affect the outcome of all your relationships. You don't have to wear a tuxedo to a soccer match, but you should be neat, tidy, and well groomed – no matter the situation. Skip the chequered pants and the bow-tie, unless you're in the circus.
If you feel comfortable being stylish, push the envelope and wear interesting and novel attire. You will be more likely to be noticed and have an easier time convincing people that you are a leader (not a follower). Otherwise, strive for neat but comfortable.
The worst thing you can do is to wear something that makes you feel contrived or awkward because your discomfort will show.
Many dating guides will tell you that looks and style are irrelevant. I will agree – to a point. A man with power and
confidence can attract women with his shirt-tail hanging out and without shaving for a day or two; and in fact many ladies will tell you that they find this look quite sexy. The point I wish to make is that your appearance in the first few seconds of contact is
absolutely critical to your eventual relationship with a given person. Know what look you are projecting to the world and ensure that it is a look that represents you in a flattering way.
Ultimately it isn't what you wear but how you wear it – and this
goes back to confidence.
Here are some things that a great many men overlook in their personal grooming. These are not optional, they are absolutely essential. Your fingernails (and toenails) need to be trimmed regularly, and must be free of grime. Your hair must be neat, no matter what length you prefer. If you have facial hair, keep it well trimmed. If you have bushy eyebrows, hair growing out of your ears or nose, it needs to be clipped. Period.
Why? The percentage of women that will consider dating a man with bushy ears is extremely low, approaching zero. You probably aren't going to be able to seriously date more than 50%
of the unattached females you meet for one reason or another, but let's not kill your chances completely. We're trying to build you into a person that has the best odds of success your genetic make-up will allow.
Buy some nice leather shoes. Many women will look at your shoes (also your watch) and judge you by what they see.
You don't necessarily need to shop on Rodeo Drive, but don't skimp on these accessories. $20 running shoes do not convey social status, nor does a $5 watch. Wear a belt which colour matches the shoes. Polish your shoes regularly.
Something that few people will tell you is that you also need to polish the heels of your shoes. You may not be aware, but a majority of women will sneak a glance at the backs of your shoes as you walk away to find out if you skimp on your polish job. I'm not making this up. I've asked them. This provides a clue to your character. Do you do just enough to get by, or do you approach tasks with the goal of doing them thoroughly and completely? This reflects directly on how good they believe you are going to be in bed, so it is in your best interests to get it right.
Do you smoke cigarettes? Stop it right now. Don't argue, don't make excuses. Just get rid of them. If you need help, consider nicotine patches or hypnosis programs, but do it. Four out of five women will not kiss a man who smells of cigarettes.
Four out of five. That's severely limiting your choices and opportunities.
This is one of a class of annoyances which could limit your success, not just with women, but with people in general. Along with smoking (and heavy coffee drinking) usually one will find yellow/brown teeth. Get them whitened. You'll be amazed at the difference in your social interactions.
Heavy drug use of any recreational or prescription drug is
another annoyance which should be shown the door. Hey, if you enjoy a joint to mellow you out sometimes, I'm not here to rain on your parade. Do what you wish – but realise that you are putting people off, and some of these people that you put off just might be beneficial to you. The goal is to get you to walk into a room and everybody turns and notices you and wants to be around you. For every person that doesn't want to be around you because of some bad behaviour you exhibit, you've lost a potential friend, business associate, or girlfriend, or soul mate – before they even had a chance to know you.
If you drink alcohol regularly, these same rules apply. In fact alcohol is worse because a significant number of people came from abusive families, where alcohol fuelled the abusive behaviour. I like a cold beer as much as the next guy, but if you're in public, at least give the illusion that you are acting in
moderation. Even if the person you meet didn't come from an abusive environment, they'll want to know for sure what you think of them – and that you aren't under the influence of “beer
goggles”.
Some people get belligerent and/or violent when they're drunk. If you are one of those people, you are going to face
severe difficulties in social interactions over time unless you stop getting drunk. Again, don't argue. There are many programs available. Contact AA, contact your doctor, but get help. Alcohol is used as a social fuel in most of western society and it's difficult to give it up alone.
Next let's take a good hard look at the shape of your body, because that's what you want the ladies to do. Do you have a stunning physique, a normal build, or would it best be described as a potato sack? The perfect male body is a V shaped torso with wide shoulders, and a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.8 or 0.9. Taller is better. If you don't have a perfect body, that's OK. But you should be doing something to maintain or improve it. If you are
overweight, forget about the fad diets.
It's very simple - to lose weight, you have to eat less. To cannibalise existing fat and build muscle tone you need to exercise more. That's all you need to know.
If you overeat because it gives you a feeling of well-being, you'll need to figure out why you aren't feeling well to begin with and eliminate the reason. It isn't too hard to figure out. What was on your mind ten seconds before you walked to the fridge or grabbed some feel-good snacks? Why was it on your mind? Is it
something you can fix? Fix it. If not, let it go.
As you age, your body will start requiring less food to sustain you – and if you keep eating at the rate you did when you were younger you're going to put on a belly. You'll not only live longer, but become better looking - by reducing your overall food intake slightly and swapping the huge steak for some salad and vegetables.
In any event, cut down on snacks, eat smaller portions, and find yourself some weights to work with. 10 minutes a day will do wonders over time. 30 minutes a day will do wonders in less time.
Figure out where you want to be and how long it will take and don't expect anything to happen overnight. It's OK, you've got time. Women are always on diets and not only understand, they can also tell if you're progressing or not. Progressing will enhance your male display and push you higher up the sex scale.
Letting yourself go won't.
If you have access to a gym or bicycle, consider carefully the presence of and tightness of your butt, and pay special attention to toning up this muscle. Women notice it big time and talk about and compare men's butts when talking to other
women. If you are leaving a room, you won't see it, but all the women's eyes are checking out your rear end. Give them something to fantasise about. Full and round (or flabby) is not sexy to them. Small and tight is where it's at.
Regular exercise is not only beneficial to your looks, but it increases the level of testosterone in your body. Testosterone is the chemical which gives you your masculinity. Heightened masculinity is going to work in your favour because that gives off subtle body language cues (both physical and chemical) which increase your attractiveness to women.
We can't leave this topic without mentioning symmetry.
Look at your face in a mirror. If you have any flaws on your face which make it anything less than completely symmetrical, you may wish to consider cosmetic surgery to correct it. Symmetry is considered attractive.
Anything that throws symmetry off balance is going to have a negative effect on how people perceive you. Even if it's something simple like the fact that your hair tends to grow off to one side, you might be best off with a short haircut so that you don't look off balance.
I once met a guy (Alan) who had lost an eye in an accident
and wore a dark patch over the injured eye socket. Now Alan's really a great guy and girls adore him, but he had real problems dating and getting physical. He went for years without sex. I took him out to a few clubs wearing dark glasses instead of the eye patch. Yes - it made it harder to see at night, but it gave him that critical symmetry. Within three weeks he met his current wife (Lisa). They've now been married for ten years. He is such a great guy that she was quite willing to overlook his flaw, but only because during that critical first encounter, he was symmetrical.
It's OK if you have a physical or character flaw which is not correctable. Everybody has flaws. Don't dwell on the flaws – but be aware of them. You can still improve your life by orders of magnitude. The key is to know how you are being perceived by others, and to adjust your expectations and strategies
appropriately. This doesn't mean to give up – it means to seek achievable goals. ...Then be pleasantly surprised when you exceed them beyond your wildest dreams.