Quite often men put all their eggs in one basket. They decide that there's one girl for them. Nobody else will do. If you've been chasing the same girl for more than a year, and are convinced that someday the two of you are going to be blissfully involved with each other, but you've never been on an intimate date, and she always seems to be busy when you ask her out to lunch, you are obsessed.
Trust me, I've been there - done that. It isn't fun. You can chase her for ten years and nothing is going to change. You are just wasting your time and energy on a losing situation. You may think inside your head that you are being confident, just because you are absolutely confident that you can get her to love you in return.
But you aren't confident, and your obsession is a clear indicator of just how insecure you really are. You have put all your hope into this one outcome. It's got to be this girl. You will win her over, eventually. Nobody else will ever be able to be the one for you.
Poppycock and rubbish. It isn't going to happen. You're
delusional. Confidence is not being attached or concerned with the outcome. Let her go. This will free your mind to concentrate on women that you actually might be able to seduce. Instead you just wasted a year, five years, ten years of your life in complete frustration over somebody who felt no deep attraction for you, and probably decided that she never wanted to have sex with you the very first second you met.
She's probably slept with 2, 3, maybe 10 other guys while you've been chasing her. You're hoping for just one night; and that she'll see how good you are, and how compatible you both are and live happily ever after. But you never made it onto her short list of guys that she calls when she's feeling horny. That's a warning sign you obviously weren't paying attention to. She rarely faces you directly and doesn't mirror your actions. Warning sign number two. She's always got something important
happening when you ask her out. Three strikes – you're out.
You're very unlikely to change this situation – ever. And I don't care who she is – there is always a more beautiful, more friendly, more compatible woman that you'll meet. However - you aren't going to meet her or even recognise that she may indeed be the soul-mate you've been looking for, until you let your
obsession go.
if you refuse to part with your obsession without one last ditch effort, I'm sympathetic. Doubtful, but sympathetic. Anyway here's what you do... The problem is that she has never felt physical attraction for you. You're just a friend – if that. You need to break her out of that mindset and make her think of you in a sexual way. Walk up boldly and kiss her – on the lips, without flinching. (This is very basic - find out all about ratcheting up sexual tension, creating attraction loops, and how to give her a mind-blowing first kiss later in this book.) Then walk away. You can use other attraction loop techniques as well. Try hard not to see her again for at least a day or two. The next time you see her, if she responds favourably and is smiling, you may still be in the game. Otherwise, you're out. She's so used to treating you as an unfuckable male that she can't even imagine you any other way. Your relationship will never be the same as it was (pathetic as it may have been). You're done. Forget about her and move on.
You only have one remotely slim chance left – but to do that you really do need to let her go. Your absolute last chance is to be seen by her in amorous situations with other women. If she
has any feelings of attraction for you at all, she will feel jealousy and may decide that she now needs to compete for your attention (which she will, vigorously, if she has feelings for you). If she doesn't, you are well and truly out - game over. But at this point it shouldn't matter because you're too busy having fun with other women.
I also want you to think about this feeling of desire that you felt towards this person – and why you felt it. Most likely this person has flaws. Everybody does. If you think objectively about it, you'll remember that she isn't perfect. You overlooked a few things because you were blinded by desire.
And why were you under the control of this desire spell?
Because you wanted her but couldn't have her. It seemed like she really liked you, but she never established rapport and
avoided situations which would allow you intimate access into her life. This made her more desirable in your eyes. You pursued her with increased vigour to try and turn the tables in your favour. And everything you tried (and failed with) increased your desire, until it felt that she had infected your mind and she was the most desirable woman on the planet.
Think about what I've just described. This is the key to
seduction. She had you in an attraction loop, whether it was intentional or not. Learn this well and use this in your own life.
Show some attraction/interest, but withhold complete rapport and intimacy – and it will increase desire, to the point where
somebody will become obsessed with you.